Zack Malibu

Also, he was on Mind of Mencia last week, and apparently they did a SBTB riff. I didn't see it, but caught the commercial during South Park.

The fans in the arena, having mellowed since the prior encounter, start to cheer once again, as a wire is lowered from the ceiling of the arena. At the end of the wire resides the HI-YAH Heavyweight Championship, and taped to the back of the belt is a contract, one that guarantees one of the competitors in this next contest a chance at championship gold at a point they see fit in the future. COLE It has been electric here tonight, and that electricity is going to continue to surge through this crowd, as they eagerly await what promises to be a spectactular match. Six men, all vying for not one, but two prizes. The HI-YAH Heavyweight Championship, as well as a guaranteed OAOAST World Title shot later in the year. CABOOSE Bill Watts dubbed this match "Two For The Money", and the name couldn't be more appropriate, because I'm positive we'll get our money's worth. COACH No doubt, 'boose, because you've got three of the youngest, hungriest superstars in the world today in the form of Jamie O'Hara, and Scotty Static and Johnny Jax, whose resume speaks for themselves. COLE There's no denying that O'Hara is well on his way to rookie of the year status, and the Global Party Exchange have always been a force. Combine that with the hungry and well-traveled duo of James Blonde and Faqu, as well as the defending champion, one of the very best in the world today, Zack Malibu, and this match has classic written all over it. CABOOSE Let's not forget one very important factor...for five of these men, it's all win, no lose. However, Zack needs to try the hardest out of anyone to win this contest, because he DOES have something to lose, namely that HI-YAH strap. COLE It's a first time ever matchup for the OAOAST, and it all gets underway at Anglemania V, RIGHT NOW! *DING DING DING* The fans are still buzzing, as Michael Buffer re-enters the ring, and stands at the center, just under where the HI-YAH belt dangles in the air. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest, is the special TWO FOR THE MONEY match, for both a future OAOAST World Title Shot, as well as the HI-YAH Heavyweight Championship! Post-announcement, the sound of O-Town's pop anthem "Make Her Say" kicks in, and a team that just one year ago got one of the loudest positive receptions of the evening now receive the exact opposite. It's loud, but it's certainly not positive, as Scotty Static and Johnny Jax make their way down the aisle. BUFFER Introducing first, from Hotlanta, GA and Detroit, MI respectively, they are Scotty Static and Johnny Jax, the GLOBAL PARTY EXCHANGE! The tag partners, who will have to put their friendship behind them tonight, hop up on the apron and enter the ring. Static walks across the ring and nods to Coach, then points to the belt and makes the "belt around his waist" motion...and Johnny catches him. When Scotty turns around, Johnny stares him down for a second before looking up, then looking back at his partner and mouthing "mine". COLE Some tension right off the bat here with the GPX! COACH Stop making double D's outta A-cups my man, they know what they have to do if they wanna win. Nothin' but love in our crew, homey! The GPX break apart and circle the ring as their music fades, only to be replaced with the theme song of another star aligned with them. COLE Well, like the song says, this could be his "one shot", so let's see what Jamie O'Hara can make of it! BUFFER Coming down the aisle, from Birmingham, England, this is JAAAAAAAAMIE OOOOOOOOOOO'HARAAAAAAAAAAAAA! "Lose Yourself" is the soundtrack for O'Hara's trek to the ring, and the thuggish youngster does his gangsta walk down the aisle, throwing up the deuce for the camera as he blows past. He gets up on the apron and slingshots himself over the ropes with a flip, landing on his feet and then immediately backflipping before strutting across the ring and removing his hat, tossing it out into the crowd. O'Hara turns around and comes face to face with Scotty and Johnny, perhaps the two people he's closest with in the company, and now O'Hara looks upward at what's at stake, and then just grins smugly to his two friends. Bickering ensues amidst the Upstarts contingent, but when "My Own Summer" starts up, they all take note of who is approaching. COLE I've got to admit, I never thought I'd see the day that James Blonde and Faqu were in an Anglemania contest, nevermind one of this magnitude! CABOOSE They started out as a team that didn't get along, but refused to go their seperate ways because they knew they brought out the best in each other. Now tonight as opponents, they're hoping to do the same thing! BUFFER The next participants, coming down the aisle, first from Dallas, TX, "Strong Stylin'" JAAAAAAAAMES BLONDE! And from Honolulu, HI, this is the "Samoan Tsunami", FAAAAAAAQUUUUU! Blonde and Faqu come out focused, walking slowly to the ring as a pair, while Static, Jax, and O'Hara watch on. The odd couple pairing each climb up into the ring, and are greeted as soon as they come through the ropes by the three Upstarts, who use the numbers advantage to begin a beatdown before the match is even officially underway! COACH See, you thought they might be intimidated, but my boys jumped at the chance to take on Blonde and Faqu tonight! CABOOSE Pun intended? COACH You know it, daddy. The crowd boos loudly as the three-on-two ensues. O'Hara takes Blonde by the head and sends him through the ropes and to the floor, while the GPX send Faqu to the ropes, only for the big man to come back with a thunderous double clothesline! He cocks his head to the side and notices O'Hara, who backpedals as fast as he can, hopping out of the ring and begging off, until the sounds of Papa Roach booming over the