Zack Malibu

Not a fan either. That might be the one genre we could get away with saying sucks. That and that new wave shit by people like Enya.

I hate ignorant people. Children these days need to learn to culture themselves. I don't like The Beatles, but if I walked into a thread about what music would be like if John Lennon lived and said "music would still suck", I'd be castrated. Not being an avid listener is one thing, but to say a whole genre of music sucks is highly ignorant.

I'd like to see Papa and Jay co-write it.

So the fourway is a go?

The movie has already been filmed. News of it wrapping up filming came out a few days ago. Yeah, I went to SleepawayCampMovies.com and looked up on it. I hadn't been on that site in months, since at the time there weren't any updates coming in. Looks like Vincent Pastore is in the new film after all, which is pretty cool. IDRM (I know it's Tigger but call it force of habit): Yeah, about a year back IMDB had a listing for the movie, stating that some of the original stars (who are actually in the sequel), Pastore (who as I said, is legit as well), Nelly (the rapper) and Evan Farmer (who played Jerry in MTV's boyband 2Gether) were going to star.

You're doing yourself a great disservice by looking on the net and not renting it. You can love or hate the movie, but if you ever tell me you've seen a more shocking ending, I'd be highly surprised.

Damn, before I even got to see one episode. They should have had it on Wednesday before The O.C.

When The Dudleys fought Conway and Dupree here a few weeks ago at a house show, they took a kid into the ring to take a picture and gave him a piece of the table too. Then they high fived, but no one signed autographs. Seems to be a way to send people out happy.

OK, just checked out the site after a while, and it turns out Vincent Pastore is in the movie. It also says Isaac Hayes is as well. Plus, original cast members Paul DeAngelo (Ronnie the counselor), Jonathan Tiersten (Ricky), and Felissa Rose (Angela, though she may or may not be playing the grown-up Angela) are all on board. There's more info than I expected on it, but I'm glad to see it being made.

This has been rumored/"in production" for some time now. IMDB even used to have a page for it, citing a cast (which included Nelly and Vincent Pastore, Big Pussy from Sopranos) in it. Personally, I can't wait. The gist I got of it was that it'd be similar to H20 in that it omitted the sequels and just picked up with the original story. You can also check out www.sleepawaycampmovies.com, I'd assume it's still up but haven't been on there in a while.

You know the drill. After posting that show, I need a drink, lol. Parka or someone, please start a booking thread, and make sure to note the main event will be Team Malibu vs. The Underground. I will need writers to help me with it, and will PM some people tomorrow about it.

I'm assuming you want the Lakers one, but what if I got you, oh, an Anaheim Mighty Ducks Fletch jersey? Would you accept it?

There's no real jobbers per say, but you can take the liberty of using your own creation/random wrestler in order to establish yourself. If you wanna take on Chris Benoit or Repo Man, it's all good with me. Glad to see you liked my idea. We can talk more about it via PM or on UGS whenever you want. Well, by jobber I didn't mean 'jobber'...just someone to beat. But I guess I could create someone and have a 'debutants match'...if that's cool with you. Fine by me. SS, I was thinking of a backstage segment between Zack and Superstar, if that's cool with you. I think it's fairly obvious as to how it would play out .

Summer said her stepmom was out of painkillers, for whatever reason. The reason she got them in Tiajuana was because "you don't even need a perscription" (that was the line she gave during the episode). As far as someone dying, I doubt highly that Jimmy would die off. While it makes for a good story, I think there is still something brewing with his bachelorhood and the kiss he had with Kirsten. Luke I get the feeling is going to be a thorn in Ryan's side, both as a competitive rival on the soccer field and with Marissa. Speaking of Summer, I noticed today that a girl in my Developmental Psych bears a resemblance, just with light brown hair. If I wasn't already gunning for the HGC (you guys know who I mean, the girl whose pic I put in the "Would You" thread some time ago), I'd hit it.

There's no real jobbers per say, but you can take the liberty of using your own creation/random wrestler in order to establish yourself. If you wanna take on Chris Benoit or Repo Man, it's all good with me. Glad to see you liked my idea. We can talk more about it via PM or on UGS whenever you want.

Add Jacob Lyne to Panther/Ausstin/Sturgis. Talk with Northstar and make up a skit where he adds you in somehow.

