Zack Malibu

He's the only guy I can say that TNA has really "dicked over". See how Raven, D Lo, even Crash Holly now got a shot when they came in? Erik Watts even was originally slated to feud with Jarrett! What did Mike do? He laid down for Jim Duggan. He could have been gold, Jerry, GOLD.

Don't encourage her. She's an uninhibited gal. That said, I got the shit scared out of me by being a bad accident when someone else was driving, and flipped their car with me in it. Had I not had the seatbelt on, I would have been dead. That was enough to scare me straight into making sure I drove well, and while I'm not a "grandma" driver, I'm not a showoff or careless driver. To this day I do not have an accident or a ticket to my name. That said, I'll echo the sentiments of most here and ask WHY THE FUCK HAVEN'T YOU LEARNED? One accident or one ticket can't scare you, so what will? You're going to have a suspended license by the end of the year at this rate, and you're only what, 18 or so? See that pedal they put next to the gas? It's called a brake...it can be used. Go ahead and pop it's cherry, will ya? If not for your sake, then for the sake of everyone on the road.

First the Battle of Spaghetti O's, now this. All the best shit happens when EQ and I talk on AIM.

LMAO. Classic Shit.

This one'll wind up in NHB in no time flat.

WTF? I live in RI, where did you get that one from?

They're still being used as a sort of running gag, but we've all been out of the loop for a few days. At least our clique war was booked better than the Nation/DOA/Boriquas feud.

Once you go prep, you never take another step? Eh, I prefer the age old "Once you go Zack, you never go back". Simple, yet effective. And true.

