Zack Malibu

I had thought of adding IRS (but with the Rotunda/o name and minus the taxman gimmick), but to me, Martel has the Tully vibe, as I mentioned. Valentine, while not necessarily an imposing intimidator such as a Luger, Windham, or a Sid, could have had an earlier version of the Crippler gimmick. A grizzled veteran who was willing to hurt anyone and just did not care about the consequences. Besides Valentine, I had considered Big Boss Man for the enforcer role (in a gimmick similar to Big Bubba Rogers, somewhat like his 2002 return gimmick), as well as a repackaged Hercules since Power and Glory were pretty much done by this point. Those were the only big bodyguard types I could see fitting in, as I don't think the cartoonish powerhouses like Warlord would have fit. You could also replace Martel with Hennig, but I wanted to go off real life and not have Hennig be ready to return to the ring during the formation of this group.

I remember the Hercules/Ramon rumor quite well, as I believe it popped up in the Observer around '94-'95 as well (when I first started reading it). I believe they simply wrote Del Wilkes in wrong by linking him with the magician gimmick, as the eventual Fantasio magician gimmick was done by Del Rios, aka Spellbinder from USWA.

Flanked by the rest of The Enterprise, Moneymaker looks more angry than usual. Normally, the money that stuffs his pockets and makes him feel secure is enough to keep a smile, even a devilish one, on his face. None of that tonight, however. MONEYMAKER Two weeks ago, Zack Malibu, the supposed role model that he is, commited a heinous crime in this very ring. Zack Malibu STOLE from me, and ran off like a theif in the night...which is exactly what he is, a THEIF! I came out here with a token of my appreciation, a gesture to Zackary Malibu to end this nonsense once and for all, and what does he do? He spits in my face yet again, and shows nothing but disrespect when he's the one always preaching about what it means to respect everything around him. But Zack Malibu, I know how you are. I know that there is no getting through to you, and that's fine. The New Year's Spectacular will give me the opportunity to finally showcase myself as the top wrestler in this promotion and in the world today. It will give me a chance to unleash MY frustrations, and shut you up once and for all. Zack Malibu, you will have your day on January 1st. It sickens me though that YOU PEOPLE, each and every one of you, feed into Zack time and time again, and two weeks ago was the final straw. To act as accomplices and take that money...MY MONEY...out of his hands and put it in your pockets was completely over the line! I have done nothing for the last six months except get you people to better yourselves, and realize that you pay tribute to a false idol, but it's too late. You people have become the very thing that Zack Malibu is. You are all selfish! EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU! Maybe that's why you all feel like you can relate to Zack Malibu...because none of you are any better than the common cockroach! It disgusts me at what society has become, and yet everything is to blame...the economy, the school system, alcohol, drugs...everybody has something or someone to blame except themself! LOOK IN THE MIRROR, PEOPLE! Look at what you are! You have deteriorated, and I no longer wish to be your saving grace! You can all rot in hell for all I care, because guess what? My charity ended when you stole from me. The money that I've invested, that I've worked to build into my fortune, taken without a second thought and without fear of repurcussions. And that, my friends...is where you are wrong. Moneymaker hops out of the ring, and waves Bosley and CPA to come with him. Christian Wright and Alison stand in the ring, watching as Moneymaker circles ringside. MONEYMAKER You here, sitting with your son...I bet you purchased his Christmas presents with the money you stole from me, didn't you!? DIDN'T YOU?!!? The fan tries to respond, but Bosley shoves the man down, knocking him over and humilating him in front of his young son, who can be no more than seven. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" MONEYMAKER Oh shut up and spare me with your disdain, because I'm far past the point of caring. I warned that you people would wind up sinking to Zack's level eventually, and sadly that day has come. I tried and tried, but NO! You people turned on me and ran off with my money! MY MONEY! GIVE ME MY MONEY BACK! Moneymaker, so crazed by Zack's actions that he doesn't realize he's in a completely different city from where the incident took place, grabs an older gentleman by the collar of his shirt and yanks him out of his seat, eyeing him face to face. MONEYMAKER WHERE IS IT!?!? GIVE ME MY MONEY! The frightened man stammers, not knowing what to say, until he's shoved back into his seat as well. COLE Theodore Moneymaker has completely lost it tonight. COACH Can you blame him? Shit, I'd be doing this if I lost ten bucks, nevermind half a million! Moneymaker walks around, enduring the fans catcalls. He notices two college age guys sitting and laughing about this, and motions to CPA and Bosley...who take one of them and biel him over the railing, onto the ringside floor! COLE Oh come ON! The young man is stunned by no more stunned than when he tries to get up and Moneymaker delivers a hard kick to his ribs, then orders his henchman to toss the man into the ring! COACH That'll teach him! COLE That'll get us a lawsuit! Moneymaker steps into the ring, and as the young man is going to get up, Moneymaker hits him with the Billion Dollar Kneelift, as the crowd is totally, 100% against the villainous billionaire. MONEYMAKER YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY!? YOU STEAL FROM ME AND IT'S A JOKE? Well, now we'll see what you're laughing about! Moneymaker undoes his belt, as CPA and Bosley hold the young man still, yanking his shirt up to expose his back. Moneymaker folds his belt in two, and then starts whipping the young man hard, leaving red welts across his back! COLE He's lost it! He's gone too far! Moneymaker continues to unload, but the fans come alive as ZACK MALIBU comes racing down the aisle! Zack slides into the ring and tackles Moneymaker at the legs, and unloads WITH FURY~! until he's thrown off by Bosley! Bosley, CPA and Wright all gang up on Zack, with Alison calling out directions, and The Enterprise starts to have their way with Malibu! They pull him up, but Zack starts fighting back, nailing everyone in sight, until Moneymaker clocks him with a belt-wrapped fist! Malibu goes down in a heap, and Moneymaker hovers over him, pounding on him with his loaded fist! COLE Damn it, Zack's being assaulted by The Enterprise! COACH You wanted him to stop beating on the fan, and he did. Look at the bright side, Mikey Cole! Moneymaker works Zack over, until the fans roar again, when BOHEMOTH and LEON RODEZ, the OAOAST World Champion, hit the ring! The rest of The In Crowd send The Enterprise heading for the hills, and Leon unstraps his World Title and swings it like a weapon, looking to crack anyone from The E without discrimination! COLE Thank God for The In Crowd! Bo and Leon tend to Zack, whose face has been made a crimson mask. The Enterprise look on as a groggy Malibu is aided by his stablemates. Malibu looks through glassy eyes at Moneymaker, who looks at his bloody, belt wrapped fist and points to Zack, telling him his days are numbered. COLE It was a war that spanned throughout most of the year, and in just one week's time, it comes to a head. Zack Malibu and Theodore Moneymaker will finally be in the ring one on one, and no matter who wins that war, I do not envy the man on the losing end one second, because you know neither one is going to take it lightly on the other!

