Hoff

I believe Patty is on leave for at least the short-term.

d00d Bono iz teh great3st ROCK singer EVA4~! I luv his cool voculs and his stylie is amazingOMG!!! I...don't like U2.

You shall have it, good sir.

Something fun. Who the hell is posting this week?

*"The Wall hits as the lights go out and Alfdogg makes his way down to the ring.* BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall, with no disqualifications and no countouts! Introducing first, making his way down the aisle, from Anderson, Indiana, weighing in at 240 pounds...a former OAOAST Heavyweight Champion of the Woooorrrrrrrrrrllllllllllllld...the one, the only...ALFFFFFFFFDOOOOOOOOOOOGG! *crowd boos, with scattered cheers* COACH I see a lot of Alfdogg Original jerseys out in the crowd tonight, Cole! You knew those would become a hot seller! COLE Alf certainly has his following, no doubt about it. Not a lot of support here from the crowd in Phoenix for Alf, though, in what will be his first match on HeldDOWN, on free TV, in over two years! *Alf poses in the corner, then paces around in the ring as the lights return and then disappear once again. "Oh Hell Yeah" by H-Blocx hits as blue strobes hit the arena, and Peter Knight emerges from the curtains.* COLE And here comes his opponent, the man who made Brock Ausstin submit this past Sunday at Living Angleously! BUFFER His opponent, hailing from Fall River, Massachusetts, weighing in at 260 pounds...one half of the Dream Machines...PEEEEEETERRRRRRRRRRRR KNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHHHHHHHHT! *crowd cheers for Knight* *Replay of Living Angleously, with PK making Ausstin submit* COLE Yes indeed, at Living Angleously this past Sunday, Knight hooks what he calls the "Ace in the Hole", and Brock Ausstin put up a valiant effort, but was forced to submit at the hands of Peter Knight! *As the replay cuts out, Alf is shown giving a golf clap for Peter Knight in the ring.* COACH See that? That even impressed Alf, who isn't easily impressed, I'm sure! COLE Yeah, I'm sure that was a sincere round of applause form Alf, Coach, give me a break! COACH Well, sarcastic or not, let's face it, Brock Ausstin is impressive, but he's no Alfdogg! Peter Knight's in for a real test tonight, no-DQ, no-countout, this match is right up Alf's alley! *The lights return to the arena and the bell sounds to get the match underway.* *DING DING DING* Alf tries a Pearl Harbor job, but Knight sees it coming, and dodges, then hammers away on Alf in the corner with a flurry of lefts and rights! He whips Alf into the corner, and catches him with a big backdrop! Clothesline! Another! A dropkick sends Alf through the ropes and to the floor! COLE And listen to the red-hot Phoenix crowd, solidly behind Peter Knight! I think maybe Alf is getting a little more than he bargained for, what do you say, Coach? COACH It's still way early, Michael, this is nothing Alf hasn't seen before! Once he gets his senses together, he'll be just fi...OH! Knight comes off the top with a bodypress to the outside, and hammers at Alf on the floor! Knight picks up Alf, and whips him into the STEEL POST~, then sends him back into the ring, where Alf begs off. Alf suckers PK in, then uses his tights to pull him through the ropes to the floor! Alf takes a few seconds to catch his breath, but PK is quickly back in the ring with CHOPS, WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO! PK Irish whip, reversed by Alf, drop down, leapfrog, monkey flip attempt...but PK stops and drops a fist on Alf! PK goes to the ropes again, but Alf catches him with a AA SPINEBUSTER~! COLE OH, and Knight stopped dead in his tracks with that spinebuster, right out of the pages of the Arn Anderson playbook...first pin attempt of the match, 1, 2, and Knight able to kick out! Alf stays on the offense, with a T-Bone suplex and a standing moonsault, 1... 2... PK gets out again! Alf follows with a Fisherman's suplex... 1.. 2.. NO! Again PK escapes! COACH Alf's throwing everything he's got at Knight, but he keeps escaping! Where's he gettin' it? Alf picks PK up off the mat, and delivers a right hand...NO! Blocked and returned by PK! Another one, blocked again! PK continues the assault, then backs him into a corner. Irish whip, reversed by Alf...PK springs off the second rope with a bodypress! 1.. 2.. NO! Alf manages to kick out! COLE OH MAN, Peter Knight INCHES away from scoring the victory that time! Alf quickly pops up with a Hart Attack clothesline! Alf stays in the sitting position and gives a smirk to the crowd. COACH But just like that, Cole, Alf back in control, and look how pleased he is with himself! Alf picks up PK and shoots him off into the ropes, but PK reverses, then makes the Cardinal Mistake of putting his head down...Alf delivers a boot to the face, then a superkick! Alf grabs the legs and rolls over... 1.. 2.. NO, PK AGAIN escapes! PK is still out of it, however, and Alf climbs to the top. PK makes it to his feet...and is met with a BIG flying clothesline! Alf rolls to his feet, and points in the direction of Coach at the announce booth. COACH It's for me?? Aww, what a standup guy, Cole, he dedicated that move to me! Alf does the COCKY PIN~! but PK easily kicks out. Alf whips PK into the corner, and walks towards him, but get caught with a foot to the gut! Alf and PK trade blows in the corner, but Alf goes to the eyes! Alf then pauses to flip the bird to a few ringside fans. COLE Totally disrepectful and uncalled for by Alf! COACH What? The guy asked him where the Suns were seeded in the playoffs, so he told him! COLE Please! Alf delivers a few stiff kicks to the midsection, then goes to the opposite corner...HANDSPRING ELBOW~!...but PK moves, and goes to the top...BULLDOG FROM THE TOP ROPE! COLE OH! HE GOT ALL OF IT! HERE'S THE COVER! 1............. 2...................... 3!!!!!! NO! Alf BARELY, just BARELY, able to kick out! I thought PK had him! But that move was definitely a momentum shifter for Peter Knight! PK whips Alf into the ropes, then bounces off the opposite side...SPINNING HEEL KICK!!! 1......... 2......... NO! Another kickout by Alf! PK follows up with a snap suplex! PK goes to the top rope...LEGDROP FROM THE TOP! 1................... 2..................................... THRRRRNNNO! Alf again, BARELY escapes! COLE: Earlier on it was Knight, now it's Alf using the fight, the will to win, to kick out of some big-time moves! PK picks up Alf and delivers an overhead belly-to-belly, followed with a facecrusher suplex! 1................ 2.............................. 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO!!! Alf AGAIN kicks out! PK with the KNIGHT ROLL~! He then gives a sign to the crowd, causing them to erupt! COLE THERE IT IS! The sign for The Knightmare! COACH Oh, no! GET UP, ALF! COLE If he hits this now, it HAS to be over for Alfdogg! Alf's return to HeldDOWN could end up with him on the losing end right here tonight! PK picks Alf up on his shoulders, spins him around...but Alf is able to land on his feet, and deliver a LOW BLOW to PK! COLE OH, and a low blow from Alf to PK! COACH No DQ, remember that, Cole! COLE I understand that, totally legal in this match! PK is doubled over in pain, leaning against the ropes, Alf charges him...and gets BACKDROPPED, all the way to the CONCRETE floor! COLE OH MY GOD! Alf took a hell of a fall right there, and he is in big trouble in this match! COACH I've got to give mad props to PK...Alf studies all these guys, and he was expecting PK to come in and try to throw him around the ring and use some submission holds on him. But PK has surprised Alf by coming out with an aerial assault tonight, we're not accustomed to seeing that from PK, and as a result Alf is in BIG TIME danger of losing this one. PK ascends to the top once again, and tries another bodypress...but this time Alf catches him with the momentum and sends him into the guardrail on his left arm and shoulder! COLE OH NO, a big-time risk by Knight that did NOT pay off, and he's WRITHING in pain on the floor! COACH See, what did I tell you, Cole? PK came out here, trying to be fancy, trying to show us stuff we've never seen before, and look what happens! I can't believe how stupid he is! He should have just stuck to his game plan, came with the suplexes and submissions, and he wouldn't be in this position right now! Alf immediately senses the injury, and delivers kicks to the arm of PK. He picks PK up, and rams him shoulder-first into the post! Alf then pulls out the STEEL stairs, and lays PK's arm across the post...then SHOVES THE STAIRS INTO IT!!! COLE And NOW you see Alf taking advantage of the No-DQ stipulation! COACH Why wouldn't he, Cole? Alf was in trouble in the ring, I have to admit PK gave him a little more than was bargained for, so now he's taking it to the outside and taking full advantage of this stipulation! And this is where Alf is at his best! COLE Oh, Alf shoves the timekeeper aside...he's got a STEEL CHAIR...OH! RIGHT into the shoulder joint of Peter Knight! And AGAIN! Alf RELENTLESS working on the injury of Peter Knight! Alf throws PK back into the ring, and sets him up for a powerbomb. He picks him up and sets his head on the turnbuckle, then puts the injured left arm underneath his back, brings him out...and delivers a SITOUT POWERBOMB, driving him on top of his injured arm! COLE WHAT A MOVE there by Alfdogg! COACH A GREAT move...a lot of times you'll see guys use armbar bodyslams, Alf took it one step further with an armbar POWERBOMB, a move *I* personally have never seen up until now! But hey, leave it to Alf to be the innovator of offense and deliver new moves to the OAOAST! COLE Alf into the cover... 1.. 2..... PK able to kick out, and you'll see Alf leaning all his weight on that injured left arm of Peter Knight! Alf whips PK into the corner, and charges, but is met with a big foot to the face! PK out with a clothesline! PK allows Alf to get to his feet, and sets him up for a DDT...but Alf spins out to the other side, and delivers a single arm DDT! COLE Just like that, Alf thwarts the comeback of Knight...Here's the cover! 1.... 2........ And PK STILL has that fight left in him, able to kick out at two! Alf still on the offensive...BELLY TO BELLY, and all that weight driven into the arm, the INJURED LEFT ARM, of Peter Knight. Alf drags PK into the corner, with the injured arm hanging outside the ring next to the post. Alf grabs the chair once again, and drives it THREE TIMES into the injured arm! He then holds the arm out...and twirls his finger in the air??? COLE Oh, what could he be thinking now? COACH Oh, you don't think... Alf sets a leg on the apron...then drops backwards to the floor, hooking his legs around PK's arm and the post in a RINGPOST CROSS ARMBREAKER~! COACH ANOTHER move I've never seen, Cole! It appears to be a cross armbar assisted by the ringpost! Now what's the ref doing here? COLE The match is no-DQ, we understand that, but we don't want someone to take it too far, and that's what the referee was thinking there, as well. PK is writhing in pain in the corner, as Alf springs back in with a guillotine legdrop! 1........... 2.................... PK kicks out AGAIN! Alf gives a sign to the crowd, with a smirk on his face! COLE OH, you've got to be kidding me! COACH No, he's not kidding you, Cole! Alf is set to finish this punk with his own finishing maneuver, the Knightmare! Alf picks PK up on his shoulders...put PK slips off, and shoves Alf into the corner! Alf goes down, but gets up in time to dodge a corner charge, then tries one of his own...but gets sent SHOULDER FIRST INTO THE STEEL POST!!! COACH NO!!!!! COLE And now it's ALF sent with HIS arm into the steel! Alf staggers out of the corner...and PK hits him out of nowhere with THE KNIGHTMARE!!!! COLE THERE IT IS!!!! THE KNIGHTMARE!!!!! THE KNIGHTMARE!!!!! THE KNIGHTMARE!!!!! COACH He didn't get all of it though, Cole, you can tell, you can still see him favoring that left arm that's been worked on so intently by Alf! PK drags himself over to Alf with his one good arm..... COLE COME ON PK! YOU'RE ALMOST THERE!!!! PK finally makes it to Alf, and drapes his arm over the seemingly lifeless Alf!!!! 1.............................. 2................................................... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO! The referee notices Alf's foot on the bottom rope JUST before the third slap of the mat, and says the match must continue! Alf grabs a quick small package! 1.................... 2.................................... REVERSED BY PK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1...................................................................... 2............................................................................... ........... NO!!! Alf escapes...and hits another low blow!!! Alf to the top...SUNSET FLIP!!!...but PK rolls through, and APPLIES THE SUBMISSION!!! COLE HERE IT COMES! THE ACE IN THE HOLE!!!!! The move that forced Brock Ausstin into submission at Living Angleously! PK hooks the legs, but when he tries for the full nelson, collapses to the mat in pain! COACH NO! He can't complete the hold due to the injury! Alf gets to his feet, and rotates his posted arm a few times. He then sets PK up on the ropes, gets a running start, and jumps over the top rope to the floor, grabbing PK's arm on the way down! COLE And RIGHT BACK to the arm for Alf! The force sends PK to the middle of the ring... Alf scales the top from the outside! COACH Uh oh, this is it, Cole...PK put up one hell of a fight, but it all ends here! Alf comes off the top... FIVE-STAR ALF SPLASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE FIVE-STAR ALF SPLASH!!!!!!!!!!!!! makes its return to HeldDOWN, and he got all of it! Alf sits up, then rolls backwards on top of PK......... 1................................... 2......................................................... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* *"The Wall" plays throughout the arena.* COLE WHAT A GREAT MATCH! Incredible, gutsy effort from PK, but Alfdogg, in his return to TV, was just the better man on this night! BUFFER The winner of this bout...ALLLLLLLLLFFFFDOOOOOOOOGG! *The referee raises Alf's hand, and Alf shoves PK's injured arm with his foot before leaving the ring and heading to the dressing room.* COLE What a match! What a night! Two legends return to success! Two matches made for School's Out! We'll see you next week! Good night!

