COLE
Main event time!
COACH
Who'd have thought Thomas Rodriguez would be main eventing anything?
COLE
Not me!
CABOOSE
Not the bookers, that's for sure.
COACH
Probably not even Thomas Rodriguez!
COLE
But he is!
Ominous music plays, and the lights lower. The Steel Cage slowly lowers down to the ring. The crowd pops, knowing what’s coming up next. Chants of “PAN-THER! PAN-THER!” are heard.
COLE
Well fans, this is not “Rage In The Cage”, but this is a Cage Match that is coming up next. Panther, who will take on Tha Puerto Rican in a Steel Cage this Sunday at AngleMania, is going to fight in another Steel Cage Match tonight against an unlikely opponent, Thomas Rodriguez, The Lightning Crew referee.
COACH
PRL surprised all of us, especially Thomas Rodriguez himself, when he announced this match. But I guess he wants to tire Panther out before their match this Sunday.
CABOOSE
Like I said, before. Genius plan from Tha Puerto Rican. He certainly knows how to prepare for a match of this magnitude like “Rage In The Cage” this Sunday.
COACH
By having his opponent fight in a Steel Cage Match 3 days before he has to fight in ANOTHER Steel Cage Match?
CABOOSE
Exactly. Give himself the advantage heading into AngleMania. It’s genius, I tell you! Genius, and I should know!
A deep, slowed voiced man yells out “LIGHTNING CREW!” The crowd stands up, and begins their usual routine of booing The Lightning Crew. The opening chords of “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Boyds begin playing, while smoke fills the entranceway. The crowd eagerly awaits the arrival of Thomas Rodriguez. A lightning bolt hits the entrance, and “No Chance In Hell” begins playing.
*No Chance (No Chance)
That’s what ya got (Ha, Ha, Yeah)
We’re up against a machine too strong
Pussy politicians buying souls for us are…PUPPETS! (Puppets)*
After a few seconds, the doors slide open, and Thomas Rodriguez appears. He is shaky and sweating up a storm. He steps out through the smoke, and looks at the fans. He takes a big gulp, and slowly, walks to the ring while muttering to himself “I’m going to die. I’m going to die.”
*DING DING DING*
MICHAEL BUFFER
Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and is a STEEL CAGE MATCH! Introducing first, coming down the ramp, weighing in at 144 lbs. Originally from Burbank, California, but now residing in San Juan, Puerto Rico; He is the Official Referee of The Lightning Crew: THOMAS ROOODDDDDDDDDDRIGGGUUUEZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!
Thomas Rodriguez continues his walk to the ring, but stops at the cage.
COLE
This match is arguably the biggest mismatch in OAOAST history. Thomas Rodriguez, a 5’1 144 lb referee, is about to compete in a Steel Cage Match against the 5’11” 197 lb Panther! In every category: wrestling ability, ring experience, height, weight, muscle, Thomas is outmatched by Panther. So the question still remains: Why would Tha Puerto Rican put him in a match against Panther?
CABOOSE
Like I said before, it’s an attempt to tire Panther before his and Tha Puerto Rican’s Steel Cage Match this Sunday at AngleMania IV. That way Panther isn’t 100%. It’s a great idea, corporately executed by Tha Puerto Rican!
COACH
WOULD YOU STOP SAYING “CORPORATE”!
CABOOSE
Nope!
Referee Nick Soapdish orders Thomas to enter the ring, but Thomas is very hesitant. Finally, after a good 2 minutes, Rodriguez enters the ring. He looks at the cage structure, which causes him to faint. He wakes up quickly, but still lies on the mat in a fetal position, shaking. Soapdish picks him up. Rodriguez rests on a turnbuckle, and prays for his health as “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Boyds dies down. The lights go back in the arena, while the fans patiently await “The Champion Of Champions”.
"Roc U" by the Young Gunz and Beanie Sigel kicks in over the PA system and the video feed suddenly cuts out to a black and red radar screen, at the center of which, a glowing red panther's head appears after each sonar revolution. After the seventh revolution, the radar fades away, leaving just the glowing Panther's head. All at once, the head zooms forward, and…
BOOOOOOOOOOOOM~!
