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We cut backstage to the locker room, Jesse Ventura ducking out of the way of various objects -- luggage, chairs, etc. -- being thrown by Narcissistic Ned. Ned slams a chair to the floor, growling. VENTURA Ned, what happened out there? It seemed like you had everything in control. You gotta be upset with the result? NED Upset?! I'm not upset, Jesse. As a matter of fact, I'm thrilled! VENTURA Thrilled? NED The Ned-man doesn't deserve sloppy seconds. Why buy a used car when you can get one just out of the assembly line? While Holly and the Heavenly Rockers are off celebrating, they opened up a whole new can of worms when they attacked a defensiveless man in Jim Cornette. You've once again showed your pettiness in causing pain to those you want, Holly. It isn't sexual this time, but rather intellectual. You wish you had the mind for business like Jimmy does. Because of you he's in the trainer's room being looked over by a team of doctors, possibily having suffered a serious neck injury. The OAOAST isn't big enough for the both of us. So how 'bout we raise the stakes a little, huh? VENTURA Wait a minute, Ned. I gotta remind you, because of your loss you're no longer allowed to get involved in the Heavenly Rockers' affairs. NED Oh, but I think this is one affair they'll be very interested in getting involved in, Jess. Last week Holly said she was willing to risk it all to put an end to her so-called "nightmare." I know how much they hate our guts, that's why we come to them this week willing to risk it all. If you accept our tag team match for next week, Synth and Logan, and our able to beat us 1-2-3, then myself, Simon and Jimmy will leave the OAOAST for life! "YEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!" VENTURA That's a helluva lot you all would be risking, Ned. Are you sure about that? NED We're going all in. If they can hold us down for those 3 seconds it takes to win, we'll leave for life. There's a catch, however. We want this done inside a...STEEL CAGE. Men's manhoods are at stake now. If we're going to lose, we're going to do so as men. Enough of the woman. Enough of the soap opera B.S. It's a man's fight now. Narcissistic Ned exits. VENTURA Unbelieveable! The New New Midnight Express have challenged to the Heavenly Rockers to a match, where if the Midnights lose, they say they'll leave the OAOAST for life. And they want it inside a STEEL CAGE! I'm being told through my earpiece that pretty boy Matthews is with the Heavenly Rockers in their dressing room. Joshie? CUT TO: Heavenly Rockers and Holly-Wood celebrating in the dressing room with a bottle of champagne. Loud rock 'n' roll music playing in the background. JOSH I can barely hear you, Jesse, but thank you. Holly, congratulations on the big win. HOLLY A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. LOGAN And all Ned's gonna be doin' tonight is his right hand. SYNTH (slurred speech) A jack-off jacking off! LOGAN Excuse the Synthmeister, Josh, he gets drunk easily. JOSH I'm sure the party has just begun. But I was with you guys as you heard the challenged issued by the New New Midnight Express. They want you two inside a steel cage next week. LOGAN Did they say they'd leave for life, J-Math? JOSH For life. LOGAN There's nothing more I'd like in the world -- besides having Holly by my side, of course -- than seeing the New New Midnight Express and their con-artist manager Jim Cornette out of the OAOAST. I don't know about you guys, but something sounds fishy here, don't you think? SYNTH Yeah, yeah, yeah. 'Em pussies gonna be gone fishin' next week! LOGAN I like the sound of that. What about you, Holly? HOLLY If it means bye-bye Neddy, then... Na, na, na, na, na, na... a-hey, hey... GOODBYE! LOGAN That settles it. You boys wanna fight like men? Let's fight like men. For the final time ever, the Heavenly Rockers vs. New New Midnight Express. SYNTH CAAAAAAAGE MATCH! JOSH What an announcement, fans. Next week on HeldDOWN, for the last time ever -- the New New Midnight Express vs. the Heavenly Rockers inside a STEEL CAGE! If the Heavenly Rockers win, then the New New Midnight Express will LEAVE the OAOAST. Next week will be rockin', guys. Back to you at Sofa Central. COLE What a blockbuster! A steel cage match next week -- for the New New Midnight's CAREERS! CABOOSE This isn't right, but it won't matter, because the MX will beat that boy band, anyway. COACH Hold on, playas. You know the Coach loves the ladies... CABOOSE Or so you claim. COACH ...anyway, we've got a camera on Floggin' Molly in the back! HOLLA~! (“Floggin” Molly Matthews is strolling down the hallways with two bottles of a sports drink in which the label has been blurred (looking suspiciously like the non-OAOAST endorsed Gatorade). She’s obviously looking for someone in particular, as looking in random rooms would be weird otherwise, even for the ever strange Molly. Her face brightens up as she looks in one of the women’s change room. The cameraman peeks in, hoping he doesn’t get his ass kicked my a bunch of half dressed females, but breathes a sigh of relief when he just sees a dressed Jade Rodez!) MOLLY Jade! There you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you! JADE Um, hey Molly. You’ve been looking everywhere? Where else would I be? MOLLY Oh, I dunno. Catering? Calvin’s office? The production truck? How was I supposed to know you’d be in a random room like this? JADE Random room? This is the women’s change room Molly… MOLLY We have our own change room? Wow! Guess I can take my stuff out of the janitor’s closest…want a drink? (Though a bit surprised at the sudden change of conversation, Jade gladly accepts the water bottle) MOLLY So…I hear you have a match against Valerie and Constance tonight. I was thinking, since those two valley girls interfered in my match last week, we could team up and wreak havoc. I hear you’re doing awesome in your training from the grapevine. JADE Thanks Molly, but I have a partner already. I know how much you want to get your hands on them… MOLLY (sighing) Oh well. Guess I’ll have to wait in line and get my hands on them next week. Anywho, good luck in your match tonight! That punch of vodka should sure get your blood flowing! JADE (spitting out the Gatorad-erm, I mean, generic sports drink) VODKA? I knew it tasted familiar! You spiked this with vodka?!? MOLLY Well duh. I put vodka in everything. Doesn’t everyone? Geez, what a weirdo… (As Molly exits the room, Jade just shakes her head) JADE And I thought I would be the weirdest girl here! Hm, on second thought, this actually tastes pretty good…

