Xavier Cromartie

There's the classy objet petit a that I know. I respect your view. I suppose that you can't physically give an e-book, much like you can't give an mp3. But, iTunes Gifts allows you to go so far as to give a printed gift that indicates the particular songs that you're giving the recipient, and so I believe that people will still buy e-books as gifts. Kindle already allows you to annotate your e-books. I believe that the technology could be improved further, though. For example, I envision book signings of the future involving the author's using a digital pen to sign a page in your e-book. It would be uniquely saved and stored, and you could sell your unique e-book without selling your e-book reader. Yes, e-books do not take up shelf space. I don't think that that aspect is enough to keep it from going mainstream. Some of us prefer it that way. "The anti-technology subculture" is a phrase from my cyberpunk view of the future. The fusion of technology and lifestyle will continue, and some people will rebel against this fusion. And I think that a major development will be the usage of e-paper to replace paper. Color. Flexibility. Rollability. I see e-paper replacing standard billboards, ads, film posters, food packaging, tickets... everything it can. It's just a matter of when the e-paper reaches the right combination of technological development and low price. For e-books specifically, there are many advantages (although e-paper vs. paper may be the real key, as mentioned above). You have your entire library in your hand. You get e-books instantly instead of waiting for shipping or going to the store. Book prices are usually cheaper. Your arms don't get tired while holding it. You can search an e-book to find the passage you want. You can easily correct errors in e-books and keep them current. It can read the text aloud to you. You can increase the text size. You can look up words in the dictionary. You can play background music. You don't have to pack a bunch of heavy boxes if you move and you can't lose them in a fire. I think that one of the main non-technological issues is that people wouldn't have their current library on their e-book reader. Perhaps Amazon could temporarily offer a trade-in of paper books for the typical used book prices that you'd get at Half Price Books AND then let users download those books for free in order to encourage more switching over. Just an idea, maybe too sweet for the customer. The price of the Kindle is also too high right now (but it's doing well anyway[1][2]). I'm not saying that books will disappear. I agree with this entire paragraph. Vinyl is still useful to DJs. Books will be treasured historical items with a niche market. The point is that records and cassettes aren't the mainstream audio media anymore. My view is that e-book readers (combined with Internet and cell phones) will eventually replace printed paper books/newspapers/magazines as the mainstream way of reading. I've praised objet petit a to the point of calling him the best poster at TSM, and I felt like he was giving me a 'fuck you' in return. This paragraph doesn't make sense. My goal in that particular post wasn't to write a detailed essay about why e-books may replace paper books. I was introducing a topic about the future. I could have given zero examples, but I made the effort to come up with twelve for the purpose of generating potential discussion points. I invited others to agree or disagree with those twelve and/or add more examples for us to discuss. The detailed discussion comes in the subsequent posts. Your last sentence is unbelievable. 75. The RyechnaiaSobaka Final Four. 7. Shelton Benjamin outta f'n nowhere! vs. 4. Duncan Eternia. Shelton Benjamin outta f'n nowhere! needs to be made into a Lonely Island skit. You're about to kiss your girlfriend when BOOM, double clothesline from Shelton Benjamin outta f'n nowhere! You lie down to sleep when CRASH, moonsault from Shelton Benjamin outta f'n nowhere! You're painting on a ladder when SNAP, fisherman's suplex from Shelton Benjamin outta f'n nowhere! Five stars. 'Duncan Eternia' is a cool name, but perhaps I'm letting my imagination and spiritual interest take over too much. Again, I've possibly projected too much of myself into this name. I've taken the Macbeth interpretation of Duncan. It could be a guy who really likes Tim Duncan, or something. CHAMPIONSHIP CONTENDER #1 Shelton Benjamin outta f'n nowhere! 3. Burning Pirate Ship Sex vs. 6. A.BUTCHER'S HOUSE OF RIBS. This one comes down to originality. A Google search shows that the phrase 'Burning Pirate Ship Sex,' and even just 'Pirate Ship Sex,' is not used beyond this forum. This usage may be the first utterance in history: Conversely, 'Abdullah the Butcher House of Ribs & Chinese Food' is rather well-known. It's funny, but I've said before that you can't win by copying. You have to create something new or completely revolutionize the way an existing phrase can be thought of. 'Burning Pirate Ship Sex' is TSM's gift to language. CHAMPIONSHIP CONTENDER #2 Burning Pirate Ship Sex FINAL BATTLE 7. Shelton Benjamin outta f'n nowhere! vs. 3. Burning Pirate Ship Sex Hey TSM, I would like to hear which name you think should win!