XPW Monday Nightmare for November 17, 2003 EXPRESSED INTEREST IN ENDING THIS FEUD ONCE AND FOR ALL: Ring Crew Express vs Teen Show Express. Match Background: This will be a cage bout. This is a continuation of the Teen Show Express vs Ring Crew Express feud. The Match: Zack Sommers connects with a back heel kick on Marcos and gets back up quickly. Sly walks into a high dropkick from Dunn, almost losing several teeth in the process. Flying elbow from Zack Sommers connects. Sly Slater reverses a hip toss. Back heel kick from Sly on Dunn. Teen Show Express whip Marcos into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Super kick by Zack Sommers. Sly climbs the cage...but Dunn is in hot pursuit, and they both end up back on the canvas. Marcos avoids a Zack Sommers avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Marcos drives Zack into the cage side. Ring Crew Express whip Sly into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Spin kick by Dunn to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Zack pushes out of a Marcos hold. Zack Sommers drives Dunn into the cage side. Dunn can barely stand. Hang Over!!! That shook the ring. Marcos is in trouble. Kazstrator! Teen Show Express escape the cage for the win. Teen Show Express remain in the ring, celebrating their victory. My Opinion: If it weren't for two great moments in this match, it would have gotten a DUD. Either way, all its getting from me is a 1\2*. Uh, they climbed the cage for the victory, but remained in the ring for the win? We barely have any production value, let alone the special effects to pull that off. A lot of people may wonder why I had a cage match as the main event last week, and a cage match as the opener this week, and the answer to that is simple: the ring crew (not to be confused with the Ring Crew Express) were too damn lazy to take it down. Convienient, no? OVERALL:54 (46, 63). Everyone gained overness from this feud ending. Crocodile Dupree is walking backstage, when he hears footsteps behind him. He continues walking, and continues to hear footsteps. Too bad he left that Men At Work CD back at the WWA?, because "Who Can It Be Now" is an apporpriate song for this moment. OVERALL:67%. Crocodile Dupree gained overness from this segment. Backstage, Silva Smooth (Whore's Men members Lance Silva and GQ Smooth) approach the new XPW World Tag Team Champions, Barry Horowitz and Hakushi. Silva Smooth are looking for titles to go around their waists, and are willing to go through a great tag team to get to them. OK, so what do great tag teams have to do with Horowitz and Hakushi? Barry says that they're open for anything (might not be the best thing to say to the henchman of Lizzy Borden there, Bar) and that at XPW Stuffed, they'll give Silva Smooth the first title shot. OVERALL:56%. Everyone gained overness. Hakushi debuted his martial arts gimmick to a positive response. Horowitz debuted his old school face gimmick to a negative response. I told Adam to put "Jewish jobber", but nooo, he wouldn't hear of it. BABYFACES OF DEATH: Kaos vs Marty Jannetty. Match Background: This will be a texas death bout. This match is for the XPW King Of The Deathmatch title. Kaos has been XPW King Of The Deathmatch champion since 03 November 2003. The Match: Kaos just WAFFLES Jannetty with a STIFF chop that hurt ME to watch! Kaos sets up a chair, then bounces off it to hit a flying avalanche into the corner. VERY Sabu-like. Kaos hits a rolling kick on Jannetty. Konnan has ruined any chance for me ever enjoying this maneuver again with his shitty execution of it. Kaos hits a dropkick on Marty Jannetty and gets right back up. Kaos goes for a splash but Jannetty puts the knees up. Marty Jannetty sets up a chair, then bounces off it to hit a flying avalanche into the corner. VERY Sabu-like. Flying reverse elbow by Marty Jannetty. ONE...TWO...THREE. Jannetty defeats Kaos. The referee gets to a five