Backstage, Josh "J Math" Matthews is standing by with the two newest Upstarts in the OAOAST, Christian Wright and HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion Bohemoth. MATTHEWS Okay, Christian...what we saw last week on your part was shocking to say the least. You and Bohemoth joined forces with Drek Stone and The Global Party Exchange to beat down Black T. But, before we get to that, there's a question that you need to answer. Namely, the challenge made by Leon Rodez last week. He wants you at Angleslam...the question is, are you going to accept? WRIGHT I would love to accept Leon Rodez's challenge towards me. However... MATTHEWS However? WRIGHT However, meaning 'in whatever manner or degree, nevertheless, in any degree'...I unfortunately am not able to do so. For you see, last week, if you review the footage you will discover that I tragically suffered an injury that will keep me out of action for the foreseeable future. MATTHEWS You're trying to say that you got injured last week from sneak attacking Black T? WRIGHT No no. The injury occured soon afterwards. In his evident frustration, Drek Stone obtained a cup of coffee and hurled it to the ground in close proximity to myself. I slipped on the coffee, tearing my MCL. *points out kneebrace* So, unfortunate as it may be, Leon Rodez, I cannot commit to a match with you at this point. However, having spoken to doctors and physicians at length in the past week, I have been given suitable recovery times. And, if the offer were to be extended again in...3, 4...maybe 5 months, I will gladly accept. Josh doesn't know what to make of any of this...until, suddenly, GM Calvin Szechstein has arrived! CALVIN I didn't understand a word of what you just said, so forgive me if I missed anything. But, you're telling me that you've torn your ACL? WRIGHT Yes Mr Szechstein, that is unfortunately true. CALVIN Really? WRIGHT Yes. Bohemoth tries to point something out to Wright, but apparantly isn't heard. CALVIN So...you have a torn ACL...AND, a torn MCL? WRIGHT Wh...Wha...? CALVIN You said you tore your MCL, but now you're saying you tore your ACL. Call me suspicious, but something stinks around here. No note has been recieved from your doctor. No word has come from you to head office not to be booked on house shows or HeldDOWN. Hell, I swear I saw you drive out of the arena last week. With a torn MCL and a torn ACL. So, if you're gutsy enough to drive a car with such 'serious' 'injuries'...then, I'm sure you can manage to compete at Angleslam against Leon Rodez. WRIGHT I don... CALVIN Infact, let me rephrase that. I hope you can manage to compete at Angleslam, against Leon Rodez. Because as new GM, I want Angleslam to be the greatest show of the year, hands down. I want my first PPV in control to blow all others out of the water. Matches like you versus Leon Rodez can do that. So, I'm going over your head here Christian, I'm forgoing the whole 'Guy makes challenge, other guy accepts' deal. Officially, as of right now, I'm booking that match for Angleslam. Leon Rodez versus Christian Wright...is on...at Angleslam. Cal begins to walk off, but smiles and turns back around. CALVIN Oh, and...get well soon. Off walks Calvin, leaving Wright fuming. Angrily, Wright tears off his fake kneebrace and hurls it off camera. WRIGHT Fine. In that case...I'll take Leon Rodez on at Angleslam. And he will regret the day that he dared challenge me! *cut to Sofa Central~* COLE Christian Wright getting a little of what he deserves! CABOOSE Bah. Screw you, Cole. COLE Narcissistic Ned vs. Holly-Wood is coming up next. Split-screen: Tony Schiavone in the locker room with the New New Midnight Express and Jim Cornette; Josh Matthews at the backstage interview position with Holly-Wood and the Heavenly Rockers. COLE (CONT'D) But before we go to the ring, Tony Schiavone and Josh Matthews are standing by with the people involved. Let's hear some last minute comments from Narcissisitic Ned and Holly-Wood. We'll start first with Tony Schiavone, who's with Narcissistic Ned. Tony? CUT TO: Tony and Ned in the locker room. Sarcastic Simon and Jim Cornette, both men dressed to the nines in tuxedos -- a flamboyant tuxedo in Corny's case, breaking out the black and gold longtail tux -- also in the room. SCHIAVONE Along with Narcissistic Ned, I'm also joined by Sarcastic Simon and Jim Cornette. Ned, you've been waiting for this opportunity for quite some time now. For months we've seen you on OAOAST chasing Holly, and despite her many rejections you've kept hounding and hassling her and the Heavenly Rockers. Tonight it all ends one way or the other. If you win, Holly must sleep with you. If she wins, however, then you must stay out of her and the Heavenly Rockers affairs. NED It wasn't rejection, Tony, rather a classic game of hard to get. George Washington, J.F.K., and Martin Luther King all fought for man. I join them tonight in fighting for man and for the hand of the lovely Ms. Holly-Wood. You see, Holly, honey bunny, the sexual tension between has finally reached its climax. I see that twinkle in your eye when you hear my name. You want me. Who can blame you? Every woman wants a piece of the Ned-man. But only a select few have that opportunity. Of course those women didn't step inside a ring to fight for that honor, but I'll go along with your foreplay request. And that's what our match really is -- foreplay. The real funs begins after hours at the Hilton. SCHIAVONE You act like this is a foregone conclusion. NED It is. SCHIAVONE (CONT'D) Let me remind you, Holly is a former Women's Champion. She knows how to handle herself in the ring. NED I don't deny that. But I also don't deny she's in for one rough night. Don't worry, baby, I won't need your face to have fun with you when we're on that king size bed. The springs have been reinforced. The champagne is on ice. You're probably on the pill, so I'll just throw out the rubbers. After I pin you, we'll go straight to the hotel and room 469. Love conquers all. And we'll be conquering each other. See ya in the ring, then in the hotel, sweetcheeks. Ned and company exit. SCHIAVONE Let's go to Josh Matthews with Holly-Wood. CUT TO: Josh Matthews with Holly-Wood and the Heavenly Rockers at the backstage interview position (a OAOAST backdrop). Logan and Holly standing side-by-side, his arm around her. He's the nervous one. JOSH Thank you, Tony Schiavone. I'm standing here with the woman who will face Narcissistic Ned in a matter of moments, Holly-Wood. Holly, we're just seconds away from without question the biggest match of your life. If you beat Ned he promises to leave you and the Heavenly Rockers alone forever. What are your thoughts heading into this big match? HOLLY My only thought is kicking Ned's ass! That son-of-a-bitch has put me and the people I care for through hell. Why? Just because I won't sleep with him. What kind of a reason is that? When I go to bed at night, I think to myself: "What would have happened if this had occurred in the WWE?" We'd probably be feuding over spilled coffee, thus saving me 8 months of hell. SYNTH But the OAOAST knows how to bring the drama for everyone and their mama. HOLLY Cancel the hotel reservations, Neddy, because after tonight I'll never have to deal with you again. And once I'm done with you, Ned, then I'm moving on to Jim Cornette. Outside of Ned, Cornette has been a thorn in my side. Well, Jamie, if you try any funny business I got a little something just for you. The nightmare ends tonight! Then it's onto winning the World tag team championship. Count on it. SYNTH Deal with that ya'll mutha'f...! JOSH Let's go to the ring. BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall. Under the rules agreed upon by both participants, if Narcissistic Ned wins he will get Holly-Wood for the night; if Holly wins then Ned must leave her and the Heavenly Rockers alone forever. And, ladies and gentlemen, I have just been informed that the respective parties for each competitor have been BANNED from ringside! COLE Excellent call by our new General Manager. COACH Awww. What kind of a threat is Jim Cornette? COLE That tennis racket of his is. BUFFER Introducing first, from Beverly Hills, California, weighing 240 pounds, "the Handsome Hustler" Narcissistic Ned! "Chase" hits, the crowd rising to their feet and booing the appearance of a solo Narcissistic Ned. The Handsome Hustler walks to the ring with a swagger, climbing up the ring steps and swing over the top rope and landing perfectly on both feet in the ring. He walks over to a corner, making an "X" with his forearms, and removes his silver NNMX vest. He faces the entranceway, stretching his arms and legs. BUFFER And his opponent. From Hollywood, California, weighing enough to kick your ass, Arista Records publicist for the greatest rock 'n' wrestling band of all-time, the Heavenly Rockers...HOLLY-WOOOOOD! "YEEEAAAHHH!" We cut backstage, where Holly is stopped at the gorilla position by Logan Mann. LOGAN Hey, uh, Holly...I, um, wanted to do this in private, but, you know... Aw, damn, why must I suck at letting my feelings be known? I can write a song about sex, drugs and roll 'n' roll, but I can't express my feelings to you. HOLLY Then write a song and tell me. LOGAN I thought of that, but it seems too WWE. I wanted this to be a special moment just between you and me, but then I remembered how much you love watching "A Wedding Story" on TLC, and with all the camers around, it may be kinda fun to do it like that. Unlike Synth, this is my first time doing this. I've been wanting to give you this since last week, but everytime I tell myself to suck it up and just give it to you, well, you know, the butterflies get to me. (takes deep breath) Look, I don't know what's going to happen in the next 5, 10, however many minutes it takes for your match, but whatever the outcome, I want you to know I...I... HOLLY (happily) Yes? LOGAN (CONT'D) ...want to give this to you now. Here you go. Logan hands Holly a gift-wrapped heart-shaped box. Holly gasps, her eyes lighting up. She tears apart the gift-wrap and opens the box. She pulls out... ...a RING. But not the ring she was expecting. HOLLY (disappointed) Oh. LOGAN It's a friendship ring. Friends forever. HOLLY I just had a flashback to a Saved by the Bell epsiode there. LOGAN Heh. Synth's been in the back watching his VHS copies. HOLLY Didn't he buy the DVD box set? LOGAN Yeah, but he says Dustin Diamond asked to borrow it and never returned it. So, uh, do you like the ring. I couldn't help to notice you seemed a bit disappointed. HOLLY Oh, no. I love it. Love it, love it, love it. Thank you. Kiss. TERRY TAYLOR (Off-Screen) Come on, Holly, we don't have all night. HOLLY & LOGAN Shut up, rooster! HOLLY Well, I better go. LOGAN Yeah. Holly climbs up the stairs. LOGAN Holly. HOLLY Yeah? LOGAN Before you go out there I want you to know that I...I... HOLLY Got me another present? LOGAN No. I, um... Good luck out there, girl. Heh. I should really come up with some cute nickname for you. I know you hated the last one. HOLLY Calling a woman "bitch," no matter how much love it's intended to have, doesn't exactly make a girl feel warm and fuzzy on the inside. LOGAN Yeah, I know. Good luck. I'll -- We'll be watching. The two kiss and Holly leaves for the ring. We cut back to the arena and Holly walks out onstage to a huge ovation, looking focused as ever. As she nears the ring, Narcissistic Ned rushes over and holds the ropes up for her. Holly walks away and tries entering from another side of the ring, but she is once again met by Ned. COLE Ned stalking Holly. Why can't that narcissistic bastard understand she doesn't want him? Holly ingores Ned's gesture and walks over to another side of the ring. And Ned meets her there, too. Holly finally loses her cool -- flipping Ned off to a loud pop. Narcissistic Ned throws his hands up and shrugs, backing away from the ropes. CABOOSE Why did she have to do that? The guy's trying to be a gentleman, but she isn't responding like a lady. Holly removes her leather biker jacket and tosses it aside, sliding underneath the bottom rope and loosening up in the corner -- jogging in place, pulling back on the ropes, etc. With both competitors in netural corners, Nick Patrick calls for the bell. * DING DING * They both walk up to the center of the ring. Narcissistic Ned acting like his usual arrogant self. The two exchange words, with Ned playfully squeezing Holly's left cheek. She sarcastically smiles, then grits her teeth and decks Ned with a forearm smash! Holly floats back to the corner after having stung like a bee. Ned, eyes wide, uses the ropes to pull himself up to a knee, massaging his jaw. "YOU GOT SERVED!" "YOU GOT SERVED!" "YOU GOT SERVED!" COLE It's been awhile since we've heard that chant. CABOOSE I could've waited awhile longer. Blanchard rises to his feet, shaking off the cobwebs. Embarrssed, Narcissistic Ned leaps to the center of the ring, stomping the mat with both feet, telling Holly to come over and lockup. COLE Ned very eager to lockup. CABOOSE I'd be eager, too, if Holly were my opponent. COACH We're gonna see how rough Holly likes it now. Collar-and-elbow tie-up, Narcissistic Ned going behind and riding Holly like a mechanical bull, smiling as he blows in her ear. Holly stuns Blanchard with a reverse elbow to the right temple and countering the waistlock into a hammerlock. It doesn't take Narcissistic Ned long to counter into a hammerlock of his own. Twisting the arm, Blanchard makes sure to keep his head pressed against Holly's back, making sure she wouldn't be able to connect with any more back elbows. Holly sticks her right leg between Ned's and takes him down to the mat with a drop toehold, then floats over the top into a front facelock. Blanchard pops back to his feet, backing Holly-Wood in the corner, pressing all his weight against her. Nick Patrick asking for a clean break. Ned lowers his head, placing his forarms on Holly's chest. He slowly raises his head up and then JIGGLES Holly's breasts. "OOOOOOOOOOO!" Ned backs away, smirking. COACH I guess we're still in the "feeling out" period, fellas. Holly scowls. She SPITS her wad of GUM in Ned's face and SLAPS him. That's only the beginning of her onslaught. She SPEARS Ned to the mat and buries the knee into the groin, hammering the Handsome Hustler with hard forearm smashes to the face. Ned grabs Holly by the throat and SLAPS her. COACH Ha! That gets her off. COLE Would you stop! You've spent the past two weeks spouting off one-liners with double meanings. Call the damn match. CABOOSE Looks who's talking. Narcissistic Ned measures up and viciously kicks Holly in the ribs, stomping her on the back of the head as she rolls away. Ned drops down and CHOKES Holly, using his free hand to SLAP her. "You want him over me, bitch?" Ned says, shaking uncontrollably as he continues choking Holly. Nick Patrick physically pulls Ned off Holly. Blanchard gets up and shoves Patrick, who immediately warns of a DQ if Ned gets too physical. Holly picks herself up in the corner. Blanchard nailing her from behind with a running knee to the spine of the back that sends the Arista Records publicst crashing sternum-first into the corner. Holly rests her head on the top turnbuckle, moaning. Ned grabs Holly's hand, locating the index finger and... COLE Ned BITING Holly's finger! COACH Uh, Mikey, he's not biting her finger. COLE Then what is that bastard doing? COACH He's... ...SUCKING HOLLY'S FINGER! COLE How disgusting! Not only has Narcissistic Ned fondled Holly in this match, he's getting...pardon me...kinky. Holly GOUGES the eyes, Ned quickly responding with a shot to the gut. He pulls Holly out of the corner just to throw her back in. Ned steps back and goes all Karate Kid on us, getting in his karate stance and