Zack Malibu

COLE That was...oddly inspiring. But CALVIN of all people? COACH Turning over a new leaf? Becoming the locker room leader that every champion should be? COLE Again, I say...CALVIN? I certainly hope those words are taken to heart, especially by his own crew. Axel seemingly had no love lost for anyone, INCLUDING his TE cohorts earlier tonight. COACH True 'dat, holmes. COLE Fans…tonight, we get to see a match that we could only DREAM about before! COACH That's right! THAT'S RIGHT! COLE …are you ok? COACH …are you talking about Josie and Melanie versus Crystal and Candie? COLE No! COACH Then what's with this "Dream Match" billing?! COLE I'm talking about "Shooter" Jay Darring versus Ragdoll in a Best 2 out of 3 Falls match for the X Title! COACH …Oh…well, that is a dream match…and Jay Darring has a lot riding in his favor, since both Josie and Melanie are too worn out from their match to even be out here! COLE That makes you sad, huh? FINKEL LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! The next match…is a BEST TWO OUT OF THREE FALLS MATCH…and is for the OAOAST X CHAMPIONSHIP! -The fans erupt… CUE: "Shin-Jingi Naki Tatakai" by Hotei Tomoyasu -The fans cheers grow louder as the lights go out. After the opening notes of the song play, a dark navy blue light starts flashing. The cheers become even louder as the curtain flies open, and out walks "Shooter" Jay Darring, making his second ever appearance on HeldDown! COLE Fans, this is a rematch of epic proportions…just a few weeks ago, we saw then-Tag Team Champion "Shooter" Jay Darring take on X Champion Ragdoll in an absolutely incredible match…now, Shooter Jay is here for ONE NIGHT ONLY to try and dethrone Ragdoll and take the X Title over to IntenseZone! COACH What Shooter Jay needs to look out for in this match are 1.) The Rag-ettes, Josie and Melanie, and 2.) TNT, Tyler Bridges and TJ Burns. Shooter Jay is going up against, basically, The Rat Pack tonight… COLE That's a good point. COACH God damn right. -The lights dim as Jay slides into the ring… "VIVAAAA LAS VEGAS!" CUE: "Deceptacon" by Le Tigre -The fans cheers quickly turn to boos as the lights flash on. The curtain flies open, and out walks Ragdoll, who is alone tonight. He holds the X Title tightly in his right hand, which, along with his head, is heavily bandaged. His eyes are focused on Shooter Jay, who stands in the ring, his eyes also locked on Ragdoll. Ragdoll stops just short of the ring and breathes heavily, watching Jay pace. A small smile suddenly crosses Ragdoll's mouth as the lights start to dim again. CUE: "TNT" by AC/DC COLE What the hell is this?! -The fans sit in stunned silence as Tyler Bridges and TJ Burns, IZ's TNT, step out from behind the curtain. Ragdoll glances back at them and smiles before rushing the ring. He slides in and immediately rushes Jay…WHAM! Ragdoll connects with a vicious spear as the song fades out. The fans erupt as Ragdoll and Jay start delivering vicious punches as they roll around on the mat. The ref shrugs…and orders the bell to be rung… DING, DING, DING! COLE The match is underway! -Ragdoll stands quickly and delivers a vicious stomp to the ribs of Jay, who is quickly getting to his knees. Ragdoll drives his foot into the jaw of Jay, causing him to turn his head. Ragdoll steps back slightly before rushing forward… COLE DEVIL DOLL! COACH DEVIL DOLL! DEVIL DOLL! -The fans erupt in boos as Ragdoll makes the quick cover. The ref drops… One! Two! Three!! COLE Ragdoll gets the first fall! -The fans boo as the bell rings. Finkel stands as Ragdoll quickly gets to his feet and paces around the ring. FINKEL The winner of the first fall…via pin fall…at 0:32…RAGDOLL! COLE These two men have a 2-minute rest period now… COACH You see, Mitchell, this shows you just how dangerous Ragdoll is with that Devil Doll. He can get it SO quickly, and when he does, you're done for. Jay should be happy that this is a best 2/3 falls match…he should be DAMN happy. -Ragdoll slowly walks over to TNT, who are standing in the corner farthest from Jay, and kneels down. The three start laughing as TJ pulls a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. All three slowly pull a cigarette out. Tyler slowly pulls out his lighter and lights all three cigarettes. COLE Oh how cute…a smoke break… COACH That Ragdoll NEEDS the patch…he probably smokes DURING sex! -Ragdoll quickly looks back and notices Jay slowly getting to his feet. Ragdoll smiles wide and finishes off the cigarette before standing and turning towards the now standing Jay. Jay starts to slowly turn as Ragdoll flicks his cigarette down. Ragdoll sprints forward…WHAM!! The fans erupt as Ragdoll hits the mat hard, courtesy of a Shooter Jay clothesline. Jay slowly gets on to his hands and knees as TJ and Tyler rush over to Ragdoll, who has now rolled out of the ring, clutching the back of his head. COLE Shooter Jay Darring capitalizes on a desperation move! -TNT slowly help Ragdoll to his feet as Jay looks on, holding his forehead. With a burst of energy, Shooter Jay sprints towards the opposite ropes and rebounds. With lightning fast speed, Jay runs towards Ragdoll and TNT…Jay leaps onto the top rope… COLE Keep your eyes on Shooter Jay! -Hundreds of flashbulbs go off as Jay leaps off the top rope, performing a somersault senton…WHAM! The fans erupt as Jay hits The Rat Pack hard! Jay quickly stands and looks out into the crowd, who are now chanting… FANS "SHOO-TER JAY! SHOO-TER JAY!" COLE RECKLESS ENDANGERMENT ONTO THE RAT PACK! SHOOTER JAY IS PULLING OUT ALL THE STOPS!! -Jay quickly grabs Ragdoll by the hair and rolls him back in the ring, where the Las Vegas Phenom slowly starts to crawl for the opposite ropes. Jay hops up onto apron and watches Ragdoll…before slingshotting himself onto the top rope! Jay leaps off…WHAM!! The fans erupt again as Ragdoll goes limp in the middle of the ring, thanks to a slingshot Elbow Drop to the middle of the ring! COLE MY GOD! SHOOTER JAY IS INCREDIBLE! COACH Holy crap! -Jay looks out at the crowd as he holds his head, a huge smile on his face. He's still slightly feeling the effects of the Devil Doll, but he is obviously doing his best to keep them hidden. Jay quickly rolls Ragdoll over onto his back and covers… One! Two!! THRNO!! Ragdoll BARELY got his shoulder up at 2 1/2! Jay glares at the ref before slowly standing and raising three fingers. COLE I can't BELIEVE Ragdoll kicked out! COACH Well, neither can Shooter Jay! -Jay softly shakes his head and grabs Ragdoll by the hair, slowly picking him up. Jay quickly whips Ragdoll towards the nearest turnbuckle…THUD! Ragdoll's chest hits the pad hard, causing him to stumble backwards. Jay runs towards the ropes perpendicular to Ragdoll and hops onto it. He rebounds off and twists; grabbing Ragdoll by the back of the head…Jay drags Ragdoll down with his momentum…WHAM!! The fans erupt as Ragdolls head bounces off the mat!! COLE WHAT A HUGE NECKBREAKER! -Jay once again goes down for the cover! One!! Two!! THRENO!~ COLE I don't believe it! Ragdoll kicked out at 2 3/4! -Jay, unfazed by the kickout, quickly stands and does the Colt Cabana gun-blowing gesture…HE'S SIGNALING FOR THE KT DRIVER! COLE If Jay hits the KT Driver, then it is guaranteed that this match will be even! COACH Don't hit it! Don't hit it! -Jay slowly picks Ragdoll up to a standing position…and lifts! Ragdoll is lifeless! Jay turns to every section of the crowd, a huge grin on his face…WHAM!! The fans erupt as Ragdoll starts convulsing…Jay slowly covers… One!!! Two!! THREE!!! COLE AND THIS MATCH IS TIED! FINKEL Ladies and Gentlemen…the winner of the second fall…at 7:54…."SHOOTER" JAY DAAAARRRRRIIIIINNNNNGGG!! -The fans erupt and stomp their feet as Jay stands slowly and smiles. The match is now even! COLE Ragdoll is lucky, Coach… COACH Why's that? COLE Ragdoll now has a two minute rest period, so he can now regain his composure and continue on. COACH …I guess that's lucky…but he DID just get pinned… COLE True. -The two minute rest period is now 30 seconds in, and already, the toughness of Ragdoll is showing. He slowly is beginning to flip over to his stomach. Meanwhile, TNT are now standing. The Reckless Endangerment from earlier on took a lot out of them. One minute in, and Ragdoll is on his knees, clutching the back of his neck. COACH Ragdoll is showing quite a bit of toughness here, Mitchell…most guys would be down for the next half hour, but Ragdoll is getting to his feet! COLE Well, he has thirty more seconds to regain his composure… COACH He's almost standing, Mike! My god, what a show of toughocity! COLE …toughocity? -Jay stalks behind Ragdoll as the ref looks away from his watch…and orders the bell be rung! Ragdoll turns slowly…AND IS PICKED UP AGAIN! JAY IS GOING FOR ANOTHER KT DRIVER!! COLE WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A NEW X CHAMPION!! -Jay looks TNT and smiles…CRASH!!!! Ragdoll's head bounces off the mat, causing the fans to go absolutely crazy! Jay looks out and smiles, then goes for the quick cover! The Ref slides over! ONE!!! TWO!!! THNO!! The fans boo as the ref gets pulled out of the ring! COLE THAT'S MIKE DARRING!! JAY'S BROTHER JUST SCREWED HIM! -The ref pushes Mike slightly as he berates the younger Darring child. Mike just smiles at Jay…WHAM!! The fans erupt slightly as the ref's head bounces off the mats on the outside, courtesy of a Mike Darring DDT! Jay slowly stands, his eyes wide as he walks slowly over the ropes near Mike, who is grinning like a madman. Jay, too busy yelling at his younger brother, doesn’t notice Tyler Bridges and TJ Burns slide into the ring…WHAM! Jay falls to the mat, clutching the back of his head as TNT put the boots to him. COLE What the hell are they doing?! COACH Taking advantage of the situation! -TJ slowly picks Jay up and grabs his by his left arm. Tyler grabs the right arm…and the two nod at each other. Suddenly they both lift Jay into a two man Razor's Edge….WHAM!!! The fans groan as Jay writhes in pain, clutching the back of his head! COLE BIG BANG! TNT JUST HIT THE BIG BANG ON SHOOTER JAY!! COACH He's Done for!! -Mike quickly picks up the ref and slides him into the ring as TNT drape Ragdoll's arm over Jay's chest. Tyler slaps the ref lightly to wake him up, then slides out of the ring…the ref slowly makes the count! ONE! TWO!! THREE!!! DING DING DING!! CUE: "Deceptacon" by Le Tigre COLE I don't believe it!! Mike Darring and TNT just screwed "Shooter" Jay out of the X Title! He had the damn match won! COACH For the first time, I agree with you, Mike…Jay put up one HELLUVA fight, but he is no Superman…and he, too, fell to the numbers game. COLE I don't believe it! God Damn It! Damn Mike Darring! Damn TNT! Damn Ragdoll! Jay was screwed! -TJ and Tyler quickly pull Ragdoll out of the ring as Mike heads up the ramp. Tyler hands Ragdoll the X Title, but Ragdoll is completely out cold. He can't even hold the belt. Tyler quickly drapes it over his own shoulder, and he and TJ quickly carry Ragdoll up the ramp. COLE The Rat Pack…I just don't believe this…Fans, we'll be back with World Title action, just after this word from our sponsors...some of whom sponsor Totally Endorsed, so...aw hell, we're coming right back!

