Jingus

Anyone wanna take bets on whether I liked Impact or not? And we're already off and running, as Tenay and West are so addicted to the sound of their own voices that they try to talk over the opening pyro, and you can barely hear a word they say. Does ANYONE think the Angle "comedy" sketches are actually funny? This one was especially lame since it involves Kurt's daughter, who looks like she can't be a day over five years old. Having young kids as onscreen talent for a business as scummy as wrestling is inexcusable. So, they've tried for THREE WEEKS just to get Samoa Joe to sign a contract, and someone apparently runs in every time. Does the contract legally require to be signed on television? Why can't they just FedEx the damn thing to him? What's next, a contract signing in a steel cage? Joe and Christian both sucked out loud in their mic work, with Cornette only barely managing to save the whole segment. Since when does AJ Styles consider Angle's wife to be his woman? I wonder what AJ's real-life conservative Christian wife thinks of this storyline at home. Okay, I admit I laughed at Bubba's desperate attempts to make the weight limit for his match. Curry Man is hilarious, from his crazy entrance onward, it's the kind of out-of-the-box goofiness you rarely see in American wrestling. Stone Cold Sharkboy... meh. He's got the impression down well enough, but I just think the whole gimmick is a bad idea. Holy SHIT did you see that fucking disgusting bump Johnny Devine took for the stunner?! Find something for this guy to actually do. And hey look, yet another handicap match ends with one guy beating two, what a shock. We've got Scott Steiner vs. Abyss, a match which has never been done before and that I find at least a little intriguing. So of course TNA promptly ruins it by having Abyss walk away without even getting in the ring. Way to make your psychotic hardcore monster babyface to look like a complete pussy. Steiner vs. Petey Williams was okay. I'm not a big fan of Petey, but they worked well enough together; I don't know how the hell Steiner has pulled off this resurgence over the past couple years, but he's been performing better than he has anytime in the previous decade. Too bad about the clueless, nervous-looking new diva with the awful name of "Rocka Khan". And hey, how about that pop when Steiner helped Petey up after the match?! Damn that Russo, he insisted that good sportsmanship doesn't get over!!! Is there a lazier angle in wrestling than the one where someone gets laid out in the back, off-camera, and we only come upon them laying there out cold? This one was so lame they didn't even bother having anyone trying to help Christian after he'd been beaten into unconciousness. GodFuckingDAMMIT, Kevin Nash is in a match. And his worthless selfish crippled lying lazy has-been never-was ass is beating the shit out of younger, actually talented fellows like Styles and Tomko. Those two both punched Nash exactly once apiece, in between long sessions of the old guy with gimpy knees kicking both their asses simultaneously. Nash didn't take one bump, and Joe got pinned. Fuck this fucking show. Anyone else notice that Steiner and Tomko both won their matches with Olympic Slams? Nash and Joe, promo time. Joe does all the talking, thus negating the entire justification for Nash continuing to breathe. Ohhhh, this is a bad, bad show. Rellik has about the stupidest, most simplistic "supernatural" gimmick possible. His name is Killer spelled backwards, he wears a spooky hockey mask, and his hometown is Salem. You know, the place where there WEREN'T ANY WITCHES. The Motor City Machineguns, LAX, and some Nascar hicks proceed to cut the WORST INTERVIEW OF ALL TIME. Eight people, one microphone, and everybody's talking at once. Just bush league and terrible. Sabin vs. Rave vs. Homicide is a fun match, so of course they only go for three minutes and includes massive interference. Rave and Hoyt with the Guitar Hero controllers is pretty humorous, especially with Hoyt dressed up like Slash. Shelly Martinez and Christy Hemme need to do some lesbian porn together, tomorrow. Some other clueless Nascar putz does guest commentary, and he creeps me out by being a Roddy Piper soundalike. Rhino is here! Rhino is talking. Rhino isn't goring anyone. Boo-urns. And then he demands THE RETURN OF THE GODFUCKING SCAFFOLD MATCH at the next PPV. Rhino vs. James Storm in a match where some 250 pound guy has to fall off a scaffold, can't see anything possibly going wrong here! Sweet Jesus make the pain stop. It's time for the one part of the show I've actually been looking forward to, the women's match, and guess what? They manage to fuck that up too! Awesome Kong vs. ODB is mostly one of those boring Attitude-style brawls on the floor, and has one of the worst-timed commercial breaks I've ever seen. Gail Kim runs in, and at least her perky nipples gave me something to look at. Kong still has Cheerleader Melissa inexplicably dressed up in a burkha as a Muslim bodyguard, and it's stupid beyond words. We also find out that Kong's finisher is called the IMPLANT BUSTER. No, really, I'm serious, the words "Implant Buster" actually came out of Don West's mouth. Absolutely disgusting. And now it's time for the Angle wedding, and it's about as retarded as you'd expect. The joke about Jeremy Borash being the maid of honor would've been funnier if they hadn't run it into the ground by saying it twenty times in a row. The classiest thing was having Angle's preschool-aged daughter there at ringside, so she could get a nice close look at her dad getting stripped down to his underwear and beaten unmercifully, and hear her mom get called a "dimestore gold-digging skank" and get kissed by another man. And somehow Karen Angle and AJ Styles get married. I HATE TNA SO FUCKING MUCH.

Lushy, I would step right over both the girl in your avatar and the one in your sig combined to get to Blanchett.

What Mole said. I smell a little bit of gay in here.