kicking Holly in her temples with both feet. J.R. Van Dam-- I mean, Narcissistic Ned punishing Holly-Wood with those edcuated feet. Pointing in the air, Blanchard takes a giant step back. Sidekick-- No, Holly catches Ned's foot coming in! The crowd -- and Ned, for that matter -- waiting for Holly to make her move. Ned putting his hands together, begging the crowd to reason with Holly. The crowd full of sinners roar in approval as Holly-Wood takes Ned over with a DRAGON SCREW LEGWHIP! Blanchard getting up holding his knee. Holly off the ropes with a dropkick to that very knee. Holly tries whipping Ned to the ropes, but his knee gives out. Narcissistic Ned waistlocked, Holly lifting him up in the air and dropping the Handsome Hustler on his tailbone on her knee. Inverted atomic drop. Ned freezes, wincing in pain. Another inverted atmoic drop. Holly takes Ned up for a third. Ned jumping in place from the pain, then grabs his knee. COACH Poor Handsome Hustler. First the knee, then the family jewels, and back to the knee again. COLE Somehow I doubt you'll find a lot of concern folks for Narcissistic Ned. Holly hits the ropes and levels Ned with a clothesline. She picks him up by the hair and successively rams him into the top turnbuckle. ONE... TWO... THREE... FOUR... FIVE... SIX... SEVEN... EIGHT... NINE... Holly puts her BOOT up on the top turnbuckle... ...TEN! Ned stumbles out of the corner, groggy, and drops on all-fours, placing his forehead on the mat due to exhaustion. Holly gives the Handsome Hustler a taste of his own medicine, kicking him in the ribs. Narcissistic Ned rolls to the corner, clutching his ribs. Holly brings him to his feet and shoves him into the corner. She rubs her hands seductively on Ned's chest. HOLLY Do you like that, baby? NED (smiling) Oh, yeah. Give it to me all, honey bunny. Holly stops rubbing Ned's chest, his eyes widening as he sees Holly bring her hand back and then forward. * CHOP * "WHOOOOOOOOOO!" Ned grabbing his chest, crying out. Holly punches him in the gut, causing Ned to lower his guard. * CHOP * "WHOOOOOOOOOO!" * CHOP * "WHOOOOOOOOOO!" Blanchard whipped across the ring. He bounces hard out of the corner and straight into a bodydrop! He crawls to the ropes and pulls himself up. He turns around and... ...Holly CLOTHESLINES him over the top to the floor! Holly-Wood powerwalks around the ring, slapping the ropes with enthusiasm. She steps out on the apron, placing her finger across her mouth, asking the fans to stay quiet as attempts to catch Ned by surprise. The only person caught by surprise is Holly, herself, as the Handsome Hustler catches her diving off the apron and RAMS her back-first into the RINGPOST! COLE Oh, my God! Holly may be hurt. She may be seriously hurt. She tried coming off the apron with a diving clothesline, but Ned caught her mid-air and drove her into the ringpost. I'm not sure if she can recover from this. This may be too much for her to overcome. CABOOSE High-risk, high reward. If she would've hit the move chances are she could have thrown Ned back into the ring and finish him off. Heh, I sounded like Coachman there for a minute. But now it's gonna be Narcissistic Ned who finishes Holly. COLE I understand we have footage from the back of Holly's boyfriend, Logan Mann, reacting from what we just saw. MOMENTS AGO A small box appears in the left-hand corner of the screen. Logan and Synth watching from the monitor in their dressing room. Logan lowers his head into both hands as Holly is drilled into the ringpost. Synth tries keeping him upbeat by patting him on the back. COLE This has gotta be tough on Logan, only being able to watch from the sidelines. COACH Oh, man, this is great. Not only will he finish her off now, but he'll be finishing off on her -- or in her, because we know how Holly likes it -- later tonight. You think the Ned-man would let me watch. We're close, you know. COLE What the hell is wrong with you?! Are you sexually repressed or something? If you keep acting like this pretty soon it'll be Jerry Lawler sitting in your chair. COACH No, no. Not Lawler. I'll be good. I'll be good. COLE Holly tossed back in. She tries buying herself some time by rolling across the ring and falling to the floor. Narcissistic Ned just getting back in himself. Now he has to walk all the way to the other side and stepping back out. Holly picked up by her hair, Ned copping a feel as he places her on the apron. Narcissistic Ned slides back in and pulls Holly up on the apron. COLE Don't tell me he's gonna... COACH Yes! DOUBLE UNDERHOOK SUPLEX from the ring apron back inside the ring! Narcissistic Ned rolls through and puts Holly in a sitting double underhook. Nick Patrick asking Holly if she wants to quit, prompting a "HELL, NO!" "YEEEAAAHHH!" "Oh, she wants me," Ned tells Nick Patrick, who looks back at him with a whatever-type of expression on his face. Nick wipes the sweat off his brow and asks Holly again. He gets the same reply and now just waits and see along with the rest of us. Holly turns the other cheek, grimacing, as Ned KISSES her on her neck. COLE What arrogance from Narcissistic Ned. COACH Come on, Mikey. Look at Tommy Lee. That dude has banged Heather-freaking-Locklear and Pamala Anderson. Chicks dig bad boys. COLE Both of those marriages ended in divorce. CABOOSE And a case of Hepatitis C for Pam. The fans clap and stomp their feet in support of Holly. "HOLLY!" "HOLLY!" "HOLLY!" The crowd support and Ned's taking liberties fires Holly up. She rises up to a knee. Then a second. Sensing he's in danger Narcissistic Ned throws KNEES to Holly's face. She switching putting her knees up to lessen the impact of the blow. Unfortunately for Ned, the knee that got worked over earlier in the match collides with Holly's, allowing her to take him up and over -- all of Holly's weight crashing down on top of him. CABOOSE That's the move Larry Zbyszko used to beat Lord Steven Regal with at Slamboree 1994. I remember this vividly because England went into a brief depression after that and when his Lordship lost the World Television Title. COLE It's a test of strength now. Can Holly hold on? ONE... TWO... TH-- NO! COLE Oh, my! Blanchard just managed to break free. Narcissistic Ned is the first to get back to his feet. He charges Holly with his arm outstretched, but Holly ducks under and hits the ropes, taking Blanchard off his feet with a SPINNING HEEL KICK! Narcissistic Ned quickly rises to his feet -- but Holly rolls him up in a SMALL PACKAGE. ONE... TWO... TH-- KICKOUT! COLE The crowd gasps again, as Holly was half-a-count away from riding herself and the Heavenly Rockers of Narcissistic Ned endless overtures forever. Ned taken off his feet again, this time courtest of a shoulderblock. Holly dives on top, but Blanchard kicks out at two. Holly-Wood hits the far side of the ring, picking up a full head of steam and connecting perfectly with CROSS BODYBLOCK! ONE... TWO... TH-- NO, KICKOUT! Side headlock takeover, Ned scissoring the head, keeping Holly's head stuff down near his crotch. Holly rolls over and loosens the tight grip the Handsome Hustler has on her, getting to a vertical base and spinning around. She floats on top of Blanchard. The crowd "oohing" and "aahing" as Narcissistic Ned BRIDGES UP and goes for a BACKSLIDE -- but Holly flips back over, grabs a front facelock and hits PERCUSSION (DDT)! Ned's head bouncing off the mat, but more importantly, his body landing near the ropes. Holly crawls over and covers Ned, hooking the near leg. ONE... TWO... TH-- NO, FOOT ON THE ROPES! COACH (deep breathe) I don't know how much longer the crowd has before they pass out. I don't know how much longer I have. COLE Oh! Holly was just ONE FOOT away from having her 8 month long nightmare come to an end. CABOOSE When your adreanline mixes with emotion it leads to mental mistakes. And that's what we just saw. Instead of hooking the the far leg, the one closest to the ropes, she hooked the near. It allowed Ned to put the foot on the rope. I think she took Percussion for granted. Every wrestler has their go-to move, the one that once you hit you know it's over. Percussion is more of a luxery to Holly considering she prefers the Hollywood Groove or Rodeo Driver, but when you take into consideration that she trains with the Heavenly Rockers, who may have the best DDT in the sport, you know she knows how to use it. Holly scoopes Ned up and slams him in the center of the ring. She points to the top, taking a moment to soak in the cheers from the fans, and mocks Narcissistic Ned by STUTTER-STRUTING to the corner. From the inside of the ring and her back facing Ned, Holly starts climbing up to the top. Narcissistic Ned gets up holding the top of his head, and catches Holly going up, pounding the back of her neck with forearms. Blanchard positions himself on the middle rope and BACK SUPLEXES Holly to the mat! ONE... TWO... TH-- NO! Holly just gets the shoulder up. Ned now zooming in on the back, wearing it down for his Slingshot Suplex. Blanchard driving the knee repeatedly in the spine of the back, wrenching on the neck. In pain, Holly refuses to quit. There's too much riding on this to quit. She summons for the crowd, stomping the heel of her boot on the mat. The cheers get Holly going. She fights back to her feet, throwing a couple of elbows in the ribs of Ned. She tries whipping him to the ropes, but Ned stays in control by reeling Holly back in by her hair. Ned drops Holly with an elbow to the back. Blanchard calls for the SLINGSHOT SUPLEX. He hits it! But instead of covering Holly, he picks her up and places her in a BEARHUG. He stuffs his head between Holly's breasts, shaking her wildly, THRUSTING UP, smiling. COLE Ah, this guy is a world-class ass-- I'm sorry, fans. I shouldn't be talking like that, but Ned -- the man's a class-A jerk. He had her beat, but instead of getting the 1-2-3 he wants to dish out some more pain. COACH I've never seen a more exciting bearhug in my life. I saw it right there! COLE She didn't quit. COACH I know. I saw her say, "Take me here, Ned. Take me right now. I want you, Neddy Bear." COLE The hell she did! "HOLLY!" "HOLLY!" "HOLLY!" COLE The fans won't let Holly give up. But she's beginning to go down. COACH ... COLE Don't. COACH Nick Patrick raises Holly's arm up once. It goes down. Twice. It goes down again. COLE If it falls here, it's over. NO! Holly keeps the arm up. She fights out of the bearhug with forearms to the face. She hits the ropes for some steam, ducking under a leapfrog. Ned caught coming off the ropes with a hip toss. Lateral press. ONE... KICKOUT! COLE It was nearly over there. Ned takes Holly to the canvas with a double-leg takedown. Ned sliding down Holly, pinning her in a very compromising position! COACH I've seen guys be pinned like that before. Get your head out of the gutter, Michael Cole. ONE... SHOULDER UP! Holly got the shoulder up. Still in that compromising position, Ned then holds down Holly's left hand. ONE... SHOULDER UP AGAIN! Now Ned holds both hands down. ONE... TWO... NO! COLE Oh, what great strength. Holly BRIDGING UP ON HER NECK with all of Ned's weight down on top of her. COACH Later tonight, not only will Ned be on top of her, he'll be in her! COLE COACH I'm sorry. I had to say. Ned jumps up and crashes all his weight down on Holly. ONE... TWO... NO! Holly bridges out. Ned jumps back up...and lands on Holly's SHINS! Holly rolls back and front facelocks Ned. RODEO DRIVER, twisting fisherman's suplex! COLE THIS IS IT! ONE... COLE No, I take that back. Competitiors are jixed when the announcer says that. COACH No, you're right, Mikey. It's over. TWO... TH-- NO, KICKOUT! COACH Holly scoopes him up and slams Ned in the center of the ring. She goes up to the top, her back facing Ned. COLE I sure hope she knows what she's doing here. It didn't work out for her last time. As Holly balances herself on the top, Ned gets up and waits for here to come off. Holly leaps backwards, and Ned catches her in mid-air and has her set for a TOMBSTONE PILDRIVER. But instead of spiking her in the mat, he wastes his time making sexual gestures -- sticking his tongue out, etc. COLE What an ass! COACH It sure is. I wonder if its tan or pale. A couple of the boys and I were wondering about that. COLE You're an ass too. Still showboating, Holly HEADBUTTS Ned upside down in the GROIN! She keeps doing so until she's able to roll Ned over in a modified victory roll, and gets back to her feet, the crowd cheering wildly as she puts Ned in the HOLLYWOOD GROOVE, a/k/a the Liontamer! COLE SHE HAS IT LOCKED IN! SHE HAS IT ON! Ned's gonna quit. Sarcastic Simon and Jim Cornette rush out from the back to aid Ned. COLE Wait a minute. They're supposed to be banned from ringside. What the hell are they doing out here? We need security out here, damnit! "YEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!" COLE Oh, yeah! We got some heavy security coming out here with the permission of our esteem General Manager. COACH This is a disgrace! THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS catch up with Singleton and Cornette. Synth and Logan bring Simon and James E. together. DOUBLE COCONUT! Seeing what has happened on the AngleTron, Narcissistic Ned can no longer hold on and GIVES UP! * DING DING DING DING * "YEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Holly lets go. Narcissistic Ned rolls out of the ring, holding his back. A group of women jumping out of their ringside seats, crying in joy. COLE SHE DID IT! SHE DID IT! SHE DID IT! Holly has freed herself and the Heavenly Rockers from that jerk Narcissistic Ned! The Heavenly Rockers embrace Holly mid-ring. The 3 sharing a group hug. Synth leaves Holly and Logan alone, the two taking a much deserved moment to kiss. They hug. The crowd continuing to cheer like crazy in the background. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winner...HOLLY-WOOOOOD! Narcissistic Ned must now stay out of Holly's and the Heavenly Rockers' affairs FOR...EVER! "YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!" The New New Midnight Express and Jim Cornette strike from behind. Holly going down from a Jim Cornette TENNIS RACKET shot. Synth thrown over the top. The Midnights working over Logan. Blanchard picks Mann up and holds him for Cornette. Cornette taps the racket on the mat and cocks it back and... * BOOM * ...nails NARCISSISTIC NED! Logan ducked! Synth slides back into the ring catches a shock Sarcastic Simon by surprise with a kick to the gut and places him in a front facelock. Logan reels Ned in. A double case of PERCUSSION (DDT)! They then turn their attention to Jim Cornette. James E. putting both hands up, begging for mercy. He doesn't know Holly-Wood is standing behind him. He keeps backing away. Still backing...backing... * BUMP * He turns around -- knee to the gut. Cornette doubles over, Holly locking him in a front facelock. She twirls his finger in the air, signaling for... ...PERCUSSION! "YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!" But she isn't done yet. She asks the fans if she should do it again. COACH Don't these people have any compassion? PERCUSSION! One more? "YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" PERCUSSION! COACH James E. might be hurt. COLE Oh, that's too bad. I'll be sure to say a prayer for him tonight. COACH (sarcastically) How kind of you, M.C. The crowd pops loudly one more time, as "G's & Soliders" hits. Synth and Logan stand beside Holly, raising her hand in the air. The trio exit, slapping hands with their fans. They look over at the AngleTron and see the Midnights and Cornette laid out in the ring. COLE The nightmare is over. Holly-Wood and the Heavenly Rockers are free. I'm sure they're gonna have a big bash later tonight. HeldDOWN continutes after these words from our sponsers.