MC:"Fans, we've got Ragdoll vs. Jay Darring coming up, but our producers have been given a tape apparently from earlier today. All we know is that it was sent along with several Blockbuster free rental coupons and a bag of Orville Redenbacher popcorn, so I'm going to go out on a limb and say it came from the offices of the World Champion, Calvin Szechstein, and the rest of Totally Endorsed. Roll tape!" We fade in on the locker room door of Totally Endorsed, where a crudely-drawn sign is drawn on. "Male Wrestlers-Only Meeting" We switch to a camera shot of the inside of the locker room, where all the males on the heldDown roster sit, with the notable exception of Zack Malibu and the Dream Machines. A large podium is set up at the front of the room, andbehind it stands Calvin Szechstein, motioning for the hum and chatter of the wrestlers to grind to a halt. As it does, Calvin begins speaking. CALVIN Gentlemen, I don't understand many of you. Perhaps, I don't understand any of you. The wrestlers stare at him, anger in all of their eyes as Calvin continues. CALVIN You let a woman get the #1 contendership? My God, guys... I'm not saying that Crystal is not deserving, she's just another wrestler to me, gender be damned... but guys, you've got to step it up. IntenseZone put on the show of the year last week, and next week they'll probably do the same. So you, my friends, need to kick it up a notch, lest we let those bastards on IntenseZone get the upper hand. I built this show from the ground up. Look at Malibu, look at Moysey, this isn't their show! This is our show, and it's time for us to take control and destroy Intense Zone! And when we take them over... when they become us, when it's just OAOAST again, we can get rid of the sellouts, the losers, and become the most dominant show in wrestling! But gentlemen, it starts tonight. You guys need to step it up! I need to step it up! We need to show why we won the ratings war fifteen weeks in a row! Ragdoll! Go out there, and put on the match of the millenium! Show IZ why we will continue to reign supreme! Mad Matt! Tonight, I may beat you, but it's going to be the greatest match you've ever had! I have no respect for those that do not earn it, gentlemen. Tonight, HeldDown, the chosen brand of OAOAST... we will earn it. A roar comes from the wrestlers, as we fade to black, the sight of arms in the air a haunting one as we fade...

