Hoff

Angle/Mysterio should be the standard by which TV matches are judged. I'm not saying it wasn't PPV quality -- it was -- but, it could easily have aired on Smackdown or Raw. It just shows that you CAN do so much with limited time.

All right, I edited it in. IF YOU HAVE ALREADY READ THE SHOW, READ IT AGAIN, THERE IS A NEW SEGMENT IN BEFORE THE DREK/RAGDOLL CONFRONTATION. Anyway, good show, LOTS of matches so yay!

....no I didn't!! *fixes*

COLE Here we go, huge tag match coming up next! In a preview of the Elimination Chamber, coming up in just two short weeks at Thanksgiving Star Wars, we've got two-thirds of the match, battling in what should be a tremendous tag team bout! COACH We got Sly Sommers and Crystal, who just back a month or so back had an amazing, Match-of-the-Year candidate sixty-minute time-limit draw for the OAOAST World Title in Australia, facing two competitors that they'll be fighting for that very same World Title in the Elimination Chamber on the last Sunday of this month, those two men being Drek Stone and Chris Stevens. COLE There's a bit of intertwined history here as well, as Chris Stevens, even in a losing effort, took Sly Sommers to his limits at World Without End in a great bout that, if Sly would have lost, would have required him to basically lower himself to a prelim talent, void of any character whatsoever. COACH Back in September, the week before the Sly versus Crystal one-hour epic, it was set to happen right here in the good ol' U.S. of A, but those plans changed drastically when Drek Stone jumped Sly and took out his knee, sliding himself right into a World Title shot against Crystal. Though he lost, he opened a lot of eyes within the industry of people who said he was just hype. COLE So, even though this is a first-time-ever tag team meeting between a team that many considered to be the Up-and-Rising Stars of 2004 against who many think will be the Stars of '05, it certaintly hasn't been the first time that either team's crossed paths individually. Without any further ado, let's go to the ring with Michael Buffer for our ring introductions! Woke Up This Morning Got Yourself A Gun Mama Always Said You?d Be The Chosen One A3's "Woke Up This Morning" blares through the building, as Drek Stone comes out of the entrance. He walks to the ring with his fist in the air, passing by booing fans quickly. There's one rather bizarre-looking fan that Drek hears, as he repeatedly yells "DIE!" at the former Italian Champion. Drek turns and gets face-to-face with the guy, but doesn't say a word and stays stone-faced, as the man continues to yell "DIE!" at Drek. After about twenty seconds of this, Drek smirks at him and rushes into the ring. COLE That sure was bizarre... COACH What hasn't been bizarre is this guy's rise to fame, as he's made the most meteoric rise to the top of this company in a long time, capping it all off so far with a win in the Round Robin Challenge at World Without End that guarenteed him the main event slot at Thanksgiving Star Wars. "Bound to the Floor" starts up, and Chris Stevens comes out to the ring. He quickly forces himself through the less-than-appreciative fans before sliding into the ring and greeting his partner with a firm handshake. COLE We saw these two come together as a unit earlier tonight. Can they work together well as a well-oiled unit, especially considering that, outside the ring, Sly and Crystal are pretty damn good friends and have teamed extensively before? "Set It Off" starts up, and both Sly and Crystal come out to the ring together! The fans erupt! Both competitors are color-coordinated, wearing black-and-blue versions of their regular ring gear, with Sly adding a Crystal-esque trenchcoat to his entrance gear. COACH These two have done this before; usually the similar-looking ring gear shows unity amongst a team, and these two are a united front. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following bout is scheduled for one fall with a thirty-minute time limit. No schtick will be heard from me tonight due to TV-time constraints. Introducing first, the team to my left...weighing in tonight at a combined weight of 461 pounds...they hail from Rochester, Minnesota and Brooklyn, New York respectively...the team of CCCCHRRRRRISSSS STEEEEEVENS and DRRRRREEEEEK STOOOOONNNNE! COLE I thought someone was supposed to tell Buffer that most people don't have eight "S"'s and eleven "E"'s in their names... BUFFER And their opponents...hailing from Conquitlam, British Columbia and Chippawa, Michigan respectively...one's a former OAOAST X Division Champion; the other a former OAOAST World Champion...ladies and gentlemen, SLLLLLY SOOOOMMMMEERRRRS and "The Female Phenom" CRRRRRYSSSSTAAAAAL! *DING**DING* Both teams quickly summit before we see that Crystal and Drek Stone will start off for their respective teams. Both competitors circle around the ring, staring at each other intensely and looking to make the first move. Right at the same time, both competitors dive in and engage in a collar-and-elbow tie-up. Both struggle in the ring before Drek uses his superior size to power Crystal back into a neutral corner. Drek gives her a clean break, but not before scrapping his fingernails under his chin and giving her an Italian Salute. COLE Listen to the crowd boo this disrespectful punk! Drek backs off further, and Crystal calmly shrugs the whole thing off. They circle around the center of the ring again before engaging in another collar-and-elbow tie-up. This time, Crystal uses his lack of height to her advantage, getting under Drek and forcing him into the other neutral corner. She gives him a clean break...but then gives him an Italian Salute! COACH Serves him right! Drek gets very upset at the site of this, as he throws a punch at her. But, she ducks it. Drek turns around and walks right into a dropkick to the chest that sends him down! Drek pops back up to his feet, but gets sent down with another dropkick! She pulls Drek up and sends him to the ropes with an Irish whip. Stone comes off the ropes, and Crystal drops down to her stomach as he leaps over her. He comes off the ropes again, and this time gets leapfrogged by Crystal. He comes off of the ropes a third time, as she's on her back with her feet up, and delivers a monkey flip to Stone! COLE Look at the height on THAT! Crystal kips up, awaiting Drek to come to her. He dazily comes to his feet, and runs right into a nicely-done Japanese armdrag that Crystal backflips during so that she can immediately go into an armbar. She cranks down on the arm before switching to a wristlock and pulling him to his feet with it. Drek tries to find a counter, but she's got him covered on every end. So, he drops down and uses the momentum to send her into a neutral corner. COACH Not pretty, but effective. Drek gets to his feet and delivers a hard knee to her stomach before pulling her into a headlock out of the corner. But, Crystal's able to easily shove him off, and send him running. He comes off of the ropes and sends her down with a shoulderblock. Drek then comes off of the ropes to his side, as she turns over to her stomach and he leaps over her. She pushes up to her feet, and Drek runs right into a hiptoss from her! COLE Drek sure didn't expect that! Right then, Chris Stevens illegally rushes into the ring to try and stop this flurry. But, he gets his due, as she gives him a high hiptoss as well! Both Drek and Chris rise to their feet together, and at once go after her with a double clothesline. But, Sly runs in at that moment, and both Sly and Crystal catch their opponents with a double dropkick! Chris immediately pops up, holding his chest and jaw...and gets clotheslined over the top rope by Sly! Drek stumbles to his feet and rushes at Crystal...but she backdrops him, sending him over the top rope and to the floor! The crowd is wild! COACH Sly and Crystal have cleaned house! Chris and Drek meet with each other on the floor to try and gather another gameplan. But, they turn to the ring and get met with Sly falling on them, as he hits a great-looking tope con hilo (running flip dive over the top rope) onto both! The crowd chants "Sly!" as Sly comes to his feet and starts pulling both up. Crystal preps herself near the ropes, and when both opponents are up, she does a turnaround leap to the top rope and hits an awesome moonsault plancha! COLE YO~! COACH That's MY line! The "Sly!" chant quickly turns into a "Crystal!" chant, as she comes to her feet. She grabs onto Chris Stevens and tosses him into the ring. She slides in and goes for an immediate cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Somewhere in this madness, I guess the referee got super-confused and is letting Chris stay in as the legal man. Crystal quickly pulls him up, as Sly goes back to his corner. She delivers a loud chop to his chest before going for an Irish whip. But, he snaps out of his daze and reverses that whip. Chris performs a drop toe hold as she bounces off the ropes, and switches right to a front facelock. He pulls her up with it, and attempts to go for a suplex. But, she wraps her leg around one of his and blocks it. So, he connects with two forearms to her back before re-hooking it and hitting a front-face suplex. COACH If you fail, try try again. Chris pulls Crystal up and hooks her in a half-nelson. He then uses that to drag her to his corner, where he quickly tags Drek, fresh from coming up from the floor. Chris holds her until Drek kicks Crystal in the stomach. Drek pulls Crystal to him, and delivers a bodyslam. Stone then comes off of the ropes and delivers a jumping kneedrop, coming right down across her throat with his weight. COLE That's a 230-pound man coming down across her throat; her breathing pattern's gotta be messed up! Drek pulls Crystal up, but sends her back down with a forearm delivered across her back. Stone then delivers a stomp to the lower region of her back. Stone pulls her up...but again sends her immediately back down with an uppercut to the jaw. Stone then places his boot across Crystal's eyes and scrapes it across, delivering extreme pain to both of her eyes. Drek pulls her up again, and sends her into the Stone/Stevens corner with an Irish whip. Drek charges at her, and hits a turnaround avalanche-style back elbow! COACH Listen to the impact of Drek's elbow colliding with her jaw! Drek then tags Chris back in. They pull her about a foot out of the corner...and send her back in hard with a double-STO shove! Drek goes to the apron, as Chris snapmares her out of the corner. Stevens then delivers a loud dropkick to her upper back, as she's sitting up. Stevens then gets on top of her for a lateral press... 1... 2... Kickout! Stevens pulls her up and shoves her back into the corner. He then delivers a thrust kick to her chest. Chris follows up with another thrust kick, this time to her stomach. Chris then pulls her out of the corner with a headlock takeover. Stevens keeps ahold of the headlock on the mat for about six seconds before Crystal gets her legs up and reverses it with a headscissors. Stevens easily kips up and out, immediately going back to his headlock. COLE You can say a lot about Chris Stevens, but you have to agree that he's persistant when he gets a hold in that he likes. Stevens keeps the headlock applied until Crystal hooks his leg and turns him over into a side cradle... 1... 2... Kickout! Stevens shifts his weight when kicking out so that he can go back to the side headlock on the mat. He then pulls Crystal up to her feet with it. But, he doesn't have it in tight enough, as she squeezes her head out and grabs him from behind while sending him chest-first into the ropes, going for a state roll. But, he holds onto the ropes and she rolls backwards. Crystal rolls onto her feet, so Chris charges at her and sends her down with a hard clothesline! COLE Damn! Chris then pulls Crystal up and applies a front facelock. He uses that to drag her to his corner, where he tags in Drek. Stone comes in, "sizes her up", and delivers a hard kick to her gut, as she falls as soon as Chris lets go of the front facelock. Drek pulls Crystal up and brings her over in a side Russian legsweep, immediately floating over to a pinfall after the impact... 1... 2... Kickout! Drek immediately comes to his feet and goes rampant with repeated stomps on Crystal's chest and throat. The referee has to pull him off after an errant kick comes down on her windpipe, and chokes her up quite badly. Drek pulls her up and sends her off with an Irish whip. She comes off of the ropes and runs right into a back elbow to the face. Stone immediately follows that up with a fistdrop and goes for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Drek pulls Crystal up and puts her on his shoulders. He yells something inaudible to Sly before dropping her with a Samoan drop. Sly rushes into the ring angrily, with the referee having to hold him back. With the referee distracted, Stevens runs into the ring as Drek is pulling Crystal up, and both men hit a double snap suplex on Sly. Chris slaps his hands above his head to signal a fake tag, as Drek runs back to the corner. The referee turns around to see Chris pinning Crystal... 1... 2... Kickout! Chris pulls her up and sends her to a neutral corner. He turns her around and delivers a double axe handle shot to her back. Stevens turns around before backing up some. Chris does the "Up Yours" arm signal before rushing at her for something...but she gets a boot up! However, he catches the foot before it hits him in the jaw. Crystal then crosses her other leg over and pushes down with it to free herself and bend him over, leaving him wide open for a huge tornado DDT! COACH She needs to make a tag! Both competitors slowly crawl to their corners, both wanting to make the tag to their fresh man. The crowd starts clapping for Crystal...but Chris tags Drek in first! Drek rushes into the ring and immediately forearms Sly in the face to knock him off of the apron and cut off a potential hot tag! COLE Smart, but ultimately illegal. Crystal tries getting to her feet, but by the time she's barely standing, Drek comes from behind and takes out her left leg with a chop block! Drek pulls Crystal up immediately, hooks her left knee under his armpit, and drives the leg straight down like a DDT! COLE That's a KneeDT! COACH This is very intelligent work by Drek: she was able to nearly escape Drek and Chris' onslaught with a counter in a neutral corner involving her very deceptive leg strength, so he's going after her left leg so that it doesn't happen again. Drek starts kicking at the knee, reverting back to old street tactics instead of wrestling skill, as he knows he can out-unorthodox Crystal. Drek then lifts up her leg by the ankle and slams it down hard on the mat, as she screams in pain. He pulls her up and lifts her for a side suplex, only with her leg hooked under her. He then drops her with an atomic drop, only dropping her on her bent knee instead of her ass. COLE Reminescent of Ric Flair with that move... Drek keeps ahold of the leg and sends Crystal, who's standing on one leg, down with a shove. He keeps ahold of the leg, and starts kicking the back of it. Drek then plants his own right foot on her stomach and yanks up with a snapping motion on her leg, trying to pop the knee out of socket. He's unsuccessful, but hurts her nonetheless. Drek pulls her up and delivers a loud chop. Drek then hooks her and drops her with a release fisherman's suplex. COACH He drops her on her back, but by hooking the leg, he prolongs the damage to the leg during a usually-back-related move. Drek then comes off of the ropes, and performs a double-stomp from a standing position onto the leg. Drek then hooks her ankle under his armpit and drags her to his corner. He keeps ahold of her leg while tagging in Chris Stevens. Chris comes in and dropkicks Crystal's out-stretched leg. Drek hands her ankle off to Chris before going back to the apron. Stevens turns her over and places his foot on the back of her knee. He then lifts her leg while lifting his own leg, and stomps the leg back down to the mat! COLE What impact! Chris pulls her off of the mat and slams her back down near the ropes. Chris then goes to the apron, and catapults himself to hit a slingshot splash onto her targetted leg! Stevens then grabs ahold of the leg and does an inverted version of the Hennig Neck Snap, only on her leg to pull her hamstring. Stevens pulls her up again and hooks her arms. He then hits a nice-looking double-underhook suplex. Chris kips up and smirks at the crowd, who join in unison to boo him. COACH Chris Stevens isn't exactly well-liked in these parts... Stevens then grabs her leg again and goes for a spinning toe hold. He gets in one rotation before Crystal plants her foot on his rear end and shoves him off with it, sending him shoulder-first into a ringpost. As soon as Stevens hits the ringpost, the first thing he does is fall down and yell like a dog that's been shot. The referee goes to check on him... COLE We might have a really bad injury here, folks... The ref's back is turned and checking on Stevens' shoulder...and Crystal makes the tag! As soon as she does, Stevens pops up and tells the referee to turn around. He sees Sly...but saw no tag! The referee immediately makes Sly go back to his corner and Crystal come back in, much to the dismay and anger of Sly, Crystal, and the crowd! COLE C'MON! COACH That little bit by Chris Stevens was low! While the referee is distracted with Sly arguing with him, Drek enters the ring illegally. Chris hooks Crystal in an STO position while Drek hooks her from the other side...and they hit an STO/Russian legsweep double-team move! Drek slaps his hands in the air as Chris sneaks back to the corner, as the referee hears but doesn't see a fake tag. Stone turns Crystal over on her stomach, hooks his leg around hers, and drops back with an inverted Indian Deathlock! COLE That'll snap a leg! Drek comes back to his feet and spits at Sly! Sly becomes irritated again and tries to come into the ring. The referee holds him back, allowing Chris to sneak in and start stomping at the leg, while it's hooked around Drek's and completely defenseless. Stevens senses that he hasn't much time left, so he runs back to his corner as Drek snaps back with the Indian Deathlock again. Stone's leg slips however, and he accidentally lets go of the hold. COACH You have to make sure that your holds are cinched in well, or stuff like that will happen often. Stone pulls Crystal up by the hair, completely ignoring the referee's warnings. He then lifts her up over one shoulder, and slings her back down to the mat with an Angry Man Slam (front spinebuster), using just her injured leg! Drek keeps ahold of the leg and rolls her backwards to her feet. He grabs her hand, and does a short-arm pull into a dropkick to the knee. Drek then hooks the leg and applies a half-crab. The referee checks her from an odd angle, allowing Stevens to help yank back on his partner and allow for more pressure to be applied! The referee keeps checking on Crystal, who's screaming in excrutiating pain, allowing them to continue with their cheating ways...until about fifteen seconds in, when Stevens gets a little too cocky with it and basically sits down while pulling on the back of Drek's tights...putting him right beside the official! The hold is immediately forced to be broken... COLE They got what was coming to them! Stone pounds the mat in frustration, then pulls Crystal up. He lifts her for a slam and hangs her in a tree of woe in that position. Drek then lets loose with a fast bevy of punches and kicks to the leg, showing off his frustration at not being able to put her away. Drek then backs up a few steps, and hits a running shoulder charge to the knee. Stone pulls her out of the tree of woe and back onto her feet. He then hooks her head and looks to be going for the Stonecutter... COLE This could be the final nail... ...but somehow, she's able to reverse with a Northern Lights suplex! Her bad leg gives out on the bridge, but she got out of the move nonetheless. The crowd starts to clap in rhythm, trying to give Crystal the moral support to get to her corner and tag Sly out. She makes the slow crawl, as Drek crawls over to Chris... COACH Who will tag out first?!?! Crystal's within inches, as is Drek...and Drek tags out to Chris! Chris rushes into the ring, pulls her to the center by her foot, and locks in an anklelock! Chris cranks down on the ankle, as Crystal almost cries out in pain! She reaches out, yelling for anything. She inches...and inches...and finally is able to reach the ropes, forcing him to break the hold. COLE That was a close one! Chris doesn't let go easily, as he yanks up on the leg above his head, causing her to fall a few feet on her face. Stevens pulls her up to a bent position and sends her back down with an elbow to the back. Stevens pulls her back up with a front facelock slowly, lifts her, and drops her with a frontface suplex. Stevens then stands on her targetted leg and flexes, causing the crowd to boo loudly. COACH That's just shameful! Chris gets off of the leg and applies a standing ankle twist. The crowd starts chanting "Crystal!", trying to get her out of this predicament! After about fifteen seconds of chanting, she slowly starts rolling herself slightly back and forth, trying to get a little bit of momentum. She then lifts her other leg and puts it over Chris's arm...and spins herself, causing him to lose his grip and flip over! COLE That was cool! COACH You're a nerd. Both competitors slowly crawl to their corners, both wanting a tag to their fresh partners. A loud rhythmic clap and "CRYSTAL!" chant start, as the crowd obviously wants her to get to the corner and tag in Sly. Both are inches away...and Drek gets the first tag! But, right before he gets to break up the tag, she leaps out and TAGS IN SLY! COLE Here we go! Sly leaps over the top rope and plows right over Drek with a running clothesline! Drek bounces right back up and gets sent back down with a punch to the jaw! Drek pops back up, holding his face...and gets sent down with a jumping forearm to the face! Drek pops up again, obviously dazed. Sly connects with a straight jab to the jaw that dazes Drek. Sly performs another jab to the jaw, and Drek still stays on his feet, albeit still dazed. Sly then comes off of the ropes...and sends Drek down with a flying clothesline! COACH Sly Sommers is a house of fire! Sly pulls Drek up, and whips him off to the ropes. Drek comes charging back, and runs into a HIGH back body drop! Drek bounces back onto his feet on the mat, holding his back in obvious pain. Sly grabs his arm, and again sends him off with an Irish whip. Stone comes off of the ropes, and Sly grabs him for a side slam, only to flip him back quickly on his face and chest! COLE Let's do the time warp ag-aaaaaain! COACH Stupid "Rocky Horror" fans... Sly pulls Drek up with a cravate, which he then twists into a reverse DDT! Sly pulls Drek up with the reverse front facelock, twists him around, and hits a corkscrew suplex (lifts him up half-way, then twists and falls back)! Sly holds on, kips up, and drops right back down with a snap neckbreaker! Sly pulls Drek up, and chops him stiffly in the chest, sending him back down. Sly pulls Drek up and gives him another Irish whip. Drek comes off of the ropes, and gets lifted for a side suplex...before Sly twists around and drops him with a side suplex! COLE What was THAT? COACH Innovative. Sly keeps ahold of Drek from behind as he pulls him up, switches to a rear waistlock, and bridges with a German Suplex! 1... 2... Chris Stevens dives in and breaks it up! Stevens pulls Sly up and gives him an Irish whip. Sommers comes off of the ropes and leapfrogs over Chris. Sly comes off of the ropes on the other side and connects with a front dropkick to the chest, sending Chris down while Sly himself lands on Drek's prone body with a cannonball senton! COACH I wish we had a text Instant Replay for that one! Sly turns around and hooks Drek's leg... 1... 2... KICKOUT! Chris pulls himself up with the ropes as Sly hooks Drek's ankles under his armpits. He then starts to give Stone a giant swing! They're so close to Stevens that, everytime the swing's in his direction, he has to hop over Drek's body! They go around and around, but Sly stops after the fourth swing, with his back facing Chris. Chris goes after him, but gets stopped when Sly falls back and catapults Drek at Stevens, sending Chris to the outside! COLE Creativity never looked so good in action! Sly then grabs onto the top rope and launches himself over with a big pescado (slingshot dive to the floor) onto Stevens! While Sly shakes himself off and pulls Chris up, Drek groggily heads up to the top rope. When both are up, Drek launches off for a plancha...but Sly pulls Chris in the way and makes him take full impact! COACH I haven't seen Sly look this good in the ring in months! Sommers then goes up to the top rope while both Drek and Chris both come to their feet and try and re-group. When both are fully standing, he launches off and hits an impressive moonsault plancha! Sly pops back up and screams due to his adreneline flowing! He pulls Chris up and tosses him back into the ring. Sly slides back in and pulls Stevens up. He hooks him for a suplex...and hits an incredible front-fall, non-sitdown Orange Crush Bomb (suplex flipped into a powerbomb)! COLE I heard Sly calls that move "The Drop Zone"! COACH He sure as hell dropped him! YO~! Sly goes for the cover... 1... 2... KICKOUT! Sly then points towards the sky. He goes to the apron and climbs up top. But, he takes too long, as Drek Stone is able to crawl onto the apron and shake the top rope to crotch Sly. Drek then climbs to the top rope, and both Stone and Sommers go back and forth with punches, battling to stay away from a fall from the top rope. Just then, Crystal joins in the fray, climbing up top and trying to fight Drek down. He starts throwing punches at both before kicking Crystal's bad leg, causing her to fall face-first onto the apron! COLE That was not pretty! Drek turns back around to pay his attention to Sly, but Sly pops him in the jaw. Sly then hooks Drek's head over his shoulder and lifts him into a piggyback, looking to go for the Sommerset (piggyback stunner). But, before he takes off, a groggy Chris Stevens jabs him in the balls. Chris then pulls Sly in and puts him on his shoulders horizontally. Drek gets a few seconds to climb and balance himself on the top rope before Chris drops Sly with a Death Valley Driver! Drek immediately follows up by launching off and hitting a top rope kneedrop! COACH It only takes a matter of seconds for things to turn around in a match like this! COLE Or any match, for that matter! Chris then points to his left, and Drek runs to the ropes. Stone bounces off of the ropes and Chris lifts him for a flapjack, dropping him in a splash across Sly's chest! Drek goes for the cover... 1... 2... SLY KICKS OUT! Crystal rolls into the ring right after the kickout, but gets kicked in the stomach by Chris. Stevens then goes for a suplex, but she reverses with a go-behind transition that's quickly changed into an elevated Edge-o-Matic (reverse X-Factor)! Crystal comes to her feet, and sees Drek open. She limpily runs at him for a spear, but he sidesteps and kicks her leg out from under her. Drek quickly hooks her legs for a Texas Cloverleaf, but she plants her elbows down in the mat so that he cannot turn it either way. COLE Crystal's a master of some of the smallest details that most wrestlers don't think about; that's why she's one of the best! Drek struggles with the Cloverleaf...until Sly comes from out of NOWHERE and flips over him, bringing him over with a sunset flip... 1... 2.... KICKOUT! The crowd erupts in shock and applause after that one! Sly can't believe how good Drek's reflexes are, but immediately pulls him up and shoves him into a corner. He lets loose with a bevy of strikes with the same arm, going chop, forearm to the face, chop, forearm, chop, forearm, chop, forearm..., alternating between the two strikes ten times apiece! Sly then pulls him out of the corner by the hair and holds his head down for repeated shin kicks to the face! Sly follows up with three headbutts to the side of the head before snapmaring him and delivering three rapid-fire spinal tap kicks! COLE VIOLENCE PARTY! Sly pulls him back into a sitting position in the corner and delivers a standing bootscrape. He then goes for a running bootscrape, as he comes off of the ropes on the other side of the ring....but gets hooked by Chris in mid-run and dropped with a sleeping neckbreaker! Chris goes for the cover... 1... 2... SLY GETS HIS FOOT ON THE ROPE! Chris angrily pulls Sly up and gives him an Irish whip. Sly comes off of the ropes and ducks Chris's lethal superkick. But, when ducking it, he runs right into a front facelock from Drek....STONECUTTER! Crystal comes up and walks right into a superkick from Stevens, who immediately climbs like a cat up top...FROG SPLASH! Both Drek and Chris go for the cover on their respective victims... 1... 2.... THREE! BUFFER Your winners of the contest, CHRIS STEVENS AND DREEEEK STOOOONE! COLE WOW! Folks...we thought that Drek and Chris had a chance of winning this one, but we didn't expect this! COACH Both Drek and Chris just pinned two people who, as of six weeks ago, the number one contender and World Champion respectively! Hell, six weeks ago, Chris Stevens was opening up on house shows! He just pinned the World Champion of that time! COLE That wasn't just a victory; that was quite the dominant victory! They did something that not even Sly could do, and that's successfully work down Crystal's left leg to the point where it hindered her ability and partly caused the loss, as she wasn't quick enough to dodge the superkick thanks to the gimpy leg! Drek and Stevens walk out of the ring covered in sweat and raising their own arms in victory as they walk down the ramp, seperately but together. COLE Take a good look at that picture...we could be ending Thanksgiving Star Wars with either one of those guys in their current victorious pose...but with the World Title around their waist! We cut back to a shot of Sly and Crystal, both still down and out from Drek and Chris's finishing moves. COACH Who'd thought that we'd see this type of result so soon? I mean, we all expected Drek Stone to, one day, be the top dog of this company...but this soon? Wow. (Cut back to Stone and Stevens, standing triumpantly at the top of the ramp) COLE Well, we've got to go, folks. Remember: Thanksgiving night, we're still on the air with a brand-new OAOAST HeldDOWN~!, just DAYS before Thanksgiving Star Wars! Until then, see you guys LATA~! FADE TO BLACK © 2004 HeldDOWN Entertainment/OAOAST, Inc. CREDITS: CandyColoredBlues King Cucaracha Tony149 Phoenix Fury Legdrop Phenom NY Untouchable Nice Guy Adam Zack Malibu The Amazing Rando Papacita Hoffzor~!