count....and Kaos gets back up. Jannetty walks into a drop toe hold. Kaos crushes Jannetty with a huge legdrop. Cover gets three for Kaos, Jannetty got pinned. The referee is counting: 5....6....Marty Jannetty is back up. Power drive elbow by Kaos. That sounds like a feature on a 4 x 4, doesn't it. Cover gets three for Kaos, Jannetty got pinned. The referee is counting: 7....8....Marty Jannetty is back up. Kaos charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Marty Jannetty strikes Kaos. Kaos once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. Kaos hits a dropkick on Marty Jannetty and gets right back up. Kaos floors Marty Jannetty...and climbs the turnbuckles. Kaostrify!!! 1....2....3!! It's all over. The referee counts to 10, this match is over! Kaos extends his hand to Jannetty...and it is accepted! They shake! My Opinion: A wise man once said 'Can I get a side of bland with that bland'. He's dead now, though. That's what this match was...bland. ** A Texas Death match, and the only weapon that came into play was the chair used in the Sabu impersonation. Kaos and Jannetty shake hands afterwards, despite having just competed in a Death Match. XPW: Home of handshakes after attempted homicides. OVERALL:65 (52, 79) KODM Title gains in overness. FILLING THE WORKRATE QUOTA: Paul London vs Air Paris. Match Background: London and Paris have been feuding recently. Neither has managed to get an in-ring victory in this feud. This match is for the XPW World title. Paul London has been XPW World champion since 28 September 2003. The Match: Dropkick connects to the BUTT of the jaw and Paris goes down. Dropkick connects to the BUTT of the jaw and Paris goes down. London hits a HARD spinning kick to the jaw. There's a two count on the pin. Spin kick by Paul London to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Hooks the leg for a two count. Paul London misses a clothesline. Paris just WAFFLES London with a STIFF chop that hurt ME to watch! Covers for a quick two count. Paris crushes London with a huge legdrop. Paul London is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Tiger suplex on Paris. No Misawa references from me, I swear. Oh, dammit. The referee watches as the two wrestlers go to the outside and start brawling around ringside. He completes a ten count, and they are still outside, having ignored the count. This match is over via double count out. The fight has started up again! Paul London attacks Paris, and they brawl all around ringside, then into the crowd! They eventually disappear backstage, still fighting. My Opinion: Solid bout, but they could do a lot better. *** So remember how we were wondering why Air Paris attacked Paul London last week? I don't know why I didn't realize it before, but this feud'll write itself...Paris is jealous of London for stealing his schtick. HE wants to be the only independent worker with above average skill whose name is a European tourist attraction. I didn't say it'd be entertaining, but give me points for originality. Dames is right, these two can do a lot better, and will get that opportunity at XPW Stuffed. OVERALL:74 (62, 86). The XPW World Title has gained in overness. Paris is losing heat due to his daredevil gimmick. He's got nothing on Ben Affleck. XPW STUFFED PPV: Title Match Two Weeks In The Making: Paul London © vs. Air Paris Hey, They're Better Than The Ding Dongs XPW Tag Team Title Match: Barry Horowitz and Hakushi © vs. Silva Smooth (of the Four Whore's Men) Don't Worry, It's Still A Mystery To Me Too I Quit Match For the XPW King of the DeathMatch Title: Kaos vs. ??? Australian Open (Challenge, that is) for the XPW Television Title Crocodile Dupree vs. ??? Plus, appearing in some capacity (which is the nice way of saying "I have no fucking clue what I'm doing with them yet"...Steve Bradley, The Teen Show Express, The Ring Crew Express, and all the other "stars" (note the quotations) of XPW~!