We return to HeldDOWN~!, and Coach is on a cell phone!? Coach:"Yeah, Mario, it's M-A-T-T-H-E..." MC:"What are you doing? We're on the air! Who are you talking to?" Coach:"Hold on Mario...yeah...YEAH he's the kid from Tough Enough. No, NOT Maven. I...no, NO, not the Harvard kid. Josh Matthews, man! How much is it gonna cost?" Michael Cole reaches over and swipes the cell phone. MC:"Excuse me, but we're doing a show here...uh, sir!" *Cole hangs up* Coach:"Whatchoo doin', playa?" MC:"Coach, I know you have this...thing for Crystal and all...but you can NOT put a hit on Josh Matthews, let alone on the air!" Coach:"Pssh, you wait and see what happens to him. He's gonna be sleepin' with the fishes!" MC:"Better than sleeping on Scooby Doo sheets." Coach's eyes bug out. Coach:"You said you'd never tell!" MC:"Coach, I went to your house that ONE TIME you attempted to throw a party. I'll spill ALL the dirt if you don't wise up." Coach:"All right, all right. Just don't tell 'em about my Punky Brewster video collection." MC:"Dumbass. We're on the air. YOU JUST DID!" Coach:"Oh sh...match time!" Ring Announcer:"Ladies and Gentlemen, the next contest will be for the OAOAST 24/7 Championship. That means that anything goes, and falls will count anywhere! Triple Threat rules apply to this match, so the first man to score a pinfall will be deemed the victor!" The sound of guitar chords booms over the PA, as the Nirvana classic "Smells Like Teen Spirit" starts up, causing the fans to collectively jeer the person it's used for. CWM steps out to the ramp scowling at the crowd, as if he's disgusted that they actually have the audacity to boo him. MC:"Let's take you back quickly to one week ago here on HeldDOWN~! It was CWM taking on Northstar for the 24/7 Title, when things got out of hand." *Clips are shown of Zack hitting the ring during the match, and the ensuing brawl with CWM, enabling Northstar to get the win and retain the title* Coach:"The thing is, Michael, is that CWM blames Zack for costing him the gold in that match. However, Zack's run-in was pretty much justified due to the fact that CWM tried to taint the farewell match Zack had with Spider Poet at Dirty Deeds!" MC:"CWM has always been pretty complex in his alignments. He can turn on someone like *THAT*. Lately he's blamed Zack for taking the spotlight away from him, and I shudder to think of what he thinks he needs to do to get that spotlight back!" CWM paces the ring, looking down at the canvas and then towards the entranceway, waiting for the introduction of the next participant. *The lights dim* The melodic sound of a piano being played is heard, soon to be overcome by pounding drums and catchy guitar riffs. "Bring Me To Life" kicks into full gear, and Zack Malibu and Candie come bursting out from behind the curtain to a huge pop! HeldDOWN~!'s version of the dynamic duo rock the crowd as they're known to do, and make a fast track to the ring. Once there, Zack stands at ringside with his valet, while CWM storms towards the ropes, trying to get at Zack. The referee blocks CWM's path, pushing him back away from the ropes, and allowing Zack to slide in under the bottom rope. Zack comes right at CWM, but the referee turns around and now is ushering Zack to a neutral corner, as he doesn't want things breaking down before the opening bell. Stacie Orrico's "More To Life" starts up, and once again the crowd boos the song, knowing it means the arrival of one of HeldDOWN~!'s most despised stars. The 24/7 Champion, Northstar, stands on the ramp, flanked on each side by the Acolytes of Northstar, and strikes a pose for the crowd. Northstar makes his way down the ramp, stopping at various intervals along the way to rag on some of the fans, before making it to ringside. After blowing a kiss towards Candie (which causes her to sneer at him), Northstar slowly walks up the steps, and takes his precious time getting into the ring. Once he does, he unstraps the 24/7 Title from around his waist and hands it to the referee...then grabs it back from him! Northstar raises the belt up in a celebratory manner to gloat to the crowd even further, then hands it back to the referee, warning him of the consequences if anything happens to the belt. The bell sounds, and all three men come at each other, engaging in a three way lockup! Both CWM and Zack take an arm of Northstar and wrench it, then strike him across the chest with hard chops! Northstar cringes, and is sent in by both his opponents, but ducks the double clothesline attempt. Northstar runs to the other ropes, and comes back, but CWM and Zack are ready for him, and both elevate him over with a double back bodydrop...and Northstar lands on his feet! Hitting the ropes again, Northstar charges his foes, but this time he's scooped up and slammed facefirst into the mat with a flapjack! With Northstar down, Zack takes CWM and goes to whip him into the ropes, but CWM counters and pulls Zack right into a knee to the gut. He ties up with Zack, and then tries a suplex, but Zack floats over and lands behind CWM! Before he can capitalize, Northstar is up and dropkicks Zack in the back, sending him staggering forward, right into a lariat as CWM spins around! CWM immediately starts stomping at Zack, and calls for Northstar to aid him in pulling the former champion to his feet. Northstar actually agrees to assist, and the two hit a double team Russian Legsweep on Zack, and then stand over him. Each man runs to the ropes (CWM on one side, Northstar on the other) and Northstar jumps up and comes down with a splash on Zack, while CWM comes down with a legdrop! Northstar hooks a leg for the cover, but CWM stands up and kicks him in the head, breaking up the pinfall! Coach:"Look at that, one minute he wants his help, but as soon as Northstar gets an opening, CWM turns on him." MC:"The point of the match is to win, so you can't really fault him there, however I agree. If CWM is all "I'll do it myself", why bother asking for Northstar's aid in taking Zack out?" CWM drags Northstar to the corner, and throws him into it, then starts kicking at his ribs, stomping a mudhole in him! Northstar falls down to a seated position, and CWM backs up, then rushes forward and hits a running knee right into his head! Northstar is slumped against the turnbuckles, and CWM backs up again, but as he goes running forward, is caught by Zack bouncing off the ropes and blasting him with a flying forearm! Zack mounts CWM's shoulders and starts hammering away on him, then pulls him up. Northstar recovers and climbs up to the top turnbuckle, but Zack whips CWM into the corner, and that crotches Northstar! Zack charges the corner and leaps up, monkey flipping CWM across the ring, then rushes the corner again. He climbs up the ropes and hits a few shots to stagger Northstar, but then climbs back down. CWM is back to his feet, and Zack notices this...SO HE ROCKET LAUNCHES NORTHSTAR ONTO CWM~! Both men roll out of the ring on instinct to recover, while Zack jumps up on the ropes, shouting down at both of them and egging the crowd on, working them up some more. On the outside, the Acolytes of Northstar help their leader up, but he brushes them away and slides back into the ring. Zack waits on him, and starts firing off right hands, but Northstar gouges him in the eyes to take control. Northstar snapmares Zack over, and then hits a stiff kick across his back, the smacking sound of boot on flesh echoing through the arena. Northstar then backs up, bounces off the ropes, and jumps over Zack, snapping his neck forward. Coach:"That was shades of the late, great, Curt Hennig!" With Zack down, Northstar goes to run the ropes, but as he does, he gets CRACKED in the back with a chairshot from CWM, who has obtained the weapon while at ringside. Northstar goes down, and CWM slides into the ring, chair in hand. He stands up above Northstar, who is pushing up on all fours, and slams the chair down again across his back, laying out the 24/7 Champion on the canvas! CWM kicks Northstar out of the ring and to the floor, and now turns his attention to Zack, who is starting to get up. He brings the chair down across his back as well, sending Zack falling to his knees. CWM then sets the chair up in a seated position and pulls Zack up, sending him to the ropes and hitting the DROP TOEHOLD ON THE CHAIR~! CWM quickly covers Zack, but Malibu is able to get a shoulder up at 2! CWM stays in control, folding the chair up and laying it on the mat, and then taking Zack and bodyslamming him onto it. Northstar is pulling himself up by the ropes, and CWM rushes at him, delivering a clothesline that sends both of them spilling over the ropes and to the floor! CWM is to his feet first, and scares off the Acolytes of Northstar as they come closer, hoping to be of assistance to their employer. CWM starts looking under the ring for something, and pulls a trashcan out from under the ring. MC:"You know, I never wondered why exactly we keep those under there. Shouldn't we keep one maybe near the timekeeper or something, instead of under the ring?" Coach:"No kidding. What if the guy has to spit out his gum or something!" CWM takes the lid off the trash can and smacks Northstar over the head with it, dazing him. CWM then picks up the can, but just as he's about to hit him, Zack Malibu comes flying with a baseball slide, kicking the can right into CWM's face! Zack reaches down and picks the can up, but when he turns around, he gets it dropkicked into HIS face by Northstar! Coach:"This is a version of Kick The Can that I never played as a kid!" Northstar quickly goes to pin Zack on the floor, but Zack kicks out quite easily. Northstar then tries to cover CWM, but it's the same result. Northstar picks CWM up by the hair, then takes his arm and Irish Whips him into the guardrail. Northstar then takes Zack and rolls him back into the ring, and goes under the ring, taking whatever he finds and tossing it into the ring. Another chair, a broom, a Singapore Cane, and a cookie sheet all wind up covering the canvas, while Zack himself lay down, recovering. Northstar also finds a fire extinguisher, and holds onto that while he rolls himself back in. Getting to his feet, Northstar stands above Zack and holds the fire extinguisher in a rather lewd position, taunting Zack and getting the crowd riled up in the process. Before God knows what can happen, CWM reenters and spins Northstar around...AND GETS A FACE FULL OF FOAM~! Northstar sprays the fire extinguiser in CWM's face, and blinds him! Northstar turns his attention back to Zack, but when he goes to pull Zack up, Zack responds by lifting Northstar up and planting him with an inverted atomic drop. Northstar drops the fire extinguisher in order to clutch himself, and then falls victim to a lariat from the ex-World Champion! Zack then heads over to CWM, who is holding onto the top rope with one hand while wiping his eyes with the other, and grabs him in a facelock. Zack kicks off the corner and spins around, using a Tornado DDT on CWM...BUT CWM hangs on...SO ZACK HOLDS ON AND USES A NECKBREAKER...NO! Northstar comes at Zack, but Malibu kicks him in the gut...DDT ON NORTHSTAR AND A NECKBREAKER ON CWM AT THE SAME TIME! ZACK MALIBU TAKES THEM BOTH OUT! Coach:"YO~!" MC:"What a manuever by Zack Malibu!" Zack goes for the pin on Northstar, hooking the leg...BUT ONLY GETS TWO! He picks him up and goes to send him into the ropes, but Northstar reverses...AND ZACK REVERSES, catching him with a Rock Bottom Backbreaker! With Northstar down, Zack grabs both of his legs, and rolls him onto his stomach...BOSTON CRAB! MC:"The very move that Northstar used to wear Zack out in their Iron Man match, after he had press slammed