HeldDOWN is presented by OAOAST Entertainment. *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* OAOAST HeldDOWN~! Katy Rose's "I Like" cuts through the November air as a montage of wrestlers shows! Then we see a LOGO! KA-BOOM~! The cameras pan about the screaming crowd, showing off all sorts of signs!! Big sings, small signs, signs with spots and stripes! Speaking of skin conditions, it's Michael Cole, in the ring! COLE Hello again folks, and welcome to a HUGE edition of HeldDown! "YEEEEEEEEEEAH" COLE Before we get started, though, I'd like to first introduce to you all, live via satellite, the former OAOAST Heavyweight Champion of the World, Hoff! The crowd cheers -- then kicks the volume to another level as Hoff's image appears on the AngleTron! The superstar is sitting, visible from the waist up, wearing a plain white T-shirt. A large band-aid is on his forehead. He looks less than pleased to be here. COLE Hoff, first of all, let me say it's good to see you out of the hospital and looking healthy. Hoff delays a second, presumably due to the relay time, before answering brusqely. HOFF Oh yeah, Cole, I'm real healthy! You see, someone tried to take me out, but that son of a bitch forgot who he was dealing with. Let me make one thing perfectly clear: there is NO MAN on that roster that can keep me down. Do you hear me? I'm talking to EVERYONE. I cannot be stopped, but I can damn sure get pissed off. The fans eat it up as Cole smiles. COLE Well we know that's the truth , as the doctors have given you a very favorable prognosis! HOFF Two months, Michael Cole. Two months, and you know it's not gonna even take me that long. Two months until I'm coming back for what's mine. COLE Indeed, many people are calling you the uncrowned World's Champion-- HOFF Let me ask you something, Cole. COLE ....okay..... HOFF Did I ever lose my title? Hoff pauses as the fans cheer, screaming "NO!" as loud as they can. HOFF Was I ever beaten? Was I ever pinned to the mat? Did I ever tap out? No, Cole, I never lost and I NEVER gave up my title. That belt, that HONOR, is still mine, and I'm coming back to take it. COLE Well, be that as it may, the OAOAST Title has been declared vacant and it will be decided on November 28th in the Elimination Chamber! Any thoughts on that? HOFF I'm only thinking about one thing, and that's getting my title back. I don't care who I have to go through. Crystal, Sly, Drek, my good buddy Chris Stevens...Axel...Ragdoll...you had all better start looking over your shoulder now. You better ask yourself, "is it worth it? Do I really want to be on the tracks when the train comes through?" Because I AM COMING. "YEEEEEEEEEEAH!!" COLE Well we look forward to your return! But, if I could switch gears for a moment and talk about your attacker... Hoff's gaze turns serious as a round of boos comes up from the crowd. COLE We understand that you were attacked from behind; you were laid out, and, as we hear it, you never even saw your assailant? Hoff swallows hard, looking downright mean, and answers... HOFF No. But that doesn't mean I don't know who did it. COLE Well, there's certainly been some speculation, but the man many feel is the cheif suspect is-- HOFF Zack. Malibu. "BOOOOOOOO" Hoff's gaze darkens. HOFF Zack... Hoff starts to literally shake in his seat. HOFF I know it was you...because you couldn't handle what I had done...because it wasn't about you. So you tried to take me out...end my career...end my life... Using a cane, Hoff stands, and the camera pans out to show a very large metal brace on Hoff's left knee, extending to the ankle. HOFF But you made one mistake, Zack...you didn't finish the job. And now, I'm training six hours a day, every day, and when I come back I am going to be even stronger, even better than I am, and I am going to save every day's frustrations...choke them down...and when I see you Zack, I am going to let them out. Zack, I will make you regret the day you were born. If you have any sense left in your warped mind, then I offer you three little words: run and hide. Because I...AM...COMING. The AngleTron goes black, and the HeldDown theme begins to play as Cole rejoins his companions at Sofa Central. COACH Strong words from Hoff! COLE (slipping on his headset) Absolutely, guys, Hoff looked absolutely scary. CABOOSE Now, come on. We don't KNOW that Zack did this. COLE Well, I wouldn't put it past him! CABOOSE Cole! Be objective! COLE Well, at any rate, Hoff thinks he did, and that might be all that matters! Fans, you're in for a wild night, with plenty of action! The Full Blooded Aussies will be in action, as well as the outspoken South Central Militia! COACH And let's not forget that enigmatic Phenom! CABOOSE And not only that riffraff, but the NEXT World Champion, DREK STONE~!, and another quality human being in Chris Stevens! COLE Stone and Stevens against Sly Sommers and Crystal, and a whole lot more! Stay tuned! We cut to backstage, where Josh Matthews stands ready with Leon Rodez, when suddenly two blurs pass by behind them, drawing the attention of Rodez. “What the …” The camera pans over to catch Chris & James duck behind a garbage can. Cautiously they peer up around the edge and see Matthews, Rodez, and the camera pointed straight at them. They quickly duck back down and can be seen talking over their next move. Rodez moves in for a closer look, startling the two fans as they suddenly begin to creep across the floor, ducking as low as they can and holding two Pepsi cans in front of them. Chris can be heard as the camera moves in closer. “Just walk slowly, maybe they’ll think we are just garbage…” “…I know you are but what am I?” “Why you…” Rodez and Matthews jump back in shock as Chris tackles James, sending their two soda cans rolling down the hallway as they slide around the corner. Rodez quickly follows, trying to break the two men up, but the hardcore slap-fest seems it is unstoppable by mortal men. Finally, they both begin to tire, giving Josh and Leon the chance to pull them to their feet and stand between them, both of them gasping for air. “What the hell is going on?” Chris and James suddenly snap back into reality and realize they are eyes-to-eyes with Matthews and Rodez. Both quickly cover their own eyes and murmur to themselves. Rodez leans into Matthews… “What are they doing?” “If they can’t see us we can’t see them, apparently.” This gets a nod from James, who begins to slowly back up and go around the corner, but the combination of the hand across his eyes and the coordination it takes to walk backwards, James catches his foot on the edge of the corner and falls to the floor, hitting the tile with a hard smack. “Now you did it!!” …. “SHI-“ Chris’s gut reaction is cut off by his attempts to “not get caught”, and before the S-Bomb can be dropped both of his hands gain positions on his face, one covering the mouth and the other covering the eyes. “Shhhh…watch this…” With Chris’s eyes covered, and James lying on his back still holding his eyes (and the back of his head), Josh starts to walk away, silently motioning for Rodez and the cameraman to follow. Rodez does, as does the cameraman, but he keeps the camera on the duo as they slowly move away, and just before they are out of sight they catch Chris peek out of the side of his hand and then rush off… …only to trip over the downed James and crash on top of him. As the show goes to commercial, the blistering laughter of Matthews, Rodez, and the cameraman are all that is heard over the scene as it fades out. *commercial*