HeldDOWN is presented by OAOAST Entertainment. *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* OAOAST HeldDOWN~! The strains of Ashlee Simpson's LaLa play over the TV sets of America as we see the opening montage. Unlike SOME wrestling shows, not even a presidential address can stop us! Here it comes, from the netherregions of space...the LOGO~! And we cut LIVE to the arena, in gorgeous Phoenix, where fireworks delight the crowd! Our crack camera crew sweeps the audience, showing the Arizonites going crazy for their favorite fake fighters! Also crazy is Triple C! CABOOSE This show saps my sanity. COLE AND COACH WELCOME TO HELDDOWN!!! CABOOSE *groan* COLE Folks, we are four days removed from Living Anglelously, and if you missed it you missed one hell of a show! COACH Holla, playa! Coach in the house! COLE Coach, that doesn't tell us anything about the show! COACH Word. CABOOSE Someone kill me. A red dot appears on Caboose's shirt, but the cameras cut to the audience, where Carl Winslow and some arena guards tackle a man with a sniper rifle. COLE Huh...how about that. Anyway, last Sunday, we saw Axel retain his title over Tony Brannigan! We saw Crystal win the #1 contendership to that crown! We saw a new X Champion crowned in The 70's Dude, and new tag teams champs in the New New Midnight Express! Plus a whole lot more, and we have a lot on tap tonight! COACH Mikey, we got so much show tonight, it makes ME wanna La La! We've got TWO returning legends tonight! The Superstar, James Allen, is here, and Alfdogg makes his return! Sunday at Living Angleously, Alfdogg layed out a no-DQ open challenge, tonight Peter Knight will step up to the plate, in what will be Alf's first match on HeldDOWN in over two years! It's Alfdogg vs Peter Knight, No-DQ, tonight on HeldDOWN~! CABOOSE I need a new job. COACH You could be a chef! CABOOSE Chef? COACH Yeah! Why don't you start by tossing some salad! BOO-YEAH~! CABOOSE Whichever God I offended, I'm sorry. Coach starts to make another jest, but is cut off by the familiar strains of Limp Bizkit.. I'LL EAT YOU ALIVE!! BOOM~! The fans EXPLODE as the OAOAST World Champion, AXEL, makes his way onto the stage! The fans go crazy for the champ, who cuts an imposing figure in his long, dark trenchcoat. Axel stops halfway down, points left, points right... BOOOOOOOOOOOOM~! And flashes the cruifix pose to a MASSIVE pop! Axel smiles and heads into the ring, posing on the second rope with the OAOAST Title shining on his waist. COLE Axel successful last Sunday in his title defense against Tony "The Body!" CABOOSE Tony, like him or hate him, is a hell of a wrestler, and Axel showed one hell of a lot to me and to everyone by beating him. Still a punk, though. Axel hops off the ropes and asks for a mic. "AX-EL! AX-EL! AX-EL!" AXEL To everyone who thought I wouldn't make it this far...here I am. The fans go BANANA for the enigmatic Dark One! Axel continues... AXEL And I proved to the world that Axel is for real, and here to stay. And I-- CUE: "Plug in Baby" "BOOOOOOOOOOO" COLE What the hell is this? Axel rolls his eyes as Crystal appears on the AngleTron! CRYSTAL Axel, sweetheart.... The fans groan the jibe. Axel snarls. CRYSTAL Tonight isn't all about you, darling. It's all about me. The crown jewel. "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" CRYSTAL Last night I showed the world who the TRUE future is. And-- "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Crystal laughs. CRYSTAL Oh yes, I did indeed. And now I'm coming for you, one more time, to put the title on a more deserving waist. And Axel, I'm coming sooner than you think. The fans boo, Axel just shrugs. COLE Coming for...HEY WAIT!! From out of NOWHERE, Crystal slides into the ring with a steel chair! Axel turns around, and gets BLINDSIDED! Axel hits the mat, the fans jeer, and Crystal POUNCES on her ex, laying into him with some sharp fists and-- "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAHHH!!!" And the fans cheer as HOFF sprints down the aisle! Crystal looks up and, wanting no part of the big man, slides out under the bottom rope. Hoff slides IN the ring and eyes Crystal as the Female Phenom walks backwards up the ramp, grinning. COLE Thank God for Hoff! CABOOSE Yes, thank the stars. Hoff looks down at Axel, checking that he's okay. Axel slowly gets to his feet, and Hoff turns his attention back to Crystal, who disappears up the ramp. COACH DAYUM~! COLE What a way to start things off! And we've got a lot MORE action ahead! Stay tuned!