Thank you, and a happy birthday to you too sir!

There was a girl I knew whose last name was Hitler. Blonde hair and blue eyed too.

Maff's been appearing in JAPW for years since the incident. The blackballing was more or less an ROH exclusive thing, given that Homicide was one of its top stars.

My segments are in, one after another. Yay for plot development!

When the music fades, the fans at home get an earful of the booing that encompasses the arena, and Moneymaker simply rolls his eyes, having come to terms with the fans resilience to embrace him as the new hero of the OAOAST. MONEYMAKER Ladies and gentlemen, I assure you, you will not be booing much longer. Tonight, here on HeldDOWN~!, you will bear witness to a historic moment. Tonight, I am out here not to incite, not to anger, but simply to do what's right. Tonight, I would like to officially end my feud with Zack Malibu! COLE He what!? COACH Stand up and applaud, Mikey Cole! It takes a big man to do that! The fans conversate, not sure what to make of this development, but a nod from Alison is apparently to assure them that this is for real. MONEYMAKER My feud with Zack has taken many twists and turns for the better half of 2008, and I feel that with the holidays and a new year coming up on us now, this is what's best. So Zack, I am politely asking you to join Alison and myself in this ring right here and now, so that I can speak with you face to face, and we can put our grudge behind us. Moneymaker, who sounds shockingly sincere, still isn't winning the crowd over, as they boo his attempts at making up with the Modern Day Warrior. What does win them over is the sound of "Getting Away With Murder", as Zack's anthem never ceases to motivate the rabid fanbase. COLE Here comes The Franchise! Malibu pauses before he heads down the aisle, looking up at the ring stoicly, surveying the scene as if he feels another typical Enterprise trap coming in. So much, in fact, that he looks over his shoulder before he starts his path down the aisle. Moneymaker and Alison back up to the far side of the ring, making Zack feel secure enough to enter, which he does. Alison retrieves a mic and walks it over to Zack, and all he can do is stare at her as she hands it over, then almost sheepishly backs off. Moneymaker waits for Zack's music to die down, and just as Malibu is about to speak, he jumps in and cuts him off. MONEYMAKER Now hold on, Zackary. Before you go off with accusations and finger pointing and preaching the virtues of this company and how you'll defend it to your last breath, let me explain to you just why you're out here, because I know you're just as curious as everyone else. I stand by what I said earlier though, and Zack, I think you and eye are finally going to see eye to eye on something. Alison, if you'd be so kind as to open the briefcase for Zack. Alison takes the briefcase from Moneymaker, lays it on the mat, and opens it up. There inside are neatly stacked and wrapped PILES OF MONEY. Zack looks down at it, either surprised by the amount in there or by the fact that Moneymaker carries that much on him. MONEYMAKER Take a good luck at it, Zack. That's half a million dollars right there. COACH Mikey Cole, watch my seat! COLE Sit down, you boob! Malibu stares at the money, but still doesn't get what it has to do with him. MALIBU OK, so what are we doing, comparing pocket change now? MONEYMAKER On the contrary, Zack. This isn't my money. It's yours. MALIBU It's what? MONEYMAKER Let me explain. That's $500,000 right there. A half a million dollars of my own money, and I'm giving it to you, Zack, as a peace offering. MALIBU A peace offering? You think you can just buy me off with your money and... MONEYMAKER Now hold on, Zack. I'm not done. Because if you take that money tonight, there's more to come. Another $500,000 will be invested into a fund solely for your use, as long as we come to an understanding here tonight. See Zack, we can go on and on with this war. Fighting over Anglesault's legacy and the history of this company has distracted us from the fact that we are two very smart businessmen. You helped launch this entire brand, this company. You truly are the poster boy and the franchise of the OAOAST. I'm simply a face in the crowd on the roster, but a face that stands out thanks to my wealth and talent. Nevertheless, I'm also a realist, Zack, and I know that this feud can't go on forever, nor do we want it to. We both have our goals in life, and you Zack have something that means more to you than this petty war between us. You have a family at home. A lovely companion, and a beautiful little girl. A family that you love, honor, and protect every minute of the day. A family that you want to grow old with. And that's where this offering comes in, Zack. I want you to take this money and walk away, not just from me, but from the OAOAST. Immediately, the crowd starts booing their asses off, not wanting their hero to succumb to the pressures of the villainous Moneymaker. Zack looks down at the money, then up at Moneymaker and Alison, then down again. MALIBU So, I take this money and walk away, and I get the rest of it? MONEYMAKER You get the full one million dollars, Zack, all for doing nothing but being the bigger man and walking away from a fight. MALIBU One million dollars, with no other catch to it? MONEYMAKER No catches, Zack. Think of it as a supplement to your retirement fund. In this economy right now, people are starving and scraping by, and while you're certainly well off, think of what another million dollars could do. It's money that you can spend freely, invest, do whatever you want with it. Just take it, Zack. Take the money and go home. Rest your broken body. Wake up next to Candie every morning. Be there for your daughter as she blossoms. Stop fighting battles for Anglesault, or this company, or even yourself. You've already proven you're a legend, Zack. The legacy will live on, but your career can end now, on a high note. You can walk away with your health, and your wealth, with no regrets. Malibu ponders the offer, looking down at the case. He takes deep breaths, and it's obvious what