Hoff

My first thought was "why would beer pour robots?"

It's the MEATnormous, Mexicool.

I don't know shit until it happens. Not only is this a rumor -- from an admittedly credible source, but still -- but the WWE booking team apparently can't decide WHO they want the WWE Title on until the night beforehand. It's real easy to imagine them coming around on Rey at a moment's notice. Dude may be small, but he's good and he's over.

Am I the only one who found the girl beautiful when she first busted onto the scene so many years ago? I'm not even talking body; I just think she's extremely pretty. As far as the kids go, Matt made me laugh with the idea of just a perpetually pregnant Britney. Pop one out, pop the next one in. Be a lot of stress on the body. Anyway, if this is true, good for her, but you'd think it would just be that much harder for her to get back into MTV shape.

Hey, a word of advice, if I may. If you don't mean to offend someone, try using a word other than "retarded" to describe their ideas. That said, Mukawa is right, Angle/Cena's been done and the matches were never that great. They were slow, more than anything. Cena doesn't have what it takes to mat wrestle with Angle, and Angle just isn't a brawler.

On RVD. I, like many, appreciate the "something different" he brings to the table, along with his awesome look and great bumping ability. However, I can totally see where jwpeer is coming from. He's really not much of a "wrestler" in the traditional sense. He doesn't use many holds, throws, or "wrestling" moves. He throws an occasional suplex, and he's good at it, but other than that he's more of a "fighter" in a wrestling ring. I also think a good portion of his fame comes from his ability to launch himself through the air better than maybe anyone, and he really is graceful and at times breathtaking. But if you're into mat wrestlers, or big power guys like Batista, RVD won't be your scene and that's cool. Something for everyone, and all that.

After RVD, Triple H is the guy I'll be pulling for most in this. He's been out of the main event scene for nearly a year. He still kinda sucks, but he's not the same guy from 02 and 03, either. He's one of the few "big names" left from the last boom period, and as long as his match isn't the main event (which it won't be, in all likelihood), he makes a good main event with either Cena (a wild, raucous brawl) or Edge (young lion vs. old, good story to it). And it makes my ideal Mania card one step closer... That all being said, nothing would rule like RVD in the WWE Championship match at Mania.

Yay for Milky! That's just awesome. What vid is it from?

I'm glad someone else didn't care for #4. I thought I was going crazy. None of them are very good, but I thought 3 was the best, because it makes the most sense as far as Kurt's character goes, and directing the "you suck" chants at his opponent.

I'm curious; what would it take for you to not like the Spirit Squad? What would constitute screwing up? I have no answer of my own, because I can't stand it -- more power to you, man, but I can't handle that act. It just seems like a distraction. They used it well with the Mickie segment, but I can't imagine many more such opportunities.

The Money in the Bank match is dead. Everywhere I go, I see people speculating "who's gonna be in MITB 2?" The "Save Wrestlemania" thread here at TSM is full of people speculating over our next six contenders. The sentiments range from Money in the Bank being a "good idea" to "something that worked" to "a new Wrestlemania tradition." And yes, last year's match was memorable and special. And the stipulation attached resulted in a change that shook the WWE to its core. Money in the Bank was a real winner. It WAS a real winner. For those unfamiliar, the Money in the Bank match is a multi-person (six, last year) ladder match. The object of desire in this contest is not a title belt, but a briefcase, in which is contained a guaranteed contract for a World Heavyweight or WWE title match. The winner of this opportunity can "cash it in" at any time between the match and one year thereafter. This was used in the smartest way possible this year, as Edge challenged John Cena after his victory in the Elimination Chamber, a match sold as being even more exhausting than Hell in the Cell. Edge made good on his shot, and a new champion was crowned. Now, here's the problem. Say the WWE runs another Money in the Bank match at Wrestlemania 22 (Big Time!). The winner, then, barring any unusual circumstances, would be a fool NOT to use it after the Elimination Chamber match at New Years' Revolution, assuming they continue that new tradition. So the intrigue of "when" is effectively gone. From there, you have two possible outcomes. Either this person wins the WWE Championship, which sets a precedent of MITB = Champion, or you have the person lose the match, burying them deeper than Paul Bearer in a tank full of cement. The reason Money in the Bank worked is because it was new. Nobody knew what to expect. Nobody was thinking "hey, there's an Elimination Chamber match in January, I'll bet he uses his shot then!" And NOBODY knew he would win the WWE Championship. We all speculated, but nobody knew. Now, we know how it works. We know what the winner of the guaranteed title shot should do. And that takes away the intrigue. What made the WWF great in the "Attitude" era was unpredictability. Anything could happen on any given day. If they do MITB again, it's a given how it will work, and if they deviate from that template, the booking makes very little sense, because, why wouldn't someone do what Edge did? They'd be a fool. And so they'd be booked into a corner. It was memorable, but part of what made is special was that it will never be duplicated. The WWE would be wise to think things through very carefully, because they have a history of running things into the ground. This is one of the many times that they need to be content with what they've done, sit down, and try to think of something new. Otherwise, the people will get bored, and bored people turn off the TV. Or, worse, turn to TNA Impact... Go Monty Brown! -Hoff

