Dogbert

Well, it's been good so far... if you hate James Brolin for whatever reason.

It's more important than that. I probably should've clarified what importance the rankings have. In the CFL, three teams from each division make the playoffs (there's a "crossover rule," but I won't get into that). Second and third play each other in the division semi-finals, and the winner plays the first-place team in the division finals the week after. Essentially, Calgary is playing for the home game next week (and major bragging rights over the Eskies, who are their biggest rivals and possible playoff opponents). Edmonton can finish first and get the bye with a win; incredible, since the B.C. Lions started the season 11-0. Yes, explaining the CFL playoff format IS something that the Vikings and Lions can drive me to doing.

WHY are they torturing me with the Vikings and Lions? As an aside, tonight's CFL game is huge. The Edmonton Eskimos play the Calgary Stampeders in Calgary, and the outcome will decide all three playoff spots in the Western division. IF CALGARY WINS: 1) B.C. 2) Calgary 3) Edmonton IF EDMONTON WINS: 1) Edmonton 2) B.C. 3) Calgary It's an exciting day.

I thought of another one. "Summer Girls", the one hit that boy-band LFO had, is generally thought of as being about summer. The song is actually about absolutely nothing. In fact, the Canadian government has granted a Quebec laboratory $150 million to research the song, in an attempt to figure out who in their right mind thought that "When you take a sip, you buzz like a hornet/Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets" was a good rhyme. Your tax dollars at work.

I would just like to state that Petey Williams' Canadian Destroyer piledriver owns all.

Ottawa is incredible. They're just tearing it up out there. Goalies have to be absolutely incredible to beat them at this point. Their two losses came in games where Martin Gerber and Robert Esche were standing on their heads. Anything short of Superman can't keep the puck out of the Sens' opponents' net.

I assume that the mystery of where this kid got his talent from will remain unsolved?

Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive", used as a feminist anthem. The song was written about a headache.

VISamania would run wild. LOL @ the fans chanting You Tapped Out at Cena. Excellent. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I'm wondering if WWE would cave to fan reactions and try a double turn with Cena and Angle. I know it wouldn't work since Cena still gets enough face pops to make him a popular face champ, but it would still be interesting to theorize. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> At this point, I don't think WWE could turn Kurt Angle completely face. Fans are just too used to booing him. It would take another national tragedy for fans to rally behind Angle. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Well, one could make the argument that this show... Never mind, it's too obvious.

With a run-in from Hart? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Only if it's Owen. It is Halloween, and RAW claims anything can happen. Let's see some zombie Owen run-in. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Matter of fact, why don't we just have Bret lead a bunch of zombie's (Owen, Pillman, Bulldog, Anvil's career after 1991) down to the ring to eat everyone's brains to end the show. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> And then they can go backstage and mock Todd Grisham for being nerdy/annoying/vaguely homosexual! It's so fresh!

Austin was right in 2002, and he's right now. It's a shame that the company won't listen to someone who is possibly their biggest draw of all time, choosing instead to continue with the same faulty, self-destructive booking that's plagued the company for months... nay, years.

Here's one that you don't hear much... Gowan - Moonlight Desires

The Calgary Hitmen are giving their fans what they all expected last winter. They've started the season 12-4-0 after losing their two top players (Ryan Getzlaf and Andrew Ladd) to the pro ranks.

The Lions have zero faith in Harrington now...short of Garcia being carried off the field on a stretcher they weren't putting Joey back in. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Even so, you need every decision in overtime to be a good one, as one bad decision means the end of the game. As bad as Harrington's been, he's more likely to make the right decision at that point than Garcia was.

I gotta ask... What was Jeff Garcia doing in there after the hit to the head that he took late in the 4th? Looked to me like he was concussed. You don't want a concussed QB in there in overtime; case in point, today.

Years of wear and tear seem to have caught up to Favre. He just doesn't have it in the tank to drag the Packers to respectability right now... damned if he isn't trying, though.

