Magus

okay, lately i've been a little upset over TNA's absolutely retarded booking methods. and since i'm bored right now i figured i'd just book the 3rd Anniversary Show to show everyone (that reads this section, at least) how i'd be booking TNA if i were in charge. this will be completely different from TNA's current brand of shows, as this one will make sense and will actually be cool... Impact! Show preceding AS3: 1) Miyomoto/Nosawa vs. the Naturals vs. Team Canada: this match is to determine who will take precedence in the Tag Team Title rankings. Miyomoto/Nosawa are former champions and fan favorites. Winners: Team Canada (Williams over Nosawa) 2) Kid Kash (w/ Dallas) vs. D'Lo Brown: Kash has clawed his way at both the X Division and World Title divisions, even making a break into the World Title rankings (peaking at #3). tired of being ignored, Kash and Dallas have done basically whatever they've wanted to. no one is safe from the K-I-D, and his brutal antics have forced the NWA Board to rule that he is not to receive title shots of any kind for 90 days. but his time's almost up, and he faces D'Lo Brown tonight. Winner: Kid Kash w/ the Moneymaker after Dallas interferes. beatdown on Brown until AJ Styles runs in for the save, and there's a staredown between him and Kash. 3) Michael Shane (w/ Traci) vs. "Irish" Pat Kenney: Shane's been on a role as of late, using Traci's beauty and brawn to win a long string of matches. Pat Kenney is just returning after being sidelined due to abdominal injury from "the Alpha Male" Monte Brown. Kenney ignores Traci during the match, but Shane uses the Irishman's injured ribs against him. Winner: Michael Shane w/ the Superkick. 4) 4 Way #1 Contender to the X Division Title: Sonjay Dutt vs. Chris Sabin vs. Primetime vs. Kazarian. these men (along with many more of TNA's X Division stars) have been fighting to get a shot at Christopher Daniels' X Title. Primetime is in Daniels' corner due to their history together. Daniels watches the match from the stage, despite the fact that he has a big match with AJ Styles at AS3. Winner: Sonjay Dutt, who is next to face the X Division Champion. Anniversary Show 3. Live on PPV: 1) Ron Killings (w/ 3LK) vs. Abyss (w/ Jonny Fairplay): Fairplay has taken control of the monster Abyss to further his own career, while Ron Killings has continued his road to get his dues from the wrestling world. this match is to determine who will take precedence in the World Title rankings, possibly to be the very next challenger for the NWA World Title. Winner: Abyss with the Black Hole Slam on all three members of 3LK. 2) NWA Tag Team Title Match: the New Church © vs. AMW: Harris and Storm haven't wrestled for gold since they lost the titles to Miyomoto/Nosawa. at every turn, the New Church has blocked their path. James Mitchell claims that AMW has been the cornerstone of the tag division for far too long, and his Disciples now deserve that spot. Slash and Sinn won the titles from Miyomoto/Nosawa several months ago, and they have gladly defended the titles against all comers, but they have clearly stated in their contracts that they won't face AMW. AMW went to their mentor and NWA Director of Authority Dusty Rhodes and eventually had the clause thrown out by the Board. now, for the first time in ages, AMW gets a title shot, and the New Church has to defend against perhaps the greatest tag team in TNA. Winners: AMW with the Death Sentence on Sinn. 3) X Division Title Match: Christopher Daniels © vs. AJ Styles: these two have been at each others' throats for surpremacy in the X Division for almost a year now. they've traded the title TWICE, and Styles even returned to the World Title scene for a time while Daniels dominated the X Division. however, Styles had to return to defend his good name against Daniels' bragging that he had scared him away from "the only NWA title that matters." Daniels brought back his "brother" Low Ki to exterminate Styles for him, but it wasn't enough. Styles defeated Ki, and the NWA Board determined that that warranted a title shot. Winner: DRAW at the 20 minute time limit, although both men hit their trademark finishers. 4) Jeff Jarrett vs. Jeff Hardy: after losing the World Title to Raven, Jeff Jarrett said he'd go over whoever he had to to get back his title. Jeff Hardy answered the challenge, and defeated Jarrett in a #1 Contender's Match. Raven vs. Hardy was on, but Jarrett cost Hardy the match. since then, Jarrett has taken every opportunity to insult Jeff Hardy's family, including his brother Matt and his wife Beth. it finally comes down to this match; no stips, just pride. Winner: Jeff Hardy w/ the Swanton Bomb. 5) NWA World Title Match: Raven ©(w/ the Extreme Revolution) vs. Jerry Lynn: Raven fulfilled his destiny against Jeff Jarrett and finally became the NWA World Title. since then, he's had a deathgrip on the title, using the Extreme Revolution (Sabu, Sandman, and Saturn) as his dogs of war. he's offered Jerry Lynn a spot in his stable, but Lynn has made it known that he wishes to focus on the World Title Rankings. he defeated many contenders such as D'Lo, Truth, and even AJ Styles, but lost to Jeff Jarrett (who in turn lost to Jeff Hardy). Jerry Lynn finally made it to the number one spot three weeks ago when he defeated the Extreme Revolution in a Gauntlet Match to earn the right to challenge Raven. Raven intends to show Lynn that it is healthier to stand with him than to run against him. Winner: Jerry Lynn with a Cradle Piledriver, after the Extreme Revolution is banned from ringside by Dusty Rhodes. your new NWA World Champ: JERRY LYNN feedback plz (if anyone actually reads this)