Moneymaker is saying is getting to him. MALIBU One million dollars, to just up and walk away? You want me to walk away from everything I spent the last seven years of my life working for? A company name, a brand, a fanbase, a roster full of guys young and old that came here because of a path paved by myself and my peers? You want me to just give it up so that I'm out of your hair? MONEYMAKER No, Zack. This isn't about you and me. This isn't about our issues. This is about the reality of it all. Do you think your girlfriend wants you to keep doing what you do? Crawling out of this ring a bloody mess, going home with broken ribs and a sore back? Do you think she wants to continue to be used as a pawn so that people can get under your skin? Do you think she wants you to continue to go home and have your daughter be unable to play with her father because he's too hurt to get out of bed in the morning? These fans might not want you to walk away, Zack, and there's a locker room full of people who don't want you to go, but in your heart of hearts, you KNOW that your family doesn't want this to go on any longer? Malibu eyes Moneymaker, and then Alison takes the mic, drawing some boos from the hushed crowd. ALISON Listen to him, Zack. Don't make the same mistake twice. Don't drive your family away in favor of your career. Look at what happened to us, Zack. It was this business that came between us, and turned us into what we've become. If you truly love your family...if you love Candie and little Jenna, then you need to do this. Walk away with your head high, don't force yourself to be something that you can't be forever. Don't wind up a footnote, someone like Some Guy or Big McLargehuge. Go out on a high note, as a company man, as a champion, as a hero. Go and do the right thing. Your fans will understand. They'll respect you for it. This is the right thing to do, Zack. Malibu looks as if he's getting emotional, but is sucking it up for all it's worth. Moneymaker and Alison silence themselves, giving him the time to think this offer over. "PLEASE DON'T DO IT!" clap clap clapclapclap "PLEASE DON'T DO IT!" clap clap clapclapclap "PLEASE DON'T DO IT!" clap clap clapclapclap The fans let their voices be heard, a thunderous chant that they hope will motivate Zack Malibu not to accept this offer. Malibu looks out to the crowd, as if he's seeking an answer, or perhaps forgiveness. Malibu walks towards Moneymaker and looks at him sternly, yet solemnly, then leans over and picks up the briefcase. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE No, c'mon Zack, don't let it end like this... COACH Don't let it end like this? He's making a million dollars to go sit and home and live the life! You are a fool, Mikey Cole! Zack looks somber as he stares at Moneymaker and Alison, who both look at him in approval. Moneymaker nods to Zack, mouthing "it's the right thing to do". Zack turns around and heads out of the ring...until he turns back around and CRACKS Theodore Moneymaker with a SCHOOL'S OUT to an ovation like none other! COACH What the!?!? COLE I don't think Zack Malibu is going ANYWHERE, Coach! Alison freaks, dropping to the mat to check on Moneymaker, as Malibu just stares at what he's just done. Zack then looks at the briefcase and hops out of the ring, as Alison desperately tries to stop him. Malibu hops over the ringside barrier, opening the case and taking the money...THROWING HANDFULS OF IT INTO THE CROWD! COLE Zack Malibu is giving these fans an early Christmas gift tonight! COACH He's throwing that money away! That's Theodore's money! The fans go nuts, as all of them in Zack's vicinity scramble to catch what's floating through the air. Zack makes his way through the crowd, throwing money to and fro, and when he gets to the top of the steps he turns and looks back at the ring. Alison, cradling Moneymaker's head, screams like a banshee, while Malibu ducks through an exit tunnel. COLE Theodore Moneymaker thought he had finally gotten to Zack Malibu with his selective reasoning, but Zack Malibu is not going to be swerved! COACH Zack Malibu is a THIEF, Mikey Cole! THAT'S the role model for our fans!? COLE Poetic justice, Coach. Haven't you ever heard of it? COACH Man, that movie was like 15 years ago and it sucked. If you're going to make a witty reference, be current, Mikey. COMMERCIAL BREAK We return to HeldDOWN~!, where Josie Baker is greeted by the slamming of a briefcase down on her desk. The camera pans to the side, and lo and behold, there is ZACK MALIBU, weilding the case taken from Theodore Moneymaker just a little while ago. JOSIE You're having quit the night, Zack. Why don't you... ZACK Look, I'm done playing games. I don't care if you like me or you don't, but here's the deal. There's a good amount of money left in this case. Now I COULD be a nice guy and hand it back to Moneymaker so that he can pay to have his jaw reconstructed after what I just did, or I could put it to better use and give it to you. JOSIE Is that some type of hooker joke, Zack? ZACK It's called doing business. You give me what I want, and you can have what's left in the case. Zack cracks the case open, and Josie's eyes light up at the stacks of bills still left inside it. ZACK Me versus Moneymaker, one on one, New Year's Spectacular. I'm done with him ducking me, I'm done with the games and the finger pointing and the name calling. I'd have taken him out at November Reign if he didn't run away, so now unless you want every HeldDOWN~!, every house show, every autograph signing, every pay per view, every anything disrupted by him and me, you'll do this. JOSIE You're bribing me to give you a match? ZACK Call it what you want. I don't need this money, and I don't want it...so it's all yours as long as you make that match happen. Josie reaches into the briefcase and pulls out a stack of bills, peeling through it. JOSIE Done. Zack Malibu versus Theodore Moneymaker, New Year's Spectacular. ZACK Pleasure doing business with you. Malibu heads out of the office, and while Josie gives him a dirty look as he has his back turned, it turns into a devilish smile as she looks at her newfound wealth.