We've got: Dam's match Team Malibu vs. The Underground, 4 on 4 Elimination Tag Team Match Now, for some suggestions. Howsabout... Mad Matt defending the X Title against Sly Somers Four Way Dance: Panther vs. Brock Ausstin vs. Sturgis vs. The Underground's Jacob Lyne Caboose vs. Mister Warrior in a Last Man Standing match.

[Hogan voice] Happy birthday, brother [/Hogan voice] Have a good one man. I'll give you a call later if I get a chance. Hopefully you won't be too blitzed.

Holy shit, this wasn't the news I expected to see when I entered this folder. Crash/Mikey was always entertaining, and you could always count on him as being a good hand in the ring. I never went out of my way to make a Crash Holly comp or anything, but enjoyed his work enough, and thought he'd break out as a cult favorite in TNA, either solo or in his short-lived team with Shark Boy, which seemed like comic gold. This is really a shock, and a sad situation overall.

Zack's rating=8. Once again, I was extremely happy with the contributions. Everyone is getting their motivational fires lit and turning in some good stuff. Concerning The Underground segments, a lot of that was played by ear. CWM hasn't been online in several days, and thus I never got any of the promo's from the UGS crew. I had posted a note on this at the UGS forum, but only Parka sent in a speech to me for J. Arthur. Rather than panic, I did my best to cover things up, and hopefully I didn't stray too far from how New Me and Supes want their personas perceived. That's also the reason why I didn't have Chave and Gunner say anything, and had the OAOAST crew interrupt the promo. Northstar did a great job as GM. I added in some commentary/segments with him to allow the show to flow better, but after one show, it looks like our new GM has got a lot on his plate. Damaramu continues to impress, and I had to mark out when he went back and dug up one of the old OAOAST Saturday Night jobbers I created way back when. The only thing I have to ask is that segments get sent in on time. Most of you are good at it, but there was one point where the show was up and I didn't have HSJ's match yet. Being that I go over some of this stuff during downtime at work and whatnot, I can't afford to be that lenient, because it's either I get the show up before I go out at night, or I stay up until 3am when I have class the next morning. Also, I don't want to see anyone left high and dry, as Papacita keeps furthering his Panther character each week, but almost went two weeks without a match. Try to keep everyone's interests in mind, that's all I ask.

By the power of Northstar, Team Malibu is going to be... Spoiler (Highlight to Read): Zack Malibu, Calvin Szechstein, Ragdoll and Crystal. Northstar places all four HeldDOWN~! Elimination Chamber entrants on one team so they can watch each others backs and not be taken out before the PPV. Of course, TENSION MOUNTS~! . Parka, I'm cool with that for the UGS team. If you're up for it, I think you, myself, and a certain person on moi's team can write up a kickass match together.

PROPS: Northstar Parka Jay Zack Calvin RevEvil Panther Brock Axel Sturgis Superstar