The camera cuts to the parking lot backstage. A nice black limousine is shown arriving. The camera does a close-up of the license plate, which reads: LCREW 1 The limousine door opens, and the camera pans up to reveal…VITAMIN X! CROWD BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! VX walks up to the limo driver. VITAMIN X Try to drive better next time. I almost spilled wine on my shirt. DRIVER Sorry, sir. VITAMIN X Well, you still deserve a tip. Vitamin X reaches into his right pocket. VITAMIN X Here you go. DRIVER A penny!? VITAMIN X Just be glad I gave you a tip, sunshine. You almost ruined my $800 shirt! The driver gets back into the limo cursing under his breath. X just smiles at him. VITAMIN X Oh snap! I almost forgot! X heads back into the limo, and comes out with the hubcap he stole from the El Camino! VITAMIN X Can’t come to the ring without this! HA! HA! HA! VX kisses the hubcap, and then starts walking with a smirk on his face. COLE Vitamin X is here in the Georgia Dome! COACH Why did he arrive by himself? The Lightning Crew is already here! CABOOSE Because Vitamin X travels in style! The Lightning Crew may have The Lightning Crew Mobile, but X would rather ride in limos, jet planes, and Its. And you can bet that limo is very expensive! COLE Vitamin X is here, and we got a lot more HeldDOWN~! to come! Stay with us!

