Jingus

A question to all the non-Americans on here. When someone immigrates to your country, do they have to take any tests like this? Just wondering if we're the only Super-Patriots in this regard.

It's nice to be idealistic and everything, but dude, this has zero chance of every happening within our lifetimes, or probably the lifetimes of our great-grandkids. How exactly do you propose to completely eliminate both violent urges and general stupidity from the human species? Having a peaceful utopia would be great, but only as long as there isn't a single group of armed people out there, because if an entire society is nonviolent, then a dozen guys with shotguns could take over the whole thing. How. Seriously. It's a nice pipe dream, but how would you, as CC put it, un-invent the gun? Never lived in or near the country or undeveloped land, have you? There are all kinds of vicious animals out there who are more than willing to take a pound of flesh from a human being. Let's say you live on a plot of land which is infested with rattlesnakes. How exactly would you deal with just walking around through that every day? Politely explain to them that you mean them no harm, so please don't bite and kill me? And don't say "move somewhere else", that's not a real answer. Yeah, sometimes it is necessary. (Do I have to pull out the story about The Time My Dad Got Shot again?) When you've got someone else out there who starts hurting and killing first, preying upon those who cannot defend themselves, that aggressor needs to be hurt or killed. It's ugly, but that's the reality of life on this planet.

Diminishing returns? I've still got more movies on my mental Want List than there are rounds left in the draft. The Descent Even if tomorrow I lost a couple of fingers in a horrible garbage disposal accident, I could still count on one hand the number of horror flicks from the past decade which I actually found to be scary. This is maybe my favorite of them. Six tough bitches descend into the world's scariest cave, and oh man is it awesome. One of the most aggressively intense atmospheres of claustrophobic terror this side of Alien, just a great nail-biter.

No, haven't seen any films by that director. Although his tendency to cast actresses I really like probably means I will, sooner or later. I started watching 21 Grams once and had to turn it off early for some reason, but I don't remember the first ten or fifteen minutes making much of an impression.

When you've only got five people, do you really need the serpentine rules? I would have liked to do this one though, seems a nice change from all the other drafts.

No, it's about a 1930's mobster in kind of a stylized alternate reality where supernatural stuff is relatively common. Like I said, kind of Sin City with magic and zombies. Please no. Sandman's, like, five times longer than Watchmen. No way in hell that any movie could even begin to do justice to that comic. You'd need not a movie, not a miniseries, but an entire television show running several seasons to get even half of it onscreen. Especially since it relies so heavily on old literary allusions and tropes which would go right over the head of most Hollywood execs, and hell, most movie audiences too.

They did start admitting it, in like the second or third week. They played it off like indy wrestlers wanted to get in on the fan challenge thing and were lining up to get a shot at Kong and a TNA contract. As usual, the women's division is bizarrely booked way better than the rest of the company.

17/20. I wasn't paying attention and misread one, didn't know the new supreme justice, and for some reason mixed up the opening words of the Declaration and the Constitution. Actually it's harder. The real test doesn't have multiple choice, you've gotta really know the answer. Hell, it used to be a lot harder than this, I think at one point you had to name every single President in history, in chronological order. Legal immigration to this country is infamous for being needlessly complicated and taking way too damn long. Because I don't listen to the news anymore and generally don't give a shit about politics.

Children of Men Maybe the best move made in the whole new millenium, for my money. Innovative story, great writing, great acting, sharp social commentary, and OH MY GOD is this one of the best shot movies I've ever seen. Check out those crazy long takes, even in the brutally intense action scenes. Also, it's one of the very few depictions of The Future which I've ever seen that actually looked plausible and realistic.

Huh, I just read some of that for the first time a couple weeks ago. Decent stuff, a bit derivative of Sin City and the recent supernatural horror noir trend, but decent stuff. Glad that they're adapting more indy comic stuff these days. Have you seen many silent movies from that era, Marv? Totally different ballgame in terms of the expectations you gotta have going into the experience. If you're a n00b on the subject, try some Buster Keaton to dip your feet into the pool, pretty much everyone ends up liking him.

is fucking sad, man. Imagine him sitting there typing all that out and then just letting out a giant sigh while he stares longingly at his half-full shelf of anime DVDs. Reading that is like seeing a dog that's been left out in the rain or some shit. Ughh/ Yeah. I kinda feel the same way on a lot of that stuff (not including the close personal relationships with Mother Nature and Father Jehova) but you just don't say that shit out loud, especially if you're trying to attract someone. Hey, wait one damn minute. I just realized that I live in the same state with the little bastard. Not like it matters ALL that much, since Texas is like the size of the moon and El Paso is about a week's drive from here, but still...

Considering that I've already forgotten what the other stuff was, I'd probably maybe generally agree with that statement. Watching it while in talking a chat room and with all the commercials edited out probably made it come off better than it did on broadcast television 8.5 years ago. I think you were indeed the only one. We were all cussing at him in the chat. I believe the phrase "this is more masturbatory than actual jerking off" was used. To specify, I believe I'm the one who used it. I still stand by my opinion. I vote for Fall Brawl. (Not entirely unrelated to the fact that I never in my life want to watch Sid's leg snap like a twig ever again. Upon attending Superbrawl the next month, I had to desperately tell my weak-stomached girlfriend to close her eyes when I realized they were replaying that shit again on the Nitrotron. Alright, I was looking away too.) I've actually never seen that FB 2000, and have been meaning to at least get around to that much-hyped SteinBerg match. Plus, Nash is in the main event, so we can cuss at him some more, and there's mucho dumb shit like a scaffold match and Harrises vs. Kronik and other Only In WCW moments which make us all doubt the existence of a kind and merciful God.