him through the raised entranceway, and it could be the move that makes Zack Malibu the new 24/7 Champion tonight!" Northstar is yelling in agony, reaching in all directions but too far from the ropes. CWM recovers from the neckbreaker, and sees Northstar's condition...AND LOCKS ON A CAMEL CLUTCH AT THE SAME TIME! Coach:"They're going to break Northstar in half!" MC:"What if he taps out now, Coach? Who gets the belt?" With CWM cinching in the camel clutch, Zack lets go of the Boston Crab and rushes towards the ropes, then rebounds to the other side...AND CATCHES CWM RIGHT IN THE FACE WITH A BASEMENT DROPKICK! CWM lets go of his grip and falls to the side, while Northstar rolls into a corner, as his Acolytes comes over to check on him. CWM struggles to get to his feet, but Zack picks the broom that had been thrown in earlier, and brings it down across CWM's back, breaking it in half! CWM stands up, but his face is a twisted snarl of pain, as he walks forward. He goes into the corner and Zack blocks him in, hitting a WHOO~!...CHOP!, and another, and a third, before climbing up to the second rope and unloading punches to CWM's temple. As Zack is firing away, Northstar comes up behind him, and pulls him off of CWM, onto his own shoulders...AND POWERBOMBS ZACK MALIBU ONTO A STEEL CHAIR! Norhtstar quickly covers...AND GETS PULLED OFF BY CWM! CWM goes down for the cover...NO! NORTHSTAR PULLS CWM OFF OF ZACK! Two of the most hated men in the OAOAST are now nose to nose in the middle of the ring! Northstar mouths off to CWM, getting a little too cocky because he actually starts tapping his cheek with his finger, daring CWM to hit him! CWM rears back for a punch, but Northstar blocks it, rakes CWM's eyes, and then slams him head first into the mat by his hair! Northstar prances across the ring, and leans over the ropes to Alix, his main squeeze, and motions his fingers for her to give him something...a little personal mirror! Northstar starts checking himself out in the mirror in mid match! MC:"Look at the arrogance this guy has!" Northstar is primping himself in the mirror when he spies CWM getting to his feet, and when CWM turns around, Northstar smashes the mini-mirror across his forehead, drawing blood for the first time this match! Coach:"I guess he was smarter than we thought!" Northstar pulls CWM up in a facelock, and then drives his skull into the mat with a brainbuster! Northstar goes for the cover on CWM, but gets pulled off just before three by Zack, who's mobile after being laid out! Zack picks Northstar up, but Northstar quickly jumps up and tries a crucifix on Zack, who hangs on, and then uses an F5 style manuever, tossing Northstar outward so that he lands on the apron and guillotines his throat on the top rope! Before Zack can do any further damage, a groggy CWM nails him from behind, then tries a back suplex, only to have Zack float over...YAKUZA KICK...CWM DUCKS AND ZACK NAILS NORTHSTAR, WHO GOES FLYING OFF THE APRON AND DOWN INTO THE GUARDRAIL IN A SICK BUMP! Coach:"I said it before, and I know I'll say it again, but...YO~!" Zack looks down to the floor at Northstar, but quickly gets rolled up by CWM, who rolls through...INTO A RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX! MC:"That was a variation of the Chaos Theory Suplex made famous by Doug Williams!" Coach:"Oh yeah, the playa that used to have that talk show." MC:"That was MONTEL Williams, you schmuck!" CWM clears the ring of some of the debris, save for the two steel chairs. He sets them up in seated positions near one of the corners, and then drags Zack over to the corner. Malibu gets propped up on the ropes, and CWM follows up. MC:"My God, he's going to drive Zack right through those chairs!" CWM tries for the superplex, but Zack uses quick thinking and locks his legs so that he can't be pried off the ropes. CWM tries again, but Zack holds on, and then in a desperation move, shoves CWM off...CROTCHING HIM ON THE TOP ROPE! CWM straddles the top rope, while Zack shakes the cobwebs loose, and then perches himself on the top turnbuckle, then LEAPS OFF with a huracanrana, taking both he and CWM down to the ringside floor! MC:"Say it, you know you want to..." Coach:"YO~! YO~! YO~!, a thousand times YO~!" Now all three men are down on the floor. Northstar took the spill off the apron, and both Zack and CWM had a lot taken out of them as they came crashing down. Candie rushes over to Zack, while Alix and the other Acolyte have helped Northstar to his feet. Noticing the Singapore Cane laying at his feet, Northstar reaches down and grabs it off the floor. As Candie is helping Zack up, Northstar brings the cane down on his back, leaving a welt across it! Zack falls back to the floor, and Candie jumps back in shock, but now Northstar starts stalking her with the cane! Candie backsteps, but then Northstar turns his attention back to Zack, bringing the cane down on his back again as he's getting up, then standing over him and using the cane to choke him out! Northstar finally gets up, leaving Zack to gasp for air on the floor. Northstar goes and gives CWM a little unwanted assistance in getting to his feet, and then promptly jabs him in the ribs with the cane as well! Northstar tosses CWM back into the ring, and then climbs up on the apron himself, before stepping through the ropes. He taps the mat with the cane, waiting on CWM. Northstar winds up and takes a swing, but CWM ducks it, and kicks Northstar low! The 24/7 Champion hunches over, having taken two shots to his *ahem* special place this match, and CWM grabs him in a waistlock, possibly looking for a German Suplex, but Northstar kicks his leg back, and kicks CWM low! Both men are ready for choir practice, and go scrambling to opposite sides of the ring to try and fight the pain off. Almost with the same mindset, they turn and rush at each other, and wind up taking each other out with a double clothesline! All three men are feeling the wear and tear of the match, as Zack is hurting at ringside, while both the champion and one of his challengers have taken each other out. Slowly but surely, Zack starts getting up on the apron, and at the same time both Northstar and CWM start to stir. Out of the three of them, CWM is on his feet first, and while he goes for Northstar, he notices Zack on the apron and goes to him, but catches a shoulder to his ribs to ward him off! CWM tries to get Zack again, but catches another shoulder to the ribs, and then Malibu launches himself over with a sunset flip to CWM! The referee dives down for the count, but Northstar breaks it up by kicking Zack square in the face! Northstar reaches down to pick Zack up, but CWM takes advantage of the situation and uses a schoolboy rollup on the 24/7 Champion! CWM puts all his weight down on him, but Northstar is able to kick out at the last possible instant! Before CWM can go after Northstar now, Zack spins him around and cradles him in a small package...TWO COUNT ONLY! MC:"It's like watching a video in fast forward! They're all trying desperately for the gold!" Coach:"These men are no strangers to championships, Cole. They know the presitge that comes along with holding a belt!" As CWM and Zack are getting to their feet after the latest in the pin attempts, Northstar quickly jumps up onto Zack's shoulders, and snaps off a beautiful inverted huracanrana, one of the same moves that he used to win a fall during the Iron Man match earlier this year. As Northstar gets up, he catches a boot to the gut, and CWM tries to powerbomb him onto the two chairs set up from earlier, but Northstar spins himself around, going for an inverted rana on CWM...NO! CWM staggers with Northstar on his shoulders...AND GIVES HIM AN ELECTRIC CHAIR DROP THROUGH THE TWO CHAIRS! MC:"Holy crap!" Northstar came down facefirst into the steel, sending the chairs flying across the ring. CWM sits up, looking at the damage he's caused, and a sick grin stretches across his face. He drags Northstar's body into the middle of the ring and rolls him over, the champion's nose bloodied beyond belief. CWM goes for the pinfall, but at the count of 2, CWM gets off of Northstar, then mounts his shoulders, holding him with one hand by the hair, and peppering his nose with right hands! Coach:"Northstar is going to need another nose job after this matchup is done!" MC:"Another? You know something I don't know?" Coach:"Oh c'mon Cole, you know those Hollywood types. He's probably had chest hair implants!" MC:"At least he's got some of it." Coach:"But at least I'M silky smooth." CWM goes for a pin after bashing in Northstar's nose, but this time it gets broken up for a different reason, as Zack comes soaring off the turnbuckles with the patented HANG TIME LEGDROP~! across the back of CWM's head! Now all three men are laying on the mat in the ring, exerting every last ounce of energy in hopes of capturing (or in Northstar's case, retaining) the 24/7 Championship. MC:"This match has been so hard to keep track of. Every time one of these guys goes down, they're right back in the mix, not letting themselves get the worst of it all, despite taking some brutal shots." Before you know it, all three men are up to their feet. CWM staggers Zack with a shot, who fires right back with one of his own. Northstar clobbers Zack with a forearm, but CWM pulls him up and hits a stiff chop across his chest. Zack kicks CWM in the gut, and looks to go for a POP Drop~!, but Northstar clubs Zack in the back of the neck, and then grabs him in a facelock, looking for the RODEO DRIVER~!, only to have CWM lariat him out of his boots! CWM gets Zack, but Malibu knocks his hands away, and comes firing off with elbow after elbow, and then a ROARING ELBOW~!, but CWM ducks it and grabs Zack for a back suplex, only to have him kick off the oncoming Northstar and float over CWM's back! CWM turns around, right into a YAKUZA KICK...BUT HE DUCKS AND NORTHSTAR EATS BOOT~! Coach:"Did you see that!" MC:"Oh I saw it, Coach! Northstar might need some dental work done as well after that shot!" CWM laughs at Zack, then quickly goes for a cover, only to be pulled off by Zack Malibu. CWM gets up and glares at him, and now these two are face to face, nose to nose, and neither man is backing down. Both men try backing the other up, but neither man will give, and CWM takes his hand and slaps the taste out of Zack's mouth, egging him on even further! Zack comes right back at CWM, and now CWM shoves him, just toying with him, taunting him, and Zack comes at him like a house of fire! Right hands stagger CWM against the ropes, and Zack sends CWM in, only to have CWM spin around to face Zack...AND GRAB HIM FOR A POLLYCUTTER...NO! Zack shoves CWM away, and he collides with Northstar! The two men BUTT heads, and CWM staggers around...RIGHT INTO SCHOOL'S OUT BY ZACK! CWM falls backwards...INTO A QUICK ROLLUP BY NORTHSTAR! The referee dives down, and so does Zack as soon as he realizes it, but it's too late! The referee has counted to three! Announcer:"Here is your winner, and STILL 24/7 Champion...NORTHSTAR!" Northstar gets the HELL out of the ring, as Alix grabs the belt and runs over to him. The Acolytes of Northstar help him up the ramp, as Zack Malibu looks on. CWM is out, and Zack turns and looks at him, then just exits the ring, meeting up with Candie at ringside. MC:"Northstar sneaks away with a win that should have been Zack's!" Coach:"That was a hell of a match, and you can be sure that CWM is not going to be happy about Zack Malibu costing him a title two weeks in a row." MC:"The 24/7 Title stays on Northstar's waist, and fans, when we come back, it's X Division action. Ragdoll, against IZ's Jay Darring in a Special Challenge Match, it's NEXT!"

