Jingus

Remember this? After a hard month of walking cross-continent, Bob Barron finally makes it to New York City in his search for Dames. Before strolling into town, he stops to admire the "Welcome to New York" sign set up just outside the city limits. BB: "Ah, I can feel it, things are about to get interesting." VRRROOOOOOOOOOMMM!!! A sinister, unmarked black Toyota Corolla (with all the windows painted over) rams into the Welcome sign and destroys it, also happening to murder Bob in the process. After sitting idle for a moment, the driver's side door swings open. A smoking cigarette BUTT is hurled from inside to the pavement. Followed by another cigarette BUTT. Followed by an empty six-pack of Smirnoff Ice. Followed by a stack of stuck-together, badly used porno mags. Followed by another cigarette BUTT. Followed by a drained bottle of Southern Comfort. Followed by a mostly-empty bag of suspicious greenish-brown plant matter. Followed by a pile of stinking Jack In The Box burger wrappers. Followed by an entire boxful of ashtrays, all filled with cigarette butts. And finally, the man, the myth, the legend, Jingus steps out. Two more lit cigs still hang from his lips. He's dressed in all black, from his wrinkled trenchcoat to his Doc Marten boots. His hair is mussed and greasy, as if it hasn't been washed in weeks. Smeared black sunglasses cover his eyes, and he's got a .40 Glock handgun stuffed into his side pocket. He coughs, and keeps coughing for a while. When he finally stops, he removes the two cigarettes from his mouth long enough to spit a truly impressive load of phlegm onto the sidewalk, before quickly replacing the cancer sticks. Finally, he draws breath, and speaks: "Home sweet home." Jingus then goes into another coughing fit, damn near hacking his lungs up, before finally puking on the ground. (Now, we skip a few minutes; you really don't want all the ugly biological details.) Eventually, Jingus is able to stand up straight and speak again, which he does, in between chain-smoking a variety of Camels and Marlboros all together at once. "Fuck 'em all. Fuck all those assholes. I leave for a few months, and what do I get? Not one fucking email. Not one goddamn PM. Not even a dumbass thread in Feedback asking where I was. They... forgot about me." He pauses here to do some real quality deep-lung inhaling, before continuing on. "I knew who Marney was long before she ever stepped foot out of CE. I met Popick in person. TWICE. (And he never shuts up about saving the fucking board.) Zack took over MY goddamn mod spot. Me and Jay even talk to some of the same Wildside workers." At this point, Jingus stops, takes out his gun, and fires a couple of rounds into Bob's mutilated corpse. "Yeah... Shooter Jay... I hate that fuck. I hate him. He took away everything. EVERYTHING, goddamn it! Christ, look at me now... look at the hollow shell of a man that I've become. It's all your fault Jay, YOUR fault! I'm gonna kill you if it's the last thing I ever do!" (At this point, Popick quickly explains something about Jay's current Kenny-like condition to the writer.) "Oh. Shit. Nevermind. Can't do anything worse to him than that." Instead, he reaches a mildly trembling hand into his pocket, and takes out a wicked-looking bloodstained scalpel. "But it's been a while since we had a good Dissection 'round these parts. Lotsa fresh meat around here. Lotsa dumbass newbies who don't respect, know, or even care where this board came from. They think Banky is the acme of wit, for chrissakes. Fucking Banky. If these punks ever ran into FK Teale, they'd piss their fucking pants. I'll teach 'em, that's for goddamn sure. I'll show 'em all." Takes one last long drag off his cigs, studies them for a moment, burns his fingers, curses loudly for several minutes, before calming down and lighting another one. "Fuckers. All of 'em. And then... (long drag)... there's Dames. Wow. That'll be interesting, when I run into him again. Heh. A hah. Ha ha ha. MWA HA HA HA HAAAAAA HAAAAAACK COUGH cough wheeze."

On the whole "the drug dealers were tipped off and got rid of their stuff" argument: How in the world could every single drug-possessing kid in school have been warned about it in time, and perfectly got rid off all their stash, with no remaining evidence? I'd find it easier to believe that there was nothing there in the first place, and that's pretty darm hard to swallow by itself.

I was on the EZboard, joined up just a few months before Keith & co. abandoned ship and Dames took over, would've been mid-late 2001.

