Hoff

CBright, it's "Wrestling With Shadows," and it's as horribly biased as this will be, albeit in the opposite direction. They could not have nailed Bret to a larger cross. Just vomitous.

Just make sure Edge is the one to call her. She won't give poor Captain Charisma the time of day.

Completely off-topic double post: the VInnie Mac strut syncs up hilariously well with "Tipsy."

I'd be his friend.

We really don't KNOW how the coochie is. Well, mayeb a few of us do. Lita's not exactly locking on the chastity belt.

Oh, I uh, conquer. 5 points to the first person to catch the pop-culture reference.

I believe that *I* said that as well, or tried to. It's an efed, we do have this luxury. The date. Keep in mind that if we move it to 4/3, we then only have three weeks of build until Living Anglelously (or whatever we call the April show this year), unless we move THAT to May 1st. So, something to consider. Part of me actually LIKES only having three weeks, as it's a sort of challenge, but I'm likely in the minority there.

Steps is OK.

I hate those things.

Zack, I think you're forgetting a heel theme, but it might just be nothing.

@#$%

ZING~! Hoff/Stevens, Cage Match Part Deux ...other stuff?

COLE Main event time....NOW!! Anything but Me by pop diva Lindsay Lohan plays and the crowd explodes with a ginormous pop! Alix Spezia, clad in tie dyed outfit, comes out from the back and pumps her arm in the air, while rocking her body back and forth. Her movements further whip the crowd into an uproarious frenzy. Joining her at her side are Faqu and the far more attractive James Blonde, the two men who nearly upset Zack Malibu in a handicap match last week. CABOOSE BWHAHAAHA! When that bulimic ditz, Alix Spezia is the best worker on your team, you have problems. BUFFER The following is a six person tag team match! Now making their way to the ring, James Blonde ,the Wild Samoan....FAQU, and from Beverly Hills, California, she is one half of the professional wrestling tag team champions, weighing in at a gazillion pounds, ALIX SPEZIAAAAAAAA! The announcement is met with more cheers. COACH A gazillion pounds! See, Caboose, Alix isn’t small. Blonde and Faqu roll into the ring, bursting with energy. Faqu undoes his pony tail, letting his wild, stringy hair hang free. Blonde takes off his Anglemania IV basketball jersey and hurls into the eager arms of the crowd. Alix hands over her tag team title to referee Billy Silverman. “Don’t sell it for aids!” Alix warns him. He assures her he won’t. The adrenaline heavy sounds of Getting Away with Murder are heard loud and clear through the sound system. The boos of the heavily anti Elite crowd are heard even clearer. While gold spotlights swing across the stage, the black entrance doors slide apart to reveal The Original Elite. Standing front and center is a smirking Tony Brannigan, wearing tights that are too sexually explicit for even *me* to explain. His Black T teammate, Dan Black squeezes out from behind him and heads to the ring, as serious as always. Zack outfitted in yellow biker shorts gives a nod to Tony and they follow Black down the ramp. Trailing behind them is Jivin JR who is now dressed like Elvira, and Candie, who gingerly bounces along free of the crutches Holly stuck her with. CABOOSE Candie looks to be fully recovered, meaning its only a matter of time before she gets her Women’s Title shot. BUFFER And the opponents...THE ORIGINAL ELIIIIIITEEEEE! More boos. COLE Well, Zack Malibu failed in his quest to unseat Josie this past Sunday at Zero Hour. Earlier tonight, Black T made a huge impact alongside The Midnight Express. Are these three men being pulled in opposite directions? COACH Don’t start trouble, man! I don’t want them coming over here! Tony and Dan slide into the ring, shooting daggers at Alix Spezia with their onyx eyes. Alix sports a comical “What’d I do?” look while innocently holding her hands behind her back, feigning surprise at Black T’s displeasure with her. Malibu stands on the ring apron, engaged in a spirited argument with James Blonde. CABOOSE Two old jobbers who couldn’t even beat that scrub Damaramu, and the smallest wrestler in the company are going to beat two time tag team champions and a two time world champ? Fat bloody chance. “FUCK YOU MALIBU! FUCK YOU MALIBU FUCK YOU MALIBU!” bleat the Iowa Staters to the detested heel. He turns around and gives them the finger which just forces the chants to grow louder. Jivin Elvira moons them and exposes his acne riddled ass to the world The contest starts out with The Ice Heart Dan Black and Faqu. Faqu, looking to gain control very early, gets a waistlock. Black grabs a hold of Faq’s arms, trying to pull apart his grip. No dice. The Samoan wonder lifts up Black for a German Suplex! Back wisely counters by pulling Faqu into a roll up! However Faqu foils Black by rolling through the roll up. Instead of going for a pin of his own, the former jobber gets up and runs to the ropes. He returns only to have his stomach introduced to the toe of Dan’s boot! Black grabs a butterfly lock, then lifts Faqu up and slams him face first onto his knee for a HHHesque face crusher! Faqu’s nose collides with Dan’s black knee pad and he grunts in pain! The Ice man keeps Faqu upright and leads him to his(Dan’s) corner where he slams his face into the turnbuckle! And again! And again! Faqu drops to the mat, holding his face, looking to see if any blood has been drawn. COLE So far, so bad. Dan tags in his fellow Angle Award winner, Tony Brannigan. Branngian cockily steps over the ropes greeted by a large number of jeers from the sellout crowd. Brannigan and Black pull Faqu to his feet and dizzy him with twin body shots. Felling that he’s sufficiently dazed, the always dangerous duo lift him up for a double vertical suplex! Getting a little cocky, they decide to delay the move. The blood rushes down to Faqu’s head as his dizziness increases by the moment. Suddenly both Black T members are taken down with double chop blocks from Blonde and Alix! The fans scream with joy at the top of their lungs! Needless to say, the off balance Malibu is aflame with rage! But he has little chance to act out his aggression as Alix and Blonde blasts him with stereo dropkicks, sending the Franchise tumbling to the outside floor! He lands on the black ring mats, humiliated and disgusted. Standing up to get back at his foes, he’s floored by Alix’s gorgeous springboard 450 Splash! The audience gets to their feet and rowdily cheers on the OAOAST new most popular female! Candie, no doubt upset, storms over to Alix and is all like “DON’T MESS WITH MY MAN!” and grabs Alix by her short brown hair and pulls her off of her treasured boy friend. Alix, is all like “Bring it!” and Candie is all like “Consider it brung!” And we have a CAT FIIIIIIIIGHT~! The two women roll around the outside and Alix violates the rules of a cat fight by trying to rid Candie of her pants before her top. That’s a major no-no. “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” In the ring, Blonde has Black in a slingshot position! Dan is furiously slamming his arms against the mat, making an attempt to free himself from the hold. Faqu waits behind his partner, rubbing his hands together, a sly smile on his not so hot face. Blonde falls backwards, sending Black flying threw the air! Faqu catches him and then BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEXES HIM RIGHT OUT OF THE RING! Black crashes into the floor, almost bumping his head against the announce table. Fans in the front row, mercilessly taunt an injured Dan Black while ring attendants surround him to check on his welfare and the announce crew leans over the table to do the same. COLE Oh baby! What a move! The Elite underestimated these three wrestlers. Tony, the copious amounts of baby oil splashed on him making him more slippery then an oil slick, nails Blonde with an old school bulldog! Faqu, feeling his oats, rushes towards him only to be snared into an Out of Body Experience! Negative! Faqu stymies the former tag team champion by slipping out of the hold! Maddened, Tony tries to take the star’s head off with a straight hook! Nothing doing as Faqu counters it with The Divorce (single arm DDT)! No! Tony blocks that with a super stiff STO~! Brannigan stands up and hovers over his fallen adversary. He flexes his sculpted muscles, letting the world know that Black T’s still “got it” “BLACK T SUCKS! BLACK T SUCKS! BLACK T SUCKS!” CABOOSE Now these jobbers get exposed. Or do they?! Faqu kips up and decks a gloating Brannigan with a clothesline! Tony rolls away from the Wild Samoan, putting some distance between the two. Faqu stays on him, lumbering across the ring. Not the wisest move as Tony, regaining his lost breath, lunges at him with a spinning back elbow! The blow does a number on Faqu’s cheek, leaving a deep purple bruise. He stumbles backwards with his foe showing no signs of letting up. The Body goes behind Faqu and hits a basic side Russian leg sweep. He rolls the move and hits another! Now he hooks Faqu’s leg for a pin 1 2 3....KICK OUT! Tony whips Faqu into the ropes, where Alix Spezia makes a blind tag! When Faqu returns, Tony goes for a potentially concussion inducing clothesline! Thankfully, Faqu ducks it. Tony turns around, lit up with fury over having his move avoided. Problematically he exposes himself to his nemesis, Alix. The flower child rockets herself into the match with a beautiful springboard flipping neckbreaker! COACH Wow! Brannigan goes through a fit of coughing, having no idea who or what just hit him. Alix, rooted on by the fans, backs away from The Body and encourages him to stand up. When the groggy warrior does, she darts in and smokes him with an enziguri! The blow hits him so hard, he flips over onto his back! The champion rolls the much larger wrestler on to his stomach, where he heaves for air. Eyes locked on the mat, Tony gets on all fours, starting to push himself to his feet. But Alix halts his rise, by standing on his back. She shoots her body backwards, hammering him with a breath taking table top reverse corckscrew moonsault~! “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” scream the amazed crowd, while Brannigan rolls into a stomach up position, unwilling to leave his back open to another one of Alix innovative strikes. Mocking an already embarrassed Tony, Alix stands above him, then starts to gyrate her body, stealing his “snake hips” taunt, much to the delight of the male fans in attendance. She then drops her BUTT across his chest, covering him for a pin fall! 1 KICK OUT! “Oh poopie!” Alix complains. She walks to her corner and tags in James Blonde. Tony has gotten up and comes over, but is too late to prevent the tag. Despite this, he spins Alix around and scoops her up for a slam, but Alix slides down behind him and gets on all fours, as James Blonde slingshots in with a bodypress onto Tony, which is caught...until he falls over Alix! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! "The Body" quickly shoves Blonde off of him, but as he goes to get up he's struck with a European uppercut, then whipped into the ropes. Tony stops short of leapfrogging over Blonde, kicking the youngster in the chin and then using his own Irish whip to send him into the ropes, but rather than leapfrog over Tony, Blonde rolls over his back, and then snaps him to the canvas with a Russian Legsweep, rolls to his feet, and hits a standing legdrop! Quick tag to Faqu now, and Blonde tugs on the ropes, slingshotting his partner in with a headbutt on Tony Brannigan! ONE! TW-KICKOUT! COLE The Body is one of the toughest men ever to work for this company, but Blonde, Faqu and Alix are doing a great job of working him over. Faqu pulls Tony up, but the crafty superstar pounds on the midsection of the Samoan monster, clobbering him in the stomach to get him to break his grip, then runs the ropes and comes off, collding with Faqu as he jams an elbow in his face! Faqu is rocked, teetering back and forth, as Tony runs the ropes again...and winds up in the clutches of the Samoan, who tries a release belly...NO! Tony rakes the eyes, then takes Faqu by the hair and brings him to the Elite corner, making the tag to the one and only Zack Malibu! CABOOSE Well, this match has lasted long enough I guess. Malibu slingshots in, and immediately kicks Faqu in the gut and starts peppering him with jabs, then comes off the ropes and floors Faqu with a flying forearm! Malibu starts stomping Faqu immediately, and then pulls him up and hurls him over the ropes...only to have the big Samoan's head get caught! COACH That's gotta hurt! Faqu is trapped, as with him unable to defend, Zack starts hammering on his forehead, and then BITES, attempting to draw blood from his latest rival. Alix runs in to aid her partner this evening, but Silverman sees it and orders her back...allowing Dan Black to slip into the ring. Dan claps his hands together, mimicking the tag, and now he goes to town, hammering on the trapped Faqu's head! CABOOSE It's times like this I'm grateful for a group like The Original Elite. Those three men know their way around the ring better than anyone! Referee Silverman CLAPS his hands over his head, signaling a tag was made even though he didn't actually witness it. Alix and Blonde are livid, telling Silverman a tag was never made. Silverman questions "The Ice Heart" as Black repeatedly drives the point of the elbow into Faqu's forehead. Obviously Black claims there was a tag, as does Zack and Tony. Silverman then focus his attention in getting Faqu untangled from the ropes. Unable to do so he begins counting to 5. On 4 Black backs away, receiving a stern warning from the referee to let Faqu free. While the referee is distracted with Dan, Zack and Tony pound the Somoan with right hands and clubbering forearm shots to the back. As the referee turns around, he sees Malibu cackling back to the corner, sharing a few unkind words with a couple of ringside fans, and Brannigan struting away from Faqu. He warns both men about committing any illegal activities, only to have The Franchise degrade him with a nasty little 4-letter word. COLE What disregard for authority. CABOOSE The Original Elite ARE authority, Cole. Faqu, with the help of the referee, manages to free himself. He takes a couple of deep breaths on the apron, but Black immediately puts a stop to that, kicking him to the arena floor. Dan steps through the ropes and has one leg touching the apron before referee Silverman orders him stay inside and allow Faqu to return to the ring. Dan obliges all too easily because this is exactly what he wanted -- his fellow Original Elite comrades alone on the arena floor with Faqu. Zack and Tony, the men who captured the OAOAST World Tag Team Titles for T.O.E. at Thanksgiving Stars Wars, send the big Somoan CRASHING into the RING STEPS! The loud THUD grabs the referee's attention. He steps outside the ring and personally escorts Malibu and Brannigan back to the corner himself. Tony asks Silverman not to touch him because he's a star. A worn down Faqu gets on his knees and reaches for the middle rope, which he uses to slowly pull himself back on the apron. Dan reaches through the ropes and brings the big man back into the ring, hooking both arms and ramming his head into the canvas. DOUBLE-ARM DDT! The cover. CABOOSE Noticed how he hit the move near his corner. Not only does it isolated Faqu from his corner, but it also makes it harder for his partners to make a save because they have to run all the way across the ring. And we all know it only takes 3 seconds to lose a match. 