Jingus

I worked at a movie theater one time. This one hot Saturday in the middle of summer, we had some people call in sick so there were only three of us in the whole lobby; me and a chick working the concessions, and the manager in the ticket booth. Well, since it's a weekend and the theater was next to an always-crowded mall and we only had one guy selling tickets, we naturally grew a long line out front of the building. And suddenly out of nowhere this random old woman charged back behind the concessions stand and started screaming at us, that the line outside was too long and we're working too slow and she wants to talk to the manager RIGHT NOW. Me: "The manager is the guy selling tickets. Neither of us know how to run those registers, and nobody else is here." So she gets pissed and storms out. I had to be told by others that the crazy bitch was the mom in the Judds... either Wynona or Naomi, I don't know which and still don't care.

That's one of the stupidest ideas I've ever heard. The ENTIRE POINT of I Am Legend is that the main character is the LAST guy on Earth. Why bother even keeping the same title if you're gonna change it that much? The worst part: the studios have tried this exact same thing before, with the exact same source material. Any big fans of The Omega Man out there? Anyone? Didn't think so.

Um, earth to CNN, teen pregnancy numbers are WAY down from ten previous decades.

Yikes. I hope that in the near future we're not naming off Crash Holly, Road Warrior Hawk, Curt Hennig, The Wall/Malice, and Kurt Angle in the same sentence.

I hope he does come back, and I hope he goes to ECW. Raw and Smackdown are already overloaded with so many "big stars" that there would be a long line indeed for the inevitable Jobichos. On the other hand, Christ would be a perfect fit for ECW. He's a good worker, a great talker, can play either face or heel effectively, can be either comedic or serious, all that stuff. And best of all, he's a true original ECW veteran, but he worked in the upper midcard of WWE for so long that the office probably forgot all about Jericho's extreme tenure and would actually push him instead of jobbing him to vampires.

"Fuck you, Russo." Yeah, that's what I'm expecting too. I've wondered that too. If that is the plan, then it's gotta be Paul E's idea, because the whole angle is being handled way too subtly for it to be a Gerwitz or McMahon production. Even the announcers haven't mentioned anything along those lines, so it makes me wonder if Heyman is quietly sneaking his own agenda into the storylines. Why reveal them at all? They're just a couple of rent-a-cops, security goons for hire. That's their whole gimmick. Nobody has even speculated on who they might really be. You're absolutely correct. My prediction: Punk jobs to the vampire. Yet another lame show. Only three matches, and none of them were any good. Heyman does the exact same thing to Sabu that the McMahons did to DX the night before. Sandman gets the crap beat out of him by a fucking schoolteacher. Dupree and Moore do the same go-nowhere promos they've been doing for the past month. They waste five minutes plugging The Marine while more than half the roster doesn't even appear on TV. Christ this show sucks.

Way to spoil my lazy joke with the truth, Spoony.

Well, that explains why he hasn't taken his shirt off in a while.

Styles was a failure. He let Lawler and especially Coach run all over him, and barely even tried to get a word in edgewise. That's not all his fault; Joey was obviously intimidated as hell by working on "the flagship sports entertainment show", and he's never really had to deal before with a color commentator who just won't shut up. But the fact of the matter is that he just didn't do well in that spot.

How so? Jeff jumped, but Randy just sat there against the barricade and didn't even attempt to catch him.

Goldberg wasn't main eventing. Let's take a look: Bash at the Beach 1999: Goldberg vs. Curt Hennig underneath, Hogan/Rodman vs. DDP/Mailman was the main. Road Wild 1999: Goldberg was in a meaningless battle royale underneath Hogan/Bischoff vs. Leno/DDP. Fall Brawl 1999: Goldberg in the worst wargames match ever along with five hundred other guys. Halloween Havoc: now THIS was a neat trick. Goldberg/DDP was the main... but Hogan/Warrior II and the rest of the show went so long that the PPV feed got cut and nobody saw it! So no, Goldberg was NOT pushed as the biggest star when he had the belt.

