Jingus

I flipped through Dusty Rhodes's book, and if you never read a word of it you're not really missing anything. Some of the road stories are funny, but the editing and structure are nonexistant as Dusty randomly jumps back and forth through the decades, and some of the storytelling seems questionable in terms of accuracy, plus it gets really fucking old about the forty millionth time that Dusty claims that he's the greatest wrestler ever and a great shoot athlete and Dustin is the second-greatest wrestler ever and his daughter is gonna be a movie star or OH GOD SHUT UP VIRGIL.

I for one didn't really mind any of the characters or voice actors in FFX. Hell, the first time Yuna used her powers to send the souls of all the disaster victims on to the afterlife was possibly the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in a videogame. Yeah, the voice acting wasn't as good as Metal Gear Solid, but shit, whose is? Voice acting over an animated character is HARD. For a great example, just check out Princess Mononoke, where despite a script by Neil Gaiman and voicing from some really good actors it still fell victim to the occasional Standard Japanese-To-Engrish Mistranslation Which Makes The Whole Audience Groan. I didn't like FFX-2 much. I thought it was an unnecessary sequel and lacked any real plot reason for me to care about any of it, aside from the quest to find Tidus. I got almost halfway through the game, and instead of trying to save the world we're still fighting various flunkies in order to save some village. And the MOST annoying thing, the thing that pissed me off to no end, was how lightly all the villains took the heroes. "Well, you girls almost single-handedly defeated Sin and saved the entire world a few years ago, well then HAHAHA of course my array of kung-fu chopsticks and my two idiot henchmen will easily take care of you, you pathetic scum!" And yet the heroes never call them on it. That just pisses me off every time I see it in any RPG, which is unfortunately way too often. I long for moments for moments like when the party fucking kills Seymour early on in FFX, because way too many of the heroes act like pantywastes who just sit there frozen while the villains taunt them and then escape after having stolen the Hyper Death Armageddon Thingie.

Anyone else get a mental picture of JB playing the action hero Mexican priest from all those movies on King Of The Hill?

1. So do we have any confirmation on whether this actually happened or not? It is possible that the story could've been accidentally ignored (which does happen sometimes) or that it could've been selectively covered up by The Evil Biased Liberal Media (which does also happen sometimes) but it seems like a story like this would indeed be big news. 2. If the incident did indeed take place as it was described, then of course it was racially motivated. They were shouting MLK and black power and calling the girls crackers. How you could possibly say that's not racially motivated? 3. This is the main detail that makes me question the story's veracity. So, an enraged mob of 30 people viciously beat on these girls for several minutes, including apparently dragging one all the way down the street by their hair... and the ONLY real injuries they suffered were one broken nose and one concussion? Come on. I've seen worse injuries occur in worked wrestling matches that lasted under a minute. If 30 people beat the living shit out of you, you're gonna show more physical damage than that. Even if the attack did happen, then this paper is clearly exaggerating the severity of it.

America, FUCK YEAH! Did anyone ever actually say fuck on primetime TV? Except for exceptions like the almost unedited Schindler's List broadcast and so on.

Well, America's way of running things led to us becoming the most wealthy and powerful nation on earth. I'd say that's a pretty good indicator that it works better than the systems of government that produced Elbonia or any other country that has remained one big mud farm. As to whether the first world has a duty to support the third: funny, back over a century ago they used to refer to that as the White Man's Burden.

Why is there a petition? I thought I read that WWE wanted to use him anyway and was including him in the list of workers they asked TNA to loan out. Since he got released, what's stopping him from going?

Well damn, you had some pretty high expectations for that card then. Liger/Kanemura and the main were pretty damn good in my opinion. No, there is no such thing as a universally accurate star rating. Such things don't exist.

Piper has had a few damn good matches, the ones with Bret and the dog collar with Greg Valentine being the most obvious examples. But he had to be in the ring with someone who knew how to adapt to his style. Piper didn't adapt to anyone, he did the same thing every night. And yes he could sell. Ever seen him fly backwards like he'd taken a 12-gauge round to the solar plexus after being hit by Andre?

