Sly

Just as a note, I've changed up my stats ever-so-slightly.

Well... um... guess I go un-booked in my own home town, then.

Trees flash across the camera, zooming by at an alarming rate. Breaking the monotony, a few road signs fly by. A radio blares in the background presenting the local classic rock station for everyone to hear as it pauses for a quick station identification. "KJKZ ninety-two nine! Your home for classic rock! We're in the middle of a commercial free drive home as we near the five o'clock hour! We just heard a classic from Queen, and we're going to keep on rocking you with a classic by Styx!" "Ugh..." a voice groans over the radio. "I'm saaaailing aaawaaaaaay, Set an open course, for the viiiirgin seeeeeaaaaaa" *Click* The sound from the radio is silenced with a click on the dial. Our view out the camera rotates around to reveal the inside of a car, more than likely a rental, and the man who is driving it, Austin Sly. Gone is his normal casual attire, instead he has adorned a black suit with a white shirt and tie. He wears a slight look of disgust on his face. "I hate that song. Mrs. Young should've had an abortion." Austin pauses as if to think, "that's not fair of me... the whole lot of them should've been aborted." The look of disgust fade and a look of frustration returns to Austin's face as he looks up at the traffic in front of him. He looks from side to side searching for a route off the road. "I'm late as it is! Can't you fucks just get out of my way?" Austin reaches down and rests his hand impatiently on top of the stick shift in the middle of the car. He looks from side to side again scanning the flow of traffic. In one quick movement he shifts his car down and jolts his steering wheel to the right darting onto a side road. The car speeds along at an almost alarming pace again, blowing through the rural neighborhood. Nothing but trees and grassland surround the road as the space between us and the busy highway slowly widens. Casually, Austin reaches down and clicks the radio back on. The final notes of "Come Sail Away" drift through the air before being replaced by Foreigner's "Double Vision". He gawks at the radio, but he settles into the fact that music beats out the silence of the road. He's a only a few miles away from the church anyways... ... those miles pass quickly, and the car comes sliding to a stop on the side of the road in front of a rather large brick church. Cars line both sides of the street and fill the parking lot, this quiet country church was obviously not meant to hold such a well-attended event. Austin looks longingly into the rear-view mirror attempting to fix his hair rather quickly before opening his door and stepping out onto the street. It proves all for naught though as a gust of wind quickly rearranges his hair for him. He scurries across the street and up the steps to the church before quietly cracking the door open and sliding in un-noticed. The camera follows him in and gazes around the room taking everything in. "We are gathered here today to witness the union of Nathaniel..." Nathaniel? Union? The camera looks up to see NTD decked out in his best suit standing across from an absolutely stunning woman in a full white wedding dress. We've snuck into NTD's wedding, even though we're a little late. Austin takes a seat casually on the empty end of one of the back pews and lets out a little sigh before our camera fades... ***** We fade back in at the wedding reception that night. Austin and NTD stand in the corner watching over everyone while reminiscing. "Quite a ceremony man... how can you afford this?" "Don't forget that I run a wrestling academy on top of balancing my time with you in the SWF. I've got a steady stream of money at all times." "But yet you can never afford a pair of pants." Austin chuckles a bit, "speaking of pants, what's the special occasion? Ah I crack myself up." "Don't worry, I'll be out of them sooner than you may realize." NTD smiles back at his friend, who seems a bit repulsed at this new information. "Um... yeah... anyways. I guess you'll be taking some time off from the fed to celebrate and everything, right?" "Yeah, I turned in my vacation request with Zenon when I joined back up. He seemed fairly understanding about it and knew that I really couldn't change my wedding date to fit our event schedule, so he gave me about a month off for everything. I'm about a week into it already... time is just flying." "Sure has been. I've been in the SWF for almost five months! You're married now! Seems like only yesterday you guys started dating... now you're stuck with her for the rest of your life. You sure you're okay with that? Heh." Austin jokes along with his friend. "Yeah, she's the one. I've known for a long time." NTD pauses to think "hey... look... about here recently. I haven't meant to come down on you..." "Look, say no more. I understand completely. You've been under a lot of stress with the wedding and all. We're both reached a point in our lives where there's some important changes being made. You're off to get married, and I need to refresh my career somehow. We've got to focus on what's important." "I know what you mean. Uh-oh... here comes the wife! Feels so great to say that. Hey, I'll catch you in a bit, I'm going to go have this dance with her and then we can talk about this all later. Don't go anywhere!" Austin smirks as NTD dances off with his lovely wife. The smirk slowly fades away as Austin picks up his drink and takes a quick chug. He looks down at his watch, then slowly slinks off to a table to wait as we fade out for a last time.