OAOAST HeldDOWN~! November 6, 2003 *The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen, and Tommy Lee's "Hold Me Down" stars up...then screeches to a halt!?* CUE:"Trust Me (You Don't Wanna See This)" by Lucy Woodward, as updated clips play over the theme, showcasing recent footage of the Title Wave match, Calvin vs. Crystal, Zack vs. CWM, Damaramu vs. Ryan Smith, and others, ending with Northstar getting the pin on Tim Moysey last week. Cut to the arena, where pyro explodes, and the fans pop wildly, as HeldDOWN~! is now on the air! While we are accustomed to Michael Cole and The Coach giving us the rundown for the night's matches, we cut immediately to the ring, where HeldDOWN~! announcer Michael Buffer stands, clutching his favorite item, a microphone. Standing alongside him is a rather familiar celebrity face. BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, here to kick off Northstar's inaguration ceromony by singing "Joy to the world", Grammy award winning artist...JEWEL! (Jewel is standing in the center of the ring. She's standing behind a microphone and is holding an acustic guitar. The house lights are dimmed to point of darkness and a spot light is shining on the Alaskan born singer.) JEWEL joy to the world! the lord is come let earth receive her king joy to the world! the lord is come let earth receive her king let ev'ry heart prepare him room and heav'n and nature sing and heav'n and nature sing and heav'n and heav'n and nature sing nature sing *A mixed reaction falls across the crowd, some cheering Jewel's abilities, others wondering why the hell she's singing on HeldDOWN~!* JEWEL joy to the world! the savior reigns let men their songs employ while field and floods rocks, hills and plains repeat the sounding joy repeat the sounding joy repeat, repeat the sounding joy (Northstar and his Acolytes makes his way towards the ring. The crowd pays them no attention due to fact that the arena is so dark it's hard to notice their arrival.) JEWEL he rules the world! with truth and grace and makes the nations prove the glories of his righteousness and wonders of his love and wonders of his love and wonders, wonders of his love (Northstar and his Acolytes enter the ring) JEWEL joy to the world! the lord is come let earth receive her king let ev'ry heart prepare him room and heav'n and nature sing and heav'n and nature sing and heav'n and heav'n and nature sing nature sing Northstar: Jewel, everybody! Give it up for Jewel! (Northstar kisses her on the cheek before he helps her out of the ring. She waves good bye to crowd before she heads to the back.) Coach: Wow, M.C.! Jewel, just preformed for us. We're just a lowly wrestling show and Jewel came here to sing us a song. I could get used to having Northstar as a GM. Cole: Sucking up as to not get fired already, eh Coach? Coach: Sssh, he's gonna say something! Northstar: Friends, for the past week, I've been in a constant struggle to find the right way to start my inauguration speech. I've hired the best speech writers in the business and not a one could come up with an introduction to satisfy me. That's when I realized that best and most powerful messages come from the heart. I knew I had to say something that I truly meant. Something that I felt deep down in my heart! Crowd: Northstar sucks! Northstar sucks! Northstar: Butterflies, I want to start this speech by saying that I care. I care about and everything single one of my HeldDOWN superstars! Because to me they aren't just wrestlers, they aren't just overgrown meatheads with severe mental handicaps, I mean they are but they're my overgrown meatheads with severe mental handicaps. And they are my children My beautiful and wonderful flower children. And I love and care about them as if I had grown a vagina and expelled each and every one of those fuckers from my womb! Coach: This is such a moving speech. Northstar: Like any good parent, I just want what's best for my children. And when I saw Tiny Tim taking liberties with their safety, I knew a stance had to be taken. I couldn't stand to watch my precious babies suffer any longer! I knew they needed the loving and nurturing only I could provide and not the cold and detached management that my predecessor gave them. So, I challenged Tim, not out of spite or greed or hunger for power, but out of love! Love for Mad Matt, love for Crystal, love for Dangerous A! Love for all of my children! Coach: Michael, you have to admit he sounds pretty darn sincere Cole: Dangerous A is an IZ guy. Coach: That's how nice Northstar is. His kindness extends to everyone in the OAOAST. Bless his heart. Northstar: My love doesn't stop with the HD! Wrestlers. It extends to each and every one of you gorgeous butterflies in the audience and at home. That is why I've taken it upon myself to fill your sad worlds with joy. Where Tim brought you misery, I