-1 I feel that you're reiterating your personal preference for the "experience" of holding/writing in a paper book rather than making an objective prediction about when and whether e-books will ultimately replace paper. Why are you insulting me with this "I don't need to explain myself because I'm obviously right" tone? You're emulating Brody and Molotov? The Bulb isn't who I thought he was. He has sided with elitism instead of exchange of ideas. Three sentences would do. You could say, "2020 is likely too early to completely switch to e-books. The technology needs further improvements in visual clarity, writability, wireless transferability, and general ease of use. Logistically, it will take a long time to make every book available, and the change will be resisted by the anti-technology subculture as well as Barnes & Noble." I would reply, "Excellent post; I agree that 2020 is probably too early. But, my greater goal in that post was to raise the idea that paper books may become a thing of the past in the not-so-distant future rather than predict precisely when it will happen." 74. The Elite Eight. The regional championships. 1. The Czech Republic vs. 7. Shelton Benjamin outta f'n nowhere!. The lover and the beloved. It's like the Song of Solomon. I expected Czech to start writing sentences such as "your lips are like scarlet thread" after Shelton Benjamin outta f'n nowhere!'s posts. (But, in turn, Czech's legs are like pillars of marble set on sockets of fine gold.) Anyway, Wikipedia's page dedicated to the name of the Czech Republic explains (vaguely) that we use a 'z' in 'Czech' because it's taken from the Polish 'Czeska'. What is that blatant Polish homerism, Danny? You are out of order! XENA ASOMUGHA REGIONAL CHAMPION SHELTON BENJAMIN OUTTA F'N NOWHERE! 4. Duncan Eternia vs. 3. objet petit a. Nope. MY PAL, NEIFI PEREZ. REGIONAL CHAMPION DUNCAN ETERNIA 8. Oneironaut vs. 3. Burning Pirate Ship Sex. I have to admit that "Oneironaut" strongly resembles the name "Ortonsault" and may be subconsciously influencing me. We know that I play to win, and I may be projecting myself into Oneironaut. Burning Pirate Ship Sex complements the name nicely with his choice of avatar. The problem is that AndrewisyourHero didn't come up with this phrase (Milky did), nor was it his idea to use it as a username (it was mellow's idea). But, you know, when I read Wikipedia, I'm not concerned with how many people contributed. My only interest is that the end result is a high-quality article—regardless of whether one person or 100 people create it. KAPLANIR REGIONAL CHAMPION BURNING PIRATE SHIP SEX 4. Crimson G vs. 6. A.BUTCHER'S HOUSE OF RIBS. I must say that I find this region to be fairly weak overall. Crimson is a pleasant word, but it's not unusual to see it in this context (e.g., Crimson Tide). And then you're left with 'G.' And so, all the excitement is really just about what the G means. I neglected to mention earlier that there really is a place called Abdullah the Butcher House of Ribs & Chinese Food in Atlanta. That place must serve the unhealthiest shit imaginable. It's incredible that Abdullah is not only still wrestling but is still alive at age 68, considering that he weighs 350–400 lb. I think that it would be much better if this name were a TSM original absurdity, but, like Kris Allen, this poster "made it his own." RULLMAR REGIONAL CHAMPION A.BUTCHER'S HOUSE OF RIBS RYECHNAIASOBAKA FINAL FOUR 7. Shelton Benjamin outta f'n nowhere! vs. 4. Duncan Eternia 3. Burning Pirate Ship Sex vs. 6. A.BUTCHER'S HOUSE OF RIBS

You should have nominated 'Battlenuts,' then. I would have put it in. I don't see why it's an 'OMG moment' for me to say that I prefer the girl in the middle by a small degree of magnitude. 73. The tournament continues. SWEET SIXTEEN. Xena Asomugha region 1. The Czech Republic vs. 5. Noah Fentz. Czech enjoys football and ice hockey, is mostly a non-believer in religion, and was once with a girl named Slovakia. But what's up with the totally weird way that he spells his name? We'll have to look into it next time. 'Noah Fentz' can't win simply by being a homonym. If it were his real name, and he gave me a detailed description of his family's emigration from Germany, then it would be a different story. 3. Hotbutter Spoontoaster vs. 7. Shelton Benjamin outta f'in nowhere!. I did a search and saw that Israeli Mixed Wrestling wrote, "'Ben-Jarvis Green-Ellis' has the cadence of a Hotbutter Spoontoaster account." Interesting note, but, yeah, it was one of Leena's names and was clearly inspired by the real BenJarvus Green-Ellis. I don't think that "Hardstreets Duckcouch" can be a coincidence, though. I hadn't noticed that objet petit a is as big of a HBST fan as I am. Shelton Benjamin outta f'in nowhere!, meanwhile, was championed by Czech. This matchup is not just an instant classic but also a proxy war between two of my favorite posters! How can I choose? I'm in a real-life Kobayashi Maru no-win scenario here. I think that what this choice really comes down to—and why it is the greatest matchup that we will ever see in this tournament—is that it questions which art form you prefer. Hotbutter Spoontoaster appeals to those who prefer music whereas Shelton Benjamin outta f'in nowhere! represents the visual arts. And you guys know me... I've always strongly advocated using Graphics & Testing Grounds as a forum for more serious graphical discussion. Shelton Benjamin outta f'in nowhere! advances and Czech's nightmares are about to become reality. My Pal, Neifi Perez. region 1. kkktookmybabyaway vs. 4. Duncan Eternia. 'kkktookmybabyaway' is a name that represents human evils and misconceptions. There are no such things in the Holy Kingdom of Eternia, Crown of Justice, Heaven on Earth, because Shining King Duncan continues its eternal tradition of doing all things harmoniously with nature. The noble Eternian people understand the type of love that is known as 'agapē.' 3. objet petit a vs. 7. Archibald Mutombo. "My son," Dikembe warmly said, "God blessed me with the ability to help the Congolese people, yet you reject my offer to pay for you to be educated at the world's finest institutions. Why?" Archibald replied, "Father, I must stay in London. Only with the powers of being king can I fulfill my desires." Dikembe erupted, "Vous êtes un imbécile naïf. One day, you will understand that your desires are unattainable." kaplanir region 8. Oneironaut vs. 4. Sonic Reducer. I keep thinking about the space-jump scene in Star Trek. That's what I picture an oneironaut as being. Oneironauts dive into your dreams and are like warriors of science. They kick ass and sort out the problems in your mind. Sonic Reducer actually sounds like a sci-fi gadget. How do the oneironauts enter your dreams? They use the sonic reducer, of course. 3. Burning Pirate Ship Sex vs. 2. MILPOOL__/. It's no secret that you'll get my attention with the romantic notion of swashbuckling pirates (who are actually privateers). I imagine the heartwarming story of a Somali woman who bravely joins her husband on a mission. While pursuing an Italian toxic-waste dumper along the Somali coastline, an American ship appears and shoots at the Somali mothership, setting it ablaze. As the ship races back to the safety of Eyl in a moment of incredible chaos and excitement, hubby and wife add to the thrill by having BURNING PIRATE SHIP SEX! As for MILPOOL__/, it's a good name, but it's obviously not original. You can't win by copying other people. rullmar region 8. JupiterMayo vs. 4. Crimson G. JupiterMayo continues to terrorize the sky and refuse to give out its cell phone number (for good reasons). When I think of Crimson G, I'm undoubtedly influenced by that poem from Chrono Cross—the one with the line, "A lone, crimson tear falls to the sea." objet petit a, I want to hear your expert literary opinion. Is that poem good, bad, pretentious, or what? The full poem, for your convenience: 6. A.BUTCHER'S HOUSE OF RIBS vs. 7. The 7 Word Bandit. After some additional reflection, I think all capital letters is a really important aspect of A.BUTCHER'S HOUSE OF RIBS's name. It's as vital as the exclamation point is in 'Shelton Benjamin outta f'in nowhere!.' 'The 7 Word Bandit' is simply a description of what to expect from the gimmick's post content. On its own, it's a curiosity but not a particularly great name as a name. BRACKET