the show had a good match or two, but the booking still sucks all kinds of ass. TNA's direction (or lack thereof) is so much like WCW that its just not funny anymore. its getting sad, and eventually someone will have to wake up and change it. let's look at the fuck ups not only on this show, but in how TNA promoted it: -they didn't have Rodman on. i didn't want to see him in the first place, but you shouldn't say something will happen when you know it won't. bait-and-switches don't make fans happy, especially ones involving quasi-celebrities. -they didn't tell us if Jeff Hardy had signed or not. no one cares if TNA is thinking about it or not, just tell us you signed him and that's that. advertising big announcements and big stars and then failing to provide them doesn't win fans. -yet another bait-and-switch with Kash not showing up. i don't care if he's got heat, Kash was announced for this show, and he shoulda been on! if you say Jesus Christ is going to be on next week's show, you better be damn sure that he'll be there. no more bait-and-switches! -another long promo involving Russo and Jarrett in their neverending fued. Jeff got his belt back, big fucking surprise. -D'Lo/Monte went to a no contest, and i am sick and tired of seeing nonfinishes. why doesn't Mantell just come out and hold up a sign that says "don't pay attention, i'm jerking you off"? -they left Watts/Goldy and the NYC fueds open to continue, which baffles me as they are the two worst angles they have going. -its obvious that they have no idea where to go booking-wise. Russo stated in his interview that TNA just doesn't have the time to book further than TWO WEEKS into the future. maybe they're not talented or creative enough, maybe. like i said, this show had some good matches, but angle and character-wise, its all missing. until they decide to get their act together, they'll just be a bush league WCW.

i didn't book some people on there, but that's not b/c i don't have anything for them. i may (if there's demand for it) book another Impact! Show with the wrestlers i didn't use here. just so i don't forget them when the time comes: Monte Brown, David Young, NYC, Siaki, Shark Boy, Red, D-Ray, Kevin Northcutt, and maybe Erik Watts if i can think of anything for him.

this man speaks truth. IMO, more than anything right now, TNA needs a new booker. not Russo, not Mantell, not Jarrett. somebody fresh.

that proves how out-of-touch Jeff is, and the bottom line in TNA comes down to what HE wants, not what actually gets over or makes money. but when Russo's not fueding with Jeff, is he any better? does he ever actually get anyone over or make the show more interesting? Vince is just as guilty of hogging the spotlight as Jeff has ever been, and i don't expect that he's changed his ways simply because he up and found Jesus. his booking is redundant and his on screen character is boring. therefore, he's useless and shouldn't be involved with either the creative or on-air product. he's a has-been who has friends in high places, and nothing more. no better than Mantell. the sooner that TNA lets go of these guys the better. they desperately need to put someone in creative who is actually creative and who will try to get wrestlers over who aren't named Jeff Jarrett. not only that, but according to Russo himself, the booking is being done week by week, so TNA obviously has no clear direction where they're going or how they'll get there. good booking that is not.

Monte: i don't see what's so special about him. everyone else has already made valid points about his average ring work. Monte could be pushed pretty high on the card, but it'll take time, and he has to improve. TNA already has plenty of really GOOD WRESTLERS, so i have to ask: why push another hoss? it seems like they always push the dependable guys (which they should), but why do the dependable guys always have to be the sucky guys? Kenney: i think that Simon/Pat is talented enough to get himself over again. he's just going to have to start from the ground up. Vito: hey, if it keeps Glen Gilberti out of the ring, i'm all for it. Vito should be teaming with Swinger with Gilberti as manager and Trinity running interference. it'd be a hell of a better stable that way. Vito and Swinger would be a pretty good team, while Gilberti and Swinger are stinking up the midcard.