COLE Up next is a match that's basically been set up by the past couple of weeks of interaction between the Tethers Brothers and new OAOAST star "Devastatin'" Danny Douglas, who has to be the biggest 80's throwback since the Family Ties pillow I saw at Coachman's house last Thanksgiving. He came out on the program two weeks ago, and basically debuted by denouncing the entire roster, especially "skinny, flippy guys". COACH The Tetherses, who themselves are quite skinny and flippy, took offense to that. A challenge was laid down for last week, where, after being dominated for the entire bout, Douglas won after a cheap brass knuckles-assisted shot to the jaw of Nate Tethers. This week, Danny Douglas will face the other Tethers brother, Mikey. Let's go to the ring! ("Roll On" starts up, and out comes Mikey Tethers, alone due to the orders last week from the Board of Directors about one Tethers in the arena at a time.) BUFFER The following bout is scheduled for one fall, and has a ten-minute time limit. Introducing first, from Belleview, Michigan; weighing in at 193 pounds...Mikey TEEEETHERRRRS! COACH This is Mikey's chance to get redemption for his brother and himself tonight! ("Who Do You Love?" starts up...but there's no Danny Douglas in sight.) COLE I know he's old-school, but he should know that when the music starts, you're supposed to come out. All of a sudden, someone comes out from under the ring that Mikey's back is facing. It's Danny Douglas! He visibly wraps a chain around his fist while the ref and Mikey's backs are turned. Danny slides into the ring, turns Mikey around, and pops him in the jaw with his chained-up fist! Danny shoves the chain down his pants while the referee's in mid-turn.... *DING**DING* Danny immediately falls on Mikey for the pin... 1... 2... 3! *DING**DING* COACH That was pretty damn cheap! BUFFER Your winner of the contest, "Devastatin'" Danny Douglas! COLE Buffer didn't even get to do his intro announcements! Douglas parades around the ring for a second...before immediately bolting out of dodge, as he sees Nate Tethers bolt to the ring from the locker room, looking as irate as ever. Douglas bolts into the crowd to avoid Nate, as he walks through the crowd before getting to the other side of the building and climbing over the railing by the rampway. Nate Tethers has a microphone... NATE You've come out here for the past couple of weeks, basically making a big game out of knocking me and my brother out cold before screwing us out of wins. I got an immediate solution, but I'm guessing murder's out of the question. So, this is the next best thing: In Dallas at Thanksgiving Star Wars, you versus us in a Dallas Street Fight! How about THAT? (Nate hands the microphone over to the referee, who runs it down to Danny at the top of the ramp.) DANNY Hmm...No. (All of a sudden, Josh Matthews appears on the big screen above.) JOSH Sorry guys, but I was told to broadcast the following piece of news right after the challenge came out of Nate's mouth: At Thanksgiving Star Wars, it WILL be Danny Douglas in a Dallas Street Fight. The thing is, his opponent won't be determined until right before the match, as it'll be Nate Tethers versus Mikey Tethers, in the same type of match, with the winner facing Danny right after. I'm being told that the Board of Directors feels that it's the only fair way for everyone involved to get what they want. This is J-Math, OUT! The screen cuts back to a shot of Nate, who looks like he has mixed feelings towards that announcement as he tries to awaken his brother. The camera cuts to Danny, who's walking backstage with a smirk on his face. COLE More HD!, and we've got a development elsewhere backstage! -Scene fades into the backstage area, once again in the cafeteria. We see assorted jobbers standing about. However, amidst them, is none other than Drek Stone! The fans see him and erupt in a chorus of boos. He stands out from the rest of the crowd, wearing a nice suit and a black fedora. He stirs his coffee slowly, almost as if time doesn't matter. He has an angry look on his young face. He is unapproachable, yet is still approached. Drek looks over to his right and sees none other than Ragdoll, standing a foot away from him. Ragdoll just stares at Drek, who stares right back. DREK "...you got a problem?" RAGDOLL "Yes...and it's the same problem that you have." -Drek puts down his coffee and leans against the table, never taking his eyes off of Ragdoll. DREK "And that is?" RAGDOLL "Oh c'mon, Drek...don't play dumb...you know EXACTLY what the problem is. " DREK "...I can think of one thing, and I'm staring right at it." RAGDOLL "Save it. The problem i'm talking about is Axel and the Elimination Chamber. I already had a talk about this with Watts..." DREK "I know, I saw...well played...you can sure beat the shit out of old guys really well." RAGDOLL "You know, I was GOING to tell you how to solve the problem, but you'd rather be a smartass...so nevermind." DREK "Fine, talk..." -Ragdoll looks around, looking to see if anybody might be listening. He sees it's all clear, and moves in closer. RAGDOLL "...I want to form an alliance in the Elimination Chamber." -Drek stares blankly at Ragdoll before breaking out in laughter. DREK "...you want ME...to help YOU? I thought you said you kicked your habits." RAGDOLL "Look...it's us helping each other whenever we need it. Everyone else in that hell of a match are flying solo, and they won't be expecting US to be watching each other's backs. This way, I can take out Axel quickly and end his meaningless career once and for all, and you don't have to worry about people getting in your way." -Drek looks down for a second before grabbing his coffee. He picks it up and looks back at Ragdoll. DREK "...All right, Austin...say I do help you and we end Axel's career...what happens if it's just you and me left?" RAGDOLL "Then one of us is walking out the OAOAST Champion...and, I'm not going to lie...it's going to be me." DREK "...Why should I help you? Huh? What do I owe you?" RAGDOLL "Come on...New York and Vegas have always gone hand in hand. I mean, the families from both cities have always looked out for each other...you and I watching each others backs only makes sense." -Drek takes a sip of his coffee and looks around. He puts the cup down and looks Ragdoll in the eyes. DREK "...I'll think about it." -Ragdoll smiles a devious grin as he puts a cigarette into his mouth and lights it. RAGDOLL "Good...we'll be in touch." -With that, Ragdoll walks away, leaving Drek alone once again. OAOAST.com's webcast play-by-play announcer Tony Schaivone is with the Chairman of the Board, "Cowboy" Bill Watts, on the interview stage in the arena. Looking corporate in his navy blue suit and kaki pants, Bill takes a deep breath before looking into the camera. SCHIAVONE I'm with the OAOAST Chairman "Cowboy" Bill Watts. Bill, a lot of news concerning the tag team division this week. Most notably, the injury sustained by Dan Black in Tokyo, Japan. WATTS That's right, Tony. Last Tuesday Black T, the current HI-YAH International tag team champions, went back to Japan to defend their titles against The Love Doctors. You were there, Tony, calling the action for our troops watching on the Armed Forces Network. During the match, as we'll show in a few seconds, Dan Black suffered a knee injury that'll keep him sidelined for a few weeks. We got word of Mr. Black's injury Wednesday night, so we decided not to report anything on HeldDown until all the tests were completed. Results showed a sprained right knee that will keep Mr. Black from wrestling for a few weeks. Professional wrestling is a tough spot, a man's sport. And just like any sport that involves physicality, injuries happen. But this particular injury seems more like karma than an unfortunate event, Tony. Luckily, for Black T, HI-YAH officials won't strip them of the International tag titles because they're exercising a contract clause that'll allow the reigning champion or champions to hold onto their title, even if they don't defend it within the mandatory 30 day period, if they believe the injury won't keep them out for long, a similar clause in our contracts as well. In the meantime, T-Bod will return to singles action until his partner recovers. Without further ado, let's show the fans what happened in Japan. LAST TUESDAY TOKYO DOME COURTESY: HI-YAH Dr. Steven Pigley nails Dan on the apron with a running forearm smash. Pigley moves out of the way of an attempted clothesline by T-Bod, who bounces off the ropes into a SPINEBUSTER! Dr. Steven holds onto his grip, lifting T-Bod back up, squating down as he keeps T-Bod's upperbody exposed. Dr. Max Anderson is on the top rope. SHOOTING STAR ELBOW DROP! Across the sternum of the co-holder of the HI-YAH International tag team championship. Pigley floats on top of T-Bod. 1... 2... 3-- No, Jivin' J.R. pulls the referee out of the ring. The referee EJECTS Jivin' J.R. from ringside. The Jivester pleds with the referee to reconsider, but he has none of it. In the ring, Dan Black tries to sneakup behind Dr. Steven, but Dr. Max hits him with a DDT. Dr. Steven SLINGSHOTS Dan OVER THE TURNBUCKLE! Dan lands awkwardly on the ring steps, clutching his knee. As the referee tries to re-enter the ring, Jivin' J.R. pulls him back to the arena floor, shoving him back. DR. FEELGOOD LOW BLOWS J.R. SCHIAVONE My God! It had no effect. All that fat must've protected Jivin' J.R.'s groin region, a cocoon of sorts. SUPERKICK! The good doctor superkicked J.R. Big boy's down. HI-YAH officials carry Jivin' J.R. backstage. Back in the ring, T-Bod grabs the HI-YAH tag title left in Black T's corner. Jivin' J.R. must've placed it there before he pulled out the referee. WHAM! The beltshot sends Dr. Max to the outside. T-Bod creeps up behind Dr. Steven Pigley. Swings...and misses! The referee gets back in the ring. TIME OF DEATH (Michinoku Driver)! SCHAIVONE He hit it! But as Pigley lifted T-Bod up, T-Bod's left foot caught the referee in the face, knocking him down. SCHIAVONE 1-2-3-4-5 -- the referee is down. What a bad break for The Love Doctors. Dr. Steven had T-Bod pinned for a 15 count. Not only is the referee down, so is Dr. Max & Dan Black, who's still holding his knee after taking a nasty bump on it. Dr. Steven joins Dr. Feelgood in checking on the referee. Feelgood slaps the ref, trying to snap him out of it. The referee is beginning to move. T-Bod grabs the tag title and whacks Pigley in the back of the head, sending him through the ropes, landing on Dr. Feelgood. T-Bod places the belt in the center of the ring, then goes outside to bring Dr. Steven back in. ATTITUDE AJUSTMENT PILEDRIVER ON THE CHAMPIONSHIP BELT. T-Bod covers Dr. Steven. The referee with the count. SCHIAVONE The referee didn't see a damn thing. Oh no. 1... 2... 3! * DING DING DING DING * The winners of the match is announced in Japanese. SCHIVAONE I can't believe it. What a way to lose. The Love Doctors had this match won, but by the skin on their teeth Black T managed to survive, thanks to Jivin' J.R. and the International tag team title belt. The referee hands the HI-YAH International tag titles to T-Bod who kisses the belts and holds 'em proudly in the air as he immediately attends to Dan outside. The video jumps to Dan being carted off on a stretcher. The fans watching the footage in the arena boo Black T retaining the titles as we cut back to Tony Schiavone & Bill Watts. WATTS Because of the chaotic finish, I got together with my Japanese counterpart, Jun Kayamaki, over the phone and we decided when Dan Black's ready to return to action, HI-YAH & the OAOAST will co-promote a return match between Black T & The Love Doctors for the HI-YAH International tag team title match on an OAOAST event to be determine. The Docs & Black T were informed of this information this weekend, and I believe we have comments from both teams. SCHAIVONE Lets go backstage, where Jesse "The Body" Ventura is with Black T. Jesse. Wearing a snake-skin jacket, sunglasses and U.S. flag bandana, Jesse "The Body" Ventura is in the locker room of Black T. Dan Black, on crutches, has his HI-YAH International tag title around his waist, T-Bod has his draped over his shoulder. Jivin' J.R. stands in the background, reading the lastest edition of OAOAST Magazine. Available now! VENTURA Thank you, Tony Schiavone. I'm here with the current HI-YAH International tag team champions Black T. Guys, I know your heartbroken because you won't be able to compete at Thanksgiving Star Wars. T-BOD That's right, Jesse. Our attorneys were in the final rounds of negotiations with the Global Party XChange for a title match at Thanksgiving Star Wars, but those jerkoffs probably paid off The Love Doctors to injury Dan's knee. Better yet, they didn't have the guts to do it in the States. But I believe good things happen to those who wait. Body, we're at the top of our game, the primes of our careers, a little set back won't derail us from our ultimate goal: regaining the OAOAST tag team titles. Understand this: We already lay claim to being the greatest foreign tag team by holding the HI-YAH International tag titles, recapturing the OAOAST tag straps would only solidify our position as being the greatest tag team in the world, period! Hell, when we hold the HI-YAH & OAOAST tag titles, it'll cement Black T as the greatest tag team of all time. It's not a matter of if, but when. Dan Black removes his black shades. DAN Love Doctors, and that whore you parade around with, Dr. Feelgood, don't think we've forgotten about you. Yeah, you may have injured my knee. Yeah, Bill Watts might be right, my injury could be karma from faking that knee injury at World Without End, which got Ima Hoe (a/k/a Dr. Feelgood) fired. Docs, put your hands on the screen and your ears to the speakers, because I want you to hear this loud and clearly. We have never been this angry, we have never been this focused, but rest assured, with every last breath in our bodies, we're gonna get you! T-BOD And Dr. Feelgood, you pretty little thing, once we beat The Love Doctors... DAN Again. T-BOD (CONT'D) That's right, again. We're going to answer the question Sean Connery asked in You Only Live Twice: Why do Asian girls taste different from other girls? Black T laugh. VENTURA Well there you have it, ladies and gents. Black T vow revenge on The Love Doctors, warn the Global Party XChange they plan on getting the OAOAST tag team championship back, and promise to find out why Asian girls taste different than other girls. Haha! I love it. Before we go back to Tony Schiavone & "Cowboy" Bill Watts, lets go to comments recorded by The Love Doctors, who are still touring in Japan. The Love Doctors & Dr. Feelgood stand in front of a Tokyo skyline backdrop. The Docs, in suits, do all of the talking, with Dr. Feelgood standing in the background looking sexy in her doctor's outfit. DR. MAX When we debuted in the OAOAST, people took us as a joke, just a couple of dreamers. Steven & I often asked each other if we were wrestlers who were doctors, or doctors who were wrestlers. All these months we thought it was the latter, all these months we were wrong. But when he defeated Black T in front of 18,000 people and over 6 million watching on television, we showed the world The Love Doctors were more than just two guys with a funny name, we were a team. Tell 'em, Dr. Steven. DR. STEVEN Our victory over Black T served notice to promoters around the world, particuarly HI-YAH, who offered us a contract to face Black T for the HI-YAH International tag team championship. This was it. This was our big breakthrough. But thanks to a title belt and that tub of lard Jivin' J.R., we got screwed out of the HI-YAH tag titles. We beat you once, we had you beaten again in Japan. The next time we meet, you better ask for forgiveness, because that night will be your last, as the Doctors prepare to give you a Lethal Ejection. Dr. Feelgood blows a kiss to the camera. SCHIAVONE Strong words from Black T & The Love Doctors. But, Bill, another issue that has garner controversy are the comments made by the South Central Militia. They promised to show the world their idea of affirmative action. Your response, sir. WATTS I couldn't care less if they don't worry about the company's problems, Tony. These gentlemen signed OAOAST contracts and I expect them to abide by the conduct guidelines in the contract. But I want to make it crystal clear to Marcellus Wallace & Vincent Ford, that any damage caused by their acts of violence will be met with heavy fines and possible suspensions. SCHIAVONE What about their accusations of being held down, no pun intended. WATTS That's a foolish accusation, Tony. My motto is, if you want higher caliber matches, you gotta earn them. But if these guys wanna talk to talk, let's see if they can walk to walk. Because tonight, right here, in that very ring, they're gonna be able to prove they hang with the big boys, as they'll hook 'em up with the Global Party XChange for the World's tag team championship! Schiavone is taken aback by the announcement, taking a minute to compose himself while the fans pop like crazy. Schaivone & Watts turn their heads away from the camera, where, out of nowhere, Jim Cornette, the manager of the New New Midnight Express, former OAOAST tag team champions, walks onto the interview stage, stroking his tennis racket. CORNETTE Well, well, well. "Cowboy" Bill Watts, Chairman of the Board. What, did Mark Madden send a past interview to a Hall of Fame African-American working in a high-ranking position? I mean, how else would it explain you giving the South Central Militia a tag team title match when the New New Midnight Express keep getting robbed during in our title matches? Allow me to refresh your memory. At World Without End, the New New Midnight Express were on the verge of winning their second OAOAST tag team title until JINGUS popped up from underneath the ring, like a bag of Jiffy Pop popcorn, and Clawslammed "Narcissistic" Ned, allowing the Global Party XChange to retain the tag team championship. Then last week, Hell's Hitmen set 3 dummies, who are obviously supposed to be me and the New New Midnight Express, on fire, basically threatening to do that to us. Of course, they received a free pass. Then again, if Jingus had Clamslammed a member of the Global Party XChange, costing them the tag titles, you probably would of signed an immediate return match. WATTS Cornette, you're still the same crybaby I knew 20 years ago. You believe Hell's Hitmen cost you the tag titles at World Without End, right? CORNETTE Right. WATTS Well here's right I'm gonna do for you. Next week on HeldDown, we're gonna have a singles match -- JINGUS versus "Narcissistic" Ned Blanchard. Jim Cornette is visibly upset. He wanted to hear Watts say the New New Midnight Express will receive another shot at the OAOAST tag team titles. Cornette yanks the microphone away from Watts' hand. WATTS Get your hands off me! I don't want to have my blood tested. CORNETTE Yeah, you need a test, not for blood but for IQ. Let me tell you somethin'... WATTS No! Lemme tell you something, James E. Before you ripped that microphone out of my hands, you didn't let me finish what I was going to say. I'm also gonna add a stipulation to the New New Midnight Express-Hell's Hitmen match at Thanksgiving Star Wars, Sunday night, November the 28th. If your team wins fair and square, you'll get a shot at the World's tag team titles at our December pay-per-view event. Cornette nods his head, smirking. WATTS But if you lose, the New New Midnight Express will be prohibited from receiving a title shot for a year. That'll mean from November 28, 2004-November 28, 2005. Now, if you'd excuse me. Bill exits the stage, walking right past Jim Cornette. SCHIAVONE What bombshells dropped within the last few minutes. Cornette rips the mic from Schiavone, who rolls his eyes back. CORNETTE Watts, when the New New Midnight Express beat Hell's Hitmen, and we will, once we capture the gold in December, Simon, Ned & I will walk right into your office and spit in your stinkin' face, you dirty, rotten, lyin', cheatin', piece of you-know-what. We're gonna talk the whole damn world by storm. Cornette slams the mic on the stage, leaving Tony Schiavone to pick it up. SCHIAVONE Well... Later tonight, the South Central Militia versus the Global Party XChange for the OAOAST tag team titles, and JINGUS will face Narcissistic Ned next week. Michael, Coach & Caboose, back to you. *to the front!* Public Enemy's "Don't Believe the Hype" blasts through the sound speakers, the crowd booing at the top of their lungs as the S.C.M. emerge on the rampway. Marcellus "One-Eye" Wallace (a/k/a Moe) & Vincent "Whitey" Ford gangsta strut down the aisle, their faces covered in bandanas, holding up their middle fingers in the air. Moe tells a female fan, who can't be older than 14-years-old, to suck his dick, gesturing his thang is taller than a Barbie doll -- and probably a whole helluva thicker. Zing! COLE We, uh, obviously apologize for that fans. CABOOSE Hey, the guy pimp'd his sister, so he's probably telling her she has a promising future. Too bad she's white. The S.C.M. scare white people, you know? COLE (exasperated) Will you stop! CABOOSE Nation of discrimation. BOOM-BOOM! COACH I love white chicks, even the movie. Damn, I can taste the juice. Mm-mmm! But really, da Coach loves all the pretty laaaadies. * DING DING DING DING * BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall, and it is for the OAOAST World tag team championship! Introducing first, from South Central L.A., weighing 535 pounds, Marcellus "One-Eye" Wallace & Vincent "Whitey" Ford, THE SOUTH CENTRAL MILITIA! In a world full of posers, phonies, and pure wannabee's there finally emerges a group which has come to set the record straight. so, all you suckers better recognize, ya heard can you say uhhh na na na na... BUFFER Their opponents, from Hotlanta & the 313 respectively, they are the OAOAST World tag team champions, Scotty Static & Johnny "Jam" Jackson, THE GLOBAL PARTY XCHANGE! As Scotty & Johnny remove their championship belts, the South Central Militia attack them from behind. Just before the bell rings, Whitey nails Scotty with his own tag title, avoiding a DQ. The SCM completely dominate GPX in the corner. Static ducks a right from Moe, knocking him down to the mat with a SPINING-WHEEL KICK. Vincent misses a clothesline on Scotty, and gets leveled with a DOUBLE DDT from Scotty & Johnny. Ford rolls out of the ring. GPX duck a clothesline from Marcellus, sending him over the top to the floor with a DOUBLE-TEAM CLOTHESLINE. Moe & Whitey remain down outside the ring. When Scotty springboards to the top rope, the fans stand on their feet, knowing the high-flying Static has something big in mind. Scotty waits for Marcellus & Vincent to get up. SHOOTING STAR LARIAT ONTO THE SCM! Scotty tosses Marcellus back in the ring, near the corner. TILT-A-WHIRL HEADSCISSORS, followed by a STANDING MOONSAULT. Scotty covers "One-Eye." 1... 2... KICKOUT. Johnny "Jam" Jackson awaits the tag from his partner. SLAP! J.J. Jackson quickly climbs to the top. Still inside the ring, Scotty SLAMS J.J. OFF THE TOP ROPE, LANDING ON MOE'S CHEST WITH A SOMMERSAULT LEGDROP! 1... 2... Ford breaks up the pin, kicking Johnny in the face. Jackson rolls over on his back, only to get caught in a DRIVE-BY. Vincent "Whitey" Ford's running forearm smash. Vinny drags Moe back to their corner. Tag made. The cover. 1... 2... SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK BY SCOTTY! COLE If the Global Party XChange retain the tag titles, we'll look back at this moment in the match as the moment Scotty Static saved the tag titles for his team. After getting popped in the face with a big boot, then receiving another blow to the head with a running forearm smash, I don't think Johnny would of kicked out. But that, of course, is my opinion. CABOOSE This may be the only time I'll ever agree with you, Cole. I think you're right, Johnny still has this dazed look on his face. He might have a concussion. Referee Charles Robinson orders Scotty out of the ring, but Vinny decides to do that for him -- CLOTHESLINING HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE. But Scotty LANDS ON HIS FEET! Static pulls Ford down, dragging Whitey outside the ring, ramming him shoulderfirst into the ringpost, then throwing him back into the ring. While all that was happening, Marcellus "One-Eye" Wallace was going crazy because the referee wouldn't let him out of his corner while his partner was getting rammed into the ringpost, thus missing the illegal activity of one Scotty Static. Johnny & Whitey are both down. Charles begins counting both men out. 1... 2... 3... Scotty repeatedly slaps the top turnbuckle, leading the fans in a chant of "JOHNNY! JOHNNY! JOHNNY!" 4... 5... Both men begin stirring around. 6... 7... Whitey & Johnny are near their corners, their partners outstretching their hands as far as they can without letting go of the tag rope. 8... 9... TAGS MADE! COLE Scotty & Marcellus are your legal men. Whitey & Johnny lie on the ring apron. Moe & Scotty charge towards each other, with Scotty leapfrogging over his bigger and stronger opponent. He knows he has to move at a rapid pace to avoid the strength of Marcellus. Static catches Moe with a HURRICARANA! Hooks the legs. 1... 2... KICKOUT! VICTORY ROLL. 1... 2... MOE KICKS OUT AGAIN! COLE As I said, Scotty wants to use his speed as a weapon. And he certainly has thus far. Static whips -- No, Moe counters the Irish-Whip into one of his own. Whitey enters the ring. THE JAILBREAK! What impact! The South Central Militia hit their spear-running forearm finisher. Could we have new champions? 1... 2... 3-- No, JOHNNY WITH THE DOUBLE-AXEHANDLE TO THE BACK! CABOOSE Damnit! Referee Charles Robinson's hands was inches--I mean inches--away from slamming the mat for the third time. Funny that the referee is white as snow, isn't it? COLE Oh shut up! That doesn't even deserve a response. COACH Pier-Six! Pier-Six brawl! All 4 men brawl all over the ring. Charles Robinson gets between Scotty Static & Marcellus Wallace, but he's shoved away. Robinson tries to break up the two once more, but again he's shoved out of the way. That forces Charles to call for the bell, to the disapproval of the crowd. J.J. Jackson with the facebuster on Whitey Ford. Whitey bails out of the ring. * DING DING DING DING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, referee Charles Robinson has ruled this bout a double disqualification. The Global Party XChange retain the tag team championship. Johnny helps pry Moe off Scotty, but Whitey hits him from behind with a STEEL CHAIR. Whitey cocks the chair back to nail Scotty, but he DROPKICKS THE CHAIR BACK INTO FORD'S FACE. Scotty jumps on top of Whitey, pounding his face with ultimate fighting-style rights and lefts. Johnny places the steel chair between the top and middle turnbuckle in the corner. As he turns around...Moe SPEARS HIM INTO THE CHAIR! Marcellus rips the chair out between the turnbuckles and is ready to hammer the fallen J.J. Jackson, until Charles Robinson rips the chair away from Marcellus' hand. The two exchange a few harsh words, then Moe kicks Charles in the stomach, making him drop the chair. Wallace picks up the illegal object and BASHES CHARLES' SKULL WITH THE CHAIR. Scotty Static jumps on Marcellus' back, bashing his forearms across Moe's face. Various OAOAST officials rush to the ring, checking on Charles Robinson and seperating the postmatch brawl between the Global Party XChange & the South Central Militia. COLE We gotta get things under control here. Fans, we'll be right back with our main event! *commercial*

