Jingus

Holy fuck, I had blocked that one out of my memory. GodDAMN that was the most frustrating dungeon I've ever played in my life. It gives you no clue whatsoever about what you're doing or where you're going, just expects you to go deeper and deeper into the maze. A maze with no save points!!! ARRGH. I'd rather have to do a damn escort mission where I had to drag a retarded child through an underwater swimming level before ever playing another long-ass maze with no save points. And then, in one of the treasure chest rooms, I ran into some random new enemy which killed me in two hits. Despite the fact that my characters were levelled-up enough to beat the game, a goddamn Monster In A Box killed me in two hits. That's worse than FFVII's Weapons could ever hope to be. Fuck that. Any time the difficulty suddenly ramps WAY up without warning is not fun. Like, I was just re-visiting Earthbound, and was spending plenty of time levelling up and going along just fine until out of nowhere the boss of the second dungeon was all like "You call Level 28 adequate preparation? LOL k thx bye" and stepped on me.

Don't mind Jearan, he's just an absolutely sheeplike TNA mark. Absolutely wrong, TNA signs half the guys WWE fires. Raven, Perry Saturn, Ken Shamrock, Ron Killings, Christy Hemme, Dustin Rhodes, the New Age Outlaws, Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, the Bashams, all three Dudleys, Jerry Lynn, Justin Credible, Scott Steiner, Gail Kim, ODB, Jacqueline Moore, Angelina Love, Jim Cornette, Vince Russo, Jeff Hardy, Jackie Gayda, Test, Rikishi, Christian, Tomko, Rhino, Booker T, and Kurt Angle. All "WWE rejects". All hired by TNA. Meanwhile, who has Vince bothered to sign that TNA dropped? Mickie James, CM Punk, Trevor Murdock, Trinity, and Zach Gowan. That's it. Obviously TNA wants what the WWE has more than vice versa. But Vince FEARS~! TNA, dammit! Plus, Carlito's dad is good friends with TNA booker Dutch Mantell, who spent half his career in Puerto Rico working for him. Plus Carlito is an established name and a popular midcarder, no matter how the internet feels about him. He'd get a job. Vince already has the only Latin draw he thinks he'll ever need in Misterio. And why the hell would he fear TNA? How have they taken "the real talent out of the WWE" and turned them into "superstars"? TNA didn't steal anybody, they're picking up crumbs from the WWE's table in the guys that they fired They're wrestling for less money, in front of a MUCH smaller audience.

In the face of such sheer perversion, keeping one's composure can be difficult. (I'd have gone with "you'll have to pay, just like everyone else on my livecam" or "my tits are so massive that even a little bit would break this board's bandwidth limit" or if nothing else the old standby "you first".) (...on second thought, around here, "you first" is probably not a good option. They might actually do it, and good lord nobody needs to see that.) So I'm watching some of the stuff I ganked, and maybe I should retract my earlier statement about Mickie Knuckles making me happy. Right now, she's making me feel like one of Kitty Genovese's neighbors. In a deathmatch with some perfectly named dude called Brain Damage, he takes a piece of barbed wire and just cuts the living shit out of her arm. It ain't gimmicked, the camera is right next to them and you can clearly see, this man is really stabbing the living shit out of this woman's arm. She just kind of crumples into the corner and starts screaming and crying and begging for him to stop, and it's like watching a real live horror movie happen right in front of you. I feel like such a piece of shit just for having watched that. Yeah, it turns out she's kinda faking him out and goes for a rollup attempt right afterwards, but still, she couldn't have possibly sold it that well if she didn't actually feel at least a little bit that way, down deep inside her slowly suffocating soul. Then again, Mickie has the distinction of having delivered the single hardest unarmed strike I've ever received in my life. Not during a match, after the show, because some mark bribed her five bucks to do it. Come to think of it, she probably asked the guy to do that to her. Still, I feel dirty, like I just watched a donkey show or something. ::listens to Tori Amos albums in order to feel better::

Well, she not only didn't run screaming from , she even provided a lolcat counterattack. Looks like we might have a keeper. And oh yeah, I've already been downloading the hell out of your website. Watching Mickie Knuckles matches for free makes me happy. You know, DOWN THERE. Now load up some Daffney and more Chuck Taylor content. AND A SANDWICH.