Well, thank you, Alf. I really think that they could use Saturday Night's Main Event as a springboard for a lot of stuff. I hope they do something of note. It's the same as NYR -- when you show that major events can take place at minor shows, it makes people want to tune in.

That's some good stuff right there.

Totally. I mean, like, red and pink SO don't go together! Can we say fashion faux pas? He's referring to those stupid fashion caps that people wear. Purists like myself, Anglesault, and evidently this dude feel that if you're gonna wear a Red Sox cap, it has to be navy blue with a red B on it. And so on/so forth. Pastel pink White Sox caps especially irritate me, because it gets rid of the original black/silver/white we-ripped-off-the-Raiders-because-we're-thugs-from-a-ghetto-too scheme and made it teen girl-friendly. See, this has been a dilemma for me. I tend to feel the same way, but a good friend of mine got an all-black Twins hat, and it looks really good. And, it goes with most anything. But it's still not the real deal, it's not the colors and all that. I don't know. I need advice! Is this a good look? Does it work if you're not immersed in urban culture and fashion trends? Is it being disloyal to my team colors? Someone help me here. YES, oh, God, yes. That just turns my crank like nobody's business. Especially if the girl has a little thickness to her. I just lose it.

It's a genetic disposition. I worked as a server for six years, I know how hard it is, and I know that men tend to get the shaft, so to speak...yet I still find myself laying down a little extra for a cute girl. This is only if she did her job well, though. You suck, and it doesn't matter if you're male or female. You get what you earned. I can't remember the last time I stiffed someone, but it's happened. You realize that you're overcompensating for your own sore feelings and bad attitude, right? Hey, if you need a hand off that cross, let me know. Some math: if your average table is $15-20, and they tip 15%, that's $2.50 to $3 per table. If you can't make that livable, find a busier restaurant. If the place you work is busy, then clearly you're in the wrong line of work, although that seems evident already. EDIT: I didn't see your reply to me. As a cook, this is less your fault. Although, as a cook, I'm shocked you make less than minimum wage. Is this how it is in other states? God bless the dirrty north. Anyway, much of what I said still stands, including the inkling that foodservice may not be your calling.

You know what gets me? Rey's color-coordinated "EG" armbands. The Mexicools are still wearing the original ones (by all appearances) and that's one thing, but Rey has worked it into his outfits. There's a line between tribute and fashion accessory. And I'm sure Eddie, wherever he is, doesn't mind his name being used to help keep Rey over. It still seems somewhat distasteful, though.