that's a sound idea as well. the problem i have with Russo being in the company at all is that he's continually used as an on-air character. i don't know about you, Laz, but i can't stand him. he adds nothing to the table on screen. if he were to work with Jarrett (NOT Jeff) with the booking, i could see that working as long as Russo stays off camera. he may be born again and all, but he's still an egomaniac and a spotlight hog.

i mention this because no one else has yet: according to this news, D'Lo is about to move into a program with Monte Brown, and they want to put 3LK against Team Canada after the TC/AMW fued is over... wow, i wonder who's gonna challenge Jeff for the title. Vince vs. Jeff. mark my words. and at this point, i'd give the entire book to Dream and kiss him dead on the lips if it got Mantell out of the picture. i'd regret it later, but TNA really needs a new booker. Vince Russo's a has-been, and Mantell comes from another solar system. fuck, give the book to Raven. and i don't say that b/c i'm a good little 'net mark and i love everything Raven does. i say that because he's THE most creative guy in pro wrestling (everyone seems to be in agreement on this). hell, he's got a better mind for wrestling than most actual creative department heads. he knows how to do it, as it was his booking that lead to a lot of ECW's success (again, this is undisputed). and while Raven might be my choice, the real issue here is that TNA needs a better fucking writer. *course, that's just my opinion, i could be wrong*

you have a point, even though i don't see too much wrong with Hardy's punches. the thing about it is, Hardy IS a spotmonkey, but there's no way he can keep up with the X Division guys. the best place for him is up against heavyweights and such.

-discussing the World Title scene is almost beneath my standard of dignity. lucky thing i have low standards... basically, this whole thing will be a waste of time if the belt just goes back to Jeff Jarrett, so let Truth be champ. -Mike Tenay: "Jeff Hardy has signed a contract with TNA. he will be on this week's edition of Impact in a match against _______. tune in to see TNA's newest star." that's all that necessary, so for God's sake don't try to do something over-the-top with this announcement. -Kash vs. Styles should be awesome. give it 15-20 and put it in the main event, and you'll have a lot of happy fans. while i think this is a great match, i want to see the fued go on. maybe Kash or Dallas is caught cheating and the match ends in DQ with Styles retaining. anything that will set up a rematch down the line, as TNA should milk this one for all its worth. -the Naturals fight AMW. this is the same situation as the Kash/Styles match, so i'll move on. -i'm not sure what Brown vs. Brown is going to prove, but it should provide a decent match. D'Lo should be the next challenger, so i'm pulling for him. i don't buy Monte as a main eventer... yet. -Dutt/Sabu vs. Team Canada should be cool. the great thing about matches like this is it moves their characters along even though the two teams don't even have much to do with each other. Raven will probably have some hand in it (furthering his angle with Sabu), and Team Canada will more than likely get the win to move further up the tag ranks. i love matches like that. seems like a lost concept most of the time. -i want the Kenney/Siaki/NYC fued to end RIGHT NOW. its obviously shite, so i won't waste time perforating it and the people responsible for it. if anyone actually LIKES this angle though, you should be killed. this is TNA's worst fued right now. -oh, no its not, the Watts/Goldy/Abyss fued is TNA's worst fued right now. i stand corrected. i'm hoping that this travesty ends right now too, as i'd like to see Abyss get back into the main event and kick some ass.

*stands and applauds* all points valid. great article, and i'm happy to see that i'm not alone in my outrage. seriously, AS2 ranks with some of the worst shows TNA has ever run. i would like to mention a technicality on Keller's column. Russo has no say in the creative process, so its Jeff that keeps pushing this fued between himself and Vince, probably because he sees it as another great historic fued like Austin/McMahon was. Jeff's going to run his company into the ground trying to force what isn't really there. if we get lucky, one day, MAYBE, Jeff will come to his senses. if VKM can come out and admit when he's doing things wrong (years ago, of course), maybe Jeff can too.

back on subject... if TNA is going back to the "surprise of the week" system, that'd be great. first we had Hardy debut (who has name value, and could be a good character if booked correctly), now Rodman, and then Shamrock. much like Hardy, Shamrock could be something special for TNA if they book him correctly (just so i don't sound like a pompous nerd, booking someone correctly simply means this: play up their strengths and hide their weaknesses. simple as that)

while i think that marketing DVDs is more important that action figures... what do i know? i'm just a mark. **picks up my new AJ Styles toy and chucks it at my sister like a ninja star** DID YOU SEE THAT? PHENOMENAL!

as long as Rodman's gone after one show, i'm fine with it. P.S. i hate Mike Sanders.

