Ced

I went out like a light once they put the IV into me and woke up briefly during surgery while they were taking the tools out of my mouth. I remember the sensation of being put into a wheelchair then waking up in my bedroom. I tried talking to my mom and she handed me a pen and paper since she couldn't understand my sedated speech with gauze in my mouth. I remember writing "pudding" then pointing to my cell phone. I somehow took a picture of myself at this point using my phone's camera, but I don't even recall doing this. I remember puking into a bucket since I had been unconsciously sucking on my gauze and swallowing my own blood, which apparently isn't a good combination with vicadin. Everything between 11:30 am (when they gave me the sedatives) and 4 am the next day are hard to remember for me. I just remember alternating between staring at my TV and sleeping for the most part.

I went into my dentist to get my wisdom teeth pulled last Thursday. I remember them giving me a shot of something and less than thirty seconds later I'm at home reclined in my bed with a mouth full of bloody gauze. I honestly had no idea that the sedatives where in the injection and I was still waiting for them to gas me before I went lights out. So my questions are what the hell did they inject into me and how the heck does that stuff work so quick?

- A wrestler that yells out a particular wrestler's name and proceeds to wrestle like that wrestler for a few minutes before calling out another name. I think this was a comedy match gimmick in Japan, but hell I don't know. - Mark Henry, El Hijo De Giant Gonzalez. Same airbrushed naked suit except it looks even more fake because it's worn by a black guy! Hilarity!

I hate Acclaim. BMX XXX solidified my hatred for them and that hatred can never be undone. SNK/Playmore. I don't hate them, but dammit, I'd wish they would update their sprites. It's embarrassing.

Stuff like this tends to bug me. "Everybody" first of all is a massively broad term. I'd venture you guess you couldn't "hold your own" against some of the best players in any state or even province up here in Canada I've been destroyed by tournament caliber players, but I'll at least show signs that I know what in the world I'm doing against them; ie no button mashing, parrying, countering, sidesteps and the whatnot. Admittedly, I'm the type of fighting game competitor that's usually first or second round fodder. "Holding my own" to me equates to "not getting owned". Any loss that isn't a perfect is an acceptable loss. (Hey, it counts for something...) My friend yelled something like that while I was playing Soul Calibur II. My response was "What the f*** did you just say?"

856.3 on my third attempt after whiffing twice trying to understand the game.

I get good enough in fighting games to hold my own against everybody else. Video gaming is my hobby and not my life...except when money and prizes are involved. As for fighting game strategies, I just mix my moves up and keep my opponent guessing. Nothing too complex.

The surgery is no problem. You're in the chair, lights out and thank you for coming. The hours post-op are a fucking bitch. The sedatives and vicadin induced haze made me hate life for a good 8 hours before things got better.

I marked for the Benjamin vs HHH MEmainly because the crowd was into it and the action was TV ME great. ...sans the "I jump onto your boot from the top rope...where was I going to hit you again?" spot and the HHH Flair Flop that resulted from it. God I fucking hate that spot.

You'll know if I'm ever at a WWE show if you see a sign with four arrows pointing left, down, up and right, in that order from left to right.

My bottom wisdom teeth were completely sideways and threatening the roots of my molars so they had to go. The sedatives were scary quick and I have no idea exactly when I went out after the initial injection.

Saved from a previous Wrestlecrap update

Edge & Christian as Los Conquistadores. Making their awesome gimmick reek of even more awesomeness.

Gamefaqs.com is the place to get codes and in-depth FAQs. As for their forums...God, I wish I had mod powers on their forums. To spend one day banning IPs and deleting threads on their message board is a power monger's dream.

I was thinking about doing two surreal segments where my angry personal threats during a personal visit to Acclaim led to the cancellation of their production of the SWF videogame and a drunken DDR brawl that led to two months of community service. But alas, I was typing this off the cuff at midnight with very little creative juice flowing.

