Jingus

You're gonna be disappointed, since it's either not Mayhem 99 or not the Goldberg/Hart match. It didn't happen on that show. Hart and Goldberg only had three televised singles matches. Two on Nitro were complete crap, and the third (Starrcade 99) was the match where Bill superkicked Bret into permanent brain injury and forced retirement. I hated that Russo put the belt on himself, but I loved that he was so fucking stupid that he willingly allowed goddamned Goldberg to spear him through a cage. Think he still wonders why he got a massive concussion?

A welcome quote from that article: Cena isn't on some kind of hormonal supplement? Cone on guys. This is professional wrestling. Where everyone from Funaki to The Sandman to Ric Flair to Tammy Sytch all used steroids. You cannot tell that someone's not on them just by looking at them or because "they're smaller than they used to be". (If Viscera or Spike Dudley were taking, how would you know?) It's not like when you get on the gas you just get a brown paper bag with a big bottle that has a skull & crossbones on it and labeled "STEROIDS", and as soon as you take it you balloon in size. It's way more complicated than that.

Yeah, go back and watch that match again if you think it was good. It was not. The only worthwhile part was Flair chopping the bejezus out of Russo. Otherwise, compare it to Flair's matches with Bischoff or Vince or his son David, all of which were way better.

I've got several problems with growing a beard. Firstly, I've got that type of slow-growing hair which only needs to be shaved every other day. Secondly, there's a big gap between the mustache and the rest of the beard, like the one in Ice Cream's pic except more pronounced, which basically means I could never successfully rock the full beard. Thirdly, the hair in general is just a tiny bit too sparse too look right; it's, like, 90% of the way there, but always looks like I'm missing a few extra months of puberty which I never had. Fourthly, my facial hair tends to grow in an unusually curly and unruly fashion; if it weren't for the fact that it comes in a lighter color than the rest of my hair, it might look disturbingly pubic. And finally, the most annoying thing is that my neckbeard seems to grow faster and thicker than the actual stuff on my face. Given time and experience, I can trim the combination of mustache, goattee, and sideburns into something vaguely workable, but as a whole my facial hair would never rate higher than a 4 or 5. But still, beard transplants? Fuck that. Call me when they finally perfect ordinary scalp plugs, in a few years I'll need em.

Yeah, aside from having a young female superhero (which Joss himself admits he can't seem to stay away from), there doesn't seem to be much comparison. Seems closer to something like a cross between Alias and Paycheck, with the Dolls being custom programmed for their missions and then memory-wiped afterwards.

Aw come on, that's not even a slow softball pitch, that's a damn T-ball just sitting there and waiting for a homerun swing. As far as I recall, I've never really introduced anyone here, and hardly anyone to the Pit either. I just like keeping my e-life separate from my in-person friends.

It's the old Monday Night Wars mindset. Back then, ratings were used as an easy shorthand method of telling who was "winning". It got to the point where they were considered more important than actual revenue, especially in WCW. And many of the same guys who were in charge back then are still in charge now.

The Bash got ruined by that mysterious outbreak of dangerously imbalanced liver enzymes, which was never really explained. I think it was discovered that way because the wellness policy was the first mandatory test everyone took which analyzed stuff like that. But now that you mention it, yeah, I seem to recall an earlier version of the policy saying that the first offense was some kind of fine or something, not being taken off TV. Clearly that's no longer the case, since all the first-time offenders in the Signature debacle got suspended for a month. Maybe it was changed after Benoit, I dunno. Hey, speaking of Signature, here's something that was never answered to my satisfaction. Randy Orton was among those named in that deal, right? Yet he wasn't suspended at all. The WWE claimed that he'd already admitted his wrongdoing on that specific issue in the past, and had already served the sentence. It was at least his second drug offense, so it would've been a sixty-day suspension. One problem: has Orton ever served a sixty-day suspension, at any time in the past two years? I certainly can't recall him ever being out for that long.

So they're telemarketers who act like they're hot shit. Why do you classify these people as "buddies" and not "murder victims"?

There is one. He could've said something like "well, your momma's asshole is so loose that every time I thrusted, my sack bounced in and out of there like a yo-yo through a basketball hoop". Of course, he can't say it now since I already did.