(Return from break) GM Bill Watts' Office. The Phenom barges in. PHENOM I WANT PHEONIX~! WATTS I'm sorry, there's no more room for matches for the show. PHENOM MUST GET PHEONIX~! (Grabs the Cowboy by his coller) WATTS Okay, okay! At Thanksgiving Star Wars, it'll be you vs. Pheonix. PHENOM What kind of name is 'Thanksgiving Star Wars'? WATTS Don't ask me, I didn't name it. PHENOM Oh. Well, make sure Pheonix is ready. Because if he's not, I'm going to fight him anyway! The Phenom walks out of the GM's office, slaming the door off. *to the ring, baby! northside southside worldwide!* CUE: "Somebody Told Me" by The Killers COLE Guys, I saw Ragdoll in the back earlier today, and he looked PISSED. CABOOSE Can you blame him?! I'M pissed! COACH I know! He missed The White Stripes! COLE ...No...I... CABOOSE I hate you...it is SO obvious to me now. I flat-out hate you. -The fans boos are intense, but soon rise as the curtain flies open, revealing the HI-YAH World Champion. Ragdoll doesn't waste time with posing, but instead, walks angrily down to the ring. He pulls out a pack of cigarettes and takes one out as he reaches the ring. A fan puts his arm over the guardrail, lighting a Zippo flame. Ragdoll moves over to him and lights his cigarette, before sliding into the ring. He makes a cut-throat motion with his hand, causing the music to cease. Ragdoll rubs his eyes with his cigarette hand as he pulls a mic out of his pocket. FANS "AX-EL! AX-EL! AX-EL! AX-EL!" -Ragdoll looks out at all of them as he takes a drag off his cigarette. He blows the smoke out slowly before raising the mic to his lips. RAGDOLL "....You assholes done?" -The fans start booing again, even louder this time, before breaking into another "AX-EL" chant. Ragdoll shakes his head slowly and takes another drag off his death stick. COLE Ragdoll could blow at any second...he's a ticking time bomb. RAGDOLL "All right...What a F*%@ing week it has been...first...my wife, Jasmine ditches me to go see The White Stripes...THEN, I get a call from my brother, saying due to my current actions, I'm not allowed at the Baker home for Thanksgiving...and then...to top it all the F&*K OFF...I see that AXEL has returned. Not only returned...but is in the Elimination Chamber..." -The cheers grow wild as Ragdoll takes another drag. A shot of a fan in the audience holding up an "AXEL IS MY HERO" sign is shown. RAGDOLL "...However...last I checked, I turned Axel's already disgusting face into a fucking Charcoal Briquette. So...my question is...WHO THE FUCK DOES BILL WATTS THINK HE IS?!" -The fans boo as Ragdoll glares at the entranceway. RAGDOLL "In fact...Watts?! Get your fat ass out here NOW! COLE WHOA!! -The fans erupt in cheers as Ragdoll takes off his suit coat and throws it to the outside. As he does this, Bill Watts comes walking out from the back, causing the fans to cheer louder. He slowly walks down to the ring as Ragdoll paces back and forth. Watts grabs a mic from a gopher on the floor and climbs into the ring. WATTS "What's your problem now, Baker?" RAGDOLL "My problem? MY PROBLEM?! My problem, Watts, is AXEL being in the Chamber match...THAT'S my problem. I mean...I ended that little Koala-fuckers career last month! He's Nothing! Him being in the Chamber is a disgrace to the match!!" WATTS "...Baker...is that FEAR I smell on you?" -The fans erupt with cheers and chants of "YOU'RE A PUSS-Y *clap clap clapclapclap*" Ragdoll is visibly upset, and his temper is visibly rising as Watts laughs at him. RAGDOLL "Watts, that smell would be your daughter, and that's only cuz I had five bucks on me last night." WATTS "Watch your tounge, Baker!" RAGDOLL "OR WHAT?! WHAT THE FUCK WILL YOU DO?! YOU FAT PIECE OF SHIT! WHAT, YOU GONNA HAVE ME ARRESTED AND ESCORTED OUT OF THE BUILDING?! FIRE ME? WHAT?" -Ragdoll is now right in the face of Bill Watts, who is holding back from hitting Ragdoll in the face. RAGDOLL "....Hey Watts...is that FEAR I smell on you? C'mon...hit me..." -The fans are going crazy! The entire arena is filled with people yelling "KNOCK HIM OUT!!" WATTS "...Austin...nothing that you can say will get me to take Axel out of the match...If you were a real man, you wouldn't be complaining right now." -Watts then backs away and starts to climb through the ropes before stopping. He climbs back in and walks up to Ragdoll. WATTS "Speaking of you being a real man...that smell? Why do you think Jasmine ditched you?" -The entire arena lets out one giant belly laugh as Watts throws down his mic and turns his back to the enraged Ragdoll. Ragdoll suddenly leaps forward and grabs Watts by the head, slamming it down to the mat. Ragdoll stands quickly, driving his size 10 shoe into the face of the General Manager. COLE Oh Come On!! CABOOSE WATTS HAD IT COMING!! -Ragdoll backs up a little bit as Watts stands slowly. Some fans in the audience call it. FANS "DEVIL DOLL!!" -As soon as Watts is on a knee....WHAM!!! Watts crumbles to the mat, clutching his head, as Ragdoll stands triumphant. CUE: "Somebody Told Me" by The Killers COLE Ragdoll is comPLETELY insane! You cannot lay your hands on Bill Watts and not expect repurcussions! -Ragdoll slowly slides out of the ring as the fans boos drown out the music. *to the backstage "area"* We cut backstage, where Josh Matthews stands in the interview area with a mic. JMATH What's crackin' pimps?! This is J.Math back here for HeldDOWN~! It's been a helluva night so far, and I just wanted to update everyone on Tina's condition. As you know, she was injured earlier tonight when Kevin Yancy Taylor shattered a light tube right in her face. She was taken to the hospital for observation, and right now, the reports are coming in. It's still a little bit early, but doctors have been speculating, and while the injury doesn't look like anything TOO serious, there's talk of her needing eye surgery to correct the damage inflicted on her tonight. Now-- TAYLOR (off camera) HOLD ON! HOLD ON! HOLD ON!!!!! The crowd boos in the arena as Kevin Yancy Taylor walks into the picture, a big smile on his face. J. MATH Taylor...Kevin Yancy Taylor... TAYLOR That's my name! Don't wear it out! J. MATH Wha...what are you doing here? TAYLOR What am I doing here, Matthews?! Clearly, I've been doing something that the Cubs here in Chicago could only DREAM of doing! I mean, did you see that swing earlier tonight?! Taylor reenacts the scene from earlier on, holding up his hands as if he were holding a baseball bat. After choking up on the imaginary bat, Taylor rears back and swings... TAYLOR BAM!!!!!! RIGHT OUT OF THE BALLPARK!!!! It was great, wasn't it?! J. MATH Ya know, you've got a lotta nerve showing your face around here right now. Don't you know that Panther's looking for you right now?! TAYLOR Panther?! PANTHER?! Oh pish, Josh Matthews! Don't make me laugh. Do you think for one second that I...Kevin Yancy Taylor...could be afraid of someone like Panther?! I mean, really! I could care less if Panther was looking for me! Why...in fact, I wish he were here right now!!! J. MATH ...really? TAYLOR Yes, really! Panther is a joke, Matthews! An absolute joke, and if he were here right now, I'd look him right in the eye and tell him right to his face exactly what I think of him. J. MATH (glancing off camera) ...REALLY?! TAYLOR YES! REALLY!!! (scoffs) What the hell did they teach you in interviewing school?! (rolls eyes) It doesn't matter, because right here tonight, I proved my dominance over Panther! I've proved it over Tina, and if there's anyone out there right now who doubts that I...Kevin Yancy Taylor...am indeed the most intelligent man in ALLLL of wrestling, then...then...(a dark shadow falls over Taylor) aww nuts! The camera pans right, to reveal Panther standing right behind Taylor, still clad in his blood-stained jersey with a look of intensity in his eyes. Taylor trembles as he turns around to face Panther. TAYLOR (nervous laughter) Um...hey man! I--uh...I was just talking about you! Panther grips Taylor up by the collar, drawing a huge pop from the crowd. TAYLOR HEY, HEY! LISTEN, PAL! I DIDN'T MEAN IT!!! HONEST!! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!!! I MEAN...HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW SHE'D GET IN THE WAY OF THAT LIGHT TUBE?! PANTHER (through clinched teeth) I'll kill you... TAYLOR Wait!!! Wait a minute, Panther! Listen to reason! Listen to....NOW, YOU IDIOTS! NOW!!!!!! COLE What in the world?! Panther shoves Taylor to the floor, just managing to duck a clothesline from Illuminator 1. He nails him with a right hand, and the two begin to trade blows, at which point, Illuminator 2 comes up from behind and knocks Panther to his knees with a double axehandle. COLE It was a setup, damn it!!!! The Illuminators...the Illuminators are doing a number on Panther in the back. Taylor watches on with glee as the two continue to go to work on Panther. Illuminator 2 grabs a double chickenwing on Panther and yanks him back to his feet, at which point, Illuminator 1 lines Panther up, rears back and charges with a right hand, but Panther moves, and Illuminator 2 catches the shot square on the jaw! The crowd pops loudly as Panther grabs Illuminator 1 and launches him through the interview set. He then turns back to Illuminator 2 and begins hammering him with hard right hands, staggering him before kicking him in the midsection and dropping him with a PANTHER CUTTER!!!!!! Illuminator 1 pulls himself out of the rubble of the interview set, only to catch a Panther Cutter of his own! COLE PANTHER CUTTER!!!!!! PANTHER CUTTER ON ILLUMINATOR 1!!!! Taylor's setup backfired!!! The Illuminators have been taken out by Panther. CABOOSE Kev, you may want to get out of there! A look of fear forms on Taylor's face as Panther turns to him with a sinister glare and starts toward him. Taylor takes a couple of steps back before doing an about face and running in the opposite direction. Panther gives chase. COLE The chase is on, ladies and gentlemen!! Panther with revenge on his mind...Taylor's trying to get out of dodge! CABOOSE FASTER, KEV! FASTER!!! HE'S GAINING ON YOU!!!! Panther chases Taylor up to the gorilla position, through the curtains and out to the arena. The crowd pops as the two men appear on stage, at which point, Taylor trips and falls down!!!! CABOOSE Oh no! COLE He fell! TAYLOR FELL!! Chants of "fuck him up, Panther, fuck him up" break out across the arena as Panther walks up to the fallen Taylor, his right fist cocked, ready to strike at any second. Taylor holds his extended palm into the air, hoping to keep Panther at bay, and just when it seems as if Taylor is done for... ...BROCK AUSSTIN rushes out from the locker room and floors Panther with a Clothesline of Mass Destruction!!!!!! COACH WHAT THE HELL?!?!?! COLE BROCK AUSSTIN!!!!!!! THAT'S BROCK AUSSTIN!!!!!!! CABOOSE WHERE THE HELL DID HE COME FROM?!?!?! The crowd is in shock as Brock lifts Panther back to his feet, then buries a knee deep into his gut. One more time doubles Panther over, at which point, Brock drags him over to the edge of the stage and pulls him into a standing headscissors. The crowd begins to clamor in the background. COLE Brock Ausstin...Brock Ausstin is back, damn it! And what the hell is he doing?! COACH He's got Panther at the edge of that stage... COLE Don't tell me...NO!!!!!! With Taylor rooting him on in the background, Brock wraps his arms around Panther's waist, whips him up onto his shoulders and powerbombs him...10 FEET DOWN ONTO THE CONCRETE!!!!!!!!! The crowd is in shock, and chants of "HOLY SHIT" echo throughout the arena as Brock looks down at Panther's fallen body from the stage. With a big smile on his face, Taylor pats Brock on the shoulder, then raises his right hand into the air as a chorus of boos fills the arena. CABOOSE Gee, I think we'd better get another ambulance ready. (snickers) COLE That's not funny. Brock Ausstin just powerbombed the hell outta Panther...Panther is down and out on the arena floor and Brock...don't tell me...has he aligned himself with Taylor?!?!? Brock and Taylor continue to look on as EMTs rush to the aid of the unconscious Panther. *commercial*