Abyss is otherwise known as Prince Justice elsewhere on the indy scene, or sometimes just Justice. I think he started doing the Abyss gimmick in IWA, and it was a pretty blatant Kane ripoff (Puerto Rican wrestling companies do this kind of thing all the time), before TNA retooled it into its current form. And I got to manage him once, too. ::does the Dance of Massively Overinflated Ego::

A spotfest is a type of match, not a type of wrestler; it's when the participants in a match just do highspot after highspot without much actual wrestling in between, sacrificing the storytelling in order to do crazy stunts. A high-flyer is a wrestler who tends to jump from high surfaces onto low surfaces, usually with his opponent in between, and does it a whole lot. A luchadore is any Mexican wrestler, who usually start out their careers wearing a mask, and wrestle using slightly different rules and styles than standard American wrestling.

The only ones I've heard of on there are Bailey and Prazak. Where are Jim Mitchell and Mortimer Plumbtree?

Sorry, but you're wrong. Nashville has always had a small group of hardcore fans who always cheer the heels. There are a few more now than there used to be, but still, it's nothing new. But for the most part, TNA has a fairly standard audience as wrestling crowds go. And the Heel Section certainly wasn't one of TNA or Russo's brainstorms, as they were eventually asked by TNA to stop booing the babyfaces and cheering the heels, and they have boycotted the show ever since then because of it.

Well, some of us prefer good ol' generic gameplay to watching a movie. I can't tell you how many times in the last 2 hours of MGS2 that I wished the PS2 had a fast-forward button on the controller. Of course, my opinions are generally shared by nobody, my favorite games from the FF series are IV and X, so, uh, pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!

I thougt Bloodlines was tolerable, but not one of the better games in the series. The graphics and sound were sub-par compared to SC4, the controls seemed less precise, and the bosses were uninspired at best. The much-hyped "gore" in the game mostly limited itself to the first stage. And what the hell happened to the plot at the beginning of the game? Something about a witch reviving Dracula, and the Bloody Countess, Elizabeth Bathonry, but then you get to the end of the game and it's all been forgotten. I've never played Dracula X, though of course I've heard about it. What's it like?

Bobby Heenan was a Michael Hayes type, in that he both wrestled and managed back in the 60s and 70s, although he was always more a manager than a worker. (Oddly enough, it was future hardcore legend Atsushi Onita who ended Bobby's in-ring career in the early 80s, with a kneedrop off the top rope that broke Bobby's neck.) As far as I know, and I read his book cover to cover, he was always a heel.

I actually like this one better than the original. It's like, they got all the REALLY obvious stuff out of the way in the first run, so now they're free to play with slightly more obscure topics. All I know is I had Chris Jericho on my television, babbling semi-coherently about Donkey Kong. You can't pay for that kind of entertainment.

I'm sure some episode of Cops had some trailer park girl tossing around used tampons or something.

What I meant was, that the foreign countries seemed to only ever be covered in their relation to Europe. Take China, for example. Here's a country with a long, rich, varied history dating back longer than most Western nations. But it got hardly a mention in the textbook at all, until the Brits colonized it. Same thing with Japan; it's like they didn't exist before Commadore Perry showed up. I don't think that India got so much as a page devoted to itself. Russia was practically ignored, while printing all the pages that recounted England's exploits probably deforested some jungles. The various empires in Africa went unmentioned, unless they were killed in some horrific manner by Western colonials. The Byzantine and Ottoman Empires got mere footnotes, while Charlemagne got his own whole chapter. The Incas, Aztecs, Mayans, etc. were all shoved into a couple of "so the Spaniards came to the Americas and killed everybody" type paragraphs. Now, if this class were called European History, I wouldn't mind it at all. But it wasn't. It was called WORLD History. But damned if it didn't tell you much about most of the world.

All the bolded ones have already been done somewhere or another in primetime, depending on what your definition of "bodily fluids" means.

Heenan and Steamboat are the only two I'm certain about never jumping the fence, since I've heard them say so themselves in interviews. However, like SS said, I can't see Iron Sheik being face or some of the Von Erichs being heel.