1... 2... KICKOUT! COLE Faqu just got the shoulder up as referee Silverman's hand was coming down for 3. But how much more can he take? He's taken quite a pound in the last few minutes of the match. Black swipes his thumb across his throat and heads to the corner, where he climbs to the top rope. He LEAPS... CABOOSE If he hits this, it's over. ...AND MISSES THE DIVING HEADBUTT! The fans come alive, sensing there's still hope for the good guys and gal. The sound of feet stomping, whistling and clapping fills the air. Faqu turns onto his stomach and begins crawling to his corner, inch by inch. Blonde and Alix reach as far as they can over the top rope, getting any bit of advantage they can so they can make the tag. Black is rocking back and forth, clutching his head. He shakes off the cobwebs and TAGS TONY. Brannigan sprints to the corner of Faqu, Blonde and Spezia and knocks Blonde off the apron with a forearm to the chest. Referee Silverman having to restain an angry James Blonde. The arrogant 6'6", 292 pound Tony Brannigan stands over a fallen Faqu. He laughs as Faqu uses his legs to pull himself up. "Oh, you want to get up," the grinning former Tag Team champion says as he brings Faqu back to his feet and drives a knee into the gut before wrapping those tree trunks of arms of his around the neck of Faqu and slams him to the mat. RUDE AWAKENING (neckbreaker)! Brannigan pins Faqu with one foot. COLE That isn't going get it down, I can tell you that. ONE... TWO... T--KICKOUT! Brannigan hits the ropes and drops the forearm across the chest, dangerously below the throat, and does it again. He drags Faqu back to his corner and tags in Zack Malibu, the former two-time heavyweight champion of the world, and he's certainly dealing with a heavyweight in the ring. Zack stands near the corner, his back turn away from his opponent, grabs the top rope with both of his hands and springboards to the second rope and kicks his legs out backwards, crashing all his weight down with a move known as the Vaderbomb. He hooks the leg. ONE... TWO... TH-KICKOUT! Malibu viciously stomps the top of Faqu's head, although it seems to be jacking the big man up. Zack walks back to his corner and tags in Dan Black. Elbow to the sternum of his opponent and covers him. ONE... TWO... THR-KICKOUT! Faqu counters Dan's Irish whip attempt, lifting her Majesty's favorite wrestler up on his shoulderblades and dropping him backwards. SOMOAN DROP! The fans once again sense a prime opportunity for Faqu to make the tag. The big man makes another crawl to his corner, hoping this is the one where he finally makes the tag. It's a crawl down between Faqu and Black. Who can make a tag first? It's Dan, who tags Zack Malibu. The Franchise comes in and dives on top of Faqu with a double axe-handle to the back, in hopes of preventing him from making the tag, but he DIVED to his corner BEFORE Zack nailed him. TAG MADE TO ALIX! "YEEEEEAAAAAAH!" Zack throws a right hand -- but it's BLOCKED by Alix, and she rocks Malibu with a forearm to the jaw. Tony Brannigan comes to help out his partner, but James Blonde meets him halfway and the two begin slugging it out. Dan Black decks Blonde from behind with a double axe-handle smash. To borrow a phrase commonly used by Stone Cold Steve Austin and J.R., Black T proceed to stomp a mudhole and walk it dry. The crowd ROARS as Faqu decks Tony with a RUNNING CLOTHESLINE. Brannigan rolls out of the ring. Faqu turns his attention to Dan Black, but "The Ice Heart" is waiting and drills him with the POWER TRIP (SUPER)KICK that sends Faqu falling through the ropes and to the floor. Black turns around and gets caught with a FLYING CROSS BODYBLOCK from James Blonde that sends both men over the top rope. Meanwhile, in the ring, Zack THUMBS ALIX IN THE EYE. The self-ordained "Franchise" fires Spezia to the ropes. She sparkplug of C.O.D. ducks under a clothesline and leapfrogs over the former two-time OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, knocking him off his feet HANDSPRING BACK ELBOW OFF THE ROPES! ONE... TWO.... THR-- NO! KICKOUT! COLE Oh! I thought she had him. CABOOSE Plently of women wished they had Malibu. Zack catches Alix coming back up with a SMALL PACKAGE! 1... 2... ALIX SHIFTS HER WEIGHT OVER! 1... 2... KICKOUT! Black T and James Blonde and Faqu are brawling all over ringside, while Zack Malibu and Alix Spezia get it on in the ring. Alix tries to surprise Zack with a DROPKICK, but he SLAPS HER FEET AWAY. He picks Spezia up and kicks her in the midsection, tucking her head between his legs and LIFTS her up in a POWERBOMB position. Alix continues to fight back, pounding Malibu's forehead with right hands! Zack roams around the ring with a women hoisted on his shoulders, a 7-year-old asking his mother why the guy next to him is making sexual suggestions towards the ring. Malibu POWERBOMBS Speiza. But he doesn't let go of his grip, POWERBOMBING her ONCE MORE! He still DOESN'T let go, getting a RUNNING start and POWERB-- NO! Alix counters into a HURRICARANA. 1... 2... 3! COACH YEAH! CABOOSE I saw a shoulder up! Zack got the shoulder up! COLE No he didn't. Zack just got pinned by a girl...AGAIN! * DING DING DING DING * Zack kicks out long after the 3 has been made and throws a big roundhouse right in Alix's direction, but she ducks and sweeps Malibu off his feet, sliding out of the ring immediately afterwards. Outside, James Blonde and Faqu DOUBLE COCONUT Black T's HEADS TOGETHER. They sprint to the other side of the ring, where Alix awaits. All 3 high five as they watch a furious Franchise cuss up a storm in the ring. COLE Yeah, Zack. You lost. Dan and Tony throw a STEEL CHAIR into the ring. Zack picks it up. Black T then join their fellow Original Elite member in the ring with chairs of their own. The threesome stand dead center in the ring, cocking their chairs back, calling for their opponents to come back and fight. Candie stands idle in the corner, and The Original Elite and Malibu's main squeeze boldly taunt the trio that just defeated them, as well as the pleased General Manager of HeldDOWN~!, who stands on the rampway. Clutching the steel chair in one hand, Dan Black urges Buffer to give him the mic, as the former Mystery Eskimo does not look happy. BLACK I have had it...HAD IT...with what's been going on lately. The blatant favortism by that bitch, these little "surprises", the fact that every tag team in the company comes up behind our backs wanting a piece of us...it's bringing me to the boiling point. It's been too much to take, and now we realize what needs to be done. Blonde, Faqu, Alix and Josie eye T.O.E. as Dan tosses the mic over to Tony, who takes it and struts by the ropes. BODY The fact is, people have been getting lucky far too much at the expense of The Original Elite. Far too much for it to be a coincidence. So we've done some soul searching, dug deep, and we've come up with the best possible solution...the ONLY solution...to get this company back in our grasp completely. Body tosses the mic to Zack, who is beet red and fuming over tonight's loss. Malibu takes the mic up, and it appears another insane ramble is coming on... MALIBU It's come down to this, but it didn't have to be this way! You people made it this way! Now we're not responsible for our actions! I'm Zack Malibu god damn it! I'm... BOOM! CONCHAIRTO! CABOOSE WHAT THE HELL!? COLE What the... Black T hit Zack with a Conchairto! Black T have turned on Zack Malibu! But why? Candie's jaw drops in shock, as Malibu flops to the mat, releasing the steel chair that was in his hand and also dropping the mic. Tony Brannigan stomps Malibu in the ring, while Dan Black picks up the mic. BLACK WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE YOU LUNATIC! It's not about WHO you are anymore, it's WHAT you are! You're a liabilty to us, Zack! You're falling from grace and you were going to bring Black T with you, but we weren't about to let it happen! You don't cut it anymore, Zack! You couldn't let go, could you? We were supposed to rule this company but you...YOU PREVENTED US FROM THAT! TONY, keep him down! Keep stomping, keep him down, let him hear this...Zack...this is for your own good Zack. Maybe now you'll realize that you need to get out. There's nothing left for you in this company...in OUR company! You brought this on yourself Zack! Dan heads outside and removes Jivin' J.R.'s belt from around his waist, wrapping it around his fist. Tony holds Zack up so Black can punch Malibu between the eyes with the sharpe metal point of the buckle, opening up a gash on his forehead, the blood oozing out like toothpaste out of the tube. COLE My God, I can't believe this...Zack Malibu is being bludgeoned and bloodied in the ring... COACH Someone's gotta do something! CABOOSE No one's going to do anything, Coach. Josie and company look on, sighing heavily but maintaining their position on the ramp, not eager to help a man who has done nothing but try to cripple all opposition in the last year or so. Candie crouches in the corner, slumping against the turnbuckles with her hands against her cheeks in shock, tears running down her face. COLE Candie doesn't know what to do...but then again, why should we care! CABOOSE Jesus Cole, a man is bleeding to death in the ring and... COLE It's Zack Malibu, Caboose! The same Zack Malibu who tried to end Crystal's career...who ran Sly Sommers out of the company. The same man who... CABOOSE Who kicked your ass, and you hold a grudge? You pussy. Tony shoots Malibu to the ropes and wraps his arms around Malibu's waist as he comes back to him and spins him around, driving him straight into the canvas for the OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE! COACH YO~! Black sits-up Malibu and once again drills the metal point of J.R.'s belt into the forehead of Zack Malibu, his face now a crimson mask. Dan Black continues tenderizing Malibu's forehead with the belt buckle, until Candie wipes the tears off her face with her right hand and jumps his back. COACH GET HIM GIRL~! CABOOSE The only person in the company with balls, and it's a chick. The crowd cheers wildly for Candie efforts. Black struggles for a few moments with Candie, then hoists her up and cradles her neck... BAM! ...PIGGYBACK BLACKOUT (Stunner)! COACH DAYUM~! COLE Damn you! Damn you, you son of a bitch! You gutless coward! She's a defenseless woman. We need help out here! Candie is hurt. CABOOSE Oh, man. It's getting out of control now. "BLACK T SUCKS" "BLACK T SUCKS" The fans begin litter the ring with garbage following the Blackout on Candie, who lies motionless on her back. Zack sees Candie lying on her back, and with every bit of strength he has left, "The Franchise" lunges at Black, SPEARING him to the canvas and drills him with punches -- weak punches because of the beating he has already taken. The crowd actually roars for the act, the first time Malibu has heard anything resembling a cheer in a looooong time! Too weakened to deal with both foes, Malibu can't protect himself as Tony Brannigan grabs one of the many steel chairs in the ring and HAMMERS Malibu ACROSS THE BACK OF THE HEAD with the STEEL CHAIR! A sickening THUD echoing throughout the arena! CABOOSE I can't...I mean Jesus Christ, that's Zack Malibu people! COLE I don't...I mean...this is unbelievable. Dan Black rises back to his feet and along with his partner, Tony Brannigan, throws Zack through the ropes to the outside. Dan and Tony each swipe away plastic cups and Pepsi bottles thrown at them by fans rows back. Black T then hops through the ropes to the outside, still not done with Malibu, as the crowd looks to the back waiting for someone...ANYONE to come to the aid of the former World Champion. Black lifts a weaken Malibu up and RAMS his HEAD into the GUARDRAIL. Black rubs Zack's forehead into the cold steel railing. Zack shoves Black and walks a few steps away from Black T, screaming in pain from the burn of the steel railing across his already busted open forehead. Tony runs down Malibu and RAMS him HEAD-FIRST into the RINGPOST! Malibu drops to his knees and then on his stomach, leaving him to lie in a pool of his own on the protective mats outside the ring. EMTs are currently attending to Candie in the ring, fitting her neck with a brace and being very careful with her. Meanwhile, outside, Black T remove the protective mats ringside, exposing the cold concrete floor. Black T take turns ramming Zack's head into the concrete floor, a pool of blood quickly forming around his head area. Dan Black removes J.R.'s belt from around his fist and WHIPS Malibu's like a governement mule~! It doesn't take long for the welts on Malibu's back to become bloody. Dan signals for Tony to go up to the top. The 6'6", 292 pound strongman climbs on the apron and onto the second turnbuckle as Black tucks Malibu between his thighs. COACH Oh, you don't think... COLE Oh no, not that. Not that! Dan Black lifts Zack up, locking his hands between Malibu's legs. Tony Brannigan dives off the second turnbuckle and driving Zack's feet to the ground as he hands on the arena floor. SPIKE CRADLE PILEDRIVER ON THE CONCRETE FLOOR! "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!" COLE My God, they could've broken his neck. Dan rolls Zack on his stomach and leg scissors his left arm and clamps on a side headlock. HEART OF ICE (Crippler Crossface) applied! Zack is out cold. Tony kicks Malibu in the head with the Heart of Ice stilled applied, the blood dripping on his boots and Black's hands. OAOAST officials rush out from the back. The agents and officials have to pry Black off Malibu. COLE In all my life I have never, EVER seen a person manhandled like that. Tony grabs a microphone. Dan stands next to him after wiping off the blood on his hands on Zack's tights. TONY Zackie, baby, when we sealed the deal to join forces you told us if we crossed you you'd leave us for dead. Well, not to sound like Stephen Joseph and go all biblical, but do unto others before they do unto you. Looks to Black T, the Original Elite, like Planet Malibu just went the way of Krypton. KA-BOOM! Tony slams the microphone on Zack's stomach. Black T leave ringside with their arms raised. COLE Malibu's just...Candie, I... CABOOSE Spit it out, Cole. COLE I can't...we've got...we've got to go. CABOOSE There's still about five min... COLE GOD DAMN IT CLOSE THE SHOW! CLOSE THE DAMN SHOW! Michael Cole slams his headset down and storms off, leaving Caboose and Coach perplexed, and also curious as to the condition of Zack Malibu. A second stretcher has come out, and the EMT's are getting Zack strapped onto it, as Black T turn back to the crowd, standing on the ramp raising their arms in triumph, with an overpowering boo heard in the background, as our show fades to black this evening.