Satellite's out, so i'll just give my thoughts on the spoilers. this show seems to have more wrestling to it, which is strange considering how the PPV was. i'd actually like to see a fued between Monte Brown and Pat Kenney instead of the crap they're each in right now. AMW seems to actually have challengers, which is good. and lastly, whoever is booking the main event should be kicked in the balls. the only thing worse than the nonfinish on Wednesday is this bait and switch that's going to be on Impact. just makes everyone look like shit.

AJ vs. Jeff wasn't terrible, but that's mainly b/c we had AJ in there, and TNA did the smart thing (probably by accident) and didn't let the match go for too long. unless Hardy has magically gotten better, he'll be stinking up the ring in no time. personally, i think Hardy could be a good upper midcarder if they push him as a brawler who can pull out some highspots. will they push him that way? probably not. along with Rodman, this is just another thing to make me lose faith in this shitty company. Wrestling Reinvented, my ass. more like WCW Reinvented.

i'm with the Mike here. Rodman was one of WCW's stupidest moves, and its really not surprising that TNA is working with him. this sucks for so many reasons its not even funny. if TNA wants to be WCW Lite, that's their own fault. you'd think that after all the years since WCW went out of business, that people would have a better hold on what not to do with a wrestling company. this is one of those things.

i'm talking about Goldy as a character on the show. as an interviewer, she was fairly decent, but push further than that and she gets irritating. the whole fued between her and Watts is unwatchable. and worse yet, they've shackled them to Abyss, a worker who should be going up against other people with actual talent. James and Konnan are okay where they are, but they are treated better and paid more to do nothing. that's my only beef with them. i'm not that saddened about CM Punk leaving. i was just using him as an example of how a guy with lots of talent will get the shaft because TNA will push Glen Gilberti at all costs. as for Russo, hell, i think he and Mantell suck equally as writers. they're both uncreative, and thus useless. but i was mainly talking about Russo's performance on air. he's not a good actor, and he generates absolute zero interest from anyone in this hemesphere. but he's still pushed to no end, which isn't good since he sucks heat like a black hole. Russo's entire presence just seems... unnecessary. he has no business being on the show or in any kind of fued... yet he is. the guy adds nothing, so get rid of him. get rid of Dutch while your at it, just so i can seem fair. in fact, TNA should go out on a limb and do something truly revolutionary and innovative (they throw those words around too much BTW), and just HIRE A NEW WRITER!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jeff continues to show spots of common sense as well as loads of stupidity. its smart that he's considering getting rid of Goldy (thank you, Jesus) and i'm glad that he realizes how dumb it would be to try to compete with WWE. on the other hand, Jeff's still a frickin' moron. he hasn't learned that no one cares about his fued with Vince Russo (Russo, if you don't want to do it, LEAVE the company! save us the torture!). its also telling that he'll pay Konnan whatever he wants but he won't give Kid Kash (better than Konnan in every aspect) a raise. telling indeed. but what sickens me the most is that they're considering running fueds with Fairplay vs. Reality TV Stars. yeah, having that Trishelle bitch is really gonna pop buyrates on a wrestling show. looks like the Sportz Entertainment horse is going to get beat once again....