Suffice to say Tony is half-right. Show's going up now, an explanation to follow tonight or tomorrow (I just came from the Vikes game and I'm frickin' exhausted).

I don't know much about cricket, but your argument seems awfully thin to me, Eski. When you think a pitch is high and inside and it breaks low, you're severly screwed. Spin is a huge factor, and control of that spin.

@#$% never mind then

If the GPX aren't busy, I'd like to use them....BOTH of them. Tag guys, give me a holla. BTW, they'll be laying down...BOTH of them. Basically, my plan is to have them call Hoff out on only giving "young guys" a shot at his #1 contendership, and Hoff challenges them BOTH later that night (separate matches). Hoff'd win the first decisively, but the second would give him a run for his money, probably ending in a roll-up or something. The boys then lay Hoff out until Axel makes the save. Lemme know if that's cool.

There's absolutely different types of spins baseball pitchers use. There's your straight fastball, but even there there's a 2-seam or a 4-seam, with differences in speed and spin. There's also a curveball, which, well, curves; a slider which, y'know, slides; a sinker, and so on. Basically, each pitch has different speed and different motion, and the point is to choose the correct assortment of pitches to prevent the batter from getting a read on your timing, thus preventing him from getting a hit. It takes a lot of training to learn the different pitches, how to hold them, how to move your arm, and how much oomph to put on them. For most guys it's an ongoing process full of expirimentation, especially when you factor in injuries. There's straight fastball guys, guys like Randy Johnson, and there's guys who can't throw that fast but have great movement on their pitches, like Brad Radke. But the best guys are usually the ones that can do both. So, yeah, there's a lot of skill involved.

Yeah there's no technique to pitching a baseball, at all....

I apologize for being beyond lazy lately, and the lack of feedback. I'll...try my best to motivate myself. Anyway, this week, Hoff has words for the World Champion, Axel. Also, will we hear from CSI? Tune in to find out?