I like the obituary idea. 72. Welcome to TSM USERNAME TOURNAMENT 2009! In this series, I will examine names and their powerful influence on people. I am not evaluating the posters nor the quality of their posts. It's about the names—creativity, affect, humor, and interest. The tournament's regional names are an INSIDE JOKE LOL! There's a limit of one name per registered account. Gimmicks were considered on a case-by-case basis. Posters must have at least one post in order to be eligible. Xena Asomugha region 1. The Czech Republic vs. 8. SuperDestroyerMarkTwain. There's a large difference between 'Scotsman' and 'The Czech Republic.' This daring Polish boy decided to claim not that he is from The Czech Republic but that he is The Czech Republic. Such a name lets us know that he has an unorthodox way of looking at the world. SuperDestroyerMarkTwain makes me envision a maniacal, robotic Mark Twain zombie juggernaut. This opening matchup is great, but I have to choose The Czech Republic because of the theoretical possibilities to which such a name opens my mind. 4. zhangmeijie vs. 5. Noah Fentz. Being a Chinese girl is a good way to get attention on a forum that consists mostly of Western men. 'Noah Fentz' is the type of name that Bart would ask for at Moe's. What tips the scale toward Noah is the fact that some posters didn't get that it is a homonym for "no offense." How do you not instantly see it? 3. Hotbutter Spoontoaster vs. 6. XxMariaSantosxX. 'Hotbutter Spoontoaster' is such a memorable name that it became a template for similar names. XxMariaSantosxX represents the power that a potentially attractive female holds over a forum that is filled with delusional and histrionic young men. I'm going with HBST for the name as a name. 2. Ted the Poster vs. 7. Shelton Benjamin outta f'in nowhere!. Since Shelton Benjamin outta f'in nowhere! inspired this tournament's creation, he must be considered the most dangerous 7 seed of all-time. Of course the name is brilliant for the imagery it creates, but you also have to credit his usage of "outta," "f'n," and the exclamation point to seal the deal. Ted the Poster reminds me of Ted from Suikoden. He is a plain guy with an ordinary name who just happens to be extraordinarily powerful. I'd expect similar characteristics from Ted the Poster. My Pal, Neifi Perez. region 1. kkktookmybabyaway vs. 8. Lion in a Coma. kkktookmybabyaway probably is the greatest disjunction between what you would expect a poster to be and what the poster actually is. (It seems like a fearless black guy but turns out to be an extremely conservative white guy.) Nonetheless, the name certainly gets one's attention. Lion in a Coma is a cute little pun. There's not much else to say about it. 4. Duncan Eternia vs. 5. The Ohtani of Time. These posters are not very well known, but they have interesting names. Duncan Eternia... now there is the name of a great king. I imagine that throughout his kingdom, you can find the royal crest: an infinity symbol. In mottos, rhetoric, and even in daily speech, his name would affect the way that people think about the world. There would be a lot of emphasis on persistence, endurance, spiritual life, and other everlasting concepts. The Ohtani of Time is a mysterious-sounding name. 'Ohtani' appears to be a Japanese word that means 'large valley.' I could see this name as being a sequel to The Ocarina of Time. I'm more fascinated by the kingdom than the valley, however. 3. objet petit a vs. 6. johnson316cane. 'objet petit a' is exactly the kind of intellectual, French name that you'd expect from this poster. 'johnson316cane' is a cult classic. It could be so many different things. One possibility that I mentioned before was Dwayne Johnson + Austin 3:16 + misspelled Kane. Another possibility is that it's a fourfold name: John the Baptist + Son of God + John 3:16 + misspelled Cain! I really would like to hear from him. Summon him to this thread. It's difficult to choose, but I'll take the intellectual name. 2. Cowboy13012 vs. 7. Archibald Mutombo. Cowboy13012 is better known as 'Cowboy Numbers.' 13012 looks like a zip code, but it isn't. Did Czech ever threaten him into revealing what the numbers mean? We must admit that being referred to as 'Cowboy Numbers' made him more interesting than being 'Cowboy13012.' Archibald Mutombo sounds like Dikembe had a son with British royalty and now Archibald is in line for the crown. Sounds like a good comedy film. I'm keeping Archibald for another round in order to detail his adventures. kaplanir region 1. Hunter's Torn Quad vs. 8. Oneironaut. Hunter's Torn Quad inspired the Czech parody 'Soriano's Torn Quad' and the self-parody 'Cena's Torn Pec.' Obviously, it's a template name, like Hotbutter Spoontoaster. 'Oneironaut' is a name that many posters might skip over, but I happen to know that 'oneiro' means 'dream.' On one level, it can essentially mean 'dreamboat,' and I find this interpretation humorous. On another level, though, it makes me have fantastic visions of entering into another person's dream and exploring it—like in the game Alundra but with a scientific element to it. I like this name a lot. 4. Sonic Reducer vs. 5. Homeless Guy Spare Some Change. 'Sonic Reducer' sounds like the name of a band. (Obviously, it must be compared to Sonic Youth.) 'Reducer' is an interesting noun, though. Homeless Guy Spare Some Change is just a bizarre name to use on a forum. Contrast it with Shelton Benjamin outta f'in nowhere!. It could perhaps be improved with some punctuation or slight alterations. Thus, I'll take Sonic Reducer. 3. Burning Pirate Ship Sex vs. 6. Hayabusa Moleman. 'Burning Pirate Ship Sex' seems like a name that was intentionally created for the purpose of being an interesting name, but indeed it is. Sex on a burning pirate ship... now there's an image. When I think of Hayabusa Moleman, I imagine Hans Moleman breaking his neck while attempting a springboard moonsault. Since it's Hans Moleman, it's a very funny concept. I'm partial to these kinds of names, but I see potential in the epic tales of burning pirate ship sex. 2. MILPOOL__/ vs. 7. The REAL W.C.W. The key to 'MILPOOL__/' is not quite the name itself but the fact that it is written the way that Milhouse signed Bart's cast. Highly creative. The REAL W.C.W. (hello) was a gimmick of course, but the gimmick was the name. I am amused by that kind of silliness. Look at this MySpace page! But, this contest isn't about how well you can pull off a gimmick. rullmar region 1. alfdogg vs. 8. JupiterMayo. If your name is alfdogg, you're inviting a referendum on ALF. ALF is an appealing absurdity with a bunch of weird douchebags puppeteering it. 'JupiterMayo' makes me think of a combination of the planet Jupiter and O.J. Mayo. It's a basketball-playing planet... but it's simply terrifying, like the feeling of going outside and seeing a gigantic fucking planet taking up the whole sky. Haunting image. 4. Crimson G vs. 5. Dumb Fuck. I'm setting aside Crimson G's posting abilities, honestly. What's interesting about his name is the unexpectedness of 'G' after 'Crimson.' You see the color first and expect a tangible thing next, but no, it's a letter of the alphabet! Or is it a musical note? Mysterious. Intriguing. 'Dumb Fuck' is the most honest name in the history of this forum and caused me to laugh out loud. He can't win, though. 3. Stunt Granny vs. 6. A.BUTCHER'S HOUSE OF RIBS. 'Stunt Granny' sounds like another awful film idea. It's a grandmother who skateboards, or something. Of course there is porn interpretation as well, but I don't care to think about that idea. 'A.BUTCHER'S HOUSE OF RIBS' is similar to the greatness of 'Shelton Benjamin outta f'in nowhere!.' When you see that name, you can't help but be intrigued. 2. Mr. S£im Citrus vs. 7. The 7 Word Bandit. Mr. S£im Citrus gets a bonus for using the symbol for British pounds as an 'l.' It's memorable. Oddly, I can't picture this name very well. How appropriate that The 7 Word Bandit is a 7 seed. The name primes you for what kind of post to expect, making it quite satisfying to see its actualization. I like the choice of 'bandit' as well. It makes him a romantic figure. BRACKET