shall bring you felicity. Where once there was gloom, now there shall be sunshine. Tim brought you boredom, I shall bring you entertainment. That's my promise to you. Coach: Tim's my dawg and all, but to be fair he never promised to give us sunshine and felicity. That chick was hot. You think you he can bring us Phoebe from Charmed? She is smokin! Northstar: Friends, I can't carry the heavy torch of top notch entertainment by myself. Oh no, I would buckle under the pressure that comes with being in charge of the hottest wrestling show on the planet. Butterflies, it takes a village to put on enjoyable show and I want you to meet the villagers who are going make HD! the best in can be! First, say Bonjour to my beautiful step sister and new director of talent, Hollywood! (Hollywood forces out a smile and poses for the crowd) Cole: I didn't know Northstar had a sister. Coach: Everyone in this company has a sibling. She's probably evil to. I bet she got locked in a basement by Northstar when they were kids and now she's allied herself with him so that she can destroy him and everything he holds dear from within. Northstar: To my right are my assitant GM's Flameout and Silver Star. Boys, wave to the crowd! (They wave, but Silver Star's wave slowly turns into a one fingered salute) Northstar: I wouldn't feel proper mentioning Alix's new position without first talking about a man who I've looked up to and admired since I was wee lad. I'm talking about a man who taught me how to dream. How to feel....How to laugh......How to love.....I'm talking about a man who showed me HOW TO FUCKING LIVE! (Northstar starts to sob. Hollywood puts her arm around his shoulder) Cole: See that? Incest. Northstar: I'm talking about Charlie House! I mean Hoss. Hoss! I'm so distraught, I can't even get Chris' name right....I mean Charles. Any who, we all saw what happened last week. My dear friend, my soulmate, Charles was brutalized by a pack of barbarians going by the name of the "Underground". And if I hadn't been there to ward off these would be invaders, I assure you those douchebags would've run a train on Chuckie's fag ass, all night long. Crowd: Bulllllshit. Buuuullllshit. Northstar: As unfortunate an incident as that beatdown was, it showed me that Charles is in no way qualified to be the chief of heldDOWN security. I love Charles in charge, but there is no way that I can trust the safety of my children in his hands. His inefficiency to effectively deal with these Underground sewer rats has left me with no other choice but to assign a Co-cheif of security. One guess as to who that is. Just one. Can't figure it out? Oh okay, I'll tell ya. It's Alix! (The crowd voices their displeasure with Alix's new job. She snatches the microphone out of her boyfriends hand and begans her acceptance speech.) Alix: The title of Co-cheif of security is just that. A title. No way am I sharing my spotlight with the likes of Charlie Brown. I'd rather take a spork and gouge out my own eyes than hang with that pinjor! We may have the same job description, but we are definitely not equals. I'm wearing the pants in this relationship, Charles. You'll do everything I say and then some. When I say jump, you say "how high". When I say run, you say "how far". When I say eat, you say "how much tongue". (Northstar yanks the microphone out of Alix's hands.) Northstar: Okay! That's enough from you, cute stuff! Butterflies, as promised we have a legitimately bitchin' show. The Mighty Damaramu takes on a mystery man, who's identity even I don't know about. Red hot newcomer Panther goes up against the OAOAST's unstoppable monster Brock Austin. As always, world champ Calvin S. is in the house. And Crystal will have sex with a horse......okay, no she won't. Any who, enjoy the show, cuties! I'll be in my office. (Northstar and his Acolytes file out of the ring. Some of the crowd applaud the announcement of the matches. Other's boo Northstar and the absence of bestiality.) Coach: Crystal and horses? I'd say he was crossing the line with that comment, but then I'd be out on my ass. You don't want that to happen, eh MC? Cole: Zzzzzzzzz... Coach: Michael, wake up. He's done talking Cole: Oh, man. It's about time. Doesn't that airhead ever stop yapping? We're probably into our second quarter hour by now and we haven't had one wrestling match. Coach: But the ones we will have are going to be doozies! We've got Panther fighting Brock, plus TMD is taking on an unknown wrestler. I can't wait to see who gets crippled this week. I bet it's Chuck Palumbo. Cole: Chuck Palumbo has as much chance of being on this roster as you do of being with Crystal. Coach: You damn rig...HEY! Cole: Fans, now that we've heard from our esteemed General Manager, we're going to take a quick break, then come right back with OAOAST action that you won't believe. Stay tuned!