HeldDOWN is presented by OAOAST Entertainment. *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* OAOAST HeldDOWN~! The alt/pop/rock/awful strains of LaLa crank over the TV sets of America, and BOY do I really need to talk with Patty. But there's no time for that! ZERO HOUR is in the books and we've got fallout galore!! The logo puts the exclamation point on the show's opening montage, and we cut to the arena, where fireworks abound!! The cameras sweep the raucous Iowan fans, whooping and hollering, before settling on Sofa Central and Triple C! COLE Welcome, everyone, to HELDDOWN!! Michael Cole with the Coach and Caboose, LIVE for two action-packed hours!! CABOOSE Yeah, this is going to be a great night, and do you know why? COACH No, why? CABOOSE Because of this man. Woke Up This Morning Got Yourself A Gun Mama Always Said You'd Be The Chosen One "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" A chorus of, well, boos greet the OAOAST World Champion, Drek Stone, as he walks out from behidn the curtain. A smug smile on his face, Drek still wears the OAOAST Title with pride, the belt shining, freshly-polished, as it sits on his arm. COLE Drek Stone escaped from Zero Hour by the skin of his teeth. CABOOSE WHAT?! Were you watching the same match that I was, Cole? Drek was dominant. COLE Dominant? It took three people to beat Hoff, and even then it was by disqualification! CABOOSE Please, Cole, who KNOWS what would have happened if all those people hadn't interfered? Wait, I do; Drek would have slapped the figure-four on Hoff and made him tap. COLE Well, that's just it, NO ONE knows what would have happened at Zero Hour, and now we never will. COACH Those guys put on one hell of a match, though. COLE Oh, absolutely. A back-and-forth contest-- CABOOSE I'm sorry, what? "Back and forth?" From WHO, Drek to Drek? Honestly, Drek Stone was a FORCE on Sunday, in Hoff's own hometown, where he took it TO Hoff and came out on top. COLE Right. CABOOSE You damn right it's right. The champ, stylin' to the max, steps into the ring. He looks around the jeering crowd, all smiles, before pounding his chest with his free arm and raising that arm up, much to the crowd's chagrin. Drek laughs as he asks for a mic. DREK Come on, people, give it up. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" DREK Oh, please, don't pretend you're not impressed! You're looking at the greatest World Champion ever -- let it out!! The fans jeer and catcall, leveling some nasty curses and insults at the man in the ring. DREK That's right, let it all out. Now last Sunday, my performance was a thing of beauty. "NO IT WAS-N'T!" *clap*clap*clapclapclap* "NO IT WAS-N'T!" *clap*clap*clapclapclap* COACH Wait, how do you even chant that? CABOOSE In error, Jonathon. You chant that in error. Drek was the MAN on Sunday. And every other day. Drek shakes his head. DREK You KNOW it's true! At Zero Hour I went into a man's hometown. I went behind the enemy lines, and I BEAT the man, right in front of all his friends. "BOOOOOOOOO!!!!" DREK And I so completely dominated the match, I didn't need anyone's help to win. The crowd, shocked by the utter lie, boos Drek mercilessly. COLE WHAT?!? What is he talking about? DREK Oh, sure, I had help. First Chris Stevens came down to put some hurting on that big goon. And then, of course, everyone's favorite forelorn lover, Axel, came down. But I didn't need Chris Stevens, as much as I love him. And I CERTAINLY didn't need Axel's interference. I am the greatest champion in history, and as such, I handled Hoff just fine on my own. "YOU SUCK" "YOU SUCK" "YOU SUCK" "YOU SUCK" DREK I know you people can't possibly believe that anymore. But get it out of your system now, because when I beat Axel at Anglemania, on the greatest stage of all, NOBODY will ever be able to say it again. "BOOOOOOOOOOOO!" And when I.... "YEEEAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!" COLE Wait a minute, what's going on? COACH I don't know!! CABOOSE Is someone coming down the.... COLE IT'S HOFF!! HOFF IS STORMING THE RING!! The cameras cut to Hoff STOMPING down the aisle to a HUGE pop! If looks could kill, Drek Stone would be a dead man, as Hoff stares a dagger through his heart. Drek, meanwhile, backpedals, yelling for Hoff to "STAY BACK!!" Hoff makes it to the ring....and gets GRABBED by security!! "BOOOOOOOOOOO!" CABOOSE Yes. The LAW is here. The fans are between cheers and boos, as walking down the aisle is Josie Baker and several guards. One flanks the GM as she steps into the ring, with Hoff staring up at her from his spot on the apron. Josie asks for a microphone, and one is handed to her as she looks at Drek, then at Hoff. JOSIE All right...let him go. Security lets go of Hoff, who immediately slides into the ring! Hoff starts walking toward Drek Stone, but Josie stops him, grabbing his arm and pulling him away. JOSIE Whoa, whoa there killer. Josie steps between the FURIOUS Hoff and the slightly unsettled champ, pushing them apart. JOSIE All right. Now that we're all here, I have an announcement to make. COLE Ooh, what could it be? JOSIE And this is important....so everyone out there in TV land, listen up! "YEAH!!!!!!!!" COACH This could be huge! What can it be? Josie takes a deep breath before continuing. JOSIE Now. As far as Zero Hour is concerned... Drek grabs his title tight, looking confused and slightly peeved at the GM. JOSIE It would seem that there has been a slight problem. CABOOSE You got that right! Axel ruined Drek's big night! COLE Would you stop. JOSIE And it falls on me to correct what most everyone has called "a great injustice." "YEEEEEAAAHH!!!!" CABOOSE Oh, please. SLAVERY was "a great injustice." COACH Except for LOVE slavery! JOSIE So, myself, Mr. Watts, and the Board have discussed the matter, in hopes of finding the fairest resolution which would also please the fans. "JO-SIE! JO-SIE! JO-SIE!" JOSIE And so, I have a change to announce as it pertains to Anglemania. SHOCK through the crowd, who has no idea what's coming next. JOSIE The proposed Drek Stone vs. Axel World Title match has been changed, to Drek Stone, versus Hoff. "YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! CABOOSE WHAT??!? COLE Oh, yeah!! Drek's mouth drops in shock. Hoff, pleased, smiles and nods. Drek tries to plead his case, but Josie waves him off. JOSIE As I said, Drek Stone, versus Hoff....with the winner defending his title LATER THE SAME EVENING.....AGAINST AXEL. "OMGWTFYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAH-UH~!!!!!!!" CABOOSE No, no, no no no no no. COLE UN-BELEIVABLE!! COACH I can't believe it!! COLE What an amazing turn of events!!! CABOOSE Well, I don't think it's so-- HEY LOOK!! Out of NOWHERE, from behind Hoff, a man slides into the ring....CHRIS STEVENS!! Stevens BLINDSIDES Hoff with a forearm and drops him, POUNCING on the big man and beating on him! The two tussle on the floor, until security finally pulls Stevens away! Josie looks on the brink of mental exhaustion, holding her head as Drek simply looks on blankly, stunned at Josie's previous announcement. JOSIE THAT IS IT!!!!!!!!!! Some of the guards hold Hoff back, as the other guards hold Stevens, the two men desparately trying to get free. JOSIE I am SO SICK of you two!! You know what?! ....NEXT WEEK, YOU, YOU, CAGE MATCH. "HOLYHELLYOUHAVETOBEKIDDINGMETHISISCRAZYOMGOMGOMGYEEEEEEAH!!!!!!!!!" JOSIE You want to beat each other so badly, then here's your chance. Next week. But this has got to stop. I can't take this anymore. Josie looks at a wild-eyed Stevens, an angry Hoff, and a stunned Drek Stone. JOSIE Boys....have a nice night. Security drags Stevens away as Josie heads down the ramp. Hoff makes a move to come after Drek, but the guards hold him back, and the big man relents, eyeing Drek before leaving, to his familiar theme music. After everyone has gone, Drek Stone stands in the middle of the ring. COLE What does he have to be thinking? CABOOSE I can't even imagine. COLE What a mountain for Drek Stone to climb at Anglemania... Drek looks at his title, then a th sea of people at the Iowa State university arena. DREK ....I am the greatest champion of all time. "BOOOOOO!!" DREK And at Anglemania.... Drek again looks at the OAOAST Title belt. DREK I will still be champion. "Woke Up This Morning" plays as the champ tosses down his mic, leaving the ring to a chorus of boos, with a stunned expression on his face. COLE What an unbelievable announcement. Drek Stone in TWO title matches at Anglemania. And Hoff vs. Stevens back in the cage next week!! And we've still got a lot more ahead!! Stay with us! *commercial*