…we're taken back out to the darkened arena, which is rocked by a HUUUUUUUUUUGE pyro blast. A thick cloud of smoke forms at the entrance, the entrance doors open, and a bright white spotlight emits from the locker room, highlighting Panther's silhouette. The light steadily gets brighter as the cymbals begin to clash in the background, each clash accompanied by a bright red spotlight that highlights a portion of the entrance set. Finally, at approximately the 23-second mark, the white light begins to flicker and suddenly disappears as the flashing red spotlights converge on the entrance and Panther steps through the smoke. He heads out to the edge of the stage, taking a moment to take in the crowd's reaction. Then, he slowly raises his arms into the air, holding them high above his head momentarily before snapping them down by his side, at which point the red lights disperse about the arena and he starts down the ramp to the ring.
COLE
You can bet Panther is looking forward to this match!
BUFFER
And his opponent, coming down the ramp, weighing in at 197 lbs. From Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. He is the self-proclaimed “Champ Of Champs”, He…is…. PAAAAANNNNNTTTTHHHHEEERRRRRR!!!
COLE
Folks, let us take you back to last week’s HeldDOWN~!, where Panther took on Vitamin X in an one-on-one contest, with Thomas Rodriguez being the referee. There was skepticism as to whether Thomas Rodriguez would be an impartial and fair referee, but as we would soon find out, if you are apart of The Lightning Crew, you are only fair to The Lightning Crew.
The HeldDOWN~! logo flashes by on the screen. Footage marked LAST WEEK appears on screen. Clips from the Panther/Vitamin X match are shown. The Lethal Injection is shown. Panther reaches out and grabs the ropes, but Thomas Rodriguez kicks Panther’s right hand off the bottom rope. Vitamin X rolls Panther up, and Rodriguez does a fast count, giving Vitamin X the win. Cut to Vitamin X and Thomas Rodriguez embracing, and laughing in Panther’s face. Panther chases after the two of them, but X and Thomas run out of the ring, up the ramp. The footage ends with Thomas and Vitamin X laughing, and Panther fuming WITH ANGER~!. The HeldDOWN~! logo flashes by on the screen.
COLE
Panther dominated Vitamin X the whole match, but when Vitamin X captured Panther in the Lethal Injection, Thomas’ allegiance was shown. Panther grabbed the bottom rope, which would normally mean that X had to let go of his submission hold. However, Rodriguez kicked Panther’s hand off the bottom rope. Seconds later, Vitamin X rolled Panther up, and Thomas did a fast count, giving Vitamin X the win. Thomas and Vitamin X screwed Panther last week!
CABOOSE
Hey, all is fair in love and war. You do what you gotta do to win. That’s just the way it is.
COACH
That’s just the way it is. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dah. Things will never be the same. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun---OW!
Caboose slaps Coach in the back of the head.
CABOOSE
Stop it.
Panther enters the Steel Cage. Thomas watches Panther with a look of fear on his face. The flashing red and white spotlights return as Panther climbs the ropes and begins to play to the crowd.
COLE
The rules for this match are just like the rules for the Cage Match this Sunday: Pinfalls and submissions count, but you can only win the match by going over the top of the cage to the floor, OR, by exiting through the cage, through the door, with both feet touching the floor.
COACH
I bet Panther can’t wait to get his hands around Thomas Rodriguez’s scrawny throat.
COLE
And I bet Thomas is praying that he survives this match.
Referee Nick Soapdish checks both Panther and Thomas Rodriguez. Thomas is wearing a blue tanktop to show off his (lack of) muscle, long blue tights with PUERTO down the left leg in white blocky letters, RICO down the right leg in white blocky letters, blue elbow pads, blue wristbands, and blue boots. Rodriguez tries some last minute negations to get out of the match, but Nick Soapdish doesn’t pay attention. He calls for the bell.
*DING DING DING*
STEEL CAGE MATCH: PANTHER VS. THOMAS RODRIGUEZ
As soon as the bell rings, Thomas climbs the cage. Panther prevents Thomas from climbing out by grabbing the straps on his tanktop and pulling him down to the mat. Panther punches Thomas repeatedly in the face with the hot crowd cheering him on. Panther follows the punching by slamming Thomas’ head onto the mat several times.
COLE
And Panther is on fire as we start the match!
CABOOSE
Hold on, Thomas is just warming up. Wait until 14-15 minutes into this match, AND THEN Thomas shall be a force to be reckon with.