*Cue "Get Low" by Lil John and The Eastside boys* (The picture turns to Josh Matthews on the new set of Josh's high five! He's sitting on a leopard print bean bag with a zebra print bean bag across from. Behind him on a slightly elevate platform is DJ 2-day. There's unreadable graffiti littered on the brick walls of the set) Josh: To the windows!!! What's crack-a-lacking pizimps! This here J.Math back once again with Josh's high five! Hell yeah, J.Math once again throwing it up for the home team! Givin mad props to DJ 2-day! DJ 2-day: You da man, Josh! Josh: No doubt! Ya'll the deal. A guest comes on the show and I ask him or her five questions. Let's get crunk. My first guest is Zack Malibu! (Zack walks on stage and plops down on the zebra print bean bag) Josh: Zack, thanks for coming to spit on my shit. ZM:"Ah...OK Josh, whatever man. What's on your mind?" Josh: Zack since you've lost the title, there's a rumbling that the fire in your heart is out. No one will dispute that you're a solid wrestler, but do you still have the urge to become a world champion? Are you just going through the motions now? ZM:"Let me say this, Josh. That fire in my heart you speak of, that fire will never die. Every competitor has it, it's just how he channels that inspiration. When I first arrived here in the OAOAST I was all about myself, you know it, the fans know it, but more importantly, I know it. What I learned along the way was that I got more enjoyment not only by doing things for myself, but for the fans as well. I stood up when everyone else backed down. I put my life on the line in ladder matches, Hell In A Cell matches, even a War Games, one of the most brutal matches ever created. If you ask me why I did some of those things, well, I might not have an answer. What I can say is that even when I woke up sore, bloodied, or bruised, I had a smile on my face, because I know I made it count when I had the chance, and I know my efforts were appreciated. So in short, I don't think I'm going through the motions at all. I never have, and I never will." Josh: Talk to Allison lately? ZM:"Ah...you know, it's been a while since anyone asked about her. No, Josh, no I haven't. I'm not going to lie, I tried to get ahold of her many times in the past, but now she's just vanished. She's a ghost now, disappearing into thin air. I really couldn't tell you what's happened to her, but if she's watching, I wish her the best." Josh: What's your thoughts on a chick, Crystal becoming number one contender to a title that was once yours? I mean it was fine when she was 24/7 champion, but world title contender. Ain't that bullshit? Holla! She's just a girl! She can't be champion. ZM:"You know, Coach is gonna kick your ass for that. I'm damn proud of Crystal. That 'girl' as you put it even gave me a run for my money a few times. That girl is capable of much more than some give her credit for, and she's only just beginning. Winning that belt would be a huge step for her, and if she takes it, I'll be the first one to put together a victory party in her honor." Josh: Let's talk Northstar. This kid's got it crackin. Straight out of Beverly Hills, through Hollyweird and into the OAOAST. He's been on a roll, knocking off guys like Anglesault and Tim Moysey like he was Tony Montana. Do you still think of him as the ditzy guy with pig tails and the hello kitty shirt? Or do you now see him as the mastermind, legend killer he claims to be? ZM:"When I see Northstar I see the guy who was able to test my limits. I see the man responsible for ruining my personal life at one time, and damn near ending my professional one. Do I take him lightly? I never did, and I never will. He's made the most of his opportunities, I'll give him that much. He's made the 24/7 Title mean something, putting it on the line against anyone who suggested a title match. Now tonight, it's a different story, because he has to deal with me again, and I just might add that 24/7 belt to my personal collection." Josh: Tonight, you're in a 24/7 match against Northstar and CWM. Now, these two men were once your former friends. Now, you've been pitted against both them on tonight's show and CWM is waging a brutal war against you. Don't you think that you're a terrible friend, if both of these guys turned there back on you? Northstar was only your friend for a little bit but CWM was one of your main dawgs. Shouldn't you shoulder some, if not most of the blame for the ruining of your friendship? Isn't your fault that CWM has become somewhat of a deranged man? ZM:"Let's get one thing straight. In the wrestling business, long term friendships are hard to come by, because you've all got the same goals and you're always going to BUTT heads with someone. My 'good friend' CWM has busted me open, put me through tables, and almost tossed me from 30 feet in the air before. I thought once he came back that the past would stay buried, but now...I don't know what to make of him. It's as if now that the common enemy is no longer upon us, he's created this scenario in his mind that everyone is out to get him. Not just me, everyone. He doesn't like the new kids, the rookies, getting the spotlight. Why do you think he wanted a match with Northstar last week? He wanted to ruin his career. You think he likes the fact that Northstar has a title? Or Ragdoll? Or that Calvin is World Champion? But he calls ME a glory hog? Hell no, CWM is the one trying to cling to past glory, and I'm going to be the one to step on his hands and show him reality. As for Northstar, yeah we got along in the beginning, but I think his arrogance overshadows everything else. I've dealt with snobs before, so dealing with him is no new game." Josh: Yo that's all the time we gots for tonight. Shouts out to mah dawgs in the LBC, STL, ATL and the 313. Zack, good luck in getting your ass kicked tonight. *Commercial Break*