Ahhh! I'm losing ground in both the East and in the Wildcard.

Happy birthday to Duran Duran.

This is by far the best thing I have ever read. I laughed hysterically the whole way through the match.

I sunk back to average-it-tude... but still made the All Star Game. Yay me! LA slipped out of first in the division though... what's up with that trade, btw?

Storyline-wise, Alex Zenon is the current commishioner.

I'm rocking as well. Yay me.

I'm alone in chat.

Happy late birthday to Muzz. Hope you didn't really die.

*Points to his nose.*

Three walks? That's... um... different...

Throttle him? That sounds more like a sexual proposition to me. Anyways... yay for promo goodness! King must have missed the part where I've been leaning face as of late...

As is the norm, I will offer up some comments to anyone who asks for them. I don't want to tear into anyones match that... well... doesn't want it torn up.

It's only 1:00 AM CST... where you guys at?

I noticed Strangler is booking the next show, and I mark for that. Oh... and expect a promo of some sort out of me. (Oh no! Austin is doing something with the fed! Has hell frozen?)

Now THAT was classy.

Just is.

Interesting.

You have a kid?

That's what I figured. Anyways, just suggestions on my part. Did I do anything useful?

SWF Lockdown: Nathan Xavier ~VS~ Candice - First things first, as Mike said, you need to space out your action and commentary more. It's just a pain to read when everything is all paragraphed together like that. Something like this: "..." Comet said, annoyed, "..." "..." Riley said with a chuckle. ACTION~! "..." Riley squeeled. "..." Is better. It gives you a nice spaced look, and make the match easier to read. Maybe it's just rust or something, who knows. That's not my point to pass judgement on. - Another thing... it doesn't look like you read through the match for any errors in grammah (spelt that way on purpose). Looks like they're mostly usage errors, but some words are just completely wrong ("scene" instead of what I would assume to be screen in the first paragraph, for example). It doesn't look like you ran spell check at all, either... I think that'd catch something like "David Bowe"... of course, you might have corrected it from "Bowie" on accident, I don't know. - I realize I'm nit-picking, but with entrances and such you could at least follow the fed standard of including weight and hometown as well as name. The way I usually do it is "Making his way to ringside/the ring/the hood, yo, from (home town), weighing in at (weight), name". Just a simple suggestion that might add a little to your matches. - Commentary reads like a bitch, a bitch with no content. You need to expand on what Riley and Comet are saying, because right now they're just little talking heads with no emmotion or direction. Little one liners do not make for impressive reads. You break character a bit with Riley also ("I'll keep her cute ass safe"). - Interesting idea giving directions for each side of the ring. I've always just said "exits the ring" and pretended they were in the area I wanted them to be. Of course, that might be one of my own problems... that and lack of motivation. Anyways... - A bit of the action is repetitive. Or at least how you wrote it is. Simplicity is best sometimes... try not repeat the move unless it's necessary for clarification. Hard knee! Hard knee! On the other hand, there's points in the match that lack description where it would be best suited. Points where the match turns should have the most description to them and should be highlighted with a flurry of commentary. Anything to draw attention to the fact that this is where the pace changes. - Some lack of continuity in style here. If you're going to count out the pinfalls, you should probably do it all the time and not just the big ones. Once again, it helps to space out the match a bit and it makes every pinfall seem like it could be the last. - Hmm... I don't really know my wrestling. But by common knowledge, I don't think that the exchange following the chokeslam and school boy works that well. I don't see how Candace would make it to her feet first after such a devastating amount of punishment. Just reads odd to me, all though I don't know wrestling, so take this as you will. - I don't like this at all: After stalling for several seconds, Xavier brings Candince down crashing to the mat with the ever devastating “Flatliner” (Finishing Move: Stalling Hangman’s DDT) causing the entire crowd to erupt in cheers as the pinfall commences. It's just... wrong to identify your finisher like that. Have the commentators put it over or something. But don't index it or something, know what I mean? - Such epic burns after the match as well... Anyways, this seems like it was far from your best work. I know you had to put it together rather quickly as well, as I know you hadn't worked on it at all the day before the show went out. Hopefully some of this stuff helps you out. I'm going to eat my BK, and then come back and look at the next match if I have time.

I'll take a look at your match in the morning, Jake.