Zack Malibu

ARGH~! Damn this game. I'm not used to the fact that events are not always at the end of the month now, so guess who had a PPV...scratch that, since I didn't realize it was this week, I had a LARGE EVENT. ARGH~! XPW Fallout (Large Event) This entire event was booked on the fly. That's not just a quip either. Lizzy was out of paper, so she just grabbed what was right in front of her. Steve Bradley now has tonight's match list embedded on the crotch of his 501's. Hosted by Jon Ian and Chris English Before the show can get underway, Crocodile Dupree is out. He's going to make this short and sweet, mate: he wants to challenge Chris Hero for the XPW Television Title later tonight. Hero makes his way out, and says that he's going to offer Dupree and Hero's Welcome into XPW. Dupree's unsure of that...his last "welcoming commitee" consisted of Lizzy Borden, a feather duster and a midget named Elvin who had a handlebar moustache. He's still scarred from that, so just a match will do. OVERALL:54%. Crocodile Dupree lost overness from this segment. HEY, WE'RE FEUDING SO LETS MAKE THIS SHOW MEAN SOMETHING MATCH FOR THE XPW WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES: Ring Crew Express vs Teen Show Express. Match Background: Teen Show Express and Ring Crew Express have been feuding recently. This match is for the XPW Tag Team titles. Ring Crew Express have been XPW Tag Team champions since 28 September 2003. The Match: Dropkick connects to the BUTT of the jaw and Zack goes down. Dunn hits a rolling kick on Zack. Konnan has ruined any chance for me ever enjoying this maneuver again with his shitty execution of it. There's a two count on the pin. Tag to Marcos. Ring Crew Express hook up Zack, then hit a double suplex. Covers for a quick two count. Marcos hits a soaring kick on Zack. Zack Sommers avoids a Marcos avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Lightning kick by Zack on Marcos. There's a two count on the pin. Zack tags out to Sly Slater. Back heel kick from Sly on Marcos but it misses by miles. Pin, but Marcos is out just before the three count. Marcos takes a hard, stinging chop from Sly. One word: Ow. Marcos elbows Sly Slater in the face to break a hammerlock. Sly takes a hard, stinging chop from Marcos. One word: Ow. Tag to Dunn. Spinning back kick from Dunn. Tag between Sly Slater and Zack Sommers. Zack takes a flying neckbreaker from Dunn. Dunn has Zack Sommers down on the canvas and is ascending the corner. Off the top - All Dunn, forget about it. 1....2...3! Ring Crew Express signal to each other...and they attack Teen Show Express! After an swift brawl, Zack and Sly are left down in the ring. My Opinion: Not good enough to earn an entire star. 3/4* for you. This feud reminds me of the feud between the Midnight Express and the Rock N' Roll Express. You know, because both teams have "Express" in their names. OK, now I'm really stretching. I might as well throw Federal Express in their as well, because if you squint, their deliveryman looks like Bobby Eaton. OVERALL:56 (42, 70). The XPW World Tag Team Titles have gained in image. The Four Whore's Men are backstage to warn Kaos that he's got no idea what he's gotten into. Actually, the feud is about what Kaos HASN'T gotten into guys, namely Lizzy's nether region. Only in XPW would a guy be targetted by heels for NOT getting the girl, or in Lizzy's case "fucking the dirty bitch who looks like Courtney Love after being hit in the face with an anvil". Graphic depiction, but we're firm believers in truth in advertising. OVERALL:71%. Jonny C. gained overness from this segment. THEY'VE BEEN ON TV A TOTAL OF THREE TIMES BUT THEY'RE FIGHTING FOR THE XPW TELEVISION TITLE: Crocodile Dupree vs Chris Hero. Match Background: Hero and Croc are currently feuding. Neither has managed to get an in-ring victory in this feud. This match is for the XPW Television title. Chris Hero has been XPW Television champion since 06 October 2003. The Match: Hero takes a headbutt from Crocodile Dupree. STIFF~! chop lights up Hero who covers up to try and stop the agonizing PAIN! Fallaway slam by Crocodile Dupree puts down Chris Hero. Bodyslam by Croc. Chris Hero once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. Bodyslam by Hero. Massive back suplex! Crocodile Dupree got snapped in half, but not literally because that would just end the match now wouldn't it. Hooks the leg for a two count. Croc blocks a kick from Chris Hero. Massive backbreaker on Hero and I get happy flashbacks to Bret Hart's Five Moves of DOOM. Covers for a quick two count. High Angle DDT by Crocodile Dupree just SPIKES Chris Hero down! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Chris Hero powers out of a Crocodile Dupree headlock. Hero drives a HARD forearm into the chest of Croc. Croc blocks a punch. Croc slams Chris Hero down and motions to the crowd. Chris Hero slams Croc, who rolls onto his stomach. What is Crocodile Dupree doing? Chris Hero picks him up and signals for a powerbomb. He raises Croc up...but then falls backward, getting crushed by his opponent in the process! Crocodile Dupree is on top! 1....2....3! Looking at the replay, it appears that Croc had taken a chain out of his tights and wrapped it around his fist! Chris Hero must have been punched with that chain while in mid-powerbomb! What a cheap shot! Crocodile Dupree slides out of the ring to the floor, then turns and leaves through the crowd. He's happy to have the win, and evidently isn't going to hang around for Hero to get some payback. My Opinion: I'll give a 1\2* rating because they were actually able to hit a couple of spots. Well gee, Dames, do you THINK he hit him in mid-move, or could it have been a Jedi Mindtrick? Crocodile Dupree gets a title his first match in the promotion, and if that doesn't say "he'll be shoved down your throats on each and every show from now on" then I don't know how I can spell it out for you. OVERALL:58% (53, 63). The XPW Television Title has gained in image. Marty Jannetty, the XPW King of the Deathmatch Champion, is out as a guest on The C-Breeze. Jonny takes pleasure in mocking Jannetty, saying his recent wins are the only things that are clean about him. Jannetty's not sure what he's trying to say, so Jonny makes it clear that he frowns on his drug use. That's fine with Marty, just more for him. Marty goes to leave, as this party has gotten lame, when Jonny spins him back around. Jonny accuses him of being a poser, saying that he "snorts chalk". "THAT HAPPENED ONCE WHEN I WAS BROKE!" Jannetty yells, and it's ON, because we've got another segment to fill! OVERALL:58%. Both men gained overness from this segment. IMPROMPTU TABLES MATCH FOR THE XPW KING OF THE DEATHMATCH TITLE: Marty Jannetty vs Jonny C.. Match Background: This will be a tables bout. This match is for the XPW King Of The Deathmatch title. Marty Jannetty has been XPW King Of The Deathmatch champion since 28 September 2003. The Match: Jannetty just WAFFLES Jonny C. with a STIFF chop that hurt ME to watch! Marty Jannetty goes to suplex Jonny C. through a table, but he slips out the backdoor. Second rope flying axe handle, Jonny C. goes down. One day, Jannetty might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Jannetty uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Jonny C. reverses a waistlock. Jonny C. pulls Jannetty onto the table for a powerbomb, but he uses a backdrop to get out of the predicament. Big piledriver on Jannetty. Marty Jannetty pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Spinning bulldog in the corner and Jonny C. is down! Tor-NADO DDT from Marty Jannetty, Jonny C. got planted! Jonny C. is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Jonny C. connects with rights and lefts and Marty Jannetty is down! Jonny C. drops an elbow...but Marty Jannetty moves out of the way. Marty Jannetty hits a rolling kick on Jonny C.. Konnan has ruined any chance for me ever enjoying this maneuver again with his shitty execution of it. Jannetty throws Jonny C. onto the table, climbs to the top rope...and uses a flying elbow drop to collapse the table and pick up a victory. My Opinion: Not good enough to earn an entire star. 3/4* for you. Jannetty learned (re:stole) that elbow from Shawn Michaels. Jonny C. was starting to gain overness with every segment he was in, so I had to feed him to one of my older, experienced stars who are just broken down versions of their former selves. Hey, just like WWE! OVERALL:57 (49,66). The KODM Title has gained in image. Lizzy Borden and Steve Bradley are alone in the Head Bitch's office. Guess what they're doing? This whole segment was just to drive home the fact that Lizzy is a slut. A big slut. Who