(The camera fades in to see HD commish Tim Moysey addressing an unknown figure across from him.) TIM: Well, this is certainly an unexpected surprise, although I'd be lying if I wasn't happy. (The camera pans to the left to see INTENSEZONE'S JAY DARRING is the other member of the conversation.) JAY: You should be happy, you saw the tape, Lauren's been training her BUTT off to be an active wrestler, and you can see she's got a ton of talent, she'll be a huge asset to the women's division. TIM: And she's okay with this? I'd figure the two of you would want to stay together. JAY: This is what she's always wanted, to be an active wrestler, and because of my brother Dan Black won't give her a contract for IntenseZone. I'm already living my dream, why shouldn't she? I'm sure we can handle the separation...plus she doesn't want to be around Puerto Rican Lightning anymore. TIM: I hear that, he should have been locked up with Poet's psycho freak brother. Speaking of that, how the hell did Mike get a contract? He's not even trained! JAY: Friends with Black, I really don't want to talk about that right now. Lauren had a family emergency, she'll be here to sign the contract next week, pending... "VIIVAAA LAS VEGAS!" (The X CHAMP RAGDOLL barges into the picture, blasting his new theme music over a boombox. Tim and Jay cover their ears in agony.) RAGDOLL: Yo, Boysey, when are you gonna give me some competition for this belt? Destroying Mad Matt time and time again is getting pretty fucking boring. TIM: Austin, do you mind? I'm sorta busy right now. (Ragdoll turns to Jay) RAGDOLL: Oh hey, Jay Jay! How's the road to Jobberville treatin' ya? JAY: I may be losing, but I can still pin your ass anytime I feel like it. In fact, tonight is as good a time as any. RAGDOLL: Like ya did last time huh? (Smiles.) You know Jay, you were the fad for a while, but now Ragdoll's the wave of the future in OAOAST. At least I know how to *properly* deal with my family... JAY: (Eyes locked on Ragoll)- Tim, did you ever meet someone and they just rub you the wrong way, so much so that you wanted to knock them on their ass? TIM: You don't want me naming names, Jay. JAY: I'd say now is one of those times for me. (Jay CRACKS Ragdoll right in the face with a left hand! Ragdoll's head snaps back, but he quickly recovers. He wipes the blood from his hand and looks at it.) RAGDOLL: Motherfucker. (Ragdoll takes Jay down and throws wild punches at Jay. They roll around exchanging punches as Moysey desperately tries to separate them!) *Cut back to the announcers* MC:"Looks like a little impromptu action in the GM's office!" Coach:"Man, why doesn't any impromptu action go down in the girls locker room?" Cue: Breathe by Prodigy Cole: Thank God something cut you off before parents worldwide had to change the channel. Fans, we are set for our 3 on 2 handicap Tag Team Title match! ANNOUNCER: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest scheduled for one fall is a three on two handicap match for the OAOAST Tag Team Championship! Introducing first, the challengers, representing Totally Endorsed, Sly, Colvid and The Dark One, AXELLLLLLLLLL! *the crowd boos heavily as soon as Totally Endorsed comes out* Cole: Axel was not in the house last week; he was smarting from that Tag Title loss at Dirty Deeds! Cue: ‘California Love’ ANNOUNCER: And introducing their opponents, they are the OAOAST Tag Team Champions, Parka and Peter Knight, THE DREAM MACHINES! *The crowd pops furiously as the Champs appear at the entrance and make their way down to ringside* Coach: A big win over Totally Endorsed at Dirty Deeds and another big win over Toy Machine last week! They are on a roll! The bell sounds and we have PK and Colvid starting off. Collar and Elbow Tie-up, side headlock by PK, Colvid whips him into the ropes, shoulder block by PK. Cole: The first knockdown of the match there. PK gets up and the two men lock up again, side headlock by Colvid this time, PK whips Colvid, armdrag by PK into an armringer. PK stands up and reverses the armringer into a hammerlock. PK pushes Colvid into the ropes and Colvid knocks him down with a shoulder block. Colvid runs the ropes, PK ducks low, leapfrog by PK, shoulderblock by PK. Colvid gets up quickly, armdrag by PK, armdrag by Colvid, Japanese armdrag by PK, both men go for dropkicks, both men stand and guard. Coach: Great wrestling by these two men early, Totally Endorsed want this Tag Gold! Another lock up by PK and Colvid, PK backs Colvid right into the ropes, and ref calls for a break. PK gets a cheap kick to the midsection, and wrenches the arm, before going to his corner and tagging in Sly. Sly goes to the second rope and hits PK with a double axe handle. European uppercut by Sly, followed by another. Sly hooks PK up, and hits a snap Suplex. Sly goes to the second rope, and hits a kneedrop. Cover, but only a two. Cole: First cover of the match there by Sly, Totally Endorsed have gained an early advantage. Sly pick PK up and sends him flying with an Irish whip. PK ducks the clothesline attempt, and hits a clothesline! STO by PK, followed by a elbow drop! Cover! 1… 2… No! Cole: PK is coming back here; he might be well served to get a tag though. PK picks sly up by the hair, and brings him over to the corner to tag in Parka. Parka kicks Sly in the midsection, hooks his head, and gives him a Brainbuster! Cover! 1… 2… No! Sly kicks out! Parka picks Sly up again, hooks the leg, and hits a Fisherman Buster! Cover! 1… 2… No! Parka goes to go to the top rope, but Colvid steps in the ropes as if to stop him! The referee stops Colvid before he comes in, and Parka flips Colvid off! This allows Sly time to go behind Parka and nail a low blow! Bob Saget Deluxe Special by Sly! 1… 2… No! Parka kicks out! Cole: The distraction from Colvid allowed Sly to get that low blow in and shift the tide of this match. What won’t Totally Endorsed do to win the Tag Team titles? Sly whips Parka into the corner and tags in Axel, for his first real action since Dirty Deeds. Kick to the midsection by Axel, followed by a scoop slam. Axel goes up top and hits a Leg Drop! Cover! 1… 2… No! Parka kicks out! Axel goes over to PK while Parka is down and taunts him. PK comes in to get Axel but he is cut off by the referee! Meanwhile Colvid comes into the ring and kicks Parka in the midsection, followed by the Volume Spiker! Axel goes up top once again, and this time he hits a Five Star Frog Splash! Cover! Cole: We could have new Champions here! 1… 2… No!!! PK breaks up the count! Axel picks Parka up once again and this time hits a Sitout Powerbomb! Cover! 1… 2… No! PK breaks it up again! Coach: Two near pinfalls that Peter Knight has broken up now. Totally Endorsed are in complete control here! Axel whips Parka into the corner once again and makes a tag to Sly. Sly flips PK off and PK tries to come into the ring, but once again he is stopped by the referee! Colvid then chokes Parka in the corner while Sly stomps a mud hole in him! Sly picks Parka up once again and gives him the USA High Angle Backdrop! Cover! 1… 2… No! Cole: Parka is getting pummeled in there; he really needs to make a tag Coach. Coach: I know Michael, he’s gotta get to PK! Sly whips Parka into the ropes, reversed by Parka, Sly goes for a clothesline but Parka ducks, and Parks hits a bulldog! Sly up quickly, chop by Parka! WOOO! Another Chop! WOOO! Another! WOOO! Parka whips Sly into the ropes, and both men hit clotheslines on each other! Both men are down! Cole: Both men are down here, we are about to get a 10 count! 1! 2! 3! 4! 5! 6! Cole: Parka and Sly are both moving to their respective corners, I wonder who will get there first! 7! 8… No! Parka tags in PK and Sly tags in Colvid! Clothesline by PK on Colvid! Another clothesline by PK! Irish whip by PK, followed by a BAAAACK BODY DROP! PK hooks Colvid up, and gives him a vertical Suplex, followed by another! Then PK picks Colvid up again and hits the Falcon Arrow to complete the Knight Roll! Cover! 1… 2… No! Axel breaks up the count! Cole: The momentum has shifted quickly in the champions favor! But can they overcome three on two? Scoop slam by PK, PK goes up top and hits a legdrop! Cover! 1… 2… No! Colvid kicks out! Tag by PK to Parka. Parka goes up top straight away and measures Colvid! Parka hits a jumping fist drop! Cover! 1… 2… No! Colvid kicks out again! Parka goes up top again, but Sly shakes the ropes and Parka crotches himself! Colvid goes up top with Parka, hooks the head, and hits a Superplex off the top rope, which shakes the ring! Colvid picks Parka up and sends him to the corner. Colvid tags in Axel once again! Cole: Here comes the Dark One, the freshest man in this match up. Axel sends Parka into the ropes and hits a Spinebuster! Axel grabs Parkas leg, and turns him over into the Axel Grinder! Cole: Axel Grinder! Parka might tap here; Totally Endorsed might have the Tag Titles won! Parka goes for the ropes, but Axel pulls him into the middle of the ring! The crowd are screaming for Parka to get there! Coach: Parka is going to tap! There is no way ou- PK comes flying off the top with a missile dropkick to the back of Axels head, breaking the hold! Cole: There is a way out Coach, and PK just showed us that way! Coach: Shut up. Axel gets up quickly as Parka is making his way over to the corner, reaching out to PK! Cole: He needs to make a tag here, otherwise the might lose the tag titles! Coach: Thanks for that, Einstein. Cole: Coach, shut the hell up! Axel cuts Parka off at the last second and kicks him low! Axel lifts Parka up and hits a Sitout Powerbomb! Cover! 1… 2… 3… NO! PK interrupts the count! Axel picks Parka up again; Irish whip by Axel, Parka is caught, BIG Overhead Belly to Belly by Axel! Axel goes up top, measures Parka, and HIGH CROSSBODY! COVER! 1… 2… 3… NOOO! Parka gets a shoulder up! Axel again picks Parka up on his shoulders, and hits a Death Valley Driver! Axel then tags in Colvid, who goes up top and hits the COLVID CRUNCH! Cole: COLVID CRUNCH! COLVID CRUNCH! This one is over! We’ve got new Tag Champions! 1… 2… 2.5… 2.999… NOOOOOOOOOOO! Parka gets a shoulder up at the last second and Colvid can’t believe it! Colvid picks Parka up once again and Irish whips him, Parka ducks a clothesline again, and hits a Float Over DDT! Parka does a commando roll to the other side of the ring and tags in PK! PK runs straight over to Colvid and drops a leg! He then flips off Axel and Sly! Axel and Sly try to get into the ring, but the referee stops them! Cole: A little role reversal by the Champs! They have the advantage now! PK goes up top and measures Colvid for a clothesline, but Colvid shoves the referee in front of him, and PK flattens the ref! Cole: The ref is down! Colvid goes for a clothesline on PK, but PK ducks and picks Colvid up! Knightmare on Colvid!!!! Cole: That’s the KNIGHTMARE! PK has this won! Crowd: 1! 2! 3! Coach: There’s no ref to count the pin though Michael! Axel then comes into the ring and seizes his opportunity, picking PK up and giving him an AXEL SLAM! Cole: Axel Slam! PK is down! Meanwhile, Sly goes out of the ring and grabs Axels Black Bat! Parka flies into the ring and starts hitting Axel with right hands! Sly goes up top with the bat! Cole: Parka, watch out! Sly’s got the Bat! Parka goes for another clothesline on Axel, but Axel ducks! Sly goes to hit Parka with the bat, but Parka moves out of the way, and Sly drives the baseball bat into Axels head! Cole: What a miscue there by Sly! Sly is stunned! He doesn’t know what to do! He turns around to face Parka, who kicks him in the midsection and hits the Day of the Dead! Cole: Axel is out! Sly is out! PK and Colvid are now up! PK lifts Colvid up on his shoulders, and Parka goes up top! Cole: They might be going for it all here! Parka comes off the top and hits a hurricanrana to complete the Dream Catcher!!! Cole: THAT’S THE DREAM CATCHER! THE DREAM CATCHER! PK makes the cover! The referee crawls over! 1… 2… 3!!!! DING DING DING! Cue: California Love ANNOUNCER: Here are your winners, and STILL OAOAST Tag Team Champions, Parka and Peter Knight, THE DREAM MACHINES!!! Cole: Against all the odds! The Dream Machines have done it here! Coach: What a hard fought victory by the Tag Champs! Sly gets into the ring to help up Colvid, and we see Axel stumble into the ring, his face a crimson mask from the bat shot that he took from his teammate. Axel looks at Sly and rolls his eyes up in the back of his head! Sly and Colvid get the hint and quickly exit the ring! Axel grabs a microphone! Cole: We might here from Axel here! Axel is puffing hard, his face a bloody mess! Axel: That is IT! First Eddy Calm cost me my gold, then Sly Summers! I will not stand for this crap! I am now leaving my search for gold to a later date. I now want to become the single most feared man in the OAOAST! Next week, I am issuing an open challenge! I want a match, but not just any match! I want it No Holes Barred, Falls Count Anywhere! I want someone on this roster to feel more pain than they have ever experienced in their sad, pathetic little lives! I am powerful, I am immortal, I can do anything, I am cursed, I am the Darkness! Cole: Axel issuing an open challenge for next week? Axel: I don’t care who it is dammit! Whoever wants to face me, they will feel the pain, taste the pain, and when it’s all said and done, they will like the damn pain! Cue: ‘Breathe’ by Prodigy Cole: Who will answer Axel’s challenge? Coach: Well I’m certainly not going to Cole! Cole: Well I thought as much! Who could Axel have in mind to face next week in a No Holes Barred match?

