Jingus

Tennessee has a sales tax near (or maybe by now, at) 10%. But they also have no state income tax, which lowers the net effect to just the IRS drunkenly molesting you instead of going for the straight assrape. There's been a massive ongoing battle in the state congress for years to get it reformed, but that's never gone anywhere. Also, even though TN shares borders with eight other states, conveniently none of their major cities are anywhere near ours, so there isn't a whole lot of "we need a new bigscreen TV, road trip!". Texas has a similarly high tax, but I really haven't been outside of the rich suburbs here, so I don't know how folks feel about that round these parts. Aren't the first two words redundant as long as you've got the last one?

It's in the spin. Basketballs have a habit of bouncing in random directions if they're spinning when they hit the ground.

Yep, that's gotta be who he's talking about. Bert Prentice, aka Christopher Love, is pretty infamous around there, and he did like Johhny a lot as I recall. Jericho devoted a whole chapter in his book to talking about the time he almost worked for that guy, and anyone who spent some time around TNA back then will remember him. (Although it might tell you something about the Nashville wrestling scene that there were three other gay promoters he might've been talking about.)

A bit over three years ago, my indy wrestling fed had abruptly lost its building. The shady owner had apparently declared bankruptcy or something, so the bank was foreclosing on his property. We found out about this on Thursday, and our weekly shows were on Friday. Saying we were pretty bummed out is an understatement, since we'd been in that crappy little place for two years and loved it. That Friday, the building wasn't locked up and we could get inside, but there was no running water for the bathrooms. This meant we couldn't run a show, because building codes say we gotta have working restrooms, and the rival promoters are always eager to rat out their competition on shit like that. So instead we just get all the workers to go to the building, and shoot a whole shitload of promos and vignettes for our TV show. Anyway, I lived literally right up the street, so I always got there super-early and ended up sitting around bored for a while. When I'm bored, I do weird shit to amuse myself. I was laying on the ring apron underneath the ropes, and reached up and grabbed them, hanging upside-down in an impression of a tree sloth. Well, in the ring "practicing" was a trainee we all called Baby Brock, because he looked just like Lesnar's fat little brother. For reasons that remain unknown to this day, he wandered over to me and hooked my foot in some kind of shoot hold as I hung upside down. POP went my ankle, followed by a lot of cursing. It wasn't too bad, I could walk on it, but the only way I knew that was because it was my good ankle, having horrifically blown the other one out in college gymnastics class years back. And that was the start of the night. I had to run around refereeing an empty-arena match, had to leap out of a giant cardboard box in a Christmas skit, and all kinds of other stuff. I've been beaten up pretty good a lot of times in rasslin', but that was the most inexplicable and inexcusable injury I ever got.

If I told anecdotes about wrestlers, I'd be here all day. So I won't. When I was a little kid, my family took a trip to NYC. At one point, I almost got squished by some old non-safety elevator doors, but Dr. J Julius Irving grabbed me and yanked me out of the way. I was working at a movie theater one Saturday afternoon during the hot summer. A bunch of employees had no-showed, so the only people in the lobby were me and a girl at concessions, and the manager selling tickets. We've all got long lines, and suddenly I look to my left and there's some old lady standing next to me, she'd walked behind the counter and was screaming about how we're mistreating all these poor people waiting in line and need to hurry up. I muttered something like "we'll get right on that" and ignored her. Wasn't until later that someone else told me it was Naomi Judd. As well he should. Please tell me he was talking about a big fat queen from Tennessee called Bert. And you didn't kill him when you had the chance?! Shame unto your family for seven generations. This is one of those where I'm not sure if you're joking... and not sure if I wanna know. You win.

Yeah. Looking at the list, I should be #27. And half the people ahead of me ain't here no mo. ... +2 ...wait, posts in CS don't count, do they

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So you're That Guy, huh? Not that Roode is the worst wrestler ever or anything, but man he bores the shit out of me. He's like TNA's version of Mike Knox, except he's pushed ten times harder and he doesn't do the cool DDT headstand bump.