We cut to the ring, where the Frankensteiners and the Heavenly Rockers are already in. No Holly-Wood. Michael Buffer stands in the center, with referee Mark "Slick" Johnson by his side. * DING DING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is set for one fall, with a 15 minute time-limit. Already in the ring, from Oklahoma, weighing 550 pounds, the Frankensteiners! COLE A mixed reaction from the brothers from Oklahoma. One of the most feared tag teams in HI-YAH. Executive Vice President "Cowboy" Bill Watts will be heading to Japan in the next few days to talk with another exciting young tag team, the Lonestar Gunslingers. Those two Texans have made a name for themselves in the 3 months they've been in HI-YAH. We hope to have them here soon. BUFFER And their opponents. From Sin City, weighing 448 pounds, THE HEAVENLY RRRRROCKERRRRRS! COLE As you can see, no Holly-Wood tonight. She's at the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame donating the OAOAST Women's Championship to that wonderful museum. CABOOSE How could she do that? That's OAOAST property. COACH The OAOAST couldn't find any women who actually wanted to wrestle Holly, so they decided to discontinue that title. It says a lot about Holly, though. She really never wanted to become a wrestler but once she did, she kicked some serious ass. Frank and Logan exit the ring, leaving Frankie and Synth as the two men who'll start things off for their teams. Frankie approaches Synth in an amateur wrestling stance. Collar-and-elbow tieup. Synth quickly grabs a side headlock and grinds the head. Frankie backs Synth against the ropes and fires him across the ring, ducking down as the Synthmeister comes off the rebound. SUNSET FLIP! Referee Mark "Slick" Johnson goes down to cover. ONE... TWO... NO! Synth rolls Frankie through and kips up, catching the hard-to-believe older Frankensteiner with a RUNNING CLOTHESLINE followed by a rapid succession of elbow drops to the sternum. Synth scoopes Frankie up and slams him near the corner. He pulls himself onto the second turnbuckle, but before he can do any damage from the top, Frank slows him down by swinging for his legs while Slick Johnson tries to restrain him on the apron. As Synth repositions himself on the turnbuckle, he looks up and is greeted by a right hand to the midsection by Frankie. The fans groan as Synth falls down BUTT-first on the top turnbuckle. He closes his eyes and holds his groin, discomfort on his face. With his tongue hanging out and a playful smile on his face, Frankie throws Synth's feet over the top and climbs up to the second turnbuckle, bearhugging Synth and tossing him back onto the canvas with a BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX OFF THE SECOND ROPE! A thunderous echo ringing throughout the arena as both men's bodies crash down. Cover made. ONE... TWO... THRE-- NO! A big cheer from the Heavenly Rockers faithful as Synth got the shoulder up. Frankie brings Synth back to a vertical base and lands a few punches in before shooting him to the ropes. Blind tag is made as Synth ducks a clothesline and hits the other side of the ropes. Not knowing a tag has been made, Frankie turns his body back around and is caught by surprise as LOGAN "USHER" MANN SPRINGBOARDS TO THE TOP ROPE AND HITS HIM WITH A MISSLE DROPKICK! Synth and Logan help a wobbly Frankie back to his feet and whip him to the ropes. DOUBLE HIP TOSS. The Heavenly Rockers with some more great double-team work as they kip up at the same time and simultaneously nail a LEGDROP/SOMERSAULT BACK SPLASH combo on Frankie. The cover. ONE... TWO... FRANK PULLS LOGAN OFF AND DECKS HIM WITH A RIGHT HAND. Scattered boos. Mann shakes off the cobwebs and rises back to his feet. Irish wh-- No, Irish whip reversed. Logan ducks a clothesline and comes off the other side of the ropes with a cross bodyblock aimed below the waist, wrapping his arm around Frankie's leg and rolling him up in a SCHOOL BOY! ONE... TWO... TH-- NO! Frankie got the shoulder up. Both men rush to be the first to get back on their feet. It's Frankie. STEINERLINE sends Logan inside-out! Frankie drops down and barks at Mann, with much more bite than two weeks ago, then crawls over to his corner and tags in his brother. Frank comes in and scoopes Logan up for a FALLAWAY SLAM, but instead FLIPS COMPLETLEY BACKWARDS AND PLANTS LOGAN INTO THE MAT! COACH DAYUM~! The fans jump out of their seats and chant... "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" COLE My God! How do I call that? I haven't seen anything like it. VINCE McMAHON WHATAMANEUVER! CABOOSE I guess you'd call that a Shooting Star Fallaway slam. Either way, very impressive coming from somebody of Frank's size. Frank grunts and pumps both fists before making the cover. Could be a mistake to wait so long. ONE... TWO... SYNTH PULLS FRANK OFF. Returning the favor from earlier. Frank shoots him the bird. Synth scoffs and gestures Frank has small balls. Referee Slick Johnson having no problems getting Synth out of the ring. He came in to save his partner and went back out. A bit jelly-legged, Logan walks over to his corner and tags Synth. The Heavenly Rockers with a little double-team work here. Frank Irish whipped. DOUBLE BACKFLIPS INTO A DOUBLE-TEAM DROPKICK IN MID-AIR! That gets the fans back out of their seats to start another "HOLY SHIT" chant. Triple C can only laugh at this tremendous display of athleticism. Synth lifts Frankie up and bodyslams him. For the second time tonight he's going to attempt a FLYING ELBOW FROM THE SECOND ROPE. This time he connects. The cover. ONE... TWO... THR-- KICKOUT! Front facelock applied. Synth takes Frank back to his corn-- no, Frank drives Synth into a netural corner and repeatedly rams his shoulder into the midsection. Frank fires away with big right hands. Frank whips Synth to the opposite corner across the ring and charges, running sternum-first into the top turnbuckle after Synth moves out of the way of a running clothesline. Frank ricochets back and into the clutches of Synth, who double underhooks the ar-- go-behind waistlock into a RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX BY FRANK! Instead of going for the cover Frank decides to bring in some fresh blood, tagging in Frankie. Frankie comes in and connects with a succession of Steinerlines. Right hand sends Synth reeling against the ropes. Frankie grabs Synth and whips him across the ring. BACK BOD-- No, Synth floats over the top, kicks Frankie in the gut and spikes his head into the mat with a PILEDRIVER! BUT FRANKIE POPS UP, BARKING! Synth can't believe. Meanwhile, on the apron, Logan spingboards to the top rope. Synth kicks his feet up and him and Logan simultaneously hit Frankie in the front (Synth) and the back (Logan) of the head with a DOUBLE SPINNING HEEL KICK! Frankie's body torques as he gets nailed from both sides, falling down to the mat. Frank livid on the apron. The cover. ONE... TWO... THRE-- FRANK COMES IN AND WALLOPS SYNTH WITH A STIFF KICK TO THE HEAD. Synth stares at Frank, grimacing in pain as he rubs the side of his head. He turns his attention back to Frankie and puts him in a front facelock, taking him over to his corner and tagging in Logan who comes off the top with a double axe-handle to the back. He uses both hands to bring Frankie back to his feet and suplexes him, following that up with a reverse chinlock, scissoring his legs around Frankie's waist. COACH Logan choosing to lower the tempo of what has been a fast paced, action packed match so far. Both of these teams having issued challenges to the new OAOAST World Tag Team Champions, the New New Midnight Express. BOOOOOOOO! COLE Speak of the devil. What's he doing out here? CABOOSE Watching the match. Cameras cut to the entranceway, where JIM CORNETTE is headed ringside. He stops about 5 feet away from the ring and checks out the action. The wrestlers are just as confused as anybody. COLE I know that. But couldn't he do that in the back? There's no reason for him to be out here. Logan shoves Frankie back and jumps up in the air, missing a legdrop as he comes back down. Frankie looks outside and sees Jim Cornette watching, nodding his head. Frankie goes wild in the ring, stomping and clubbering the hell out of Logan with a ferociousness the likes of which we've never seen. Synth comes in to help his partner, bringing in Frank as well. Frank drills Synth in the mouth with a running forearm smash, knocking him off his feet. Frank picks Synth back up and rams him shoulder-first into the ringpost between the top and middle turnbuckles. He pulls Synth out and hits him with a DDT. Frank sends Logan towards Frank...TILT-A-WHIRL SLAM! Frank gives a thumbs up, signaling Frankie to go up to the top. Frank picks Mann up and spins him around, lifting him onto his shoulders and backing up towards Frankie. BULLDOG OFF THE TOP ROPE! Frankie covers. ONE... TWO... THREE! * DING DING DING DING * COACH Whoa! The sudden turn of events catches everybody by surprise -- the fans, referee and announcers. The only one who doesn't seem surprised is Jim Cornette, who is walking back up the aisle with a huge grin on his face, "Frankenstein" playing in the background. The Frankensteiners high-five and then exit the ring. The Heavenly Rockers left laying on the mat. COLE I'm--I'm still stunned by what we've just seen. I mean, the Heavenly Rockers were in control of the match and then, just like that, out of nowhere, the Frankensteiners shock everybody by destroying them in just seconds. CABOOSE I'm with you, Cole, I... Oh yes! (laughs) It was right in front of us all. I guess the Frankensteiners aren't that stupid after all. COLE Oh, no. You're not suggesting... CABOOSE I am. The Frankensteiners have joined forces with Jim Cornette! COLE No way. It can't be. COACH James E. did say he was going to get back at the Heavenly Rockers one way or the way, no matter how long it takes. COLE I don't believe it. I don't want to belive it. But my eyes are telling me otherwise. The Frankensteiners... No! COACH Believe it, baby. Hey, Mikey, it's your show! We cut to a shot of a neon sign, flashing "Cole's Bar" Voice over: "'Cole's Bar' is filmed before a live studio audience!" Cut to a shot of a warm, friendly looking bar with lots of people eating and drinking. Michael Cole is pouring a cocktail for an athletic looking young man and gazing into his eyes. The door swings open. CABOOSE Good evening, everybody! EVERYONE IN THE BAR 'BOOOSE! COLE What can I get you Mr. C? Caboose pulls out his trademark cricket bat and swats Cole in the face with it. Cole collapses behind the bar, while Caboose mugs to the camera, to roars of laughter from the audience. We cut back to Sofa Central. COLE That was a clip from the new episode of "Cole's Bar" later tonight... CABOOSE Definitely my favourite episode so far. COLE You were supposed to use a fake bat... CABOOSE I'm a method actor, Mikey. The camera cuts to the ring, where we see "the farmer of champions", Mr. Jivin' Jim Ross, clad in a snazzy tuxedo, with a microphone. JR Ladies and Gentlemen, I want to welcome you to a very special event. Exactly one year ago, something momentous occured in the world of professional wrestling. Two men with class, integrity, athleticism, skill and, quite frankly, the best non-hoss bodies you could ever hope to see, came together to form an alliance worthy of worship. Folks, I want you to join me in paying thanks and celebrating the 1st Anniversary of Black T! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Cue: "Quiet" Tony Brannigan and Dan Black, dressed in casual clothes for once, jeans and the new Black T t-shirt, stroll down to the ring, big grins on their faces. COLE For two men who came up short of their boasts at Living Angleously, I don't see what they have to smile about. COACH It's their anniversary, Cole! Can't you be happy for anyone? Dan and Tony slide into the ring. JR Gentlemen - happy aniversary! Happy Black T day! Tony takes the microphone from him. "BLACK T SUCKS! BLACK T SUCKS!" BRANNIGAN Things just get better and better for Black T! "BOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Tony is seriously in denial. BRANNIGAN At Living Angleously, you saw two of the greatest professional wrestling perfomances of all time. Men gasped. Children cried. Women became moist. You saw Tony Brannigan and Dan Black reach the top of the OAOAST mountain, only once again to have our rightful position snatched away from us. COACH Both members of Black T lost clean and fair. This is clutching at straws from Brannigan. BRANNIGAN Quite clearly, on Sunday, myself and Daniel Black scored many, many obvious pinfalls upon our respective opponents. Each time, however, the officials held back their hands from their descisive three count. Let me show you - The AngleTron flickers into life, and shows clips of Zack Malibu kicking out of the Black Out and Pitch Black, and Axel kicking out of the Out of Body Experience and a Rude Awakening. BRANNIGAN If you enlarge the pictures, you can see the referee's holding back their hands. Clearly, they were under instructions not to let Black T win, at any costs. Dan Black nods supportively. "It's a damn shame!" yells Jivin' JR. BRANNIGAN But..what can you do? We'll keep on fighting the system. We'll keep on thrilling audiences until finally, finally we are given our fair shots. Until then, this is a day of celebration. A day one year ago saw greatness born. Don't think we've forgotten about the tag titles. Don't think we've forgotten about the World Title. We're coming for everything. Because drama and timing is everything. Tony hands the mic to Dan, who slaps the smooching Tony on the back. BLACK I couldn't have said it any better myself. Zack, you put up a hell of a fight, I'll give you that. But next time we meet, you won't be so lucky. I hope your neck's healing up nice and quick, Zacky, because next time we meet I'll make good on my promise, and snap it like a twig. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Dan Black did take Zack to the limit, but there's no denying that when the dust settled, Zack was the one having his arm raised as the better man. BLACK And for the rest of you poor OAOAST has beens, wannabes and pretenders, don't think that it's just Black T you have to contend with. Don't think that the most dangerous group in this companies history has been forgotten. Now that our good friend CWM has disposed of *sniff* "Some Guy", the Original Elite will be back to ride to glory. But enough talking. It's time for the Black T birthday celebrations to begin. Jivin JR intervenes. JR Oh, guys, that reminds me, its time for your birthday present! I went to a selection of the more upperclass bars in the area, and put out the word that I was looking for young ladies to join the Black T birthday party. And, well, here are the results. JR gestures to the entrance, where a group of a dozen young, athletic looking girls comes walking to the ring clad only in lingerie. Dan and Tony's faces light up, as they shake hands with JR for a job well done. The girls enter the ring, where they immediately cozy up to Dan and Tony, pulling off their Black T t-shirts and rubbing their hands of the torsos of Black T. COLE Oh, this is just getting pornographic out here. CABOOSE You wouldn't say that if it were guys all over Black T. BRANNIGAN I'm glad we saved the suits for the party tonight, because right now I want as few clothes between me and you girls as possible. Let's take this backstage, huh? Dan, Tony and the girls make to leave. JR hangs onto Dan's elbow. Black turns and shakes his head with a laugh. "But...but...", says JR, lips trembling, "I can be sexy too!" JR rips off his tux, revealing he too is wearing lingerie. Dan and Tony almost throw up, and cover their eyes, almost screaming in pain. JR pouts, and runs backstage, possibly crying. Recovering themselves, Black T try to leave again. Cue: "Calling Dr. Love!" Out walk the Love Doctors, freshly re-gained HIYAH tag titles slung over their shoulders. MAX ANDERSON Gentleman, once again you prove you are...well, the medical term is, I believe, totalus assholus. STEVE PIGLEY Some of those girls are my patients - her, there, the blonde - I'm treating her for nymphomania. She needs hard treatment, every night! The blonde giggles and blows a kiss to Pigley. MAX It's funny, you still talk about being the best - when we have gold over our shoulders, and all you have is a collection of skanky whores. Dan and Tony glare furiously at the Docs. BLACK You know - we wouldn't take your pathetic little titles if you handed them to us. But we'll gladly teach you college boys a lesson in respect. The Docs nod and walk down to the ring. Black T usher the girls out of ring. COLE Woh, an impromtu match! No titles on the line, but Black T's pride sure is! The Docs want to poop Black T's party! COACH Black T not even in ring gear...and don't forget the Docs beat Black T to win the HIYAH titles the first time around. Max steps into the ring for his team, straight into a hard forearm shot from Dan Black! Referee Carmella DuBois, the first female official of the OAOAST, runs out from the back in figure hugging zebra shirt to take control of the match. Black whips Max to the ropes and as he rebounds catches him with a knee to the gut. Dan grabs Anderson and tries for an Exploder suplex, but Anderson elbows out. Max applies an armbar to Dan, but Black easily counters into a waistlock and stings Max with a hard German suplex. Dan draws Max up and tags in Tony Brannigan. Tony pounds on the back of Max with stiff punches, ignoring the protests of Ref Carmella. Brannigan whips Anderson to the ropes and knockes him down with a shoulder block, before running the ropes and delivering a power elbow to the sternum. Brannigan scrapes Max off the canvas and just shoves him into the Doc's corner, daring Pigley to enter. COLE Very arrogant move from Tony Brannigan. COACH He wants to make an example of the Docs here. Pigley doesn't hesitate to tag himself in. He and Tony lock up, with Brannigan using his obvious strength advantage to power Steve into a corner. As referee Carmella reaches the 4 count, Tony breaks the lock up, but immediately fires a back elbow into the jaw of Steve. Brannigan then flips Dr. Pigley out of the corner with a huge hiptoss. Steve staggers up, but walks right into a belly to belly throw from Brannigan. Tony scoops Pigley up and tags back to Dan. Black T whip Steve to the ropes and propel him high into the air with a double team back drop. Almost as soon as Pigley lands, Dan Black grabs him up, applying a front face lock and then hitting him swiftly with a nasty looking brainbuster that smashes Dr. Steve's head into the canvas. Black floats over to cover: ONE! TWO! THR- Max Anderson breaks up the count. Dan brings Steve up, and clamps on a side headlock. Pigley manages to fight back, and pushes Black off to the ropes. Dan comes back hurling a lariat, but Steve rolls under it and tags to Max Anderson. Max springboards in off the top ropes, locking his legs around Dan's head and flipping him over with a frankensteiner! Black stumbles up, and Max brings him over with a deep arm drag, followed by a DDT into a cover- ONE! TWO! T- Dan kicks out. Max brings him to his feet and tries another whip, but Dan reverses it and sends Anderson to the Black T side of the ring, where Tony sticks up a knee that Max flies into. Anderson staggers off the ropes, and Dan kicks him in the cut, grabs his wrist behind his legs and dunks Max on the back of his head with a wrist clutch exploder suplex! COLE Ow! That looked painful! Max Anderson is in big trouble. CABOOSE The wrist clutch is a deadly variant on the exploder suplex. Anderson has to get out of there. Cover- ONE! TWO! THREE! No- Dr. Steve breaks it up! Dan glares at Anderson. COLE Black really looking furious with the Love Doctors. COACH There's an intensity to Black T tonight. They're really out to make everyone forget about their failed promises for Living Angleously. Dan gives a cut throat gesture to Pigley as he picks Anderson up - KICK WHAM BLACKOUT - no, Anderson somehow manages to push him off. Black bounces off the ropes and runs back into a kick to the gut from Max, who jumps onto Dan's back and spins him around with a sunset flip powerbomb (Code Red)! ONE! TWO! THRE- No, Black kicks out! Both men now looking for the tag. They make it simultaneously! Tony and Pigley jump in and slug it out in the middle of the ring. Pigley with the advantage thanks to his quicker hands, and he hits Brannigan with a jaw breaker, then school boys Brannigan as he turns away - ONE! TWO! THREE- No, Tony kicks out. Both men up, Pigley moves in - straight into a HUGE Out of Body Experience spinebuster, Brannigan leaping high into the air and spinning and crushing Pigley into the mat! Cover! ONE! TWO! Max tries to run in for the save but eats a vicious lariat from Dan Black! THREE! *DING DING DING* BUFFER The winners of this match - BLLLLLLACK TEEEEEEEE! COLE Well, it looks like turning out to be a good birthday for Black T after all! COACH The Docs tried to make a step up with a brave challenge to Black T, but I think they might just have picked the wrong day to do it. You have to think Tony was imagining Axel when he drilled Pigley with the Out of Body Experience. Dan and Tony exit the ring with the girls, all applauding, while the crowd is somewhat less appreciative. CABOOSE As much as I've come to dislike them - Happy Birthday to Black T. They've come back from Living Angleously with a dominating win, and I think the whole of the OAOAST still has reason to fear them. COLE Up next - our MAIN EVENT! Alfdogg RETURNS TO THE RING! NO HOLDS BARRED VERSUS PETER KNIGHT! ALL CAPS MEANS I'M EXCITED!! AND IT'S NEXT!!!!!