likes to fuck. Constantly. Endlessly. Anally. Hey, we planned on this show being on PPV, you can get away with everything on there. OVERALL:43%. Steve Bradley loses overness from this segment. THROWN TOGETHER TAG MATCH TO FURTHER A FEUD: Kaos and Danny Doring vs Steve Bradley and Abyss. Match Background: This is a continuation of the Kaos vs Bradley feud. The Match: Second rope flying axe handle, Abyss goes down. One day, Kaos might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Kaos crushes Abyss with a huge legdrop. There's a two count on the pin. Tag between Kaos and Danny Doring. Doring \ Kaos whip Abyss into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Big dropkick by Danny Doring, who got a ton of air on the move. Covers for a quick two count. Doring drives a HARD forearm into the chest of Abyss. Doring drops an elbow...but Abyss moves out of the way. Abyss scores with a standing spinebuster. Abyss tags out to Steve Bradley. Fallaway slam by Steve Bradley puts down Danny Doring. Big piledriver on Doring. Danny Doring fights out of a grapple. Doring tags out to Kaos. Bradley takes a NICE hurrancarana from Kaos. DDT from the top rope by Kaos. That looked KILLER. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Kaos hits a HARD spinning kick to the jaw. Kaos gets taken down out of nowhere! Spinebuster by Steve Bradley. Kaos is in trouble. Here it comes - Roll The Dice. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: *1/4 rating. Don't be upset. There are people in third world countries who can barely afford one star, let alone one and a quarter. Kaos gets taken down "out of nowhere", then falls victim to a spinebuster and Test's finisher? Well if Bradley can work WWE style on my shows, why in the hell did he never get the callup? Probably because he wasn't banging any McMahons. Why do you think he throws Lizzy the meat missle every chance he gets? Well, being that this is XPW, he'd probably be getting a push anyways, but don't tell him that. Karma (and by karma I mean genital sores) will catch up with him later. OVERALL:62 (54, 71). MIGHT AS WELL TRY AND GET SOMETHING GOOD OUT OF THIS SHOW: Paul London vs Juvi Guerrera vs Psychosis. Match Background: This will be an elimination bout. This match is for the XPW World title. Paul London has been XPW World champion since 28 September 2003. The Match: Dropkick connects to the BUTT of the jaw and London goes down. Psychosis hits a HARD spinning kick to the jaw. London blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! Psychosis takes a flying neckbreaker from Paul London. Spinning bulldog in the corner and London is down! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Second rope flying axe handle, Juvi goes down. One day, Psychosis might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Psychosis charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. London \ Juvi whip Psychosis into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Vicious kick to the teeth from Paul London. Cover gets three for Paul London, Psychosis got pinned. Flying reverse elbow by Paul London. London drops an elbow...but Juvi Guerrera moves out of the way. Vicious kick to the teeth from Juvi Guerrera. There's a two count on the pin. Juvi goes for a splash but London puts the knees up. Flying reverse elbow by Paul London. Marty Jannetty comes running down the aisle and onto the apron! Juvi turns...and is dropped throat-first onto the top rope by Jannetty! Marty Jannetty has left Juvi in big trouble. Juvi Guerrera gets knocked to the ground by London, who is already climbing the turnbuckle. Off the top - London Calling, forget about it. 1....2...3! My Opinion: *** rating for an above average match. The Mexicans had a problem with London trying to escape to their homeland. They don't like no gringos messing with their tequila, or their women. Or in Juvi's case, men. We think. So the Mexicans gets used simply for their labor, while the man who wishes he was elsewhere gets tackled to the floor and knocked out with a ragfull of ether. Is Jim Cornette booking for me now? Nah, it's one of the few ways we can keep him subdued long enough to get the shackles on. OVERALL:76 (69, 84). The XPW World Title has gained overness. 60% overall. $43620 made from 1454 people who thought they were coming to see a Peter, Paul and Mary concert.