In a world full of posers, phonies, and pure wannabees, there finally emerges a group which has come to set the record straight. so, all you suckers better recognize, ya heard can you say uhhh na na na na... The sell out Iowa State crowd breaks out into a wild pop as strobe lights dance across the now dimly lit arena. Fans move along with the beat while others foist their homemade GPX signs high into the air. COLE The Global Party Xchange beat The Love Doctors, The Saints and finally Black T at Zero Hour to become The Anderson Cup champions and earn the right to face Chicks Over Dicks at Anglemania three! COACH Four, Mikey. Four. Also, we just saw a video of the first and only time those teams wrestled. I don’t think we’ll see the same result at Anglemania! BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen...The Anderson Cup Champions.....THE GLOBAL PARTY EXCHAAAAAANGE! The crew bob their head up and down while they strut down the entrance ramp, their bodies being decorated by the red and green spotlights. Wearing matching red Vokal tracksuits, they slide into the ring and take hold of a microphone! The lights come up and the fans await word from their heros. JOHNNY Iowa State? IS YOU GONNA MAKE SOME NOISE? “YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” JOHNNY Well, alright then. Yo, yo, yo, GPX bout to roll out! SCOTTY Forgot the skeezers in the announce booth, we the real Triple C. Cool. Charismatic. Competitive. Ain't no party like a GPX party! GIVE IT UP, IOWA STIZAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE! The crowd cheers on the boastful warriors. JOHNNY We appreciate the love. See, suckas have been gettin all up in our grill, trying to hate on us since the beginning. But, when you the best, you the best. Got no sense in denying it. Just gotta admit it. GPX is the best. That’s been known for over a year. They be teams that think they better then us, and they be teams that think they worse. No matter what you think, we know we the best, cousin! The fans clap. SCOTTY That’s the real dizzle, ma nizzle. We killers! GPX, the most dominant tag team on the planet! We won the Anderson Cup! Now that be tizight. Scotty’s face suddenly forms an unusual and unexpected frown. SCOTTY And we real happy 'bout winning it, no doubt. Real happy. But..man..I don’t know...maybe I shouldn’t... JOHNNY Just say it, cousin. SCOTTY While we happy....we real pissed too. (Scotty pauses) Cuz we should never been in the thing in the first place. COLE Huh? The crowd is as confused as the awful commentator JOHNNY (Angrily stomping across the ring, words flowing more freely for him then his partner.) We got put in the same tournament as the Fanboiz, The Frankensteiners, and The Saints! Those teams can’t even hold our jocks, son! They ain’t kickin this shiznit off the chain like we is! We put the tag team game on lockdown! We’re running it across country and in the city! Once again, the best tag team alive got put in the same tournament as the Nerdly twins. Gotta run the same race as the Frankensteiners. Man, that don't make nothing about no sense. Here’s what gets me, we lose the tag team titles to The Original Elite, and we don’t get no rematch, no title shot, no nothing, cousin. That be wack, cousin! The Saints got a crack at The Elite before we did! The Saints? They ain’t never done shit! And they ain’t gonna never do shit no neither, cousin! They stink! And then Chicks Over Dicks weasel in our turf and nab a title shot! They ain’t never beat The Midnight Express! They ain’t never won no ladder match! They ain’t never beat The Love Doctors! They ain’t never stole the show at Anglemania III! But we have! Chicks Over Dicks hasn’t even beaten us before! A loud “COD” chant breaks out JOHNNY But when GPX, the team that made the tag division what it be and what it ain’t, tries to get they fair share and get they rematch, they get nothing but the shaft and disrespect from upper management. That’s slim and its shady, cousin. SCOTTY No diggity, Jammer. You think if Sir Charles wanted back in the NBA they’d make him play a few games first with Lincoln Technical Junior High? Naw, sucka! They’d let my man Sir Charles, up in that biz with the quickness! Me and Jam, done won the tournament, no dizoubt about it because that result was never in dizoubt. But when GPX wants a title shot, ya’ll need to give us a title shot! No questions asked! JOHNNY The belts were made for GPX. Every other team that held them just is just renting ‘em out from the true champs. Us. Ain’t nobody gonna compare to the lady lovin, party crashing, pill popping, pot smoking, ‘cane dealing, sex having, Global Party Exchange. Wrestling is our business and business is good! SCOTTY Alix and Krista, ya’ll like housesitters and the tag team belts be our are house. Ya’ll cute housesitters, but the man is the king of the castle and we ready to sit on our throne. So step aside. Those aren't the tag team titles you're wearing. Those are the Global Party Exchange titles. Anything But Me plays leading to the arrival of the tag team champions, Chicks Over Dicks. The girls get a huge ovation from the crowd. One that’s larger then what GPX received during their entrance, which grabs the attention of the former OAOAST Tag Team champions who stare around the arena in amazement. KRISTA Blah, blah, blah, blah. Do you listen to yourselves talk? You aren’t Eminem! You aren’t even Scotty 2 Hotty! Please, shut up. Invest in a muzzle. You both have very foul mouths. Why don’t you try washing them out with a bullet? You make Vince Vaughn’s character in Be Cool look like Eazy E. You make The Coach look like Doctor Dre. You’re not straight out of Compton, you pieces of trash are straight out a trailer. “OOOOOOH!” Goes the crowd. JOHNNY Uh-uh, pigeon! I’m from the Motor City. Detroit. The 3-1-thizird, ya hizeard? Ghett-OH! Motown. D12, Barry Gordy, Aretha Franklin, The Four Tops, The Temptations... KRISTA I’ve got a Temptation to come down to the ring and beat the vanilla out of your ass! “OOOOOOH!” Burning with fury, Johnny leans over the ropes and challenges Krista to come and fight him. SCOTTY Goddang, sister, what went up your tampon? Peep this, chicken head. We run drugs, we run guns, we run the streets and soon we gonna run with the tag team titles! The crowd cheers. CABOOSE (laughs) Only in America would people cheer for running with drugs and guns. KRISTA You white bread clowns are cheesier then a Kraft Factory. You run drugs? Yeah, right. You probably think an 8 ball is something you play pool with. You think Mary Jane is Spider Man’s girlfriend. JOHNNY An 8 ball is something you play pool wit’, ho! KRISTA Alix, you talk to them, I can’t even face them. “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” chant the now standing crowd ALIX Hey this Alix girl is really popular! She’s lucky.....hey! I’m Alix! Wow! I love you to Iowa! I want to have your baby and I want you to feel really guilty about it, so you’ll marry me, and I want you to dump me during the honeymoon so I can go and have hot steamy rebound sex with Oregon and Vermont! Johnny and Scotty, you guys say wrestling is your business? If wrestling is your business then I think you oughta file for chapter 11, because you are bankrupt of any talent! Every time I watch you wrestle I wanna vomit and it’s not just because I’m bulimic. And it’s also not because I just drank a can of motor oil. COACH We can only hope this verbal disrespect will lead to physical disrespect in one of those femdom flicks! ALIX You call yourself the most dominant tag team on the planet? Then you must be wrestling on a different planet then everyone else, because you completely suck. People call the death penalty a cruel and unusual punishment? They’ve never had to watch a GPX match! Watching you wrestle makes a lethal injection look like a day at a spa! Even Helen Keller won’t watch one of your matches. And she’s blind! And dead! And drinks motor oil! Krista takes the microphone from Alix. KRISTA You seem to be under the impression that getting the Anderson Cup got your foot in the door? All it’s gonna get you is a foot in the ass, courtesy of Chicks Over Dicks. The crowd cheers at the throwing down of the gauntlet. KRISTA Oh one more thing, Johnny you’re starting to look flabby. I suggest you pick up my exercise video, Abs with KID, because I wanna see a six pack when I get you in the ring. Alix grabs the microphone back for one last comment ALIX Johnny Jackson, Scotty Static, I have killed men for less then what you’ve done to me! GPX, we are INSANE! WE EQUAL OUT OF CONTROOOOOOL! WE ARE GOING TO KILL YOU! We are going to hijack a spaceship, fly it into that thing above us, space or whatever, crash that ship into a Black Hole sun won’t ya come and wash away the rain, go to an alternate dimension and kill the alternate dimension version of yourselves! Then we're going to eat at Denny’s and maybe we'll watch a little bit of the new season of Punk’d or maybe we'll catch an early bedtime. But rest assured no matter what your plans are we will be killing you! And I'm not Lauryn Hill and she ain't Wyclef Jean, so I sure as hell don't mean killing you softly! The champs wave bye-bye, leaving the number contenders to fume in the ring. COLE The first confrontation between Chicks Over Dicks and Global Party Exchange! COACH Krista’s pretty hip. I think I oughta start running game. BAM! From out of nowhere, The stunningly handsome Ned Blanchard levels Krista with a clothesline! The fans ringout with a rather loud chorus of boos as Simon Singleton blasts a shocked Alix with an axe handle smash! Both women lie on the steel staging, writhing in pain, unable to escape through the storm of stomps that are striking their backs! COLE What is going on here? What do they want? The audience’s jeers increase in it’s noise level as Black T, trailed by Jivin Jr, is spotted running through the stands. Eager fans reach over to touch the despised legends but, are quickly shoved away by imposing security guards who want no repeat of Zero Hour’s riot. In the ring The Global Party Exchange watches The Express devastate the champions. They’re apparently oblivious to the arrival of one of their most detested foes. COLE Turn around fellows! They both follow Cole’s stupid advice and turn around. Surprise and fear litter their youthful faces at the sight of the Angle Award winners, Black T! Tony Brannigan, clad in Armani suit, wastes no time in decimating his young enemies. He plants Jackson with an Out Of Body Experience that leaves the ring looking like it was rocked by an earthquake! Brannigan pops up and sneers into the camera, repulsing viewers worldwide with his complete lack of class. “BLACK T SUCKS! BLACK T SUCKS! BLACK T SUCKS!” In an attempt to defend his partner’s honor, Scotty hits Tony with a clubbing forearm! The blow drops the strongman to his knees and he starts heaving for air. However Static is unable to seize the moment as Black, also attired in Armani, pounces on him with predatory fierceness. The Ice Heart hooks in a full nelson hold, leading Static to flail against the grip! His efforts prove fruitless and Black crushes him with a release full nelson suplex with unerring ease! COACH Revenge for Black T! GPX cheated them out of the Anderson Cup this past Sunday! Black T raise their hands in triumph, while Jivin JR, dressed as Sonic the Hedgehog, dry humps Johnny Jackson. Up on the entrance stage, Simon and Ned stand above the fallen champions, proudly crossing their arms to form an X. The symbol of the Midnight Express. “BOOOOOOO! HISSSSSSS!” COACH I guess I can’t run game tonight! As the various talent clears the ring, Triple C go into shill mode. COLE Folks, Zero Hour was great! COACH Yes it was! CABOOSE Are we killing time? COLE Yes! COACH PRINCE Killings time!! CABOOSE Awful. COLE Okay, we're good. "THREE-TWO-ONE, I'M THE BOMB!" "I'm the Bomb" by the Electric Six ELECTRIFIES the crowd, and they go absolutely wild as Calvin Szechstein emerges through the curtain and onto the ramp, thrusting his arms into the air, four days removed from his victory over the 70's Dude at Zero Hour. The crowd roars, some of them standing up (only to be called "retarded" and "gay" by those around them) as Calvin walks down the ramp, grinning from ear to ear, slapping the hands of the fans before walking up the steps into the ring, where he pauses, holding a microphone in his hand and just basking in the cheers. COLE Folks, nobody deserves these cheers more than Calvin Szechstein, especially after his victory over the 70's Dude at Zero Hour. CABOOSE After the 70's Dude so generously restarted the match, you neglect to mention! Unlike so many men before him, the 70's Dude literally had the match won! Calvin motions in the ring for the fans to calm down, and the fans -- by now eating out of the palm of Szechstein's hand -- oblige, allowing Calvin room to speak. CALVIN Man, does that feel good! "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" The crowd goes nutty, and Szechstein drops his arms and lets the crowd cheer some more. Szechstein looks at the camera and smirks, obviously aware of the fact that he's whoring out to the crowd like never before, but as he raises his arm again it looks like he has a point to be made. CALVIN You guys know, just as well as I do, that I've never been cheered before, but with everybody in the arena behind me I feel like I can do anything, take on anyone. Maybe... THA PUERTO RICAN? "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" CALVIN ZACK MALIBU? "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" CALVIN Even the World Heavyweight Champion himself, DREK STONE? "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" The crowd continues cheering for this one, a brief but noticeable "CAL - VIN! CAL - VIN!" chant starting up, but these cheers die down, and Calvin has room to speak. CALVIN Now that I'm done with the 70's Dude, it looks like it's time to find a victim for Anglemania. Since a few somebodies are tied up, I'll put them on hold for a while, but there is someone I'd like to challenge. So would... Calvin is cut off by the Angletron suddenly opening up on a shot of his dressing room. His singlet is shredded up, laying on the bench and spray-painted purple, green and red. The walls are covered in multicolored paint, the garbage can is tipped over and garbage is all over the floor. Over the psychadelic paint on the walls is a message. "I'M NOT DONE YET." "DUDE." *commercial*