COACH
I don’t think this match will last 14-15 minutes. It might not even last 4-5 minutes if Panther continues to have his way.
Panther picks the already dazed Thomas off the mat, and punches him back down. Thomas gets up again, so Panther socks him in the face once more. Rodriguez goes to climb the cage once again, but Panther stops him before he can even begin his climb by giving Thomas a back suplex. Panther goes for the pin, but gets a two count. Rodriguez is back up, but so is Panther, and Panther proceeds to give Thomas several more shots to the head to the crowd’s delight. Panther whips Thomas into the ropes, and gives him a running front elbow. Thomas goes right back to the kicking, and then proceeds to choke Thomas.
COLE
Panther is just laying into Thomas, for what he did to him last week, screwing him out of a win against Vitamin X!
COACH
This isn’t just for Panther. This is for all the wrestlers Thomas has messed with. This is for all the biased officiating Thomas has done in his time with the OAOAST.
CABOOSE
Oh will you stop bitching about that!
Panther grabs Thomas and whips him into a turnbuckle. Thomas hits the turnbuckle hard and falls to the mat. Panther picks him up and whips him into another turnbuckle, and Thomas hits it back first. Panther isn’t done yet, whipping Rodriguez into the third turnbuckle, and then into the fourth one.
COLE
Panther is just having his way here with Thomas. I don’t think he’s gotten a single move on Panther this entire match!
Thomas walks right into a dragon suplex by Panther. Panther goes for the cover. 1…2…Thomas kicks out. The crowd chants “PAN-THER! PAN-THER! PAN-THER! PAN-THER!” Thomas Rodriguez gets on his knees and begs Panther not to hurt him. The crowd boos that, and then tells Panther to kick his ass.
“FUCK HIM UP PAN-THER! FUCK HIM UP! *CLAP CLAP* FUCK HIM UP PAN-THER! FUCK HIM UP! *CLAP CLAP* FUCK HIM UP PAN-THER! FUCK HIM UP! *CLAP CLAP* FUCK HIM UP PANTHER! FUCK HIM UP! *CLAP CLAP*”
Panther looks at the crowd, and flashes a cocky smirk. The crowd pops. Panther snaps his fist and walks towards Thomas. Thomas begs off the attack, but then out of nowhere, low blows Panther.
CABOOSE
You see! I told you! I told you he would come back! I told you he would! Caboose: 1, Other guys: 0.
Thomas Rodriguez takes advantage of the low blow, and punches Panther in the face. The punch hurts Thomas more than it hurts Panther, but Thomas does it again anyway. Thomas kicks Panther in his knees, and then does the CLUBBERING, THEY BE CLUBBERING~! forearms. Thomas applies a facelock on Panther, and then goes for a DDT, but Panther escapes, and Thomas falls to the mat. Thomas gets up, but Panther punches him in the face several times, and whips him—NO!—Thomas reverses, and actually gives Panther a clothesline. Thomas drops an elbow, and then goes for the cover.
1…
KICK OUT.
Thomas kicks Panther down to the mat. He picks Panther up and whips him into a turnbuckle. Thomas yells out a war cry for some reason, and then charges towards Panther, but Panther moves out of the way, and Thomas hits the turnbuckle, chest first. Panther gains the advantage, doing a T-Bone Suplex onto Thomas. Panther seats Thomas on the mat, and then rushes to the ropes, and gives him the Frontline. Panther picks Thomas up, and whips him into the ropes, giving him The Deep End (Samoan Driver) and covering him.
1…
2…
KICK OUT!
COLE
And Panther was only seconds away from ending this match!
COACH
Thomas should just let Panther climb out of the cage so that he can stop this beating he is receiving!
CABOOSE
That will never happen, because Thomas Rodriguez is not a quitter. He is a fighter. He is a warrior!
COACH
Doesn’t look like much of a warrior right now.
CABOOSE
Shut up.
Panther stops to pose, and the crowd cheers. Panther drops some knees onto Thomas’ back, and then begins to climb the cage.
COLE
And now Panther is ready to finish this match!
However, Thomas uses all the energy he has left to grab Panther and bring him off the cage. Thomas then rushes towards a turnbuckle, and uses one as a launch pad onto the cage, and begins his climb over the top.