Crotch Monkey

::Accepts, and when NS turns his back, mouths "Who the fuck is this?" To Zack.:: It's Shattered Dreams, AS. Says so in his avatar too lol.

Burgertime. Greatest.Game.Ever.

WOOHOO~! 'Bout damn time Any takers?

XPW Monday Nightmare for November 10, 2003 Head Bitch Lizzy Borden is sitting in her office, going over tonight's booking napkin. She's got a special treat for the fans, and for once it doesn't involve a striptease and a game of Hide The Salami. No, tonight will mark the debut of a former WWF Tag Team, two men who will help elevate the tag ranks of XPW. So basically, she just gave the same schpiel that every two-bit indy promoter gives when they hire anyone with a WWF/E past. Remember, she's been giving the mega-push to Steve Bradley (and vice versa). Actually, don't. Anyhow, this team has LEGIONS of fans, and anyone who stands in their way are DOOMED, especially the World Tag Team Champions, the Ring Crew Express, who defend the belts against them NEXT! OVERALL:33%. We probably should have resorted to the striptease. SINCE WHEN DO THE ROAD WARRIORS WEAR YAMAKAS MATCH FOR THE XPW WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES: Ring Crew Express vs Horowitz and Hakushi. Match Background: Horowitz is making his debut at this show. Shinzaki is making his debut at this show. Horowitz and Shinzaki are teaming up as Horowitz and Hakushi for the first time tonight. This match is for the XPW Tag Team titles. Ring Crew Express have been XPW Tag Team champions since 28 September 2003. The Match: Dunn hits a rolling kick on Shinzaki. Konnan has ruined any chance for me ever enjoying this maneuver again with his shitty execution of it. Spinning bulldog in the corner and Shinzaki is down! There's a two count on the pin. Dunn tags out to Marcos. Ring Crew Express whip Shinzaki into the corner. Marcos whips Dunn in for a hard clothesline to follow-up. Marcos hits an arm drag on Shinzaki, follows it up with about 3 more and locks in an armbar for good measure. Hooks the leg for a two count. Marcos snapmares Jinsei Shinzaki and goes for the DREADED chinlock. Jinsei Shinzaki powers out of a Marcos headlock. Tor-NADO DDT from Jinsei Shinzaki, Marcos got planted! Tag between Jinsei Shinzaki and Barry Horowitz. Big forearm by Horowitz draws laughter from the crowd because it was THAT bad. Barry Horowitz hits a bulldog off the ropes. Marcos fights out of a grapple. Tag to Dunn. Lightning kick by Dunn on Horowitz. Tiger suplex on Horowitz. No Misawa references from me, I swear. Oh, Bloody Hell! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Dropkick connects to the BUTT of the jaw and Horowitz goes down. Barry Horowitz once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. BIG clothesline from Horowitz. 'BIG' because it missed by a mile! Teen Show Express come running down the aisle with chairs! Horowitz whips Dunn into the ropes. Sly jumps onto the apron with the chair! Collision between Sly, Dunn, and the chair! Dunn falls to the canvas. Barry Horowitz moves in for the kill. Here it comes - Dropkick. 1....2...3, it's finished. Horowitz and Hakushi remain in the ring, celebrating their victory. My Opinion: Bad match which brought absolutely nothing to the table and was a waste of time. DUD Waste of time? That match introduced the original Odd Couple themselves! Remember the episode of Superstars when Horowitz tried to get Hakushi to try motza ball soup? Yeah, me neither. The TSE cost their rivals the tag titles, but in turn screwed themselves out of the next shot. Much like their teen show brothren, a lesson is to be learned from this, and all three hug, as a canned "awww" plays over the scene in the ring. OVERALL:50 (51, 51). No one said our ratings staff were math majors. Crocodile Dupree comes to to "Crocodile Rock", since the WWA? kept the rights to "Land Down Under". Nothing wrong with being an Elton John fan, says he. Dupree again mocks the injured Chris Hero, and also verbally berates "Hack Job" Jim Duggan for not being able to get it done in the ring anymore. From what his wife says, that's not the only place he can't get it done. Dupree issues a challenge to any other Americans foolish enough to take him up on it, when a bastardized version of "Medal" cues up...OMG IT CAN'T BE, HOW ON EARTH DID THEY GET HIM? Eric Angle! Fresh off a run of using his "name value" he's