(The arena goes black.) Cue: 'Seven Nation Army' (Mixed reaction, some Yays) (Light up on the Phenom. He walks to the ring.) *ding ding* BUFFER The following match is schedualed for one fall. Introducing first, from Santa Cruz, Portugal, weighing in at 210 pounds, THA PHENOM! COACH Well, if you were watching, moments ago The Phenom challenged Jarvo Aussie to a match. COLE And that's just wrong. Only GM Bill Watts can make matches! CABOOSE Or Anglesault. COLE When's the last time you saw Anglesault make a match? CABOOSE Good point. Cue: 'Frantic' (Scattered boos) BUFFER And introducing, accomponied to the ring by the 24/7 Champion, Cameron S. Aussie III, from Melbourne, Australia, weighing in at 300 lbs., JARVOOOOO OSSSY! COACH That guy looks like he has a brick shoved half-way up his (bleep). (Jarvo gives the crowd the bird.) CABOOSE Watch your language! We're not on cable, you know. COACH Shut the (bleep) up! I can curse all the (bleep) I want! (bleep)(bleep)(bleep) (An FCC agent appears) FCC AGENT Sir, you're coming with us. COACH What? (Coachman is grabbed and taken to who knows where.) (The Phenom takes off his jacket, while Jarvo rips his shirt off. However...) Phenom powers Jarvo before he's done! CABOOSE That's gotta hurt! *ding ding ding* Phenom goes for the knee with kicks. 1! 2! 3! 4! Jarvo trips Phenom! As Phenom gets up, he's hit with a BIG Boot! Jarvo attemps a neckwrench, but it's been reversed! Phenom punches Jarvo a bit. Jarvo gets a thumb to the eye! Did the ref see it? NO! While Jarvo is holding his eye, Phenom hits a clothesline! Legdrop, and Jarvo don't look so good. Coverup! One! Two! Thkickout! COLE Well, Jarvo isn't showing much strength in his first fight, isn't he, Coach? (Cole looks to where Coachman would sit, but he isn't there) CABOOSE Hey, wanker! Call the match! Chinlock. Hits from both sides, Jarvo with forearms and chops, but Phenom does the Irish Whip! Boot to the neck! Coverup! One! Twkickout! Corner whip, and Jarvo hits a flying elbow smash! He ducks the big boot, chop blocks Phenom, and hits a Whitten Slam! Coverup! One! Kickout! CABOOSE I guess you underestimated Jarvo, huh? COLE Will you shut up already? As Phenom gets up, Jarvo hits the Western Bulldog! Another coverup! One! Two! Tkickout! COLE He's doing great! (Expects a witty remark from Coachman, who, again, isn't there.) CABOOSE Miss him already? COLE You could say that. Phenom's angry, as he gnashes his teeth. Missile dropkick! He goes for the DDT, but Jarvo gets out! Jarvo attemps a clothesline, but Phenom cuts him off! Superplex by Phenom! Jarvo gets up, but Phenom uses the opportunity for a Hellraiser! CABOOSE Wait a minute! COLE Is that who I think it is? Sure enough, Phenoix runs down and gets in the ring. Phenom easily punchs him out, but is distracted long enough for Jarvo to hit The Yobbo! Coverup! One! Two! Three~! *ding ding ding* (Boos) BUFFER He is you winner, JARVOOOOO OSSSY! COLE What Pheonix did there was unfair! CABOOSE He sure looks happy about it, though! COLE You know, I think we could do this show without Coachman. COACH Not so fast! The Coach appears, tattered and torn. COACH You ain't going anywhere without me! COLE Go to commercial... COACH NO!! God, no, anywehre but the commercial!! Caboose smacks Coach across the back of the head. CABOOSE Get ahold of yourself! Jeez. COLE Well, luckily for Coach, we've got a situation brewing backstage! *cut backstage* In the Thrillogy dressing room, Calvin Szechstein sits alone, his facial expression showing a look of weariness and concern, as his stress level reached a fever pitch after making the accusation that stablemate Zack Malibu was the one who put their other ally, Hoff, on the shelf and cost him his recently won World Title. A yell can be heard on the other side of the door, and soon enough, Zack Malibu pulls the door open, he and Candie entering and looking none too pleased with the earlier event. Calvin just looks up, and says nothing. ZACK Goddman rookies. Trying to get one over on me? ME? Do they know who I... CALVIN EVERYONE knows who you are, give it a rest. The deadpan response shuts Zack up, as he looks over at Calvin, eyes widened with a twisted glare. ZACK What? CALVIN I said... ZACK AND I HEARD YOU! WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM? YOU STILL THINK I DID IT? HUH? IS MY WORD NO GOOD TO YOU? Calvin calmly gets up, and walks over, so that he's eye to eye with Zack. Candie tries to seperate the two, but Calvin nudges her away easily. CALVIN Your word means nothing to me, or anyone else. You don't have the mentality to back up anything you say, and quite frankly, you don't have any proof it WASN'T you. ZACK You can't prove that it WAS me, though. CALVIN Oh no? Please Zack...who else would want him to fail so soon? Who else sees him as a threat? The hottest rising rookie in OAOAST history was on OUR side, but you couldn't handle being out of the spotlight. Well congratulations, it's back on you now...and EVERYONE is noticing. ZACK What's that mean. CALVIN It means no one gives a damn what happens to you know, but they all want to hurt you back. ZACK Does this go for you too? Calvin says nothing. ZACK DOES THIS GO FOR YOU TOO? CALVIN All I gotta say it stay out of my way. Oh, and I know what you were going to ask me, because I saw the little GPX debacle...so I know you need a partner, and all I can say to you is... ...don't bother asking me. Zack steps back, stunned, as Calvin walks past him. Malibu turns around, and they lock eyes again, before Calvin shakes his head in disgust and slams the door, leaving Candie and Zack stunned before we cut to a commercial break. *commercial*

BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall. Already in the ring, weighing 610 pounds, Kevin "Donkeylips" Dobson & El Cubano. Their opponents, making their way to the ring, from the Depths of Hell, weighing 687 pounds, Hell's Hitmen! COACH El Cubano? Is that the same mask man who wrestled in WCW? CABOOSE Yes. COACH He's from Cuba. CABOOSE Yes. COACH You want me to stop asking these stupid questions, right? CABOOSE Yes. "Hit Me Verdi One More Time" plays, Hell's Hitmen powerwalk to the ring, the fans' cheers getting louder and louder each week. Still wearing their straitjackets, JINGUS is carrying a black plastic bag in his right hand. COLE Last week we saw one of the damnest things in OAOAST history, as Hell's Hitmen tossed two dummies dressed as the New New Midnight Express and a blowup doll, in a polyster suit with tennis racket, who is obviously supposed to represent the New New Midnights manager Jim Cornette, into burning trashcans. Cornette was irate at the footage, demanding to know why Hell's Hitmen get a "free pass," saying they're threatening to set him, Simon & Ned on fire. Now, I don't think that's the case but... CABOOSE It's just like you and the Board of Directors to come up with excuses for Hell's Hitmen. These guys are freaks! They ought to be in movies by Wes Craven & John Carpetner, not a wrestling ring. That's why Corny's talking about taking out an insurance policy. COLE Yeah, so Cornette can receive Simon & Ned's money in the probable event they're slaughtered by Hell's Hitmen at Thanksgiving Star Wars. CABOOSE You even said it yourself, Cole -- Hell's Hitmen want to slaughter the NNMX. That's why Corny needs the insurance, and not because he'll collect the money, either. James E. ought to sue you for slandering his name. COLE (sarcastically) Well maybe I'll pay for the insurance. CABOOSE Now that I think about it, the OAOAST should pay for it. Kevin "Donkeylips" Dobson & El Cubano waste no time going to work on Hell's Hitmen, jumping them as they enter the ring. Donkeylips & Cubano know they don't have a chance in hell of beating the Hitmen, so they're going all out in effort to get a quick pinfall. The Hitmen no sell their opponents punches/forearms to the back. The Sadist shoves El Cubano back, and nails him flush in the face with a BIG BOOT! GUTWRENCH POWERBOMB by JINGUS on Donkeylips. The two freaks from Hell simultaneously hit their respective finishers on Donkeylips & El Cubano. JINGUS with the CLAWSLAM on the 350 pound Donkeylips, Sadist with the TRIPLE POWERBOMB INTO PIN on El Cubano. 1... 2... 3! * DING DING DING * BUFFER Here are your winners: HELL'S HITMEN! Wanting to send a message to the New New Midnight Express, Hell's Hitmen continue to beat up Donkeylips & El Cubano. DOUBLE CLAWSLAM on Cubano. They kick him out of the ring, leaving them left with Kevin "Donkeylips" Dobson. JINGUS grabs the plastic bag he brought to the ring, pulling out a POLYSTER JACKET. The Hitmen put the jacket on Donkeylips, then whip him into the ropes. DOUBLE-TEAM FLAPJACK! The Sadist climbs to the top. JINGUS helps launch Sadist off the top, who comes down on the jacket-wearing Donkeylips with a FLYING ELBOW TO THE THROAT. COLE I know a lot of people who'd love to see Jim Cornette's big mouth silenced, including yours truely, but if James E. wasn't worried before, he better now. COACH Let me just get in my token comment after being quiet most of the match. CABOOSE Just go back to eating your sandwhich. Hell's Hitmen growl in the ring as we go to... the backstage area! *The scene opens up with an image of Chris Stevens dressed in his wrestling gear* “BOOOOOOOOO!” *Of course, the crowd boos accordingly upon seeing Stevens stand before them. With an anxious grin on his face, he sets his eyes on something to the right of him* STEVENS So…..what do you say? *The camera peels back to find Drek Stone standing next to him, dressed in his wrestling geat as well* “BOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *Once again, the crowd jeers upon seeing two of the more hated heels in the entire company. Drek stares at Stevens for a moment, then allows a smile to cross his face* DREK So you think we should form an alliance before the Elimination Chamber? “BOOOOOOOOOOO!” As if you had to ask what the crowd response would be. STEVENS That’s exactly what I’m saying. Drek, there really is no doubt that we are the two strongest guys heading into the Elimination Chamber. Stronger than Sly. Stronger than Crystal. Stronger than Axel. Even stronger than Ragdoll. Both of us. Imagine what we could do if we actually worked together! We’d be unstoppable! *Drek nods his head slowly* DREK ….you’re making some good points here. STEVENS Drek, I know you dislike Sly Sommers as much as I do. Your comments last week were exactly the right thing a conceited prick like him needed to hear. And let’s not forget Axel shouldn’t even be in the damn match. DREK Right. And I mean, let’s be honest. No one likes Crystal. STEVENS Exactly. We share the same hatred for these wrestlers. I have a feeling nothing would please you more than to see none of them walk out of Thanksgiving Star Wars with the OAOAST Heavyweight Championship. And I’m exactly the same way! *There sits a momentary pause between the two men* DREK Chris, come on. Look what you’re proposing. There’s no doubt in my mind that we can take out Sly, Crystal, Axel, and Ragdoll if we worked together. I mean, I’m sure I could do it by myself. But the two of us together would be an unstoppable force. But then what? What happens when we get rid of those four? STEVENS Then we battle it out for the Heavyweight Title! May the better man win. DREK …..we’re really the only two superstars in this match that deserved a Heavyweight Title match anyway. It would only be fitting if it came down to both of us. STEVENS Exactly. *The two man share a glance for a moment, while Drek ponders it over* DREK You know, Chris, you really make an incredible amount of sense. In fact, you’re one of the more likable superstars here! That might not really be saying a lot, but you should be honored anyway. *Drek extends his hand and Stevens immediately grab it. The two shake hands as the crowd jeers at this new partnership* DREK And we start tonight. We prove to everyone out there exactly what kind of force we are. Sly and Crystal want to believe they’re the two favorites in this matchup? They want to act like the Heavyweight Championship is going to come down to them again?! Well, Chris, it’s up to us to prove them wrong. It’s up to us to prove every single fan out there tonight wrong. This is our time to make our careers. And you better be ready to seize this opportunity like I am! STEVENS Oh, I am, Drek. *Another momentary pause as Stevens stares down at the handshake* STEVENS You better believe I am. *The camera focuses in on Drek and Stevens continuing to shake hands for a few seconds, until it cuts away to Triple C at the announcing booth* CABOOSE I never realized just what kind of mastermind Chris Stevens was! Guys, do you realize what this means? The two strongest guys in the Elimination Chamber have just decided to join up! COLE While I would debate the idea of them being the two strongest guys, there is no debating that this could spell huge trouble for the other four superstars in this matchup. COACH Guys, this may sound good now, but how likely is this partnership to actually stand? Drek and Chris have such huge egos! Are they actually going to manage to keep their partnership all the way to the end of the Elimination Chamber - or is it bound to just explode beforehand? CABOOSE Of course it’s not going to explode! You will never meet two guys with more morals and convictions than Drek Stone and Chris Stevens. They have promised each other - and sealed it was a handshake - that they will have each other’s backs at Thanksgiving Star Wars! And come hell or high water, that agreement will be kept! COLE Folks, keep in mind. Later tonight, we will be seeing Drek Stone and Chris Stevens team up for the first time EVER to face Sly Sommers and Crystal. Are we going to see just how strong this partnership could be? Or is it doomed to fail from the beginning? CABOOSE Why do you keep saying that?! It will not fall apart! There’s absolutely no way! You guys better accept the idea that either Drek Stone or Chris Stevens will be walking out of the Elimination Chamber with the Heavyweight Title! It’s going to happen, and everyone will be happy that it did! COLE Lots of mysteries heading into the Elimination Chamber in ten days! CABOOSE I can't wait! I really can't! COLE Either way, let’s get down to the ring for our next matchup. *to the ring, camera~!* We come back to a shot of The Solo Brothers in the ring, wearing generic matching tights, with generic music playing in the background. BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! In the ring, at a combined weight of five hundred eighty pounds, Luke and Johnny, THE SOLO BROTHERS! CUE: ‘Frantic’ by Metallica COLE We are set for Tag Team Action! Saxon and Kevin Jason Aussie make their way out to ringside, both dressed in their ring attire – Saxon in Blue and Orange Hawaiian-style board shorts, Kevin Jason in Green and Gold Aussie tights. Behind them are Cameron and Jarvo, who take their position on the outside. Kevin Jason and Saxon slide into the ring, as Michael Buffer starts to make the introduction. BUFFER And their opponents, from- COLE Hey! Kevin Jason grabs the Mic from Michael Buffer and begins to do his own introductions. KJ F**k off Buffer, I can do your job better than you could ever hope! And these jobbers' opponents, representing the best new group in the OAOAST today, AWOL, from the greatest country in the world, Australia, and at a total combined weight of a slim, trim, buff, beautiful, three hundred and eighty-five pounds… ‘The Looks’ Saxon Aussie and me, ‘The Mouthpiece’ Kevin Jason Aussie, The Full Blooded Aussies – FBA! COLE Give me a break! KJ throws down the mic and the referee rings the bell to start the match. *DING DING DING* Kevin Jason runs at Luke Solo and the match is underway. KJ connects with some hard forearms to the temple of Luke, before sending him for an Irish Whip. Luke comes off the ropes, and KJ is there to meet him, landing a stiff back elbow. Luke is up quickly, but KJ catches him with a hard kick to the stomach, followed by a front face lock, and a vertical suplex. KJ floats over for a cover, but only gets a two count. COLE Kevin has started off this match quickly, this is the first time we have seen him in an OAOAST ring, and it will be interesting to see the style of these two competitors. Kevin grabs Luke by the hair and drives his head into the top turnbuckle pad, before tagging in Saxon. Kevin scoops Luke up, and slams him down on his back, and Saxon springboards into the ring, connecting with a corkscrew legdrop! Saxon runs to the ropes, Luke tries to get to his feet, but Saxon lands a front dropkick right to his chin, sending him down again! Saxon goes for a cover, but again, only a two. COACH Saxon Aussie is a very fast paced cruiserweight, I’ve seen tapes of this guy, he has a solid hit-and-run philosophy, like that of legendary cruiserweight Rey Mysterio. But Saxon also has cockiness and an attitude that Rey has never expressed. Saxon will take a chance, but he will also go to any length to win a contest! Saxon measures Luke, who gets to his feet. Luke turns around, Saxon charges at him, Luke tries a clothesline, Saxon ducks under, Saxon springboards off of the middle rope, and connects with a high Crossbody! Saxon doesn’t go for the cover, but he does tag in his half-brother Kevin Jason! KJ runs into the ring, where Luke is trying to reach his brother Johnny, and grabs his leg, stopping him from making the tag. Luke tries to reach his brother again, but Kevin won’t let go of the leg! Luke turns around to face Kevin who is still holding his leg, and connects with an enziguri to the side of the head! Luke lunges forward, and tags in his three hundred pound brother! CABOOSE Look out, the big man is in! Johnny Solo charges at KJ and takes him down with a clothesline! Kevin is up quickly, and Johnny takes him down again! Cameron and Jarvo are livid on the outside! Johnny picks Kevin up and puts him in a standing bodyscissors, going for a Powerbomb! COLE The Solo Brothers are gonna do it here! Saxon tries to get into the ring and stop Johnny Solo, but the referee stops him! With the referee distracted, Cameron S. Aussie comes into the ring and FLOORS Johnny Solo with the 24/7 Title Belt! Meanwhile, Jarvo pulls Luke Solo off of the apron, and connects with a clothesline! CABOOSE The numbers game! Dammit! Kevin tags in Saxon and staggers out of the ring, Saxon goes up to the top rope. Saxon flies off backwards… and hits the Barrel Roll! COLE Amazing move! A 450 Degree Moonsault! Saxon makes the cover on Johnny Solo… ONE! TWO! THREE! *DING DING DING* COLE The FBA has stolen one here! CABOOSE Well, they said that they would go to any limits, and they certainly have! The referee raises Saxon’s hand, and the other three members of AWOL come in to congratulate him. Kevin Jason gets in the face of Johnny Solo, taunting the OAOAST enhancment talent! KEVIN JASON Dont you EVER MESS with FAMILY, you piece of SHIT! They then look down at the fallen Johnny Solo, and Cameron orders Jarvo to pick him up! Jarvo does so, and pushes him toward Cameron. Cameron hooks him up, and gives him an Angle Slam! COACH He calls that The Pay Cheque! COLE Come on! That’s enough! AWOL has made their point! The four members of AWOL stand over the fallen Solo, and raise their arms in victory, as ‘Frantic’ blares over the house speakers. They leave the ring and walk up the ramp as a group, as they leave the arena. COLE But where’s Gunner tonight? CABOOSE I don’t know, but when he comes back there will be hell to pay! *commercial*