I've seen several of Smith's matches on the indy circuit, and Tawren is pretty much correct. He doesn't fit in with the rest of the Stampede guys because he's just a big boy who doesn't do flips. He does have some greenish tendencies, but he seems like the type who'll grow out of them and get better with more experience.

Is the FU a credible finisher? More or less. Does the crowd buy it? Sure. Does it still look like weaksauce dogshit garbage that doesn't hurt one bit and constantly annoys me with the way he never does it the same way twice? Absolutely.

Well, damn. And I thought that Hogan, Piper, and Sable coming back to work for Vince again was a surprise. There's obviously been a massive amount of crossovers and "invasions" in Japanese promotions in the past few years. Is that just because business has been down and the various companies are trying to spark fan interest by hotshotting the territory, or is there a deeper cultural shift that is a symptom on changing attitudes in Japan on how to do business?

Just picture it: The WWF had Chris Fucking Benoit and the rest of the WCW jumpers tearing up the scene, HHH was the greatest fucking wrestler alive, Kurt Angle was gonna become the greatest fucking wrestler alive, Mick Foley wrote damn good books and had damn fine retirement matches, Shane McMahon regularly tempted death for our pleasure, Edge and Lita weren't fucking, the Hardys were still amazing, the Dudleys were still cool, even Brian Fucking Christopher was involved in something incredibly entertaining. Aside from that, you had: -WCW. Yeah, it sucked. But watching it fail at EVERYTHING was goddamned entertaining, and there were some good matches hidden in there too. There was no darker day than when we woke up and realized it was gone. -ECW. Yeah, it kinda sucked around this period too. But, shit, at least it was STILL THERE and gave us awesome cruiserweight & hardcore action that the indies are still copying today. and gave lots of wrestlers a payday when they otherwise would've had to get real jobs. -And then you had everything else. The indies, where the ECWA Super 8 Cup was a big deal, Scoot Andrews was a "good worker", and there were these guys like Christopher Daniels and AJ Styles who you kinda heard of. American fans caught in the jetlag between continents hadn't yet realized that Japanese wrestling was getting really bad. Dumbass ideas like Women Of Wrestling not only got a TV show and a PPV, but was somehow bizarrely entertaining and not completely worthless. Ah, for the days when the economy was good and the Twin Towers still stood...

Are you kidding me? Hell yes I'd rather see Ron Killings in that match rather than Kevin Nash.

Die. C'mon, Ready to Rumble?! At least gimmie an Eight-Legged Freaks or something.

I do.

...that might be the best thing CronoT has ever written. or worst. It's hard to tell these days.

uh... who's Kreski?

He lives in England. Unless you got Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang or that damn Weasley's magic jalopy in your garage, I ain't driving there.

Dude. It's the internet. And we're in the geekiest, most elitist, self-referential corner of it. You say you're black. And? You want me to drive to your house and confirm your blackness? Not with these gas prices, son.

Jesus christ. Vince, hire me. We'll make money.

They were humoring you, dude. In general, wrestlers don't like people shouting out their real names like idiots. If you go up to New Jack and say "Wassup, Jerome" you're likely to get cussed out, at the very least. And that is not a hyphothetical example.

I hate corrupt & inefficient police officers. I like cops who genuinely want to help people and make the world a safer place. Unfortunately, you can't tell which is which on sight. This is gonna be controversial. Either some criminal is gonna kill a monkey or some monkey will accidentally stick its fingers where they shouldn't go at the worst possible moment and the monkey will put a cap in someone's ass. Leave policing to humans, you idiots. Lawyers will build their houses on the money the get from lawsuits caused by that damn monkey.

What was the friggin PWG thing? God I hate it when people tease me like that.

Bullshit. Wrestlers HATE getting called by their shoot names, for the most part. Hell, even I hate it when people do it to me.