Heh. Interesting idea. One thing I should mention is that from a pure mark standpoint, I'm probably going to list the name "Benoit" on here an embarassing number of times, but oh well, this is all about stupid markdom, right? Class A (Your Top Three Choices) Lou Thesz/Ric Flair Award This award is given to the professional wrestlers who have the ability to carry an entire promotion (Wrestlemania) by themselves. 1. Hulk Hogan 2. Steve Austin 3. The Rock Most Outstanding Wrestler 1. Shawn Michaels 2. Bret Hart 3. Ricky Steamboat Best Box Office Draw 1. Hulk Hogan 2. Steve Austin 3. The Rock Best Feud 1. Rock vs. Austin 2. Hogan vs. Andre 3. Angle vs. Benoit Best Tag Team 1. Hardy Boyz 2. British Bulldogs 3. Hart Foundation Most Improved 1. Kurt Angle 2. The Rock 3. Trish Stratus Best on Interviews 1. Jake Roberts 2. The Rock 3. Mick Foley Most Charismatic 1. The Rock 2. Hulk Hogan 3. Steve Austin Best Technical Wrestler 1. Owen Hart 2. Chris Benoit 3. Ricky Steamboat Best Brawler 1. Steve Austin 2. Mick Foley 3. Triple H Best Flying Wrestler (my note: what counts as "flying"?) 1. Shawn Michaels 2. Randy Savage 3. Eddie Guerrero Most Overrated (Overpushed) 1. Diesel 2. Triple H 3. John Cena Most Underrated (Underpushed) 1. Ricky Steamboat 2. Ted Dibiase 3. Matt Hardy Best Match 1. Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart 2. Steve Austin vs. The Rock (X-7) 3. Shawn Michaels vs. Triple H vs. Chris Benoit Best Non-Wrestler 1. Vince McMahon 2. Shane McMahon 3. Bobby Heenan Best Announcer 1. Jim Ross 2. Jesse Ventura 3. Gorilla Monsoon Worst Announcer 1. Elvira, Mistress of the Dark 2. Randy Savage 3. Vince McMahon Best Major Show 1. Wrestlemania 17 2. Wrestlemania 20 3. Wrestlemania 3 Class B (Pick One) Worst Major Show: Wrestlemania 15 Best Wrestling Maneuver: KICK WHAM STUNNER Most Disgusting Promotional Tactic: Sgt. Slaughter, Iraqi Turncoat Worst Match: Undertaker vs. Sid Worst Feud: Jericho vs. Triple H Best Gimmick: Undertaker Worst Gimmick: whatever Giant Gonzalez was supposed to be Best Wrestlemania DVD: Wrestlemania 2000 Best Babyface: Steve Austin Best Heel: Kurt Angle Best Manager: Bobby Heenan Worst Wrestler: Uncle Elmer Worst Tag Team: the Godwinns Worst Manager: Sable Most Embarassing Wrestler: (insert random Vince Russo gimmick here) Worst Non-Wrestling Personality: I'm already confident in saying Floyd Mayweather

Given that most of these Mexicans are crossing into a state where grown men care deeply about high school football, kidnappings and killings can only be a positive. Talking bout Texas? If so, you are correct sir. There are public high schools out here with massive football stadiums bigger than most colleges have. It's a horrifying waste of time and money. I thought they took this shit seriously back in Tennessee, but I had no idea. Holy shit, I found something Marvin said which is actually true! I want my prize winnings in traveler's checks, k thnx. You have to filter out shit that you listen to, it's why I don't listen to any radio anymore, True dat. I listened to NPR once, and I'm still reflexively quoting figures on the number of people killed in Iraq on any given day and telling lots of jokes about Lutherans.

I had a buddy who got popped for statutory, he was somewhere in his mid-20s, the girl was 14, and the fucking idiot videotaped it. Sadly, knowing the guy, I wasn't surprised. Even more sadly, considering a lot of the freaks I used to hang out with, the only reason I'm specifically citing him is because he's the only one who got caught.