Dammit, knew I shoulda grabbed that one earlier. Only movie to ever make me cry two separate times within the same film. I kinda subconciously meant to throw a Spielberg pick on there sometime, but all the obvious gimmes are already taken. I mean, I liked Jurassic Park and Duel and Close Encounters and all the others, but not Desert Island liked them.

Cool news on Metropolis. (Don't hold out hope for Greed or Andersons though, since the studios supposedly destroyed all the extra master footage intentionally in both cases.) The fuck is your problem, dude? I don't like a dumbass low-budget Japanese trashy action flick, and you call me names over it? I haven't seen Salo or Blood Feast, so I can't comment there. But I wouldn't extend the totcha-pr0n title to either Last House or Texas Chainsaw. Sure, those movies and countless others like them included prolonged scenes of bloody human agony. But not like the kind of movies which frustrate me with it these days. I'm talking about stuff like the Saw sequels, the new TCM movies, and allegedly Hostels (haven't seen them, and everything I've heard about them makes sure it stays that way). The more recent trend of these flicks typically involve several different scenes in which several different characters are subjected to violent physical assault if not outright mutilation for long periods of time. Yeah, Leatherface had his meathook and the dinner scene with the hammer, but that's a far cry away from the distastefully complex and intricate sadism which guys like Jigsaw routinely display. And these movies seem to feature a hell of a lot more guts and gore these days than they used to. (You can seem to get away with a lot more disgusting violence nowadays than any time previously; I'm still at a loss to explain how stuff like Grindhouse or the new Rambo somehow negotiated an R rating.) Part of my problem with this is personal bias; a lot of times I just don't like lots of gore. I'm fine with it when it's in a genre which goes with the territory, like a war movie or a zombie flick or something like that. But there's just something about the concept of some serial killer tying his victim up and then spending an unnecessary amount of screen time dissecting them... that just gets on my nerves. Not claiming it's a universal truth which everyone should share, obviously it's just individual taste, but it's something which interferes with my enjoyment of movies that feature this type of thing. Especially when they start trying to be darkly humorous about it and make it funny. There are a few rare movies which did that in a manner that I liked, but most of the time I find absolutely nothing funny about some psychopath carving on another human being, no matter how absurd and goofy a Colorful Killer he happens to be. The one example which sticks out most annoyingly is Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, the recent prequel. Our "heroes" are all captured by the killers about twenty minutes into the movie. At that point, I actually had the concious thought, "I hope this doesn't mean I have to watch these dipshits getting tortured for the next hour". And guess what, I was right. First they get the shit beaten out of them, then one tries to escape but somehow manages to step on a beartrap and gets left out there all night, another gets dragged down to the basement and mutilated, someone else gets hung on a meat hook, and there is a whole lot of ear-piercing screaming and red-dyed karo syrup slopped everywhere. And it's not good ear-piercing screaming like Marylin Burns' laudable Fay Wray impression from the original TCM, it was the screaming of a bunch of blandly pretty WB-style actors trying to emote and failing. This literally takes up the entire middle half of the movie. That is what I'm talking about when I speak in a condescending and dismissive tone about Torture Porn. It's not exciting, or scary, or necessary for the dramatic purposes of telling the story. It's just one big commercial for the special effects makeup team. It's the horror movie equivalent of when two wrestlers go brawling off into the crowd Steve Austin-stylez. It may provide a cheap thrill for the marks and simulate that there's some intense action going on, but it's a subtly lazy way of filling time and rarely has any bearing on the final outcome of the match.

I loved it the first time when it was Bruce Campbell. Not so crazy about the wannabe ripoff. Why? It's a whole subgenre of horror movies now, and a really terrible one at that.

Group consensus: it sucked cold shit, but a quick bit of research proved that it was the best WCW show on television that week. Ghastly.

We all seem to be doing this chatroom stylez, for anyone who wishes to join us.

I say here, leave our comments for historians of later centuries to puzzle over. But I'll go with the group consensus of whatever.

Yeah, the return of the ECW Original security firm would be l33t.

No, I'm on Explorer. I closed every single other open window, and it mostly seems to be working now... mostly...

Yeah, I'm on a PC too, and, nothin'. It loads the stream a little bit, and then just stops dead for no apparent reason. It's not like I'm on some old piece of junk either, this computer isn't even a year old, and I don't have any other programs running. Fuck the heck is going on. Youtube never does this shit. EDIT: now it appears to be working. I am operating under the assumption that it's merely trying to lull me into a false sense of security.

It stopped loading again. At the 16 second mark this time. Is it doing the same shit for anyone else?

This topic. Load now, guys. Mine froze up at a grand total of 46 seconds into the show and I had to refresh it.

BTW guys, I would start loading the Dailymotion streams now. I mean, I already have, rather I would start loading them now if I were any of you. Which I'm not. Point is, Dailymotion is neither terribly fast nor entirely reliable, so go ahead and start loading those suckers to make sure this all goes ahead smoothly.

Oh man I am so not in the mood for this. Haven't slept since yesterday, feel like shit, and look upon watching a 2000-era Nitro with feelings resembling that of a patient going in for testicle surgery. I'll still do it, though. I'm that kind of sick bastard. I vaguely said on an anonymous message board that I would probably do this pointless task, and by god my word is my bond. So how are we doing this exactly? I'm assuming all the commercials have been cut out of the Dailymotion stream. We just all hit "play" at 8:00 EST, watch it all nonstop, and then write a lot of profanity-filled stream of conciousness posts about all the bullshit contained within this paragon of suck?