Jingus

I leave the board to catch up on Flight of The Concords and fall asleep shaving his balls and this happens.

Oh, and don't ask what happened to them. There were earlier threads detailing the specifics, but all traces of their existence has been erased. Hell, even bringing it up like this might be enough to get you Put Away.

The daemonic, unearthly howling of the sound.

I despised them at the time, but if you go back and watch, T&A really weren't a bad team. They were both relatively quick and agile for big hosses, and surely introducing the world to Trish must count for something. I recently saw a 6-person match they had against the Hardys & Lita which was perfectly decent wrestling, both Albert and Test working hard to make their opponents look great. Why were they so hated? The stupid team name? Albert's body hair? Mick Foley's jokes at Test's expense in his books becoming contagious among the fanbase? Being a merely competent tag team in the WWF in 2000 when the tag division was the strongest it's ever been? I hated them too, and looking back on that time I'm really not sure why. Test was never great, but he wasn't horrible either. Him and Mike Knox of all people had a fun little feud with Dreamer and Sandman of all people back in 2006.

Where do you get the props for these? Do you just think "hey, I happen to have an old hardhat in the back of my closet, let's use it for the Steven Regal routine because it would fit well with this testosteriffic post", or do you get the ideas first and then go procure the gimmicks? Speaking of testosterone, I was posting at another marks about Test dying. I posted a link to Meltzer's report about it... and only afterwards did I realize no, I had more recently copied another URL and I'd actually posted the link to Brody's most recent video. I corrected my error, but I must admit I was tempted to just leave it.

Ted Dibiase Sr.'s dad dropped dead in the ring, IIRC. So did one of the original Moondogs. There have also been car wrecks, murders, brain anuerisms, various other non-drug deaths.

In that brief instant between reading this topic's title and then reading Klosterman's name in the description, did anyone else think this was gonna be a Hunter S. Thompson thread? I do that. My favorites are those two books Ebert put out with only negative reviews. When he hated hated hated a movie that really sucks, he's fairly vicious in a hilarious way. But I've also got Kael's For Keeps, a phonebook-sized collection of various reviews from across her 40-year career. I thought I complained a lot about movies. If you've never read her stuff, imagine Chris Coey as a film critic. Pauline seemed like she had higher standards than anyone else on the planet, and apparently she utterly despised about 80% of the movies she reviewed. And I don't mean the usual critical punching bags like Friday the 13th, Kael goes on the rampages where she disses everything from Raging Bull to The Little Mermaid. She was the only critic who actually had the balls to give Shoah a negative review, fer chrissake. But as godthedog implied, she does tend to ask questions and find nuances that nobody else can; she overanalyzes the movies so thoroughly that she drags up stuff I'm sure even the filmmakers never considered. So while I agree with her less than half the time, it can be fun to read a dissenting opinion which is stated in such a challenging manner.

So he waited five years without posting, only to come back with THAT? I... but... why'd he... ARGH. Even by internet standards, that is inexplicably dumb.

Another Friday, another mixed bag. -I forget if I mentioned this before, but the title credits sequence is pretty bad. "La la la LA la, la la la LA la", while Echo walks around looking like she's reenacting old episodes of Silk Stalkings, ugh. The only part which doesn't feel like I'm watching The OC: Counter Terrorist Division is that bit at the very end where you get the abstract light pattern and the music-box-winding-down chime. -I'm hoping that all this rapid-fire acting challenges will somehow make Dushku into a better performer. Hasn't worked so far, though. Her trying to play "blind" was just awful, as were line readings such as "Move your ass!". -Why can't they just do an episode centered around the damn Dollhouse itself and forget about the missions? The bits where Topher and Saunders were watching for boners in the shower, that was hilarious. I'd way rather watch a plot focusing on the supporting tech people than always watching Eliza trying to emote and somehow coming out the same "badass bitch grrl power" every time. -I'm not feeling this Law & Order style of "ripped from the headlines!" stories which are based on notorious recent events. No, the fact that there are so many wacky religious cult compounds in Texas does not mean that it's great to invent a new one for your show; it's a shopworn cliche by now. Hell, what was this one doing that was so bad? They had a bunch of guns, but I'm not sure why, since they seemed to be doing zero illegal activities which could get them in trouble. No explanation was given for their paranoia. -The one good part of Eliza's adventures is the amount of time that gets spent on Boyd. The actor has a fairly thankless part of being the straight man and voice of reason, but he's got that "I am a tall, noble, dignified black man and every word I say in my deep voice sounds like Gospel" kind of Dennis Haysbert thing which makes him seem utterly trustworthy and reliable. -While we're at it, let's give a cheer to Amy Acker for showing off her ability. Her doctor character here is superficially similar to how she was on Angel, but she's utterly changed everything from her voice to her posture to the way she uses her facial muscles. When she's Fred or Illyria or Saunders, it almost feels like you're not looking at the same person. -Why does the blond security guy hate Echo so much, and why is he such a fucking asshole about it? I know he's afraid of getting another Alpha but that doesn't explain trapping her in a burning building, trying to make her die in a fire. Plus he's always just a fucking asshole to everyone, which makes it hard to give a shit about a guy when he's such a one-dimensional plot device. Ya fucking asshole. I'm glad Vic Mackey shot you in the face. -The preview for next week's episode was like a parody of Fox's usual previews. "NEXT WEEK, EVERYTHING WILL CHANGE AND NOTHING WILL BE THE SAME AGAIN!" Fuck off. It's been years since shows like Drawn Together have been making fun of that shit.