3....2....1, "I'M THE BOMB" COLE: Fans, it's time for Calvin Szechstein to do probably the only noble thing he's ever done in his life- defend the honor of the OAOAST against the onslaught of UGW. The signature entrance of the OAOAST World Champion, Totally Endorsed's Calvin Szechstein, hits as the man himself strides arrogantly to the ring, gleaming gold belt slung over his shoulder. Calvin casually enters the ring and snatches the microphone from the ring announcer. COACH: The one advantage that UGW has over the OAOAST is their mystery. No one besides CWM know who they are or what they're capable of. And whether he wants to admit it or not, fear of the unknown is probably somewhere in Calvin Szechstein's mind right now. CALVIN: So...I've been waiting on pins and needles all night long, wondering what undercard dreg this two-bit "invasion" has pulled out of the gutter to face me. Come on, U GEE DUB, who'd you get? Kamala? John Nord? Virgil? I'm just *giddy*with anticipation. Bring out this jabroni, so I can get out of this shithole early for a change. ["Money" by Pink Floyd fires up over the PA, bringing out UGW's favorite litigator, J. Arthur Edwards.] CALVIN: Ah, good old JAE. You know, I admire your courage, as well as your tremendous fashion sense, but I doubt even someone of your remarkable mental and physical abilities could win two matches in one night. COACH: You hear that Cole? Calvin is kissing up to the enemy, "just in case." COLE: I hear it. J. ARTHUR: Mr. Szechstein, as much as it would be a tremendous pleasure for me to rearrange your wardroe- namely remove that gold belt around your waist, UGW has someone else in mind. Ladies and gentlemen, representing UnderGround Wrestling, he is a multi-time Georgia state wrestling and gymnastics champion, the most mind-blowing athlete in professional wrestling, the greatest teen prodigy in the history of this business, and the future role model of all your children- I give you JACOB....LYNE! ["Nitro (Youth Energy)" by the Offspring hits, and out walks a very young, but incredibly cut blonde-haired man, wearing black cargo pants and a bandanna.] COACH: Michael, have you ever heard of this guy? COLE: Never, but he looks impressive, if even half of what J. Arthur Edwards said was true, Calvin could be in for a challenge tonight! Lyne immediately charges the ring, surprising the champion, who quickly drops his title belt and throws a hard right, blocked by Jacob Lyne! He grabs Calvin's arm and irish whips him into the ropes- TEXTBOOK high elevation dropkick by Jacob Lyne! Calvin shoots back up to his feet, Jacob tries a boot to the gut, caught by Calvin! NO! ENZIGUIRI BY JACOB! DUCKED BY CALVIN! BUT JACOB LANDS ON HIS FEET! REVERSE ENZIGUIRI CONNECTS! Calvin goes down and bails to the floor! COLE: Did you see that Coach! COACH: Nope, I blinked, and Calvin went down! Calvin slowly gets to his feet, clutching his face and collecting his thoughts, but Jacob's signalling for something inside the ring. COLE: The champ's not paying attention! This could be big trouble! Jacob hits the ropes- and FLIES OVER THE TOP TO THE OUTSIDE WITH A DEATH-DEFYING, TWISTING SUICIDE PLANCHA! CALVIN GOES DOWN! The crowd goes NUTS! "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!" COLE: OH MY GOD! COACH: Northstar has gotta be kicking himself for not discovering Jacob Lyne first, this kid is phenomenal, and he's just owning our champion right now! Jacob throws Calvin back into the ring and stomps on the champ's lower back. Jacob picks Calvin up by the head, irish whip by the challenger, Calvin hits the ropes- AND JACOB CHASES HIM! Calvin immediately gets thrown over Lyne's head with a belly-to-belly suplex! COLE: What a smart move by this young kid Jacob Lyne- keeping the champ off balance! Lyne makes a circling motion with his hands- he VERTICALLY JUMPS to the top rope, and comes off with a moonsault! IT HITS KNEES! Jacob is doubled over in pain! COLE: Now's Calvin's opportunity to focus, clear his head, let his veteran experience overwhelm the rookie. COACH: Amidst that offensive flurry Michael, I just realized- if Jacob Lyne wins the match, UGW takes our title, and we'll never see it again! Calvin staggers back to his feet and picks up the stunned Lyne. He double underhooks the arms and tucks Lyne's head between his legs-and DRIVES HIM DOWN WITH A PEDIGREE! COLE: PEDIGREE! PEDIGREE! Brought to you by Purina Pet Chow! COACH: And we all know nobody kicks out of that! There's a cover! Calvin lies back and counts along with the referee.... 1! 2! 3! NO! SHOULDER UP! COLE: Huh, I guess that move isn't an automatic win after all. COACH: Not unless you're married to the boss! COLE: Jonathan, that was lame even for you. Calvin simply shrugs his shoulders and picks up Jacob, a look of confidence returning to his face. The champ hooks up Lyne and drives him down with a HARD snap suplex. Calvin hits the ropes, and drops a crushing knee right across the neck of his young opponent. Another cover... 1! 2! KICKOUT! COLE: Fans, this is the first I've ever said this, and probably the only time I ever will, but I'm rooting for Calvin Szechstein in this match. He better put Jacob Lyne away quickly, because this kid is dangerous! Calvin drags Lyne to his feet again- Irish whip, Lyne comes off the ropes, clothesline by Calvin is ducked, Lyne with a kick to the stomach, and hooks Calvin up for a suplex! No! Calvin drops out the other side! He quickly grabs Lyne's head- AND THERE'S THE NEW LINE CINEMA NECKBREAKER! COACH: ONE OF HIS SIGNATURE MOVES! COVER HIM! 1! 2! 