speakers make him realize that the aisleway isn't a safe place. COLE Listen to these fans! CABOOSE I can't listen to anything over these fans! COACH ... As "Getting Away With Murder" hits, Malibu makes his entrance, powerwalking down the aisle towards Jamie O'Hara! O'Hara turns around and is all "oh shit" and slides back into the ring...coming up right in front of the big angry Samoan! Faqu grabs Jamie by the throat, then hooks the arm and biels him across the ring, while the defending HI-YAH champion starts trading fists with Scotty Static at ringside! COLE Malibu hasn't even taken off his entrance gear yet, but we are already underway! CABOOSE Did the be... *DING DING DING* CABOOSE Nevermind, there's my answer! The Two For The Money match is now officially underway, and all six men are engaged in combat. Zack disposes of Static after a flurry of right hands, and then takes off his vest and throws it down before taking Scotty and sending him into the guardrail. Back in the ring, Faqu sends Jamie O'Hara to the corner, but when he charges in Jamie kicks both feet up, nailing Faqu in the chin! He runs out of the corner and tries a bulldog, but Faqu plants his feet, and O'Hara winds up taking the bump on his ass, then feels some major back pain as Faqu charges and delivers a hard soccer kick between the shoulder blades! From behind, Johnny Jax attacks, striking Faqu with a forearm and then turning him around before blasting him with a European uppercut, and then a hard chop. Jax then hits the ropes, but James Blonde leaps up and grabs the top rope, sending Jax spilling down to the floor, but then O'Hara charges him, and hits a dropkick that puts him down on the floor as well! O'Hara then turns around and see Faqu again, so he hits the ropes, then baseball slides through Faqu's legs...and gets yanked out of the ring by Malibu, who then hits him with an inverted atomic drop before whipping him into Scotty, sandwiching Static between O'Hara and the guardrail! Malibu then starts rooting around under the ring, lifting up the apron, and moments later finds what he was looking for, revealing the first ladder of the contest! COLE Zack Malibu's not wasting any time! As Malibu climbs into the ring, Faqu grabs the ladder and props it up...then hits Malibu with a kick to the midsection as he gets closer! Faqu delivers two stiff chops, sending Malibu reeling backwards, then tries to send him to the ropes...NO! Malibu counters by swinging back to face Faqu, and delivers a kick to the gut before trying for a DDT...but the powerful Samoan overcomes the attempt by driving Zack back to the ropes...and both of them spill through the ropes to the floor. HARD. CABOOSE The concrete is very unforgiving, but even more so when you have a near 300 pound Samoan landing on top of you! Taking advantage of the empty ring, Jax slides in and heads for the ladder immediately, racing up the rungs...until Blonde enters the ring as well and grabs him by the ankles, yanking him down to the canvas! Jax lands on his feet and nails Blonde with a forearm, who fires one back, and then takes Johnny's head and rams it into the ladder! Blonde then sends Jax to the ropes and catches him on the rebound, pressing him up over his head...but out of nowhere Static comes into the ring and pulls Jax down out of Blonde's grasp! The fan favorite is stunned, and when he turns around both GPX members lift him up horizontally, then drop him downward, right onto their knees with a double gutbuster! Jax then kicks Blonde and forces him out under the bottom rope...but while he's doing that, Scotty starts climbing the ladder! COLE Look at this, Static just bailed on his partner and is going for the gold! Jax turns around and snaps out of it, grabbing Scotty and yanking him down, asking him what he thinks he's doing...and Scotty pushes back! Jax then pushes Static, and now the two partners are nose to nose...which allows O'Hara to roll in unnoticed and start climbing for the belt! CABOOSE If they don't pay attention, they're not going to notice until it's too late! O'Hara is halfway up the ladder when Static notices, and he immediately starts climbing to cut O'Hara off...but Jax pulls him off and then clocks him with a punch before climbing up after their opponent-slash-friend! He makes it up and knocks O'Hara's hand away as it reaches for the belt, but Jamie fights back with some wild rights, and as they duel on top of the ladder, a frustrated Static gets up and pushes the ladder over, sending both men falling along with it...and both men crotching themselves on the top rope! "Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!" COACH Oh man, I hate seeing my boys do this to one another! CABOOSE You're the only one. They've spent months going after everyone else in the company, but now they've got to battle themselves if they want what's at stake! Static now takes the ladder and folds it up, then holds it horizontally...and runs it into both O'Hara and Jax, knocking them off the ropes and down to the floor! Static steps back, but before he can turn around, Zack rushes into the ring and hits a German suplex on him...while he's still holding the ladder! The metal hardware goes flying, but Zack is quick to retrieve it and set it up. Suddenly, Blonde slides back in, and runs at Zack, who turns around just in time to catch a lariat from...NO! Zack ducks, and Blonde winds up connecting with a lariat to the metal siding of the ladder, causing it to teeter but not topple! Blonde immediately begins favoring the arm, and Zack takes full advantage of this, dropping him with a single arm DDT that has Blonde rolling away in agony! COLE Blonde's arm could be in a bad way after slamming it into the ladder, and it made him easier to dispose of for Zack to make a play for the gold now! Malibu braces the ladder, but he's only on the first step before