JoeDirt

I was watching a RAW from 1993 where the Steiners absolutely stiffed the SHIT out of their two jobber opponents. I know, I know, big surprise. Scott Steiner IMMEDIATELY grabs a full nelson and hits the SICKEST DRAGON SUPLEX _EVER_ to start off the match, and then follows with a few belly to belly suplexes and a double underhook powerbomb. Rick then comes in and clotheslines the SHIT out of the poor guy a few times before kneeing him, punching him, and finishing the beating with a double team bulldog for the pin. Then, there's the SICK beating in the Low Ki/Hit Squad vs. Special K match from Ring of Honor's Expect the Unexpected, which was pretty close to crossing the line...it was just SICK. Any others you can think of?

Post any Schiavone-related funny stuff in this thread. Just to get us started: "We talked so much about it. What if Savage wins the title? What if Hogan wins the title? Whats gonna happen? Who's going to have the power in the NWO? But I'm gonna be honest with you. I don't give a darn!" ------------ "THERE'S STING! THERE'S STING! THERE'S STING! oh, he just hit Luger? thats not Sting...Its Kevin Nash!" --------------- Heenan- "Sting is human just like everyone else." TS- "I don't know if he's human. I think he's transcendent." ----------------- "The Steiners are more smarter than announcers and others give them credit for."

Patrick Peters - that just sounds funny to me. Still better than Garrison Cade!

This is kind of off topic but still funny. During the end of my senior year in high school, some friends and I started stealing textbooks from classrooms and books out of the library and piling them up in an empty locker across from mine. We then got so many that we'd take a few home day by day, and basically we prepared for a bonfire after graduation, using all the books. Anyways, someone tells on us and we get called to the principle's office. We all deny it, etc etc. They check our lockers, nothing. Anyways, later that day I'm walking down the hall and the principle and a staff member are going through some more lockers. They fling open the one and a shitload of books fall out onto the floor. I can't help but start to laugh, and the guy goes nuts at me. The staff member had to hold him back as he yells "I can't wait until you fucking kids are out of this school! You're like fucking rats in a maze!" Having a principle say the F-word to you is very strange, yet very funny.

Was the guy always this insane when he talked? Here's a promo from Nitro before Slamboree 1997, where he teamed with Ric Flair and Kevin Greene to take on the nWo. Flair and Greene are standing there as Okerlund interviews Piper and here's what he says: "Isn't it funny, isn't it funny that everytime I'm here the big bald guy happens to stay at home. All I see is instead of the big bald guy, I see all these nWo gorillas, asking Congo - at least in Congo the gorillas pick the lice off each other. These particular guys, they don't have the brain of a tsetse fly between the whole batch of 'em. The nWo, which I'm up to here with, and I'm telling all of them to come on down, come on down to Charlotte at the next pay per view - we'll take on the whole batch of you. They come out, they're in spandex, right? They got Eric Bischoff with Rodman's T-shirt on going "I'm too sexy for Dennis Rodman, too sexy for Pee Wee Herman" while the rest of the nWo are in spandex jumping out of the closet. Heck, I'm going to go to the closet and see what they're afraid of in there. They call him the Godfather, old baldy. I tell you what, if I'm in bed and I see a dead horse's head, I have a barbecue. Hang on, hang on. I tell you something nWo, you big tough guys, you ride your skateboards and try and to be so cool on the asphalt, there's a couple of guys from the east coast and one from the west coast, who was down when there was 300 people in the garage, fighting each other, taking axes, beating down trees, pouring that asphalt, beating down trees, pouring that asphalt, beating down trees, starring in Starcade, starring in Wrestlemania. And if it wasn't for us paving this smooth road, you might not be so damn cool. Let me tell you something else nWo. We've got a guy who runs through seven 320 pound guys every day of his life to get the ball, and his name is Kevin Greene." He then introduces Greene, and he and Flair finish the interview. I'm sorry, I was watching this and I just had to transcribe it - I was laughing my ass of at this stuff.

Meltzer said it was London.

That's Paul London? EDIT: Nevermind, yup, it is.

Does anyone find Rico's act funny? I don't... Sorry Deon.