We return to HeldDOWN~!, with the one and only Michael Cole standing in the ring. Which has to mean something's going down. COLE At Living Anglelously, we all saw the crowning of a new OAOAST X-Division Champion. After nearly 6 months as champion, Leon Rodez lost the X-Division Title to The 70s Dude. But the match was not without controversy... ***ROLL RECAP** ***END RECAP*** COLE Ladies and gentlemen, at this time, may we present the two men who played a big part in Leon Rodez's downfall... The two men seen at Living Anglelously suddenly appear, climbing up the ring steps and getting instant heel heat in the process. The larger of the two men, dressed to the nines in an expensive looking suit, enters first, followed by the more casually dressed second man. The man who so viciously smashed Leon Rodez with a laval lamp at Living Anglelously. COLE ...gentlemen...I have been asked by Josie Baker to conduct this interview with you. So, I'm just going to cut to the chase. Who are you and why did you cost Leon Rodez the X-Division Champion. The smaller man takes the microphone from Michael Cole, motioning him back as he turns to the camera. CHRISTIAN WRIGHT Michael Cole, in answer to your first question...my name is Christian Wright. And this is my bodyguard, Bohemoth. Now...before I go any further, I wish to make one thing perfectly clear. The only...ONLY reason why I am giving you so much as the time of day, is by request of OAOAST General Manager Josie Baker. I know you're wondering why. Well, the answer is, by doing this interview...myself and my associate will recieve signed, sealed and delivered OAOAST contracts tommorrow morning. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" CABOOSE Woah! COACH That don't seem right. WRIGHT That's right. We are professional wrestlers. By explaining our actions, we get the chance to follow up on them further....and that is the only reason you are getting any sort of justification from me. A little backstory...I, Christian Wright, am a professional wrestler. I grew up in North Carolina, hoping to one day become a technical wrestling masterpiece like Ric Flair himself. That was my goal. I strove to achieve it and eventually, through hard work and honest morality made it into this business. Which was when my life was morphed into a world of sins. When things didn't work out so well at the beginning and, in my youthful innocence, I turned to another form of wrestling. Hardcore wrestling. Wright looks down at his feet, shaking his head. WRIGHT There, I found success. In hardcore matches, I became a star. A sudden discovery of a high threshold for pain put me on a high that was too dangerous to be contained. Soon, I was pushing myself to the limits outside of the ring, as well as in. See...I achieved my goal of being a professional wrestler. But when I achieved it, what I saw shocked and disgusted me. For you see, this wrestling business is not as morally solid as you would expect. CABOOSE No shit. WRIGHT I expected to live a rich life, putting on wrestling clinics and entertaining fans. Instead, what I got was sh*t in a bag and as many ringrats as I could handle! Again, Wright solemnly looks down at the ground. WRIGHT Yes, I sinned. I became a sorry excuse for a human being. But luckily, before I could fall too deep into wrestling's corrupt moral cesspool, I realised what it was doing to me...and from that moment on, I vowed to clean up this wrestling industry! No more immorally violent, hardcore wrestling. No more greed and gluttony. No more wild sexual antics. No more...sins. From then on, everywhere I went, I strived to rid wrestling of it's biggest sinners. And I vowed to make wrestling a better place. To bring BACK...the MORALS that should dictate this society, yet are sadly lacking in modern day America! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" WRIGHT I strived to fight the good fight, to save your children from becoming predjudiced, immoral human beings!! Not for God, not for network censors, but because it was RIGHT! And I was succeeding. Yet, for the past six months, I have taken a break from fighting the good fight. I left the wrestling business. My career, I thought, was over. Until...I discovered a sickening secret. A secret about Mr Leon Rodez. The crowd cheer Rodez's name, which brings a sour look to Wright's face. WRIGHT For you see, it was ME who discovered Leon Rodez's sordid past. If it were not for ME, Leon Rodez would still be claiming to be a clean cut, apple-pie eating role model for you and your families...whilst secretly endulging in sordid activities. I realised that a man such as Leon Rodez should not be allowed to become a hero to your children. I had to act. For the good of all that is moral. So I set about a plan. Living Anglelously was not the beginning. It was ME who threw the vulgar filth that was the Leon Rodez videotape at his feet! It was ME...who led those Christians activists during the Run For The Gold Match a few months ago, to prevent Leon Rodez becoming your World Champion. And then, Living Anglelously presented the perfect opportunity to once and for all take away Leon Rodez's power once and for all. Without the X-Division Championship, Leon Rodez is less of an example for you to follow. And that is what you need. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Stopping for the boos, Wright shakes his head. WRIGHT You may not realise it yet, but I am doing this...FOR YOUR... OWN... GOOD!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" WRIGHT I am being the parental guidance you fail to be! I am the moral conscience you all seem to lack! Me my friends. Me. And once I obtain my OAOAST contract, I can finally rid the wrestling industry of the sin that is Leon Rodez once and for all. From there, I can make the OAOAST a better place...for you all. For your children. For your elderly relatives. For anyone with a shred of moral decency. And THAT is why I smashed Leon Rodez's brains in with that lava lamp. Now, that's all I have to say. Wright tosses the microphone back to Michael Cole, still getting booed wildly by the fans. COLE Woah, woah...wait there just a second Mr Wright. You do realise that Leon Rodez needed 23 staples in the back of his head to close the wound YOU inflicted with a glass lava lamp. You attacked him from behind, in the middle of a match. You're lucky you weren't prosecuted by the OAOAST for your actions! And yet, despite your actions, you still take the moral highground with us all? Wright snatches the microphone back. WRIGHT Michael Cole. By criticising my actions, you support all that I hate. What I did, I was completely justified in doing...for the ends, justify the means. And Michael, remember one thing above all else...I cannot take the moral highground...FOR I AM THE MORAL HIGHGROUND!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The fans jeer Wright some more, as he tosses the microphone down and leaves the ring. Giving up, Cole just shrugs, watching Wright and Bohemoth go before leaving the ring himself. COACH Who the hell does that guy think he is? There's NOTHING wrong with ringrats! CABOOSE Well, if this guy gets rid of idiots like Leon Rodez and Cole, then I'm all for him. COACH Well that was mean. CABOOSE Maybe he'll get rid of you too. COACH NEVER! The Coach is omnivescent and everpresent. That's what I'm talk'bout! COLE Hey, guys, did I miss anything? CABOOSE Besides puberty, no. COLE Okay, cool! Well, folks, if you joined us last Sunday, you saw...well you saw many things. A lot of great action. COACH Yeah, and if you MISSED it, joke's on you! SUCKA~! COLE But one thing that went down Sunday was Crystal STEALING the #1 contendership from Hoff! CABOOSE Oh, please, Michael, don't play that card! Crystal won the match in the center of the ring. COLE Caboose, Crystal tapped! Crystal was in Hoff's anklelock and tapped out, but the referee was down, and -- well, let's just roll the tape! LIVING ANGLELOUSLY LAST SUNDAY Hoff with the waistlock, but Crystal pries his hands apart and hits a standing switch of her own! Crystal gets the position, but Hoff somersaults forward, grabbing Crystal's leg as he does and sending her to the mat! Hoff rolls between Crystal's legs, ending up behind her, and grabs her ankle and APPLIES THE ANKLELOCK!!!!! CABOOSE NO!! The fans EXPLODE as Hoff busts the anklelock out of NOWHERE, torquing the ankle of the Crown Jewel violently out of place! Crystal gets to the ropes...but there's no referee! It doesn't matter, as Hoff YANKS her away from the bottom strand and drags her to the center of the ring, TWISTING at the ankle of Crystal -- and CRYSTAL TAPS!! COACH Crystal is tapping out!! COLE But the ref is still down! Hey...HEY! WAIT A MINUTE!! The crowd jeers as Gunner Sharps slides into the ring! Seeing Gunner, Hoff lets go of the anklelock and turns to face him, just in time to eat a SPEAR~ that sends him down!! COLE SHARP END!! THE SHARP END FROM GUNNER!! Crystal gingerly pulls herself up, favoring her ankle, as Gunner slides out of the ring. Hoff is prone on the mat, and Crystal looks down, then heads to the ropes! SHe jumps once, twice, and hits the DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOO!" CABOOSE YES!! YES YES YES!! COLE Crystal hits the Diamond in the Rough, and Hoff is out! Crystal stays on top of Hoff, hooking hisleg as Gunner Sharps grabs the referee! From his spot on the outside, Gunner reaches into the ring and shakes Robinson, bringing him back to life! Groggily, the official crawls over to Crystal and Hoff, making the count! COLE NOT LIKE THIS!!! ONE!! TWO!! THREE!!!!!!!! *ding ding ding* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" "Plug in Baby" hits as Howard Finkel reads the decision. FINK The winner of this contest.....CRYSTAL!!!!!!!!! The fans jeer, irate, as Gunner slides into the ring, helping Crystal to her feet. Gunner chases Robinson away, then raises Crystal's hand himself to a loud chorus of boos. COLE I can't believe this. Crystal has stolen the number one contendership. The feed cuts back to live TV, and Triple C. COLE See? Plain as day! CABOOSE What I see is the right person going over. COLE Well, I guess ethics don't count at Caboose's house. CABOOSE Damn right. Win, win at all costs. That's MY motto. The arena is drowned by the sounds of "The Clincher" and it brings the fans to their feet! "YEAH!!!!!" CABOOSE Oh, great. What's he doing here? COLE Word is he's got something to say about what happened on Sunday! CABOOSE Oh, brother... The fans EXPLODE with love as Hoff steps out from behind the curtain! The heroic warrior, clad in jeans and his newer, "edgier" H t-shirt (mad love to KC), smiles lightly and nods, tapping his chest with his fist in a show of respect. CABOOSE And how many shirts does one guy need? COLE Caboose, his classic shirt is the #1 selling item on OAOAST Shopzone, and his new one is flying off shelves! Fans, buy 'em today! COACH I already have like six. Hoff hits the ring, sliding under the bottom rope and climbing to the near corner, throwing a fist in the air as he stands proudly on the ropes. Hoff closes his eyes, letting the fans shower him in affection, before hoppng off the ropes and asking the timekeeper for the mic. The fan favorite stands in the center of the ring, a thin smile on his lips. "HOFF! HOFF! HOFF! HOFF! HOFF! HOFF! HOFF! HOFF!" HOFF You know I love you guys... "YEEEEEAAAHHHH!!!" HOFF But right now there's a pressing matter I need to get off my chest. The fans quiet down, waiting on Hoff's words. HOFF See, last Sunday, at Living Anglelously... "BOOOOOOOO!" COLE These fans still upset at what happened to Hoff. HOFF I was all set to go out there, kick some ass, and take whatever I wanted... "YEEEEEAAAAHHH!" HOFF But instead, I ran into a little problem. "BOOOOOOOOOO!" HOFF I was a steamroller, a bulldozer...but I ran into a little bit of a roadblock. "GUN-NER SUCKS!" "GUN-NER SUCKS!" "GUN-NER SUCKS!" "GUN-NER SUCKS!" HOFF A seven-foot, three-hundred and seventy-five pound roadblock. COACH Hey, I know who he means! He means Gunner Sharps! CABOOSE Well played. You simp. COACH Thanks! HOFF And the way I see it, I've got two options. Either I can give up, give in...say, "well, I've had a good run, but I guess it's over," and tuck my tail between my legs and go home... "BOOOOOOOOOO!" Hoff's eyes get ANGRY~ as he continues. HOFF Or I can say "no way, screw you, I'm not letting anything stand in MY way," and I can pick myself up, dust myself off, and run that son of a bitch roadblock into the GROUND!! "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF" HOFF And so Gunner Sharps, why don't you get your big, roadblockin' ass out here, and we can do this thing RIGHT NOW!! Hoff lowers the mic and, amidst a boisterous sea of fans, waves Gunner on from the entrance... CUE: "Sick" by Dope "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Gunner Sharps is coming out to respond! Gunner, all seven feet of him, comes out from backstage, mic in hand, looking up at Hoff. GUNNER Hoff, please. Try to calm down. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Hoff paces the ring, fuming. GUNNER Very well...Hoff, let me try to explain something to you. See, you are what the scholars would call a "savage." A brute...a caveman, really. "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" GUNNER I mean, let's face facts. Each week you come out here, grunting, screaming...basically acting like a primal warrior. And while that may serve you well in the arena, it's slightly less acceptable in everyday life. COLE What the hell is Gunner talking about? COACH Are they feeding him these lines through an earpiece? CABOOSE Is that what they do with you? COACH Yeah, actually, see they-- COLE KAYFABE!! CABOOSE AND COACH *ulp* Gunner smiles, arrogantly. GUNNER See, while all these people are quick to label ME a savage, the fact is that I have changed. Matured. Being with a lady of distinction like Crystal has made me see that a true champion must conduct himself well both inside and outside the ring. Gunner starts walking toward the ring. GUNNER Do you see what I'm saying? Hoff stares him down through narrow eyes, unspeaking. GUNNER Hoff, the simple truth is, Crystal and I did what we did not for ourselves, but for the good of the company. Gunner steps into the ring, coming face to face with Hoff, looking like the cat who ate the canary. GUNNER Please try to understand-- Hoff throws his hand in front of Gunner's face, cutting him off to a loud cheer! Hoff steps away from Gunner, paces for a moment...then cocks his head and looks at the seven-footer. HOFF Gunner. Gunner mouths the word "what," as Hoff smiles a thin smile. HOFF How's your ankle? Gunner turns BEET RED, the fans cheer, and the monster raises his mic. GUNNER I-- HOFF No, you know what? Forget you; how is...Crystal's ankle? "YEEEEEAAAAHHHH!!!" HOFF Because the WHOLE WORLD saw her tappin' out at Living Anglelously! Just like you did two weeks ago, and just like you're gonna do....again. COLE Oh my. Hoff steps toward Gunner, bringing the two face to face. Hoff looks up at his foe. HOFF Gunner, I'm supposed to have a date with Axel at School's Out. But you've cleared my calendar, so it only seems fair that I spend it with you. GUNNER Now Hoff, I-- HOFF Yes, or no, Gunner. Yes...or no. GUNNER ....You're on. Hoff smiles, and nods, then takes a step back, turning away....and NAILS Gunner with a wild haymaker!! Gunner snaps back and Hoff rushes at him, taking him down to the mat and unloading on him with a hailstorm of fists! COLE Oh yeah!!! Hoff and Gunner roll around on the mat, brawling until CARL WINSLOW and security rush out to break it up!! Gunner is escorted from the ring, as inside, Carl and co. hold the big man back!! COLE What an announcement! Hoff vs. Gunner Sharps at School's Out!! CABOOSE Wonderful. Hey, call me crazy, but aren't we supposed to have WRESTLING on our wrestling shows? COLE Damn right! Tag team action up next, the Heavenly Rockers taking on the Frankenstieners! Stay with us!