Blonde's partner returns to the ring and hits a thunderous chop to Zack's back! He yanks Zack off and rocks him with another hard chop, this one to the chest, but Malibu fights back with a European uppercut! He then takes Faqu and shoots him to the ropes, but Faqu switches momentum and sends Zack in...but Zack wraps his arms around the top rope! Faqu then comes barreling towards Zack, so Malibu drops his head and dumps the big man over...but Faqu lands on the apron! CABOOSE Deceiving agility from the big man! Faqu reaches over and takes Zack by the head and runs him towards the turnbuckle, but Zack puts a foot up to block, then delivers a forearm while holding Faqu's head that stuns him enough to leave him open for a ROARING ELBOW~! which knocks him off balance and to the floor! Groggily, Faqu begins to get up, so Malibu goes in motion, hitting the far ropes and gaining speed before launching himself through the ropes with a picture perfect tope that hits THE CAMERAMAN~?!?! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!" COACH YO~! CABOOSE Holy...Zack just took out the camera man! COLE We HAVE to see that again! I didn't think I was seeing what I was seeing when I saw it, so let's see it! A split-screen enables us to follow the live action of a groggy Faqu pulling Zack up off of the camera man, while the replay shows everything from the camera's point of view. Faqu was dazed and primed to be taken out by Zack's tope, but at the last second he ducked, and the camera man got an all too extreme close up of Malibu, as Zack drove himself right into him! COACH Malibu decided to get fancy, and now he's taken himself out of the contest, as well as taking out a camera man at the biggest event of the year! CABOOSE That's the risk for being at ringside, even cameramen! Faqu, having dragged Zack off the poor guy, thinks better of focusing on Malibu, and turns to the ring, where he sees Jamie O'Hara scurrying up the ladder! Faqu slides in and moves towards the ladder, grabbing it by the legs and pushing it over...but when he senses the ladder toppling O'Hara abandons ship and jumps off the rungs, landing on Faqu's shoulders and snapping him over with a huracanrana! COACH Atta way, J! Faqu pulls himself up in the corner, but it allows O'Hara to race towards the corner and leap his dimuntive frame into the air, driving both of his knees into the sternum of Faqu! He brings Faqu to the center of the ring and stuns him with some quick forearm shots, then prepares for a suplex, but there's no way little Jamie O'Hara can lift the big man! Still, Jamie struggles, but when Faqu begins to fight, he's blasted with a forearm across the back by Static, who helps O'Hara...NO! Faqu kicks his legs and shifts his weight downward so that he falls back on his feet, and this enables Blonde to come in and stun Static with some left handed jabs...until he's nailed from behind by Jax! The GPX and O'Hara now set up the duo of Blonde and Faqu for a double suplex, but now Malibu rolls himself into the ring and takes Jax by the head, and simultaneously the babyfaces execute a TRIPLE SUPLEX on the three Upstarts, rocking the ring AND the Atlantic City population in attendance! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" COLE A TRIPLE SUPLEX! THE FIRST OF ITS KIND! CABOOSE Last year I was one third of a triple superkick, but never in my life have I seen something like that! All aching from the united efforts of their foes, Static, Jax and O'Hara clear the ring, all rollling out to the floor for recovery. Blonde, Faqu, and Malibu all get up, and as soon as they do the duo of Blonde and Faqu double up on Zack! Each taking an arm, they send Zack across the ring and hit a double hiptoss, but as Zack is slammed to the canvas, Faqu targets his own partner, wrenching his wounded arm and then driving an elbow down on the bicep! Faqu then backs him up with chops and hard kicks to the upper leg area, before climaxing with a spinning back chop that knocks Blonde against the ropes! He staggers for a minute, but then his powerhouse partner charges forward, dumping him out to the floor with a clothesline over the top! COACH There's the breakdown in communication we've been waiting for! CABOOSE The first breakdown in communication tonight came from YOUR guys! Everyone involved is well aware of what's at stake! Faqu turns around, and seeing Zack come up with the aid of the ropes, delivers a lariat while Zack's back is turned, sending the reigning champion over the top and out to the floor. Alone in the ring, Faqu goes and takes the ladder that has been knocked over and pulls it off the ropes, standing it vertical once again under where the HI-YAH belt hangs. COLE He's cleared the ring, but can he claim the prize?! Faqu keeps climbing, making it about halfway up the ladder, pausing to see how much of a reach he has! He climbs up another step, but the hesitation costs him, as Jamie O'Hara springboards off the top rope and snares Faqu by the head, yanking him off the ladder and snapping him down with a springboard neckbreaker off the ladder! CABOOSE Good LORD he certainly spiked him with that one! COLE We're gonna see a lot of things that make us cringe, Caboose, and that's certainly going to be high up on the list! O'Hara stomps Faqu as he lay on the mat, feeling the effects of the neckbreaker. Looking to his right, he notices Scotty Static fumbling around under the apron, revealing another ladder, so he runs up to the top rope, then somersaults off the top turnbuckle, landing on top of Static just as he pulled the ladder free! As O'Hara takes one of his allies out, the other one slides another ladder into the ring. Jax comes in and sets it up, now putting two ladders in play, but before he can climb it he's snared in a rear waistlock by Malibu, who hoists him over with a German Suplex! Malibu keeps the waistlock