My thoughts on the Carpenter movies I've seen, in chronological order: Assault on Precinct 13: oft-forgotten, mostly unseen little gem which I think is one of his better efforts. Creepy as hell, with one particular moment which made me laugh harder than I ever have in my entire life. Halloween: just a good horror movie. Not certain why it's got such an All-Time Classic label, other than helping to start the Invincible Masked Killer, Sex = Death, Holiday Horror Title, and POV KillerCam cliches. And I said "helping", it didn't invent any of those, it just popularized them after becoming such a huge smash. The Fog: underrated li'l horror flick. Not the scariest movie ever made, but a perfectly competent thriller, and absolutely pisses on the remake in every possible way. Escape From New York: I've never particularly liked the way Carpenter films his action scenes, they're often somewhat static and clumsy, and his action movies suffer IMHO because of this. However, this one has a great campy hero in Snake Plissken and a perfect supporting cast, plus the giant empty sets of NYC gone to ruin are pretty cool. Halloween II: yeah, I know Carpenter didn't direct it, but he wrote the script. A big letdown compared to the first film, just a dumb by-the-numbers slasher flick which was just as generic and low-rent as any of the Halloween ripoffs. The Thing: Carpenter's best movie, and one of the rare few films I've ever seen that still has the power to actually scare me. It's just all perfect: the paranoid writing, jittery acting, claustrophobic direction, unusual setting, general atmosphere, and especially those effects which are simultaneously so awe-inspiring and completely nauseating. Awesome, groundbreaking horror movie which doesn't get the respect it deserves. They Live: eh. It's okay. Not great. Some of the underlying themes are pretty cute, although a couple of nonsensical plot twists and Carpenter's aforementioned problems with directing shootouts keep it from being anything classic. In the Mouth of Madness: I need to watch this one again sometime, but I remember it being a damn fine film, feeling very different from the director's other stuff. Like, in most earlier Carpenter films, I can look at the flat lighting on people giving somewhat wooden line readings with synthesized music in the background and go "yeah, that's a John Carpenter production", but iirc this one was nothing like that. I didn't know anything about Lovecraft when I watched it, but god knows it's better than any other adaptation I've seen of Howard Phillip's work on the screen. Escape From LA: crap. Everything EFNY did right, this one did wrong. Everything EFNY did wrong, this one also did wrong. Film-wreckingly horrible CGI effects which are worse than anything on the SciFi Channel these days combine with a distracting all-star cast and some lamebrained scenes to create one big pile of suck. The ending is the worst part, I really don't think Carpenter thought through all the implications of Snake's final action. Vampires: it took a good, unconventional book and dumbed it down into an achingly derivative gore flick. James Woods is always good, but the rest of the movie sure as hell wasn't. The constant misogyny is especially pretty hard to stomach. Like From Dusk Til Dawn without the sense of humor.

Oh CHRIST, are you serious? It is now my mission in life to see this movie. This is like bad movie manna from heaven.

Oh yeah, forgot about that one. Although, the plot: a closed-off older man acts as a mentor to a streetwise young genius... yeah... maybe Gus only has one basic story he can tell worth a shit.

Aside from Good Will Hunting, which was okay but not exceptional, has Van Zant ever made anything that was any good at all? I actually bought a ticket to his Psycho, and I feel to this day that he owes me eight bucks.

Well, consider that most of the people who go on the postal rampages usually aren't professional gunmen or anything. They tend to be dumb kids or civilian wallflowers who've often rarely fired a gun in their lives. People who have a lot of experience with guns and know how to use them correctly usually don't abuse that knowledge. That's the problem that pretty much gets ignored every time one of these things happen: in America, there's simply no good way to prevent the random kamikaze massacres. Like how one of the post-Columbine school shootings happened (forgot which one, take your pick). Remember how schools forced students to have see-thru backpacks, hired security guards, and installed metal detectors and cameras? Well, the crazed shooters just walked into the school carrying their guns, shot the security guards, and calmly strolled past the scanners and cameras.

The Destroyer is just a plain hard move to take, you've got to be relatively small and a great bumper for it to work right. For an example of what happens otherwise, look at every cringe-inducing time that Sharkboy took the move.

Who wants to start a pool on how long before someone blames video games and/or rock music for this.

Bryan just probably never went through withdrawal himself. People who've never been hooked on drugs often tend to disbelieve just how powerful addiction can be. So he didn't even think of the "pain pill problem + going to rehab = lots of not-fun mornings" part. Read to me like he was making more of a "listen to the sheltered rookie whine about how much he hurts after his long gruelling Two Whole Years in the business" joke.

Alvarez needs to work more shows in the South. Sometimes literally half the noise the crowd ever makes is just heat on the referee. They HATE refs down there.