2.9999! COACH: HOW THE HELL did he kick out of that!? COLE: I have no idea! Calvin is starting to get visibly frustrated. He stomps down on the face of the rookie, picks him up for a quick scoop slam, and points to the top rope! COLE: Calvin is dangerous from the top rope- will we see the Miramax Elbow, the Freddy vs. Jason Frogsplash, or the FUBU 450? Calvin is climbing the turnbuckle pads slowly, he's perched on the top, Lyne is still not moving. Calvin gives the "thumbs down" gesture to the crowd. COACH: He's taking too much time Michael! THERE'S THE FREDDY VS. JASON FROG SPLASH! AND IT MISSES! COLE: He moved out of the way at the VERY LAST second! Calvin shoots up to his feet clutching his chest, but Jacob's up too! He grabs a half nelson from behind- AND SPIKES HIM WITH A RELEASE DRAGON SUPLEX! BOTH MEN ARE DOWN! COACH: AAAHH! DANGEROUS move by Jacob Lyne! He may have cracked the champ's skull! COLE: What did J. Arthur call him? The Role Model? Well, he's sure showing everybody in that locker room how to take it to the champ! This kid really is a prodigy! The ref puts on the count.... 1 2 3 Neither man is moving 4 5 6 Jacob is getting back to his feet, so is the champion, 7 8 Both men are upright. Calvin, still dazed, fires off a wild punch. Blocked! Jacob grabs that arm and hooks Calvins head- AND SPIKES HIM AGAIN WITH A MICHINOKU DRIVER 2~! COLE: WHAT A MOVE- A MICHINOKU DRIVER BY LYNE! THE LYNE DRIVER! HE HANGS ON FOR THE COVER! COACH: WE'RE GONNA LOSE OUR TITLE! KICK OUT, KICK OUT! 1! 2!!!!!!!!!!!! KICKOUT! COLE: He jerked his shoulder up at the very last second- on instinct Coach! COACH: This match is killing me, I'm having a heart attack! Jacob, thinking quickly, picks up Calvin and drops him with a front slam! Now HE's heading to the top rope! COLE: Coach, I overheard CWM bragging in the back that one of the UGW boys can do the most death-defying maneuver in wrestling history off the top rope- based on what we've seen from the Role Model, I think I know who he was talking about! What could it be! Jacob scales the top rope, quick as a cat, Calvin is totally prone! JACOB FLIES OFF WITH A SHOOTING STAR PRESS! NO! AN EXTRA ROTATION! COACH: What the *BLEEP*???!!!! A SHOOTING STAR LEGDROP! AND IT HITS CANVAS! COLE: If that would have hit, this company would have sunk like the Titanic! Jacob Lyne could have delivered a death blow to the OAOAST in spectacular fashion! Calvin rolled out of the way of the move! Calvin struggles back to his feet, so does Jacob holding his injured leg! With his last ounce of strength- Calvin FLIES at Jacob and connects with a flying forearm! COLE: He used every last ounce of adrenaline, every last bit of instestinal fortitude, to knock him out with that move! Cover him Calvin! 1!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!! NO! COLE: DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT! COACH: How the hell do either of these men have enough left to kick out? This crowd is going nuts! Both men again stagger upright. Calvin with a hard forearm shot to the temple. Jacob with one of his own! Calvin responds back! COLE: Neither man willing to give an inch, fighting for the biggest prize in wrestling, and for company honor! What a surprise thriller this has turned out to be! .....And Jacob, with all his might, snaps off a roundhouse kick to the chest! Calvin is doubled over in pain! Jacob comes off the ropes behind him, somersaults over.... AND GRABS THE CHAMP'S ARMS ON THE WAY DOWN, DRIVING HIM HEADFIRST INTO THE MAT WITH A TOMIKAZE!!!!!!!! COACH: WHAT THE HELL!? I'VE NEVER SEEN THAT MOVE BEFORE IN MY LIFE! "JA-COB! JA-COB! JA-COB! JA-COB!" "UGW! UGW! UGW! UGW!" COLE: I DON'T BELIEVE THIS! Jacob Lyne has turned some of this crowd in his favor! COACH: They're the enemy dammit! Don't cheer for 'em! Jacob Lyne points to the top rope ONE MORE TIME, and the crowd roars in approval! COACH: If that Shooting Star Legdrop hits this time, we're all out of a job Michael! Jacob climbs the buckles- his back to the champion. He's on the top rope. COLE: Looking for a moonsault maybe? COACH: Knowing this guy, a corkscrew moonsault Stardust Press! Calvin however, is stirring, he's on one knee, the referee comes over to check on him- AND CALVIN SHOVES THE REF INTO THE ROPES! JACOB IS CROTCHED AND VULNERABLE ON THE TOP! COLE: Normally I'd be appalled by such tactics, but I "endorse" any means necessary for Calvin to keep that belt in this case! Calvin limps over to the corner, and grabs Jacob for a powerbomb! No! He hangs him upside down for the CODE RED CLASH! COACH: HIT IT! HIT IT! CALVIN NAILS IT! COLE: WILL THIS BE IT???!!!! 1!!!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3!!!!!!!!!!!! COACH: PRAISE JESUS, ABRAHAM AND MUHAMMED! THE OAOAST BELT STAYS WITH THE HOME TEAM! RA: Your winner of the match, and STIILLLL OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, CALLLLLVIN SZECHSTEIN! COLE: This total unknown Jacob Lyne, from god-knows-where, almost changed the course of wrestling history! Calvin immediately takes the belt and gets the hell out of Dodge, to avoid a possible ambush from the UGW invaders. Jacob Lyne is slowly stirring, he crawls back to his feet.... and the crowd is standing. And clapping. COLE: A tremendous show of respect for this young kid, Jacob Lyne- he may have thrown his lot in with a bunch of degenerate mercenary scumbags, but he's a hell of a performer. COACH: This isn't the way I expected our show to end, Michael. COLE: Same here, Coach. Fans, this has been a hectic, hellacious program, and we're just one show down under Northstar's regime! Remember to tune in next week, as we can expect Team Malibu vs. Team Underground, but who will make up those teams? COACH: Only one way to find out, and it's not internet spoilers... COLE: No, it's by tuning in! Good night fans, we'll see you next time!