And one from me!! ZACK MALIBU Leon Rodez, World Champion? Even I never thought I'd see the day where it happened, but you know what? I'm happy it did. You deserve it, Leon. You've made me and the rest of The In Crowd proud. You put that sixteen pounds of gold around your waist at long last. Savor it. Enjoy it. Represent this company as...well, as only you can. I'll tell you this as a friend, and it's something you already know...you can enjoy the belt around your waist, but watch out for the target on your back. Friends, enemies and everyone in between is coming for that title. You think it was a fight to win it? It's going to be hell to keep it. Take it from me, my friend. Enjoy the ride, but don't go off track when it gets a little bumpy.

Yeah, but a sequel would be pointless if the studio couldn't get the rights to other characters like Ash from Evil Dead, or Michael Myers. They actually released the sequel, sort of, last year. The original script for the planned sequel with Ash was released in comic book form in a six part series. Was a really good read, IMO.

1)The Beverly Hills Blondes and Krista Isadora Duncan defeated The Heavenly Rockers and Mister Dick in 16:02 when Krista pinned Synth. Fans were really into the Blondes as babyfaces and this was a hot opener. 2)Faqu defeated Jamie O'Hara in 8:44. 3)Team Heyross beat Luther and Waldo of the Burrough Boys 4)Bohemoth pinned Alfdogg in 18:31. Major heat for this one, as the crowd was very into Bo and very into hating Alf. Finish saw Alf miss the Five Star Alf Splash, then get hoisted up into the Erotic Awakening of B. 5)A six man tag between James Blonde, Nathaniel Black and Landon Maddix taking on Christian Wright, Tango Bosley and Theodore Moneymaker ended in a no-contest when Zack Malibu stormed the ring to go after Moneymaker. Moneymaker escaped thanks to Wright and Bosley jumping Zack, but Malibu cleaned house on them, Blonde, and Maddix with a chair. Nate Black escaped harm, and Bohemoth came out to calm down his fellow In Crowd member after the melee. 6)Leon Rodez successfully defended the OAOAST World Title against Tha Puerto Rican, getting the winning pin in over 20 minutes. The new champion got a huge pop coming out. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1)Nathaniel Black pinned Jamie O'Hara. Strong opener going about 15 minutes. 2)The Beverly Hills Blondes and Team Heyross defeated The Heavenly Rockers, Alfdogg and Sandman9000 when Ned Blanchard pinned Logan Mann. 3)Krista Isadora Duncan defeated Tango Bosley 4)Tha Puerto Rican defeated Theodore Moneymaker by countout when Zack Malibu hit the ring and went after Moneymaker once again. 5)James Blonde and Faqu beat Todd Cortez and Brock Ausstin 6)Christian Wright and Mister Dick defeated The In Crowd (Bohemoth and Zack Malibu) when Theodore Moneymaker blasted Malibu with a chair on the outside, and rolled him into the ring for a Wright pin. 7)OAOAST World Champion Leon Rodez pinned Landon Maddix.

I got the Flair three disc set...what's on that fourth disc that's the Highspots exclusive?