Yay! Jeff Hardy is coming back! *screams like a little girl* Doesn't Jeff epitomize the style of wrestling the WWE DOESN'T want these days?

Is it one of those sick internet sites that has you pay so sickos can look at pictures of JFK, Daniel Pearl, etc? To be honest, though, I'm surprised no Owen video has ever surfaced on the "underground". And I'm glad.

There's a big thread on this in the old school section you should check out.

That's one of the funniest things I've read in a while.

I'm guessing this leads to an AMW heel turn. Harris asked for the shot to be given to Storm, but it's given to Styles for no apparent reason. Then heel AMW goes after Styles, as does Raven, as does Jarrett, as does Abyss. Or maybe not...that's a lot of heels.

What about Russo's idea for a Gates of Hell match - there is a hole in the ring that opens and closes every so often, and you have to shove your opponent into the pits of fire in order to win. But with that TLC/HIAC match, why not make the ropes barbed wire?

Fall Brawl 96 and 97 are both pretty damn good shows. The other good ones are shows people already mentioned. And there is a LOT of crap. Slamboree 97 (Benoit jobs to Meng, nWo vs. Piper, Flair and Greene) All the WW3's apparently suck, but the only one I've seen in 1997. How about Road Wild 98? Jay Leno in the main event?

From PWTorch: (I got caught in a traffic jam on my way home from the hospital visiting my grandmother, so I missed the first few minutes of the PPV, joining the first near the finish). 1 -- ABYSS & MONTE BROWN vs. SABU & RAVEN Mike Tenay and Don West said Raven claimed he would have Sabu's back, but he didn't even show up for his tag match with Sabu. Sabu took a beating, but snuck in some highspots with the chair before falling prey to the double-teaming. WINNERS: Abyss & Brown -Just as Tenay wondered alod where Raven was, they went backstage where Raven was attacking Chris Harris. He twisted and torqued his arrm against a metal object on the floor. Then he rammed his arm with a chair. Harris writhed in pain. West said Raven is despicable. Raven then rammed the guard rail across Harris's arm, then went back to an overhead armbar as Harris screamed in pain. James Storm finally made the save, brawing with Raven until Raven fled to the ring. Vince Russo came to check on Harris. When Raven entered the ring, he stepped over Sabu and yelled at him to get up. Sabu sat up and began asking Raven where he had been. He struggled to get up, but clutched his ribs and fell. They went backstage again where Harris was being helped up. Tenay said it didn't look good for him. -Jeremy Borash interviewed Frankie "The Future" Kazarian. He asked him if he was disappointed that he wasn't selected by the NWA to fill in for Sonjay Dutt. He said no, that he's lost interest in representing the NWA. He said Amazing Red and Sonjay Dutt are going to wrestle to earn a title shot against him. Then David Young walked up to Borash and asked where Scott Hudson was. Borash said Hudson wasn't there. Borash asked him about his situation with Glenn Gilberti. Young said he hasn't been able to reach him by phone. Borash said maybe it has to do with his losing streak. Young said he is going to hit all homeruns from now on and isn't responsible for what happens to Shark Boy later. 2 -- DAVID YOUNG vs. SHARK BOY Tenay said Young's record resembled the Washington Generals, the "long-time patsies of the Harlem Globetrotters." Young went right to mat work. Shark Boy came back with some offfense. Young then dominated for several minutes, but Shark Boy rolled him up with a small package for the three count. Tenay compared Young's losing streak to Barrry Horowitz (as Jack Hart), Tony Falk, and Mike Boyette. Aw, the memories. WINNER: Shark Boy at 4:10. STAR RATING: 3/4* -- Basic stuff. -3 Live Krew came to the ring in camoflauge. Konnan said as bad as things have been for them lately, it hasn't been as bad as it's been for David Young, "who couldn't be a star if a ninja threw him." Good line. He then complained about TNA politics. B.G. James came out and said they are ready for war, but then explained his necklacce and bracelets by saying, "A man's got to accessorize, don't he?" James made a case for Russso putting Ron "The Truth" Killings in the cage match later against Jeff Jarrett because he deserves to the title shot. Killings told the fans they can't handle the truth, then went into a dance. -They went outside to the ambulance where Harris was being tended to. He told Russo he's come this far, he isn't stopping now, but if anyone takes his place, it should be his partner James Storm. 