A deep, slow voiced man saids “LIGHTNING CREW!” which signals to the crowd that it’s time to stand up and boo. Smoke fills the entranceway while the opening for “No Chance In Hell” begins. A few seconds later, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, and “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Boyds starts playing as The Lightning Crew entrance video is shown on the AngleTron. *No Chance (No Chance) That’s what ya got (Ha! Ha! Yeah) Put up against no machine too strong (Too strong) Pussy politicians buying souls for us Are…PUPPETS! (Puppets!) But will find their place In line (In line) But tie a string around your finger now boy cuz Cuz, it’s just a matter of time Cuz, you’ve got…NO CHANCE! (Got no chance) NO CHANCE IN HELL!!! You’ve got…NO CHANCE! (Yeah, yeah, yeah) NO CHANCE IN HELL!!!* The entrance doors slide open, and Vitamin X and Cuban Wall step through the smoke. The crowd greets the two Lightning Crew members with loud boos. Wall and X look at the crowd, and Wall puts his right fist in the air. The two then walk to the ring. You've got...NO CHANCE! (Got no chance) NO CHANCE IN HELL!!! You've got...NO CHANCE! (Chance) NO CHANCE IN HELL!!!* *DING DING DING* MICHAEL BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, with a 30 minute T.V. time limit. Introducing first, coming down the aisle. First, from Havana, Cuba, weighing in at 305 lbs. He is the “Official Muscle Of The Lightning Crew”, CUBAN WALLLLLLLLLLLL!!!! And his partner, also from Havana, Cuba, but now residing in Miami, Florida. Weighing in at 248 lbs. He is the “Official Financial Consultant For The Lightning Crew”. VITAMIN XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!! COLE Two members of Tha Puerto Rican’s Lightning Crew are in action this week on HeldDOWN~!. PRL is still the 24/7 Champion, following the events of last Sunday’s Living Anglelously, where John “Rock Hard” Brickston was SCREWED out of the 24/7 Title! COACH PRL took out Brickston with brass knuckles, and then planted them in one of Brickston’s kneepads. Brickston was able to make PRL submit to the anklelock, but the decision was reversed, when Popick told the referee that Brickston had brass knuckles in his kneepad. CABOOSE Kudos for P.R. for letting the referee know of Brickston’s nefarious cheating! Brickston would have stolen the 24/7 Title if it weren’t for that! Wall shadowboxes before he enters the ring. Vitamin X and Cuban Wall enter the ring while “No Chance In Hell” continues playing. X hops on a turnbuckle, and crosses his arms in an X, while Wall raises his right fist in the air. He then taunts the fans at ringside, as the lights go back in the arena. Wall then raises his arms on the turnbuckles. COLE How can you be so blind to the obvious? Brickston did not cheat at all last Sunday. PRL planted brass knuckles on Brickston just incase he lost the title! CABOOSE That’s just what they want you to think! Cuban Wall and Vitamin X stand in the ring. Wall shadowboxes, while “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Boyds dies down. “Stars And Stripes Forever” starts up, receiving a pop from the crowd. The entrance doors slide open, and the two masked wrestlers from the good ol’ U.S. of A. step through, each waving an American flag proudly. All-American Boy II and All-American Boy III walk down the ramp, waving their American flags, and slapping hands with the fans. BUFFER And their opponents, from the land of the free and the home of the brave, All-American Boy II; All-American Boy III; THE ALL-AMERICAAAAANNNNNNN BOOOOOYYYYYYYYSSSSSSSSS!!!! COLE The All-American Boys haven’t appeared on HeldDOWN~! in quite some time, and some might say they have a giant task ahead of them, taking on two members of the dangerous Lightning Crew. CABOOSE These boys may have the fans approval by waving the American flag, but that won’t do them any good once they step into the ring. Vitamin X and Cuban Wall are two talented superstars, and under the guidance of Tha Puerto Rican, have only gotten better in the past 2 years. The All-American Boys enter the ring, and continue waving Old Glory, while “Stars And Stripes Forever” continues blaring over the P.A. system. Cuban Wall and Vitamin X look at the two in disgust. The Boys give their American flags to one of the ring crew members, and then stare at their opponents for tonight. COACH It’s two All-Americans taking on two foreigners. Two men from a capitalist country taking on two men from a communist country. This is like something from 1980s WWF! Referee Nick Soapdish checks on both All-American Boys, and Vitamin X and Cuban Wall. Afterwards, he calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* THE ALL-AMERICAN BOYS VS. CUBAN WALL & VITAMIN X “Stars And Stripes Forever” dies down. The All-American Boys start a “U.S.A.!” chant to get the crowd going. Vitamin X heads to the ring apron, as does AAB II. Cuban Wall and AAB II stare at each other, waiting for the other to make the move. They circle each other, and lock up. Wall grabs a headlock, and squeezes it tight. He punches AAB II, but he is able to escape, and whip Wall to the ropes. Cuban Wall bumps into AAB II, causing him to fall to the mat. Cuban Wall heads to the ropes again, but this time, AAB II is able to leapfrog over him. Wall heads to the opposite ropes. AAB II goes for a hiptoss, is unable to lift the big man up, so Wall reverses the hiptoss into his own, slamming AAB II down. Cuban Wall goes drops an elbow, but AAB II moves out of the way, and Wall ends up hitting the canvas. COLE The All-American Boys have to put Cuban Wall down if they want to win this match! AAB II dropkicks Wall in the chest, and then heads to the ropes, and does a Rolling Thunder onto Cuban Wall. AAB II picks up Cuban Wall and punches him in the face several times, as the crowd cheers. All-American Boy II whips Cuban Wall into the ropes, and goes for a clothesline; however, Cuban Wall ducks the clothesline, and hits a flying clothesline of his own. COLE What a surprising move from Cuban Wall! COACH Who was the last big man to do a flying clothesline? The Undertaker? CABOOSE That is just one of the many reasons why Cuban Wall is the best big man in wrestling today. Wall picks All-American Boy II up, and beats him up. The punches cause AAB II to stumble all over the ring, so Wall grabs him and shoves him onto a turnbuckle. Cuban Wall punches AAB II repeatedly, and then follows by choking him. Referee Nick Soapdish orders for Wall to let go, but Wall continues the choke until the count of 4. Wall then whips AAB II into the opposite turnbuckle, and follows that with an avalanche. AAB II stumbles out of the turnbuckle, so Wall grabs him and gives him a sidewalk slam. CABOOSE Way to go, Cuban Wall! Keep on doing what you’re doing! Lay into that wimp! Do it for Cuba! Do it for the Cuban people! Do it for Castro…well not for Castro. But do it for the Cuban people! COLE Cuban Wall makes the tag to Vitamin X. Vitamin X leaps onto the top rope…and leaps off with a flying elbowdrop onto the chest of All-American Boy II. Vitamin X goes for the cover. It gets a two count. X continues the beatdown on AAB II, not stopping his attack. He lays into AAB II with a field goal like kick to the stomach. The crowd starts chanting “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” X tells the crowd to shut up, and then grabs AAB II and gives him a snap suplex. X then applies an arm-bar on the right arm. CABOOSE Ooh, this isn’t good. X is a master of submission holds. COACH Since when? CABOOSE Since…well, I don’t have an exact date, but he’s been a submissions master for a while. Vitamin X picks up AAB II while still holding onto the arm-bar, and shoulderblocks AAB II several times, before bouncing off the ropes, and giving AAB II a swinging neckbreaker. X quickly covers AAB II. 1…2…AAB II kicks out at 2! X argues with the ref, but he goes back on offense, standing up and hitting AAB II with two kneedrops. He covers AAB II again. It gets another two count. X picks up AAB II again, but this time, AAB II nails X in the gut with lefts and rights. The crowd comes alive at this. All-American Boy II runs to the ropes, and leaps onto X with a crossbody. It only gets a two count. When X gets up, AAB II arm-drags him. X gets up again, so AAB II arm-drags him again. X gets up again, but stops before AAB II can arm-drag him for a third time. CABOOSE Smart thinking from Vitamin X. You see? Spending time with PRL will make you a better wrestler. This is proof. Vitamin X and AAB II circle each other. They lockup, each jockeying for position. Vitamin X grabs AAB II by his mask, but AAB II punches him in the face. AAB Irish Whips All-American Boy II into the ropes but misses a clothesline. Instead, X grabs All-American Boy II, giving him a floatover DDT. X goes for the cover again. 1… 2… KICK OUT! CABOOSE Beautiful floatover DDT from X. I tell ya, he surprises me with every match he’s in. Vitamin X tags in Cuban Wall, and the “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” chants begin again. Wall kicks AAB II back down, and then does a legdrop onto the back of his neck. He turns AAB II around, and chokes him, but Referee Nick Soapdish removes his hands from around The All-American Boy’s neck. So, Cuban Wall covers AAB II. 1… 2… KICK OUT! COLE Cuban Wall is becoming annoyed that he hasn’t pinned All-American Boy II yet. COACH It appears as though The Lightning Crew doesn’t intimidate The All-American Boys. Wall picks up AAB II and lifts him up into a fallaway slam position. Cuban Wall parades around the ring with a smirk on his face, and then runs into a turnbuckle, slamming the back of AAB II. He then runs to another turnbuckle, and once again slams the back of AAB II. Cuban Wall goes to a third turnbuckle, and once again, slams AAB II’s back against it. He then goes to a fourth turnbuckle, slamming it once again, and then finishes with a powerslam. 1… 2… 3—KICK OUT!!! Cuban Wall kicks All-American Boy II some more, and then picks him up. He whips him into the ropes, kicks him in the gut, and then hits a double-armed DDT on him—NO—AAB II escapes the double-armed DDT, and punches Cuban Wall. The big man becomes dazed, so All-American Boy II heads to the ropes, and dropkicks Cuban Wall. However, the big man does not fall. All-American Boy II goes to the ropes again, and goes for a crossbody, BUT Wall catches Boy II, and places him on his right shoulder. The crowd starts getting hyper as Wall prepares to do a tombstone piledriver on AAB II. HOWEVER, AAB II escapes the tombstone piledriver…and gives Cuban Wall reverse DDT! CABOOSE Where the hell did that come from? COLE A last second move by All-American Boy II! And now would be the time for All-American Boy II to make the tag to All-American Boy III! Cuban Wall and All-American Boy II lie on the mat. AAB III leads the crowd in a chant of “U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!” Wall and AAB II crawl to their corners for a tag. AAB II makes the hot tag to All-American Boy III just as Cuban Wall makes the tag to Vitamin X. AAB III and Vitamin X engage in a slugfest in the middle of the ring. X gains the advantage, whipping AAB III into the ropes—NO—X is whipped into the ropes instead, and AAB III greets him with a flying reverse elbow. All-American Boy III waits for X to get up, to hit him with a dropkick. COLE And All-American Boy III is turning the tide for The All-American Boys! AAB III drops several elbows onto the back of X’s neck. He picks X up and charges after him. X grabs AAB III, and lifts him up for the Dominator, but when he goes to slam him down, AAB III grabs X’s neck, and gives him a DDT. All-American III quickly gets up to continue beating on Vitamin X. Then… *POW!* Cuban Wall NAILS All-American Boy III with a big boot! CABOOSE Aw yeah! That’s how you do it! The crowd loudly boos Cuban Wall. He stops to pose, and then picks up AAB III. He punches AAB III in the face, but then AAB II enters the ring to stop Cuban Wall’s attack on his partner. All-American Boy II beats on Cuban Wall while referee Nick Soapdish tries to get Wall and AAB II out of the ring. Vitamin X and AAB III get up, and they too, begin slugging it out. The All-American Boys brawl with the 2 members of The Lightning Crew in the center of the ring. Referee Nick Soapdish tries to get Wall and AAB II back to their corners, but after several unsuccessful tries, yells out “THAT’S IT! RING THE BELL!” *DING DING DING* (6:08) COACH UGH! What a jiff! The crowd boos the decision, but the two teams do not care, and continue fighting. COLE The All-American Boys and Cuban Wall and Vitamin X are really getting into it! They probably haven’t heard the bell! MICHAEL BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, the referee has ruled this match…a DOUBLE DISQUALIFICATION! The crowd boos. Referee Nick Soapdish tries to separate the two teams, but Cuban Wall shoves him aside. The two teams continue brawling. Suddenly, the crowd turns it’s attention towards the entrance, where “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican, dressed in a white Lightning Crew t-shirt, black elbowpads, a gold chain, a Puerto Rico flag bandana, black sweatpants, and black boots, enters the ring. He clotheslines All-American Boy III to the mat, and proceeds to kick him again and again. COLE Damnit! Tha Puerto Rican is out here! CABOOSE Hey, what’s the problem? The match is over. He’s just helping his buddies kick the asses of The All-American Boys, HA! HA! The crowd chants “P.R. SUCKS!” at The Corporate Champ, but he does not pay attention. Instead, he, Wall, and X do a beatdown on The All-American Boys. PRL takes off his bandana, and chokes AAB III with it. COLE Will somebody please stop this? Come on! The Lightning Crew are once again running roughshod over their opponents! PRL puts All-American Boy II in a facelock, and then gives him the Corporate Nightmare. Cuban Wall bounces off the ropes, and hits All-American Boy III with The Lightning Crew Splash. Vitamin X applies the Lethal Injection on All-American Boy III. The Lightning Crew poses in the ring, standing victorious over The All-American Boys. COLE That cowardly PRL! He screwed John Brickston out of the 24/7 Title last Sunday at Living Anglelously, and now this! COACH As long as Tha Puerto Rican has The Lightning Crew watching his back, he has no reason to worry about someone taking the 24/7 Championship. CABOOSE I’m offended by that remark. PRL doesn’t need The Lightning Crew to help him. He can defend the 24/7 Title by himself! No need for The LC! Cuban Wall points to All-American Boy III, and gestures to the crowd that he is going to take his mask off. P.R. approves, ordering for the mask to be taken off. The crowd continues chanting “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” but PRL gives them the “Up Yours!” gesture. Wall grabs AAB III and points to his mask. COLE Now he’s going to humiliate him, as if beating him down wasn’t bad enough! CABOOSE Oh, I’m excited about this! Now, I can finally see what All-American Boy III looks like! I want to see what he’s hiding! Cuban Wall starts untying the strings from behind AAB III’s mask, with AAB II locked in the Lethal Injection, and, therefore, powerless to stop it. But before Cuban Wall can actually unmask AAB III, JOHN “ROCK HARD” BRICKSTON runs down the ramp into the ring. COLE John Brickston is in the building! And he’s come for Tha Puerto Rican! CABOOSE Well, duh. Cuban Wall stops untying AAB III’s mask, and Vitamin X lets go of AAB II. “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican, Cuban Wall, and Vitamin X stand in the ring, with terrified looks on their faces. John “Rock Hard” Brickston removes his shirt, and dares the three of them to attack him. Instead, The Lightning Crew members zoom out of the ring and head up the ramp. Stephen Joseph Popick and Mr. Boricua join the three on the ramp. COACH I can’t imagine how pissed John Brickston must be after what happened at Living Anglelously! He must be filled with rage! COLE And look at PRL! Leaving the ring as soon as Brickston entered! He’s afraid to face him! CABOOSE Oh, that’s a bunch of bullcrap! PRL is not an idiot. He knows that he is not prepared to fight Brickston right now. Look at him. He’s wearing his warmup gear! When Tha Puerto Rican is ready to fight Brickston, he will. But right now, he took the sensible approach, and vamanos out of the ring before a match could take place! John “Rock Hard” Brickston checks on The All-American Boys. PRL, Popick, Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, and Vitamin X trashtalk Brickston from up the ramp. “Godman Syngman” by Quarashi begins playing as the crowd cheers. The All-American Boys slowly get up, while Brickston makes threats directed at PRL. COLE This match may have ended in a double disqualification, but something tells me that this issue between The All-American Boys and The Lightning Crew isn’t over yet. COACH Not to mention the rivalry between PRL and John Brickston. COLE Indeed, after what happened at Living Anglelously, I believe that John “Rock Hard” Brickston deserves a rematch. CABOOSE Because he cheated at LA? You think just because he cheated in his match against PRL at Living Anglelously, that he deserves a rematch for the 24/7 Title? COLE For the last time, he did not cheat! PRL planted the brass knuckles! Brickston made P.R. tap out to the anklelock, and would have walked out of the Staples Center as 24/7 Champion if it weren’t for PRL and Popick! CABOOSE You see it one way, the wrong way, and I see it one way, the right way. COLE Well fans, we still have more HeldDOWN~! to come. We’ll be right back in just a few minutes with more hot OAOAST action! The segment ends with John “Rock Hard” Brickston and The All-American Boys standing in the ring jawing with "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican, Stephen Joseph Popick, Mr. Boricua, Cuban Wall, and Vitamin X, with “Godman Syngman” by Quarashi still playing. *commercials*