....cricket?

I have no idea what's going on right now.

I'm your hook-up, holla if ya hear me. Show will be up around 10 PM Eastern, so try to have everything to me by then.

Dirty Deeds @ Fenway?

You have piqued my curiosity. What were you originally gonna say?

The cameras cut to a shot of Triple C at ringside, manning Sofa Central as only they can. COLE Fans, it has been a wild night here on HeldDown. We've learned that we have a new General Manager, and that he is CALVIN SZECHSTEIN-- CABOOSE And Boss, I hope you got that fruit basket I sent in. COLE Wait, how did you already send him a welcoming present? CABOOSE I have my ways. COLE In any event, it has been an eventful night, and we are all set to cap it off with a fantastic main event. Hoff, the number one contender, defending his AngleSlam title shot against the OAOAST Heartland Champion, Alfdogg. COACH Aw, yeah, playas. This is gonna be a hot one. These two guys are red-hot right now, and you know they're gonna tear the house down. COLE Absolutely, two of the hottest, winningest superstars in recent weeks. Hoff of course won the Battlebowl event to win his title shot, and since then he has defended that chance against any and all comers, and not only that, he's beaten each and every one of them. COACH Yeah, and meanwhile, Alfdogg won the then-Puerto Rican title from, well, tha Puerto Rican, renamed it the Heartland Title, and he's held onto it against challenger after challenger! COLE Both these guys had great nights last Sunday at License to Pin, both of them beating CSI members. Hoff over Brock Ausstin, and Alfdogg over Hoff's most notorious rival, Chris Stevens! CABOOSE Well, good for them. COLE And that brings us to tonight. Hoff, Alfdogg, the #1 contendership, and it starts....NOW! Michael Buffer stands in the center of the ring, house mic in hand. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for our MAAAAAAAAAAIN EVENT!! The house lights go down as "The Wall" by Kansas hits the speakers, and the crowd lets out a good-sized cheer! The cheers grow louder as the OAOAST Heartland Champ, Alfdogg, steps onto the stage! COLE And there he is! The man with a golden opportunity! Alf adjusts the Heartland Title belt on his shoulder, shining it with the palm of is hand before patting it. The champ grins cockily as he struts down the aisle. COACH These fans are feelin' Alfdogg here tonight! COLE Lately he's been winning over the crowd, slowly, week by week...plus, he probably has some goodwill left from defeating Chris Stevens on Sunday. CABOOSE The morons in this audience had the gall to boo my man, Chris Stevens, in that violent barbed wire ladder match. But hey, we could do worse than Alfdogg. Alf climbs the ring steps and steps into the ring, holding his Heartland Championship over his head, showing it off for the crowd. Alf hands the title to referee Brian Hebner, who hands it to the timekeeper. COLE Well, Alf seems in high spirits, and hopefully that confidence will give him an edge in his match against, arguably, the hottest commodity in wrestling today. CABOOSE Oh, give it a rest, Cole. "The Wall" fades as Alfdogg takes off his OAOAST Originals jersey, revealing the sleeveless white t-shirt underneath. The fans buzz during the ensuing moments of silence.... [b][color=silver]*BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM~!*[/color][/b] And then COME ALIVE as "Black" hits and onto the stage steps HOFF!!! COLE THERE HE IS!! Hoff looks out over the fans, smiling and nodding his head before making his way down the aisle. The big man slaps the hands of the fans in the aisle, but keeps his gaze on the man in the ring. COACH And Mikey, I don't know if this man is the hottest commodity in wrestling, but he's damn sure the most popular! CABOOSE Bah. You know what? These fans don't know what's what. They boo athletes like Drek Stone, like Chris Stevens, and they cheer slugs like this. It sickens me. Hoff slides into the ring, popping to one knee and looking hard into the eyes of Alfdogg. Alf raises an eyebrow, looking unimpressed by the #1 contender. Hoff gets to his feet, then turns, climbing the near corner. Flashbulbs light the air in the arena as Hoff throws his fist into the air, posing for the crowd. The big man steps off the ropes, then blows past Alfdogg, heading to the far corner and flexing his muscles to another round of flashbulbs. COLE Hoff has told us that he is in the best shape of his career, and I for one believe him. It's going to be a tough road for Alfdogg tonight. CABOOSE Yeah, but don't forget, Alfdogg has championship experience. He's a former World Champion himself. He's done everything Hoff has, and more. In fact, I think Hoff might be the one in for a long night. Hoff hops off the ropes and meets Alfdogg in the center of the ring. The two men lock eyes, Hoff's focused gaze in stark contrast to Alf's self-assured grin. BUFFER This contest is scheduled for one fall, with TV time remaining, and it is for the OAOAST NUM-BER ONE CONTENDERSHIP!!! Introducing first, the challenger. Hailing from Anderson, Indiana, and weighing in at 240 pounds, he is an OAOAST Original, a legend in his own time, and a former Heavyweight Champion of the World. The reigning Heartland Champion, tonight he looks to earn the right to challenge Axel at AngleSlam on August 28th. Ladies and gentlemen.......ALFDOGG!!!!!!!!!!!! Alf turns to the crowd and holds his hands out, looking for applause. A few of the audience members jeer, but the majority give Alfdogg a round of applause. BUFFER And his opponent. From Minneapolis, Minnesota, and weighing in at 275 pounds. He is a former World Champion looking to regain his crown. Tonight, he defends his right to do so as if it were the title itself. The reigning and defending number-one contender......HE IS.....HOFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hoff looks left, then right, raising his fist into the air to a massive ovation. Alfdogg lets out an arrogant laugh, shaking his head at the big man. BUFFER So, for the thousands in attendance tonight, and for the millions watching around the world.....LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLETS GET READY TO RUM-BLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!!!!!!!!!!!! Buffer exits the ring as Brian Hebner reads the instructions to both men. Contender and challenger both nod, prompting Hebner to ring the bell! *ding ding ding ding ding* COLE Here we go! The bell rings, but Hoff and Alf remain unmoving, staring at each other. Alf spits the wad of gum he was chewing out of the ring, then looks at Hoff, jutting out his chin. Alf turns the side of his face to Hoff, offering up a free shot. The fans boo, but Hoff crosses his arms, shaking his head. CABOOSE Aw, come on, ya wimp. Take the shot. Hoff shrugs, prompting Alfdogg to scowl. Alf lowers his jaw, then shoves Hoff back! The big man's eyes flare as he stumbles back, then charges at Alf and tackles him to the mat!! The crowd goes wild as Hoff begins hammering the Heartland champ with big right hands! COLE There you go, Caboose! There's the shot Hoff was waiting for! Alf crawls away from the big man, but Hoff gets to his feet and grabs his foe from behind! Hoff grabs an arm and whips Alf into the ropes. Alf comes back, and Hoff catches him with a shoulderblock that sends him to the canvas! Hoff falls on top of Alfdogg, and Hebner drops to his knees, but Alf kicks out before he can slap the mat. Both men get to their feet, and Hoff again grabs Alf by the arm, whipping him toward the ropes, but Alf reverses and Hoff hits the strands! The big man comes barrelling in, and Alf catches him with a HARD back elbow! Hoff's head snaps back, the impact sending Hoff crashing to the mat. Alf pounces, straddling Hoff's chest and laying in with some right hands of his own! COACH Alfdogg is one tough brawler, and it might be tough for Hoff to match fists with him! Hoff covers, but the fists of Alf do their damage. Alf gets off of his foe, then measures him up before dropping a forearm across Hoff's face! The big man grabs his nose, and Alf hooks his leg for a cover! Hebner counts one, but that's all he gets before Hoff kicks out to a big pop! COLE Hoff powers out easily. Both men going for covers early on, maybe hoping to score a fluke pinfall! CABOOSE As far as I'm concerned, every win of Hoff's is a fluke. COACH Well if that's the case, he's on the biggest fluke streak I've seen in a while. Alfdogg pulls the #1 contender up by the hair, throwing a few forearm shots to the bridge of Hoff's nose. The big man reels, and Alf throws him into the ropes! Hoff comes off the far side, and Alf throws a beautiful superkick, but Hoff catches the boot! Hoff spins the nacho-loving grappler around, grabbing him from behind and planting him with a back suplex! The fans cheer as Hoff rolls up to his feet, sizing up his foe before leaping into the air and dropping a leg across Alfdogg's throat! Hoff rolls over into a cover, ONE, TWO, and Alfdogg kicks out!! CABOOSE I'll say this much. One of Hoff's strongest points is his ability to act on the fly. It's not chain wrestling, per se, although we've seen him do that. It's ring generalship. He knows where he is, and acts accordingly. Hoff, now, picks Alfdogg up by his long locks and drives a knee into his stomach. Alf doubles over, and Hoff grabs his neck, snapping him down with a swinging neckbreaker! The big man goes for another cover, Hebner counts, but again, Alfdogg is out at two. COLE Well we saw Hoff have some trouble with Brock Ausstin on Sunday, but so far, he has been in control here. COACH Well it's rare that Hoff sees somebody as powerful as he is in the ring. He's much more used to seeing these smaller, quicker athletes, and so he knows how to handle them, if ya feel me, playas. Hoff climbs to his knees and pulls Alf's head up, applying the dreaded REAR CHINLOCK~! Hoff squeezes his arms, applying a lot of pressure, but Alf is able to fight up to his feet and throw an elbow to Hoff's gut! Hoff loses his grip, and Alf SMASHES his knee into Hoff's skull!! The crowd "ooohs" as the dull thud resonates throughout the arena, and Hoff falls onto his back. Alf walks over to Hoff, then turns to face the crowd....before delivering a STANDING MOONSAULT!! COLE WOW! What a move! Alf hooks a leg as Hebner makes his count! ONE!! TWO!! THR-NO!!! Hoff kicks out, and the fans applaud! COACH This match is kinda similar to the Hoff/Some Guy affair from a couple weeks ago, although the fans here seem to be giving Alfdogg more respect than they did to SG. COLE So