Ah, that would be Haunted Castle you're talking about there. Didn't know there was anyone else besides me who'd ever played the damn thing. And yeah, boy howdy, did it suck. Whoever heard of an arcade game that wouldn't let you drop another quarter continue?! But Simon's Quest? Simon's Quest ruled. Yeah, it was RPG-ish, but think of it this way: without Simon's Quest, do you think there ever would've been a Symphony of the Night?

I gotta weigh in here on the whole "Spike tried to rape Buffy" debate. And lemme say right up front, no, don't take this as any kind of blaming-the-victim "she was asking for it" kind of bullshit. Think about this: on pretty much every occassion that Spike and Buffy had sex, it was always hostile and violent. Usually, they started arguing, and then beat the shit out of each other, and then suddenly started fucking like rabbits out of nowhere. How was that one night in the bathroom, from Spike's point of view, any different from any of the other times? Buffy says she hates him, wants him to go away forever, etc, etc, same stuff she's been saying for years. It wasn't until he saw just how terrified she really was that he realized what was going on. And as soon as he realized it, he stopped. Simple as that.

This is equal parts real defense and devil's advocate, but still: when I took the class entitled "World History" in high school, it was almost entirely dedicated to European history, with a couple of chapters scattered throughout the book giving token lip service to covering other continents. But still, when you spend longer studying one decade of European history than you do covering an entire millenia of somewhere else, in a class labeled "World History", that is wrong.

Uh, this isn't news of any kind; the f-bomb has been dropped several times on primetime TV before. Bobby Heenan's startled reaction to a deranged Brian Pillman on that infamous Nitro comes to mind. And it's been aired on shows where it was cleared ahead of time, too. Remember when they aired a mostly-uncut version of Schindler's List? I clearly remember it had at least one usage of fuck in Ralph Fiennes' line "Put the top down, I'm fucking freezing."

It's both. Kawada first won the Triple Crown title from Dr. Death on 10-22-94, and only defended it twice; he went to an hour draw with Kobashi, and then lost the title to Stan Hansen. He won it again from Misawa on 5-1-98, but then lost it almost immedietly to Kobashi in his first defense, if I remember correctly. Now, those were completely worked and predetermined championship reigns, just like everywhere else in pro wrestling. Many people have wondered throughout the years why AJPW owner Giant Baba never seemed to have any faith as Kawada as a champion; he'd keep the belt on Misawa most of the time, and stuck it on everyone from an aging Stan Hansen to a "WHO won the title?!" Akira Taue, while never letting Kawada run with the ball. The real "curse" started after Dangerous K beat Misawa for his third TC reign on 1-22-99, the infamous Ganso Bomb match; but he broke his arm in that match, and had to vacate the title. Then, on 2-2-24 Kawada beat Mutoh (in a match that serious puro devotees love to hate) for the title, but had to give it up just a month later due to knee injuries. Finally, Kawada beat Shinjiro Ohtani in a tournament final for the vacant Triple Crown belts on 9-6-03, and with his first successful title defense win over Don Frye out of the way, has finally seemed to break the "curse".

Oh, and is it just me, or does FX skip some episodes on its reruns? I know for sure that "As You Were" in season 6 got skipped, as a few others did as well I think. What's the deal?

Guys, shouldn't we be using spoilers to discuss that stuff in this thread?

The general consensus among wrestlers is that a manager should be required to go through full wrestling training. This is because managers do get physically involved pretty often, whether on the giving or receiving end of a beating. And sooner or later, you WILL be booked into wrestling an actual match. Trust me. I've been managing for less than a year, and I've already had four or five of the damn things. But, the rewards can be great, and it's a lot of fun. I mean, at an indy show tonight, I get to manage against Ricky F'n Morton, so, yeah, go for it.

On a kinda related note, I just ran across My Stepmother Is An Alien on cable last night. This movie was made, what, fifteen years ago? It really drives home just how old Alyson Hannigan really is, cause she could've passed for a high school aged kid here. And the weirdest part: at one point, she went out on a date, and I realized that the boy was none other than a really young and dorky-looking Seth Green. Small world.

Try-outs tend to be scams, but $50 is awfully low for a scam, so it might not be. Find out, up front, how much they charge. Also, try to find out who some alumni are. Watch some guys who graduated from that school, see if they're any good.