Backstage, Northstar is *finally* relaxing after a hectic night, when the door swings open, showing Zack Malibu standing in the doorway! NORTHSTAR Oh c'mon, Will and Grace is on soon! ZACK You listen to me. You and I, we don't see eye to eye. NORTHSTAR I know. You're slightly taller than I am. ZACK Cut the crap, Northstar. You're in charge of this show now, fine. I'm cool with that. What I'm not cool with is you turning it into a huge lovefest. NORTHSTAR Zack, now now, we'd have to be on cable for that! ZACK You know what I mean. I don't need you to protect me. NORTHSTAR Zack, really, you think it's about YOU? It's just as much about me. I have to protect my investment in this company. For lack of a better term, you're my property now... ZACK Not quite. NORTHSTAR Zack, listen. I feel you. Really I do. I know you want nothing more than to end this deal with CWM, crush this organization before they get some steam, and go back to being the pretty boy kissing babies and signing autographs, right? *Zack stares down at Northstar* NORTHSTAR So...I'll tell you what. For next week, you pick three other HeldDOWN~! stars. Anyone's you want at all. Then I'll give word to The Underground to be here, and we'll have what is typically the tradtion of another federation here on our show. An elimination matchup, four on four. ZACK Any four I want? NORTHSTAR Any four you want. Zack considers the offer, but before he can say anything another figure steps through the door. It's OAOAST World Champion Calvin Szechstein. NORTHSTAR It never ends. CALVIN Hey, listen cap, I just came to stop by and let you know that I'd like to close the show out in the ring, OK? NORTHSTAR Sure, fine, just leave me be. Zack turns to Calvin, and the two enemies lock eyes. ZACK What are you planning on? CALVIN Well Zack, I'm gonna do something that you were too afraid to do. Take matters into my own hands. Calvin disappears, and Zack turns back to look at the new GM, before slamming the door, allowing the scene to fade.