applied and rolls through, hitting a second German, and rolls to his feet holding Jax by the waist once again. Jax struggles to free himself, and when O'Hara comes back in the ring and approaches, Jax leaps up and kicks O'Hara through the ropes and back out to the apron, using the momentum to float over Zack's shoulder! He starts to apply the Beat Drop, hoisting Zack up onto his shoulder with a pumphandle, but Malibu kicks his legs and frees himself, shoving Jax forward into a collision with O'Hara that knocks him off the apron, and sends Jax stumbling backwards into a release half-nelson suplex by Malibu! COLE Right on his head! COACH I hate this, Cole. I hate seeing my boys trying to hurt each other, but knowing that one of them is gonna be the HI-YAH Champion after this sorta makes it sweeter. CABOOSE You don't KNOW that one of them is going to win. The odds are 50/50 down the line for The Upstarts or Blonde, Faqu or Zack. COACH Be optimistic. CABOOSE I am. With Jax taken out of the equation, Malibu starts climbing up one of the ladders, moving as fast as he can. O'Hara scrambles to his feet and darts back into the ring, racing up the second ladder to cut Zack off and try to claim the title and title shot all for his own. Both men each get to the top of their respective ladders and start reaching, and as Zack reaches up for the gold, O'Hara kicks his ladder over, sending Zack teetering down...BUT MALIBU CATCHES HIS FOOT ON THE TOP ROPE AND PUSHES THE LADDER BACK UP! COLE AWESOME! O'Hara, stunned, lunges across the ladder tops with a swing at Zack, but Malibu leans back to avoid it, then grabs O'Hara's head and slams it into the top step! Zack then kicks Jamie's ladder over, but at the last second O'Hara leaps off the ladder, and grabs ahold of the wire that supports the HI-YAH Heavyweight Championship! COLE HE'S DANGLING IN MID-AIR! COACH GET THE BELT, J! UNSTRAP IT! CABOOSE If he unstraps the belt, he's going to fall 20 ft. down to the ring! The crowd gasps in shock as O'Hara dangles, kicking his legs and trying to get some footing on Zack's ladder, while Zack is reaching for the gold at the same time! Malibu tries to grab the belt, but O'Hara keeps kicking, deflecting all of Zack's attempts, and ultimately using the wire to swing himself onto Zack's shoulders...AND RANA HIM OFF THE TOP OF THE LADDER! COLE OH MY GOD! CABOOSE He sacrificed himself to take Zack out! "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" The expected chant breaks out, and once again the screen cuts to split screen mode for the viewers at home, showing the fallen bodies of Zack Malibu and Jamie O'Hara, as well as the spot that led to them being that way. COLE Jamie O'Hara said he was willing to kill himself if it meant a victory, and by God he's certainly living up to those words tonight! CABOOSE The kamikaze style could cost the kid though...he's putting life and limb on the line and if he gets hurt, he might not be able to WALK, let alone climb a ladder and grab the belt and contract! Scotty Static slips back in and takes full advantage of the high risk manuever, rolling O'Hara out of the ring and out of his way. He takes the ladder that was toppled over and snaps it shut, then lays it against the corner, and then goes and takes Malibu and slams him down on top of it to make sure that Zack is immobilized when he goes to get the belt! Static goes and starts his climb on the ladder that is still standing in center ring. He makes it up the first three steps, but out of the corner of his eye notices James Blonde getting up from the floor, so instead of trying to get the prize before someone can stop him, Static breaks from the norm and hops down to the canvas, running across the ring and nailing Blonde with a baseball slide! Blonde stumbles into the guardrail, while Static finds yet ANOTHER ladder and pulls it up, then rams it into the ribcage of James Blonde! Johnny Jax, having recovered from the half-nelson suplex delivered by Malibu, comes over and holds Blonde at bay while Static takes the ladder and lays it sideways, one end held up by the ring and the other end held up by the guardrail. COLE What the...what are they doing? With the ladder in place, Static comes over and takes hold of Blonde along with Jax, and together the GPX run Blonde full force into the ladder, driving his temple into the steel! COACH Damn son, now that's teamwork! That's what they have to do! Take everyone else out, then go at it toe to toe! Proudly, the GPX work the crowd, but their dominance over Blonde on the floor is short-lived, as Blonde's partner sees what's taking place and propels himself over the top rope and down onto both Scotty and Johnny with a pescado! After landing, Faqu starts to ground n' pound Jax, while in the ring Malibu gets up off the ladder, just in time to catch O'Hara charging towards him...so he backdrops him down onto the ladder! O'Hara bounces off the steel and flops around like a dead fish, and after noticing the four men on the outside all getting to their feet while brawling, Malibu races up the ladder to the top rope and then soars downward with a flying bodypress onto the pile of bodies below! COLE Malibu has taken everyone in the match out! He's got to get back in the ring and start climbing! "MAL-AH-BOO!" "MAL-AH-BOO!" "MAL-AH-BOO!" The chants are strong as Zack gets up off the pile of humanity at ringside and steps back through the ropes...and gets met with a desperation European uppercut by a groggy Jamie O'Hara! Zack reels back, then delivers a right hand that spins O'Hara around, and he then turns and charges, only to get backdropped over the ropes...NO! O'Hara SKINS THE CAT~!, but when he tries to push himself back into the ring, he finds his legs grabbed by Faqu, preventing him from getting up and over back into the ring! Faqu holds O'Hara's legs against his shoulders, while