You're going to see "The Rock" in this. It's purely hypothetical and wishful thinking. Here's what I'd like to see: Main Event for the World Title Kurt Angle © vs. Rey Mysterio The obvious choice and a much better (in all likelihood) main event than Angle/Orton, as much as I like Orton. A lot of backstory, and an easy set-up for a great match and a happy ending. WWE Championship Edge © vs. HHH HHH as the face here, which if he quits cutting promos on Eddie is an easy enough turn. They need to keep Edge's heel character strong. Let him win the belt back at Saturday Night's Main Event. Ideally, let him go over Triple H, but no one could be that delusional. At least having him win it again puts him on a level with Cena, despite losing to the "King of Kings." Interpromotional Match John Cena vs. Randy Orton Here's how you do it. Have Orton talking about how he's sick of everyone hearing about John Cena being the future of the WWE. He's the Legend Killer, and he's going to kill John Cena's legend before it starts. Orton costs Cena the WWE Title at SNME, and we're good. Shawn Michaels vs. The Rock Vince McMahon brings the Rock back in to show HBK how business is done. Simple enough. Let the McMahons get involved -- there's nothing on the line, so this should be a "fun," very spotty match. If you can't get Rock, use Shane, and have Vince as special guest referee in any case. Intercontinental Title Shelton Benjamin © vs. Rob Van Dam It'd be fun. There's no reason to extend Benjamin/Flair and RVD/Carlito past SNME, and this gives both men something to do. I'd like to see Van Dam go over here and have both men trade the belt a couple times afterward. United States Title Booker T © vs. Chris Benoit vs. Finlay I was tempted to throw OJ in here, but a Triple Threat is cooler, and if OJ is getting the new character, it doesn't hurt to keep him off TV for awhile. Upsell the WCW history over the US Title and there's suddenly a story to be told. I don't care who goes over, as long as it's not an Irish guy who likes to fight. Benoit would be best. The Undertaker vs. Mark Henry Undertaker will get his big pop against a shockingly somewhat over Mark Henry, it'll be impressive to the casual fan, and the streak is alive. Plus, both men are in this match, preventing them from ruining other matches. Tag Team Turmoil Unification Match Big Show and Kane © vs. MNM © vs. Carlito and Masters vs. The Mexicools vs. Cade & Murdoch vs. The Dicks Who are we kidding? I was scraping bottom to find six teams. Let the tag champs either float, or move exclusively to SmackDown. Cade and Murdoch would be a nice surprise (well, a surprise, anyway). I see it MNM eliminating the Raw champs via some chicanery, and it getting to them vs. Carlito and Masters. Masters acts tweenerish, he's getting some cheers, but Carlito turns on him after weeks of "abuse" from Masters, setting up their feud and giving MNM their due. Not like they're great or anything, but they're the best we got. Ric Flair vs. Mick Foley Not likely, but I can dream. It'd give Mania some needed star power and be a hell of a mark-out moment. Let Foley play heel and let Flair pop the crowd. Cruiserweight Championship Battle Royal Gregory Helms © vs. FUNAKI~! vs. Jamie Noble vs. Paul London vs. Brian Kendrick vs. Nunzio vs. Kid Kash vs. Chavo Guerrero Or do another "Texas Tornado" match, or whatever. Just something to get the belt on the show. Chavo winning would make a great moment. Women's Championship Trish Stratus © vs. Mickey James The obvious, and a real potential sleeper. Let Psycho Mickey go over, and let her really brutalize Trish, and bring some surprise to the normally face-friendly event. Thoughts?

Where do you live, gWIL? Up here in Minnesota, servers make the same minimum wage as everyone, and then tips on top of that. Plus, I kept getting raises, so when I left I was at about $7/hr plus tips, which put me near $17, $18/hr on a good day. But I know Wisconsin is different, and one of my good friends only made about $2.50/hr, and she worked at a really nice Italian place in Milwaukee.

I used to work as a waiter, and old people do tend to send a lot of food back (comparatively). I remember one later who sent a hot dog back because, and I quote, "the bun is too soft, and too doughy." We had no other buns, so naturally she demanded a free hamburger. But then, cheapskates are cheapskates and I'm sure she was a tight-fisted cunt at 25. I never minded them taking forever, though. I had plenty of tables and made damn good money. But then, we were pretty understaffed.

love and Kotz are both right.

You know what? I do stand by it. Boxes are innocuous. Old people smell like pee. Boxes are the clear winner.

I really do just hate old people, in general.

Heh. Actually, I just got hired for a new job yesterday, and I'll be moving back to first shift, so no more TPIR for me for awhile. C'est la vie.

Sheesh. Same woman just stayed with 50 cents on the wheel. Now, this might not seem so bad, and frankly I wouldn't be as upset if she hadn't tarded it up earlier. But here's the thing: yes, if you spin with 50, there's a one in two chance you bust. But your opponents have two chances. On their first chance, it's 50/50 that they at least tie. But, if they don't, there's another 50% chance they win on the second spin! Overall odds: 75%. It's like in blackjack: you have to play the odds. You can't be against yourself.

There's this game called Pocket Change, where the contestants get a pool of numbers to pick from, to get the price of a car. For the 4th number of this car, the choices were 5, 1, and 9. Here's the exchange: "5" BZZZZZZZZZZZZT "9" BZZZZZZZZZZZZT Bob: "Okay, there's only one number left, so you know what it is." The number 1 is the only number lit up on the board. ...."5" I think I would have had an aneurysm if she'd won the car.