Jingus

Okay, so technically this next one is kind of cheating in order to get my favorite TV show onto the island. But hey, if you have a burning desire to watch one of the Star Trek flicks while you're stranded, I'll understand. Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie Pretty much the same thing as the show. Which is to say, the greatest thing in the history of things. Except a slightly higher budget for the host segments, and Servo cusses a few times.

Yeah. We've gone through 120 movies, and I was familiar with all of them and seen more than half of 'em. The fact that I've wasted so many hours of my life devoted to watching the pretty flickering light somehow means that I rule.

How many times do we need to remind people that any picture yoinked from impawards.com will never, ever display here? I feel proud that we got all the way to round 9 before finding a movie I'd never heard of.

If I ever end up in the Bay Area for any reason, I'm so in for a night o' Rocky.

You could say that about every musical act ever, though. At least the ones who didn't become a huge mainstream success. "Sex Pistols shoulda killed themselves onstage!" It fits.

Coke isn't worth the money. The high lasts all of ten minutes at best. Stick with alcohol and weed. And shrooms, if you can get 'em. I am also staggeringly drunk. I would set off a breathalyzer like it was a geiger counter being waved around the Bikini Atoll. Yet I still retain my mad messageboarding skillz. Booyah.

Dude, I don't even believe in the classic theory of Global Warming, but the "global warming is a hoax to get money" conspiracy plot is just bullshit.

My mom's the same, and half her ancestry is from Appalachian hillfolk, the real life Jed Clampetts. So I imagine that OCD, neat freak, germaphobic mothers are just a standard human tradition.

Can you imagine how often a Cash Only gas station would get robbed?

It was fucking brutal, but still, it's just one murder. That regime has done its fair share of genocide. We're talking full-on Throwing Babies Into Bonfires type cruelty. The poor woman in this story is just one more name among God only knows how many killed.

I wouldn't call FF:tSW Worst Ever, like talking Manos or Ed Wood bad. But in terms of big budget modern-day "blockbusters", it was pretty fucking worthless. Even more so to actual fans of the Final Fantasy games, who will just be sitting around wondering why we're in futuristic New York City and when the hell are the damn chocobos gonna show up.

you're the only one

So it's like Laurell K. Hamilton, but with PG-13 content? Gotcha. At least the sex scenes will be shorter.

Hmmm. Looking over my list, I've got plenty of stuff which is grim, depressing, and overall R-rated. Now, for the lighter side of being stranded on a desert island: The Incredibles It's hard to pick the Best Pixar Film Ever, since just about all of them turn out to be so damned amazing, but I love me some superhero deconstruction, so this is probably my favorite. It's basically The Tick with a hundred million dollar budget. Especially worth noting is the cast; all the actors here do better, more three-dimensional work with just their voices than most performers do with their whole bodies.

Has there ever been a good movie which featured an Indian guru? (Not counting the ones made by actual Indians in Bollywood.) Cuz this makes at least the third crappy one this decade. In fact, all of them seemed to be movies about an Indian guru, who isn't played by anyone actually from India, who teaches white women how to become more spiritual and/or sexy.

This is a good question which got lost in the shuffle.

That's from the original Dracula novel. He could walk around during daylight, at least when he was well-fed. Sunlight didn't kill him, it just weakened his powers.

STOP THAT

Okay, if you're just talking about the mandatory Pay Or BURN type of tithing, yeah you're right. Spiritual blackmail, plain and simple. A religion should make people want to do good, not force them to or else.

Wouldn't it be because, y'know, he already ran and lost? Yeah I know it was more "lost" than lost, but still, I can't recall the last time the same candidate ran for President twice (not counting 3rd party candidates). I guess Nixon is the most recent example I can come up with. These days, if you blow your one big shot, they don't let you try again.

I wouldn't go that far. I could spend all day bitching about the church I was forced to attend as a child, but their pseudo-tithing wasn't one of the bad points. Completely voluntary, no quota, give as much as you feel like, etc. Of course there was peer pressure and salesmanship, but it wasn't written into the rules that you had to donate a certain amount. And they put some of the money back into the community, running food drives for the poor, that kind of shit. They also sent a bunch of missionaries out to former Warsaw Pact communist countries after the iron curtain fell. I'd normally count that as a waste of time and money, but not after having seen some of the video footage they brought back. They had people literally mobbing their trucks in giant crowds in a desperate attempt to grab the Bibles which the missionaries were handing out. It was like they were giving out shoeboxes full of money or something. And not like one guy grabbing as many as he could carry and then waltzing off to be a scriptural scalper and sell them across town, but each person Beatles Concerted to the front, grabbed one book, and walked away. Those Lithuanians really wanted them some religion.

A few observations about promoting this way on a message board: This whole post looks like it was copied and pasted out of a blog. Take the sixty seconds to go through it and put spaces in between separate paragraphs, so it doesn't all run together into one giant TL,DR. Footage from WSU may be used in the movies. There's no guarantee. Beyond the Mat shot miles of footage at countless shows which was never used. Half the stuff shot for the TNA scene in Head of State ended up cut, and I'm kinda surprised the scene stayed in the movie as it was. Serious question: does anyone ever give a shit about these angles which seem to be constantly promoted on websites? I've seen wrestlers go on smark boards and cut in-character promos about how they're gonna kick Wrestler X's ass this Saturday at the national guard armory, and it's always met with apathy or outright hostility. Anyone reading this stuff, pretty much by definition, will not be worked by such things. It has the overall effect of a magician performing at a birthday party, while a bored audience of children provides running commentary on how he does his tricks. I've never once even heard of anyone who bought a ticket to a show because they read something online besides just a listing of the card. What's the point? Well... yeah... but once again, on a snarky smarky website like this, bringing up THAT chick with the intro "You've seen her before" is guaranteed to inspire nothing but laughter. That name doesn't make you look like a wannabe, at all. You must sell a HELL of a lot of dvds to be able to afford that ticket price. One compliment: thank you for being classy and not going the WEW route of yammering about how hot all these ladies are and they'll all kick your ass and make you like it and all the other pervy shit that many of the pre-Shimmer women's wrestling groups constantly did in their endless quest to market their product directly towards the Trenchcoat Brigade.

Wait. I messed around a little bit, and found that calculator says any number for population above the magic figure of 1,008,502 automatically gives you a total of 385 for your sample size. Any number from 1008503 to filling the box with infinite nines, same answer. Obviously something ain't right here.

you magnet school kids and your wacky intellect

This is often a problem. Like, at my local public library, the one (1) nonfiction book about pro wrestling is mixed in with the five books about amateur wrestling. Because greco-roman is so much more popular and such a better draw than the WWE, I guess. Meanwhile, a few of the guys' autobiographies are over in that section, but you've gotta search for them one by one. Yes, this means that Ric Flair's book will not come up if you type "wrestling" into their catelog search.