the skinny youngster struggles, clinging to the ropes...until Malibu delivers a soccer kick that causes O'Hara's grip to release, allowing Faqu to drop him with a hard powerbomb on the floor! COACH Oh no, J-Man is DOWN! Having taken O'Hara out, a sneering Faqu climbs up on the apron, only to be met with right hands from Malibu, trying to knock him off the apron. The big man wobbles, but does not fall down...at least not until the GPX recover and each yank an ankle out from under the Samoan, pulling him down and then smashing his face into the ring apron! Together, the GPX then execute a double-team back suplex, dropping Faqu on the back of his head, while in the ring Malibu is bracing the ladder for a climb! He moves his way up the rungs, but James Blonde follows suit, climbing up the opposite side for his own chance at victory. The two men both get to the top, and just as Malibu is about to grab the prize, he switches gears, nailing Blonde as he comes up the ladder. Blonde fights back with some hard left hands, trying to use his injured right arm as little as possible. Malibu takes a shot to the jaw and nearly falls over, catching himself with one hand on the top step! Blonde uses that borrowed time to reach up for the gold with his right arm, but as he tries to sway the belt into his grasp, his wrist is grabbed by Malibu, who turns his back to Blonde as he jumps off the ladder with him, snapping the arm over his shoulder as they fall to the canvas! COLE AN ALBRIGHT ARMBREAKER OFF THE TOP OF THE LADDER! COACH I bet he ripped his arm right out of the socket! GOOD! Blonde kicks at the canvas while holding his right arm against his body, in obvious great pain. Malibu too rolls around on the canvas, having taken himself out as he took Blonde away from getting the title and contract. The GPX pounce on the opportunity and get back in the ring, but as Static steps ahead of Jax and moves towards the ladder, Johnny spins him around and doubles him over with a kick, then hits a powerful snap suplex to disable his own partner! Jax then takes the ladder that was propped against the corner and drapes it over his partner, and then goes to the corner and climbs the ropes, as the crowd watches on with great anticipation! COLE They said they were willing to take each other out, and they're certainly living up to the declaration! Jax gets to the top, but before he can do anything, O'Hara slips back into the ring and runs up the ropes, tucking his arm under Johnny Jax's...AND HIPTOSSES HIM OFF THE TOP ROPE DOWN ONTO THE LADDER DRAPED ACROSS SCOTTY STATIC! COACH J! J! Those are your boys, man! Jax walks across the ring on his knees, favoring his back after having it mashed against the unforgiving metal. Static is motionless, with the ladder still covering him, and so now O'Hara remains on the top rope, but only momentarily, as he leaps into the air, flipping and flipping and flipping and CRASHES DOWN ONTO THE LADDER WITH A 630 SPLASH~! CABOOSE Scotty Static may be legally DEAD after all of that! O'Hara now also regrets his actions, as his back is in pain as well. Faqu now enters the ring and hoists Jamie to his feet, and then drives him down with an STO! O'Hara rolls out of the ring as Jax tries running at Faqu with a YAKUZA KICK...but the big Samoan catches the foot and simply throws it down, then throws Jax overhead with a release belly to belly suplex! COLE Look at the big guy go! He's taking EVERYONE out! Faqu is on the warpath, and picks the ladder up off of Scotty Static, looking for someone to swing it at. Malibu, O'Hara, Static and Jax are all down though, so Faqu turns around to set the ladder up...but from behind comes Blonde, his face bloodied from being rammed into the ladder on the floor, to nail his partner from behind with a forearm! Faqu flinches, and Blonde reaches over and pulls the ladder onto Faqu's shoulders, sticking his head between two rungs...AND PULLS BACK ON IT, USING IT TO HIT A LUNGBLOWER WHILE PULLING THE LADDER INTO FAQU'S FACE~! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!" COACH I thought he was dead! CABOOSE Apparently not! Bloodied, beaten and Blonde just eliminated his own partner from contention! Blonde then pulls the ladder up and sets it up next to the other standing ladder, and begins to climb, moving slowly and having to stop and wipe the blood from his eyes. COLE His vision isn't 100% due to that wound on his forehead causing blood to seep into his eyes, and it's taking him more time than it should! Blonde makes it 3/4 of the way up, but even the slightest movement to his right arm causes him to wince in pain. Unable to reach the belt from his position, he climbs up another step, but when he lifts his arm again, he gets drilled in the ribs with a ladder, as down on the canvas Malibu has picked up the ladder used on Faqu and is jabbing it into Blonde's sides, eventually knocking him off the ladder, causing him to land throat first down on the top rope! COLE As if the fall wasn't enough, Blonde just whiplashed himself on his landing! Malibu drops the ladder, but the crowd starts making some noise, dropping hints that the coast is not clear! Sure enough, Jamie O'Hara has gotten back on the apron and is climbing the turnbuckles, but Malibu spins around and catches him in the act, then rushes the corner and shoves Jamie off...AND HE FALLS ONTO THE LADDER SET UP ACROSS THE APRON AND GUARDRAIL, CROTCHING HIMSELF ON ONE OF THE LADDER RUNGS~! "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" COACH Aw no no NO! Man, that's just not RIGHT! The replays come in handy yet again, as they show Malibu pushing both of O'Hara's legs out from under him, sending him down crotch first on the exposed ladder. Back in real time, Malibu turns around from doing that deed, and winds up going up and over the ropes with Scotty Static, who hits a running