Jingus

There are a few animes which do some decent work in the steampunk niche, but yeah, I can't think of a live-action flick offhand which did it well. Stardust had a tiny bit of it with the lightning-collecting airship, but it was more of a fairy tale. As for Wild Wild West, the part which made me just give up was when the Fresh Prince inexplicably sneaks into the villain's secret fortress, dressed in drag, and actually makes the baddies believe he's really a woman and seduces them with belly-dancing. Nobody but Bugs Bunny should ever be allowed to do that bullshit. I can believe the giant technospider a hell of a lot easier than I could buy that. Plus it was just unnecessarily meaner and grosser than a Will Smith summer blockbuster needs to be, what with the severed heads and the mass slaughter of the innocent negroes and bizarre surgical deformities and all that needlessly yucky stuff.

Well, for one cuz I'm heterosexual, so it would be difficult to maintain an erection inside a male ass. Secondly cause I'd be much more likely to be a cameraman or editor or something than any kind of performer in any kind of pr0n. But mostly because I was trying to come up with the most personally unappealing job on the set for the purpose of comparison. I really hate telemarketing.

Let's see: would I rather get violently cornholed on a daily basis, or be a telemarketer? It's a legitimate question.

Of the two, I'd rather tell people I was in porn. Less social stigma.

Yeah, but I've only used it once, in KKC's "tape of the month" dealie. We were watching an old ep of Nitro, we bitched about Kevin Nash and Rick Steiner a lot, it was great.

The General I needed at least one silent film on here, and I needed some more comedy, so why not my favorite silent comedy? Fuck a buncha Chaplin or Lloyd, Keaton was where it's at in terms of jawdropping stunts and hilarious sight gags which have aged surprisingly well over the past eighty years. You just have to see some of the timing to believe it, like various stunts which involve Keaton hanging off or running in front of a very real moving train. I guess I could've picked Sherlock Jr. or The Navigator or a couple others to go here instead, but then I'd have to go back and re-watch all of them again just to be sure, and noooo, please don't force me to do that...

Oh yeah, by the way, be glad you only had to deal with Raven. Brian Christopher is a whole bag of dicks. Hair trigger temper, goofy yet moody, always coked out of his fuckin' mind as far as I could tell.

I've occasionally gotten pissed off enough at a movie that I feel the urge to get my MST3K on, but 1.only if I'm actually seeing the movie with another friend who feels the same way, and 2.we don't SCREAM that shit, we try to keep it relatively quiet. I doubt that all three other people in the theater for Hannibal Rising were more angry at us than at the fucking movie. Though this old woman in Final Destination did keep shooting us dirty looks and eventually left. Hey, if you have a problem with someone else talking quietly during a shitty horror movie, you've got bigger mental issues to worry about. What the hell kind of movie theater do you work at? I served two tours in the cinema trenches, and at both places only the managers had that kind of power. If you were just one of the working peons, pretty much all you could do is... get a manager. Thing That Angers Me: when a fully-grown man storms out of his talkative theater, grabs the first employee he sees (a 16-year old kid at his first job ever) and angrily demands that this person go personally solve the problem. The noisy black guys a couple rows in front of him had this "I can't believe this little white boy is trying to tell us what to do" look on their faces. No kidding. I've known several people who just inexpicably refuse to watch subtitled movies. The dude who mocked Hannibal Rising with me: intelligent fellow, just got his masters degree in advanced financial theory, and is my only friend who shares my love of grungy 70s horror flicks. Yet he pretty much refuses to watch any foreign film ever. It's not his only vice, he also doesn't like sci-fi, fantasy, westerns, or period flicks (he for some reason really prefers movies set in our present real world... yet is oddly willing to watch old movies set in THAT present real world) but he's absolutely adamant on never watching any movie where he has to read. EDIT: I don't think I've ever been to a theater which offered captioned screenings either. They're not very common I guess.

Not in Texas they won't. State government gives a nice fat tax break to trucks, SUVs, minivans, basically anything which isn't a passenger car. It's allegedly because they fall under the designation of a "work vehicle" for farms and such.

Wait. What? Did this happen? Has my hometown been doing stupid shit again? Oh yeah. The local news: 5% gas prices, 5% election stuff, 10% various alarmist in-depth pieces about how everything on earth can fucking kill you, and 80% ALL MURDERS ALL THE TIME. I don't know what the actual crime statistics are for Dallas compared to other cities, but the news stations here seem like they want to make the local residents feel like they're living in Bosnia or some shit.

I don't think I ever actually had a conversation with Raven, but I was around him some, and heard a lot more from others, and yeah: total dick. If you aren't one of his old buddies, he doesn't give a shit. Very aloof character. Man, that had to suck. Especially since he felt strongly enough about it that he worked an indy benefit show to buy a tombstone for Crash's grave. Oddly enough, I did meet Crash once. He was doing the Mad Mikey gimmick in TNA not long before he died, and somehow me and him ended up alone in the back looking at the big dry-erase board they had with the booking for that night's show. It looked exactly what you'd expect a show which was thrown together by Russo that day and then scribbled all over a giant dry erase board would look like, that is to say complicated gibberish. We shared a laugh about how they were either trying too hard or not trying hard enough. Then he died like a couple months later. Bummer. That was early in my Touch Of Death phase.