apparently done so again, this time getting a run with XPW. Angle charges the ring, and IT'S ON. How can be it on though? What if these guys have an off night? These are the things I think about when I'm on the john and the power goes out. OVERALL:61% XENOPHOBIA RUNNIN' WILD: Crocodile Dupree vs Eric Angle. Match Background: Eric is making his debut at this show. This match is for the XPW Television title. Crocodile Dupree has been XPW Television champion since 19 October 2003. The Match: Crocodile Dupree hits some punches. How generic. Croc hits a right hand. BAAACK Body drop by Eric gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Bodyslam by Croc. Eric Angle reverses a hip toss. Weak bodyslam on Croc by Eric sets up a legdrop. Eric Angle hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. Covers for a quick two count. Croc reverses a waistlock. Croc hits a piledriver on Eric Angle. That used to end matches, you know. Hooks the leg for a two count. Massive lariat! Stan Hansen would approve. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Eric counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face and hit a clothesline! Eric suplexes Croc to the canvas and picks the opponent back up again. Crocodile Dupree once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. Bodyslam by Croc. Eric Angle gets knocked to the ground by Croc. Eric Angle gets locked in the Croc Lock! Submission victory! Eric Angle leaves and walks back down the aisle. Wait...Crocodile Dupree comes running as well, and Eric gets dropped with a clothesline, followed by a load of stomps. He is left lying in the aisle. My Opinion: Nothing special...nothing special at all. *1/4. Pssh, I'm starting to think Dames' reviews are what's generic. I should get George Foreman to review these slugfests, and then we'll see how generic the punches are. Dupree gets another big win over another major (?) American star, and goes back to eating his Bloomin' Onions and drinking his Fosters. Well, the ones Marty Jannetty hasn't stolen. OVERALL:64 (59,70). The XPW TV Title gained in overness. THE CAGE IS MORE OF A PRECAUTION IN THIS MATCH: Kaos and Paul London vs Steve Bradley and Abyss. Match Background: This will be a cage bout. Paul London is the reigning XPW World champion, and has been since 28 September 2003. Kaos is the reigning XPW King Of The Deathmatch champion, and has been since 03 November 2003. The Match: London hits a dropkick on Abyss and gets right back up. Kaos charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. Steve Bradley throws Kaos into the cage. Abyss counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Bradley \ Abyss whip London into the corner. Steve Bradley whips Abyss in for a hard clothesline to follow-up. Spinning bulldog in the corner and Abyss is down! Spin kick by Kaos to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. London \ Kaos whip Bradley into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Paul London launches Abyss into the cage wall. Paul London has Abyss down on the canvas and is ascending the corner. Off the top - London Calling hit hard. Kaos floors Steve Bradley...and climbs the turnbuckles. Through the air, Kaostrify! London \ Kaos escape the cage for the win. Air Paris comes running down the aisle with a chair and into the ring! London turns...and is dropped by a vicious chair shot! Air Paris has left London down and bloodied. My Opinion: All you deserve for this is *. That DOESN'T mean that you're a deputy or a cop or whatever. Know how most cage matches are designed to keep people out? This one was designed to keep people in. London is still being held against his will, and you'd figure a fan would catch onto the fact that he's a hostage (a hostage with a written contract, the World Title and a main event push), but a hostage nonetheless. Anyways, London wasn't escaping for the benefit of winning as you'd imagine, but was stopped in his tracks by Air Paris, fresh off the unemployment line and now in XPW! What's his beef with London? I'm not quite sure, but I'll make something up. Air Paris...hmm...disgruntled airline pilot? French sneaker distributor...ah hell I'll think of something. OVERALL:63 (60,67). 55%. That Lizzy segment is what brought us down (as opposed to Lizzy being brought down during her segments). .14 rating 340 people $6800 tickets