Note: This was going to be posted in the WF folder, but seeing as I haven't been 100% active in months, I'm dropping it in here to be safe. Note: This is a work of sheer B.S. which is to say it is a fictional review of a fictional tape written by a fictional writer. Like you didn't know that already... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- TAPE REVIEW CED ORDONEZ SHOOT INTERVIEW By Ryan O. Honeycutt Mar 23, 2004, 11:10 This is a review of SWF wrestler/referee Ced Ordonez, which was taped on February 9, 2004. We start off with Ced giving a shoutout to all of his Internet fans. I need to add that he’s wearing a San Miguel Beermen basketball jersey. I have no idea if that team even exists but they are the greatest basketball team EVER simply for that name. Ced says that he grew up watching pro-wrestling and how his TV watching schedule was solely based around when the wrestling shows were on. He talks about how he was never good at sports. He went to try-outs for his high school amateur wrestling team, but he never made the cut both times he competed for a spot. He tells the story about his attempt to earn a walk on spot on his college football squad and ending up on an ambulance ride by the end of the day due to sheer exhaustion. He talks about how he took up martial arts as a hobby after failing at competitive sports and how it toughened him up. He’s a brown belt in Tae Kwon Do and took it mainly to learn to “f*** somebody up with kicks.” He also glosses over his training in judo and his self proclaimed “C-Groove Shooto” style of fighting, which he describes as “one part martial arts to two parts crazy bastard.” Next, he goes on to talk about how he got into pro-wrestling. He says that he never got formal training before actually making it into the fed. He wanted to go to the WCW Power Plant, but didn’t have the money for the trip so he set up pads in his apartment complex’s workout room and spent months practicing bumps and holds until 3 in the morning. He claims to have sent out audition tapes to all the major wrestling companies worldwide before finally landing a spot in the IGNWF. He talks about how tough the SWF’s road schedule can be and how quickly it can burn out wrestlers. He says that a combination of minor injuries and personal problems eventually snowballed together and sidelined him from regular wrestling action, which is the reason he’s refereeing more than wrestling at the moment. When asked about a possible return to the ring full-time, he states that his life is just about back on track, but that he’s enjoying being a ref for now. He then goes on to mention his rabid obsession with video games. He travels with his PS2 and X-Box while on tour and regularly frequents local arcades before each show, especially those with DDR machines (absolutely no surprise here). This naturally segues into the Bemani Cross Wizard gimmick. Ced credits himself for the name but gives the majority of the credit to Thoth for coming up with the idea. Although he he loved the idea, he admits that he never thought it was going to get over like it did. With the interview winding down, Ced takes the time to pimp his newly opened arcade center “Esaka Street Arcade” (named after his original entrance theme, which is from the King of Fighters ‘96 video game, appropriately enough) in Sacramento, CA. (“We’ve got Neo-Geos and all the Bemani games. You KNOW you want it, dammit!”) As a bonus we are given The Bemani Cross Wizards (Ced Ordonez and Thoth) vs Justice and Rule (Judge William Hearford III & Ejiro Fasaki) from the October 13, 2003 airing of SWF Smarkdown (An excellent TV match) followed by Ced Ordonez vs Mercury for the vacant SWF Hardcore Gamer’s Championship from the Genesis 3 PPV on September 29,2002 (A so-so affair but significant being Ced’s first major title victory). This was a decent shoot interview that gives a little insight of Ced Ordonez outside of the ring. Nothing ground breaking and rather short compared to other shoot interviews, but it’s entertaining enough to make for a decent viewing. Mild recommendation to watch.

Well now, holy crap... Next thing you know, you'll tell me that ELK exists in real life and will be waiting for me on my porch to collect on all my no-shows and when I go pick up the morning paper...

23.80952380952381% nerd blood flows through your veins. I'm less than a quarter nerd? Thank God...

I put up part of my Ranma 1/2 collection up for sale on half.com, if anybody here is interested. They're from the original, multicolored set, each book cover measuring 8 1/4 x 5 1/4 inches (the newer version is smaller and all the volumes have blue covers). They are translated into English and read left-to-right. Volumes 7 through 17 have been put up for sale. The asking price is around $6 each, but they're all in good condition and I send all books in a padded envelope whenever possible. My seller name is ced_ordonez so you know which one to buy. So if you want some Ranma 1/2 in your collection, head over to half.com before somebody else gets it.

Oh, dear God, no...Do I spy the Wheel of Bad Gimmick Matches in that set?

While everybody's rattling off the hardcore match bumps, I'll go ahead and mention Billy Kidman's springboard Shooting Star Press to the outside. So many things that can possibly go wrong there. And might as well list a hardcore match risky bump and mention the New Jack/Vic Grimes scaffold incident that damn near killed New Jack.

New veteran defensive leader of a team that only needs a few more pieces to become playoff contenders to another member of the Retirement Center in a matter of hours. Way to follow the money, Warren. What I find most humorous is that Sapp is going to the team that his former team bitchslapped to give him the Super Bowl ring on his finger.

"I believe in two things: discipline and the Bible. Here you'll receive both. Put your trust in the Lord; your ass belongs to me. Welcome to Shawshank." - Warden Norton, The Shawshank Redemption Also from The Shawshank Redemption: "You took the box? Let's see what's in the box! (Hiro lifts the box to reveal nothing)Nothing! Absolutely nothing! STUPID! You're so STU-PIIIIIIIIIIID!" - Kuni, UHF

Fight-o! Fight-o! Ya-ga-mi!

*Munches on tacos and points in the general direction of Haiti* ATTAAAAAACK~! Shoot for the shins!