clothesline that takes them both out to the floor! All that's left are Faqu and Static, both of whom are struggling to get to their feet. Faqu immediately dives for the legs and pulls Scotty up onto his shoulders, making an attempt for a Death Valley Driver...but Static manages to slip out, and instinctively shoves Faqu to the ropes! Static makes the mistake of putting his head down though, and Faqu puts on the brakes and locks his arms with a butterfly lock, then starts drilling his knees into the head and upper body of Scotty Static! After weakening the former World Tag Team Champion, Faqu hoists him up, dropping him with a TIGER BOMB~!, and hangs on, pulling him up a second time, but this time running across the ring and DROPPING HIM OVER THE ROEPS WITH A POWERBOMB TO THE FLOOR~! COACH YO~! COLE FAQU IS THE LAST MAN STANDING RIGHT NOW! CAN HE TAKE HOME THE PRIZE!? "FAQU!" "FAQU!" "FAQU!" The crowd is electric, chanting for the brutal Samoan as he turns away from the ropes and steadies the ladder, starting the climb. CABOOSE The fans are on their feet, but no one else is...waitaminute, cameraman, get a shot of the far side of the ring! On the floor, both Malibu and Jax are getting up, and Johnny takes Malibu by the head and tries running him into the horizontally placed ladder (with O'Hara STILL slumped over it!), but Malibu pushes off, sending Jax face first into it! He stumbles back around...SCHOOL'S OUT TO JOHNNY JAX ON THE FLOOR~! COLE He just cracked his chin! Zack, you've gotta get back in the ring though! The crowd watches on, as Faqu has made it nearly to the top of one of the ladders, and is reaching for the belt! His fingers brush the strap, and he's nearly got it...but Malibu hops up on the apron, and springboards himself ONTO THE SECOND LADDER...AND SPEARS FAQU OFF OF HIS LADDER DOWN TO THE RING BELOW THEM~!~!~! COACH YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! CABOOSE ZACK MALIBU JUST SENT FAQU CRASHING TO THE CANVAS WITH A SPEAR FROM NEARLY 20 FEET OFF THE GROUND~! "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" COLE Listen to these fans...we knew this would be a match with the so-called "holy shit" moments, but I don't think words describe the insanity of this contest! These men have gone through hell tonight, and now Zack Malibu just launched himself from the ring apron to one ladder, then dove off that ladder with a spear to prevent Faqu from unsnapping the HI-YAH belt from its harness! COACH I got one o' my boys knocked out on one side of the ring, I got Scotty Static dead down in front of us, and poor Jamie O'Hara ain't never gonna have kids after tonight! CABOOSE Yes Coach, I don't think things are looking good for your Upstarts tonight. COACH ...screw you. Zack, the least groggy of the two since Faqu broke his fall from above somewhat, gets up and stops himself from falling over due to dizziness. Once he's able to stand on his own two feet, he goes for the ladder and climbs, never stopping, never looking back. COLE He's making his way up, and I don't know if anyone is capable of stopping him this time! Jax was laid out by School's Out. Static was powerbombed on the floor. Blonde has taken too many bad falls, and injured his right arm in the process. Faqu is motionless inside the ring. O'Hara is lifeless, with his body still caught between ladder rungs. The only one in motion is Zack, and he moves closer and closer to the top of the ladder, reaching up for his belt with nobody to stop him. COLE He's almost got it! C'mon Zack! Malibu reaches up, and his hand grazes the belt once before it takes hold of it, snapping the belt and the attatched contract off the harness! CABOOSE HE'S GOT IT! RING THE BELL! *DING DING DING* COLE ZACK MALIBU HAS WON TWO FOR THE MONEY! The fans spring to their feet, letting out a rousing ovation for the still reigning HI-YAH Champion, who lays over the top step of the ladder for a few moments, ridding himself of some exhaustion that he gained while trying to retain his title. After catching his breath, Zack stands upright, raising the belt over his head as he stays on the ladder, showcasing his victory for everyone in attendance and at home. COLE Give it up for ALL of these men, even the Upstarts, because this was nothing short of a war. Every single man lived up to their word. Simply amazing. CABOOSE Even I can give credit where it's due. Your boys did alright for themselves, Coach, but in the end, it's that man who is standing tall, and I'm willing to bet that both Peter Knight and Alfdogg, whichever one of them wins the World Championship later tonight, aren't looking forward to facing a man as motivated as Zack Malibu currently is. Zack climbs down from the ladder and exits the ring, and upon his exit numerous OAOAST personnell and medical staff start coming down the aisle to check on the casualties of the contest. Malibu gets up to the top of the entrance ramp and tears the contract from the back of his title, and holds each one of the prizes up in his hands, as another ovation comes up from the crowd. COLE A well deserved response for an amazing contest, and a well-fought victory for Zack Malibu. It was a match full of Anglemania moments, more of which are to follow, but for now we know that Zack Malibu, whenever he wants it, has a guaranteed shot at the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title! CABOOSE The tides are changing back into our favor, Michael. Whoever walks out of the main event with the strap tonight is going to have to have Zack in the back of their minds every day of the week, because that title shot is guaranteed at any OAOAST event in the next year! COLE It certainly promises to keep the title scene interesting, and later tonight the highly anticipated matchup for the OAOAST World Championship takes place. Peter Knight vs. Alfdogg, coming up later on at Anglemania V.