Shush, we don't want him either.

Wait, what? I thought he had aids.

truthiness edgehead69 MVP dustinbeaverton Enigma EHME/Simon Brigante Marvinisalunatic Mole

I can see the appeal. If you feel like you've been forced by an uncaring society into self-destruction, then it sorta makes sense to do it in front of those you think are responsible. Let those bastards know how you really feel. Or, in the words of George Carlin in a bit about a guy deciding when to kill himself: "Parents are coming over on Sunday... Sunday sounds good!"

We'd have an auction for ownership of the board, but really, how many people (besides you) are willing to pay for such a thing? It'd probably be a no-bid contract direct to Marvin or someone similar.

Eric, looking at you. Just this once it's worth burning some fossil fuels in order to serve the greater good.

Czech, I've been meaning to ask, what the fuck is that in your avatar? It looks like a What If pic of what Vince might look like in ten years if he had a series of strokes.

Ah, the irony of making a typo in that sentence. I've actually seen that happen. It was fucking hilarious.

Am I the only one to lose in the first round of both the Best and Worst poster tournaments? Mixed signals, man. canadiandestroyer213- I'm voting for Enigma later, so that covers Mecca too in my eyes. I can't abide a TNA mark. Mecca dx1997 truthiness- Dude called me a racist, fuck him. Bruiser_Brody Chazz- Nothing against Chazz really, but I like Brody. Superjerk- with everyone voting for edgehead, he deserves a pity fuck edgehead69 MVP Matt Young- just for reminding me about his campaigning during Best Poster KingPK jericholic82- Why's King in this anyway? dustinbeaverton- raza can be a dumbass, but not as bad as this new guy. Razateca Bix Vanhalen- I'm doing this vote purely out of spite, since I know Bix from some other boards and he's good people Battlenuts Enigma- I'd ask "who's Battlenuts?", but I don't want several different people pasting identical explanations on different days pbone majormayhem1- aside from his issues with women, I like pbone, and his sig gives me a chuckle every time. EHME/Simon Brigante- man, this one was tough, as both are just awful. But if Brigante wants to win it, then that's his lifestyle choice. C-Bacon Kawalimus- Considering all the matches I've downloaded off Taiga's website, I can't in good conscience vote for her. Also, I've actually had my name stolen by some troll on another message board, and I didn't whine about it near as much as Kawalimus did. TaigaStar UsethesledgehammerUh Marvinisalunatic- I never minded UTSU. I don't see how anyone could possibly vote for him over Marvin. Cheech Tremendous flairfan- I don't even know flairfan, but Cheech probably shouldn't be here Cena's Healed Pec- I actually like this guy, but no way I'm voting against my own webmaster. Illustrious One Downhome Mole- Both seem to like me more than I like them, which makes me feel kinda bad for voting for either of them. So consider this a shot for regime change and nation building at TSM.

While the whole thing is entertaining (with Blanka Marvin getting the biggest L0L), truthfully my favorite part is Alf's comment in the feedback section.

Nowhere. TNA has chosen to never publicly announce their PPV numbers. Which suggests they're pretty goddamn low.

This pic has been overexposed recently, but it's deserved here. If anyone has a logical argument as to why proven anti-draw and grey-haired cripple Kevin Nash should be beating anyone at this point, please explain so.

That's happened to me at least twice in that folder. It's weird to be in the middle of a budding flamewar when suddenly the other dude is all like "I'm sorry, you're right". I thought the internet was supposed to mean you never have to say you're sorry?

Man, you just made me feel better about my own life. That don't happen too often. Thanks. As to the differences between your old art school and a state college? Obviously, the state college is probably going to be a lot bigger. And people generally care less there about everything, to those teachers it's usually less a chance to help talented youths blossom to fulfill their potential and more just a job that they hate. It's a lot less personal and a lot more bureaucratic. And yes, Tzar is right. If you really want to stay clean, I wouldn't move out of your current home to live on campus if that's at all possible.