Ok, post 77 will be about any topic that you choose, DrVenkman PhD. Those girls are certainly attractive. Paris Hilton is also attractive. Any tournament nominees? Get them in before the next post. DANNY GOKEY IS GONE!!!!!!!!! 71. This post is a thread-starter that demonstrates why I wanted to rename the Current Events folder to World. It's not current and it's not about politics, but it's the correct folder for it. Topic Title: In the year 2020 Topic Description: What things will no longer exist? Post: I predict that the following things will not exist (except as historical things) in the United States in the year 2020 CE: * Paper newspapers. They'll be online and on Kindle-like devices. * Paper books. Carrying a paper book around in 2020 will be like carrying a cassette player around in 2009. * CDs/Blu-ray discs. We don't need storage media. You'll save videos on your computer/TV (same thing?). * Cable TV packages. You'll buy the specific channels that you want. * Landline phones. Obsoleted by cell phones. * Wristwatches. Obsoleted by cell phones. * Arcades. So 1980s. * Gasoline-powered vehicles. Because Mr. President is serious about climate change. * Amputees. Any lost body parts will be regenerated. * 3-D glasses. We'll have 3-D without that blue and red stuff. * Many MLB, NBA, and NHL teams. * The belief that life exists only on Earth. What else?

Let's discuss them. Lexi Belle could make it in the weak USA bracket. Jenni Lee is ok but not tournament material. Rebecca Linares, not a chance. Nikki Rhodes, no way. I'm not a freak for redheads. Megan Fox is a joke I'm not in on. She looks good, but being FHM's #1 was absurd. Hayden Panettiere was intentionally excluded. Overrated. Jessica Biel is nothing special. My tournament is based solely on how physically attractive they are—not their personalities nor their sexual abilities. 70. DrVenkman PhD wants attention, and he seems to be interested in grammar, and so let's make an exciting grammar post. But first, I'm announcing that posts 72–76 will be our other tournament: the best usernames in TSM history. This tournament will have 32 participants. Post your nominations, if you have any. "Which" requires a definite antecedent. Change "which" to "that." Either remove the comma or place a "he" after "and." I'd change the "he" before "coaches" to "Belichick" in order to clarify it for the people who don't follow the NFL. I don't like "he's" to mean "he has," either. Always specify "this." This what? You have misplaced "only." You said more than that one statement. His bludgeoning. Possessive case with a gerund. Replace "as" with "since" and put "song" after "this." I think that "e.g.," is the only thing that makes sense in this case. Depth is one example of the many traits. Subjunctive. If I were. Quotes must be exact.