COLE Well, the tag team division here in the OAOAST has certainly undergone a boom period in recent weeks and months, with new tag teams seemingly emerging every other week. Tonight, yet another Bill Watts discovery enters the realm of HeldDOWN~!, in the form of Glory By Anarchy. CABOOSE Watts would be smarter for concentrating on the tag-teams he already has, like Black T and the New, New Midnights...real talent...rather the hiring more and more teams. COLE He's trying to build competition up 'Boose. CABOOSE There's already about eighteen teams on the payroll. If this Watts guy wants to throw his money at people, I make a great standing target. COLE And sure enough, everything comes down to money for Caboose. CABOOSE Hey, ya gotta respect the dollah, dollah, dollah. COACH HOLLA! Into the ring we go, as one team is already in the ring. Which never bodes well for their chances. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following tag-team contest, scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, the team currently in the ring. Consisting of...From Mexico City, New Mexico...he weighs in at one hundred seventy five pounds. This is... SKUUUUUUULL... KIIIIIIIIIDDD!!! "BOOOOOOOOOO!" BUFFER And his tag team partner. One of the gutsiest, most persistant men in professional wrestling. A true man's man. He is the one and the only...BAAAARRRYYY HORRROOOWIIITTTZZZZZ!!! Horowitz gets a mixed reaction from the crowd as he pats himself on the back, looking totally out of place next to Skull Kid. .:CUE: "Wheels Of Steel" by Saxon Again, there's another mixed reaction as here come the unknowns. The stockier of the two men storms out in front, walking towards the ring with focus in his eyes. His partner follows quickly behind with slightly less of an 'I hate everyone' attitude in his facial expressions. BUFFER And, their opponents. Making their HeldDOWN~! debut here tonight. They weigh in at a total combined weight of four hundred and seventy three pounds. NATHAN BLACK! JASPER ROMERO! GLORY... BY... ANAAAAARRRCHYYY!!! Both men roll into the ring and back into their corner, going over strategy. Horowitz meanwhile attempts to do the same with Skull Kid. But talking to a man with a skull painted on his face and a blank look in his eye doesn't ride high on Barry's wishlist, so he gives up quickly...patting Skull Kid on the back and telling him he can start. The altogether more united GBA have a last huddle, before Romero steps out of the ring. That leaves Nathan Black up against Skull Kid... *DING DING DING!* As the bell rings. Showing very little emotion now, Black inches forward towards Skull Kid...who for some reason tucks and rolls, looking for a leg-grab as he gets back his bearings. Black reaches down and wraps Skull Kid in a front facelock though, hauling him effortlessly to his feet. Still with the facelock on, Black swings Skull Kid around in the direction of a neutral corner and releases him. Skull Kid quickly tries to charge with a clothesline. But he gets caught, hooked and popped with an overhead belly to belly suplex that sends him FLYING across the ring! "OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!" COLE Oh MY! Skull Kid convulses on the canvas, with little time to recover before Black strides over and drops a big knee across the sternum. And second. A third, leaving Skull Kid gasping for breath. Meanwhile, Black walks over and tags in Romero. He quickly enters the ring, much quicker and smoother in movement as pulls Skull Kid up. Showing great strength, Romero then hoists Skull Kid up and gorilla presses him over his head! Skull Kid looks shocked, unable to escape. Romero meanwhile turns to face Horowitz, making sure he gets a good look as he slams Skull Kid hard to the canvas. Skull Kid desperately crawls and tries to make a tag. But Romero pulls him up and away, lifting Skull Kid to his feet. *SLAP* "WHOOOO!" Skull Kid manages to chop Romero across the chest, but he gets a knee to the gut right back. An irish whip sends Skull Kid into the corner. He bounces out, into a beautiful standing dropkick by Romero and a cover. ONE! TWO! Kickout. Romero pulls Skull Kid up by the hair, dragging him to the corner and tagging in Black. He enters the ring quickly, whipping Skull Kid into the ropes and MOWING him down with a stiff clothesline as he comes back, turning him inside out! Horowitz can only look on nervously, as Black makes the cover. ONE! TWO! Kickout. Unphased, Black simply scoops Skull Kid back off the canvas and scoop slams him with authority. Gallantly, Skull Kid drags himself back up. Only to get grabbed by Black and pulled forwards forcefully. Skull Kid manages to swing with a clothesline as he goes, but Black ducks and catches the arm before throwing Skull Kid over with an almighty Explodaaaaah~! Suplex!!! Skull lands hard on his head and bounces across the ring, as Black coolly strides past him and tags Romero back in. COLE So far, this has just been a demolishment rather than a match. Skull Kid has been thrown about from corner to corner, while The GBA make frequent tags...keeping the fresh man in. CABOOSE Well, of course it's a demolishment Cole. He's teaming with Barry Horowitz. Romero pulls up the groggy Skull Kid yet again, holding him by the hair to prevent him from falling back to the mat...before hoisting him up with another gorilla press. This time though, Romero doesn't simply slam Skull Kid. Oh no. This time, he positions himself under Skull Kid and lets him drop, straight down into a gutbuster!!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHH!!!" Groans fill the air from the crowd, from Skull Kid...and from Horowitz, as Romero makes a relaxed cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Still Romero doesn't look too bothered with Skull Kid's show of resiliance as he again pulls Skull Kid up by the straggly hair upon his head. A stiff forearm rocks Skull Kid...a second causes him to lose the power in his legs, crumpling into a ball on the canvas. Romero has the hair still as he reaches out and tags Black. Together, The GBA pick up Skull Kid and whip him off the ropes. Back shoots Skull Kid, into a double shoulderblock that sends him careering back towards his corner, where Horowitz meekly makes the tag. COACH Well, this should be fun. CABOOSE Should be quick too. Into the ring steps Horowitz, eyeing up Black as he slowly inches forwards with his stance ready. However Black beats him to the punch...with a kick. Another doubles over Horowitz and quickly Black executes a vicious snap suplex on the ultimate underdog. Black hangs onto the front facelock as he lands, rolling to the side and pulling Horowitz back up. As he does though, Horowitz drops down and takes Black over into a small package! ONE! T... Kickout! COLE Woah! Horowitz, nearly surprised Nathan Black with that small package. CABOOSE If this guy lost to a small package...to Barry Horowitz no less...his contract would be ripped up, right? COLE I don't know about that... Grabbing Black in a front facelock as he begins to get back up, Horowitz seems a bit more confident now as he brings Black to his feet. His confidence is mislaid however, as Black charges Horowitz back into the corner. And into the GBA corner for good measure. Romero reaches in and slaps Black on the back, tagging himself in as Black holds Horowitz in the corner. Romero quickly fires off a couple of right hands before Black exits the ring. Out staggers Horowitz, getting scooped up by Romero and planted with a slam...Romero sitting out on the way down to add more impact. Quickly Romero reaches forward, hooking up Barry's legs... ONE! TWO! Broken up by Skull Kid... ...who gets DETROYED by a Black Lariat! COLE Goodnight! COACH And back to hell you go, fruity! The referee tries to get Black out of the ring, but he blatantly ignores the ref as Romero begins to pull Horowitz up. Quickly The GBA position themselves to either side of the groggy Horowitz, before in unison Black sweeps out Horowitz's legs, while Romero hits a spinkick! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE TOTAL ANAAAAARRRCHY!!! Horowitz gets flipped into the air, landing akwardly on the side of his head. Luckily, Romero is there to put him out of his misery... ONE! TWO! THREEE! *DING DING DING* "Wheels Of Steel" cues up again, as Romero hops off of the cover and high-fives Black, before both men's arms are raised in the air. BUFFER Your winners of the match...GLORY BY ANAAAAARRRCHYYY!!! With the job done, Glory By Anarchy leave the ring and make their way coolly back up the rampway, as in the ring remain the crumpled bodies of both Skull Kid and Horowitz. Even the referee looks a little wide eyed as he assesses the carnage that lays around him. COLE All business here tonight. And what a start to your OAOAST career for Glory By Anarchy. CABOOSE I still say they were given a free ticket to ride tonight. I mean, come on Cole. You and Doucheman here could have beaten the two chumps in the ring. COACH Damn skippy~! CABOOSE That was meant as an insult. COLE Well, the test isn't over for tonight for Glory By Anarchy, 'Boose. The in-ring job is down. Now, can they survive Jesse Ventura and his unique interviewing style? Folks, get ready for a special treat. It's the return...of the Body Shop! Jesse, it's up to you. THE BODY SHOP w/ JESSE "THE BODY VENTURA~! The crowd are already buzzing as on the specially assembled stage and set stands the Minneapolis fashion plate himself, Jesse Ventura, looking out into the crowd with a wry grin on his face. The bandana, leather jacket and tiger print pants are in the house "JESSE! JESSE! JESSE!" VENTURA Thanks Mitchell. Chicago, Illinois... *CHEAPPOP~!* VENTURA ...I am of course Jesse 'The Body' Ventura and this is The Body Shop. The original and the best. And tonight... Jesse stops as Glory By Anarchy make their way up the steps and onto the retro stage, standing either side of Jesse. VENTURA ...you've already seen these two guys take care of business where it counts. In the ring. But right now, I wanna talk to you two guys and I wanna ask you a few questions. I must admit, that was a VERY impressive start to your HeldDOWN~! careers and I've gotta ask...what's next for you two guys? What exactly are your intentions, right here in the OAOAST? Stopping, Jesse realises he doesn't know which guy to offer the microphone to, simply holding it out in front of him before Romero leans in. ROMERO Well, I would have thought that was pretty obvious Jesse. We're here for the OAOAST World Tag Team Championships. VENTURA You see, I thought you two might say that. So, let me ask you THIS. What makes you two think that you deserve the titles over some of the great teams that we have here in the OAOAST, like my favourite team Black T. Or my buddy James E.'s team, The New, New Midnights. The Champs themselves, the GPX. Hell, even Hell's Hitmen. Those guys aren't gonna be happy about another couple of upstarts coming in and wanting the tag belts. You're the new kids on the block after all. ROMERO *chuckles* I wouldn't go that far. We're no rookies. We've been in this business long enough to know we need to prove ourselves before we get the title shot. Don't worry about that Jesse, we're not under any false illusions. But believe me...we're ready. If any of those teams you just mentioned, or any other team in the OAOAST has a problem with Glory By Anarchy being in this company and going after the tag team titles...then they're welcome to meet us in the ring. BLACK 'Cause that's where me and Jasper do OUR talking! Smiling, Jesse shakes his head slightly as the crowd give a mixed reaction to what they're hearing. VENTURA I hope that you two men realise what you're saying here. That locker room is full of pinned back ears and I'll guarantee you, you're not making any friends tonight. ROMERO Jesse...we're not here to make friends. We're hear to kick ass! This team isn't going to fall into obscurity Jesse. We make no secret of our aspirations and if people don't like it, then that's their problem. So if it's Black T... "BOOOOOOO!" ROMERO The Global Party XChange... "YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!" ROMERO The New, New Midnights... "BOOOOOOO!" ROMERO The Frankensteiners, The Muses, Chicks Over Dicks, Hell's Hitmen, Los Infernales...or any other team in this company. We don't care who it is. We will go through whoever we have to to prove ourselves. It's nothing personal. Me and Nathan have no problems with anyone in the back and probably never will, because to us...this is strictly business. And with that, Glory By Anarchy turn and leave the stage. Jesse shrugs his shoulders and turns to watch them go, the crowd still not sure quite what to make of this new twosome. VENTURA You know what...for a couple of new guys, I think I might grow to like you two. You're no Jesse The Body award material, but you've got a decent body there kid. And I like you guys' attitude. You're no Black T though. Back to you 'Boose...and those millstones around your neck too. COACH He's talking about you you know Mitchell. COLE Oh, shut up! The scene cuts backstage.... (Cut to backstage, where we see Jonas Smith, a Malibu trainee, dragging a cameraman along with him into the makeshift Board of Directors office in the building.) SMITH Excuse me...I know I'm totally breaking young lions' code by doing this, but I'm demanding, right here and now, some sort of match against Alex Bryant! I'm sick and I'm tired of the torment he's been putting me through the past month! WATTS Actually, before we were so rudely interrupted, we were discussing the matter of how Alex Bryant's been out-of-line with his treatment of you lately. However, until you can come to us with proof that Zack has graduated you from his school and that you have a wrestler's license, we will keep you on the referee squad and not allow you to wrestle Alex Bryant. I'm sorry. SMITH Is that all I need? A wrestler's license and permission from Mr. Malibu? Okay, give me one week, and I'll hand it over to you guys. (Jonas opens the door to leave...but it gets violently jammed back into his face, knocking him down to the ground. The cameraman peeks behind the door to see that it was Alex Bryant.) BRYANT (in deadpan voice) Oops, guess I should watch where I walk. Clumsy me. *commercial*