CABOOSE
COME ON THOMAS! WIN ONE FOR THA PUERTO RICAN!
Thomas is slowly climbing the cage. The crowd is going nuts, but before Thomas is even close to the top, Panther punches Thomas in the back several times, to stop the climb.
CABOOSE
DAMN YOU PANTHER!
Thomas sits on the top rope. Panther puts Thomas in a facelock, and then puts Thomas’ right arm over his head. Panther grabs Thomas’ right leg, and leaps off the top rope, hitting the Pantherplex to a loud pop.
COLE
What a move from Panther! The Pantherplex took the wind out of Thomas Rodriguez!
Panther slowly gets up, and then picks him up. He gives Thomas an Atomic Drop, and then smiles. Thomas has a scared look on his face. PANTHER CUTTER! The cover.
1…
2…
KICK OUT!
CABOOSE
Whew.
Panther is frustrated, but he still remains calm. Panther kicks Thomas several times and then picks him up, whipping him into the ropes. Thomas goes for a clothesline, but Panther ducks, and gives Thomas a German Suplex. Panther stands up and looks at the crowd.
COACH
HE’S FIRED UP, DAMN IT!
Panther waits for Thomas to get up. When he does, Panther grabs him, and gives him a second German Suplex. Panther pops back up, and waits for Thomas to get up. He does, and Panther gives him a third German Suplex. Panther gets back up, and plays to the crowd, getting them hyped up. Panther yells at Rodriguez, waiting for him to get up. Rodriguez slowly gets up, getting on one knee.
COLE
And now Panther is going in for the kill!
Thomas is now up. He turns around, and gets a soccer-like kick to the gonads. The crowd feels Thomas’ pain. Panther then grabs Thomas’ head, and gives him repeated kicks to the no-no place. The crowd counts along.
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20!
CABOOSE
Hey, he’s cheating! Panther is cheating!
COLE
There are no rules in a Steel Cage Match! The only rules are that you win by either pinfall, submission, climbing over the cage, or through the door!
COACH
Panther is trying to make sure that no little Thomas Rodriguez’s are conceived!
Thomas crumbles to the mat, but Panther picks him back up, and places him between his legs. Panther lifts him up quickly, and brings him down with DA BOMB~!.
COLE
DA BOMB~! DA BOMB~! PANTHER’S FINISHING MOVE HAS BEEN HIT! IT’S ALL OVER!
Panther points to the cage, and the crowd cheers. Panther signals that he is going to climb the cage. Panther climbs the cage, with Thomas Rodriguez down on the mat, knocked out. The crowd is cheering like crazy, but is also paying attention to the entranceway. Panther is at the top of the cage, with his right foot over the top, when he sees that Cuban Wall is outside the ring. Panther then notices that Mr. Boricua is also standing outside the ring.
COLE
Wait a minute. The Lightning Crew! The damn Lightning Crew is out here once again!
COACH
They’re trying to block Panther from exiting the Cage!
Vitamin X and Stephen Joseph Popick are at ringside also. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican soon appear at ringside also, laughing evilly. Panther is holding onto the cage, refusing to climb back into the ring, despite The Lightning Crew’s threats. The crowd boos loudly and chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” PRL dares Panther to leave the cage. PRL, Stephen Popick, Mr. Boricua, Vitamin X, and Cuban Wall all stand outside the ring daring Panther to climb out.
COLE
Panther is outnumbered here! If he climbs out, he’s going to have to deal with all 6 members of The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick!
COACH
Well Popick isn't much of a threat, but Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall are powerful enough on their own, let alone together!
Panther jaws with Tha Puerto Rican, not noticing that Mr. Boricua ripping the cage door off the cage. The 7-foot monster rips the door off, and PRL, Popick, Wall, and X rush into the ring. Panther tries to climb out, but PRL grabs him and brings him back into the ring. PRL beats on Panther along the way.
COLE
DAMNIT! Panther had this match won, but The Lightning Crew has interfered!
CABOOSE
Hey, PRL wants to make sure Panther isn’t 100% at AngleMania, this is a genius way to do it! Genius, PRL! Genius!
The Lightning Crew beat on Panther in the middle of the ring, while Thomas Rodriguez is still knocked out. The crowd chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” The Lightning Crew beat Panther down to the mat.
