Jingus

Four words: World Champion Justin Credible. But seriously, the ECW fans aren't THAT mindless. Paul E. and his crew knew them so well that they could pretty much manipulate them however they wanted. But there have been plenty of instances where the fans shit on something that was supposed to get over.

No. There aren't. Kurt's most RECENT injuries include a torn groin, a pulled abdominal muscle, and a torn hamstring. Any ONE of those is a legitimately serious injury which would put anyone on the disabled list. And that's not even getting into all his prior problems with his back, knees, shoulders, musculature, and especially his beyond-fucked neck. Not "damn near all". All. Period. Once you've been in the business for more than a few months, the pain never really goes away. Um, yeah there is. Ever been on oxycontin? Believe me, no matter how bad the pain, there's always something strong enough out there to kill it. Well, on the one hand you claim to know nothing, but on the other hand insist that Angle's injuries aren't that bad and that he's hooked on pain pills for reasons not invovling actual pain. Which is it? Um. Damn near all of 'em? But if I had to name just one, I'd say his match with Austin at Summerslam 2001. It's one of the finest examples of pure storytelling in a wrestling ring, even including the cheapass finish.

Usually the 90-days no-compete clause is a standard thing included in every WWE wrestler's contract: I don't know the exact wording, but it boils down to "if you ever quit or get fired, you can't work for another wrestling promotion for 90 days". I think they do get some sort of payment for that period.

I know a couple of guys who came out of there (if it's the same school I'm thinking of), and by all accounts it's pretty damn good. Or at least not bad, not one of those places which will just steal your money. I'd say you have as good a chance of getting good, thorough training there as anywhere else.

Are you kidding? They've got a roster that's so big they could run a month of TV without ever having the same guy wrestle twice, especially with the constant guest stars from Raw and Smackdown. Um... maybe because the fans would much rather watch guys like RVD, Sabu, Dreamer, Guido, Mamaluke, and other similar wrestlers who actually go out there and take chances and work their asses off, instead of the traditional WWE "superstar" whose main talent are shooting up with roids and looking real menacing as long as they just stand still?

Yeah, I REALLY find that hard to believe Not saying I think it's gospel, just passing on some rumors I heard. But seriously, Punk has to have a MAJOR fan or two in the office. Since when has the WWE ever hired an independent wrestler, and then allowed him to keep his old gimmick from the independents? EVER? It doesn't happen, period, unless your name is CM Punk. That tells me he's got a major decision-maker or two who are total marks for him.

He just said he wished it would air on Fridays, not that it's already airing. And I don't think it would be a good idea to run a brand new wrestling show in direct competition against an established show like Smackdown; Wednesday night is by far their best bet, since it's the only one not currently inhabited by a wrestling show on national cable. But having said all that, let's just say that in my opinion a show that depends on guys like Vampiro and Waltman to be its main eventers probably doesn't have much of a chance in the first place.

I haven't seen any of them, but I can already tell you to avoid "Dreams in the Witch House", if only because every filmmaker on the planet seems incapable of making a good film based off HP Lovecraft's work.

Hell, Jericho would be the one WWE guy who I think would be an absolute perfect fit for ECW.

The sad part is, it's actually happened before. When Foley first came in as Mankind in 1996, it was Taker who established him by letting Foley pin him in almost every match they had for like four months straight. That right there MADE Mankind a serious threat to anyone, in the fans' eyes. And then years later Foley returned the favor to younger guys like HHH, Orton, and Edge. BUT... since that time, Taker has gotten much pickier about laying down to anyone, ever. He only gets pinned about once or twice a year, literally. Hogan ain't any better, and may in fact be worse. Austin and Rock are gone and unable to put over the new generation. HHH does more jobs than he used to, but he also still squashes other guys to an unnecessary extent; and what's worse, he often just brushes off his few losses like they don't mean anything to him, acting like the other guy still isn't in his league. Shawn Michaels won't lay down for anyone unless they have an entire swat team strafe him with machineguns first. So who does that leave to put over the Next Big Star? . . . ...exactly.