More buildup amongst the contestants of Two For The Money.

We used to hate each other... The voice of James Blonde echoes over a shot of he and Faqu, starting deep into the camera. We're the hottest tag team in OAOAST history, whether you want to admit it or not. Cut to shot of Scotty Static and Johnny Jax, the Global Party Exchange, snickering at the camera. I gots the skills for the thrills, and the drive to survive. Jamie O'Hara, arms folded in front of his chest, nods at the camera. I'm the one with the most to lose...and I love those odds. Zack Malibu, sitting on a locker room bench with the HI-YAH belt laid across his lap, looks up at the camera. This isn't about anyone's war. A voiceover speaks over clips of several clips of Upstarts/Originals altercations. This is about pride. A shot of Zack Malibu winning the HI-YAH Heavyweight Title is shown. This is about glory. A shot of Blonde and Faqu standing in the ring is shown next. All allegiances are out the window. Cut to a clip of the GPX and Jamie O'Hara walking to the ring. Don't underestimate us. Faqu's deep voice bellows a warning, as the camera zooms in on his eyes. I'm willin' to kill myself for this chance... Jamie O'Hara executes a corkscrew moonsault off the top rope. ...we're willing to take each other out if it means victory... The GPX stare each other down. ...so just imagine what we're gonna do... James Blonde hits a hard lariat on Dan Black. ...to YOU. The five challengers, in unison, shout those words as a shot of Zack standing with the belt over his shoulder comes up. THIS SUNDAY. The narrator's voice returns, as various clips of all six men are shown in rapid-fire motion. SIX MEN. Seperate shots of each of the six combatants flicker across the screen. VYING FOR NOT ONE... A shot of the HI-YAH Championship belt. ...BUT TWO CHANCES FOR GLORY. A shot of an official OAOAST contract, with a blank line for a signature at the bottom, is shown in close-up. TO GET TO THE TOP...YOU MUST MAKE IT TO THE TOP. Various clips from last fall's TLC match on HeldDOWN~! are shown, including the teetering ladder duel, and the powerbomb over the ropes onto the ladder. ONE MAN WILL CLAIM TWO PRIZES. A shot of the belt and the contract, side by side, is show. THE RIGHT TO CALL HIMSELF CHAMPION. Zack Malibu, standing on the ramp in his entrance gear with the HI-YAH belt fastened around his waist, is shown. THE RIGHT TO CHALLENGE A CHAMPION. Two shots, one of current champion Peter Knight, the other of his Anglemania challenger Alfdogg, flicker across the screen. This Sunday... JAMIE O'HARA. This Sunday... JAMES BLONDE. This Sunday... FAQU. This Sunday... SCOTTY STATIC. This Sunday... JOHNNY JAX. This Sunday... HI-YAH HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION ZACK MALIBU. THIS SUNDAY, GET YOUR MONEY'S WORTH. The OAOAST Presents: TWO FOR THE MONEY. This Sunday, live on Pay Per View. Only at ANGLEMANIA V.