CABOOSE
Well Panther, you want to fight Tha Puerto Rican, you have to fight The Lightning Crew. They ride together. They die together.
COACH
CUZ THEY’RE BAD BOYS FOR LIFE!
*SLAP*
COACH
Ow.
Suddenly, Panther gets a burst of energy and beats on The Lightning Crew. The LC keeps fighting back, but Panther keeps beating on them. Panther leaps up and gives Mr. Boricua the PANTHER CUTTER! Panther Cutter for Cuban Wall! Panther Cutter for Vitamin X! Panther Cutter for Popick! The Lightning Crew are all lay out in the ring, except for Tha Puerto Rican, and Miss Lindsay Gonzalez who is on the outside. PRL looks at his fallen LC members, and then at Panther, who is PISSED OFF~! The crowd cheers even louder, awaiting the inevitable PR/Panther confrontation.
COLE
Panther has decimimated The Lightning Crew! Tha Puerto Rican is the last one standing in the ring! It’s just Tha Puerto Rican and Panther!
COACH
We might get “Rage In The Cage” three days early!
Tha Puerto Rican and Panther engage in a staredown while the crowd goes wild. Both men are furious, and are ready to explode. Finally, PR goes for a punch, but Panther blocks, and gives a punch of his own. A slugfest erupts between Panther and Tha Puerto Rican. Panther gains the edge. More punches follow, and Tha Puerto Rican is left in a daze. Panther goes for the Panther Cutter, but PRL escapes, and exits the cage. Panther exits the cage also. Nick Soapdish calls for the bell.
*DING DING DING* (8:56)
COLE
I don’t think Panther realizes he just won the match! He just wants to get Tha Puerto Rican!
BUFFER
Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of the Cage Match…. PAAAAANNNNTTTHHHEEERRRRR!!!
Panther doesn’t notice the announcement, instead chasing PRL up the ramp. The Lightning Crew and Popick are still knocked out in the ring. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez goes to check on The LC members while the cage rises. “Roc U” begins playing while the crowd cheers. The camera cuts to the parking lot. Tha Puerto Rican is still running away from Panther. He hops into his low-rider, The Lightning Crew Mobile, and starts the car, driving away. Panther arrives in the parking lot just as PRL drives away. Panther stands in the parking lot pissed off.
COLE
That coward! He ran away!
CABOOSE
Well, he drove away, actually.
COLE
Either way, Tha Puerto Rican left the arena because he knows what’s going to happen to him should he and Panther be in the same ring at the same time!
CABOOSE
He didn’t run away. He’s just conserving his energy for this Sunday! He’s going to need 100% of his energy for “Rage In The Cage”. You think he was going to fight tonight, when one of the biggest matches of his life is only 72 hours away. You must be crazy!
Panther is still in the parking lot. He speaks: “Sunday. This Sunday. I’m going to get you this Sunday!”
COLE
You hear that? PRL may have ran away tonight, but he’ll have nowhere to run this Sunday at AngleMania IV, when he and Panther are locked in the Steel Cage!
COACH
I bet Panther is looking forward to this match more than Tha Puerto Rican or any of us are.
CABOOSE
Panther has no idea what he is getting into this Sunday. He thought PRL was dangerous at the Lethal Rumble, and at Zero Hour, he has no idea how dangerous he can get, especially in a Steel Cage Match!
COACH
I don’t think this is even about the Lethal Rumble anymore. This feud is personal. This feud is a bitter war between two men to decide just who is better. They HATE each other. That’s pretty much why they’re fighting this Sunday.
COLE
No doubt there is no love lost between Tha Puerto Rican and Panther, and this Sunday, they will clash in a 16 feet high, 20 feet wide Steel Cage.
CABOOSE
AngleMania IV will go down as one of the best nights in the history of the OAOAST, and the Cage Match will be one of the reasons why. I just can’t wait to see Tha Puerto Rican beat the hell out of Panther. This is going to be AWESOME!
COLE
“Rage In The Cage: PR/Panther II”. It’s going to happen, and it’s going to happen this Sunday at AngleMania IV: The Classiest AngleMania Ever! Folks, we'll see you there! For The Coach and Caboose, I'm Michael Cole! Good night!!
*FADE TO BLACK*