If he's doing the old gimmick, they'll probably stick him with Rikishi on Smackdown to add another team to Bashams, APA, and WGTT.

IMPORTANT: The PPV is officially now the 31st, as we're still going with the "last Sunday of the month" rule like EWR. So this means if you're feuds/matches for AngleSlam aren't finalized yet, you can do so on this show and then hype it some more next week. BTW, AS, Some Guy...where are you guys!??!

That actually helps me more than you know. I'm sure the rest of the roster'll feel that way. Expect MUCHO BUILD on this hD~!

I'll drink to that. ::does kegstand::

CWM: why do that when Allison does it for me? CWM, buddy. Pal. Alison LEFT ZACK A MONTH AGO. Yeah well I'm the reason she left you. One you go lumberjack you...well you know. Once you go lumberjack you'd rather snort crack?

XPW Monday Nightmare for November 3rd, 2003 We open the show with another edition of The C-Breeze, and Jonny C.'s guest tonight is the XPW Television Champion, Crocodile Dundee. Dupree continues to berate the injured Chris Hero, taking claim for the knee injury (when in reality it was an odd series of events concerning a banana peel, an oil slick, and Tonya Harding) and says that Hero can no longer stand up for his country. Just then, a loud "HOOOOOO" echoes through the arena, but C and Dupree pay no mind, they figure it's just someone calling out Lizzy Borden. What they don't realize is that HACKSAW JIM DUGGAN is on the scene, running into the ring with his trusty 2X4 and scaring off both the host and the champ. Dupree swipes the 2X4 out of his hand when Duggan goes to nail Jonny C., but Duggan nails a few punches and takes it back. Now he and Big Poppa Popick have something in common...they've both saved the board! OVERALL:66%. The fans were confused by Dupree's gimmick change (Outbacker was called weak, so I changed it to Anti-USA). Jonny C., the king of charisma apparently, gained overness from this segment. While order is restored in the ring, Mary Beth Kapowski and the Teen Show Express. They have words for the Ring Crew Express and Konrad, talking about how this feud has been going on long enough. Eh, Sophie doesn't think so guys, so we need to stretch it out a bit more. Zack and Sly stop dead in their tracks, shrug to each other, and then run off camera to put sugar in Konrad's gas tank and have Mary Beth pretend to like Dunn and Marcos so they feud with themselves over her. Who says there's nothing educational on TV these days? OVERALL:67%. Mary Beth Kapowski and Sly Slater gained overness from this segment. IT'S THE LAND OF THE FREE, WHICH MEANS YOU CAN CHANGE THE CHANNEL: Crocodile Dupree vs Jim Duggan. Match Background: Duggan is making his debut at this show. He is a regular with FLI. This match is for the XPW Television title. Crocodile Dupree has been XPW Television champion since 19 October 2003. The Match: Duggan is a glutton for punishment and just continues to take it during this match. Trying to channel the spirit of Misawa, Crocodile Dupree ends up chanelling Lex Luger instead and nails a running forearm to the face, minus the steel plate, of course. Crocodile Dupree connects with rights and lefts and Jim Duggan is down! Hooks the leg for a two count. Crocodile Dupree with a spinning neckbreaker on Duggan. There's a two count on the pin. Duggan blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! Jim Duggan hits some weak-looking punches in the corner, but Crocodile Dupree is able to block them and return the favor in spades. Covers for a quick two count. Messed up bodyslam by Duggan almost kills Croc. Crocodile Dupree comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Death valley driver (not to be confused with the DVD 500) by Crocodile Dupree connects and Jim Duggan is down! Jim Duggan slugs Crocodile Dupree, sending him down into the corner. While Duggan fires up the crowd, Croc is removing the turnbuckle pad! Jim Duggan comes over...but Croc grabs him by the tights and uses the leverage to slingshot Jim Duggan face first into the exposed steel turnbuckle! Crocodile Dupree rolls up the stunned Jim Duggan: 1....2...3! How did the referee not see that? Jim Duggan offers a handshake to Croc...and he accepts it! No! Crocodile Dupree levels Duggan with a cheap shot right hand! Crocodile Dupree spins Duggan around. Crocodile Dupree hits the Crocodile Rock! Jim Duggan has been floored after the match. My Opinion: A DUD here would have actually been generous! -* Dames and his foreshadowing again. There's also something ironic about the French-Stralian channelling the spirit of the Lamest American Hero the wrestling world ever saw. Also, how does Duggan remain over as a face in FLI, a pro-French Canadian federation? Then again, how does Paul London remain over in my company full of shitty workers and oddly entertaining gimmicks. Should I be happy that this was my first negative star match. You could make the case that for all the negative star matches he has, Crocodile Dupree will remove one from an American flag so that he gains heat. Eh, I'd just rather let the bad matches come to me...it's no fun when you have to try for 'em. OVERALL:52 (65, 44). This apparently killed the crowd, or I've got that damn "Ratings are higher than the overall" bug that never gets fixed. Ryland...::shakes fist:: We now take you to a video showcasing the Kaos/Bradley feu...wait, what's wrong with the feed. Why is Lizzy Borden on all fours and Steve Bradley in a dog catcher's uniform? Guess she takes that bitch thing literally. Anyways the hack production crew finally realizes what's going on and cut the feed, but not after they see some full frontal. For God's sakes guys, throw her a quarter and you can touch them, too. OVERALL:51% FINALLY THE FINISH TO THE FIRST FEUD IN THE FED (say it three times fast) Kaos vs Steve Bradley. Match Background: This will be a first blood bout. Kaos and Bradley have been feuding for quite some time now. This match is for the XPW King Of The Deathmatch title. Steve Bradley has been XPW King Of The Deathmatch champion since 20 October 2003. The Match: Spinebuster by Steve Bradley. Kaos reverses a hip toss. Kaos just WAFFLES Bradley with a STIFF chop that hurt ME to watch! Second rope flying axe handle, Bradley goes down. One day, Kaos might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Kaos uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Bradley reverses a waistlock. Full nelson slam on Kaos. Spear! Kaos is down! Steve Bradley with a spinning neckbreaker on Kaos. Steve Bradley gets taken down out of nowhere! Implant DDT by Kaos! I will always and forever mark out for that move. Diamond Dust from Kaos and Bradley is out! Kaos picks up a lead pipe. Steve Bradley turns around...and gets smashed over the head with it! The referee sees blood, and this match is over! Kaos goes into the crowd, where he celebrates his victory My Opinion: Usually, this is designated for good matches that were usually way too short for some reason. What's your excuse? *3/4 ONE weapon shot in a first blood match. Bradley didn't even try. Could have been worn out from his extracurricular activities, or maybe being forced to earn his red wings with Lizzy has scarred him from ever wanting to see another person bleed. I knew I was going to make that joke, which is why we handed out vomit bags at the door tonight. Who says we don't care about our fans? OVERALL:61 (63, 74). Both men gained overness from this feud ending. The KODM Title has gained in image. SHOW OVERALL:59% .13 Rating 322 people, 257 of whom puked after the red wings comment. The remaining ones thought I was talking hockey. $6440 in ticket sales

Don't feel bad. The New Clique didn't take off either. Malibu Enterprises on the other hand...