3 -- GLENN GILBERTI & JOHNNY SWINGER vs. SIMON DIAMOND & SONNY SIAKI Tenay and West speculated on the big decision Russo had to make about the main event title match in the cage. Tenay said Raven has just totally changed the face of the event. Tenay talked about how much Gilberti and Swinger have in common, including Italian heritage and mutual hatred ffor Diamond. Diamond and Siaki set Swinger on a chair at ringside and nailed him with a double superkick at 4:30. Soon, Gilberti and Swinger took over control for several minutes. At 8:30 Diamond hot-tagged Siaki. Siaki hit the Siakilypse on Swinger at 9:30 for a near fall. West contended the ref should've counted to three and not been distracted by Gilberti trying to break up the pin. Siaki then went to the top rope, but Trinity shoved him to the mat.Swinger then hit Siaki with a double-arm DDT for the win. After the match Desire returned to save Siaki. Tenay said they hadn't seen Desire since a year ago when she broke her back in a match on Xplosion. Desire and Siaki embraced. WINNER: Swinger & Gilberti at 10:18. STAR RATING: *3/4 -- Good average ten minute tag. -Borash interviewed Russo backstage, asking him who he was going to pick to replace Harris. A.J. Styles walked in and demanded that he be Russo's choice. Russo told him he wouldn't give him the time of day for months as he's been trying to apologize to him, but now he wants a favor. "You should have thought of this six weeks ago," Russo said. -A recap aired of the break-up of Michael Shane telling Shane Douglas he wanted to go after the X Title. Then a taped promo aired with Christopher Daniels. 4 -- MICHAEL SHANE (w/Tracy) vs. CHRISTOPHER DANIELS Tenay talked about Daniels's international credentials, but said it might have sidetracked him from ever getting the X Title. At 1:30 Daniels, who looked sharp with his timing, backdropped Shane over the top rope to the floor. Shane then took control of the body of the match with relatively methodical offense. Daniels came back with a schoolboy for a two count at 4:00. Shane lifted Daniels over the top rope to the floor. Tracy took a cheap shot against Daniels with her cast. Daniels tried to fight back at 6:45, then ducked a Shane clotheseline a minute later and rammed his face into the mat. Both men were down as the ref began a ten count. Daniels recovered and gave Shane a T-bone suplex and then a slam for a two count at 8:30. Tenay said Douglas looked worried. Shane caught a charging Daniels with a boot to the face. Daniels knocked Shane offf the top rope crotch first, then knocked him hard to the floor with a running check. Douglas cheered on Shane. When Daniels went for a flip onto Shane, Douglas moved him and took his place, taking the brunt of the dive himself. Daniels recovered quickly and sent Shane into the railing. Douglas pulled out a chain. Daniels threw Shane into the ring and went for a back suplex, but turned it into a pump handle slam. He then hit the BME (Best Moonsault Ever) for a near fall at 10:45. Shane surprised a charging Daniels with a superkick at 11:30. Douglas laughed at ringside. Daniels kicked out of the pin attempt. Douglas screamed, "No! No! No!" at ringside. Daniels backdropped Shane and then hit an enzuigiri for a near fall. Daniels got up and head-butted Shane, then set up the Last Rites, but as Tracy distracted the ref, Douglas KO'd Daniels with a chain at 12:45. Shane turned down help from Douglas and wanted to do his superkick. Douglas grabbed his leg to try to talk him into his idea. When he finally went for the superkick, Daniels sidestepped it and hit his finisher for the win. Afterward, the rest of Team NWA congratulated Daniels on the rampway. WINNER: Daniels at 13:29. STAR RATING: ***1/4 -- The final few minutes were really good. Actually, the whole match for the most part was crisp and solid with the right levels of intensity and cadence throughout. -In the ring, Douglas asked Shane why he didn't go for the pin right away and instead insisted on hitting a superkick. Tracy roller her eyes as they argued with each other again. Shane finally told Douglas to do something about it if he had such a problem with him. Shane then shoved Tracy and Douglas. Shane then slapped Douglas, who yanked off his shirt with buttons popping everywhere. Douglas pulled off his belt. Aparently he planned to punish Shane by getting naked in front of him. Oh, instead he whippeed him with his belt then took him down with a hard clothesline. He threw a series of punches at Shane's forehead. Shane cowered. Tracy couldn't take anymore and she wrapped Douglas's belt around his neck. Shane then superkicked Douglas and got in his face with some trash-talking. Tracy then whipped Douglas. Security came out to clear the ring. -Borash interviewed Russo, asking for his decision. He said the locker room is full of anxious wrestlers. Russo told Borash that he's repeating himself after every match. He said he knows what's at stake. The match has been in the works for six weeks, and so he's not going to make a snap decision. He told Borash he would be the first person he told. Abyss then entered the picture and grunted. Goldy Locks entered doing a new Hispanic accent this week. She's showing her tremendous acting range. Russo told her Halloween is over, and "don't call me, I'll call you." -A recap aired of Kid Kash and Dallas winning the tag titles, but holding them only for one week because "the disqualfication rule confused the newcomer," Dallas. 