The camera cuts away from whatever scene it was on to find Axel slowly making his way towards the locker room. Much like the past few days, the Dark One is looking completely forlorn -- miserable that Crystal continues to break his heart every chance she has. COACH You just have to feel terrible for Axel at this point. He really is like a broken man. CABOOSE I have to feel bad for him? Excuse me. I don’t feel bad for him. At all. Whatsoever. COLE How the hell could you not? His former lover and lifelong friend just slapped him and demanded he disappear from her life! This has to be heart-wrenching for him. CABOOSE So Axel needs to suck it up! Move on with his life! Guys, give me a call when his testicles drop. Please, let’s go on. Let’s move on with our lives. As Axel walks into the locker room, he lets out a loud sigh and slowly wipes a tear out of his eye. AXEL I don’t understand this. Why now? Looking into a nearby wall mirror, Axel almost seems to be talking to himself. Looking for his image to give him an answer he would never understand anyway. AXEL How could she do this? Doesn’t she understand I love her? Doesn’t she… As Axel interrogates himself, he hears a loud laugh coming from a dark corner of the room. DREK Ha! Oh man, Axel. You are too much. Too much. The crowd instantly recognizes the voice of this man and begin to boo, even before Drek Stone can step out of the shadows with the Heavyweight Title glittering over his shoulder. Axel picks up his head and immediately glares at the champion, trying to use anger to hide any shred of sadness he just had. DREK Oh, please, Axel. Put your head down. Try as you might, you’re not going to fool me. AXEL Drek, this is not the time. I suggest you just walk away now. DREK Walk away? Oh no, I’m not going anywhere, Axel. The Heavyweight Champion starts walking closer to his possible AngleMania opponent, his smile widening with every step. DREK How could I walk away from this train wreck? How could I walk away from this complete and utter joke? Looking to cut his wrists just because some girl decided to dump his ass on the cold streets of Minnesota. Axel, be a man. Drek takes a pause, but then addresses Axel louder. More intensely. DREK DAMMIT, BE A MAN! Axel continues to keep his eyes locked onto Drek, not daring to take his eyes away from his opponent. DREK If Crystal slapping you in the face is enough to take you away from your sanity, you’re going to be easy competition for me at AngleMania. You can’t beat me. Hell, I don’t think you’d be able to beat Hoff for the title. You’ve always been a nothing. A nobody. You’ve been the guy in this federation that nobody gave a damn about. Hoff came in here and rocketed his way to the top. I came in here and rocketed my way to the top. And you just continued to float your way around the midcard. Noone has EVER looked at you as a serious threat before, Axel. Still listening to this verbal barrage, Axel starts cracking his fists together. Eyes brimming with anger. DREK You start to get a few high-profile wins together, and suddenly, you actually think that you’re a threat? You manage to beat Ragdoll and win the Lethal Rumble in a span of two months, and now you think you’re at my level? You think you even DESERVE to be in the Main Event scene?! Let me settle this one for you right now. You don’t deserve a damned thing. You might have some people fooled that you’re a championship-caliber opponent. But you don’t have me fooled. Not when you allow a woman like Crystal to dictate your life. Your moods. Not when you allow a woman like Crystal to force you to mope around. Acting as if your life is about to end. A MAN is needed to hold onto this championship. Underneath your scowling and your gothic clothes, you’re still just a boy. Satisfied with his comments, Drek Stone turns to start and walk away. Suddenly, he feels the gloved hand of Axel clamp down on his shoulder. Hard. In a flash, Drek turns around and PASTES Axel across the head with his Championship belt. The AngleMania title contender falls to the ground with a loud thud as the fans in the arena groan at the despicable actions of the champion. COLE Oh, come on. That was uncalled for. CABOOSE Axel put his hands on the Heavyweight Champion. Axel had what was coming to him. Rather simple concept to understand. As Axel holds his head on the ground, Drek falls to his knees and whispers into the Dark One’s ear. Still grinning. DREK Did you see that? That was something a wrestling scrub would fall for. That was something a boy would fall for. Pushing the gold plate of the title into his possible opponent’s face, Drek’s voice starts to rise with each passing comment. DREK I said it once. I will say it again. You are a boy. You’re a boy that’s more fit to shining my shoes. You are not a man! YOU ARE NOT A MAN THAT COULD BEAT ME FOR MY CHAMPIONSHIP! AND YOU NEVER WILL BE! Pleased with himself, Drek stands back to his feet and smooths out his rather stylish navy-blue suit jacket. He picks the title up off the ground next. Slowly. Somewhat cradling it in his arms. But he doesn’t look done yet with the Dark One. He moves over to to a corner of the room and waits, holding the championship belt in prime position for another attack. COACH Somebody needs to do something to stop this. CABOOSE Yeah, well, it’s a shame Axel has nobody left that actually likes him. As Axel starts to make his way back up, still holding onto his forehead, Drek starts rolling up his sleeves. CABOOSE There we go, my man. Wouldn’t want to get any black mascara on your nice suit. COLE Agreed. The stains are impossible! Once Axel makes it to a standing position, the crowd starts screaming, knowing what’s coming next. Their screams are powerless to actually stop anything though. As Axel turns around dizzily, Drek charges forward with the Heavyweight belt -- -- AND GETS TACKLED DOWN BY HOFF!! “YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” COACH WHOA! CABOOSE Where the hell did he come from?! Hasn’t he ruined Drek’s night enough already?! The crowd roars as Hoff gets on top of Drek’s chest and starts peppering him with hard shots to the forehead. Drek tries fighting his way out of the predicament, but Hoff is unrelenting. He simply continues to hit the Heavyweight Champion with nasty forearms to the upper body. CABOOSE Come on! This can’t be allowed! Somebody stop this! COLE But hitting someone in the face with the title belt CAN be allowed?! CABOOSE The gold belt gives it a sense of prestige! This is thuggery at its finest! As Hoff maintains his assault on the champion, four security officials finally run into the room. In a collective effort, they grab Hoff by his arms and pry him away from Drek Stone, using a great deal of strength to just keep the other AngleMania top contender from running away from them. As Hoff is sidetracked with the officials, Drek scoops up his title and dashes for the door. Once he gets there, he turns around to address his unsuccessful Zero Hour opponent. DREK This didn’t involve you, Hoff! KEEP YOURSELF OUT OF IT! You’ll get enough of me at AngleMania in a title shot you don’t deserve! So I suggest you STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME UNTIL THEN! With a final burst of defiance, Drek walks away from the locker room and slams the door behind him. The security officials immediately run after him, wanting to at least make sure the Heavyweight Champion doesn’t get attacked again. This leaves Hoff and Axel alone. As Hoff keeps his attention focused on the door, dreaming of getting his hands around the throat of the OAOAST Champion, Axel focuses his attention instead on the Minnesota hero. AXEL …..so you think you’re going to interfere in my title shot now? Almost taken aback, Hoff turns his glance to Axel with a surprised expression. Axel, somewhat bolder, moves closer to Hoff. Wanting to make sure every word he says is heard. HOFF Excuse me? AXEL You heard me. HOFF Hey Axel, listen to this. And listen good. AngleMania isn’t going to be about your ego. This is for the Heavyweight Title. And friends or not, I’m doing every last damned thing in my body to make sure I walk away with the gold that rightfully belongs to me. With a passionate scream, Axel punches the locker next to him. The echoing “CLANG!” of steel on flesh is loud enough to even startle Hoff for a moment. AXEL It wasn’t enough for you to try and yank the spotlight at Zero Hour. Now you’re doing it again. By stepping on my turf at AngleMania. Well, let me make something to clear to you right now. Forget all the problems I’m having with Crystal. I’m coming strong. And if that means I’m coming for you….so be it. Swiping the hair out of his eyes, Hoff moves closer to Axel until the two are standing nose-to-nose. HOFF If you really believe that, you better get yourself together. Because as it stands now -- you won’t be competiton for either one of us. Axel’s eyes widen at the audacity of Hoff’s comment, but he keeps them focused on his fellow title contender. HOFF Understand? With fire in his eyes, Axel keeps his stare locked onto Hoff. But Hoff simply returns the stare. Neither man blinking. Neither man smiling. Just intensity all around. The cameras cut to Michael Cole.... Michael Cole stands lonely atop the INTERVIEW STAGE near the rampway. His backed turned to the fans, we see many of the homemade signs and a clear shot of the ring in the background. COLE Ladies and gentlemen, would you please welcome my guests at this time...Jim Cornette and the New New Midnight Express. A very exuberant James E. Cornette and New New Midnight Express are greeted by the sound of boos as they walk out onto the rampway, their theme song Chase playing. In a green jacket that resembles one that is won at the PGA's Masters tournament, Jim Cornette leads his men up the steps located at the bottom of the interview stage. Sarcastic Simon is wearing a black t-shirt and sweats, a shirtless Narcissistic Ned in blue jean shorts. SARCASTIC SIMON (singing) Reunited and it feels so good! Cornette and The Midnights laugh hysterically. Michael Cole is utterly disgusted by the 3 men's celebratory mood. CORNETTE You don't look like you're pleased to see us out here, Michael Cole. But I don't care, brother, because I have a few things I'd like to get off my chest. So just this there and hold the mic while I talk. COLE Let's address some of the things you'd like to get off your chest. Everybody saw the heinous actions that took place during the six-person tag team match at Zero Hour, and my question to you is how could you play with the lives of so many people? Synth Esizer is currently resting at home recovering from a concussion and broken arm sustained at Zero Hour, Logan is battered and brusied and Holly-Wood needed 5 stitches on top of her head to close a cut opened up from the tennis racket shot by Narcissistic Ned, the man who claimed to love her. NARCISSISTIC NED I did love her, Cole...loved to beat her! Holly, Holly, Holly. You fell for it. You ALL fell for it. Think about it, girlfriend, with my body I could have any girl I wanted but I wanted you. No matter how hard you tried to pretend you didn't like, honey bunny -- turning down my advances and all -- the truth is...you did! But you kept playing games with my heart, and then it hit me like an SUV filled with a bunch of crash test dummies crashing into a brick wall, you love another "man" -- Logan Mann! The sold out crowd CHEER the mentioning of the lead vocalist of The Saints. NARCISSISTIC NED As you can hear, the brother can't sing but he's popular. So, Holly, you can only imagine how gratifying it was for me when I screwed your brains out with Jimmy's tennis racket. I swear, it was better than the sex we could've had. Narcissistic Ned, Sarcastic Simon and Jim Cornette all laugh. Michael Cole sicken by the remark. CORNETTE Right now, I'm gonna give all these morons in attendence a rare glimpse into the mind of a genius such as James E. Cornette, Michael Cole. Horrible music sells. Britney Spears? Horrible music. Beyonce? Horrible music, not to mention overrated and dating a guy who also makes horrible music. The woman who sings the HeldDOWN~! theme song, Ashlee Simpson? Horrible music. Why do I mention those people? Because these so-called "musicans" make billions of dollars off gullible fans who pay to buy their CDs or see them in concert, just like The Saints. When Synth and Logan signed a contract with Jim Cornette Enterprises I hoped they read the fine print because it stated that after 60 days all of their assets would become property of J.C.E. As you know, they signed the contract in December 2004 and we're now in March 2005, way beyond 60 days. Therefore, I stand before you today as the owner of The Saints! Effective immediately they can no longer use the name "The Saints" or "Synth Esizer" without facing legal reprecussion from my legal team. COLE Jim Cornette, how could you?! Not only have you broken Synth's-- CORNETTE Uh, I believe you mean Tiffany Ruutu. Synth Esizer is the property of Jim Cornette Enterprises. COLE Not only did you break a man's arm, but you have broken the hearts of Saints fans around the world by taking away their identity. CORNETTE That's $5,000 for using The Saints without the expressed written consent of Jim Cornette and J.C.E. COLE I don't have that kind of money. CORNETTE That's okay, Michael. I'll just tell Parker Posey in the back to forward all your checks to me until you're paid off. See? Aren't I a good guy? COLE No, because you don't have a heart. SIMON Of course Jimmy has a heart. Otherwise he'd be 6 feet under not right here with us. Perhaps all the artists formerly known as The Saints fans can give Tiffany a hand. Get it? A hand. (laughs) Hey Tiff, does it hurt? Huh? Does it hurt? I bet it does. COLE It was you who paid the Midnight Express to cost The S-- who paid the Midnight Express to run-in during the New New Midnight Express match at Anglepalooza. That's why you weren't ringside, because you wanted an alibi. You guys disgust me. That's so down and dirty. CORNETTE Down and dirty? That's exactly what the wrestling business has become Michael Cole. Over the course of the last 10 years, professional wrestling has been raped of its dignity. It's kinda hard to tell if you're watching wrestling or a variety show with wrestlers nowadays because I damn sure don't see any wrestling. It all started with a garbage promotion that ran out of a bingo hall in South Philadelphia... "E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB!" CORNETTE (CONT'D) ...and spread to the WWF under some hack writer who once called "Nature Boy" Ric Flair, the greatest wrestler I've ever personally seen, a piece of shit under his shoe. As it turns out, he was the piece of you-know-what and now he talks to Jesus. You see, one of the reasons I brought the New New Midnight Express to the OAOAST rather than some other federation was because the OAOAST is the King of misfits and outcasts. Where else can you see a flying robot and a helluva wrestling match under the same roof? That brings me to some comments made by those bimbos, who unfortunately happen to be the OAOAST World Tag Team champions, Chicks Over Dicks. Here you have an un-American feminist/single mother Jane Fonda wannabe and her glue-sniffing, brain dead bulimic tag team partner Alix Spezia, who made some ridiculous comments Sunday night concerning the legendary Arn Anderson. Lemme tell you two disgraces to the wrestling business something. Arn Anderson is a legend in this sport, a man who has done more for this business then you two ever will. Arn Anderson is a man who gave his heart and soul to this business, now he's left with nevere damage in his left hand for the rest of his life. You two can't even walk and chew bubble gum at the same time, let alone wrestle. But to confuse him with an child molster from Spezia's past and make fun of the most feared and successful stable in wrestling history -- the 4 Horsemen -- is a joke. On behalf of Sarcastic Simon and Narcissistic Ned, let me inform you that we're not gonna have any of it! Count your blessings, because if the New New Midnight Express ever get their hands around your pretty little faces General Hospital will place you in the same room with Holly-Wood. COLE Speaking of Holly-Wood, what about your actions towards the OAOAST Women's Champion Holly-Wood? CORNETTE You see the green jacket I'm wearing, Michael Cole? It's one of the jackets Tiger Woods won at the Masters, which he personally gave me. Augusta, the most prestigious club in the country, doesn't allow females in their tournaments and this past Sunday night that jezebel Holly-Wood found out she doesn't belong in the wrestling ring. A man's domain. SIMON You the master of your domain. CORNETTE (smiling) I...I guess I am, ain't I? A ROAR from the crowd. Cornette and The Midnights look over their shoulder and see LOGAN "USHER" MANN standing behind them with a STEEL CHAIR! BOOM! Sarcastic Simon falls off the stage after being hammered from behind with the chair. Narcissistic Ned and Jim Cornette jump off the stage and run to the ring, Mann sprinting right behind him. Narcissistic Ned slides in and out of the ring, leaping over the guardrail and hiding in the crowd while Jim Cornette climbs up the ring steps and trips over the bottom rope as he enters the ring. He drops to his knees and begs as Logan joins him inside, a sinister look in his eye. Mann wants some payback for want happen at Zero Hour. Cornette pleds with the crowd to stop cheering so the adreanline in the arena doesn't carry over to Mann, who has the chair cocked back. Just as he swings SARCASTIC SIMON pulls the chair out of Mann's hands. Logan turns around and kicks Singleton in the midsection. Front facelock...PERCUSSION (DDT)! As Mann returns to his feet, he's turned inside-out by a RUNNING CLOTHESLINE courtesy of Narcissistic Ned. COLE Get officials out here now! Logan is down, and he's in the ring with 3 men. The crowd goes WILD as HOLLY-WOOD runs out from the back! She immediately goes after Narcissistic Ned but Jim Cornette tackles her legs, stopping her in her tracks. Holly clubbers the back of Jim Cornette with forearms, trying to break loose. She turns her head towards Narcissistic Ned. ROUNDHOUSE KICK TO THE RIGHT TEMPLE. COLE How dare he! What a low life sonuvabitch Narcissistic Ned Blanchard is! Holly flops face-first to the canvas. The crowd absolutely livid by Narcissistic Ned's actions. Cornette pulls out a pair of HANDCUFFS and hands them to Sarcastic Simon. Singleton cuffs Holly to the top rope. Narcissistic Ned slaps Holly twice to bring her back to her senses. "Watch what I do to your boyfriend," he says. Blanchard brings Mann back to his feet and front facelocks him, the prelude to the Slingshot Suplex. Blanchard lifts Mann up, but Logan slaps him in the gut, causing Narcissistic Ned to drop Mann back to his feet. A wicked left hook to the jaw 360s Narcissistic Ned in the air. Mann falls on top of Blanchard and pounds his fists into Narcissistic Ned's forehead. A "LOGAN" chants picks up. Unfortunately for Logan, he's too caught up in the moment and completely forgets about Sarcastic Simon. Singleton catches the TENNIS RACKET thrown to him by Jim Cornette and WHACKS IT ACROSS THE BACK of Logan "Usher" Mann. Logan bends backwards from the sting of the blow, allowing Sarcastic Simon a clear shot to JAM THE HANDLE OF THE RACKET INTO MANN'S THROAT! COLE Oh, my God! COACH Help! He needs help! Logan rolls around the ring in obvious pain, clutching his throat. Holly kicks her feet up in the air, but she can't do much because she's cuffed to the ropes. Sarcastic Simon and Narcissistic Ned stomp Mann as they bring him back to his feet and whip him across the ring. They each grab a leg as he bounces back towards them and elevate him in the air, dropping him THROAT-FIRST ACROSS THE TOP ROPE! A DOUBLE-TEAM STUN GUN FLAPJACK! OAOAST officials along with EMTs come out to the ring. Jim Cornette hits the officials who try to enter the ring with the racket and swings at those who jump on the apron. Narcissistic Ned locks a BEAR HUG on Logan and slides him down, exposing his upper body, as Sarcastic Simon climbs to the top rope. Cornette places the RACKET across the THROAT of Mann. Singleton flies off the top with a GUILLOTINE LEGDROP, crashing all his and the tennis racket's weight down across the THROAT of Logan "Usher" Mann. THE VEGOMATIC! CABOOSE Why is it call the Vegomatic? COLE & COACH Because it slices and dices. EMTs are finally allowed into the ring. Logan lies in a fetal position, holding his throat. OAOAST officials try to usher Cornette and his men out. Narcissistic Ned shoves a couple of officials as he heads for Holly. He pulls a COMPACT out of his pocket and-- no, Jim Cornette stops him and points to himself. COLE What is this? Does he have a whole kit of make-up on him or what? Come on, leave her alone damnit! Blanchard hands the compact to James E. Cornette, with a smug grin on his face, POWDERS Holly's face completely white. Sarcastic Simon hands him LIPSTICK and Cornette draws all over Holly-Wood's face, leaving her beautiful face a total mess. CABOOSE I've never been with a French whore before, but I'd imagine that's how one looks. Narcissistic Ned gets right in Holly's face and stares into her eyes. NARCISSISTIC NED Love hurts. And with that Narcissistic Ned Blanchard, Sarcastic Simon Singleton and Jim Cornette --reunited once again -- exit the ring escorted by officials and to a round of boos. They pass TWO EMTS bringing a STRETCHER to the ring. A POLICE OFFICER uncuffs Holly from the top rope and she falls on her knees near Logan. We cut to Narcissistic Ned watching on the AngleTron. He once again mutters "Love hurts" as we go to... *commercial*