CHI/DET has been a great game. Both teams are just pounding the crap out of each other defensively.

Someone on the Flames pissed off Lady Luck. In the last five minutes of the game tonight: - Ritchie gets called for delay of game after getting tripped and falling on the puck - Sharks get a lucky tip, 2-1 Flames. - Amonte and Iginla on a 2-on-1. Iginla with a perfect pass, Amonte has a sure goal... the puck hops over his stick. - Face-off with 40 seconds left. They win it back to Warrener, who can dump it in and kill lots of time... puck hops over his stick into the Calgary corner, where the Sharks pick it up. - Stuart shoots from the point, and it deflects twice, including one off of our own d-man in front. 2-2. Seriously, we couldn't buy a bounce right now if we exchanged legal currency for one.

Barry Bonds sits in his living room in San Francisco. He gets a phone call. It's Manny Ramirez. BARRY: Hey, Man-Ram, how's the, ahem, "enhancement" working out for you? MANNY: Aw, man... it's awful, man. It's not working at all. BARRY: Well, let's check what's wrong... did you have any problems finding a vein? MANNY: A vein? For what? BARRY: You know... for the shots. Remember? You inject the stuff? MANNY: Yeah, man... I just been drinkin' it. BARRY: ... Manny, it doesn't work that way. MANNY: I thought you told me that I hadda drink it! BARRY: Manny, I told you not to drink it under any circumstances. MANNY: ... BARRY: And then I gave you step-by-step instructions on how to take the stuff, not to mention the detailed map I made so you could find your ass... MANNY: That was MY ass on that map? I thought it was South Dakota. BARRY: You know what? For you, working out and eating right might be the easy way out. Later. Barry hangs up, and skips off to the master bedroom to scream into a pillow for a couple of hours.

18 165 in Carolina tonight to watch a barnburner between the Flyers and 'Canes. Elbaveilebnu.

Quote, from an appearance that African-American activist Kamau Kambon made on C-SPAN: “... And we have to start thinking about a solution to the problem. So that these young sisters and brothers are here now, who are 15, 16, 17... are not here 25 years later talking about these same problems. Now, how do I know that the white people know that we are going to come up with a solution to the problem? I know it because they have retina scans, racial profiling, DNA banks, and they’re monitoring our people to try to prevent the ONE person from coming up with the ONE idea. And the one idea is how we are going to exterminate white people, because that, in my estimation, is the only conclusion I have come to. We have to exterminate white people off the face of the planet to solve the problem. Now, I don’t care whether you clap or not, but I’m saying to you that we need to solve this problem because they are going to kill us. And I will leave on that. So, we just have to set up our own system and stop playing and get very serious and not get diverted from coming up with a solution to the problem... and the problem on the planet is white people.” That's not the problem. The problem is that humans of all races, colours and creeds are letting too many stupid people have airtime on TV. Can't we just make a rule that states that people have to take an IQ test and register above zilch before appearing on the airwaves? Come ON. There's just no excuse to say things like that.

Catch the 2006 World Series of Farting, only on ESPN! ESPN: It's a sport because we said so.

That was more like it. We came out and played the same way we played against Dallas, and this time, some bounces went our way. Great game. With games against Anaheim, San Jose and Phoenix coming up, there's no reason to think that the Flames can't win the next three if they have the same kind of energy as they've played with these last few games.

Yeah, I agree. There's just no excuse for advocating the extermination of a race, no matter how destructive it is.

Today, the Calgary Stampeders (of the CFL, just so you know) waltzed into Regina and, after trailing 21-6 at halftime, came back to down the Saskatchewan Roughriders 29-21. As a result, the Stamps clinched their first playoff spot since 2001. I am SO happy. After the crap that the old ownership and the terrible on-field product put us through, Stamps fans are finally getting what they deserve. Kudos to Jim Barker for putting together a great team, and to Tom Higgins for providing the vision on the sidelines that we've needed desperately for years. Go Stamps Go!