CUE: “She” by The Misfits. ::Josie and Melanie come down together, Josie strutting her stuff and Melanie looking as pissed off as usual. Ignoring the crowd’s response, they just wait for Crystal, waiting to strike:: MC:"Now Coach, you had better get control of these urges of yours. You're not going to leave me stranded here to do the show solo." Coach:"Aw Michael, I told you I won't faint." MC:"True, but if you get hauled out for indecent exposure, me nor the audience will ever forgive you." CUE: “Just a Girl” by No Doubt. Coach:"Shoosh! It's mah girl!" Crystal comes sprinting down the ring, wasting no time. She brawls with the two other ladies, getting the upper hand at first, but then losing to the dreaded numbers game. Melanie and Josie nod at each other, and simultaneously whip Crystal the ropes, but Crystal reverses with a double clothesline! She tosses Melanie outside and works over Josie, whipping her to the ropes. Before Crystal can do anything, Melanie pulls Josie out of the ring. The two heels huddle and attempt to regroup as Crystal looks on impatiently. Instead of waiting for the two to get back in the ring, Crystal runs and jumps over the rope, doing a plancha on the both of them! MC:"Look at the grace of that move! Crystal can fly with the greatest of them!" Crystal goes back in the ring, posing a bit. Josie and Melanie strategize a bit, and Melanie decides to start off with Crystal. The two ladies lock up and Melanie puts Crystal in headlock. Crystal pushes her off to the ropes, leapfrogs over her, and dropkicks her. Melanie gets up quickly and is met with a clothesline! Crystal runs the ropes, but gets stopped by Josie by the hair. Crys turns around, and takes her down with a blow to the face. She turns to go back to Mel, but is met with kick in the gut followed with a DDT. Melanie goes for the first pinfall of the match. 1 Kickout! Coach:"Be still my heart, she's still in it!" Crystal kicks out pretty quickly, though a little dazed from the DDT. Melanie talks some trash, pulling Crystal up by the hair. She whips Crystal to the corner, and charges. Crystal puts up the boot though. She climbs to the second rope, and catches Melanie in a swinging neckbreaker! She sees Josie trying to get back in the ring, and dropkicks her knees while she’s on the apron, knocking her back outside! Coach:"That's it, you get her girlfriend!" MC:"Jeez Coach, why don't you just grab some poms poms and stand on the table shouting CRYSTAL! CRYSTAL! CRYSTAL!" Crystal takes down a dazed Melanie with a snapmare, followed by a thunderous kick to the back. She picks her up and delivers a snap suplex, followed by a standing moonsault! Instead of going for the cover, she goes for the Crystalling and locks it in! MC:"This could be it!" Josie runs back in with a chair and tries to catch Crystal offguard with a chair shot, but Crystal saw it coming, let go of the Crystalling, and locks it in the Crystalling on Josie. Coach:"She's wearing them both out! Josie's got nowhere to go!" Josie screams for Melanie to aid her, but Mel's in no condition. With nowhere to go, Josie has no choice but to give in. She taps! WINNER: Crystal Coach:"WOOHOO!" MC:"You sounded just like Homer Simpson right there." "Just A Girl" plays over the loudspeakers, as the fans hoot and holler their admiration for the Female Phenom. Tonight it was Josie and Melanie, but one day soon, it could very well be Calvin Szechstein tapping out.