5 -- D-LO BROWN & APOLO vs. KID KASH & DALLAS - NWA World Tag Team Title match In the opening seconds Apolo threw Kash into Dallas's arms at ringside, the D-Lo dove over the top rope onto both of them. Then he held them in place as Apolo dove onto them. D-Lo and Apolo high-fived each other, then threw their opponents back into the ring. Kash surprised D-Lo with a dropkick, showing no effects from the dives he absorbed at ringside just seconds earlier. D-Lo quickly turned the tables and dropped Kash on his leg, then tagged in Apolo. Apolo and D-Lo double-slammed Kash in center-ring at 2:00. They let Kash tag in Dallas, who went nose-to-nose with Apolo. Apolo powerslammed Dallas. Kash tagged back in and dropkicked D-Lo in this match with no short-term, much less long-term selling, but a lot of moves. Dallas dropped Kash onto D-Lo, but of course D-Lo immediately fought back, continuing the streak of selling nothing for more than three seconds in this match. D-Lo caught Kash flying at him and powerbombing. D-Lo headbobbed to signal his pending crawl to hot-tag Dallas. Apolo also tagged in and went to work on Dallas with clotheslines. Kash jumped at Apolo, but Apolo suplexed him for a two coun t at 5:30. Four-way action includd D-Lo clotheslining Kash and Apolo knocking Dallas out of the ring. D-Lo then got wide-eyed as he did a swinging slam on Kash that awkwardly led to Kash's legs grazing the ref. As the ref ordered D-Lo out of the ring, Apolo wrested a stick away from Dallas and Kash and used it against them. When the ref saw it, he DQ'd Apolo. WINNERS: Dallas & Kash at 6:40 to capture the NWA Tag Team Titles. STAR RATING: *1/4 -- Lots of action, but the lack of any selling got really annoying quickly. Now I understand why titles don't changes hands on a DQ; it really cheapens the title when they change hands like that. -Backstage Raven tried to talk Russo into giving him the title shot he deserves. Raven said if his goal is to get the belt off of Jarrett, he is his best chance. He said he is the lesser of two evils. Russo asked Raven what kind of champion he'd be. He wondered if he'd be a thorn in his side. Raven told Russo he has a tough decision, but he should realize he is his last line of defense. Russo said a lot of people aren't going to like his decision, but he made it. He then shook hands with Raven and walked away without clarifying specifically his decision. -A promo aired announcing that May 26, the World X Cup would include a finals in the Ultimate X format. West and Tenay talked about that big announcement. West then plugged the TNA training center. Then he plugged the new TNA trading cards. West plugged next week's six man match with the women joining Siaki & Diamond vs. Gilberti & Swinger and Abyss vs. Sabu. -Borash interviewed Jeff Jarrett backstage. Jarrett complained about Raven and Russo making a deal one year after their big title match, the most anticipated in TNA history. He said now it's time for a rematch and he'll walk in the champion and walk out the champion. -Vince Russo walked out and went over each of the wrestlers who threw their names into the hat for the chance to replace Chris Harris in the title cage match. He said he would make a deal with the devil and give Raven the title shot, prompting Raven to throw a fit backstage. He finally revealed that Styles was his choice. 6 -- JEFF JARRETT vs. A.J. STYLES -- NWA World Hvt. Title cage match Nice opening two minutes paced for a longer match. Styles has been one of Jarrett's better opponents over the past nearly 20 months since TNA began. Styles hit Jarrett with a high dropkick at 2:45. He followed with a bodyslam and a simple kneedrop that he managed to make special with an extra lift in mid-air before dropping down. He followed with a delayed vertical suplex. Jarrett came back with a decisive offense stretch starting at 4;00. Styles came back with an attempted top rope dropkick, but Jarrett moved out of his path. Styles surprised Jarrett with a sudden small package for a two count. Jarrett then applied the scorpion deathlock. Styles crawled to the ropes and reversed it. Styles took over with a back suplex. When he went for a tornado clothesline, Jarrett moved. Then Jarrett threw powder in his face and went for a quick pin for a two count. When Styles began another comeback at 9:45, Jarrett pulled out a foreign obejct from his boot. Styles kicked out after a blow from the object. Jarrett went for the Stroke, but Styles blocked it. Jarrrett then went for the Styles Clash, but Styles huracanrana'd out of it. Styles then hit his own Styles Clash at 11:00 and scored a very near fall. Styles then moved to the top rope, and then made his way to the top of the cage. Jarrett shoved the ref into the cage, knocking Styles off balance who took a scary looking bump off balance. He hung onto the top of the cage. Jarrett rammed into the side of the cage and knocked Styles to the floor. The crowd chanted "Holy sh--." The referee ordered the cage door opened so the match could continue since there are no countouts in TNA cage matches and you must win by pin or submission. Jarrett then brought his guitar into the ring. Russo tried to run up the side of the cage, but Jarrett rammed the guitar at him. Styles then recovered enough to block Jarrett's guitar swing with an enzuigiri looking kick. He followed with a crucifix for a three count. Raven grimaced from the stage as Styles ceelbrated at ringside with the belt. Russo smiled a Styles paraded around the ring. Russo offered a handshake to Styles. Styles slapped his hand, then hugged Russo. Tenay said history was just made. WINNER: Styles at 13:34 to capture the NWA World Hvt. Title. STAR RATING: ***3/4 -- Very good 13 minute cage match. Too bad they didn't five or ten more minutes of spots into it because it seemed a bit rushed getting to the big spots.