This would seem fairly obvious. If homosexuality is actually a genetic predisposition and not a free-willed choice, then obviously it would be a recessive gene which can skip generations and doesn't get switched on very often. Some gays have had straight relationships (either through repression or hiding of their true nature) which produced offspring, but this phenomenon alone couldn't possibly account for the seemingly random distribution of homosexual tendencies throughout society. Of course, the nature vs. nuture issue does kinda run into a wall when you consider people who are bi-/poly-/pan-/whatever the new trendy name for it is -sexual. They don't seem programmed to accept any one specific thing. Or all of the other weirder and less socially acceptable sexaul proclivities out there. (Like, would anyone chose to become, for example, a pedophile?) I think perhaps the biggest argument for it not being a choice; if you weren't gay, why would you want to be? Aside from the relatively minor recent trend of Brokeback Eye For The L Word Guy, homosexuality has traditionally been an act which has been considered one of the most shameful lifestyles. I mean, fifty years ago, people would've much rather lived next door to bank robbers than to faggots. Even today being outwardly gay can be a good way to catch a beating in certain places and times. There's still a very common social stigma which goes with it. So I just can't agree with the idiots who claim that people are deliberately turning gay just because it's trendy or whatever similar stupid fucking argument they're floating today.

It's not that I don't like you... okay, well, sometimes I don't, but that's not the point. It's mostly just arguing about stupid wrestling shit. And while some of your opinions hit me like someone saying "you know, I saw Laurence Olivier's version of Hamlet last night, and it fucking sucked, thank god I watched the awesome Ready to Rumble to get the bad taste out of my mouth", but some of the other stuff you say I actually agree with. You're right, Joe generally probably shouldn't be doing hour-long matches, especially against a guy like CM Punk who's half his size and looks like Joe should be able to break him over his knee. I just think it's impressive that he can have a match that long if called to do so, while the majority of wrestlers can't do that.

Stop acting like your opinion is fact. You're not providing factual evidence here. "JBL set up Cena's comebacks" is the sort of DVDVR-ish debating which just pisses me off, because 1.you don't know who planned what out there (could've been JBL, Cena, an agent, the referee giving them spots he's been told over his earpiece, etc), and 2.what the hell does it mean? It sounds like making an argument, but it's the kind of statement which is so vague that it doesn't impart any actual information.

Yes I have given reasons why, but I'll repeat and expound on what I said earlier. Because JBL has had a lot of shitty matches where I simply didn't want to watch, even with good opponents; I can't say the same thing about Joe. I've never, ever seen JBL have matches which were nearly as good as Joe's best stuff. And yes, I've seen the matches with Eddie and Cena, and I'd rather watch Joe/Styles or Joebashi any day of the week. JBL's cardio is much worse; you sure as hell won't see him doing any one-hour matches. For all the whining about Joe being fat, at least he looks solid, and not saggy like JBL does these days. Joe's a better bumper. JBL is often unnecessarily stiff, especially with guys who aren't allowed to fight back; see him repeatedly kicking various jobbers right in the face in countless squash matches. Even legendary pussy weakling girly-man Terry Funk complained that Bradshaw hits you too hard. Joe actually works his strikes. I will admit that JBL has a better overall character and is a much better promo guy. And like I said, I don't hate Bradshaw nearly as much as a lot of smarks do. But I'm still mystified by the idea that he's a better in-ring worker than Joe.

It's not like Regal's the only guy here on drugs. If Triple H and John Cena's bodys are naturally that muscular, then my dick is naturally three feet long. Regal's just the only one who got caught. That we know of. The testing agency doesn't make its results public, it's all handled through the WWE itself. Even aside from that, there are all kinds of ways for the workers to beat a drug test. Although much like birth control, none of them are 100% effective so eventually someone's test will come up positive. Regal happening to piss dirty right now probably has less to do with his push and more to do with their recent change in the testing policy where they actually physically watch everyone pee now.

Why you hatin' on Moore? I've only read two of his books, but I quite enjoyed them and have been meaning to read some more eventually. When's the last time Michael Cera was in something bad? And I'm not counting "well he showed up once on Tim & Eric's Awesome Show" or "some people didn't like Juno or Superbad". Either he or his agent have gotta be psychic, since they seem to chose to participate only in projects which turn out well, make him a cult hero to millions, and enhance his career overall.

No, that's a horrible example. Because the abolitionist movement of the 1800s was, indeed, for the most part a very vocal minority. Most people then didn't want to free the slaves. There was a whole lot of gray area with the corresponding "anti-slavery" or "free soil" movements, which basically said that as long as slavery didn't spread to new states and territories then it could stay put where it was. And clearly the Southern states felt pretty opposed to the idea, considering the whole war and all. And it took another hundred years after emancipation for black people to be considered full equals under the law. Considering that the first abolitionist and pro-equality movements were started all the way back in the 1600s, it took a hell of a long time for the majority to catch up.

Still, compare to House of the Dead, In the Name of the King looked like Lord of the Rings in comparison. It's not like Statham hasn't been in a bunch o' crap in his career already. Besides, Boll has a startling track record of getting overqualified people to be in his movies. I mean, yeah, I know Ben Kingsley was in Species, but there's a world of difference between that and playing a vampire overlord in Bloodrayne.