Because it's not just Heyman that likes him; HHH is supposedly a fan of the guy, and apparently most of the road agents love him for his dedication to the business and his encyclopedic knowledge of all types of wrestling. I agree with that completely. I hate the way that the modern WWE style pretty much forces their guys to use one and only one finisher. I like matches that are less predictable than that. And how are the DDT and the Canadian Destroyer comparable? You can actually use a DDT in a real fight if you catch the other guy off guard, and depending on how he lands he just might do that headstand thing. On the other hand, the CD is a completely worked move that is utterly impossible to pull off without your opponent's cooperation.

A pool? Why? Black guys can't swim, hispanics only swim if they're crossing the Rio Grande into the states, asians would prefer to watch bizarre anime porn of a girl getting raped by an octopus in a pool rather than get in one themselves, and then the white people will just buy the pool and have it moved to their backyard in the suburbs. ...oh, you mean a betting pool, right. Well, this cracker already threw out the first slurs, so all bets are off. -Jingus, fighting racial harmony since 2002

I like the basic idea of the Pure Title, but some of the details are kinda wonky. The worst is the whole "3 rope breaks" deal. It'd be much simpler to just not have any rope breaks, period. Either find a way to counter the hold, or you lose. Or use the old PRIDE rules: if the guys get to the ropes, the ref drags them back into the middle of the ring.

Not just A ddt, he does it every week, and it always looks awesome. Knox is a weird case, cuz I don't think anyone can argue that he hasn't looked out of place and boring as hell in ECW. But if like me you get the Deep South TV show, which is a couple months behind, you can see what Knox was like there, and it was a completely different man. He had intensity, speed, facial expressions, a moveset, everything. It all somehow vanished the instant he showed up on Sci-Fi. Problem is, gimmicks like Striker don't tend to get the "we wanna pay to see this guy get his ass kicked" heat; they tend to get the "aw christ, this guy again?! change the channel" heat instead. And like I keep saying, ECW just has way too many guys on the active roster, they don't need to keep importing random guys from the other shows. All very true. But I think it'd be a lot more effective if he was just portrayed as a freak that Styles and Tazz didn't really know much about. The phrase "bite club" just makes me think of all the pretentious goths and witches I knew back in college, and I certainly wouldn't be afraid of any of them trying to kick my ass. I was bothered by that. If you employ a wrestler, have him WRESTLE, not do endless promos every damn week where they always say basically the same thing. And yeah, that crappy electronica music sucks on toast. The ironic part is that I'm one of the few who can actually stand Holly, I've usually been amused by his matches. But the fact stands that he's a hothead with a well-known reputation for abusing his opponents in the ring, and he's yet another WWE midcarder who never worked for ECW a day in his life. And anyone who would rather watch Doring in the ring than FBI or Snow, put your hand up. Anyone? Thought so. Which people forget that he did all the time in old ECW. It was just Raven that he could never beat. Otherwise, his win/loss ratio was about 50/50.

Probably because he's overweight, bald, and wears plain tights. He does have that kind of 80's jobber look to him. No matter how well he wrestles, it doesn't matter; remember, this is the WWE we're talking about here. Doring? Meh. I wondered why they hired him in the first place. Francine? Arrgh, because she's a better bumper than pretty much any current Diva not named Stratus, but she doesn't look as smokin' hot as she used to, and she's also supposedly pretty egotistical and not likely to be a good fit for a corporate asskissing environment and political snakepit like the WWE is now. Jazz? Uh... why? She spent less than a year in ECW, and three or four years in the WWE, so I don't see how she could really be considered an "Extremist" to begin with. She's a damn fine worker, but is plain-looking and injury prone, two things that are worse to the WWE office than being a bad worker. Tony Mamaluke on the other hand looks good, can talk, can wrestle, is a great guy personally, and can bump like Shawn Michaels made out of flubber. They'd have to be fucking crazy to cut him.