YOU LIVE IT OR LIE IT! YOU LIVE IT OR LIE IT! Metallica’s ‘Frantic’ roars over the house speakers, as green and gold spotlights roam the arena. They then stop at the top of the entrance ramp, and the fans begin to boo and jeer as they see the new OAOAST Twenty-Four Seven Champion, Cameron S. Aussie III, leading out his group, Aussies WithOut Limits. COLE Well folks, in case you didn’t see World Without End, these are the guys that screwed Gunner Sharps out of the Twenty-Four Seven Championship. I’d introduce them, but I have a feeling they are going to do that themselves. Cameron, dressed in a business suit with the title over his shoulder, walks up the ring steps, and makes the referee hold the ropes open for him. He steps into the ring, with his family members close behind. Michael Buffer begins to make an introduction, but ‘The Mouthpiece’ Kevin Jason Aussie snatches the microphone away from him and tells Buffer to get the hell out of the ring. KEVIN JASON Cut our music wankers! Now, in case you dickheads don’t know who we are, let me introduce to you, the group that made a bigger impact than any other OAOAST talent at World Without End, Myself, ‘The Mouthpiece’ Kevin Jason Aussie, my half brother, ‘The Looks’ Saxon Aussie, my cousin, ‘The Brawn’ Jarvo Aussie, and our esteemed leader, my favourite first cousin, and the NEW OAOAST Twenty-Four Seven Champion, ‘The Top Dog’ Cameron S. Aussie The Third! CABOOSE I think its only a matter of time before everyone gets sick of that little bastard. KEVIN JASON Now, last night, we shocked the world, when we brutally attacked Gunner Sharps during his ‘match’ with our distant relative, and fellow Australian, Referee Christopher Canberra. We beat the living crap out of Gunner, and Cameron capped it off by pinning him, and winning the OAOAST Twenty-Four Seven Championship! Why target Gunner, you ask? Well, that’s easy. He picked on a perfectly good official, and a family member, that made the right decision. You don’t mess with family. So, we decided to take it upon ourselves to teach Gunner Sharps a lesson. Gunner, I’m warning you right now, we took your belt last night, but next time you cross us, we will take a whole lot more. COACH A cold warning from Kevin Jason Aussie! KEVIN JASON Now, later tonight, we will compete in our first OAOAST match, representing this great family, and our great nation. After you see how dominant we are against your own OAOAST wrestlers, all you wankers will know that we will go to any level, climb any mountain, break any rule, because together, we are Aussies WithOut Limits – AWOL! CUE: ‘Frantic’ by Metallica COLE Well later tonight we will see what these guys are made of, as they compete in Tag Team Action. But I have to say guys, we know Gunner, and he will want revenge sooner rather than later! CABOOSE No doubt Cole, you think he was angry when Canberra screwed him in the Round Robin Tournament? Well, multiply that by about a thousand times. COACH It’s going to be an interesting night! (The Phenom walks by. Then, he turns around, looks at them, and points at Jarvis.) PHENOM You....me....the ring. (The Phenom walks off) COACH What was that about? *cut backstage* ackstage, JOSH MATTHEWS~! is primping himself up for the rest of tonight's backstage interviews, when suddenly a shadow looms over him. Matthews feels the presence behind him and turns around, and the camera pulls back to reveal Zack Malibu, with Candie standing behind him, looking down on Josh. JOSH Hey...uh, hi Zack. ZACK Get your mic. I want interview time. JOSH Actually, I'm waiting on the Global Party X... ZACK NOW, Josh. Matthews gulps and backs off, finding a mic nearby. ZACK Now look into the camera, and introduce me. Act like a damn professional. Josh is unsure of this situation, but turns to the camera with a smile, breaking out the introduction of the former World Champion. JOSH Ladies and gentlemen, I'm standing here with Zack Malibu, the man whom many feel att... Suddenly, Malibu swipes the mic from Matthews. ZACK You had to go there, didn't you. You HAD TO GO THERE! Malibu snaps, and pummels Josh in the head with the mic! Candie encourages this by cheering Zack on as he hammers on Josh's forehead, screaming at the top of his lungs. ZACK I DIDN'T DO IT! YOU HEAR ME? I DIDN'T DO IT! STOP BLAMING ME! STOP IT! I'M ZACK MALIBU DAMMIT! Malibu continues the assault, until Johnny "Jam" Jackson and Scotty Static happen by, rushing to the scene and prying the former World Champion away! ZACK STAY OUT OF THIS! LET ME AT HIM! STATIC You need to back off, man. Attacking announcers now? God damn you're a coward? Static's mouth gets him in huge trouble, as Malibu charges, tackling the popular youngster down to the floor! Jackson quickly aids his partner and pulls Malibu up, and finally security happens upon the scene. JACKSON You've lost it, Malibu! What the hell is your deal! ZACK I haven't lost it! I haven't lost anything! I'll kick his ass, and your ass! JACKSON You think so? ZACK I KNOW so. JACKSON Then it's on. You find a partner, and you got it. Thanksgiving Star Wars. The hottest team in OAOAST history against the so-called Franchise. ZACK So called? SO CALLED? Malibu tries to charge forward, but is held back by the security herd. ZACK You're dead. DEAD. You're not on my level! Not even close! STATIC Yeah, well, good luck finding someone to team with you, nutcase. Malibu is pushed away by security, as he rambles and shouts at them for putting their hands on them, as Static and Jackson help Josh up off the floor. STATIC You OK? JOSH Yeah. STATIC How 'bout that interview then? *Fade Out* *commercial*