All right, remove the "slightly". Those guys were similar to what might've happened to his earlier cop characters if they'd had a lot of rough shit happen to them. They still wisecracked quite a bit, and a Will Smith wisecrack is a Will Smith wisecrack and does make many of his characters feel familiar. Some actors are chameleons who utterly vanish into their roles and are completely different in every movie, the Phillip Seymour Hoffmans of the world; some... are like Will Smith, and put a lot of their own personality on the screen. Yes, he doesn't play the same guy in every single movie, and does try to stretch his range. In fact, I said that in my post.

He doesn't play the exact same guy every time out, no. But he does tend to play a lot of similar roles in some movies. His characters in Independence Day, Bad Boys, Men In Black, Wild Wild West, and so on were all very familiar. Hell, the guys in I, Robot and I Am Legend were just slightly darker versions of those. He's kind of like a Jack Nicholson type; he stretches his range here and there, but often goes back to the same kind of personality for many of his films.

I was also sitting on Serenity in a "in case we get to round 19 and nobody's picked it and I'm not sure what I want yet" sort of fashion. Though truthfully I didn't quite love the movie as thoroughly and obsessively as I did the tv series.

Alright, my browser crashed so it took a while, but I finished the first Hostel. Why does this movie have such an extreme reputation? There were some icky bits, especially the thing with the chick's eye, but I've seen much worse overall. Hell, the general xenophobia was more tiring to sit through than the torture.

Falling Down did have its funny moments. Fairly dark ones, and not nearly as lighthearted as the ads made it look, but there were some laughs there. Man, I'd forgotten Metro even existed. I never saw that one, had a lot of bitterness towards Mr. Murphy after getting burned by seeing Beverly Hills Cop 3 in the goddamn theater.

In response to this discussion, I'm watching both Hostels tonight. I'm halfway through the first one. And not having fun.

Um, yes. Why not? Except for the difference in genitals and upper-body muscle mass, which is fairly irrelevant in a worked noncompetitive "sport", there isn't a whole hell of a lot of difference between the general physiology of men and women. Besides, having seen Mickie up close, I guarantee you that her legs are thicker and more muscular than the hundreds of little skinny guys who do dives like this all the time. She wasn't even just hitting the ground, Sara Del Ray was supposed to help catch her, it just went wrong. Like the vast majority of injuries in pro wrestling, it was just a freak accident which occured while she was doing familiar old spots that she's done countless times before without incident. HHH, Vince, and Nash all ripped their quads by just stepping wrong. Should they never walk again for fear of it reoccuring?

Christ wasn't it awful. That movie approached an almost Manos-like level of just absolutely nothing happening. Tell me, what did you think of the fourth one? Night of the Death Cult or Night of the Seagulls or its various other titles. I vaguely remember it being tolerable, but it was a long time ago and I only saw it on an old VHS release which probably wasn't the definitive version. The only way I can tolerate someone like that is if their work is so appalling yet their self-hype so masturbatory that they're either flat-out lying or utterly insane. I am of course speaking of Uwe Boll.

Hey, I like Waters and Zombie for the most part. But Roth's entire attitude, everything I've ever heard or read about that guy, just makes me hate him without even having seen one of his films. Well, not counting the fake trailer from Grindhouse, but that just made me hate him even more. Statements like that, or whining about all the excuses for why Hostel 2 didn't do well? I'm sorry, I like people who show a little humility. Egomaniacs who think their shit don't stink are some of my least favorite people.

God I hate it when critics try to get cutesy with their writing like this. Bring me the head of Gene Shalit.

People who live out in the sticks do tend to keep more emergency equipment onhand. If you're long miles away from any other civilization, you're more likely to have a backup generator, CB radio, stockpiled food, maintenance gear for your vehicles, all that kind of stuff. Plus, like Agent said, if shit goes down and the cops are an hour away, what are you supposed to do?

I hated pretty much all of the Resident Evil flicks. There are many reasons, but I'll just name four. Firstly, while Milla Jovavich is easy on the eyes, she's a pretty bad actress. Secondly, for some reason the special effects in these movies all seem consistently cheap; I almost gagged when I saw CGI gore on the zombies in the first one. Thirdly, what the hell was the deal with making the main character into some kind of bizarre cross between the Dark Phoenix and Buffy the Vampire Slayer? And finally, yeah, it does annoy me that they intentionally strayed so far from the material of the original games. That series is a pet favorite of mine. I will give you one bit of advice: stay the fuck away from the third one, called The Ghost Galleon or The Horror of the Zombies. It's shockingly way worse than the rest of them, but in a slow, boring, empty way which makes it no fun whatsoever.

They don't face as much crime, sure. But they're also a hell of a lot further away from any possible helps. The neighbors can't call the cops if they hear something weird, cuz there are no neighbors. The cops could be a long way away. Plus as mentioned earlier there are plenty of animals out there which do attack humans, and most of them tend to be found in rural areas.

Change "a lot" to "almost all", and yeah. Consider that damn near everyone in TNA works indy shows or Japanese tours or some other kind of outside employment. You're a sick fuck, but and it is. They couldn't cut to commercial since it was pay-per-view, so they just ended the match as quickly as possible. And ouch, that sux0rs for Mickie. At least this is after she signed the contract and not before.