OK, that Pillman match lineup makes me retract everything I said earlier. ...except why the lack of Hollywood Blondes matches? There's only one of 'em, and they had so many that were better than that one. And this has got to be the only time you'll ever hear the words "El Gigante" uttered on a WWE dvd.

My problem is that I'm so addicted to wrestling that I'm drawn towards anything presented in a wrestling ring like a moth to a flame. No matter how much it pisses me off or makes me want to rip my hair out, I'll keep watching it no matter what. I watch Raw, ECW, Smackdown, TNA, Deep South, and a local indy show, every week. I watch them all because on every wrestling show I've ever seen, no matter how terrible, there's always at least one moment, one spot, one match, one promo, one something that makes me go "Damn, that was cool." I live for those moments. What, were you expecting the ME to be worthwhile? It's a rematch shown on free TV of a match that they expected the fans to pay $40 to watch... two days ago. And that match two days ago wasn't all that great. And it's a match featuring Sabu in which chairs and tables weren't legal. And it's a match featuring Big Show, period. I'm shocked that they actually turned that pile of negatives into a logical, compelling contest.

So last night ECW did their montly "let's put on a decent show tonight" effort. And it was actually pretty good... by the standards of this show, at least. But since I'm writing about it on the internet, of course I still have a bunch of things to bitch about. Because even on a "good" ECW show there are still plenty of things that are pretty damn bad. -I am past sick and tired of bikini contests. They're always just time-wasting filler that could be spent on actual wrestling. To make matters worse, this bikini contest was between two chicks who looked damn near identical. And one of them has been in Playboy so there's no real thrill to just seeing her in swimwear. And the other one never even took her robe off. -In fact, was she even wearing anything under that robe? When Torrie dragged her into the corner and it loosened up, THAT's exactly when the lights went out... and only came back on after she'd made a wardrobe adjustment. -What's the point of having a mixed tag match when neither of the women do a single thing during the match? -I will pay one compliment: Mike Knox's DDT-taking ability. He's perfected the old RVD trick of putting his arm down at the right angle to make it look like he just spiked himself on his head. -Matt Striker... yippee. Yet another WWE crossover guy who doesn't need to be there, who clutters up an already overstuffed roster, and is guaranteed to eventually piss off the office/network/whatever when the old hardcore ECW fans chant obscene slogans at him. -Why only one Extreme Rules match? And why was the only "extreme" thing about it a single chairshot? -What's the only thing worse than a lame "wrestling vampire" gimmick? An admittedly fake lame wrestling vampire gimmick. Joey Styles ranting about the vampirism lifestyle and Bite Clubs all over the world ain't gonna help this guy get over. -So the vampire gimmick is one of those things that Sci-Fi apparently forced the WWE to do in order to cater to their network's fans. Okay, whatever. But why is he getting pushed as an unstoppable monster and squashing every other opponent he faces? At least The Zombie got beat up good 'n proper. -Either DO SOMETHING with Shannon Moore or get rid of him already. Having him gaze vacantly into the camera on every single show gets old quick. -They changed CW Anderson to Christopher W. Anderson because they were afraid that the stupid fans would get him and CM Punk confused. Seriously. You can't make this stuff up. -CM Punk still seems lost working a match less than, oh, twenty minutes long. And the Anaconda Vice is still perhaps the lamest finisher in wrestling today. And yes, I'm aware that Scotty still does The Worm on occasion. -SABU SHOULDN'T TALK. Aside from the fact that it ruins the gimmick he's built up for almost two decades, the man just can't cut a promo. -A promo for Cena's movie. Jesus. It's bad enough that it took up three minutes of desperately needed time on a show that can't even feature half the roster on any given week. But the only connection Cena has with ECW is being viciously booed out of the building on several occasions. Why the hell would ECW fans, who clearly and loudly hate this guy, want to see his damn movie? -And because we don't have enough former midcarders who are despised by hardcore fans wasting our time, here's Bob Holly. What's the over/under bet for how long it'll take before he shoots on some kid again? -Danny Doring is wrestling on my tv. Little Guido, Tony Mamaluke, Al Snow, Roadkill, and many others are not. Anyone else see a problem here? The WWE doesn't even know which ECW "Extremists" not to hire. -And just to make damn sure that RVD gets injured again before he gets back to the main event, heeeeeeere's a feud with Holly. Merry Christmas, Rob. Because that's about when we're gonna see you next after you're out healing a broken collarbone or whatever. -Rene Dupree. 'Nuff said. (If I were the booker, I'd restart the BWO, put this goof in it, put fake tattoos on his back, and call him Duprista.) -I wish I could bitch about something regarding the main event here... but it actually worked. Big Show isn't afraid of Sabu in a regular match, Sabu can't find a way to beat the giant without his weapons & plunder, he gets DQ'd as a result, and then snaps and just beats the everliving shit out of Show. Makes sense, and was well executed. -I know Angle is out with Angle Injury #291, but why didn't they even mention him once throughout the entire show? -How did Tazz go from being a decent commentator working with Michael Fucking Cole on Smackdown to being a completely annoying and intolerable one working with Joey Fucking Styles in ECW? -The worst part about watching a "good" episode of ECW: according to precedent, next week's episode is gonna suck like ::insert random chick CM Punk's banged here::.