Well then, I guess we're just gonna have to agree to disagree, because I think Joe's best stuff easily smokes all of that. Joe certainly didn't carry that match, but I wouldn't put all the blame on him. Misawa was so broken-down and immobile that he didn't do a damn thing in there, he mostly just threw a few elbows and then sat around in rest holds for half the match. Actually, there are several similarities, and I've used the Taz comparison to explain Joe's appeal to some of my friends who don't watch much wrestling now and despise all things ROH-like. Both are made out to be faux shootfighters with a bunch of moves borrowed from MMA. Both also incorporated a lot of Japanese offense which wasn't as common on the American scene. Both were portrayed as badass monsters despite being relatively smaller guys. Both had decidedly non-WWE physiques. Both did a little bit of questionable no-selling at times. Both had no-nonsense straight wrestler gimmicks. Both were vaguely ethnic in a way where you weren't sure where they were from unless you were told. Both tend to have their best matches with small guys they could toss around. Both used a rear choke as their finish. It's not like the two guys are night and day. Which is entirely the fault of the bookers, not the wrestlers. Obviously, Heyman > Russo. Such a thing is possible? I just don't see your "Joe has no personality or charisma" argument at all. He's not a great promo guy and could use a manager, but in the ring he's fine.

Sadly, they're becoming less entertaining, as Boll seems to be verrrrry slooooowly improving as a filmmaker. He's still got a hell of a lot more improvement to go before he even becomes "not bad", but anyone who saw Bloodrayne II or In the Name of the King can tell you that they're not as hilariously incompetent as House of the Dead and Alone in the Dark were. Still bad, but just annoying bad and not hysterical bad. I'm hoping Postal reverses this trend, what with the rumors about a bunch of tasteless jokes about 9/11 and Columbine and such.

I just don't agree with the sentiment that Joe can't draw. I think TNA has badly abused his character ever since the Angle feud, but I see nothing wrong with the guy himself. I'm not just talking about ROH and other big smark shows where people came out in droves. Just as an anecdote: there's a really old-school indy company called Wrestle Birmingham which runs shows in Alabama. And when I say "old school" I mean "they did a Tully Blanchard vs. Dusty Rhodes match in 2006". And on this redneckiest of redneck shows, you know what the single biggest-drawing main event they ever had was? Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles, back around the time that they were feuding in the X division. Over a thousand paying customers to a little southern backwoods indy show. They made a bigger profit on that one show than TNA made that entire year. So it's not like people aren't willing to watch this guy Saying JBL is a better in-ring worker than Joe is just silly. And I like JBL, I'm the only guy who liked his Wrestlemania 21 match with Cena, but his number of really good matches doesn't come anywhere near the list of Joe's best work. For one, I'd say Bradshaw has never once had a match in his life with any opponent which was near as good as the Joebashi match. And, Joe's "laughable offense"? What? He's a big thick Samoan dude who's basically doing a nu-age Taz gimmick and looks like he's killing people. How is that not credible?

A good voice for the announcers is like a steroid physique packed onto an above-average height for wrestlers; it'll get you in the door, but won't necessarily keep you there. Tony Schiavone had a good voice, and look what happened to him. Mike Adamle has a good voice, and I don't really need to say more there. Michael Buffer has the greatest voice of all time, and he's allegedly a greedy egotistical douchebag who doesn't give a shit about his job and just shows up to say his one catchphrase and collect the gigantic paycheck. I'd say all those guys have better natural voices than Jim Ross, but he's a better at the sheer artistry of announcing than all of them put together.

Did you ever see the Kobashi match?

Where did the old stereotype of black folks lovin' them some Newports come from, anyway? I smoke Ports whenever I can't get my more preferred but harder to find brand (Camel Turkish Jade ftw), and I'm whiter than Michael Jackson. If there's an ashtray there, I'll put it in the ashtray. But if I'm just on the road, in a parking lot, or some other similarly receptacle-free area, I don't care, on the ground it goes. Although I do try to avoid stuff like tossing it into a patch of tall, dry, dead weeds on the edge of a forest in the middle of a rainless summer. Never could quite comprehend the folks who would do something like that.

I read the book as a kid. And saw a stage play production of it for a school field trip. And read the rest of the series because I was bored and the school library didn't stock much fantasy-type stuff. And I was... mildly entertained. I mostly just didn't care. In hindsight, I wish I'd read The Hobbit instead back then. TLTWATW isn't any kind of required reading... unless you got to a school where they require you to read it, of course. Did you grow up in a household which could be categorized as non-conservative or non-Christian? If so, then no, not unusual. The Narnia series tends to be pushed on kids by parents who don't want them reading pagan fantasy stuff like Harry Potter or LOTR.