Hmmm... well... yah. But still. Kitten > snake.

And why the fuck are some of you excited that Masters is back? Haven't you seen any of his matches ever? He's easily the worst wrestler not named Khali on the WWE payroll.

I liked it too. And don't forget "He's slower than government aid to New Orleans." To all the JR-haters: who could actually do his job better? Joey Styles? A proven failure in the Raw environment. Michael Cole? Don't make me laugh. Gabe Sapolsky? Nevermind, I just made myself laugh. What about that one dive out of the ring where Orton clearly fucked up whatever had been called and Jeff crashed and burned into the security railing?

What about RVD and especially Orton's run with the belt in '03-04? They did a nice job of making the title seem like it meant something then.

Aw shit, is THAT how that angle ended?! Jesus. I remember the basic storyline (Tammy kidnapped Boo's kitten and had it in a bag at ringside, and she'd constantly threaten to squash it if Boo didn't do exactly what she and Candido told him too) but I never did remember how it ended. As a confirmed cat fan, just the mere thought of that angle makes me feel all cold & empty around the abdominal cavity. And they ended it with the heels actually KILLING the poor thing?! That's a great example to throw in the face of the "Cornette is the GREATIST BOOKER EVAH" crowd. Well, at least we now know where the inspiration for the whole "Bossman cooks Pepper" angle came from.

Somehow, I think you're both probably right. Why do they still bother booking these stupid "badass wrestler vs. pussy nonwrestler" matches? They only ever have two possible outcomes: either the wrestler quickly trashes and pins the nonwrestler in about a minute (see most Coachman and Bischoff matches over the past few years) or there's the inevitable run-in by whoever the wrestler is currently feuding with and the whole thing was just a scam. Neither one of them is ever satisfying, because we never get anything resembling a real match.

Problem is, the behavioral profiling is nowhere near perfect. It flags completely innocent people all the time, and sometimes ignores real terrorists. There's no standardized body language for the entire human race. Except for that one American kid with the shoe bomb, every single terrorist who has attempted attacks on airplanes and American targets in the past five years has been an adult male Muslim of Middle Eastern decent. In this case, I don't think racial profiling is racism: it's simple math. Muslim Terrorists: 100% Non-Muslim Terrorists: 0. So why should we not scrutinize Muslim men more carefully than any other demographic?

Things like this make Jingu$ smile.

We can blame that on the French though. We could if the city hadn't originally been founded by Spanish colonists.

Yikes. Talk about a deluded, frothing-at-the-mouth bitch. Any word on how the polls are showing her election chances?

I'm not an LAX fan. A Homicide fan, sure. But Hernandez? Hell, the first time he ever appeared on TNA ppv (back in Nashville as part of "Jarrett's Army"), my exact words were "Goddammit, is that Hotstuff Hernandez? FUCK." He's a big clumsy steroid monster with a track record of injuring people and has to be carried like a big bloated backpack if you want a decent match out of him.

If they signed him, Angle would be the single biggest catch that TNA has ever gotten. He's by far a better worker than Sting and more respected among serious fans, and he's a much bigger name than Raven or Christian. HOWever, if they signed him, I kinda expect Angle to be dead within the next couple of years, so I really hope it doesn't happen.

Exactly. Look at how Foley jobbing to Orton helped get him over as a serious main eventer. Yeah, kayfabe's dead, but the marks still tend to respect a guy a lot more if he's a winner rather than a loser.

Um... was there even ONE advertised match that actually occured as planned? (Okay, Joe vs. Corino... TWO advertised matches?!) I just recently bought the dvd of Ballpark Brawl from a year or two ago (the one with Sabu/Styles/Hart in a Table Ladder & Chair match), and... it was actually pretty crappy. The production was typical lame indy: cameras that aren't properly focused, bad editing, annoying amateurish commentary, the works. And beyond that: most of the matches, well, sucked. Somehow a really good card on paper turned out to be a massive disappointment in reality.