Unknown guitar riffs blare through the arena as the lights dim to any eerie blue. I’ve exposed your lies, baby And underneath no big surprise Now it’s time for changing and cleansing everything To forget your love. Pyro explodes as the arena’s lights come back to life. In the midst of the smoke from the explosion, Crystal emerges! As “Plug In Baby” by Muse continues, there is a stoic look on her face. The arena is silent, unsure how to react to Crystal and her actions from Zero Hour. COLE Well, hopefully we get some sort of explanation about the heinous acts from Crystal at Zero Hour. CABOOSE What’s there to explain? She kicked Axel’s sorry ass to the curb and made him go crazy. That was the first time in the nearly two years she’s been here that I had any form of respect for her. Crystal grabs the house mic and looks at the crowd with no emotion. CRYSTAL Like the new theme song? Because personally, I feel it’s very appropriate. Last night, at Zero Hour, I exposed Axel’s lies. Believe me folks, what I did was not a spur of the moment decision. No, no, no. It was the climax of every single time Axel betrayed me. HE betrayed ME! I just returned the favour! COLE Oh, come on! CRYSTAL He eliminated me from the Rumble! He booted me god knows how many times! Not only here on HeldDown, but on numerous live events around the country. How many times can that happen before it’s not an accident anymore? I tried to forgive and forget, I did! God knows I did it numerous times in the past. Need I remind you of how Axel manipulated me before we were in OAOAST? I forgave him for all those sins. Hell, I forgave him for downright stalking me! I did the impossible; I gave him a chance at true love. And what does he do? Screw it up, like he always does. How dare he betray me! How dare you treat me like a doormat Axel, thinking that I’d just forgive and forget just like a good little picture perfect girlfriend. “BOOOOO!” CRYSTAL Boo all you want, but it’s true. Take off the blinders and see Axel for who he is. I’m sick of just being expected to be perfect. I’m sick of being a role model! Why do I have to base my actions of what you people and the people in the back think and react to? I’m a real person who deserves to have real emotions! There is only so much smiling I can do for you people! Axel had what was coming, and he got it in spades. But of course, I’m the bad guy here. “QUIT YOUR WHINING!” * Clap clap clapclapclap* “QUIT YOUR WHINING!” * Clap clap clapclapclap* “QUIT YOUR WHINING!” * Clap clap clapclapclap* CRYSTAL Whining? Oh, I get it. Maybe you are all just upset that there isn’t a couple you can look up to and compare your sorry excuse of a relationship to. Or maybe you parents are upset that your precious children don’t have a role model anymore in Crystal. (points to a mother with her young daughter with her) Now whoever will little Suzy aspire to be? Sorry if I’m forcing you to actually raise your own kid without the handy help of happy-go-lucky Crystal. Hell, maybe you can center your lives around another person who doesn’t mind selling their soul and ignoring who the truly are to be the perfect role model. Come to think of it, I was a corporate whore. Remember Totally Endorsed? They had nothing on me, except at least they got money out of what they did. What did I get? Your cheers and support, which disappeared right when I didn’t fit your mold of perfection? “QUIT YOUR WHINING!” * Clap clap clapclapclap* “QUIT YOUR WHINING!” * Clap clap clapclapclap* “QUIT YOUR WHINING!” * Clap clap clapclapclap* CRYSTAL Your creativity astounds me, I must say. Crystal rolls her eyes as she heads to Sofa Central. CRYSTAL Hey Coach, do you mind telling me the match lineup from Zero Hour? Just curious. COACH (taking the microphone from Crystal) …okay. Hells Hitmen pinned the Love Doctors, The New New Midnight Express and Holly faced Cornette and the Saints, Panther faced PRL, Black T faced GPX, Zack Malibu vs. Josie, Leon Rodez was against Chris Stevens, That 70’s Dude faced Calvin, Hoff faced Drek Stone for the OAOAST Title and, uh… CRYSTAL My precious ex-flame faced Cappa. Now Coach, do you know what household name is missing from that list? COACH Uh, you? CRYSTAL That’s right, me! And how could that be? How could the former OAOAST champion be left off the card? How could the only female to be worth a damn in this company be left off? How could the Female freaking Phenom not even be in the opening match? Because of her so-called loving boyfriend. COLE What?!? That’s ridiculous! CABOOSE Hey, let the lady explain herself! COACH Since when do you refer to Crystal as a lady? CABOOSE Since she became one on Sunday. COLE By betraying her boyfriend and the fans? CABOOSE Yes, she showed that a girl doesn’t need a man. I’m appalled that she’s getting booed, to tell the truth! COLE Oh, please. CRYSTAL (waiting for the booing crowd to silent) That’s right! What’s happened since I’ve been going out with Axel? I was thrust out of the spotlight! It was all about him! He USED me to get to the top. Ever since our days in Detroit, he’s resented me for being more popular and successful than him. So what does he do? Lure me in, just to overshadow me! “BULLSHIT!” “BULLSHIT!” “BULLSHIT!” CRYSTAL Yeah, you're right...it is. I'm being portrayed as the bad guy here! Let me reiterate this to you thick headed morons: HE. BETRAYED. ME! Axel betrayed— “YEAH!” The familiar cords of “Down With the Sickness” sound as AXEL storms down the ramp. He slides in the ring and never takes his eyes off of Crystal. AXEL (without the microphone) How can you believe all that? I love you! CRYSTAL (still with the microphone) LOVE ME? You call acting on your deep seeded jealousy LOVE? How could I love such a screwed up person? How could I love someone trying to ruin me? AXEL (looking up with tears in his eyes and taking the microphone) I can change. I’d do anything for you Crystal. SLAP! CRYSTAL Anything? ANYTHING? Then stay the hell out of my life and don’t poison me. Crystal moves to leave the ring....but Axel GRABS HER BY THE HAIR!! The fans COME ALIVE!! COLE Oh my! Axel is going to blow!! Axel cocks his fist back and Crystal braces for the impact....but Axel can't do it. He can't follow through. Axel's eyes drop to the floor as he lets go of Crystal. "BOOOOOOOOO" COACH Dayum. He just can't hit her. Crystal looks at Axel, smiling...and BLOWS HIM A KISS to a chorus of boos. Laughing to herself, Crystal slips out of the ring to a chorus of boos while leaving a heartbroken Axel in the ring. Axel, in a scene reminiscent to Zero Hour, again falls to his knees, crying. COLE Axel....he's a broken man. CABOOSE It's sad. And pathetic. COACH Caboose, come on. CABOOSE Whatever. COLE I understand we now have some EXCLUSIVE - COACH Well who else would be showing it? COLE -footage from the locker rooms post Zero Hour! CABOOSE So what's that, Minus Hour? Cut to a camera entering the locker rooms. We hear manic laughter, smashing - spanking? The camera turns into the main part of the room. Hell's Hitmen, new HIYAH tag champs, are having a victory party. Various strange looking men and women are slumped around the room, sweaty and wearing very little. The room is filling with an eerie pale mist. JINGUS is drinking something red and bubbling from a huge goblet. Sadist is being spanked on the behind with one of the HIYAH belts by a 6ft woman in leather mask and matching underwear. JINGUS Aaaah, I wondered when you guys would be by...Wanting a few words from the new champs, right? The camera nods shakily. JINGUS Well. It was easy. Pitifully easy. The good Doctors proved that they were out of their depth, out of their league - hell, out of their minds to accept our challenge. SADIST Ooo...aaaah....mmm.... JINGUS My colleague indicates he is also pleased with our victory. And at last, we have reward for all the pain and suffering the OAOAST has wrought upon us. At last, we are champions. And soon, double champions. Those pathetic women...*growls*...that hold the OAOAST tag titles...you may have smart mouths, ladies, and somehow you managed to beat the Hitmen before. But we will come for your belts. And maybe, just maybe, Sadist will let you paddle him with them too, after we crush you like the dirty wh-bleep!-s you are. JINGUS takes another swig of his bizarre beverage as the camera backs nervously away. And we cut to - The Love Doctors. Out in the parking lot, Max Anderson, holding his neck, opens the door to the Doc's car. He sees the camera. MAX Oh, guys, we're really not in the mood for promos, could you - Steven Pigley appears behind Max. STEVE No, Max, this is a great time for a promo. Perfect time. We can let the world know that what the Hitmen did to us tonight, it was a fluke! A joke! C'mon, we're the Love Doctors! The best. The sexiest. The coolest. And- MAX (annoyed) Steve, you don't get it? Really? Still? *sighs* We could have been killed out there tonight. We didn't prepare, train, have a strategy - we were lucky only to lose the titles. Our attitude - STEVE What the hell's the matter with you? Where's the real Max? I don't want to talk to this loser. MAX Steve, be reasonable, can't you see - STEVE I guess I'll get my own ride home. MAX Fine. Call me when you realise what's happened to us. Pigley looks at Dr. Anderson strangely, and walks away into the night.