far, both men putting on a clean, if hard-hitting, matchup. Alfdogg, looking a bit miffed that the moonsault wasn't enough, pulls Hoff to his feet and throws a hard blow to Hoff's temple. Hoff stumbles away, resting in the corner, but Alf grabs him, pulls his arm back, and delivers a hard knee to Hoff's ribs! Hoff groans in pain as he doubles over, and Alf pushes him back up and does it again! The fans get on Alf a little bit as he smiles, enjoying the punishment he's laying on the #1 contender. Alf drives another knee into the ribs of Hoff, then pulls him out by the hair. Alf hooks Hoff by the head, grabs his waist, and brings him over with a snap suplex. Alf floats into a cover, and the official makes the count! ONE!! TWO!! KICKOUT!! COLE Almost got him right there! CABOOSE Alfdogg's got his momentum rolling, fellas. Alfdogg pulls his opponent to his feet and hooks Hoff once more for a vertical suplex. Alf tries to lift the big man, but Hoff blocks it with his leg! Hoff throws a knee to Alf's gut, and another! The fans cheer, but the cheers turn sour as Alf lets go, rears back, and smashes Hoff with a huge headbutt! Hoff spins, reeling in pain! COACH Alfdogg is using his h-- CABOOSE DON'T say it. COACH Yeah all right, but you know what I was gonna say. Alf grabs Hoff-- COACH ALF USED HIS HEAD LOLZ~! CABOOSE You SON OF A-- Caboose, on the sofa, tackles Coach as Alfdogg grabs Hoff by the back of the neck, snapping him down with a modified neck breaker! Alf gets to his feet and stalks around Hoff, grabbing the big man by the legs! The fans buzz as Alf steps through! COLE Alfdogg could be going for the Sharpshooter! Alf crosses Hoff's legs as the big man struggles!! Alf leans to one side, trying to turn the big man onto his stomach, but Hoff resists! Alf tries to turn the other direction, but Hoff kicks him off! Alf bounces into the ropes and comes off, kicking at Hoff, but the big man rolls out of gthe way and gets to his feet! Alfdogg angrily grabs Hoff and shoves him into the corner, rifling off a knifedge chop-- "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" --but Hoff grabs Alf and reverses, throwing him into the corner! The fans go wild as Hoff rears back and throws a big right hand, and another, and another! Hoff tears into Alf with big rights, then grabs his dazed foe and whips him corss-corner! Alf hits the far buckles hard, his back arching in pain....then gets SQUASHED with a Stinger Splash! COLE Stinger Splash! Hoff is rolling!! Hoff backs out of the corner with a smile, and Alfdogg falls to the canvas! Hoff rolls him onto his back and hooks the leg! ONE!! TWO!! NO!! Alfdogg throws a shoulder up!! COLE Hoff coming awfully close to retaining his contendership! The big man pulls Alfdogg to his feet, then throws him into the ropes and catches him with a high back body drop-- NO!! Alf flips in midair and lands on his feet! Hoff turns around--right into an Alfdogg superkick!! The big man crashes to the mat, and Alf drops on top of him, hooking the leg!! COLE Will it be enough? ONE!! TWO!! THRNO!!! Kickout!! The crowd lets out an audible sigh as Hoff throws his shoulder into the air. COLE Hoff just barely kicking out of that big superkick by Alfdogg! Alf, looking exasperated, gets to his feet, waving Hoff up. The crowd throws Alf a few boos as Hoff slowly gets to his feet. Alf sneaks up behind him and hooks him in a full nelson, but Hoff slips his arms free and ducks behind Alf with a standing switch! Hoff hooks Alf with a rear waistlock and tosses him overhead with a German suplex! He holds the bridge! Hebner with the count!! ONE!! TWO!! NO!!! Alfdogg throws a shoulder up, breaking the bridge! COLE So, so close! Hoff rolls up to his feet and grabs Alf, pulling him up from behind! The #1 contender clubs Alf in the back of the neck, then grabs him from behind, hooking him in a rear facelock that sends the fans to their feet! COACH FUTURE SHOCK! CABOOSE Oh, no. COLE Hoff looking for the Future Shock! No need to say that if he hits this, it's all over! CABOOSE Then don't say it! Hoff grabs Alf by the waistband of his pants and hauls him overhead...but Alf shifts his weight and lands behind Hoff!! Hoff turns, and Alf quickly grabs his arm and throws him into the ropes! Hoff comes off and Alf grabs him, spins him, and drops him in the center of the ring with a SPINEBUSTER!! COLE Shades of Arn Anderson!! CABOOSE And you know Hoff can't be happy with that! Alf gets to his knees, then his feet as he looks down at Hoff....then turns his gaze to the corner! The fans again gets up as Alf heads to the apron!! COACH FIVE-STAR ALF SPLASH!! COLE Alf could be looking for his signature maneuver, that big, huge, high-impact Five-Star Alf Splash!! The crowd actually cheers as Alf climbs up the ropes! Alfdogg stands to his full height...looks down at Hoff...and leaps! Flashbulbs again go off across the crowd as Alf delivers the Five-Star.....but Hoff lifts his boot and catches Alf in the FACE!!!!! COLE OH MY!! The audience holds its breath as Alf's face plummets into the underside of Hoff's boot, stopping the splash before it can reach its target! Alf falls to the mat, dead weight, as Hoff lowers his foot to the mat. COLE Did Hoff ever dodge a bullet there!! Let's take one more look at it! The SUPER SLO-MO replay shows Alf leaping off the top, pumping his arms and legs, and falling face-first onto Hoff's size 14. Meanwhile, in live action, Hoff climbs to his feet, stalking to Alfdogg's motionless body! COACH And Hoff is in complete control, fellas. Alfdogg may be out. COLE Let's see if Hoff goes for a cover here! Hoff walks over to Alf and picks him up by the hair, grabbing him by the arm and whipping him toward the ropes....but Hoff hangs on, yanks Alf back in, and turns him INSIDE OUT with a short-arm clothesline!! Alf does a flip in midair before landing face-down on the canvas!! The fans cheer as Hoff slashes his arms, ROARING to the crowd!! COLE Hoff ready to put Alfdogg away here!! Hoff stalks around Alfdogg, grabs the legend by the right leg...and LOCKS IN THE ANKLELOCK!!! Alf SCREAMS in pain as he hops on one foot, trying to get away, but Hoff pulls him away from the ropes and twists on the ankle!! COLE The anklelock applied! This has to be it!! Hebner checks to see if Alfdogg wants to quit, but Alf shakes his head. Alf hops, trying to break free, but Hoff keeps the hold locked in! Alf stays up, though, and manages to reach the ropes!! Hebner starts his five count, but Alf lunges forward, diving over the top rope...and sending Hoff over and onto the arena floor!!! COACH DAYUM~! Hoff lands HARD on the thin protective mats, back-first, reeling in pain. Alf pushes himself back into the ring, and the fans applaud as he shakes out his ankle. COLE Well you've got to admire Alfdogg's resillience, as well as his innovative counter to that hold! We'll see if he can capitalize here! Hoff, slowly, gets to his feet. As he turns to face the ring, Alfdogg runs the ropes...and comes flying over the top with the SPACE FLYING TIGER DROP!! The fans go BANANA as Alf wipes Hoff out, as well as himself, the two men landing in a heap at ringside!! "HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT!" CABOOSE Holy [b][color=red]BLEEP[/color][/b], indeed. COLE What an amazing move by Alfdogg, completely flooring Hoff. COACH Yeah, Alfdogg may have banged himself up a little though! But this is still his best chance to put Hoff away and win that title shot! Slwoly, [i]slowly[/i], Alfdogg gets to his feet and pulls Hoff up by the hair. The fans slap Alf on the back as he rolls Hoff into the ring, then takes off his shirt and tosses it into the crowd! CABOOSE Some lucky fan getting a souvenir. COACH Lucky? That shirt is covered in sweat and nacho stains! COLE Alfdogg looking for it all once again!! Alf climbs onto the apron...then heads upstairs to another big pop!! Alf looks down, but Hoff makes it to his feet! In a daze, Hoff stumbles, then turns to face Alf! Alf leaps with a diving cross-body, but Hoff catches him and snaps him to the mat with a HUGE powerslam!! COLE WHAT A REVERSAL!! Hoff hooks Alf's leg, and Henber makes the count!! ONE!!! TWO!!! KICKOUT!! Alf kicks out at the last second!! Hoff looks up, closing his eyes in exhaustion. COLE SO close! And now Hoff has to wonder what HE has to do to put Alf away!! Hoff climbs to his feet, then grabs Alf by the hair! Pulling the former World Champ halfway up, Hoff screams "THIS IS IT!!" The fans pop as Hoff pulls Alf's head up and grabs him by the legs, lifting him for the SPINEBUSTER~.....but Alf elbows Hoff on the crown of his head!! Hoff drops Alf, doubling over, and Alf grabs the big man, hooking him for a PERFECT PLEX, but Hoff rolls him up with a SMALL PACKAGE!! ONE!! TWO!! NO!!!! Alf kicks out! Both men find their feet, and Alf throws a wild clothesline-- ducked by Hoff!! Alf's momentum carries him around, and Hoff grabs him from behind with a rear facelock!! The fans EXPLODE!!! COLE COULD IT BE?! Hoff, with another primal roar, lifts Alf up to the lights....holds him....HOLDS him......and DROPS him on his head with the FUTURE SHOCK!!!!!!!! COLE HE GOT IT!! HE GOT IT ALL!! Hoff swings his legs free and rolls onto Alfdogg, hooking his leg!! COLE COVER!! Hebner counts, and the fans count right along with!! ONE!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!! THREE!!!!!!!! *ding ding ding ding ding* "Black" hits as the fans EXPLODE, and Hoff rolls off of Alf and to his knees!! Hoff raises both fists in triumph as Buffer reads the decision!! BUFFER The winner of this contest, and STILL number-one contender......HOFF!!!!!!! Hoff gets to his feet, and Hebner raises his hand as the fans shower their hero in praise. COACH Score one more for the big man! CABOOSE Well, like it or not -- and I don't -- but Hoff busted his ass yet again to get the job done. Hoff looks down at Alfdogg, nodding with a smile, before climbing onto the ropes and throwing his fist into the air once more. COLE Well it has been a wild, wild night here tonight, capped off with a wild main event, and yet again we ask ourselves the question. Can anyone...ANYONE...stop Hoff? Folks, for Caboose and the Coach, I'm Michael Cole, and we'll see you next week, right here, on HeldDOWN!! The final scene closes on Hoff, the number one contender to the OAOAST World Title, lowering his arm and looking out across the fans, a smile on his face... [b]FADE TO BLACK[/b]

As it pertains to AngleSlam: How about the Rosemont Horizon in Chicago? EDIT: It's the "Allstate Arena" now, but it'll always be the Horizon to me.