XPW Monday Nightmare for October 27, 2003 WHORE'S MEN COME IN HANDY(CAP) MATCH: Kaos vs GQ Smooth and Lance Silva. Match Background: This will be a 2 on 1 handicap bout. Kaos has been feuding with Steve Bradley recently, who is a stable mate of Smooth in Four Whore's Men. The Match: Lance Silva kicks the leg, knocks Kaos down, and goes to work on it. Kaos takes a knee lift from Smooth. *sigh* Running knee lifts always remind me of the late Curt Hennig. GQ Smooth scoops up Kaos. Silva bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. Hooks the leg for a two count. Tiger suplex on Kaos. No Misawa references from me, I swear. Oh, Bloody Hell! Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Silva \ Smooth whip Kaos into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Kaos charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Super kick by Kaos. Pin, but Smooth is out just before the three count. Kaos drops an elbow...but Lance Silva moves out of the way. Second rope flying axe handle, Kaos goes down. One day, Silva might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Silva \ Smooth whip Kaos into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. There's a two count on the pin. Kaos pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Vicious kick to the teeth from Kaos. Steve Bradley comes running down the aisle with a chair! Smooth goes to irish whip Kaos into the ropes. Bradley jumps onto the apron with the chair...but Kaos reverses! Collision between Bradley, Smooth, and the chair! GQ Smooth staggers back into a roll up! 1...2...3! It's over! My Opinion: Hmm. Only gets * from me. Kaos gets his leg worked on right off the bat, but makes his comebacks with superkicks, mulekicks, kickstands, kickbacks, so on and so forth. This guy couldn't sell Amway, but hey, he's my main star. That makes me realize what a sad world XPW fans live in. OVERALL:56 (39,73) Crocodile Dupree sits in the back, polishing his TV Title by spewing tobacco on it and rubbing it off with his shirt. Apparently he's giving it a manly vibe, because all Australians are strict heterosexuals. This coming from the guy who teamed with Sylvain "will open ass for push" Grenier. Dupree mentions that Chris Hero will be nobody's hero, at least not for 16 months (curse you Adam Ryland!), so tonight, he's using the soul brother like no other Rudy Ray Smith as a stepping stone to greatness. Apparently he didn't read the fine print on his contract, because there is nothing great about being in XPW. Ask London. Just make sure to take the gag off his mouth so he can talk. OVERALL:58%. Crocodile Dupree debuted his new (outback) gimmick. Not to a positive or negative response. His debut was just met with complete and total apathy. Kind of like every edition of RAW lately. THE AMAZING RACE WAR Crocodile Dupree vs Rudy Ray Smith. Match Background: This match is for the XPW Television title. Crocodile Dupree has been XPW Television champion since 19 October 2003. The Match: Rudy Ray is a glutton for punishment and just continues to take it during this match. Rudy Ray counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face and hit a clothesline! Rudy Ray Smith hits Croc. The ref is bumped, as goes down after accidentally getting caught by an elbow to the face. Rudy Ray Smith scores with a poor standing spinebuster. Cover, but there's no one to count for Rudy Ray Smith! Croc reverses a waistlock. Croc slams Rudy Ray Smith down and motions to the crowd. Spear by Crocodile Dupree. Hooks the leg for a two count. DEATH VALLEY DRIVAH~! by Crocodile Dupree just KILLS Rudy Ray Smith! Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Rudy Ray kicks Crocodile Dupree in the gut to reverse the momentum. Weak bodyslam by Rudy Ray. Pin, but Croc is out just before the three count. Croc backdrops Rudy Ray Smith out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Crocodile Dupree. Crocodile Dupree floors Rudy Ray Smith. Here it comes...Croc Lock! Rudy Ray Smith taps! My Opinion: Sadly, a 1\2* match. Apparently Dames needs to be hired by Miss Cleo , since he seemed to know that Rudy Ray was a glutton for punishment right off the bat. Too bad Rudy was the one on offense for 75% of the match. It's called suspense, Dames. I'm not saying XPW