I might actually be on AIM tonight, so if you guys wind up getting one together, just send me the invite.

OK, you do NOT post something like that without details, damn you .

Dear Diary, "Plushy Al Logan" makes Mario sound like a used car salesman. He may have found a career niche after all. Yay for him, Zack

Loyalty schmoyalty. The Rangers have contained some of the greatest players ever, but even my markdom for Richter doesn't overshadow my loyalty to my personal favorite player of all time (not even a Ranger)...Patrick Roy. Hence my Montreal fandom (though I've stuck with them through the years even after his departure).

Yes, because when good hD~!'s routinely got 1's and 3's from people, we immediately blamed IZ guys.

Eddie Murphy doing this during his RAW concert (along with the "white guys dance like THIS" routine) is fucking funny as hell.

Pssh, I can't stand the Sox. I'm a Rhode Islander, and I loathe the Sox, the Patriots, and the Bruins. The only home team I like are the Celtics, but I barely follow the NBA anymore. I liked the Yankees as a kid (and the A's, actually. Canseco and McGwire on the same team rocked) and I won't stop supporting them, ESPECIALLY against the Sox. I'd root for the Rockies over the Sox.

Think M-Dogg and Josh are gonna feel slightly uncomfortable with certain people from CZW (coughACIDcough) at the show? Maybe it's because I just recently started watching One More Time, but given that Trent is CZW's franchise more or less, I'd expect some definite tension.

OK gang, as announced by Northstar this past week, the main event on 10/9 will be a Triple Threat for the 24/7 Title, with Northstar defending against both Zack Malibu and CWM. Due to the events during her number one contenders match this past week, can we see Crystal vs. Josie and Melanie in a handicap, no holds barred match? Any other matches/promos we could see, put 'em here. CC, if that match is a problem for you, let me know.

Child's Play (one I'm highly surprised hasn't gotten mentioned yet) Puppet Master (cult favorite) Sleepaway Camp (historic ending)

That's what I was thinkin' too.

The freakin' preview writeups for these shows are awesome, so I can imagine how good the shows are. Glad to see they're going all out by putting Kazarian against some of the best indy workers out there to establish their belt. I'm not much of a fan of his, but if they've got the faith, more power to them. He's a good worker, but his lack of charisma (as a face at least, in TNA) just falls short with me.

What?

I've been gone a few days, but uh, you're a Super Mod now Zack? Yep. Jingus stepped down, and Dames felt I was the most qualified to fill a mod slot. Took me by surprise, because I signed onto TSM and saw that I had all the access a mod had without even a PM notifying me. But yeah, I'm a man of power now. Go me!

Chave, you DID vote for me, didn't you? And when does this end?

There were much better ways to play off the Spanky/London alliance, like say, oh I don't know... HAVE THEM ON TV AS A TEAM!? Seriously, stick them against the MFers or the Bashams. Have London get a win over someone (Moore/Hardy I'd guess), get double teamed after, and have Spanky get the save. No, instead we get London getting ransacked by Smilin' Brock, and he can't even be saved by the guy who's going to be his tag team partner. Spanky and Lonon=the new Kaientai.

It's neck and neck with me and Ripper people...VOTE DAMN YOU, VOTE! You'll be a part of history if you do!

Someone broke the Buffy streak! I owe you a beer, Parka.

Sorry, but Mario already has claim to hating us humans.