I completely agree with that bit. I'm the only wrestling fan in my entire family... and I pray to God that none of them ever turn on a WWE show. I literally can't watch wrestling in the same room with a friend or relative who's a non-fan. Because it usually takes less than ten minutes for something incredibly tasteless and offensive to happen, and I just can't justify it to them. What am I gonna say? "Yeah, I know it's probably the stupidest show on TV, but I watch it anyway. What? Do I LIKE it? No... not most of the time. Why do I still watch it then? . . . "

Well, with the exception of Thorn's entrance (which I mark out hard for, not sure why) I just don't find much of it to be that entertaining. Also, solid main events?! About half of them, yeah sure. But the battle royale from the first show, Big Show vs. Undertaker, Angle vs. Sabu, and Sabu vs. RVD aren't what I'd call solid.

Gunsmoke, The Simpsons, Raw, and a few other shows would beg to differ.

How did Gayheart's career ever recover from her running over and killing that kid? For the people who asked me "well what DO you watch?", truth is, not much. Most TV these days just bores the shit out of me. Even the shows I might get into, like Shield or Lost, I don't watch because I hate trying to jump into a show's plot after it's been on for several seasons already, and trying to figure out what the hell is going on. Yeah, I could go back and watch all the old DVD season collections, but that takes more money and way more time than I'm willing to drop on a show that I might like. As for what I watch? Well, sadly enough, if it's a wrestling show, I'll watch it. Yeah, even Raw. Other than that... uh... not a whole lot I'm proud of. I love cartoons, or at least comedic ones geared towards adults: Family Guy, South Park, most of the Adult Swim lineup, etc. I'll watch Comedy Central's programs like Daily Show and other similar stuff. And I'm sadly addicted to X-Play. But besides the stuff I named, I'll much rather watch a movie or pop in an old wrestling tape than watch just about anything on TV these days.

How? Repetitive booking, nonexistant storylines, lackluster matches, stupid gimmicks, and the burial of every old ECW wrestler to a degree that shocked even the most cynical of hardcore fans.

No wrestling television show has ever succeeded while using released WWE midcarders as their top talent. Unless these guys have some really, really good booking and general presentation, with that roster I don't see them having much chance of success.

...if you forget that Hogan, Andre, Savage, Austin, Rock, Foley, HHH, and Taker ever held the belt. As of the recent PPV... statement refuted.