He's fat and his books aren't spellchecked well. I joined this community seven or eight years ago because of his reviews. You know who I am, then? ... Kyle ORTON. (I'm totally drafting him this season.) No. 69. SEX POST. I don't get bizarre porn at all. Why are most porn directors so shitty? * I don't want to see the male's face, ever. Especially not a random cut to it. * I don't want to see the Balls Cam angle. * I don't want to see the back of the girl's head. * When the girl is sucking dick, I want to see her face and tits. * When the girl is getting fucked, I want to see her face, tits, and vagina. * It should either be POV or a near-POV angle. On the subject of creampies, it shouldn't even qualify as a creampie when the guy takes 95% of his dick out of the girl and basically cums on the vulva. A real creampie entails grabbing the girl's hips and jamming the dick in as deep as possible. Why the fuck are you in porn if you're afraid of getting cum inside you? Now, let's reexamine my 64-girl tournament, Miss Cromartie II. I'd still put Sunny Leone as the most attractive girl. Kim Kardashian should have gone farther, and I have doubts about Melina Pitra. If I rank them without the confines of the regional tournament structure, I'd do it this way: 5. Ayesha Takia (India) 4. Alyson Michalka (Ukraine) 3. Kim Kardashian (Armenia) 2. Ashley Tisdale (USA) 1. Sunny Leone (India) I can never really decide, though. As for the three ineligibles, let's project them five years in the future. * Miley Cyrus is not going to age well. * Selena Gomez could turn out ok if she stops looking like she's 10 years old. * Demi Lovato has the best potential. She could pull a Tisdale.

To me, the syntax here implies Mike made an offer of $50 to Leena for his own board. Perhaps you meant to say "Mike's offer for Leena to have the board was $50"? That said, I enjoyed The Simpsons reference. "Offer" is ambiguous because either the seller or the buyer can make the offer. I don't think that your sentence clarifies whether Mike is offering to sell or offering to buy. "Mike offered to sell 2½ months of coownership of the board to Leena for US$50." 68. Let's review my American Idol predictions. 13. Jasmine (13), yay me. 12. I didn't think Jorge (6) was good enough for sixth, but I thought he was this year's guy who would unexpectedly last a long time. (It turned out to be Kris.) 11. Alexis (7) was a surprise to go out so quickly, but I did see her attitude and awkward moves as being problematic before she was eliminated. 10. It's unfortunate that I put Michael (8) two spots too high, because I thought he sucked. 9. Megan (12) survived for a while because of Vote for the Gokey. Cute girl. 8. Scott (5) got bland (to the audience) a little quicker than I thought. 7. or 5. Matt (10) is still a guy I don't get. Who the fuck voted for him? 6. or 7. Lil (4) was the typical "early favorite who has no actual chance of winning." 5. or 6. Anoop (11) was the man, I just thought America wouldn't give him much of a chance. 4. Allison (1) went farther than many expected. She fits in perfectly with the Disney/Demi Lovato types. 3. Kris (9) was getting blasted around here, but it was obvious that (a) he was the only handsome guy and (b) he tries to be original. I didn't place him higher because he seemed weak on personality and vocals. 2. or 1. Adam (3) I don't want him to win. 2. or 1. Danny (2) I REALLY don't want him to win. The biggest crime of the season was that Felicia Barton didn't get invited to the wild card, especially considering whom they did invite.

The title of Venk's post should be Naked Lunch, because I can think of at least two things wrong with it. But he's a fuckin' soldier! When I exploded in Amy's vagina, I wasn't fantasizing about tentacles assraping her. You also thought that black people wouldn't vote for him because "He ain't ones of us!" Please explain to me your frequent usage of the term "nigger." I avoid New York discussion. It was more interesting to have him in it than another 30-post guy. Obviously I liked Anglesault, but, in those days, I was here for the wrestling discussion instead of the self-REFERNCES. I wanted something silly for the 16 seed. I also considered Scott Keith since he signed up and made one post last year. I am. *departs to another forum* Many posters either really want to believe the Peter Z post (and still do) or are confused about the explanation. You asked that question three weeks ago. This forum is for people who are banned for no real good reason from tsm.thelevel-x.net. How's the "We Watch Shitty Old WCW Shows" Club going? Did the Maffs order everyone not to? 67. THIS POST IS ABOUT WWW.BLOCKPOSTERS.COM. Check out the one I made: When you have complete freedom to choose any image ever created, it's difficult to determine the one that is the best and reflects what type of person you are. I find this one inspiring. It demonstrates the physical ability and the will of a human. Shouldn't posters be inspiring instead of merely things that you currently like? I think so.

Hey! It's no secret who my three favorite posters are. Interesting. What's up with that name, "RyechnaiaSobaka"? I didn't notice this poster outside of Czech's 'getting to know you' thread. And that thread was about Sandusky, anyway. What's the beef between you two? I've always had a favorable view of him. I like Kylie. How does it feeeeeeeel in my aaaaaarrrrms? Cheech thinks Leena's a good poster! BAN HIM FROM THEREALTSM!! So what I said was correct? Czech, you can also talk to me about this issue. Please continue. If anything, I'd like to hear your thoughts on the Rookie of the Year Tournament. 66. I didn't love it. It was an entertaining and well-made film. I don't mind that it's . And I like well-developed characters. But, the story was nothing, and it didn't present any innovative ideas that are worth considering or remembering. It's a biography of fictional people, and the only interesting aspect is Spock's struggle with being multiracial. People are just 'marking out' at seeing how the crew of the Enterprise ended up together.