Michael Cole, The Coach and Caboose seated at SOFA CENTRAL~! COLE Fans, as you witnessed live on pay-per-view at Living Angleously, we have new OAOAST World Tag Team Champions. James E. Cornette's New New Midnight Express defeated Chicks Over Dicks to capture their second OAOAST Tag Team Title. Let's revisit the closing moments of that match. This Past Sunday Living Angleously Courtesy: OAOAST Home Entertainment ...Ned...starts to shoot hard elbows rapid fire into Kris’ stomach. Unable to defend against them, Krista’s 3/4 facelock is shattered! Her footing on the ropes becomes tenuous at best and it appears to the alarmed crowd she might plummet to the paper thin outside mats. But Ned, wearing the crimson mask, keeps her upright and pulls her onto a fireman’s carry position. Seething with fury, Ned stands up with Krista situated on his broad shoulders. “BOOOOOOO!” COLE No! No! He won’t! That’s your baby’s mama! Stunning the thousands in the arena and millions watching on television at home, Ned jumps off the top rope. In mid flight he releases Krista’s legs and throws them infront of her body. He moves her head into a front facelock as they fall to the mat and her head is driven with repulsing but effective force into the canvas! COACH Fireman’s carry ddt! JIMMY BAUER DANGER-RUSSSSSSS! The audience has no clue as of what to make of this sudden and unexpected reversal of fortune. They scream as loud as humanly possible, urging their fallen heroine to rise to her feet and slay the traitorous villain. Ned, assaulted by a fiendish headache, spits out a tooth loosened from the double stomp Krista levied against him. He takes a deep breath, then exerts the last of his strength by pinning Krista. 1 “KRISTA! KRISTA!” 2 “KRISTA! KRISTA!” 3!!!!! *DING DING DING* “BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT!” “YES! YES! YES!” hollers a jubilant Jim Cornette who’s jumping up and down like he equates winning the tag team titles with winning a two hundred five million dollar lottery. BUFFER Your winners and new tag team champions......THE MIDNIGHT EXPRESS! Dejected over the heart breaking knowledge that they’ve just competed in their last tag title match for some time, Alix and Krista hop over the barricade and exit slowly through the stands. They’re consoled by the groups of fans they pass, as they journey up the stairs and out of view of the cameras. COLE Since then we have not seen or heard from C.O.D. since then. Lots of speculation online that suggests they are no longer involved in the OAOAST. We can confirm they are indeed still under contract, but it--it may be a while before we see Krista and Alix back in a OAOAST ring, if ever again. CABOOSE Good riddance. These girls didn't have the passion for professional wrestling. Much like the Heavenly Rockers and Holly-Wood, Alix and Krista used the OAOAST to further their careers. What Krista should be doing is standing in the kitchen wearing an apron and cooking for her man Ned Blanchard. My vote for Father of the Year. COLE Oh, shut up! Tony Schiavone is backstage with the new OAOAST World Tag-- W-Wait a minute. (holds left ear set) I'm--I'm being told something has happened in the back. I don't know what, but it apparently involves... We're dispatching a camera backstage. I'm being told different things through my headset. Do you guys know what's-- CABOOSE No. I'm hearing the same thing you are. COACH Same here. COLE I understand we have a camera in position. Let's--Let's go backstage right now. CUT TO: CORRIDOR Chaos. OAOAST agents/officials and EMTs are scrambling in the back, as is our cameraman. A group of EMTs attending to the victims prevent us from seeing who's down, all we can see is a pair of BLOODY SKATES nearby. The camera is lifted overhead and we see MARVIN & MELVIN NERDLY -- the Sk8ter Boiz -- slumped against the wall, out cold, their white Family Guy t-shirts and faces covered in blood. CUT TO: INTERVIEW POSITION A confused look on his face Tony Schiavone stands alone. Seconds later, Jim Cornette and the New New Midnight Express enter. Smiles on their faces. The tag titles draped over Cornette's shoulders, a rose-shaped tennis racket in his hand. The Midnights are in t-shirts and jeans, Ned sporting a sleeveless shirt. Both Simon and Ned favoring their right hands -- blood on their knuckles. Schiavone's eyes open wide. He now knows why his guests were late. He scowls. CORNETTE Now you just hold on right there, Tony Schiavone. I see the look on your face, brother, and before you go around making accusations about my men, let me give you our side of the story -- the true story. Contrary to popular belief, the New New Midnight Express have a great sense of humor. Sure Ned was upset his private property was stolen and turned into an amateur film by the Sk8ter Boiz without the expressed written consent of Ned Blanchard and Jim Cornette Enterprises. We coulda sued but we genuinely thought "Weekend at Neddy's" was funny. So we got together and decided to give the Sk8ter Boiz our review personally. That's when the trouble started. We go up to them and they immediately begin cursing and threatening us. All we wanted to do is tell them how much we thoroughly enjoyed the movie, but they lunged towards us and that's when Simon and Ned did the only thing they could do against a couple of obssessed fan boys -- they defended themselves. SCHIAVONE You left them in a pool of their own blood, for cryin' out loud! SIMON Yeah, but they got our review. Simon, Ned and Cornette laugh. NED That's what happens when you mess with the Ned man, Tony S. I'm about as laid back as anybody, but when you piss me off...well, you piss me off. And I don't like being pissed off. It kills the mood. SCHIAVONE What about the shocking turn of events this past Sunday night, when the New New Midnight Express stunned the wrestling world by defeating one of the most beloved Tag Team Champions in OAOAST history Chicks Over Dicks. It was a match with heavy emotions, as Krista was pinned by the father of her child in front of a worldwide pay-per-view audience. NED Wasn't it great Tony? Wasn't it great seeing me slap that Liberal Ann Coulter? Wasn't it great that after I pinned her she and her glue-sniffing hoochie left through the crowd with their heads down? I heard nobody's seen or heard from them since. SIMON They're probably working the corner somewhere. NED (scoffs) And they said I was the deadbeat parent. CORNETTE Whenever they're working, it's no longer in a OAOAST. We said we would run C.O.D. out of the OAOAST, and we did. They bled. They sweated. They're now the World Tag Team Champions. Krista, Alix, here's a special something for you. (singing) Na na na na na... SIMON Hey hey hey... NED, SIMON & CORNETTE Goodbye! SCHIAVONE (disgusted) Let's-- CORNETTE One last thing, Schiavone. I wanna send out a big congratulations on behalf of myself and the New New Midnight Express to the new X-Division Champion The 70's Dude. He's a fine young man, a happenin' young man, you can say. I love it when good things happen to good people, don't you? SCHIAVONE (sarcastically) Yeah. Now let's go back to the ring. Or somewhere. NED Victory is ours! The cameras do, indeed, cut back to the ring. CABOOSE Gotta love the new tag champs! COLE Maybe you do. CABOOSE Aww, Mikey. Loosen up. *focus shifts directly to the ring and Gary Cappetta stands there with microphone in hand.* Cappetta: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Standing to my left and making his way from Sudbury, Ontario he is Mike Hunt! *Hunt walks forward and raises his arms in the air before slapping himself on the chest* Cappetta: And his opponent… *the house lights slowly go down as the heavy bass riffs of Satellite fill the arena causing the fans to get to their feet.* Cole: The fans seem pumped about this one. Coach: We saw The Superstar in the Joy of X match at Anglemania but this will be his first match on HeldDown in well over a year. *strobe lights cover the fans in attendance and gold flames shoot into the air near the entranceway. As the smoke clears The Superstar James Allen is standing there posing as if he’s firing off a machine gun before he points out to the fans that cheer his return.* Caboose: Well its time to see if Hollywood’s new poster boy remembers his roots. I tell you, Mike Hunt has a better chance of ruining The Superstar’s return then most people will give him. Cappetta: making his way to the ring, he hails from Tucson, Arizona…he is The Superstar…James Allen! *Allen walks down to the ring calmly, just soaking in the moment. As he reaches the ring he takes out an 8x10 photo of himself and signs it for a 16-year-old girl obviously going through growing pains in the front row. The girl nearly passes out before Allen turns his attention to the ring and climbs in. James turns his back on Hunt and poses once again for the screaming fans and Hunt sees his opportunity. Hunt walks over and grabs Allen by the shoulder to turn him around before laying in a couple of over-hand rights causing referee Tim White to signal for the opening bell.* Cole: We’re under way and Hunt didn’t seem too pleased to be in the background of Allen’s return party. *Hunt goes to irish-whip Allen but Allen reverses. Hunt bounces off the ropes and James lowers his head to set up a back body drop but lowers too soon allowing Hunt to catch him with a swinging neck breaker instead.* Caboose: See? The Superstar’s timing is off and he’s clearly rusty. Hunt is going to make him think twice about this return. *Hunt does his own version of Allen’s pose from earlier and then waves it off as nothing. He turns his attention back to The Superstar and drops to his knees to apply a side head-lock.* Coach: Obviously this isn’t going the way Supes would have liked it to. *the fans start a Superstar chant and Allen begins to show signs of life and starts to force himself and Hunt to their feet. Hunt tries to lock the hold on tighter but Allen begins to send his elbow into Hunt’s abdomen, and again, and once more to break the hold. Allen runs to the ropes and bounces off. He reaches Hunt and nails a shoulder block but Allen ends up being the one to go down from the force as Hunt stands there. Seeing The Superstar down Hunt decides to back-up and bounce himself off the ropes. The Superstar gets back to his feet and instinctively leapfrogs over Hunt as he charges. Hunt bounces off the far side and as he once again gets to Allen he’s hit with a back elbow to the chin that sends him down. The fans cheer as its apparent The Superstar is starting to get back into the flow of things.* Cole: Listen to these fans Caboose! *The Superstar lays in a couple kicks to the side of Hunt’s head and brings him to his feet. Allen locks his arms around Hunt’s waist and lifts him over for a gutwrench suplex, then floats over for the count.* 1 2 kickout *Allen turns his attention to the ref and claps thrice to indicate it should have been a three-count. Allen brings Hunt back to his feet again and goes to irish-whip him but once again Hunt reverses and sends Supes off the ropes. Allen bounces off and Hunt catches him with a tilt-a-whirl into a pile-driver position, but Allen is able to wriggle enough to cause Hunt to fold backwards reversing the positions of both men so its now Hunt in the pile-driver position.* Cole: This could be it! *Supes jumps up with Hunt still in his arms and is able to spin 180 degrees with him before planting Hunt on his head with the Star Power. Hunt lays motionless except for the occasional twitch and Allen covers.* 1 2 3! *The bell sounds and Satellite hits up once more allowing The Superstar to pose for the fans again after his victory.* Coach: Well Boose’, seems Supes comeback tonight was a success. We’ll see if Alfdogg can make it 2-2 in that department later tonight. Caboose: Alfdogg can’t even successfully open a bag of Doritos on his own. Cole: Harsh!

