Sonic Reducer

I dunno. There are times when I see that spark flare up and he becomes the RVD we all loved in ECW and kicks some major ass. He just needs to be pushed up to the main event.

I'd personally want to see Bret there in some fashion. Maybe a guest referee.

Papa Roach also did a pretty bad cover of Lithium at that New Years Eve Bash thing.

http://veepers.hanes.com/service/RetrieveC...B1-93801D9ED7CE

IGN Sports: How much crazy stuff like that happens on the road? Jake Roberts: Every moment is an experience. You don't put 20-30 men in a building, in dressing rooms, where it doesn't matter how great you are, what matters is who has their nose the furthest up Vince's ass. That's what made me so sick about that kiss my ass thing they did. It was the damn truth. The biggest thing that has happened, besides this video game, of course, is when the World Wildlife Fund made Vince change the name to WWE. Worst Wrestling Ever. At least now they're telling the truth. Forget that, though, let's talk about this game. It blows me away that Dory Funk Jr. is in the game. He used to be my tag team partner. How many people know that? I try to forget it. Ricky Steamboat to me was probably the greatest man I ever met in this business, besides Andre The Giant, but Steamboat was much more of a gentleman than Andre. Andre was very callous, very brutal at times. There's nobody at this game that can beat me. IGN Sports: The game has a tutorial by Bret Hart so that I can create a character and learn to beat you. Jake Roberts: Ooh, a tutorial by Bret Hart. That's lovely. I used to be his roommate. What a sick world. IGN Sports: Say I'm playing as Bret, what maneuver can he teach me that would help me beat you? Jake Roberts: Well, what he would really tell you, if he was honest, if it wasn't for all of these buttons and the one-button finisher they got in here and all of the gimmick matches, they have tables, ladders, cage matches, but you know what, Bret would just turn off the video game system and lie. That's what he would tell you. Lie. We were roommates for a while. I tore my knee up and my knee was packed in ice when we were living together in Calgary. At the time I was using a finisher called the sleeper, and Bret and I were studying wrestling tapes together when Stu Hart comes in and tells me he knows nine different ways to place someone in a sleeper. I told him to shut up with that bullsh!t. I told him that if my leg wasn't messed up, I'd stand up and show him something. I told him there was only one way to do the sleeper, and that was the way I did it. That just turned him psycho and he reached over and grabbed Bret and put him out. Then he proceeded to show me four more sleepers until the blood was pouring out of Bret's nose, ears, and corners of his eyes. I finally had to sucker Stu away from him before he killed the poor kid. So ask Bret what would happen if we got in the ring. He knows. IGN Sports: Is it true that you never actually trained to be a wrestler? Jake Roberts: It's true. I did it the stupid way, through trial and error. I never even wanted to be a wrestler, to tell you the truth. My father was a very large man, seven feet tall, four hundred pounds, and he wrestled. I was always scared to death I was going to lose my father, I was never around him anyway. I saw him twice a year for fifteen minutes, but it didn't matter, every child still wants that father. A child's hope is that your father comes riding in on that white stallion and saves them. You can't make somebody love you the way you want them to love you, it's not a Leave it to Beaver type world. This isn't television. Life's a lot more cruel than that. I went to visit my father to tell him that I was going to go to college and become an architect…that was my dream. I was like, yeah I graduated from school, but it's not like you showed up for that. But all he was worried about is whether or not I wanted money from him. A few nights later, between the alcohol, the ignorance, and the youth, I was at a wrestling show watching him wrestle and decided in my idiot of a brain, mixed with a little beer, that if I was to ever get my father to love me, I would have to go in there and challenge one of those wrestlers. If I was able to beat one of them up, my father would have to love me. Well, it didn't happen quite that way. I was pretty much humiliated, went back to the locker room and proceeded to piss myself, puke, and everything else. The wrestler I challenged knew who I was, but he didn't cripple me, so I'm lucky for that. He damn sure did humiliate me for fifteen minutes, stretched me every which way. I was an 18 year-old stupid kid thinking how great and beautiful I was, and he really put a number on me. I walked back to the locker room and my dad said: "You're gutless, I'm ashamed of you, and you'll never amount to anything." That's when I gave up my dream of being an architect and chased my father's dream. I'm still chasing it because I'll never hear him say the words I want to hear. But I love going out there and giving people a ride. It's the only time my body doesn't hurt. I just hope my body doesn't hurt when I'm playing this game. If it does, I'm going to sue Acclaim. I'm really looking forward to this game because it will give kids a chance to emulate a guy they really shouldn't try to copy. Jake Roberts has a hard enough time being Jake Roberts. The truth is a brutal thing, I just hope that the kids take the time to learn about each of the wrestlers in the game, and if the kids can learn from our mistakes, that would make me a happy man.