I like you British gents. 65. Czech craves attention, and I promised more Czech in this thread, and so here we are. Two parts of this post confused me: "ugly kids" and "bad hair." I know that you're the handsomest poster at TSM, and, thus, an authority on good male looks. But, I refer you to an answer provided by Ms. Xxlove&&peaceXx on Yahoo! Answers:[1] Czech, are you jealous because the girls go after the hot guys? Why are the Jo Bros on all of the teen magazine covers if they're ugly? Look at the comments in Tiger Beat's gallery![2] What's wrong with their hair? Are you one of those people who demands that men have MANLY haircuts (viz., very short)? If you have good, thick hair, why cut it? Show it off. You will get comments like this one:[3]

£33.26, at the minute. 64. This post sums it all up perfectly. Hey, it's ok—and actually encouraged—to call out theone and anyone else when they make a bad post. But why the need for everyone to jump on the bandwagon?

63. Mike's offer to Leena for the board was 2½ months for US$50.

62. On yesterday's PTI program, Mr. Michael Wilbon had a memorable quote:[1] Well, you NBA guys can discuss whether "Yao Ming had a major breakthrough." I don't follow the NBA that closely. (Nonetheless, I was 8 for 8 in first-round picks. I'll let you know if I win the Facebook bracket.) Article 1: Whether Bill Plaschke is not the best columnist in the United States. Objection 1. It seems that Bill Plaschke is the best columnist in the United States. For he once was named National Sports Columnist of the Year by the Associated Press. Reply to Objection 1. [2]. I hate when writers warp reality. And, yesterday, he also wrote the following in the "Yao's a faker" column: I'm shocked that a columnist who hates advanced statistical analysis doesn't understand Shane Battier's value.[3] Look at the way he makes nonsensical excuses for Kobe. He would "be hittin' 9-1-1 if Kobe had gone down with the slightest injury." Plaschke is such a douche.

61. Well, there's not much to talk about around here, and so I'll respond to posts from the forums to which I'm transitioning. Someone posted the Vegas over/under odds for victories in the NFL for the 2009 season. Let's take a look and comment. I'll bold the six picks that I'd bet on. Patriots 12 - Over. The schedule looks difficult, but they're the best. Steelers 11 - Over. Because I hate them. Giants 10.5 - Over. Barely. The WRs should be good enough. Chargers 10.5 - Over. My bro Antonio is healthy again. Colts 10.5 - Over. They're the Colts. Cowboys 9.5 - Under. *Collapsing building joke.* Cardinals 9 - Over. The playoff run was the real Cardinals. Eagles 9 - Under. This year's version of the Browns. Packers 8.5 - Under. They're adjusting to the 3-4. Saints 8.5 - Under. Tough schedule. Ravens 8.5 - Over. Soft schedule. Falcons 8 - Over. They're becoming the Colts of the NFC. Vikings 8.5 - Over. It's this low only because of the potential DT suspensions. Titans 8.5 - Over. Dash will be improved. Panthers 8.5 - Over. Are they suddenly not awesome at rushing? Bears 8 - Under. WAH BUTTHURT. Redskins 8 - Under. They took Brian Orakpo-Gholston instead of a right tackle. Dolphins 8 - Under. Back to reality. Texans 8 - Over. Playoffs?! Jets 8 - Under. They're starting Mark Sanchez. Jaguars 8 - Under. But I like their draft picks. Bills 7.5 - Under. They seem desperate. Seahawks 7.5 - Under. Better than last season, but they're in denial about rebuilding. Broncos 7.5 - Under. They have no d-line. 49ers 7 - Under. The division will be tougher. Browns 6.5 - Under. Does Mangini like anyone on this team? Buccaneers 6.5 - Under. Freeman should be good in 2010, though. Chiefs 5.5 - Over. Potential playoff contender. Bengals 5.5 - Over. Carson Palmer returns and they upgraded their o-line. Raiders 5.5 - Under. They're lucky to have Nnamdi Asomugha. Rams 5 - Over. They should be a credible team again this season. Lions 5 - Under. They've done nothing significant to improve their defense.

60. Don't you think that "The Trial of Xavier Cromartie" would potentially be a fun thread? On the defense side would be myself and my lawyer(s) like Cheech. On the prosecution side would be 909 and whoever else doesn't like me (Twisted Intestine, Giuseppe Zangara, NYU, etc.). Czech could be the judge if he's not just passing the buck to "people who are higher in the board's chain of command." The 12 jurors would have to be reasonable posters, like Crimson G, Edwin, bob_barron, Sandusky, Dandy, Franchise, etc. The best part would be surprise witnesses (each more surprising than the last, of course). I call to the stand... Carnival! I call to the stand... Hotbutter Spoontoaster!! I call to the stand... Cancer Marney!!! There would be opening and closing arguments. How the testimony would generally work is that, first, one side would submit a number of questions. The other side could object, and Czech would have the power cut and reword them. Then, the poster/witness would answer them all. The side would get a followup post for more questions after hearing the answers. Czech would check them again, and the poster/witness would answer again. Then the other side would get their turn, using the same formula. Czech would be free to demand better questions and answers. It should feel pretty naturally for him. I would likely be the final witness. "Have you ever engaged in account sharing?" "No." "Are you planning to do so?" "No." Good argument, fellas. It would be more successful than Gang Warz II, at least.