I am shocked by the amount of Hartnett love here. Never could stand the dude, I always found him to be totally insincere; I always saw him trying to act, and not the character he was supposed to be. I can tolerate him when he's shoved into the background of an ensemble like Sin City or Blackhawk Down, but any time he's a leading man it's nails-on-chalkboard time as far as I'm concerned. Maybe it's just a personal thing, I usually hate John Cusack too, and most people disagree with me on that one as well.

I'm amused that there are still people out there who first play the old "you're all socially-maladjusted virgins living in dark basements" chestnut, and then follow up on any retorts with "I don't care what you say anyway, just see how much I don't care, I laugh at you all, WATCH ME LAUGH".

Oh yeah. Not since I was a kid, or at least not a real hard shot since I was a kid (wrestlers are some sadistic bastards, and some will literally whack you in the nuts just to say hello) but you never forget that kind of pain. I've heard that there are supposedly guys out there who just get mad if they get hit in the groin, and I am utterly flabbergasted by such a response. When it happened to me, the only available option seemed to be keeling over into a fetal ball and not moving for a couple minutes. EDIT: now I wonder if that's why my junk is bent slightly downward, instead of a straight line or up up and away like the majority of penises seem to.

Oh godDAMNit, it's another masterpiece from that fucking moron Alex Jones, aka the guy who made that "documentary" Endgame which was thoroughly disembowled in this thread. Without even bothering to watch it, lemme guess: something to do with the New World Order and a sinister plot which goes something like: 1.deceive and kill lots of people; 2.......; 3.PROFIT! EDIT: wait a second. Out of curiosity, I checked to see what thecobra2's other 34 posts were sbout. The post quoted here was the only one that came up, as if it's the only thing he's ever typed. How does that work?

Holy shit, NOAH FENTZ is reading this thread. I'm not naming any nominees now, but please, someone grab him.

I was thrown off the first time I saw that, too. "What? Did he get busted with steroids on his person or something?" I actually pulled up the Observer website to check the headlines before I remembered the angle. That being said, why the hell was HHH ever rumored to actually be considered as the starring hero of a major big-budget franchise film? Aside from Rock, no wrestler has ever been trusted with anything close to that, and anyone who saw HHH in Blade Trinity can tell you that he's no Rock when it comes to acting. I've never seen any sources on why his name was floating around for the Thor role. As far as I can tell, it all started after he came out dressed as Hunter The Barbarian at Wrestlemania 22. That being said, the cast is the colorless vampire dude from True Blood and fucking Josh Hartnett? Ewww.

GodDAMN they knocked it out of the park with this episode. Crowning moments of awesome, one after another. Though I do wonder what the hell Matt & Trey are doing with watching all the preteen girl fads recently. First it was High School Musical, then Twilight, now this.