is Hitchcockian or anything, but throw me a frickin' bone here! OVERALL:59 (59, 60). The XPW TV Title has gained in image. Crocodile Dupree is losing overness from his weak gimmick. Backstage, Zack Sommers and Sly Slater are trying to get a signal on the XPW monitor (re: UHF TV with a cracked screen that someone found outside the arena). It's not cable ready, so now there's no way they can catch any of the 500 Saved By The Bell reruns on TBS today. Konrad happens by, and mentions that he's got quite a few of them teenage tapes in his truck outside. Eh, those aren't the kind of tapes they want, Konrad. "Nah, it's all them shows from NBC, like The New Dreams or City Time...real good stuff ya know." The TSE are onto him...there were no New Dreams! Well, there woulda been had NBC not sold out to the Discovery Channel...WAITAMINUTE! Dunn and Marcos attack from behind, and lay out Zack and Sly, then stand above them and do the air guitar taunt, complete with badly overdubbed sound effects. Konrad high fives his boys on a job well done, and the three of them go off in search of the lost Cinderella bootlegs. OVERALL:57%. Everyone gained overness in this segment, somehow. THE MAIM EVENT: Marty Jannetty vs Steve Bradley. Match Background: This will be a ladder bout. This match is for the XPW King Of The Deathmatch title. Steve Bradley has been XPW King Of The Deathmatch champion since 20 October 2003. The Match: Steve Bradley hits some punches. How generic. Bradley rams Jannetty into the ladder. Fallaway slam by Steve Bradley puts down Marty Jannetty. BAAACK Body drop by Jannetty gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Marty Jannetty once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. Marty Jannetty dives off the middle of the ladder with a clothesline that connects. Super kick by Marty Jannetty. Bradley ducks a wild right hand. Jannetty walks into a side slam. Think about how much talent it takes to side slam someone. Nash can do it. Spear! Jannetty is down! Steve Bradley misses a clothesline. STIFF high kick on Bradley by Marty Jannetty. Jannetty walks into a drop toe hold. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Marty Jannetty by Bradley. Remember when that was a legit finish? Steve Bradley moves in for the kill. Roll The Dice! Steve Bradley sets the ladder up and climbs it, grabbing the prize for the victory. Kaos comes running down the aisle, and gets into the ring! Kaos slams Bradley down. Kaos climbs to the top rope and hits the Kaostrify! Steve Bradley has been left down on the canvas. My Opinion: *1/4 rating. Don't be upset. There are people in third world countries who can barely afford one star, let alone one and a quarter. Don't mention XPW in the same breath as third world countries. Do you think all the stars of Facial Harmony have their green cards? The Kaos/Bradley feud drags on, and apparently Bradley sees the end drawing near, as he PM'd me to work with someone else soon. Know what he said? "How about putting me against someone like Avenging Disco Angel, since we both have similar styles." Either Bradley has finally (and rightfully) been turned off by Lizzy's skanktacular self, or Angel's living a lie. Hey, if you've gotta pretend to be gay to save yourself, so be it. It worked for Jack Tripper. It was also much more funnier. At least intentionally. OVERALL:63 (57,69). The KODM Title gained in overness. OVERALL:57%. .14 rating 336 people $6720 So despite holding a large event (and not a PPV, thus robbing me of revenue) and signing a few written contracts, I still managed to turn a profit this month, allowing me to continue on with this diary at least another month for your reading enjoyment. Abyss turned 28. His underwear turned 9.

I've been reading man, and it's good. While Deacon and myself have taken XPW and played it for laughs, you're actually trying to do something with it. I'm looking forward to seeing how far you come with them in the game.

The tag title match is a no-go due to some other angles. Matt, Ragdoll and Axel can have a Triple Threat, AND you can do the other matchup too, What? Figure out who's writing which segs and make sure they're in by Wed. night.

So does IWA-MS' Jimmy Jacobs. He actually copies Berzerker mannerisms as part of his gimmick.