............................... 59. I promised two drafts and one more tournament. Since I do exactly what I say I'm going to do, here is the first draft. It's in the spirit of a typical draft that you'd see the the Draft folder. The hypothetical scenario is that the U.S. gets into such economic trouble that it has to sell itself off, state by state, to 10 rich countries. In their selections, they generally look for the best combination of economy, population, and space. But, it wouldn't be as fun without a few drafters who "play by their own rules." * Russia is the Al Davis of the draft. Instead of drafting by the stopwatch, they draft by the ruler—making land grabs. * Switzerland treats the "uncool" states like "dogshit." The states have to be "cool" to be drafted by them. (OMG allegory?) * The Dutch draft only liberal states. * Somalia picks MN and OH because they have the highest Somali populations. Next, they pick IA and KS because they need food. Finally, they get the worst state imposed on them by the other nations.

I seems that my lawyer, Mr. Tremendous, is not coming. Does he know that Mike's ban on him was removed? If he's not coming, then I will be looking for a new lawyer. That's good to hear. I would think that most members feel that way. (Perhaps some of them not only tolerate me but like me?) If we decide to accept the exclusionary criteria offered by Mr. Floyd (no unpopular posters) and Mr. Cucaracha (no disruptive posters), then, as SuperJerk just said, do I deserve to be excluded? 58. I like timely entries. Since today is the Kentucky Derby, I'll write a little bit about gambling. I'm no expert on horse racing, but it does interest me. I've been to Canterbury Park many times. This year's derby is wide open. If I were betting, I'd do a trifecta box on (16) Pioneerof [sic] the Nile, (7) Papa Clem, and (10) Regal Ransom. But, you see... I'm philosophically opposed to the idea of gambling my own money. And by gambling, I mean that there's a 50% or less chance of winning. Because at that point, it means that I'm not facing reality. It's not about ethics or anything. It's just more likely than not that I'll lose the money, and I'm not going to deny that reality. But, sure, I'd like to become rich instantly. I play free lotteries online (AdJack and BoxLotto). Obviously I play free games that have prizes for winning, since I won the 2007 NFL Draft Forecast. I play card and casino games for fun, as well. I don't need money to encourage me to play to win, but I'll take it as a bonus for winning. Handicapping football games is something that I'm still considering. In 2008, my record was 69-48 (59%), and that was after I faded pretty badly down the stretch. I think I'll see how I do in 2009, and if I'm still in the 55–65% range, then I'll consider either placing actual bets or, more preferably, selling my weekly picks. Stocks? No. I will discuss gold and silver in a future post, however.

I wish to speak with my lawyer, Mr. Cheech Tremendous, J.D. Hey, Gary Floyd, are we still on friendly terms? 57. Jingus's comments are all very good and worthy of a detailed response. Remember that the primary goal is to complete the game in the absolute minimal time, even if it means using glitches to break the game. Often, much of the desired entertainment comes from the shock of seeing the player abuse the game in ways that the programmers never imagined. For Nurse Edna, I switched screens at the exact moment before capture. The character sprites overlap, but the actual hitboxes do not. You probably know of the glitch in which you enter the kitchen, switch screens, and switch back in order to make Edna disappear. What happened at the Meteor is not a glitch. When the Meteor kills a kid, it is by firing a green projectile. I simply manipulated the luck so that it didn't fire a projectile at the kid. What happened at the Tentacles are glitches. (I'm the person who discovered both of those glitches, as well.) At Green Tentacle, I click on NEW KID in order to prevent Green Tentacle from stopping the kid. However, the kid cannot enter the next room by doing only that act. I let him get to the top of the stairs, switch kids, and switch back. I found that the kid is able to exit the screen before Green Tentacle's "stop the kid" programming kicks in. The stuff I did with the doorbell is what allows the kid to bypass Purple Tentacle. As you probably know, when you enter a screen with one of the house members (e.g., Ed's or Edna's room), switch screens, and switch back, they do not chase you. Instead, they are frozen. The programmers disabled the NEW KID menu in Purple Tentacle's room (the outer lab) for this reason. But, because the doorbell causes the screen change to Weird Ed, Purple Tentacle is frozen when the screen switches back. Like I said, these movies are way more difficult to produce than they look, because you have to discover these kinds of things. Ghosts 'n Goblins is very difficult indeed. My favorite parts of the video are (1) where I use a bird to escape from the house on level 2 and (2) where I use a fireball to boost up to the next floor on level 6. The torch is actually required for the maneuver that I do at the first ladder of the house on level 2. The enemy will run into the knight unless the torch slows him down. The two bosses at the end of level 2 are the biggest nightmare that I have ever encountered while making these videos. You're right about the dragons. You have to hit them in the head six times. That's what I do. If an enemy appears to explode on contact, then one of two things are happening. One possibility is that they get burned up by one of the torches that I've thrown. The other is a minor glitch. Yes, they actually do pass through the knight. But if the firing of a shot is timed exactly right, then it confuses the poorly programmed game. The knight escapes without damage, whereas the enemy is damaged or killed. Also, when the purple projectile appears to hit the knight in level 2, it misses the actual hitbox of the knight, and so it does not register as a hit. A lot of the videos on the site are similarly extremely glitched. The "pursuit of perfection" (as Kinetic would surely agree to call it) has led to some fantastic creativity.

56. I don't think I ever posted in the Video Games folder. Let's talk about TASVideos. I've been involved with the TAS community since it started in December 2003. (I'm known by the alias "Arc" there.) Basically, the idea of a TAS is to attempt to complete games as fast as theoretically possible and to make an entertaining movie while doing so. It's much more difficult than it looks. You have to not only execute the key presses but manipulate luck and thoroughly plan your strategies. I made a lot of movies and updates over the years, all for NES games. Not so much lately, but I'm hoping to get back into it eventually. Anyway, here are my two best movies: NES Ghosts 'n Goblins completed in 08:23.13. NES Maniac Mansion completed in 06:29.77. I just watched SNES Chrono Trigger completed in 21:23.98. I have new appreciation for the factory scene in which Robo says, "These are my friends! R-64Y, R-67Y, and R-69Y! Good to see you!" and then the six purple robots all gang up on him.