XPW Monday Nightmare for October 13, 2003 Jonny C. of the Four Whore's Men is here to open up the show this week with his interview segment The C-Breeze. This week's guests are scheduled to be Howie Mandel, Steve Guttenberg, and the music of Ray Parker Jr. Because when you need celebs on the cheap, who ya gonna call? Thumbs up, cheap pop there Jonny. Too bad you're supposed to be a heel. Unfortunately the celebs cancelled, so Jonny had to find someone of notoriety on the XPW roster, and has chosen the newly crowned XPW Television Champion, Chris Hero. Chris doesn't exactly get a Hero's welcome, as the fans are still unsure of whether to latch onto my latest push. Before the champ can either advance himself up the card or kill himself dead in the water, he's jumped from behind by...Steve Irwin? NO! NO! IT'S CROCODILE DUPREE~! Croc bludgeons Hero with a boomerang, and then tosses the evidence into the crowd...and it comes right back around and nails Jonny C. in the forehead. Hey, at least it gives Dupree open opportunity with the mic. The WWA? couldn't handle the Down Underworld, but Dupree will not be denied again. When all is said and done, his name will be up there alongside such Aussie luminaries as Russel Crowe, Mel Gibson, and Yahoo Serious. OVERALL:66%. Jonny C. and Chris Hero both gained overness due to the awesome charismatic powers of Crocodile Dupree~! Avenging Disco Angel and Rudy Ray Smith vs Youthanazia. Match Background: None. The Match: Angel hits a right hand. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Matt Cross by Angel. Remember when that was a legit finish? Death valley driver by Avenging Disco Angel! No one executes that move properly anymore. Cross tags out to Josh Prohibition. STIFF high kick on Angel by Josh Prohibition. Avenging Disco Angel reverses a hip toss. Forearm to the face from Angel on JP. Tag between Avenging Disco Angel and Rudy Ray Smith. Avenging Disco Angel scoops up JP. Rudy Ray bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. Rudy Ray Smith DDTs JP, but it just looked terrible. Rudy Ray DDTs Josh Prohibition. Rudy Ray tags out to Avenging Disco Angel. Josh Prohibition can barely stand. Here it comes - Circumsizer. 1....2...3, it's finished. Youthanazia look like they aren't done...and they attack Angel \ Rudy Ray! After an exchange of blows, Angel and Rudy Ray are laid out in the ring. My Opinion: Not good enough to earn an entire star. 3/4* for you. Hey, I'd fight back if a blatant homosexual circumsized me in front of milli...thous...the people we paid to fill the arena. And by arena I mean "wharehouse on a loading dock" and by people I mean "dock workers, hookers and hobos". Only in XPW can Josh and Matt, two whitebread boys if there ever were, get away with a bona fide hate crime. However the same can be said for our shows...in some cultures they're used as a form of torture. Lizzy thinks thats kinky. Oh, and if you're wondering what's up with the name change for Angel, it's because tag team partners have to blend. No way was Soul Brutha Smith going to start wearing pink leopard thongs and belly shirts, uh uh. He undresses da ho's, he don't dress like 'em. OVERALL:53 (38,69). Kaos is in the back with XTC. Better not announce that to everyone in earshot, kid. Marty Jannetty is liable to tackle you to the ground and go all Tito Ortiz on you for that shit. Oops, XTC is Kaos' new valet. Given the track record of most women in this company, you're better off with the drugs. Kaos and XTC promise Steve Bradley that their feud is far from over, which makes Bradley happy. He hasn't gotten this much attention since his feud with Kwee Wee after the WCW buyout. OVERALL: 49%. XTC gained overness from this segment. HARDCORE THREE WAY THAT LIZZY BORDEN IS NOT INVOLVED IN FOR THE XPW KING OF THE DEATHMATCH TITLE Marty Jannetty vs Abyss vs Steve Bradley. Match Background: This will be a hardcore bout. This match is for the XPW King Of The Deathmatch title. Marty Jannetty has been XPW King Of The Deathmatch champion since 28 September 2003. The Match: Trying to channel the spirit of Misawa, Steve Bradley ends up chanelling Lex Luger instead and nails a running forearm to the face, minus the steel plate, of course. Steve Bradley hits some punches. How generic. Marty Jannetty reverses a hip toss. Hip toss onto a chair by Jannetty! Spear by Abyss. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Fallaway slam by Steve Bradley puts down Abyss. Abyss backdrops Steve Bradley out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Abyss. Jannetty \ Abyss hook up Bradley, then hit a double suplex. Bradley walks into a face crusher variation. Has anyone's face ever really been crushed by one though? Chair shot connects! Marty Jannetty is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Jannetty uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Kaos comes running down the aisle with a chair! Jannetty and Steve Bradley continue fighting, unaware of the intrusion. Kaos slides in and blasts Steve Bradley with a chair to the head! Kaos climbs out of the ring, the damage done! Marty Jannetty moves in for the kill. Rocker Dropper! 1....2....3. My Opinion: Nothing special...nothing special at all. *1/4 I don't really think Dames is buying this stuff as the finish. I just think he's crossing his fingers, praying for the matches to end while his corneas die a slow death as he's stuck watching this pap. Bradley channeling the spirit of Lex Luger doesn't sound so good for his career...or Lizzy's well being. Jannetty's in the pink though...now he's got a new dealer! OVERALL:63 (54, 72). The King of the Deathmatch Title gained overness from this match. RAN FOR THE BORDER VS. SOUTH OF THE BORDER Paul London vs Psychosis. Match Background: This match is for the XPW World title. Paul London has been XPW World champion since 28 September 2003. The Match: London hits a HARD spinning kick to the jaw. Paul London connects with a back heel kick on Psychosis and gets back up quickly. Second rope flying axe handle, Psychosis goes down. One day, London might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Implant DDT by Paul London! I will always and forever mark out for that move. Psychosis blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! Hard back suplex on London. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. Super kick by Psychosis. Hooks the leg for a two count. London powers out of a headlock. London crushes Psychosis with a running senton. Hooks the leg for a two count. Springboard dropkick from Paul London. Nicely done. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Psychosis blocks a kick from Paul London. Psychosis just WAFFLES London with a STIFF chop that hurt ME to watch! Psychosis charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Implant DDT by Paul London! I will always and forever mark out for that move. The bell rings. The referee declares that the time limit has expired, and the match is a draw. My Opinion: They definitely need to hook up again, I don't care what anyone says. ***1\2 Waffles...chops...eats boot...think Dames was getting hungry during this show? Heat up some Hot Pockets or something, Damian. Luckily for those who care about workrate in this company, London was recaptured by customs agents at the Mexican border. Turns out he grabbed Jannetty's bag by mistake, and let's just say that the border guards had a hell of a party while London was locked up with some drunk guy in a sombrero who babbled about Maury Povich being the root of all evil. Well you don't have to be drunk to realize that, do you? OVERALL:77 (65, 90). The XPW World Title has gained overness from this match. 62% Overall .14 rating 346 people with $6920 in ticket sales. Thanks to everyone for the PPV suggestions, they'll most likely all get used. Any other feud ideas, hirings, gimmicks, etc. let me know. Feedback both positive and negative is appreciated.