About a third of these people are still here, about a third have just mysteriously vanished (where did Spicy get to?), and a third of 'em post at the Pit but not here anymore. For that final third, Marney's stance here might raise an eyebrow.

What the fuck do they want, cash prizes? Everyone who made the decisions that led to that war are all dead. The only people who lived through it and are still alive were children themselves then. It's okay if you don't want to forget, but jesus let it go already.

So, will the fact that she's got kids keep half the board from reacting to her the same way they do to every female, i.e. first be creepy "show ur tirts" pervs and then call her an attention whore if she actually does?

I was fine with everything except for the very end. Meadow tries to parallel park her car for half an hour straight, and then that goddamn cut to black which was so random and poorly timed that back then I literally thought my cable had gone out. Everything else was just about perfect, but I still don't see what the point was in ending it on such a bizarre note, and am mystified by the interviews with Chase where he said that he didn't understand why it pissed some people off.

Toxxic apparently never got the Official Internet Memo about Carlito being a worthless lazy load who never puts forth one ounce of effort, in fact he wrestles in a wheelchair, an electric wheelchair at that, and we here on the internet never liked him, NEVER dammit! Of course TNA would bring him in, in an instant. Don't forget that one of their head bookers, Dutch Mantell, spent like half his career in Puerto Rico and knows the whole Colon family very well. I can understand why WWE would want to prevent this, considering that half of WCW's boom period in the 90s came from poaching and repackaging WWF rejects that Vince saw no use for anymore.

No, just examples of other stuff that were fads during the same time period. Can't really say Nine Inch Nails or Tim Burton when they're still putting out new material.

Dude, there IS no "gothic" bandwagon. That went away along with the Smashing Pumpkins, Daria, and other relics of that era. And you're right, I'm not a fan. Because I was a TV play-by-play commentator for five years. Including for many matches with various people who worked for TNA. And since I lived in Nashville, I went to a shitload of their shows. I'm not talking out of ignorance. Neither are the others here. That guy Scroby for example last month refereed the main event match of that Frisco wrestling convention with none less than the Great Fricking Muta in it. He's got more than two clues to rub together. As for the rest of the posters here, most of 'em aren't just shitting on TNA for no reason. Oh it IS fun, no doubt about that, but they're not just lying or making up shit just for the hell of it. If they say they dislike the show, it's because they really did dislike the show, or the booking, or the general direction of the company throughout its history.

You fucking troll. If you want to mindlessly clutter up the TNA folder with blind fanboy rants about the crappiest PPV in months, that's your business, but don't drag it into other sections of the board.

This is one of the reason why this is SHOCKING! Whatever they were building is gravely in jeopardy with what has happenned... they have to bring damage control to avoid it backfiring... but then again, the SUSPENCE that it builds is also a major plus!!! A suspence we haven't seen since WCW days!!! A "suspence" we haven't seen since Nash no-showed that one match against Chris Sabin. He had a bad case of jobberitis, as I recall. Or since the Tennessee Titans attorney was all like "Hey guys, Pacman can't wrestle". Or since Rikishi went all like "Dude, I'm so above this job". Or since Booker decided that a company without a drug testing policy might be more his speed. Or since Amazing Kong had the world's scariest wardrobe malfunction. Or since they hired Test, and then realized they hired Test. Or...

One word: VARIETY. Nothing is more of a chore to watch than a show where all the matches look alike. Some of the old ECW shows had that problem with endless brawling through the crowd, and some of the ROH shows now do that with too many nonstop spotfests and/or Japanese-style matches what with the stiffness and headdrops and such. In that respect, yeah, WM2000 wasn't a well-planned card. WAY too many big tag matches and three-ways and four-ways and everything but a damn ordinary singles match, of which they didn't have any. Also as noted they didn't blow off any of their storylines, plus the finish to the main event was the most politically pathetic thing I've ever seen. The WM18 one is easy to say in hindsight. At the time I remember a lot of arguments back and forth online about which match should go on last. Of course, with HHH going for the title, who's gonna be on last? (And don't counter with WM19, that's one which definitely doesn't count.)

I'm still laughing my ass off at his claim that we're all Vince's paid spies. A few golden quotes which really need to be repeated: Either this guy does a spectacularly funny impression of being a fucking moron, or he IS a fucking moron beyond belief. Actually... all those damn ellipses in the middle of his badly-typed hyperbole... why does that seem familiar... holy shit, it's former WWF magazine editorial writer Vic Venom! Ah, okay, Russo has invaded TSM, it all makes sense now.