IGN Sports: How did you come up with the move in the first place? Jake Roberts: It's really kind of embarrassing, actually. I used to use a knee lift as my finisher years and years ago. There is this great, great wrestler who never really got an opportunity to be a star named Len Denton, he was a masked guy called The Grappler. He was one of my favorite guys to ever wrestle, and it was just a tremendous plessure to step in the ring with him. Anyway, we would fight and struggle for 45 minutes because Bill Watts and Junkyard Dog would wrestle the Freebirds in the main event and that would only last about two minutes, so we had to put the time in on the card. We didn't make the money, but we made the time. When we wrestled, we would fight into the corner, then I would hit him back into the middle of the ring, then he would hit me harder and harder back into the corner. Finally, about the third time I would grab him, give him the knee lift and cover him. Well, one night he went to push me back in the corner while I had him in a front face lock, but he stepped on my foot and I fell backwards. You know what, when you screw up in the ring, it's so embarrassing. But the fans don't know you screwed up unless you act like you just made a mistake. I stood up on my feet and looked down and The Grappler was knocked out cold. The people just gasped. Sometimes you think that when people are screaming, that's when they are the most excited, but that's not true. When people are silent, that's when you achieved the ultimate. That's how the DDT got started. I appreciate The Grappler very much. He's one of the greatest talents to never get discovered. IGN Sports: How does the wrestling politics work where one guy is picked to make it, while other guys never get their shot? Jake Roberts: It's the sad thing about entertainment, it's not always about who is the best. Jake The Snake had a horrible time playing politics. I never had a belt, didn't need one. They tried to put me against Hogan twice, but when the people chanted for me, when they chanted for the DDT, that was the end of that. They couldn't ruin their marketing. We shot the angle in Phoenix where I DDT'd Hogan, but they only showed it in two markets. Unfortunately it's because the man who is in power points the finger and says "You're it." With television, he has the opportunity to turn chicken sh!t into chicken soup. It isn't talent that matters, it's TV time. If I had three minutes TV time for 60 days, I could make a million bucks selling dog sh!t. This is some good stuff, best stuff you've ever had, the best sh!t from the best dogs around. Order this before midnight tonight. They sold Pet Rocks didn't they? If you could make The Ultimate Warrior as great as they did, there's your proof. IGN Sports: Actually, The Ultimate Warrior is on the cover of the new Legends of Wrestling: Showdown game that you're going to be in. Jake Roberts: Oh well, there are bad choice made every day. That doesn't make him great, that doesn't make him the best. I can prove that any time. That will be the greatest thing, the biggest thrill in my life if some kid gets so good at the game that they can actually beat me with The Ultimate Warrior in that game. That would be the most impossible thing, other than having me walk without pain. Those are the two things my character can do that I can't. But if some kid is so good, he'll have to be a brain surgeon or get a cheat sheet or something. Jake Roberts didn't go out there and play games, I played mind games. I didn't need to dive off ladders through tables. It doesn't take a great wrestler to jump off of a cage and crash through three tables, it takes a damn idiot. Today it's kind of funny how the fans applaud people for doing all of these sick, foolish things. In the street, they'd lock you in a padded room and call you a suicidal maniac. That's not a great wrestler. To me that's like using a Lex Luger move where you kill something…whether that's a clothesline or a lady. Sorry, didn't mean that, but I did too. At least I'm an honest prick. Jon, you don't know me, do you? Well, merry syphilis, happy gonorrhea. Get Bobby Heenan to talk about me, he knows me. I once watched Bobby Heenan get bitch slapped by Randy Savage for taking a piss outside the car, man, I've been there with all of them.

