Jingus

My mom is all depressed about the Pope dying. Which is interesting, as she's a pseudonondenominational Protestant-lite who borders on agnosticism. She said "I think he was such a good Pope." My response was, "How could we tell the difference between a good one and a bad one?"

I try not to. My monk-like existence has led to extremely pale skin which burns if exposed to direct sunlight for more than five minutes. And also girls have cooties.

She was the leading lady in Darkness Falls, but that's almost worse than nothing since it was the type of crappy horror movie that the Buffyverse exists to mock. I found a Blockbuster that has all the Buffy and Angel DVD sets for rent, and have thus been listening to an obscene amount of filmmakers' commentaries recently. The general rule for commentaries is thus: if it's Joss or any of the actors doing it, it's probably insightful and entertaining; if it's some random people off the production crew, it's probably boring as hell and less fun than just the episode by itself. And generally the later the season is, the better the special features are, though there are exceptions.

::waits for someone to make a completely tasteless "greatest _____ in the history of our ____!" mad lib::

Let me reiterate how damn fun & addictive this game is. I must've beaten it a dozen times already. I can now destroy the first three guys in under a minute and usually beat the bagel in the first round, highest score so far 9101. I really miss my NES.

I've never liked April Fools either. I don't understand the point of a holiday where all you do is tell lies and pull really cruel pranks. Compared to ones where you get massive fireworks shows or run around in a costume gathering candy or get a bunch of expensive presents under a tree, that's one pretty fucking lame holiday. Also it's annoying because every year I'm almost guaranteed to forget that it's April 1st and fall for a joke at some point. Kinda like how I never remember to wear green for St. Patrick's Day.

The only guy who didn't think that this would turn into a massive flamefest by the third post. V

Could be worse. A couple of my best friends were huge fans of Hedberg and saw his act live just a couple of weeks ago. That must be rough.

botty: there's a separate folder called Miscellaneous a couple spaces down from this one, which is WWE. That's where arguments over MMA should take place. Or in No Holds Barred, cuz you can post pretty much anything in there.

I guess I'll sign out by saying that I'm just against pulling the plug on anyone, unless that person has clearly indicated their wishes otherwise, and not just in a hearsay manner.

Well, excuuuuuuse me for drinking. Cuz I have been. Tends to produce dem fightin' words. "People on life support" is one of my push-buttons. But I was told that she was opening her eyes, moving, and sometimes making sounds. That's not brain-dead in my book.

ANYway, trying to drag this back on topic... This year's Wrestlemania? Actually not that bad, as WMs go. Let's do the breakdown: HHH vs. Batista The inevitable "HHH fights for the championship" match is truly the successor of the inevitable "Hogan fights for the championship" match. But in terms of workrate during the match, it'll look more like Flair vs. Random Big Guy. It'll be competent and watchable at worst, and if they can get a nice rhythm going and really get the crowd into the match, it might just turn out pretty good. JBL vs. Cena I'm not the biggest fan of Cena in the world, but he can brawl. And that's pretty much what has to happen here, a big chaotic Bruiser Brody-type fight with plenty of blood. Cuz neither one of these guys is terribly coordinated or graceful. If they keep it in the middle of the ring, it could get ugly. Ladder Match Spots. Lots of 'em. Kane will do some crazy stunt to make every viewer shake their head in amazement. Benoit will do a couple of things to make everyone wince in sympathy pain. Jericho and Benjamin will be there. They'll probably be sore the next day too, but most likely you won't remember more than one or two spots they did. Christian will get booed. Edge will get booed a LOT. All in all, it'll be entertaining. Christy vs. Trish Four minutes, tops. Think Sable vs. Tori. They'll tease nudity but won't go full monty. Orton vs. Taker Taker generally has two speeds at WM: abysmal (Sid, Gonzales, Bossman) or better-than-expected (Diesel, HHH, Flair). But even in the worst of the worst Taker matches, take note of how usually it's not Taker's fault that it sucked so badly. (Whether or not that's intentional is a different argument.) Orton definitely has something to prove here; a bad match at Mania just might cost him his future career at this point. Of course, the big question here is, who's doing the job? Personally, I think Orton will win, though I don't know if it'll be clean. Eddie vs. Rey I'd be very surprised if this gets past ten minutes. Cruiserweights never really get to strut their stuff at WM. Plus, the smaller guys do sometimes look painfully midgetesque in the enormous domed stadiums that WM takes place in. This match won't be no Halloween Havoc '97, and all the smart marks will bitch about the finish. Big Show vs. Akebono Every year, Vince seems to insist on having one "bad idea written all over it" match at WM. This is done in the interest of drumming up mainstream news coverage (which rarely happens). It'll be a waste of time, and hopefully they'll keep it short. Angle vs. Michaels If I do order the pay-per-view, this'll be why. This is one where the uncertainty of it all is a huge draw for me. Will their bodies hold up? Can they physically perform the kind of match that they dream about having? Both Angle and Michaels probably take half an hour just to get out of bed every morning considering their laundry list of injuries. HBK simply isn't as good as he was back in the 90s, and Angle hasn't had a great match in a long time either. Both of these fiercely competitive egotists will agree that their match has to be the best goddamn match of the night, if not forever. The spirit is willing. Is the flesh able? I don't know. This is one I can't call. And personally, my favorite Wrestlemania is X-7. It had that BIG-TIME feel that so few shows capture and the matches were mostly damn good.

