vivalaultra

If I don't win this shit, it'll be the biggest robbery since DJ lost out the AL MVP to Justin Mourneau. I'm neither naive or eternally hopeful, but, I am an English major and an Astros fan, so I have a tendency to be verbose. I liken myself to a young Polonius, who said that "brevity is the soul of wit" and then proceeded to chew up scenery for several more pages. I could put the picture of me and my brother giving Brandon Backe and Jason Lane bunny-ears in my signature, but that would be overkill. And if I'm a homer, at least I'm a homer for a competitive team. It's not like I'm a homer for the Devil Rays or the Arizona Cardinals or something... And what's so bad about Greg Vaughn? Dude was 4th in the MVP voting with a .245 batting average. Career .990 fielding percentage doesn't look too shabby. I'd stick him in CF and bat him 6th.

I haven't been to many concerts this year...I am poor, but attractive. 1. Sufjan Stevens-(Austin, TX Sept. 15th)-Absolutely wonderful. Very beautiful venue and a very beautiful concert. 2. TV on the Radio-(Austin, TX Sept. 16th)-They only played 45 minutes, but it was the most exciting 45 minutes I've had in a very long while 3. The Flaming Lips-(Austin, TX Sept. 17th)-Yeah, it was good...with the blow up spacemen and kids dressed like Santa Claus and whatnot. 4. Devendra Banhart-(Houston, TX Dec. 2005)-It counts because it was in the last calender year...and no indie kids were tazed by cops. 5. TV on the Radio-(Houston, uh...sometime around June, 2006)-The sound system was jacked up, but any TV on the Radio concert is gonna make my top concerts list. 6. Damian "Jr. Gong" Marley-(Austin, TX Sept. 17th)-Jr. Gong threw down...and I bought my Colombian hat that day. 7-10. Iron and Wine, Gnarls Barkley, Jose Gonzalez, Massive Attack (Austin, TX Sept. 15th-17th)-They were all at Austin City Limits and all very good. I could stretch some more bands from Austin City Limits in there, but meh...I didn't realize that I only went to...3 concerts this year. I wanted to go to more, but lack of funds and my enjoyment of eating and driving my car afforded me little opportunity to go to concerts.

The Jayson Stark column where he alludes to Bud Selig getting mad at the Astros for offering Carlos Lee $100 million, and thus, making them not want to offer Andy more than $14 million doesn't make any sense. Considering Alfonso Soriano got $118 million, I don't see how $18 million less for the 2nd best FA hitter could raise the ire of the Commish. And, the Astros actually offered $12 million less to Lee than did the SF Giants. It's not like offering a top of the line FA a hundred million dollar contract was a ridiculous, unheard of move this offseason. It's not like the 'Stros offered $55 million to Gary Matthews, Jr. or $28 million to Jason Marquis or anything. And I'm also quite certain that the signing of Carlos Lee had nothing to do with the non-signing of Pettitte; the Astros' Front Office just don't think he's worth $30 million over the next two seasons. There's already alot of money tied up for next season in Berkman, Oswalt, and Carlos Lee, so signing Andy Pettitte for two years would've almost certainly taken them out of the running of trying to land a Vernon Wells or someone like that in the '07 offseason. I must also state that I'm more sad to see Russ Springer go to the Cardinals than I am to see Pettitte go to the Yankees. I loved Big Spring.

The Astros offered 1 yr./$14 million. They would've went higher in the dollar amount, but they weren't going to go more than one year. Pettitte and his agents wanted a one-year deal with a player option for a 2nd. The Astros didn't want to do that. I can understand why. That would just give Andy the right to do the whole "Will he or won't he?" thing again next season. Player options are stupid. At least go for a mutual option.

Suppose, hypothetically, that the 07 season starts and the Astros come out of the gates hotter than Hell. Berkman and Carlos Lee lead the charge of the "Slammin' Stros"! Roger Clemens, sitting in his season tickets behind homeplate, likes what he sees and decides on May 1st that he likes it at home; he likes the arrangement he has in Houston, so he decides to lace up the cleats for another half season. Clemens tears it up, going 10-1 with an ERA in the low 1's. The Astros easily win the division with an 8.5 game lead over the Cubs. Meanwhile, over in the AL, Andy Pettitte's comeback goes pretty well; he finishes the season with a 15-8 record and an ERA of 4.50. Of course, the Yankees win their division. Back in the NL, the 'Stros rampage through the NLDS and the NLCS while the Yankees make it all the way to the World Series. Suppose, on top of that, the National League won the All-Star game. Then the World Series features the Astros against the Yankees. It all comes down to Game 7 at Minute Maid Park with a pitching matchup of Clemens vs. Pettitte. That would be...interesting, to say the least. It'll never come down to that, though, for, in order for this scenario to take place, the National League would actually have to win the All-Star game...and that, of course, will never, ever, ever happen.