Thought I'd post these for you people who don't read the spoilers: Velocity: Jindrak vs. Orlando Jordan Bashams vs. Holly/Gunn Spike vs. Noble Nunzio vs. Funaki Smackdown: Booker T vs. RVD Rikishi/Scotty vs. Rico/Haas Cena vs. Chavo Jr. and Chavo Sr. JBL vs. El Gran (A Mexican wrestler?) Eddie in a handicap match announced on the show

He screwed me out of a small $15 order and wouldn't return my emails.

If anyone wants to help out on that, I'd get a good laugh from it.

I expected Kim to get taken, too, since CTU always botches shit up like that. Next week looks pretty cool. A game of chicken with the virus and Saunders' daughter. Very nice...

Check in after or during the show and post your match star ratings and MOTN choice for Backlash right here.

I ordered back in February. I ordered KOTR 96 and Survivor Series 92 dubbed on DVD's. After hearing no response I emailed him. He said that he didn't have a master of KOTR 96, so he was in the process of getting another one. Then he stopped answering my emails. I created a free hotmail account and wrote him from there, and he answered that email. The site is wrestlefest.net His email is: [email protected]

Amen, brother. Those event center updates rocked. Reminds you of being a kid again.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say Kim dies before the end of the season. It's a long shot, but I think they'll make her go out looking heroic.

I like how this season is picking up steam late unlike last year, where I thought the shows were a lot worse after the bomb went off. Can't believe Chappelle died! I had to laugh when he said he didn't have any friends or family he wanted to talk to before he died. Poor Chappelle.