I'm writing it AS WE SPEAK. I think it's worthy.

So I see. Well then. That sucks.

Wait, why did Leena get banned?

The WIDOW'S PEAK~! Get it? Huh? BTW whoever Grumco is, dude, thanks for the props, but not cool.

In addition to the title match, I'm running at AS, and I'd like to get the latter party squared up on the Upstarts side between now and then. I've got this week covered, but if anyone has any ideas or would like to use this angle to help "further the cause," let me know.

And it probably will. Hey, Tony, please put this before Stevens/Alf, because I have a feeling Chris will be in no condition to interfere after that one. COLE Folks, what a wild night it's already been, and we've got a whole lot more left for you, including what should be a wild match for the OAOAST World Title. But right now, we're all set for our #1 contender's match: Hoff taking on CSI's Brock Ausstin. COACH Aww, this should be a hot one, playas, between two guys who have never faced off. COLE We know the history between Hoff and Chris Stevens, but so far the big man has steered clear of his nemesis' faction. That all changes tonight. CABOOSE Yes, and furthermore, there's only been a handful of times that Hoff has faced someone more powerful than he is. I think this is one of those times. It should be interesting. The house lights go down and "Punishment" by BIOHAZARD kicks in. The boo-birds come out as Brock Ausstin steps onto the stage. COLE Good lord, what a physique on that man! CABOOSE Settle down, Cole. You're drooling. Brock does the HAPPY HAPPY HOSS DANCE~ on the stage, then heads down the ramp, cursing at the occassional fan as he does. COACH Brock does look good tonight, playas, and you know he's got to be in a good mood. Chris Stevens finally made good on his word. COLE Chris Stevens delivered in a big way, and we saw he and Brock make amends earlier. For the first time in a month, all seems to be well in the CSI camp. Brock hops onto the ring apron, and fireworks shoot off from the ring posts. Brock steps through the ropes and raises his arms, letting off a guttural scream. CABOOSE Indeed, and tonight, all of CSI have big opportunities. Chris Stevens gets a shot at the Heartland Title, and Jay Richards is in the Ultimate X match. COACH Well what about Jumbo? CABOOSE I'm sure he's the "Playstation Champion" or something. Brock's theme dies down, and the chants already fill the air. "HOFF! HOFF! HOFF! HOFF! HOFF! HOFF! HOFF! HOFF!" CUE: "Black" [b][color=silver]*BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM~!*[/color][/b] And the fans EXPLODE as Hoff steps onto the stage!! COLE THERE HE IS!! The number one contender!! Hoff looks around him before heading down the aisle, eyes locked on Brock Ausstin. Brock grins a big, goofy hoss grin as Hoff keeps his gaze focused, shouting up at Brock as he makes it to the ring. COLE Hoff looks ready for this contest. He looks pumped! Hoff steps into the ring and points at Brock, causing the monster to take a few steps toward Hoff. Referee Charles Robinson holds him off, and Hoff takes the opportunity to climb up the near corner and throw his fist into the air, soaking in the crowd's reaction. COACH These guys are rarin' to go, guys! I can't wait! Hoff climbs off of the ropes...and Brock BLOWS past Robinson and nails Hoff from behind!! COLE HEY! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Little Naitch calls for the bell as Brock starts pounding on Hoff's back with vicious forearm shots. *ding ding ding ding ding* COLE Come on! This isn't right! CABOOSE I like it. Brock hammers down on Hoff, drawing the ire of the Toronto crowd. COACH You'd think these Bizarro-land Canadians would hate Hoff. CABOOSE You'd think [i]everyone[/i] would. Hoff falls to his knees, and Brock grabs him from behind by the hair. Robinson warns him about the tactic, but Brock brushes past him, pulling Hoff to the center of the ring. Brock, still holding Hoff, rears back and throws a HUGE clothesline that sends the big man down! Hoff lands hard on his back, and Brock steps on his chest, raising his arms into the air. Robinson gets down to make the count, but Hoff rolls free before even the one. COLE Now come on. Brock had better take Hoff more seriously than that! CABOOSE Why? He's in control. He can do whatever he wants! Brock picks Hoff up and whips him into the ropes. Hoff comes off and ducks a clothesline, then hits the strands and comes off the far side! Brock turns around, and catches Hoff with a SIDEWALK SLAM! The fans "oooh" as Hoff hits hard, and Brock leans into a lacquidasical cover...and Hoff kicks out at two. COACH Gotta admit, Brock has taken the advantage he gained in the beginning of this match and ran with it! Brock gets up and pulls Hoff up with him. The man-ster grabs Hoff by the head and neck and throws him into a neutral corner. Hoff's back hits the buckles, and he collapses in, allowing Brock to back up before lowering his shoulder and charging in, SPEARING Hoff in the corner! The fans boo as Brock backs up, thrusting his shoulder again and again into the ribs of the Future. COACH Heh heh, thrusting. Ausstin grabs Hoff's arm and whips him out....but holds on, spinning Hoff and throwing him HARD back into the buckle! Hoff lets out a painful-sounding groan as he hits, and with a smirk Brock whips him cross-corner. Hoff collapses in the far corner, and Brock charges in head-first...but Hoff gets a boot up!! COLE There we go! The fans come alive as Brock stumbles backwards, holding the top of his head. Hoff steps out of the corner, but Brock turns around and grabs Hoff, driving him back into the buckles! Brock again lowers his shoulder, and rams it into the ribs of Hoff! CABOOSE Good ring presence there by Brock to catch Hoff before he could get any momentum started. Brock pulls Hoff out of the corner by the hair, dragging him to the center of the ring before throwing his arm over Hoff's head. Brock hooks Hoff up and hoists him, dropping him with a vertical suplex. The impact shakes the ring, and Brock crawls over into a cover. ONE, TWO, but Hoff kicks out in time. Brock remains unfazed, again pulling Hoff to his feet. Brock grabs Hoff and presses him high overhead, setting flashbulbs off across the crowd! COLE What power from Brock Ausstin! Brock turns around for the crowd, taking in their reaction before pushing Hoff up and letting him fall face-first to the canvas! Brock turns around, rolling Hoff onto his back before making the cover! ONE! TWO! THR--NO!! Hoff kicks out!! COACH Well playas, as dominant as Brock has been, he can't seem to put Hoff away! COLE Yeah, but Hoff is only human. He can only take so much. He NEEDS to swing the momentum, somehow. Brock looks up at Robinson, pissed, but the ref holds up two fingers. Brock turns back to Hoff, pulling him up by the hair, but Hoff fires a forearm! Brock is stunned, allowing Hoff to throw another shot, but this time Brock DRILLS him with a knee to the gut, stopping Hoff's momentum cold! Brock takes the opportunity to whip Hoff into the ropes, but the big man reverses and sends Ausstin in! COLE Is this the opening Hoff needed? Brock comes off the ropes, and Hoff throws a clothesline, but Brock ducks it! Brock keeps running-- right into a back elbow! The fans cheer as Hoff grabs a dazed Brock by the arm and whips him, but Brock reverses and sends Hoff into the ropes! Hoff comes off...and NAILS Brock with a diving clothesline!! "YEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Brock drops to the canvas, and Hoff rolls up to his feet, ROARING as he begs Brock on! Hoff waves his foe up, and Brock finds his feet. He turns...into a HUGE right hand from Hoff! Another big right hand! Another! ANOTHER! [b]ANOTHER!![/b] COLE Hoff has just caught fire! Brock stumbles back into the ropes, and Hoff rears back, pointing at Brock before delivering one last HUGE right hand to the temple, knocking Brock backwards and over the top rope!! Brock lands hard on the protective mats outside and climbs to his hands and knees, shaking the cobwebs free! "HOFF! HOFF! HOFF! HOFF! HOFF! HOFF! HOFF! HOFF!" Brock gets to his feet, and looks up...just in time to see Hoff FLYING over the top rope! The fans cheer-- but the cheers are silenced as Brock catches Hoff!! COACH DAYUM~! Brock lets out a war cry as he charges with Hoff in his arms, ramming Hoff's back into the steel ring post!! Brock lets Hoff drop, and the big man falls to the floor! COLE Well what a great opening for Brock, and you've got to be impressed by his power! CABOOSE Absolutely. So far, besides one flurry of offense, this match has been all Brock Ausstin. Brock picks Hoff up by the hair and RAMS his head into the ring apron! Hoff bounces backwards, leaning on the guardrail. The fans reach out and touch their hero as Robinson slides out of the ring and gives Brock a verbal warning. CABOOSE Aw, come on, Charles! It's all legal on the outside! Robinson points to the ring, and Brock begs off, relenting. The man-ster grabs Hoff and rolls him into the ring, sliding in behind him and laying into a lateral press. Robinson makes the count, but again, Hoff is out at two. COLE Well Brock is in control, he has Hoff hurt. All he really has to do is put him away. COACH I think he wants to do just that! A cry goes up from the audience as Brock signals for the end! The CSI heavy hitter pulls Hoff up by the hair, then lifts him onto his back with a fireman's carry!! The fans hit their feet! COLE The F-Stunner-5! This one will be over! CABOOSE We'll have a new #1 contender! Thank the Lord!! Brock yells as he lifts Hoff up, SPINS him...but Hoff lands on his feet!! Brock throws a wild clothesline, but Hoff ducks and Brock's momentum carries him around! Hoff grabs him by the waist, and hits a GERMAN SUPLEX! The bridge!! ONE! TWO! NO!!!! Brock bridges out of the pinning predicament! Hoff lets go and the two men roll to their feet! Brock is up first and charges, but Hoff grabs him by the waist and hits an overhead BELLY-TO-BELLY!! Brock goes flying across the ring! The fans are going BANANA as Hoff gets to his feet, begging Brock on!! COLE Look at Hoff go! Brock uses the corner ropes to pull himself up, and throws a WILD haymaker, ducked by Hoff, who then SLAPS the taste out of Brock's mouth! The fans go wild as Hoff grabs Brock by the shoulders and shoves him into the buckle, and then fires off a right hand! Another! Another! Brock reels, and Hoff whips him across the ring! Brock hits chest-first, and stumbles back a step...only to be flattened with a STINGER SPLASH!! Brock crumples into the corner, and Hoff spins him around so he faces the ring. COACH The big man is unstoppable! COLE I think it's fair to say the momentum has swung! CABOOSE @#$% Hoff lifts Brock onto the top turnbuckle pad, then climbs up onto the bottom rope! Hoff lifts Brock, all the way onto the top rope, then scales up after him! Hoff climbs to the second...no, to the TOP rope, and hooks Brock up! Hoff rears back...and hits the SUPERPLEX!! COLE Good lord! Superplex off the top rope! This one is finished! Hoff rolls over and lays into a cover! Robinson with the count! ONE!! TWO!! NO!!!!! Brock kicks out!! COLE Wow, I can't believe Brock kicked out of that! CABOOSE Oh yeah, you know it, Michael. Brock is on his way to the main event at Angleslam. Hoff gets up slowly, looking across the screaming crowd. Hoff nods, feeling the momentum as he picks Brock up, but Brock snatches Hoff around the waist and HURLS him overhead with a belly-to-belly throw!! COACH WHOA~! Where did that come from?! The fans jeer as Brock gets to his feet, shaking his head in an attempt to clear his mind. Brock spies Hoff and stalks over to him, pulling him up by the hair. Brock whips Hoff into the ropes, and catches him coming off with a BEARHUG!! COLE Oh, no! Brock Ausstin's debilitating bearhug! Everyone knows, when a hoss locks this on you, it's certain doom! CABOOSE (nodding) Rule of wrestling #14. Brock shakes Hoff like a rag doll, trying to squeeze the life out of him, but Hoff grabs Brock's arms with his hands! COLE What the...is he...is he trying to pry Brock Ausstin's arms apart?!? CABOOSE What?! No @#$% way. No way he can...can he? Brock's eyes go wide as Hoff STRAINS, his muscles going tense as he tries to pull Brock's arms apart!! Brock shakes Hoff....but Hoff stays on him, pulling...and pulling....and pulling....and HOFF GETS THE ARMS APART! The crowd EXPLODES!! COLE OH MY GOD! CABOOSE No way that just happened. COACH I know I've already said it once this match...but DAYUM~! Brock looks positively shocked, allowing Hoff to kick him in the midsection! Brock doubles over, and Hoff scores with a DDT! Hoff goes for the cover! ONE! TWO! NO!!!! Brock barely gets a shoulder up! Hoff rolls to his feet...and the fans BOO?! COLE WAIT A MINUTE! Here comes Stevens!! Indeed, Chris Stevens comes jogging down the aisle. Stevens slows as he gets to the ring calling up to Hoff. Hoff turns...and immediately makes a break for his arch-rival!! Hoff tries to dive through the ropes, but Robinson grabs him by the midsection and holds him back!! COACH Wow, not bad power from the ref there, either. Stevens saunters closer to the ring as Hoff stands upright, screaming down at Stevens from the ring. Robinson tries to push Hoff away from the ropes, then orders Stevens to the back. Meanwhile, Stevens starts jawing back at Hoff, hurling obscenities and threats. COLE Oh man, this is volatile, someone needs to get Chris Stevens out of here! Stevens takes another step toward the ring...but here comes Carl Winslow and OAOAST security! Carl grabs Stevens' arm, pulling him back, and the rest of the force steps in front of him. Stevens gets taken to the back, jawing all the while with the big man. COLE Chris Stevens is a menace. He's a disgrace to this company. CABOOSE You take that back. COLE In any event....hey, WAIT!! Hoff turns back to the ring...and Brock lifts him onto his shoulders! With a roar, Brock lifts Hoff, spins him, and DROPS him with the F-Stunner-5!! COLE THE F-STUNNER-5!! BROCK JUST NAILED HOFF WITH HIS FINISHER!! CABOOSE YES!!! COVER HIM, BROCK!! Brock rolls Hoff over and hooks the leg! Robinson counts! ONE!!!! TWO!! THREE [b]NO!!!!!!!!!!![/b] Hoff gets a shoulder up!! COLE SOMEHOW, Hoff kicked out! I have no idea how! COACH Oh man, what is Brock gonna do now!! Brock gets up, shocked. He looks down at Hoff, anger in his eyes. Brock STOMPS at Hoff, kicking him in the ribs, before picking him up yet again! Brock hoists Hoff onto his shoulders! COLE A second F-Stunner-5, and I don't think ANYONE has ever kicked out of two. Brock lifts Hoff, spins him....but Hoff shifts his weight and turns the move into a DDT!!! The crowd goes CRAZY as Brock's skull bounces off the mat, and both men come to rest on the canvas!! COLE WHAT A COUNTER!! Both men lie breathing on the mat, exhausted. COLE But what could happen now?! What else could....oh no. CABOOSE HEY! All right! COLE Look who's back. The crowd roars in disdain as Chris Stevens AGAIN runs down the ramp. COACH We need better security. After Chris comes Jumbo, who is wearing Carl Winslow's hat. COLE What?! Aw, come on! That's not right! CABOOSE Maybe Jumbo ate Carl. You couldn't tell. Hell, maybe Carl ate Jumbo! COLE That makes NO sense. In any event, it seems that Chris Stevens and Jumbo have taken out our security guards! Stevens slides into the ring, waiting for Hoff to find his feet. Both Hoff and Ausstin start to stir, but Hoff is up first. COLE Look out, Hoff! Hoff gets up, and turns...right into a SUPER--NO! Hoff ducks......and the kick hits BROCK AUSSTIN!!!! COLE OH MY GOD!! Stevens has just laid out Brock Ausstin!! For the second time in as many months, Chris Stevens has taken out his own man! CABOOSE Yeah, but I don't think he meant to this time-- OH NO!! Stevens, shocked, turns to leave....and eats a SPINEBUSTER~!! Hoff drives him down, and the CSI leader rolls out of the ring and into the arms of Jumbo, who helps him to the back. Meanwhile, Brock is OUT. Hoff reaches down, picks him up, and hooks him....in a reverse fireman's carry? COLE What the... COACH This isn't how the F-5 works...fellas.... Hoff walks to the center of the ring with Brock on his back.....and DRILLS him with the AXEL SLAM!!!!!!!! TRIPLE C :o COLE Hoff just hit the AXEL SLAM on Brock Ausstin!! COACH Talk about sending a message! D-D-D-DAYUM~! Hoff gets to his feet...and SLASHES HIS ARMS!! COLE OH YEAH!! He's not done yet!! CABOOSE This makes me sick! The fans get to THEIR feet as Hoff pulls Brock off the mat! Hoff hooks Brock from behind, lifts him up....holds him..................and DROPS him with the FUTURE SHOCK!!!! COLE FUTURE SHOCK!! THAT'S IT! IT'S ALL OVER!! Hoff gets to his feet, puts a boot on the chest of Brock Ausstin, and raises one fist into the air. ONE!! TWO!! THREE!!!!!!!! *ding ding ding ding ding* BUFFER The winner of this bout, and STILL number-one-contender.....HOFF!!!!!!!!!! "Black" hits as Robinson raises Hoff's hand. Hoff looks down at a motionless Brock Ausstin, mouthing the words "now you know" before climbing up the corner ropes and flexing his muscles for the crowd. COACH You could count to 100 and I don't think Brock would get up. COLE In any event, Hoff is STILL the #1 contender, and he'll face the World Champion, WHOMEVER it may be, at Angleslam! CABOOSE Provided he can get past Alfdogg on Thursday. COLE We now know it will be Hoff against Alfdogg for that shot this week on HeldDown! But what will Brock's reaction be to what happened here tonight? What will he say to Chris Stevens? Hoff hops out of the ring, walking backwards up the aisle as he looks at the ring with a smile. COLE And can anyone stop that man on his way to regaining the World Title?

Hey kids. Sorry everyone, especially to Alf who I know I left hanging, and thanks to PK for the recap. And if you STILL haven't read Hoff vs. Some Guy, you're missing out. Gotta get my plugs in. Long story short, my roommate fucked up and I lost internet Wed. instead of Thursday as I thought. I'll be back on Tuesday, but I'm at a friend's now writing Brock/Hoff (don't expect much). I'll try to leave more detailed feedback then (and I got a few things to say, kids, mostly good), but right now I'm gonna jet b/c I have to leave in an hour and a half (as I said...don't expect much). So go check out Hoff/SG one more time and I'll see you all on Tuesday evening.

Wait, what's all this about teaming to take on PK and Stevens?!? 'Cause that ain't happening.