COLE Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce the newest member of the OaOast. He stands six feet, five inches and weighs in at 298 pounds. He is billed as the Beast of Boise; ladies and gentlemen, Prince Killings! An Ode to Killings plays on the sound system as Prince, clad in a grey suit and dark sunglasses, steps through the curtain and onto the stage. He doesn’t get much of a reaction, since people don’t really know what this guy is about. He barely acknowledges the crowd as he walks down the aisle towards the ring. COACH To tell you the truth folks, I have no idea about this Prince Killings. I heard that he only signed with the OaOast just last week, and we really haven’t had a chance to meet him. CABOOSE Actually, he gave me a ride to the arena in his stretch limo today. He’s an interesting guy; has more contempt for the fans as I do, which is a LOT. He said he’s trained for three months for this “role”, as he calls it, which probably puts him above half the roster. Hopefully Cole asks him a stupid question, not a stretch the way he does interviews, and Prince puts him in traction. Prince walks up the steps and steps through the ropes, looking around at the crowd, who still mainly sit on their hands. Cole extends his hand, but Prince remains stoic, causing Cole to awkwardly get on with the interview. COLE Well, welcome to HeldDown Mr. Killings. First, I’d like to ask you what brings you here to the OaOast? KILLINGS ….That’s the best question you could think up to start this introduction Michael Mole? COLE Er….it’s Cole. Michael Cole. KILLINGS Wasn’t I just speaking? Are you going to just stand there and keep interrupting me during my time? Killings rips the mic away from Cole’s hand. KILLINGS In fact, I don’t even think you deserve to speak to a man of my caliber, so why don’t be a good American and go sit back down over there with Carlton and Benny Hill? Boos are heard as Cole meekly steps through the ropes and hops off the apron (though some fans cheer at Cole’s bitchslapping). Caboose can’t stifle a laugh as Cole sits back down at Sofa Central and dons his headset. CABOOSE Great job, Mole. In the ring, Killings looks around the arena, not even removing his sunglasses. KILLINGS Now, since he asked nicely, I’ll tell you why I came here. It’s the reason anyone gets into show business: money and fame. This place offered me the most, so I took it. And why not? I will soon be the hottest thing this place has ever seen, once I show everyone what I can do. You saw my teaser at Zero Hour, didn’t you? That had action, drama, suspense….everything that a great actor like me can provide to even the worst roles. Which is why I took the lowest role I could possibly take…..being a professional wrestler. Killings finally gets some big boos with that comment. KILLINGS What? It’s true. All professional wrestlers are glorified stuntmen fake hitting each other…what else could it be? Sure, I watched the pay per view from my skybox, the only way I was going to come to a dump like Minneapolis, and it was simple, dumb entertainment. Watching Axel cry like a little girl after the woman he loves violently attacks him? What a performance. Of course, the way he acted later in the night against that Drek fellow was a little over the top. This place is full of people that couldn’t cut it in REAL acting roles, so they gather here and fool themselves and everyone that watches them into thinking this is some sort of “athletic exhibition.” More boos from the crowd. COLE The nerve of this guy. He’s completely slamming everything we stand for. Where does he get off? KILLINGS I know, I know, you’re probably asking yourself right now “If he hates wrestling so much, why is he here?” Ever hear of the saying “To reach the top of the ladder, you have to start at the bottom rung”? Well, THIS is no question the bottom rung of the ladder, a pseudo-sport watched by dumb rednecks and people too stupid to find anything better to watch. A “you suck” chant breaks out, but Killings just chuckles and shakes his head. KILLINGS You know I’m right. Don’t worry, once I prove that I am head and shoulders above anyone else in this place, movie studios all over Hollywood will see my ability of making total crap into box office gold and the offers will start rolling in. Then, I can just tell this place to kiss my ass and move on to a REAL career. Zack Malibu thinks he’s the Franchise around here? Well cousin…. Killings pauses to slowly remove his sunglasses and gives a cold, hard stare into the camera. …..take a look at the New…..Big…..Thing. Killings drops the mic and his music begins again. He looks in contempt at the fans before he steps through the ropes. He walks straight up the aisle to the back; not even acknowledging the fans boos and catcalls. COACH Well….that was interesting. He might have succeeded in pissing off every single person in the OaOast in a 5 minute span. CABOOSE I’m even a little ticked at this wanker. Hell, I put my blood, sweat and tears into this business, and this guy just pissed all over it. I’m thinking that this Killings fellow is going to have a lot of guys wanting a piece of his ass and show him how much a fall from the bottom rung will hurt. COLE Wow Caboose, I actually agree with you there. CABOOSE Shut up, Mole. The camera cuts backstage to The Lightning Crew dressing room. Stephen Joseph Popick is pouring himself a glass of whiskey. The Lightning Crew are all bored out of their mind, while PRL stands next to his manager. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK A Steel Cage Match? Josie put you in a Steel Cage Match? This is just another example of the OAOAST screwing us over. Putting you in a Steel Cage with that ruthless Panther. After what happened at Zero Hour? He should be locked up in jail for hitting that fan in the face with that chair. My God, he made the OAOAST look bad! First they don't give you a World Title shot, now this! The OAOAST Board Of Directors is out to get you, PR. The only way you'll get anywhere is if you stick with me! THA PUERTO RICAN I think I can take him, Popick. I know I can beat Panther. What happened last Sunday was Panther's way of preventing the inevitable from happening. Honestly, if that match ended fair and square, I would have defeated Panther one, two, three in the middle of the ring. POPICK I like the way you think, my young proteage. But the fact is, you can't compete in this match. Panther is too wild in that kind of enviroment. It would be crazy of you to go into that match. Without me, Panther will chew you up and spit you out! PRL Popick, I think you are underestimating my abilities. I am equal to Panther. Panther's good, but I can take him. It doesn't matter if I face Panther one-on-one, in a Ladder Match, in a Steel Cage Match, in a Hell In A Cell Match, in an Inferno Match, in a Stairway To Hell Match, in a Iron Man Match, in a Spank The Monkey Match, in a Who Can Piss The Farthest Match. Hell, even in a Bra And Panties Match if need be. The end result will always be the same: I am on top, Panther is lying on the mat! POPICK PRL, what you are thinking of doing is suicide! You are not capable of fighting in a Steel Cage Match! You've only been in one Steel Cage Match in your OAOAST career, and you ended up getting electrocuted, thrown into thumbtacks, and thrown through the announcer's table from 20 feet in the air! You can't do this match! It is not healthy! Your career could end! PRL You don't understand, I HAVE to be in this match! Panther needs to be punished for what he did to me at Anglepalooza. And I will be the man to do it! He needs to realize that when you mess with Tha Puerto Rican, you will be staring at the lights, dazed and defeated. POPICK P.R., please, listen to me-- PRL NO YOU LISTEN TO ME!!! "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican grabs Popick and shoves him against a wall, knocking his drink from his hands. Popick's glasses hang from his ears, a look of fear on his face, a look of anger on PRL's. PRL holds Popick against the wall. TPR NOBODY, BUT NOBODY, TELLS ME WHAT I CAN AND CANNOT DO!!! YOU DON'T GET IT DO YOU?!!! I want to become OAOAST World Champion. I NEED to become OAOAST World Champion! Ever since I first laid eyes on the belt, I've wanted it! And I had a chance. I had a chance at Anglepalooza. I had a chance if I had won the Lethal Rumble. It was all mine. It could have been mine. That #1 Contendership that Axel has, could. Have. Been. MINE. But then Panther. Then he came...then he came and...and...and he eliminated me! HE ELIMINATED ME! PANTHER TOOK AWAY MY DREAM! HE TOOK AWAY MY DESTINY! IT WAS MINE, BUT PANTHER RUINED IT!!! At this point, tears start filling up in PRL's eyes. He is breaking down as he speaks. Popick and The LC look on, their mouths wide open. TPR Panther is going to pay. HE IS GOING TO PAY! He took away my dream? Well, I am going to take away his CAREER! Since Panther took away the one shot I had at getting what I most desired, I'm going to punish him the only way I know how: BY CRIPPLING HIM! I am going to bloody him, I am going to beat him, I am going to CRIPPLE HIM! At AngleMania IV, you will bear witness to the last night of Panther's career. When it is all said and done, I will be the one whose arms get raise. And Panther? Panther will be lying on the mat, bloodied, unconcious, and beaten. Panther will be just another example of what happens when you piss Tha Puerto Rican off. And then, I will have gotten my revenge on Panther for eliminating me. Then, I can sleep easily. Then I could move on. At AngleMania IV: The Classiest AngleMania Ever, you will see a barbaric, brtual, ruthless, bloody, disgusting, brawl the likes of which Atlantic City has never seen. "Rage In The Cage"? That only begins to describe the Steel Cage Match at AngleMania IV. Popick, at AngleMania IV, the millions and millions of P.R. fans will know that I AM THE BEST DAMN OAOAST SUPERSTAR EVER when Panther suffers a CORPORATE NIGHTMARE! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! MR. BORICUA! MR BORICUA Hmmmph! THA PUERTO RICAN Carry me out of the room. MR BORICUA Hmmph! YES. SIR! Tha Puerto Rican lets go of Popick, and hops on Mr. Boricua's back. PUERTO RICAN To the catering area! Mr. Boricua piggyback rides Tha Puerto Rican out of the room. Popick and The Lightning Crew just stare at the door, with their mouths open. Some of the crowd is laughing, while some small "P.R.! P.R.! P.R.! P.R.!" chants break out. The rest of the crowd is booing. The camera does a close-up of Popick smiling a sinister smile, and then fades to black. *commercial*

*GOOOOONG!* "YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" "GET DOWN, GET DOWN! GET DOWN, GET DOWN! GET DOWN, GET DOWN! GET DOWN, GET DOWN! GET DOWN, GET DOWN! GET DOWN, GET DOWN! GET DOWN, GET DOWN! GET DOWN, GET DOWN!" We're back on tha Haitch Dee, with the X-Division Champion emerging through the curtains to a huge pop from the crowd. Rodez, limping slightly, smiles as he soaks up the reaction he's getting for a moment. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your following contest is scheduled for one fall...and it is for the OAOAST X-Division Championship. Introducing first, the reigning X-Division Champion! From Grand Rapids, Michigan. He weighs two hundred and twenty eight pounds...."SILKY SMOOOOOOOOTTTHHHH!!!" LLLEEEEEOOOONN RRRRROOOODDEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!!! "YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" The crowd pop as Rodez makes his way towards the ring, making more of an effort to tag the outstretched hands of the fans that at Zero Hour. BUFFER And, currently in the ring is the challenger. From Latin America...CONQUISTADOR... Buffer stops, conferring with the two men in gold bodysuits and masks that stand to his side. BUFFER ...DOS!! The Conquistadors raise their fists high and cry a united 'ARRIBA!'. Meanwhile, Rodez climbs up the steps with a look of bemusement on his face. Entering the ring, he passes his X-Division Title to the referee, still not quite sure what to think of his 'opponent'. COLE Leon Rodez, defending his X-Division Championship again tonight...against the enigmatic Conquistador Dos here. CABOOSE Do we not have a contendership ranking system? COLE Evidently not. *DING DING DING!* As the belt is passed to ringside, Rodez and Dos meet in the centre of the ring...and slap hands, in some pseudo respect. "U S A!" "U S A!" "U S A!" Dos seems most offended, tumbling over to the ropes to converse with the fans. In Spanish. Which nobody in the crowd understands. Obviously. Uno tries to join in, but again, he speaks Spanish. Which nobody in the crowd understands. Obviously. Watching on, Rodez waits for Dos to finish arguing with the fans. But he continues to mumble through his mask in Spanish...so Rodez takes matters into his own hands... *SLAP!* ...and backhands Dos across his shiny gold ass!! COLE Wow! A former pornstar spanking a man in a gold, skintight bodysuit. That's something you don't see every day. CABOOSE Unless you own Coachman's video library. COACH ...MAH BABY GUUUUUUURRRRRRLLLLLL~~!! CABOOSE You get worse. Dos dives out of the ring clutching his buttocks, bending over and asking Uno to inspect the damage. Which just makes an awkward situation worse. Eventually, Dos rolls back into the ring, walking around like he has a rod up his ass. "GRAB - ASS! GRAB - ASS! GRAB - ASS!" On the outside, Uno is getting some rather unsavoury chants aimed at him. Dos meanwhile storms over to Rodez and angrily starts to lay down the Hispanic law. Rodez catches him with a quick boot to the gut though, applying a side headlock on Dos and dropping to one knee for leverage. Dos nails some shots to the side before pushing Rodez off into the ropes, preparing a shoulder block...but gets knocked down by one from Rodez. Quickly Rodez hits the ropes again. Dos makes himself a roadblock but Rodez hurdles over the Conquistador, catching him as he gets back up with a clothesline. Tumbling across the ring, Dos pulls himself up on the ropes and staggers out towards the centre of the ring, which is Rodez cue to take him over with an armdrag. Popping back up, Dos walks into a second armdrag. Then a thir...NO, Dos grabs Rodez by the hair to stop himself going over. Boos greet his actions as the referee reprimands Dos, reprimands which are ignored as Dos pulls Rodez up...and armdrags HIM over! COLE EL ARMDRAG~! COACH Muy Bueno! Rodez scrambles into a corner and looks up astonished, as Dos ROBOT DANCES~!, to a HUGE pop!! The one person who doesn't appreciate the dancing is Rodez, sprinting out of the corner at Dos. Dos leapfrogs and hits the mat as a roadblock again. But Rodez sees his plans coming, dropping a quick legdrop across the back of Dos' head! Dazed, Dos rolls onto his back, allowing Rodez to make the cover... 1... 2... KICKOUT! Rodez hops back up, calling Dos up and rocking him with a JAB! as he reaches his feet. And a second JAB! A JAB! A JAB! A JAB! Dos rocks and rolls on his feet, dis-orientated, as Rodez turns and blows the crowd the kiss...before connecting with the enziguri, completing his Mama Said Knock You Out series! The blow sends Dos sprawling forwards, landing throat first on the middle rope. Rodez stops, turns...and DANCES, before hitting the ropes, charging back and driving his weight into the spine of Dos!! COACH Call That Bitch Bojangles!! With the match going all his way, Rodez beckons up Dos, who remains winded on the middle rope. But Rodez has all the time in the world and simply waits in the centre of the ring. Finally, Dos pulls himself up, stumbling over to Rodez. The Silky Smooth One meets him with a boot, double underhooking the arms quickly and pausing some crowd support. Suddenly though, Conqusitador Uno charges into the ring and looks for a clothesline. Rodez easily ducks the frantic Hispanic's swing, waiting as Uno rebounds off the ropes...and sends him crashing into Dos! COLE A meeting of the Mexican minds! CABOOSE You RACIST~! Both Conquistadors clock heads and stumble comically around. Rodez again pauses, waiting for them to fall into position...before dropkicking Dos in the back. Dos crashes forward, clocking heads with Uno, who crashes backwards and tumbles out of the ring to the floor. Meanwhile, Dos is left in the ring, to eat... *SMACK!* A superkick! Dos collapses theatrically. Right in position it seems, as Rodez wastes little time in scaling the turnbuckles as the crowd rise to their feet. Suddenly, Uno leaps up onto the apron and charges at Rodez. Rodez gets his boot out though, clocking Uno in the jaw and causing him to crumble to the floor. That leaves the X-Champ free to stand high on the top, call on some more cheers...and HIT the Because The Lady Loves!! With a slight grimace, Rodez looks at his knee for a moment...but shrugs off the pain and makes the pin... 1... 2... 3!! *DING DING DING!* COLE And sure enough, Leon Rodez retains his X-Division Title. CABOOSE Like it was ever in doubt. You'd have been better off throwing Coach in there with him. COACH MAH BABY GUUUUU.... CABOOSE Oh shut the hell up for God's sake! In comes the X-Division Championship belt and Rodez, looking with a smirk at the fallen Conquistadors, raises it above his head proudly. But his celebration doesn't last long... UNO! DOS! TRES! CATORCE! As "Vertigo" hits and HeldDOWN~! GM Josie Baker steps onto a stage to a HUGE pop!! COACH The Zack-Killer!! CABOOSE Oh shut up! Josie waves to some of the fans as the music cuts, leaving her facing down at Rodez...who seems to be confused by the interruption. JOSIE I'm sorry to cut your celebrations short Leon, but I'm sure you won't mind when you hear what I have to say. But before I get to business, congratulations on the win tonight. And congratulations on your victory on Sunday night, in beating Chris Stevens and retaining the OAOAST X-Division Championship. Myself and Jasmine watched that match backstage, along with a 'close friend' of ours...*winkwink*...and I have to say, you impressed us both. The manner in which you beat a rising star like Chris Stevens proved to me and to Jasmine that what we were planning was justified. Rodez tilts his head curiously. JOSIE Apologies if I'm getting ahead of myself here. You see Leon, your performances recently have been impressing a lot of people. Where it matters...higher up. And, as I'm sure you're aware, impressing the higher-ups is very important, considering what time of year it is. AngleMania time. This year, we of course take AngleMania to an old school setting in Trump Plaza Hotel and Casino...so, obviously, the board is looking to do something to commemorate that. Also, I want to mark my first AngleMania in charge with a bang. COACH How do you mark something with a bang? COLE Hush! JOSIE And Leon, we wanted to give you a match at AngleMania to showcase your potential. So, with all that to consider, myself and Jasmine have been working flat out to organise a match in the past two weeks. We've made a lot of phone calls. Called in a lot of favours. And...it's good news. Good news for me, because believe me, this match WILL be a way of marking AngleMania with a bang. COACH I still think she's got that phrase screwed up. COLE I said hush! JOSIE Good news for you, because at AngleMania, you won't have to defend your OAOAST X-Division Championship. Raising his eyebrows, Rodez seems pretty intrigued, leaning over the ropes as he waits for Josie to get to the announcement. JOSIE And good news for each and every one of our loyal fans who are no doubt going to order AngleMania. Because at AngleMania, you will be able to experience...The Joy Of X! And immediately, I see a lot of blank faces, so maybe I'd better explain. The reason, Leon, why your title won't be on the line, is because your opposition will consist...of three...former X-Division Champions, returning to the ring on one night only deals. If his eyebrows raised before, this time Rodez's eyebrows almost fly up and over his head on hearing this. Meanwhile, already, some impressed murmers can be heard from the crowd. JOSIE I see you like the sound of that Leon. Well, I think it's only fair that you know who you're facing and have some time to prepare. So, let's see how you like the sound of this. The first opponent, former X-Division Champion...is THE AMAZING RANDO!! COLE Wow!! CABOOSE Rando!?! He hasn't been in the OAOAST for...for years!! A good portion of the crowd cheer, recognising Rando's name. JOSIE Opponent number two...former X-Division Champion. By participating this year, he will make his third consecutive AngleMania appearance. A man who I'm sure many will remember, as he is certainly a fam...well, an infamous OAOAST superstar. Infact he is THE...SUPERSTAR!! A large, very mixed reaction greets The Superstar's name, as Rodez cannot hide a smile in hearing the name. COLE The Superstar!?! COACH DAYYUM~! CABOOSE One of the biggest names to hold the gold! I tell you what, this might turn out to be Josie's first good decision in charge. JOSIE And finally, opponent three...who is, of course, a former X-Division Champion. A lot of attributes here. A great wrestler. One half of one of the most memorable X-Division feuds ever. An all round nice guy. A loving father... Already, the crowd pop. COLE Uh-oh! JOSIE A man who made his last OAOAST appearance all the way back on...February 27th 2005. CABOOSE I don't like where this is going. JOSIE And a man who was more than happy to do me a favour to round out the line-up for this show. I know him pretty well, as Ken. You know him...as K...MONEY!! "YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!" The crowd pop big time for that. Rodez applauds on from the ring, suitably impressed with the announcement, as Josie smiles away. JOSIE It'll be the best of the X-Division, past and present...and Leon, I wish you the best of luck. Because judging from what your opponents were saying to me and how quickly they accepting their invitations, you might just need it. Rodez laughs off the joking threat as "Vertigo" hits again and Josie applauds Rodez on her way out. COLE Can you believe that announcement? At AngleMania, it'll be Leon Rodez versus The Amazing Rando, versus The Superstar...versus K-Money!! No title on the line. Just the pride and the glory. Three former X-Division Champions back for one night only at AngleMania! The Joy Of X! CABOOSE I'll admit, that's one hell of an announcement. COLE And one hell of a match signed for AngleMania! That could be a show stealer! *the cameras bring us back into the lavish office of HeldDown GM Josie Baker where she can be seen on the phone talking to somebody. A tall and hefty black man in police gear steps halfway through the office door and proceeds to knock. Josie acknowledges the man who gives her a large smile.* Josie on the phone: I’m sorry but I’m going to have to let you go…yup…alright, buh-bye now. *Josie hangs up the phone and turns her full attention to the man who still has a large-bright smile on his face* Josie: Please come in, and I assure you if this is about the rumor of Jack Roberts being in the building… *The man walks into the office and up to Josie’s desk where he stands across from her* Man: Oh no mam, I’m not here to arrest anybody at all. I’m the new Head of Security for OAOAST. Josie while cocking an eyebrow: Huh? Man: The new Head of Security. My name is Carl Winslow and Bill Watts hired me yesterday after all the events that went down Sunday Night at Zero Hour. What with the small riot breaking out and people coming out of the stands to aid other wrestlers, well lets just say he’s really worried about the welfare of the fans. Its all in this letter I have here. *Carl hands Josie the letter and she begins to peruse over it.* Josie: Well then Carl let me be the first to welcome you to HeldDown. *Josie reaches across her desk and shakes Carl’s hand. Carl smiles during the exchange and then waddles his heavy frame out of her office. Josie just shakes her head.* Josie: This place just gets weirder and weirder… *commercial*