Ah shit...Ken if you need anything you know how and where to find me.

That's perfectly fine. Having them win it post-AM after having killed each other in the Two For The Money match could be their way of bonding as a unit. We can make them into our GenNext.

I don't ignore him.

What about one of the Havana Pitbulls?

Carnival needs to go all the way.

I think you think too much.

Crono was entertaining. You of all people shouldn't be pointing fingers at any Hardcore Discussion crap.

Didn't you learn anything at school? The cool kids sit at the back of the bus where they can make trouble for the Establishment... ..and that post made just as much sense here as in real life. I didn't take the bus. Where's that guy who obsessed over buses when you need him?

Adam, is the ride any less comfortable at the back of the bandwagon?

That's neither big nor red.

Yes Adam, oh so hard. Every post is written with shivering hands and a tear soaked keyboard. Hold me.

Slayer comes through with truth.

No, for change to happen, your father would have had to have dropped you on your mom's chin, and spared us the end result. The grass would have been much greener then.

Paul and I will buy it, and also run a deli out of it. Free eats for Boardum posters!

Yeah, most goth-rapes tend to happen in the wee hours of the night.

...!

Touche', my friend.

biatch Quoted for truth.

Dammit, stop making me laugh when I'm on the phone.

Hoff uses your minivan for touring purposes?

Tekcop, the "Zach" thing is a Slayer trademark. He's gonna hang you for that.