I briefly made an ill-advised change to "J*ingus Christ", but otherwise have had the same name since back in the yellow-board days. Aside from a short period when I changed it to Akira Taue (if you don't know, don't ask) I've had the same avatar the whole time too.

Yeah, that's nice. For many Americans like myself, neither of those are a possible option. Don't bother, I've tried to tell him this before. Like, in my area of Texas, there's no public transportation whatsoever, and riding a bike on these roads would be suicide. Of course, TX also gives tax breaks to anyone who buys a truck, van, SUV, or anything else larger than a regular car. The get classified as "work vehicles", allegedly for farms. So maybe it's just that Texas is actively trying to get people to burn gas all around.

Whole lotta Dark Tower round here. "They hate us because of our freedoms? But really because they're evil. I know they're evil. I was just thinking that maybe if we understood what specifically seemed to trigger the- Why are you apologizing for the terrorists?" from Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them by Al Franken.

And Mystery Science Theater. And OAOAST. And repeatedly failing to get a GED. He still posts at the Pit sometimes.

Because it would essentially be a License To Fuck. As long as you're not born sterile, any time a man and a woman have vaginal intercourse they run the risk of conceiving a fetus. Thus you're basically criminalizing sex. (And don't say Safe Sex, because it doesn't really exist.) I don't like the amount of control our government tries to exercise over people's genitalia now, much less adding on any more fascist bullshit. These "undesirables shouldn't breed" theories are not new, and Hitler was real fond of them. Man I'm not happy about having missed this thread, you can't BUY stupidity like that.

Dude... please stop. Bizarre, that was my next-nearest book.

"Phew." Lavaeolus leaned against a hull, took off his helmet, and wiped his forehead. "That's a load off my mind, I'll tell you. I was afraid the gods might have a grudge against me." Faust Eric by Terry Pratchett

Yes. Direct quote from my brother, during our one and only trip to that state, after buying a pack of gum: "...and it's stale! This state blows!" We flew into Baltimore, took a cab ride from some serial killer who ran a service in a SUV, bought a car from a guy who looked even more like a serial killer, drove over a headache-inducing assortment of crooked roads laid out in a counterintuitive fashion, and ate at the very worst Shoneys I've ever been to. (And I've been to a lot of Shoneyses, and none of them were all that good, so "very worst Shoneys" is a fairly strong statement.) Yet, once we drove over the line into Delaware, everything magically got better like someone flicked a switch.

I've never bought the "gateway drug" arguement. Marijuana is just the first illegal drug that anyone tries because it's by far the most commonly used and easiest to get ahold of. I think smoking weed is an symptom of someone who's already open to doing other stuff, not something which takes innocent whitebread folks and leads them down the path to hell. If it were legal, saying that it leads to other drugs would be almost exactly like claiming that tobacco and alcohol are gateway drugs.

But not forever. He fought the law and, the law won. Or if you prefer, he shot the mayor, but he did not shoot the deputy mayor.

Eat the cracker, get a mod spot.

True, but there's a difference between a homeless alchololic and beggars who wear nice clothes, eat in expensive restaurants, and live in hotels which are at least ritzy enough to offer a continental breakfast. The news about a family of parasites like that would get around pretty damn quick in a town that small, and I can't see how anyone would give these fuckers money. This story just sounds like there's something missing.

Upon doing a little research, this story sounds fishy. According to the article, they're staying in Ashland, OR long term. But according to Wiki, Ashland is a fairly small town of only 20,000 people. How the hell would these beggars somehow keep getting money from the same limited pool of beggees on a long term basis?

Back off, man. He's a scientist.

I am deeply ashamed that nobody has mentioned what is obviously thr most important part of this whole situation: they fired Al Snow too.

Yeah, because your body is 100% pimple-free, I'm sure. Exactly. It's a damn Woody Allen movie. There's never been anything sexy in a Woody Allen movie. Don't get your hopes up, people.

Sometimes people do just drop dead for no apparent reason. Very rarely, but there are enough documented cases of a healthy young person suffering a heart attack or stroke out of nowhere. I'm not saying that's what happened here, but don't say "that doesn't happen" because it occasionally does. I'm still wondering why, with the countless missing persons and murder cases in the world, this one is STILL getting so much media attention. Apparently journalists are still of the opinion that rich pretty white girls are the most important people on earth.

After just today slogging through a whole bunch of episodes of Lost in which they teased all kinds of stuff but nothing important actually happened, yes, I will join you in your crusade against J.J. Abrahms, my real American brotha.

And KISS, and Beetlejuice, and the ICP, and Courtney Cox, and probably several others I'm forgetting, and that was just in 2000. Of course, this is the company which brought us Jay Leno: Main Event Wrestler... and his match was BETTER than the abortions featuring Dennis Rodman. Hey, there's a great candidate: Rodman/Hogan vs. Malone/DDP. I want that forty minutes of my life back. A long WCW tradition, going back to Robocop running in on the Horsemen.

No, I'm another one. IV was the first old-school Wrestlemania I saw on video, so I have a soft spot for it. Plus I'm a mark for tournaments. Plus it was the only Mania which didn't have goddamn Hogan in the main event. Yes, he had a couple of brief runs. The Polaco thing was in, what, 2005? He also had a run sometime around 2003 with a mini-feud against Jerry Lynn. I fondly remember one time they were shooting a backstage fight between the two, and Justin thought that security was being too aggressive in their pulling-apart, and started screaming "Let go of me! It's fucking fake!" Damn near every WCW ppv from their beginning to the bitter end had at least one match on there that absolutely nobody wanted to see.

TOO SOON