Hmmm...I guess Andy Pettitte's New York mistress makes better eggs than his wife. Hopefully for him and the Yankees he doesn't have a first half like he did in 2006. At least now we won't have to go through this "Will he or won't he?" saga with Clemens and Pettitte. Now we can go through the whole "He's a fuckin' traitor!" saga. I certainly hope that the #2 starter the Astros are shooting for is a good lefty...otherwise Wandy Rodriguez is gonna get in the rotation somewhere. Edit: And now I just heard on the radio that the Astros are entering negotiations for Barry Zito. This is going to get worse before it gets better.

Well, if the Cubs sign Jason Marquis (and for more than the amount that I jokingly put forth the other day), he and Ted Lilly will nearly counteract the homerun power of Alfonze Soriano. Lilly gave up 28 last year in 180 innings and Marquis gave up 35(!) in 194 innings.

This is extremely creepy for me, personally, for a few reasons, not the least of which is the raping and murdering thing. Anyway, I used to live in the exact proximity of where this guy was killing people. I lived in Houma, LA for...several years, before I moved down to Houston in 2001. It's weird to read or see news stories about a serial killer and know exactly where all the places they're talking about are, having been to or through most of them myself. And, even though I didn't do drugs or look to have gay sex for money, I and my other friends did have a penchant for walking the streets late at night. And, I actually knew one of the victims; I believe it was the 18th victim, a 23-year old guy named Kurt. He was one of the nicest guys I've ever met. I knew he had it rough and that he indulged in alot of substances, but I didn't know that he was apparently homeless and living under a bridge since the age of 9. When I was 16, I got him a job working with me at Burger King, but he quit after a day or so. My sister didn't like him because when we were young, he took a piece of pizza she was eating and took a bite and then spit it back out on her plate. After I moved down to Texas in 01, I lost touch with most of the people from down there, but I had heard that Kurt died last year. I assumed it was a drug overdose or something like that and then earlier this week, when they caught this guy, I see my old friend's face all over the news. It's just...really odd. Really, really odd.

Jon Garland is nowhere on Peavy or Willis's lev-... actually, yeah do anything you can do to get Garland. Offer Berkman. That's the ticket. If it comes down to offering Willy Taveras/Buchholz to get Jon Garland in the rotation or waiting on Pettitte and starting Wandy Rodriguez, jump on Garland. But, yeah...Garland's nowhere near Peavy or Willis. I'd venture to say that Hirsh will be better by 2008 than Garland. I'd be ok with throwing Hirsh into a Peavy or Willis deal, but not Garland.

The White Sox/'Stros thing is getting dumb. After the report on SI.com that Buchholz had failed a physical, the Houston Chronicle contacted him and he's said that he hasn't taken a physical in the last year and a half. Kenny Williams is quoted as saying that he's "disturbed" about how the rumored deal leaked before being finalized. According to most sources, the deal is more dead than alive, but there's still a small chance that something materializes. Other sources in Houston are under the impression that the whole deal was a ploy on the Astros' part to force the hand of Pettitte. I, however, would like to think that the Astros' front office is not waiting with their collective thumb up their collective ass for Rog and Andy to swoop in on winged feet and save them. I say, if Andy's NYC mistress is better in the sack than his wife, he should go to New York, and if the Astros have to opportunity to trade for a Jon Garland or a Jake Peavy or a Dontrelle Willis, they should jump on that shit. Even if Andy and Roger come back to Houston, it's just gonna be the same thing next offseason. Nut up or shut up, mang. Houston can't compete with New York on a monetary level, but if Andy's genuine about wanting to spend time with his family and with his sick father, he'll accept a slightly smaller deal to stay in Houston. Oh, and the Astros might've made a good deal in the Rule V draft today. They got some name Holdzkom from the Cubs. His stats look impressive.

