JoeDirt

And yet our main event? Bradshaw vs. Funaki.

Wow, did that almost go 20 minutes?

These guys are working their asses off. Kind of sad they'll just be jobbers for JBL or something like that.

If we're lucky, Jindrak will turn face this summer. See, Rikishi will turn heel and start squashing lower midcarders. On July 4th (on top of the USS Intrepid), there will be a special Rikishi vs. America challenge where several SmackDown wrestlers will try to bodyslam Rikishi. Those superstars will fail and Rikishi will appear to have won. Then, Mark Jindrak will arrive via helicopter. He'll bodyslam Rikishi and turn into a patriotic face. The funny thing is I actually watched the July 5, 1993 RAW earlier today and watched the highlights from the Stars and Stripes Challenge. I just hated how they never explained Luger's face turn suddenly from the Narcissist - not even to say that he realized he was being stupid and wanted to defend his country, or something like that.

Holy crap - they're actually having Bradshaw/Funaki as the main event??? Wow. This is how Velocity should be, though...just straight matches and interviews, no recap crap. Too bad there'll probably be a ton of recap stuff after this match.

Shannon Moore is about as low as you get on the jobber chain these days. I wonder who (if anyone) Jindrak will get to beat at Judgment Day.

Did Jindrak just rack Moore? My God, he really DOES want to be the next Luger!

He had a gimmick?

Shannon Moore with a new haircut. The excitement continues!!!

LOL, I was actually just going to write that. But hopefully Lex never shows up ever again.

No problemo. Here's Teddy to introduce Jindrak.

-It was a TV taping, so the folks got to see plenty of matches. From Cawthon's site: In Your House "Beware of Dog" - Florence, SC - May 26, 1996 Bob Holly pinned Isaac Yankem DDS with a top rope move Jake Roberts pinned Justin Bradshaw (w/ Uncle Zebakiah) with a roll up; after the match, Bradshaw attacked Roberts Ahmed Johnson pinned Jerry Lawler with a sidewalk slam The Ultimate Warrior pinned Owen Hart with a series of clotheslines Free for All: The Smoking Gunns defeated WWF Tag Team Champions Henry & Phinneas Godwinn to win the titles when Bart Gunn pinned Phinneas with a back suplex after Phinneas became distracted by Sunny kissing Billy Gunn Pay-per-view bouts (only the first and final bout were shown on TV after the power in the arena went out): Marc Mero (w/ Sable) pinned Hunter Hearst Helmsley after slingshotting him into the steel ring post Savio Vega defeated Steve Austin in a strap match by touching all four corners; after the match, Austin attacked Savio and hung him with the strap Yokozuna pinned Vader (w/ Jim Cornette) with a Samoan Drop WWF IC Champion Goldust (w/ Marlena) defeated the Undertaker (w/ Paul Bearer) in a casket match after Steve Austin, Vader, Justin Bradshaw, and Isaac Yankem DDS attacked the challenger WWF World Champion Shawn Michaels (w/ Jose Lothario) fought Davey Boy Smith (w/ Jim Cornette & Diana Smith) to a draw when both men had their shoulders down following a German suplex into a bridge by the champion WWF @ North Charleston, SC - Coliseum - May 28, 1996 Television taping: Barry Horowitz defeated Owen Hart via disqualification Ahmed Johnson defeated Owen Hart The Undertaker defeated Mankind WWF World Champion Shawn Michaels defeated WWF IC Champion Goldust In Your House: Beware of Dog 2 - shown live: Savio Vega defeated Steve Austin in a Caribbean strap match at 21:27; due to prematch stipulations, Ted Dibiase had to leave the WWF Vader pinned Yokozuna at 8:53 with the Vader Bomb WWF IC Champion Goldust defeated the Undertaker in a casket match at 12:36 after Mankind came out of the casket and attacked the Undertaker WWF Superstars: 6/2/96: Jake Roberts defeated George South Marty Jannetty & Leif Cassidy defeated Matt & Jeff Hardy Hunter Hearst Helmsley defeated Marty Garner Yokozuna defeated Tony Johnson KOTR Qualifying match: Justin Bradshaw pinned Henry Godwinn with the lariat 6/9/96: Henry & Phinneas Godwinn defeated the Ringlords Steve Austin defeated Jason Ahrndt Mankind defeated Bruno Detista Jerry Lawler defeated Marty Garner KOTR Qualifying match: Savio Vega defeated Marty Jannetty 6/16/96: Vader defeated Tony Johnson Marc Mero defeated Jason Ahrndt WWF Tag Team Champions the Smoking Gunns defeated Matt & Jeff Hardy KOTR Quarter Finals: Jake Roberts pinned Justin Bradshaw with the DDT -Interesting that they put Yoko over Vader on the first card since no one was watching on PPV.