The camera cuts backstage. The crowd boos as "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican is shown walking. TPR has a pissed off look on his face, as he swats his gum away. COLE Tha Puerto Rican, "The Corporate Champion" is here. And he does not look to be in the happiest of moods. COACH Well, after causing a riot like the one he and Panther did last Sunday, I would be the same way. The match last Sunday at Zero Hour was supposed to end this feud, but instead it ended in a no contest. Tha Puerto Rican removes his glasses, takes off his sports jacket, unbuttons his cuffs and rolls them up. PR mutters something in Spanish, when he spots what he's looking for. COLE And it looks like PRL is preparing to fight. But who is he chasing after? CABOOSE Take a guess. "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican rushes towards his target: Panther. PRL elbows Panther from behind, just as Panther is getting out of his car. Panther tries to block the blows, but to no avail, as PRL assaults Panther with lefts and rights to the face, the chest, and the stomach, with the crowd booing the entire time. COLE Tha Puerto Rican and Panther are now fighting backstage! They're continuing their fight from last Sunday at Zero Hour! COACH It wasn't bad enough that they caused a riot. I don't think either of them care about that! They just want to tear each other apart! PRL beats on Panther, but Panther fights back. The crowd gets behind Panther, who is now getting the best of TPR, repeatedly punching his face. P.R. fights back by scratching at Panther's eyes, and then follows that up by smashing his head on the top of the car. Puerto Rican does it again, and then whips Panther into the side of the car, following with a clothesline that sends Panther to the floor. PR grabs Panther and gives him several European Uppercuts, and then some more punching. COLE This is a brawl we got going backstage! PR and Panther are at it again! COACH They better be careful, or else they will have another riot at their hands. CABOOSE It's not PRL's fault that that riot happened. It was Panther that hit that poor, defenseless fan with a chair, not PRL. Panther started it. COLE But it was Tha Puerto Rican who piefaced the fan. PRL started the chain of events that led to the riot. CABOOSE That's just spin created by the OAOAST Public Relations Department. Everyone who saw the pay-per-view live will clearly see Panther hitting the fan with the chair being the reason the riot started. P.R. and Panther are going back and forth. Panther grabs PRL, slamming his head on the windshield. P.R. elbows Panther in the gut, and takes him to a wall, where he lays into him with shots to the stomach. Finally, security, referees, and OAOAST Officials arrive and pull PRL and Panther apart. The crowd boos this decision. Security has trouble keeping the two combatants apart, as PRL and Panther keep charging into each other. COLE Security has finally broken this brawl apart! COACH And just in time, PRL and Panther were going to KILL each other if this went on any further! Security tries their best to keep the two men apart, but they keep breaking free, popping the crowd everytime. Tha Puerto Rican and Panther keep on fighting, laying into each other with lefts, rights, cursing, and finger flipping. Security grabs them again, and this time has sucess, moving the two away from each other a good length. PRL and Panther keep trying to break free, but this time fail. Soon, HeldDOWN~! General Manager, Josie appears, and yells. JOSIE Hey! Hey! Hey! What's going on here?! What are you two doing?! Stop this! I order you! Stop this immediatley, save it for the ring! PANTHER LET ME AT HIM! I WANT TO KICK HIS ASS! PRL Why you holding me back? Let me go kick his candy ass! Running his mouth! Who does he thing he is?! I swear, when I get my hands on him, I will lay the smackdown on his jabrony ass! JOSIE Nobody's going to kick anyone's ass tonight! Josie walks in between the security, referee, and OAOAST Officials holding back TPR and Panther. JOSIE Now, don't think I'm too pleased with the little stunt you two pulled last Sunday at Zero Hour. Do you know how many lawsuits we could have had thanks to that riot? Two fans suffered concussions, one has missing teeth, and let's not forget the emotional scars the thousands of fans in attendance have thanks to going through this riot! I swear, I'm dealing with children here, sometimes! I would have expected this from Tha Puerto Rican, but not you, Panther! You know better than that! "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" It's his fault! He hit that fan with the chair! If you have to blame anyone, blame him! PANTHER Man, screw you! You deserve the blame more than me! At this, Tha Puerto Rican and Panther try to break free from the security forces once again, but they are still being held back. There is lots of yelling, screaming, and cursing throughout. JOSIE QUIET! Everybody freezes. Josie continues speaking. JOSIE Now you two want to go ahead and fight? Fine. Go do it. I don't give a shit. Infact, I think it makes for a better show. But when your petty little feud leads to physical confrontations with our fans, OUR PAYING AUDIENCE, that's when I draw the line. You want to tear each other apart? I'm down with that. You hur t OAOAST fans? Not cool. Because of the fact that that goddamn riot you had meant that your match ended in a No Contest, I think that the obvious solution is to have a rematch. So, we'll have a rematch. And we'll have it...hmmm, let's say, 4 weeks from now. Just to give you guys some time to cool off. And what do you know? Four weeks from now is the biggest show in the OAOAST calender. So, what better place to end this blood feud that has been going on for two months then....AngleMania IV? The crowd pops. JOSIE And tell you what. To prevent what happened at Zero Hour from ever, EVER happening again, let's add a certain gimmick to this match. A certain match where two guys just tear into each other with no fans or other wrestlers interfering. A match where it is just two wrestlers and the referee, that's it....A STEEL CAGE MATCH! The crowd cheers even louder with this comment. COLE WHOA! What an announcement from Josie! COACH A Steel Cage Match at AngleMania IV! What a shocker! CABOOSE Josie's making cage matches left and right, and I love it! JOSIE Yeah, that's it. A Steel Cage Match. On one side, "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican. On the other, "The Champ Of Champs" Panther. Locked in a Steel Cage, where the only way to win is by pinfall, submission, or by going over the top of the cage or through the door. I'll call it "Rage In The Cage: Tha Puerto Rican/Panther II". Yeah, that's the perfect name to fit on the marquee. "Rage In The Cage: Tha Puerto Rican/Panther II" to happen at OAOAST AngleMania IV: The Classiest AngleMania Ever at the Trump Plaza Hotel And Casino Convention Center in Atlantic City, New Jersey, Sunday March 27, 2005 live only on pay-per-view! There we go! Problem solved! This feud will end at AngleMania fo' sho! You got your rematch. NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE! The security forces take PRL and Panther away seperately. PR and Panther try to get at each other one more time, but to no avail. The crowd is cheering loudly. Josie pulls out another cigarette and lights it up. After taking a drag, she sighs. JOSIE This damn company, sometimes. I swear. Fucking OAOAST. Josie walks off. The camera cuts back to Sofa Central with Triple C. COLE What an announcement from the HeldDOWN~! General Manager. At AngleMania IV, Sunday March 27th, only 24 days away, Tha Puerto Rican and Panther are going to explode in a Steel Cage. "Rage In The Cage: Tha Puerto Rican/Panther II". It's going to be a hell of a match between these two, and I wouldn't be suprised if it's bloody and brutal. COACH Absolutely Cole. Tha Puerto Rican and Panther hate each other. They DESPISE each other so much, that they caused a riot because their anger towards each other got out of control! And now, finally, Josie stepped in, intent to end this feud once and for all at AngleMania IV from the Trump Plaza Hotel And Casino Convention Center in Atlantic City, New Jersey. It's going to be insane, it's going to be wild, it's going to be a rocketbuster! PR/Panther. Steel Cage Match. "Rage In The Cage". I can't wait! CABOOSE Are you ever going to let me speak? COLE Sure. Go ahead. CABOOSE Okay. Well, Tha Puerto-- The screen goes to black. CABOOSE Goddamnit. *commercial*

Sevendust's "Black" has been my one and only, but there WILL be a change sometime in 2004. I've got it narrowed down to about three frontrunners.

I wasn't bowling, I was drinking. The show will be up momentarily. OMGHELDDOWN IN TEH MORNING?!?~!

Should be Patty. I'm now officially gone, so...late evening HD it is.

I just figured a main event might help.

OKAY! I'm still waiting on a couple things, so rather than post incomplete, I'm gonna hold off until late this evening/early morning, probably about 2 AM Eastern. PLEASE have it all to me by then.