COLE We're back, and ready for action! Suddenly, the arena goes black, and the opening to Michael Jackson's "Beat It" hits the PA system. Two spotlights shine on the entrance, highlighting the Illuminators, who are clad in black trenchcoats and matching hats pulled low over their faces. The two snap their fingers to the beat as they slowly walk out onto the stage with their heads down, coming to a stop at the top of the ramp. The pair just stand there until the song's main riff kicks in, at which point, they rip off their hats and trenchcoats AND BEGIN TO DANCE! Fog, multicolored lights and green lasers fill the arena as the Illuminators bust out their best Michael Jackson moves, their suits flashing on and off to match their every move. The crowd boos loudly as Kevin Yancy Taylor steps out from the locker room with a pair of light tubes in each hand. The dancing comes to a momentary halt as Taylor steps in between the two men, handing each one a tube before starting down the entrance ramp with purpose. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Currently coming down the aisle, accompanied by his tag team partner, Illuminator 2, and his manager, Kevin Yancy Taylor, weighing in tonight at 186 pounds: IIIIIIIILLLLLLLUUUUUMINATOR OOOOONNNNNE!!!!!!!! The crowd boos as both Illuminators slide into the ring, where they begin to dance with the light tubes. COLE We've got singles action on our hands here tonight as Kevin Yancy Taylor continues his quest for revenge against Panther and Tina. Last week, it was tag team match, as Taylor debuted his new tag team the Illuminators--suposedly two of the baddest, most deadly men on the planet--against his two most hated rivals. Taylor promised the shock of a lifetime going into the match, and...well...he certainly lived up to his promise. THE LOGO~! scrolls the screen as we take you back to the close of the Illuminators/Panther and Tina tag match from last week's show, as Tina reaches through the ropes and grabs Taylor by the hair. His eyes open wide with shock as Tina yanks him up onto the apron with a look of anger and fury in her eyes. Taylor begs for her to let him go, but she's not hearing it. She yanks him over the top rope and lifts him up into Gorilla position, pressing him once...twice...three times to show off her strength. Illuminator 2 returns to his feet, at which point, Tina tosses Taylor right at him. Illuminator 2 catches him, though, bringing a huge smile to Taylor's face. He points and laughs at Tina, at which point, a sinister grin comes to Tina's face. A nervous glare appears in Taylor's eyes as Tina nonchalantly points behind them... COLE What the...oh my... CABOOSE LOOK OUT, KEV!!!! Illuminator 2 slowly turns around with Taylor, and spots Panther standing behind him with a pitcher of water (which he got from Sofa Central). Before he can react, Panther throws the water on he and Taylor... *BUUUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ~!* ...AND HIS SUIT SHORTS OUT, ELECTRICUTING THEM BOTH!!!!!! Illuminator 2's suit flashes on and off as he and Taylor fall to the canvas and go into convulsions. We get two more replays of the electricution--both from different camera angles--before cutting back to the interview area, where Jackie Gayda stands alongside Tina; both are laughing their asses off as they watch last week's footage. The crowd in the arena pops as her image appears on the Angletron. JACKIE Kevin Yancy Taylor feeling the effects of the Illuminators'...(giggles) SHOCKING loss last week at the hands of Panther and Tina, and right now, I'm here with Tina, who's just moments away from doing battle with Illuminator 1 in singles action. Now Tina, needless to say, Taylor was none too happy after last week's encounter. He was absolutely furious about the outcome, and immediately following the show, he went to Bill Watts and DEMANDED this match with you tonight. The match was signed, and since that time, rumors have been going around the locker room that Taylor has got something special planned for you tonight--something designed to make you pay for the events of last week. I'm sure you've heard the rumors, and I'd like to know what's on your mind going into this match. TINA Well Jackie, I've definitely heard the talk, and I can sum up my thoughts on the situation with two little words: PUH...LEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAASSSEEE!!! (crowd pops) Ya know something, I listen to Taylor run his mouth, and these days, honest to god, this guy's like the Justin Timberlake of the OAOAST. Seriously! The guy has one itty bitty wardrobe malfunction, and all of a sudden he and his boys wanna come out and cry me a river! Well that's just fine with me. You wanna cry, Kevy? Go ahead and cry! Cry that river; it'll be the same one you drown in when I get through with your ass here tonight. Because no matter what you say, Taylor, no matter what kinda surprises you have in store, it doesn't change the fact that tonight, you and your little Illuminators are getting your lights turned out by the Baddest Chick this industry has ever seen. You see tonight, Taylor, I can't promise that you'll be shocked...but you will get BURNED! And that--as my Panther would say--is the fucking... CROWD TRUTH!!!!! Tina flashes an angelic smile before turning right and heading out to ringside. The camera cuts back out to the ring, where Taylor is giving his team instructions. COLE Well Tina doesn't seem worried going into this one. CABOOSE But she should be. Look at Taylor. Look at the look in his eyes! This man isn't playing around. This is no laughing matter. "Beat It" dies down, and is replaced by symphonic opening of Jadakiss' "Gettin it in." The arena slowly fades to black, and after approximately 10 seconds, a series of pyro sparks explode from the HeldDOWN~! set. Shorty gettin it in with me (uh-huh) Shorty gettin it in with me (yeah) She said I brought some friends with me, but I don't know why Because they ain't gettin in with me (uh-uh) Bright red spotlights flood the arena, and the crowd pops big as Tina struts out onto the stage with a smile on her face. She takes a moment to scour the arena before running her hands through her hair, frizzing it up and tossing it back... *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM~!* ..cuing a series of pyro sparks to fire down from the rafters. She thrusts her hands high above her head as she starts down the ramp to the ring. BUFFER And his opponent: she hails from Philadelphia, PA and weighs in tonight at 175 pounds, she is the Baddest Chick and the Superwoman of Pro Wrestling...TIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNAAAAAAAA!!!!!! The crowd pops once more at the mention of her name as in the ring, Taylor and the Illuminators eye her sinisterly, wielding their light tubes. Tina prepares to slide into the ring, but changes her plans when the Illuminators try to rush her with the tubes. CABOOSE Heh. Not looking so confident now, is she, Cole? COLE Those damn Illuminators with those light tubes holding Tina at bay. This is supposed to a one-on-one match, but you've got both men in there with Taylor... CABOOSE But that shouldn't matter though, Cole! You heard her! She's the Superwoman! The Baddest Chick! She's gonna turn the Illuminators' lights out, Cole! Tina makes another attempt to enter the ring, but is stopped once again when the Illuminators advance on her with the tubes. She backpedals toward the bottom of the ramp, as in the ring, Taylor looks down on her and laughs: "What's wrong, Tina? Scared?" Tina rolls her eyes as Taylor holds the ropes open, inviting her to come in. Chants of "Panther, Panther" start up in the background as Tina contemplates her decision. Then, a smile forms on her face, bringing a worried look to Taylor's. CABOOSE What...what is she up to? COLE Tina's got an idea, apparently. Taylor watches intently from the ring as Tina walks to the ring apron, lifts it up, and pulls a metal bucket from underneath the ring. The Illuminators' eyes open wide with fear as Tina turns to them with a mischievious glare. CABOOSE Oh no, not again! COLE Tina pulling that bucket out from underneath the ring...is that water?! CABOOSE WHO THE HELL PUTS A BUCKET OF WATER UNDERNEATH A WRESTLING RING?! Taylor and the Illuminators begin to back off as Tina climbs the stairs with the bucket. "Don't you dare," yells Taylor, holding up his opened right hand as he tries to reason with her. But Tina's not hearing it, and she steps through the ropes and stalks them with the bucket. The Illuminators' outfits begin flashing rapidly as they begin to cower behind Taylor, grabbing him by his sportscoat and attempting to hold him in place as a shield. A frantic Taylor begins to scream at his charges: "LET GO OF ME, YOU IDIOTS"! He struggles as hard as he can to break free from their grasp as Tina and the bucket get closer and closer. Finally, he manages to free himself from his jacket and dive out of the ring, at which point, Tina rears back with the bucket and thrusts it forward-- CABOOSE OH NO!!! NOT AGAIN!!!!! The Illuminators drop their light tubes and cover up their heads as the bucket empties, covering them both with... ...confetti. CABOOSE Huh?! Slight laughter from the crowd as the Illuminators, realizing they've been played--slowly come up out of their guarded stance, at which point, Tina charges forward and nails both men with a double clothesline, sending them up and over the top rope and to the outside. *DING DING DING* COLE Referee Nick Patrick has called for the bell! This match is underway! COACH BOO-YAH! CABOOSE Shut up, Coach. Loud chants of "LET'S GO TINA" start up in the background as an angry Taylor approaches his men and begins to scold them. He orders them to get back into the ring and fight, at which point, they scramble back to their feet and climb upon the ring apron. Tina rushes them, though, nailing Illuminator 2 with a charging forearm that sends him flying from the apron, hitting facefirst off the announce table. Illuminator 1 runs across the apron, trying to catch Tina with a clothesline, but she ducks under and nails him with a dropkick that knocks him from the apron, sending him crashing right into his partner on the outside. The two men struggle to find their feet on the outside as in the ring, Tina begins to ascend the turnbuckles. CABOOSE Oh no! COACH Yeah boy! The Superwoman's getting ready to fly! Camera flashbulbs illuminate the arena as Tina sits perched on the top rope, waiting for her foes to rise, and as soon as they're vertical, she takes off, nailing them with a flying cross body that sends them crashing right back to the floor. Tina springs right back to her feet and begins to play to the crowd. COLE What a move by Tina, and Caboose, this crowd here in Chicago is hot!!!! CABOOSE I think it'd be more accurate to say that this crowd here in Chicago is drunk! They must be to cheer for such blatant cheating by this damn Tina! Look at her. Tina's got a big grin on her face as she takes in the crowd's reaction. She turns and prepares to lift up Illuminator 1, when suddenly, Kevin Taylor rushes up from behind and shoves her, causing her to stumble. She regains her footing and turns to face Taylor, who gets right up in her face and begins yelling obscenities. TAYLOR BITCH!!!! YOU DISGUSTING BITCH!!! YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR WHAT YOU DID TO ME! YOU HEAR ME?! HUH?! *CRACK* Taylor slaps Tina HARD across the face, drawing a loud "OOOOOOOH" from the crowd. COACH (snaps fingers/shakes head) Oh no he didn't! COLE That sonuva...Taylor just slapped Tina. That's right, and he's damn proud of it. He rears back to try for another slap, but Tina catches his hand as he tries to follow through. Taylor tries to free his hand from Tina's grasp, but to no avail as Tina--with rage, fury and INTENSITY~! in her eyes--begins to twist up on Taylor's hand, quickly bringing him to his knees. Taylor's distraction buys he Illuminators the time to gather themselves, and with Tina preoccupied with Taylor, the two men rush her from behind and send her to her knees with a pair of forearm shots. COLE Aww...damn it! It's two-on-one out here. The crowd boos in the background as the Illuminators begin to put the boots to Tina, their suits lighting up with every strike they deliver. Then, the pair lift her back up to her feet, at which point, Illuminator 1 Irish whips her towards the stairs... *CLANG* ...and she hits them shoulder first. Tina grimaces in pain as Taylor comes back to his feet, favoring his hand. He begins barking orders to his team. TAYLOR Break her neck!!!! BREAK HER DAMN NECK!!!!!!! The Illuminators look at him and nod before walking over to Tina and lifting her off the ground. COLE Damn it ref, c'mon! Get one of them outta here! Illuminator 1 hooks Tina around the waist and tucks his head under her right armpit as Illuminator 2 stands behind him, preparing for what looks to be a back suplex/neckbreaker combo on the floor. However, when Illuminator 1 lifts her, she manages to shift her weight and flip out of his grasp, going over both their heads and landing on her feet in front of Illuminator 2, at which point she grabs him in a front facelock and plants him with a DDTina! The crowd erupts when she hits the move! COLE DDTINA!!! DDTINA TO ILLUMINATOR 2!!!!!! COACH On the floor! COLE HE'S OUT LIKE A LIGHT! Indeed. Before Tina can rise from the move, Illuminator 1 is right on her, punching and kicking away at her head. He yanks her back to her feet and rolls her into the ring, at which point, he pulls himself onto the apron and propels himself to the top rope. Tina stumbles back to her feet, but gets sent right back down by a diving sidekick from the Illuminator. He makes the cover... 1... 2... NO! Tina raises the shoulder before the count of three. From the outside, Taylor bangs against the canvas, indicating to the ref that "THAT WAS THREE!" as in the ring, Illuminator 1 lifts Tina back to her feet. He brings her to the canvas with a snap mare, but holds on, yanking her back to her feet and taking her over with a second. He lifts her once more and tries to take her over for a third, but Tina manages to squeeze her head out and hook Illuminator 1's arms for a backslide. The crowd pops as Tina works to bring him over, but Illuminator 1 quickly manages to get his right arm free, at which point, he spins around and catches Tina with a knee right to the gut. She doubles over, at which point, Illuminator 1 gutwrenches her and lifts her up onto his shoulder. Tina struggles to free herself from his grasp, but is unsucessful as he brings her down Dominator-style, dropping her sternum-first across his knee. Tina rolls back onto her knees, grimacing in pain as she clutches at her injured sternum, at which point, Illuminator 1 comes back to his feet and nails her with a hard kick to the chest. He follows up with a second before hitting off the ropes and coming right back with a running dropkick right to the chest. Tina is down! Illuminator 1 with the cover... 1... 2... NO! Only TWOOO~! Illuminator 1 lifts Tina back up one more time, this time, doubling her over and hitting her with a kneelift right to the face. The force of the blow knocks her upright, allowing Illuminator 1 to catch her with a cyclone knife-edge that sends her staggering back into a near turnbuckle. Illuminator 1 takes a moment to play to the crowd before turning back to Tina and charging at her with a full head of steam. Tina sees him coming and tosses him up over her head as he comes in; he manages to land on the top rope, though. CABOOSE What a move! Yeah, but before he's really able to get his balance, Tina comes up from behind and blasts him with an axehandle to the back, causing him to fall and crotch himself on the top turnbuckle. Illuminator 1 clutches at the injured area as Tina comes up from behind and blasts him with a forearm shot to the back of the neck. She follows that up with a hard knife-edge before yanking him back down into a tree of woe position. The crowd begins to clamor as Tina takes a few steps back, lining up the trapped Illuminator as he tries to free himself. Taylor hops upon the apron and tries to unhook his legs from the ropes, but before he can, Tina charges forward and nails him with a running dropkick right to the gut, drawing cheers from the capacity crowd. Illuminator 1 slumps down from the turnbuckle and slowly pulls himself to his feet, clutching at his midsection every bit of the way. As soon as he rises, though, Tina moves in on him and returns the favor with a hard kick to his chest. She follows up with one right to the right kidney before sending him into the ropes with an Irish whip, catching him coming off with a tilt-a-whirl powerslam that puts him on the mat for... 1... 2... NO!!!!! He raises the shoulder just after the count of TWOOOOO~! Tina yanks him back up by the mask, then lights him up (literally) with a HARD chop to the chest. One more sends him staggering back into the buckle clutching at the injured area, at which point, Tina moves in and begins to unload on him with a series of vicious chops. *CRACK* CROWD WHOOOOOOO~! *CRACK* CROWD WHOOOOOOOOOOO~! *CRACK* CROWD WHOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Tina rears back for another, but then pauses, taking a look at her fingertips. TINA Aww...DAMN IT!!!!!!!! *WHAM* Tina pops Illuminator 1 with a LEGIT right hand to the jaw, buckling his knees and nearly knocking him unconscious. COACH Ouch! CABOOSE What the hell was that for?! COLE I think...I think she broke a nail, 'Boose. Illuminator 1 slumps down in the buckle, but Tina yanks him back to his feet before firing him across the ring with a cross-corner whip, causing him to hit the opposite buckle with tremendous force. Illuminator 1 winces in pain as Tina charges at him. She leaps at him, perhaps looking for a monkey flip, but Illuminator 1 sidesteps her, and Tina ends up landing with her feet planted on the middle rope. *CRACK* Illuminator 1 catches her with a high kick to the lower back that knocks her slightly off balance. Then, he sticks his head between her legs and yanks her away from the corner in electric chair position. The clamors as he carries her out to the center of the ring. COLE Illuminator 1 with the electric chair...what's he getting ready to do? Before we find out, Tina reaches down and claws at his eyes, then begins raining down with rights and lefts to the head of her foe, causing him to lose his balance, at which point she leans forward and brings him over in a victory roll. Shoulders are down... 1... 2... NO!!!!! He gets the shoulder up before the count of three. Both wrestlers back to their feet, at which point Tina grabs a headlock. Illuminator 1 escapes by shoving her into the ropes, leapfrogging her as she comes off. Tina goes to the other side, and Illuminator 1 drops down as she prepares to come off. Instead of leaping over him, however, she straddles his body, places her legs up under his armpits and rolls him over into a reverse pin. She bridges back as the referee counts... 1... 2... THHRRRRRR--NOOOOOOOO!!!!! Just a TWOOOOOO~! COACH She almost got him there, Boo-Boo! CABOOSE Bah! Don't count the Illuminators out yet! Both wrestlers return to a vertical position, at which point Tina floors Illuminator 1 with a hard clothesline. He quickly recovers, and as soon as he finds his feet, Tina hits off the ropes and leaps onto his shoulders for a huracanrana. Illuminator 1 tries to catch her in powerbomb position, but is unable to hold her, and ends up falling backwards, snapping Tina's throat off the middle rope in the process. Tina clutches at her throat as she staggers back out to the center of the ring, at which point, Illuminator 1 puts her flat on her back with a leg sweep. Kip up by Illuminator 1, followed by a jumping back senton right across her midsection. He hooks the near leg for the cover, and referee Patrick slides into position to count... 1... 2... TINA HOOKS HIS ARMS AND BRINGS HIM OVER WITH A CRUCIFIX PIN!!!!! 1... 2... NO!!!! Kickout by Illuminator 1! They both scramble back to their feet, looking to strike, but Illuminator 1 strikes first, nailing Tina with a thrust chop to the throat before grabbing her arm and whipping her sternum-first into the buckle. Tina draws away from the buckle, clutching at her chest, allowing Illuminator 1 to come up from behind and drop her with an enzuigiri. COLE Oh! What a shot by Illuminator 1. Tina is down, she appears to be hurt, and fans, we've gotta take a commercial break. Don't you go away! We'll be back...eventually. *COMMERCIAL BREAK* When the break ends, Illuminator 1 has Tina trapped in the corner, and is nailing her with hard knife-edge chops. COLE Fans, we're back, and boy oh boy did you miss some shit. COACH Fo sheezy! This match has been off the hook. Off the chain! It's been a rocketbuster! A humdinger even! What a match. Cross-corner whip sends Tina to the opposite buckle. Illuminator 1 tries to follow her in, but Tina tips up against the buckle and catches him in a headscissors. He struggles to get himself free from the scissors, and succeeds by tossing her up over the top rope. Tina lands on the apron, though, and blasts him on the jaw with a hard forearm. Suddenly... *THUD* Kevin Taylor grabs Tina's ankle and yanks her down, causing her to hit her face off the ring apron. Taylor flashes a cocky smile as the crowd boos the hell out of him. Tina rises holding her nose, and begins to advance on Taylor with anger in her eyes. CABOOSE Leave him alone you witch! Taylor starts to back off as Tina goes after him, but before she's able to get her hands on him, Illuminator 1 catches her with a baseball slide that knocks her to the floor. To the outside he goes, and he begins putting the boots to Tina as Taylor looks on with glee. Handful of hair brings her back to her feet, at which point, Illuminator 1 Irish whips her toward the stairs...but Tina reverses and... *CLANG* This time, it's Illuminator 1 who tastes the steel. Immediately after the collision, Tina grabs Taylor by the throat and lifts him into the air! COLE She's got him! Tina's got Taylor!!!!! The crowd goes wild as Tina grabs Taylor and rolls him into the ring. She starts after him, but Illuminator 2 grabs her from behind and tosses her into the guardrail. Tina clutches at her lower back after impact, at which point, Illuminator 2 grabs one of the light tubes brought out to the ring at the start of the match... COLE Oh no! Don't do that! Don't! He charges at Tina with a full head of steam, but she ducks under his swing and drops him with a high kick to the temple, causing the tube to shatter in the process. With her attention on the second Illuminator, the other one comes up from behind and nails her with a judo chop to the back of the head. A second one. He then tosses Tina into the ring and follows her in, at which point Taylor rolls out to the floor. Boot to the back of the head of Tina by Illuminator 1! Another one. He lifts her back to her feet and scoops her for a Michinoku Driver, but Tina counters, slipping off his back, hooking him in an inverted facelock and dropping him with the Red Light Special (eye of the hurricane). COLE Red Light Special connects! Illuminator 1 is down! There's the cover by Tina... 1... 2... 3--NO!!!!!! Taylor reaches into the ring at the last second and yanks her off the cover. COLE DAMN IT! SHE HAD THE MATCH WON!!! The referee admonishes Taylor as he keeps hold of Tina's ankle, trying to drag her out to the arena floor. Tina kicks at him furiously, desperately trying to break his grip, and finally scores with a HARD boot to the mouth that knocks him on his ass. The crowd pops big as Tina slides out to the floor and begins to stalk Taylor! CABOOSE Referee, get out there and do something about this! COLE Tina's had enough, folks! Taylor's been a thorn in her side throughout this match! Tina's fed up, and she's about to take it out on Taylor's ass! The crowd cheers Tina on as she continues to advance on Taylor, who scrambles back to his feet and begins to run toward the locker room. Tina starts after him, but she gets cut off by a forearm to the back from Illuminator 2! COLE DAMN HIM!!!!!! Illuminator 2 attacking Tina again! He hammers away on Tina at ringside as from the stage, Taylor looks back and begins to laugh. Suddenly, a loud roar comes up from the crowd. CABOOSE Oh no! Kevin, look behind you! It's... COACH IT'S PANTHER!!!!!! YES!!!!! Panther emerges from the locker room and walks up behind Taylor, preventing his escape. A look of shock forms on his face as Panther grabs him by the hair and drags him down the ramp and back to the ring. At ringside, Tina sends Illuminator 2 crashing into the ringpost, knocking him down, at which point, she turns back to Taylor with a sinister smile. CABOOSE Oh no! COLE Taylor's gonna get it right here, right now! Taylor desperately tries to reason with Panther, but it's no use as he Irish whips him down the ramp...and RIGHT INTO A TINA CLOTHESLINE!!!!!! COLE She got him! She got him, and listen to this crowd! They're going wild. Indeed. A mixture of "Panther" and "Tina" chants break out across the arena as Tina puts the boots to the fallen broadcast journalist. She lifts him back to his feet, and rips into him with a knife-edge. She nails him with one more before rolling him into the ring. She follows him in, and Taylor continues to beg off. Tina doesn't relent, grabbing him by his hair and lifting him back to his feet. At this point, Illuminator 1 tries to attack her from behind, but Tina sidesteps him, and he ends up nailing his own manager with a Yakuza kick. He stomps the canvas in frustration as he realizes his mistake, then turns back to Tina, only to catch a dropkick to the chest for his trouble. The blow sends him staggering back into the buckle, at which point, Tina lifts Taylor back to his feet and Irish whips him right into Illuminator 1. With both men lying in the buckle, Tina walks back toward the opposite corner and snaps her fingers. COACH You know what that means, Mikey. COLE Shades of her sister. Taylor and Illuminator 1 groggily look on as Tina runs at them with a running handspring elbow, catching Taylor square on the jaw and crushing Illuminator 1 against the turnbuckles. The Illuminator slumps to the mat as Taylor stumbles forward into Tina's arms...only to be lifted up into Gorilla Press position. COLE What strength by the Superwoman! The crowd comes to his feet as Tina walks him out to the center of the ring, pressing him once...twice...three times before dumping him right down onto the canvas. Taylor's back arches as he grimaces in pain on the mat. CABOOSE This isn't right. This is no way to treat a broadcast journalist. COLE I have no sympathy for Taylor. He provoked Tina, and he's getting exactly what he deserves. Illuminator 2 pulls himself onto the apron, trying to get Tina's attention, but he gets yanked down by Panther. The crowd pops once more as Panther begins laying into the masked man with right hand after right hand, beating the larger Illuminator back up the ramp toward the locker room. In the ring, Tina frizzes up her hair, then looks down on Taylor, a look of intensity in her eyes. CABOOSE Oh, what is she gonna do now?! COLE We could be getting set to see the end of Kevin Yancy Taylor!!!! As Panther and Illuminator 2 continue to brawl on the outside, Tina lifts Taylor off the canvas and pulls him into a front facelock... COACH She's going for the DDTina!!! YES! But before she can deliver it, Illuminator 1 breaks it up with a high knee to the back. Tina drops Taylor and stumbles into the ropes, at which point, Illuminator 1 charges her and begins hammering away with right hands. Irish whip by Illuminator 1 is counted into a boot to the midsection by Tina-- *WHAM* COLE OH!!!!!!! COACH DDTINA!!!!!!! COLE SHE GOT IT!!!!!!! The crowd explodes as Illuminator 1's head bounces hard off the mat. Tina pulls herself back to her feet, preparing to go for the cover, when suddenly... *CRASH* KEVIN TAYLOR HITS HER SQUARE IN THE EYE WITH A LIGHT TUBE!!!!!!!! COLE Oh no!!!! *DING DING DING* BUFFER Here is your winner, as a result of a disqualification: TINA!!!!! The crowd boos wildly as Taylor stands above Tina, who's rolling around on the mat, screaming bloody murder as she clutches at her face. Taylor cracks an evil smile, then scrambles out to the floor as Panther charges the ring to come to Tina's aid. COLE What a no good son of a bitch! Kevin Yancy Taylor...he just shattered that light tube right in the face of Tina... COACH She may have glass in her eye, Cole. COLE This is bad! This is really bad. Blood is streaming down Tina's face as Panther looks down at her in despair. He kneels down by her side, trying to comfort her, but she shoves him to the mat, punching and kicking wildly at the air as continues to scream at the top of her lungs. Officials and EMTs rush out from the locker room as Panther struggles to get control of Tina, finally succeeding in wrapping his arms her arms around her and wrestling her to the mat. Initially, Tina fights furiously to break free from his grasp, but she soon calms down as Panther whispers something into her ear. Her anger quickly disappears, and she bursts into tears as Panther clutches her head close to his chest. Panther then glances up at the entrance, locking eyes with Taylor, who watches on with the Illuminators from the ramp. A look of fury builds in Panther's eyes, and he begins beathing heavily through clinched teeth as he stares Taylor down from the ring. COLE Look at that look in the eyes of Panther. Tina has been hurt badly in there, and you have gotta believe...Kevin Yancy Taylor's got hell to pay!!! We get a close up of Tina as blood continues to stream down her face and onto Panther's jersey. Then, our focus switches to a pool of blood on the canvas, and we slowly zoom in on it as the screen fades to black. *COMMERCIAL* During the break Cameras follow Tina as she's helped into the back of an ambulance by EMTs. She's holding a bloody towel over her right eye, and her chest and stomach are also stained with blood. COLE Fans, we're back on HeldDOWN~! And this was the scene during the break. Tina being helped into that ambulance after that...sickening act by Kevin Yancy Taylor! That asshole actually had the nerve to hit Tina in the eye with a light tube! He shattered it right over her eye! That was absolutely uncalled for! CABOOSE Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait a minute, Michael Cole! What about what Tina did to Taylor during that last match? Huh? Did she or did she not put her hands on Kevin Taylor? COLE Yes, but... CABOOSE Exactly! Tina brought this all on herself. She had no right to put her hands on Kevin Taylor, and she got exactly what she deserved! COLE I...I'm not even gonna respond to you, you're so ridiculous! The bottom line is, we've got a woman hurt...she may have been severely injured, and fans, we'll keep you updated on her condition throughout the show, but fans, this isn't all that went down during the break! Take a look at Panther's reaction... THE LOGO~! scrolls across the screen as we cut to footage outside of Kevin Yancy Taylor's locker room. The door is wide open, and we hear all sorts of crashes coming from inside. Suddenly, Panther storms out of the room--his jersey stained with Tina's blood--with a look of fury in his eyes! PANTHER TAYLOR!!!!!!!!!!!! GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE, TAYLOR!!!!! Panther scours the hallway with a nasty scowl on his face, looking right and left before kicking over television equipment and storming out of the picture. COLE There you see it, folks! Panther is mad! He's mad as hell, and he's searching the backstage area for Taylor! COACH I wouldn't wanna be in his shoes right now. COLE Fans...my God! Again, we'll keep you updated on this thing with Tina...unbelievable. *commercial*

LIVE from the Rosemont Horizon, home to the 5th greatest night of my life to date (Chris Jericho's WWE debut, as well as a great roadtrip with close friends).

All right, the show is going up!

*le sigh* Finger Eleven is the band that plays the song "One Thing," and I said I was waiting on one thing. That song is nauseating, by the way. It's boring and the singer cannot sing. This is the song that I guess was on the Benoit DVD and if I was Benoit, I'd put whoever okayed that call in the Crossface. ...Although I guess the lyrics fit. Still.

*cue Finger Eleven*

I'm waiting on one thing.

Show's going up around 9 Eastern! Have your stuff in before then!

Like Czech said, you can argue this either way until you're blue. But what it comes down to is this: Triple H was HANDED the Raw World Title. He didn't wrestle for it; it was given to him just for being H. He admittedly defended it on the same night, but still. To me, that makes it worth a little less.

Steven Richards. I will not conform to your picture rules

The "Attitude Era" WWF/E World Title was always my favorite. I thought it looked extremely classy and was a great update of the Winged Eagle belt: bigger, but similar. The Big Gold Belt (I prefer the WCW version) and the Michaels IC belt are my other favorites.

Yep.

Yeah okay it was late. Sorry, all. I just plain forgot. Didn't get home until late. I'm still getting into this "posting the show" groove, so bear with please. Good show! More feedback (i.e. SOME feedback) later.

I want everyone to know I just sat down to read feedback, but I'm too tired to think coherently. But the effort is there! Soon, promise. Also someone than the same four or five people should leave feedback.

Ken's avatar makes me tingle. Oh... Michael Cole, via the magic of satellite, will speak live with Hoff.