one word for this show: BOOOO!!!!!! Jesus Tapdancin' Christ was that a crappy show! let's review the atrocities, shall we? - the green vignettes confuse and anger me. they are stupid. i would like to see whoever thought that gem up eat a bullet. - Raven wasn't there, although i can't blame him. if i were him, i'd be too fuckin' embarassed. - Vince Russo sucks as a babyface almost as much as he sucks as a heel. in fact, if someone sucks that freakin' hard... maybe you shouldn't have them on the show? Vince ruined the whole fuckin' thing by holding up the WORLD TITLE on the BIGGEST SHOW OF THE YEAR. yeah, i mean, remember how great it was when McMahon held up the WWF title at all those Wrestlemanias? sure made those shows worthwhile. the show was practically ruined by one stupid performer, and for once it wasn't Leonard. Russo, you dick, get off the fucking camera. - and the lovechild of Jeff and Vince, Little Glen, still has a job, and i'm still personally offended and insulted by his existence on this planet. i have rarely seen a motherfucker as useless as he, and not only does his current angle suck truckloads of ass, we're only going to get MORE of it! why is it that the shittiest fueds with the shittiest workers always last the longest? - okay, let's look at match time, shall we? the tag and XD title matches got about SEVEN MINUTES, and one of them didn't even have a fucking finish. but hey, we can just give MORE time to midgets, catfights, and a nonwrestler's match! its a crime that those three matches got the time that they got, while Styles wrestled seven minutes to a no contest. bullshit. - Jerry Lynn, thou name is bee-otch, for ye must carry a manager to a fifteen minute match instead of squashing him. that would make too much sense. D'Lo Brown, thou name is also bee-otch, for ye were to challenge the champion, yet ye hast been shafted into dealing with the Brown who is called Monte. then again, its hard for them to push you against the champ when they pull a no contest. once again, i say BULLSHIT. - and now, the crown jewel of this tiara of shit, the WORLD TITLE MATCH. was i the only one who felt that it was Killings trying to carry Jarrett? in any case, the match wasn't that good, and it really needed to be. so, we have a mediocre match-up, but that's not all folks. we get Dusty, Russo, Legends, and about 28 referees in this shit to make it seem important. and remember kiddies, the important thing in TNA isn't the World Title. it isn't who fought the hardest for it, who earned it, or even who wants it. the thing to remember is that Dusty Rhodes wants Russo to do the right thing, but Vince just doesn't know if he can emotionally bring himself to do it. tune in next week to see what happens. what the fuck is this, the WB? i'm sorry, i thought i was watching W-R-E-S-T-L-I-N-G! i'll bet Marty is going wild for this kinda shit... okay, rant over! man, that was a lot of swearing, but i'm glad i got it out of my system. sorry about the profanity if any were offended. i do think there were a few good spots on the show... but mainly, it sucked my left nad. at least COMIC BOOKS don't disappoint me on a regular basis.

i don't really know if Kash is acting like a little bitch here, but i DO know that he's not given nearly the kind of respect he deserves when it comes to his place on the show. he's a great worker and a terrific heel, but as has been mentioned, TNA plays favorites. the main three that come to mind are Jarrett (duh), Styles (he's pushed better when he's in the X Division, probably b/c he's not a threat to Jeff there), and AMW (again, probably given the great tag team push b/c they're not threatening Jeff's top spot). for each division there's a top entity, and i guess Jeff/Dutch don't know how to get EVERYONE over, and not just bury the roster to put over a couple of guys. on another note, i see LOADS of favoritism shown towards useless hacks like Russo, Gilberti, Konnan, James, Goldy, and Erik Watts. each one is practically (if not completely) useless, yet they are given chance after chance on the shows. you never saw CM Punk get a push like these guys have.

keeping Jeff around long term isn't too good an idea. bringing him in for a one time deal at AS2 where he jobs to Styles is the best way to go. a guy like Hardy is meant to be used that way, not as a permanent figure on the shows. remember when TNA had the "Expect the Unexpected" rule? almost every week someone of some importance would show up for a show or two? that's basically what should be done here. Hardy is a special attraction, nothing more.

I would have to agree. I would prefer to see Swinger and Kenney work a singles feud. yeah, that'd be cool. i'd also like to see Siaki have an exciting match, Trinity to get nekkid, and for Glen Gilberti to stop punishing the audience with his mere presence. i think Kenny vs. Swinger could be a good fued, and i think having them reunite and take the tag team scene by storm would be a great angle in the far off future.

so many better choices.... Jeff Hardy is a terrible wrestler, so i think the "he doesn't wrestle X Division style" arguement would be futile. i agree that AJ will have his hands full trying to make this match watchable. if he can drag Hardy's carcass across the finish line, it'll be yet another miracle he's worked. the only thing TNA gets from this is the fact that they had a (ahem!) "big name" on their Anniversary Show, wrestling for one of their major titles, and the Phenomenal One pinned him. now that i know who they're going to use, i can safely say that these guys would have all been better choices, both angle-wise and match-wise: Sabin, Red, Dutt, Juvi, Teddy Hart, Hector Garza, Petey Williams, Jerry Lynn, Spanky, or Kazarian.

AMW is a good team to anchor the Tag Division. they're used basically to bounce other (more skilled and more interesting) teams off of them. plus, for some reason, TNA is actually WILLING to push them well in the Tag Division. besides AMW, i'd like to see xXx reform one day, even if its with new members or something. the Naturals are a good heel team, as is Team Canada. put together another good pairing, and there's a few teams to build an extremely strong division around. and this is just me, but i like the idea of Miyomoto/Nosawa. what can i say, crazy Japs are a weakness of mine. since i'm on this subject, the teams of Siaki/Kenney and the NYC respectively suck donkey ass. seeing these guys/gal on TV is almost painful the way they're being used right now.