I'm not going to even attempt to draw logic from this. I'm just glad that my leg was not the one humped. At least IDRM distracted YNA long enough for me to win. I did win, right?

Sounds like they showed a lot of old, useless stuff (Kristi Myst, Abdullah and Sabu). They should have focused on more of the recent XPW angles from the Philly shows, etc. People ordering this may expect to see Kaos, Kronus, Rizzono, Damien Steel, Myst, etc. on future shows, when truth is they've all been gone for some time now. Also, if they wanted to use Kaos footage (which I don't really fault them for since he really was one of the lone highlights in the company) they should have shown The Enterprise as a whole, since the whole stable was really over during their heyday. Maybe have the PPV air bumpers before each segment showing if it's older or new footage as to not confuse new fans.

All right...I have an offer as to who will write the match. Now, who wants to be in it!? I've figured anyone who is open can be entered in it, and you can pull double duty if you'd like. Please let me know ASAP.

They're probably playing the party tonight, with Evad Sullivan jumping out of the cake.

And they're surely having a grand old time chugging Rogaine and popping Viagra while Jimmy Hart wails on the karoake machine.

I've got one of those stickers, actually. Dad was a fireman for 26 years. Not that I need it, I'm a pretty cautious driver due to nearly getting killed by a friend racing her car with me in it, and flipping it over. This was back in '97, and dangling upside down held in place by your seatbelt is not a fun way to spend Sat. night.

::A small cloud of dust rises, a la Wile E. Coyote. From under the piano, Zack shakes his fist at Caboose.::

DH, the Classic DVD set is a compilation of footage mainly from the USWA, GWF, UWF, etc. I just got it from work, and the only DVD I've watched is the Booker T. one, so I can't judge on any others, but the Austin DVD supposedly contains matches from his feud with Chris Adams, which was the feud that "made" him as an upstart heel. I'll let you know the entire listings later from work should I get a shot.

I wouldn't call the Dragon a gimmick, just a nickname. It was only made into a gimmick during the '90's WWF run where he wore that stupid costume and did the fire spitting.

I wouldn't say young, but I would say underutilized. Same for Daniels (who's in his mid 30's I think).

Nope, it was Charles/Chuck. I've got a PWI here at work where it talks about it.

Ted Weddy has already advanced. The only tourney match this week is Axel vs. CWM, which CWM has written already. Next week it'll be Rando vs. Zero. What?-make sure your ass gets something in. Bitch. Also, for those unsure of what to do for the show, we hope to have the 24/7 battle royal on it. Check the other thread on it for details.

And since he wants you to be his bitch, you have to dig your own grave as well.

::Throws banana peel in Caboose's path. Hilarity ensues.::

Chuck Austin, actually. Chad Austin was an ECW jobber in the mid 90's.

I'm going to go old school here. The British Bulldog turn back in '95 on Diesel during a tag match on RAW shocked the living hell out of me. At the time I was getting the Observer, etc. so I was smartened up to most things. Still, I remember coming home, watching the tape, and just sitting their in awe that Davey Boy Smith of all people had turned heel.

::CWM has ruled so much that everyone was afraid to post here the last few days.::

Parak's right, we're sticking with the original plan.

How is a towel over your head stealing a gimmick? I guess Tyson, Lewis, Bowe, Jones Jr. and any other boxer/MMA fighter who has a towel over their head during an entrance could sue for gimmick infringment then. At any rate...feed Goldberg to Kane. Build it up, have it look like Goldberg might stand a shot (take Kane out with a spear, but then have him sit up, etc.). My only concern is that now with Booker T. out with an injury, RVD and Goldberg are really the only faces with fan interest on RAW. It's probably only a matter of time before Kane's escapades turn him into the anti-hero face.

Have a ladder match, have Kazarian win it, but then have Sabin pull the "you never pinned me" card out on Kazarian. Then maybe start a double turn by Kazarian ducking a rematch, be a chickenshit champion, while Sabin goes face and chases him for a rematch. Feed Kazarian a few of the lowercard X guys (Jason Cross, Jimmy Rave, etc.) and then have the rematch where Sabin gets it back. Have Shane win the tourney as a heel, and feud he and Sabin.

Actually rumor has it that Marty was due to get a big push out of the Rockers breakup, but his demons prevented him from doing so.

Insubordination, eh? The kids got spunk.

He's all yours. Funny how I get Candi, seeing as how I used to date a girl with that exact name...hey, whaddya know, it's her! Guess she's got tuition to pay.