I don't think it was exactly intended to be a straight sequel to the first film. Lots of major plot elements from the first film are completely ignored: Banner's father, the genetic tinkering, the nuclear blast during Bruce's childhood (hell, did that ever get explained in the first Hulk?), stuff like that. Plus, they explicitly changed the origin story of how he became the Hulk in the first place, basically reverting back to the Bixby/Ferrigno television version. I think they just started the story off with Banner in the jungle again to avoid confusing people who saw the first movie but aren't comic fans and don't understand how comic franchises retcon things all the time and fans mostly just accept it. Plus, it was a logical starting point anyway, with Banner hiding away from the world until he's found by Ross again.

Isn't the show dead last in the ratings among shows in its timeslot for network programming? Pretty sure I read that somewhere. If true, then yeah, hoping we get all 13 filmed episodes is pretty much the best we can do. Echo is indeed starting to remember things. But she's recalling very little, very gradually. And it's not her old life she's remembering, but instead she seems to be retaining tiny little pieces of her fake reprogrammed personalities. Nope. Apparently the Dollhouse makes all its agents exercise a lot and stay in great shape, but that's all, nothing superhuman. (Except maybe Alpha, who is vaguely hinted to have extraordinary abilities, but we haven't really gotten that far yet.) Aside from Handlers = Watchers, none of this has even been implied. Could happen, but basically that's just fantasy booking, and anyway the show doesn't look like it's gonna stick around long enough to get to further storylines like that.

Brave New World always felt whiny to me. I was forced to read the damn thing twice, both before and after I lost my virginity, and both times I was perplexed by Huxley's weird prudish take on the sex. "OMG, there will be ORGIES in teh FUTURE! Isn't that just AWFUL?" Um. No. When writing a book in which you're trying to warn people about the possibilities of a future dystopia, shouldn't you be trying to make this speculative society sound like it's not a whole lot of fun? Considering it's about a bunch of gang members who are all dressed in pastels and all look about 30, plus singing and dancing, I'd imagine that one's a tough sell to today's youth. That actually reminds me of the strangest book I ever saw in my high school library. They had a novelized version of West Side Story. In case anyone else was as confused by that concept as I was, please let me repeat it for clarity: a novelization of a musical. What. I still don't understand why such a book would exist, let alone why that library had three or four copies of it.

Aw god, I'd reppressed those dark memories of some former "friends" making me watch Flavor of Love with them, and now the flashbacks have come flooding in like a tidal wave.

Jeez, how long was it since I wrote that? Seven years ago, iirc. I did eventually run into that girl again and had a brief conversation, nothing special but enough for closure. And having various other girlfriends and one night stands since then did ease the pain a wee bit. What was the name of that one guy years ago who posted a thread, something along the lines of "bitches ain't shit" where he talked about how all women were useless whores and he'd rather just masturbate forever than deal with them? That one had some gems which would be perfect for Mr. Brody here. Also, as long as we're talking about years-old legendary posts, FK Teale should really be represented here.

I'm not sure if that glass was gimmicked. If it was, whoever gimmicked it needed to give the WWE their money back. It didn't break quite like fake glass usually does. Both guys were absolutely cut to ribbons and bleeding all over after they went through it. I think it did hurt that match in one aspect; the crowd simply didn't buy the following Mick Kick as a finisher. There was kind of a "what the fuck, it's over?" vibe when she got the three count.

These days Keanu seems like he's just totally unwilling to do anything besides standard leading man parts (aside from the rare occasions when he does a favor for someone showing up in their indy movie). I could actually see him succeeding in some other parts. Like, imagine him taking a shot at the Brad Pitt part in Burn After Reading. See what I mean? If he was willing to poke fun at himself and not be so damn serious all the time, it might improve some people's opinions of him.

I had a pair of Birkenstocks back in high school. (And that's the only pair of sandals I've ever owned, Kotz, your sandal fetish is freakin' me out.) I'd badly broken a toe, and couldn't wear regular shoes for a couple weeks. Apparently my parents thought that the most expensive kind possible would somehow speed the healing process, and shelled out for the 'stocks. They were... okay, I guess. Sandals are sandals, it's not a complex piece of equipment. Not really much better than any other cheap generic-brand, so I don't see the point unless you're just one of those guys who insists on having conspicuously expensive clothing.

Yeah, that was Great Sasuke vs Jushin Liger in the 1994 J-Cup tournament. Sasuke goes for a springboard but falls and faceplants. Liger instantly does this hilarious sarcastic clapping for the fuckup.