IGN Sports: How are you doing these days? Jake Roberts: Miserable. Miserable is a good thing, though. If you start the day miserable, nobody else can screw up your day. How are you doing? IGN Sports: I guess a lot better than you. [laughs] Actually, the first wrestling match I ever went to was at the Cow Palace, you wrestled Ricky Steamboat for about 45 minutes in the main event. Jake Roberts: Had a great time doing it. That was the beauty and the joy. So, is your bed wetting thing over with since that match, did you need therapy or what? IGN Sports: I can safely say that I'm a man with dry pants. I didn't even need therapy. Jake Roberts: I guess you saw when I dropped him on his head on Saturday Night's Main Event. You know that almost killed him? It's impossible to do the DDT on the concrete floor, and I told everybody that for two hours. The guy writing the storylines at the time was the same guy who had given Steamboat his big break in the Carolinas, so Steamboat wanted to do it for him. I told him, if I do it, it's going to kill you. He kept telling me that he'd get his hands down in time, but I knew he had no chance. We did it and it took him about two weeks for his eyes to turn black. The swelling was so bad it was like four inches out. It was so cool. [laughs] IGN Sports: How does it feel that the DDT was your finishing maneuver, but now everyone just does it as a regular move? Jake Roberts: It just goes to show you what idiots they are. I look at it like this: Every time they do it, it strikes a memory in someone's mind that Jake invented the move, and every time they do it and they don't do it as a finisher, it just shows them that Jake is so much better. When I did the move, they didn't get their asses up. What's really sad is that 99.9% don't even do the move close to right, don't care to do it right, and don't want to learn to do it right. The two people who do the move the best are Chyna and Jazz. That's two women, so that just shows you what the rest of them are. Oh, did I say that? I think it's great, it's funnier than hell.

I've found some semi-rare stuff on KaZaA of all places. A lot of AJPW stuff and a ton of NWA: TNA stuff, too.

Sting can still work a super hot match. That makes him better than 90% of the roster right there. But he, unlike Michaels or Jericho, cannot pull a great match out of Triple H at any given time. Goldberg and Steiner sure as hell couldn't do it. And Sting's getting up there in age, too. Sure, he may be able to work a hot match as far as fan reactions go, but workrate and match quality is a different story.

http://veepers.hanes.com/service/RetrieveC...AE-93801D9ED7CE

Yep. Doomsday is coming.

Not me. He wouldn't be used correctly. I can guarantee that.

If I were Vince, I'd at least listen to some of his ideas. Because me being Vince, my latest ideas pretty much suck ass.

They should wait at least another year to do it. The roster split hasn't been around long enough and it wouldn't be as special if it happened sometime soon.

custom potato salad.

One should know what they're getting themself into with a prostitute of that size. Your ass is gonna be slaughtered.

Well, it's a sketchy situation. Either you take the risk and get more exposure, thus making the buyrates higher. Or you take the risk, and get people who will just tune in to see the highlights of the PPV, and it was a waste of time and money, and you're screwed.

Nice. I'll surely be picking that Foley DVD up.

a Bret Hart DVD would definetaly be better, and cooler, since Bret has a more storied career. Owen's would sell for all the wrong reasons.

Mabel all the way.

Ha.

Nice. Foley's wife is pretty hot, too.

My first experience with wrestling was a Saturday morning in 1994. I turned on the TV, saw Bastion Booger (keep in mind, I was about 8), and wondered what the hell he was wearing that outfit for. Anyway, I was interested in seeing this big fat man hurt his littler opponent, so I tuned in every week hoping I'd see him again. Nevertheless, Bastion went away and my interest in wrestling only got bigger. Typical story.

Because Lawler at least throws in a witty comment once a month that he hasn't re-used 1,000 times since 1993. Coach just sucks.

Second best movie of the three.