55. Here's an interesting post that 909 made to snuffbox in the gay marriage thread. Says the guy who "ran away like a bitch" two days later to start an exclusive private forum. Wasn't the new forum supposed to be about replacing Mike as admin? Says the guy who has no logical argument and just repeats "friend of leeter friend of leeter friend of leeter." Says the guy who had been confronted for the last month and said nothing other than the lie mentioned in 54. Says the coward who is so terrified of the thought of Leena that he prejudicedly bans an innocent poster. "I'm just pointing out how fucking lame that is."

54. 909 said that? Seriously? Because here's what he said to me in a private conversation: So he is a liar as well as admittedly elitist? That argument is a joke. I would "likely" share an account with her? LIKELY? No, I would not. Why would I do that? When have I ever done anything like that? His prejudice and his assumption that I am not honest is rather insulting. I'm an independent individual. My personality is very different from hers. My desire to join has nothing to do with her. It does not involve her in any way. TSM is the forum that I like to go to in order to read people's opinions about whatever, because I respect the writing ability of members like objet petit a and Czech. And he still calls her Leeter. That shows what he knows (nothing). How is it entirely counterproductive? My usual posts are just analyses of things I'm interested in, like Somalia, President Obama, the NFL, NCAA basketball, literature, graphics, and so on.

53. There it is. After one month, finally, an official declaration of the reason for banishment. "Unwavering devotion" is incorrect. It is friendship and it has wavered. We didn't talk to each other for a significant chunk of 2007, and we were on fairly rocky terms for a while in February/March 2009. But, naturally we prefer to be friends (who prefers to be enemies?), and eventually we return to a friendly state. Why do you care with whom I choose to be friends? She reads and replies to what I write, and I'm grateful that she does so. I enjoy reading what she has to say about things, even though we often disagree, because I respect her intelligence. You know that, politically, she's very right-wing whereas I'm clearly left-wing, but I like to read a different perspective than my own and try to understand it. There is a zero percent chance that I would sell out any of my true friends. "A transgendered weirdo" is petty trolling. She's a girl. "Who has managed to righteously annoy people who are higher in the board's chain of command than I am." Sure, no one is suggesting that she be allowed to join your forum. (She has no interest in doing so anyway.) The question is, how does it relate to me? You're still making the Sarah Palin guilt-by-unrelated-association argument. Have I done anything on the forum worthy of a ban? I'm not involved with any of the conflicts between her and the Maffs. I'm peaceful and empathetic. I'm really indefinitely banned from a forum for refusing to hate someone? Sorry, I'm not good at hating people. Why wasn't it a problem that I was her friend when you guys were in charge here? I imagine that it would have looked pretty nonsensical and appalling for a mod to, out of the blue, ban me for communicating with a person with whom the mod personally does not like. Now, when she's finally gone from this community, it's acceptable to do so? How would my presence negatively affect your forum? I'm not going to go around crusading on her behalf. I wouldn't even mention her. As I've said, I just want to read and post like usual.

Is this statement directed only at SuperJerk, or is it for everyone? It seems to conflict with this statement, made one week ago: I'm under the impression that I'm never getting in to the 'big league.' I was denied twice and haven't heard any indication that anything has changed. And it's not because of my posting quality or my personality or anything actually relevant to the forum, but because I enjoy conversing with my friend Leelee on Facebook and on my blog. Is that correct? 52. I wrote another NFL Draft entry on my blog that I'd like to share. I'll likely move on to another topic for post 53. A useful draft grade: how much did Bill Belichick fleece his trade partners? Most NFL teams use a form of the draft trade chart that was devised in the 1990s by Jimmy Johnson. This chart never made any sense to me. Based only on talent (instead of contract size), would you rather have pick 1 or picks 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, and 70? They're both worth 3000 points. Bill Belichick understands that the Johnson draft trade chart severely undervalues players from the mid first round through the end of the third round. For example, look at the Patriots' trade with the Packers in the 2009 Draft. New England traded picks 26 and 162 (727.6 points) for picks 41, 73, and 83 (890). Even under the Johnson DTC, this trade is lopsided for New England. But it's even worse when a much better chart is used. The Johnson DTC simply looked at a few trades that occurred in the late 80s and early 90s and figured out what picks were valued at. In 2009, we have advanced statistical analysis that can tell us what picks should be worth. Thus, in Pro Football Prospectus 2008, the FootballOutsiders.com writers offered us the Actual Draft Value Chart. According to this chart, picks 26 and 162 are worth 2355 points, whereas picks 41, 73, and 83 are worth 3335 points. The difference is the value of an early third-rounder under the Actual DVC, whereas it's only a late third-rounder under the Johnson DTC. Let's see how many points the Patriots gained overall according to the Actual DVC. The trade of Ellis Hobbs for picks 137 and 141 will be considered numerically equal. Thus, I will give them pick 99 with an asterisk to represent Hobbs. A 2010 pick will be considered to be worth the median value of its round (second-rounder = 45*). Patriots' picks when the draft began (23, 34, 47, 58, 89, 97, 99*, 124, 170, 199, 207, 234): 9317.4 points. Patriots' picks after the draft ended (34, 40, 41, 45*, 45*, 58, 83, 97, 123, 170, 198, 207, 232, 234): 11412.8 points. The Patriots gained 2095.4 points this weekend. That's approximately the value of the 28th overall pick in the draft. The Patriots got the equivalent value of an extra late first round pick for free. Patriots' draft grade: A+.