Hey, say what you want, I love this shit, it puts me in an almost meditative state of mind. Plus, it's legal, no worrying about the blue-light-special breaking down your door. What kind of tussin? Specifically, what were the active ingredients besides DXM? Was it name-brand or generic? All that does make a difference.

Sorry, man. I'm on some DXM right now myself. Puking can be a hazard, what exactly did you take?

Overrated indeed. Oh god, I got SO sick of hearing various Chappelle Show references at various indy wrestling shows all across TN. It was bad enough when the workers started yelling out Lil Jon catchphrases during the matches. It got even worse when they dressed like Dave for Halloween.

It's 2005 and I don't see Rodimus Prime or Galvatron, so I've lost all faith in prognosticators.

Of course they'd say she "died peacefully". What else could they say? "Terri Schiavo exhaled and then did not inhale again at 9:55AM." When a person dies by starvation, there's usually not gonna be much activity in the last few hours as the body slowly grinds to a halt. Especially in brain damage cases like this one.

Naw, I'm just using references that are too old. Way back in the Smarks days there was this big controversy over XPW and a dog-eating-snake and Bower and something and I dunno, it's been a while, and apparently it was all just a stupid publicity stunt anyway.

Dave is a good comedian. Not a great one. But in these depressing and oh so politically correct times, objectively average stuff like his Rick James impression stands out just because there ain't nobody better right now.

Yeah, that got to me too. I kinda ignored this issue for a long time becuase I mistakenly thought that the woman was comatose and completely unresponsive. Only today did I find out the truth. I'm amazed that the husband got away with obviously murdering this woman. My mom used to work in a head-injury rehab clinic, and she's been going apeshit over the whole mess. I'm not kidding about that bitchslap. In the admittedly unlikely event that I, Bryan N., ever happen to come face-to-face with Michael Schiavo, I will slap him across the face with the palm of my hand, as hard as I can possibly do so. That's a promise between me and God, and y'all are the witnesses.

Hates being called Coey cuz its never pronounced right. V

Funny thing, I talked to GQ Money about that thing, and he told me what I'd assumed, it was a work all along. Everyone loved that puppy, they were never really gonna feed it to a snake.

Taue's chokelslam sucks. And Jay Bower's dad takes it up the ass from several large black men every day.

This thread is a shining example of why I have such a passionate ambiguity towards the internet. Oh, how I lhoavtee you, World Wide Web!

EDIT: dammit, was trying to create a blank post, pleez ignore the failed experiment.