For shizzle, my Angle-sizzle. *Raises the roof* And yes, I'm extremely white.

So how do they book the main event? It seems like it would hurt Raven just to job cleanly to Styles, but I don't see them taking the strap off Styles so soon either.

This was reported in the Calgary Sun: "TURNING JAPANESE: Former Japanese rugby star Kenzo Suzuki will be making his WWE debut on the May 10 edition of Raw in San Jose. Billed as Hirohito, a Japanese patriot out to get revenge for America's actions in the Second World War (because it's not like WWE saddles foreigners with tacky stereotypical gimmicks or anything), Suzuki will make his TV debut at the live show, seconded by a North American 'bodyguard' character."

The scary thing about this card is I don't know how they're going to fill up two hours and forty-five minutes of PPV time. Cena/Dupree should NOT go more than ten minutes. Taker/Booker at the house shows has been a minute. Bradshaw/Eddie will scarily enough probably get 20 minutes. I sense that the show is going to be a lot of filler. And they haven't even developed any feuds for the show besides the ones above.

We need the old school Superstars show back! Jobber squashes galore and event center news updates!!!!

I tried to post a Roddy Piper promo today that was non sensical...sadly, it made a little bit of sense. What's the most non-sensical promo you've ever heard? (Somehow I guess somebody mentions Warrior)

Messiah retained over B-Boy. According to the CZWFans board, only 71 people were there.

Downhome, your sig is frighteningly addictive to look at. Cool stuff. Too bad more young guys don't heed Funk's warnings.

Man, you obviously haven't read the board in the past few weeks. It's Kevin Fertig, AKA Seven from OVW.

Bauer tries to do way too much at once. I'm sure this will be no different, and the thing will bomb. But hey, if it works out, more power to them. Here's a column from their website at www.h2wrestling.com to explain what it's supposed to be all about... "Welcome to my first column for H2Wrestling.com's Backstage section with the first All Access Report! Let me first state that it's great to be back writing about what I love the most - professional wrestling. The question on everyone's mind is obviously "what is H2 Pro-Wrestling all about?" Simply put: H2 is an experience. With H2, once you're in the building you're never quite sure when the show starts, as we guarantee you it isn't when the bell rings for the first match. My personal recommendation is to be ready as the group of wrestlers and personalities H2 has put together are quite outspoken, spontaneous and hungry to make a name for themselves - and you never know in what way they may decide to demonstrate just how true that statement is. Basically, H2 is giving fans a chance to see every side of wrestling straight up in their faces and we don't even know what the results will be! Naturally, this creates many unpredictable and combustible situations for H2. "H2: The Experience begins when you enter the arena." It's recommended you prepare for the unexpected: be on your feet, eyes peeled and keep your ears open as things aren't always as they seem from the autograph table to the random other elements at the show. H2 has told its crew to not hold back and exercise its right to freedom of expression and aggression as H2 is all about who will be the next big player and who is the king of the hill. There's no censorship or time honored wrestling code being forced on this rowdy bunch, folks. Have you ever watched a movie that totally enthralled you the second it started? Has it been too long since a wrestling match broke the barriers of how the game was played and had you emotionally attached to each strike or move? Well, I can assure you it is H2's goal to fill these voids for fans and deliver it with great quality in a different way... the H2 way. As you'll read in the Learn H2 section of the site, H2 isn't about one simple element that makes wrestling great, such as athleticism or respect... it's about a collective unpredictable experience - the H2 Experience. H2 is where you're going to see some of tomorrow and today's most talented wrestlers and personalities like "The Bulldog" Harry Smith & TJ Wilson, Ricky Reyes & Rocky Romero, Jill Love, Ted Hart, and more showcased. H2 is where you will see gravity defying skills on display. H2 is where you will have your passion for wrestling relit with a most colorful and charismatic roster. All of this is what attracted me to the company. H2 isn't your ordinary wrestling outing. H2 is something rare. H2 isn't trying to take over the world. H2 is about what other wrestling shows out there don't possess in some way or form. H2 has a level of electricity that I've seen with the crew involved both in the locker room and in the office that Ted Hart & Court Bauer assembled the likes of which I haven't encountered in my career up to this point. This is what made H2 a must for me and I hope you will also find it to be the same when you discover H2 for the very first time on June 26 in Boston, MA at the Roxy as it's our goal to give you something special and different at an affordable price. Until next time..."

The Mooregasm is a somersault neckbreaker from the top/2nd rope.

You can get it off Kazaa if you look a little.

So Horshu is Luther Rains, huh?