Yeah, with your @#$%~! Have fun, Preppy.

Awesome.

COMPLETELY AUTHENTIC!!!!!!!! You shut your fucking mouth.

Ah-HA. Gotcha. Wait, who WAS the bottom three? Or, were...well whatever.

But wait, Mik, your earlier post confuses me. Top four...but aren't there 5 left? Bo, Carrie, Vonzell, Scott, and Anthony?

So wait, who got sent home, then? Constantine?

"They" will take that under advisement.

I'm REALLY curious to see how they work the tunic in. That could, in part, make or break the game.

He was so great. If I ever go bat-shit loony and become a genocidal dictator, Kefka will be my model. That punk Leo had NO IDEA what he was getting his buzzcut ass into.

Crono's refusal to coexist with the new breed of RPGs is a tremendous allegory for society as a whole. The world changes, and those who don't like it won't let go. I say we ban him. Seriously, stud, just go get a Super NES (yeah~!) and try to understand you'll have to be content with ONE library full of great RPGs. That's what I've never understood about this line of thinking -- it's not like they're taking your old games away. As for new stuff, you're just gonna have to deal.

I thought he aged throughout?

Supposedly. I gotta say, I really like those Zelda and Link designs.

Muggy should hit up Crono's new board. As for prophecies, for every one that hits, ten miss, and so I can't put too much stock into them.

I've played a little Wind Waker and found it decent, I just wasn't a fan of the graphical style. For some reason, I haven't gotten into any of the past TWO generations of Zelda games (Ocarina, Majora's Mask, Wind Waker, Four Sword) despite hearing good things. Even sadder is that I own the Zelda bonus disk for GC. Hopefully I can turn things around with the new one, and maybe pick up Minish Cap as well, since I love by little SP like a child.

Assuming Mik is correct with his facts, he has already answered your question.