Latest word is that the Taveras/Buchholz/Hirsh? for Garland deal fell through because Taylor Buchholz failed his physical. How the Hell does a guy that's not on the disabled list fail a physical? If he's been hiding an injury, that would explain his enormous dropoff last season. Perhaps a deal with Taveras/another Astros' pitching prospect besides Hirsh for Garland could happen.

The Astros have traded Willy Taveras and Taylor Buchholz to the ChiSox for John Garland according to the Houston Chronicle. I like that deal much more than the Willy T/Burke for Jason Jennings trade. Having John Garland behind Roy Oswalt in the rotation is going to be very, very good. Presuming this deal doesn't price us out of the Pettitte sweepstakes, that's gonna be a killer rotation. Edit: Jason Hirsh is supposedly part of the deal, too. Kenny Williams says no deal is close. Ah well, who the Hell knows anymore?

This new posting thing is weird... If Wandy Rodriguez's Latino-ness can get him a spot on a club that's not Houston, I'll cheer. A couple weeks on Astroline, Tim Purpura was on and they had like...12 people that called in just to bitch at him and call him racist because he fired Preston Wilson and there aren't any Latino players on the Astros, supposedly. However, I can think of several Latino Astros...alot of them aren't very good, but, still...they're there.

Well, at least it clears up a rotation spot for Brandon McCarthy...but Gavin Floyd and a prospect? Oy vey...I heard Houston was willing to give up Jason Hirsh and Ensberg for Garcia...or Vasquez. Thank the Lord that didn't happen. And according to the Houston Chronicle, the Astros are looking at Josh Bard and the Mets are inquiring about Wandy Rodriguez. If there's a Santa Clause, he'll send Wandy to the Mets. Oh please, let Wandy go to the Mets.

Speaking of mediocre pitching, has anybody heard anything about Jason Marquis? The Cubs should offer him at least 3/$24 million the way this offseason's been going.

Hey now, My Clam doesn't just play 1st. He can also play some 3rd and outfield. And he's the emergency catcher. You might say he's the "pearl" of the Astros bench... Wait...do clams make pearls? Or is that just oysters? What's the difference between clams and oysters? Is an oyster a female clam? What's the deal there?

I aims ta please.

ESPN and the Houston Chronicle have just put out a report saying that Andy Pettitte WILL, in fact, return for the '07 season and it will either be with the Yanks or the 'Stros. On ESPN 790 AM, Astros' GM Tim Purpura just said that he is, at this moment, in negotiations with Alan and Randy Hendricks, the agents for Andy Pettitte. I take that and the fact that the Yankees are apparently making a strong push to sign Ted Lilly as good signs that Pettitte will be back in a Houston uniform next season...to play beside his friend My Clam.

Playing Civ 4, eh? They have Civ 4 now? Shit, I'm behind the times; I haven't played Civ 2 or 3 yet. Maybe that's what I'll do on New Year's Eve...get caught up on computer games...and then have lots of sex...drunken, plentiful sex.

I'm going to do the same thing I do every nite...try to take over the world!!!!!!!1!1111!!!1!!!1!!!!!

Good Lord, the Red Sox have spent, today, more money than the entire payroll of the Florida Marlins and the Pittsburgh Pirates combined!

So, with the JD Drew signing, does that mean that Wily Mo rides the pine again? Down in Astroland, Andy Pettitte's agents have refuted claims that a deal was "close" with the Yankees, calling it erroneous and saying "There is nothing within striking distance with the Yankees," Hendricks said. "He first has to decide if he wants to play. He hasn't decided that." Other reports say that Pettitte's leaning towards pitching again in 2007 and the Astros are his primary choice. As far as Roger Clemens, he said today that he's planning on going to Astros' Spring Training in Kissimee to "work with the kids" but beyond that, he doesn't know yet. Even if Clemens and Pettitte B.F.F. do come back to Houston, I still hope that something gets done to land a mid-level starter via trade.

Well, it was a result of fan balloting and since Hawk is the biggest homer in baseball, I can see where he'd get a lot of Sox fan support.

To that, I say...Poppycock!

Gilgamesh for Gil Meche AND My Clam for Mike Lamb in one post? You've outdone yourself. Another reason to feel bad for Orioles fans...apparently, the Orioles' FO contacted the agent of Jeff Bagwell because they really, really wanted Baggy to be their DH. However, Bagwell would rather retire.