Morgan and Hernandez, if pushed properly, could easily draw. LAX as a tag team could be a major draw as well, especially in the Hispanic markets. Homicide has all the tools to be a credible main event guy. He's got charisma, can work circles around many, and can work the brawling style too. Pushing the two of them huge as a pair could benefit both, because then if they ever do the breakup, you've got a ready made, main event level feud. I don't know that Abyss could ever be a draw. He's been there way too long and in too many shitty situations. Dare I compare him to Kane, or a JBL type, in that he's a credible upper level threat, but his days of bringing money in are behind him. It's too bad Monty Brown didn't have his heart in the wrestling business, because there was a time where he could have been a saving grace for TNA. Imagine a world where Brown stayed put and continued to be built as a monster, while Joe came in and destroyed everyone in his path as he did in '05-'06. Brown vs. Joe would have been a legit huge drawing match for them.

If anything, I'm sure WWE would offer him a light schedule. Something akin to Austin's later years in the company. He could play the special enforcer and do short programs once or twice a year. I bet Kozlov gets released this coming year now that the bubble has burst on him, and TNA brings him in (since it was Jerry Jarrett who discovered him in the first place). While I can't see guys like Cena, Orton, Edge, and the more obvious Shawn, HHH, UT or JBL leaving, there are still plenty of people who could be TNA bound when contracts come due. The problem is that with the WWE being so bad at pushing a lot of new talent and focus on the same guys in rotation, they're not making many new stars, thus when guys leave, they aren't bringing TNA much in the way of name value.

Angle signed a 3 year deal in 2006, and unless I'm forgetting something he hasn't signed an extension or renegotiated yet. Sting is supposedly signed on for 2009 with plans for a big retirement angle/ceremony deal for him.

He'll never leave the 'E, as he's Hunter's pet project, and is thus protected. Not to mention that he's one of the most over guys on the roster, and making easily double/triple what he could in TNA (after merchandising, royalties, etc. are factored in).

Exactly what I was thinking on Doane. Slow burn push, and utilize his OVW gimmick. Of course, knowing Russo, they'd give him the RKO finisher and just try to make him into a carbon copy Orton. Bring him in, and start him off in a feud with, let's say Jay Lethal or Eric Young. Take it from there. Don't put him in with Rhino, Styles, etc. right off the bat.

Morgan should have gotten better development. I know they did the Big Bubba type deal with him and Cornette for a while, and then the Goldberg push in the ring, but they've already had him face Angle and lose on free TV, and now he's in a makeshift tag team with Abyss, who while a good worker is nowhere near as over as he used to be. I'm a big fan of Morgan since I was always a big OVW fan, so I certainly hope they can make it work with him. It happened with Tomko, so hopefully they can pull it off. I totally agree with Burke as well. He was great in OVW, and he was carrying the new ECW for a while. Last week's Observer said that Ken Doane (Dykstra) was under consideration as well, again likely due to the OVW connection. Cornette was always high on him, and the kid does have a future if he stops acting immature behind the scenes. I just wouldn't expect fans to take him as a serious threat right off the bat...he needs to come in and have a few "proving" programs before he gets shunted up the roster.

That's very true. For the talent they may lose, they always stand to gain. Whether it's someone they can develop into a legit top level threat like what they did with Christian, or a Jeff Hardy who is a third strike away from being TNA World Champion, TNA can gain some despite losing some.

Five on five is DONE. Holy crap, i feel like I just gave birth.

COACH Rules are made to be followed, Mikey, The Blonds broke ‘em and now they’re outta here. Every bit as angry as the audience, the Pissed Off Prep comes in a smoldering cauldron of rage and fire. The first victim to feel his wrath is Logan, cut down by a lariat. Right as Mann hits the canavs, Malibu darts towards Moneymaker. Eager to avoid the enraged megastar, Moneymaker leaps off the ring apron. The obnoxious finger wagging of his rival distracts Zack from Mann, and he’s caught from behind with a clubbing forearm. Two more shots to the back follow before Mann flings Zack into the corner. The ring posts nearly knock the breath out The Franchise as he collides backfirst with them. But he still has the wits about him to scatter out the way when Mann comes charging after him. Clutching his hurt stomach, the rock n wrestling superstar staggers backwards as Malibu leaps onto the second rope. The fans explode with cheers when he crashes through Mann with a cross body block! Buzzlefoxer counts the pinfall. ONE! TWO! Mister Dick breaks it up with a boot to the head! The disdain the fans felt over such a tactic dissipates the moment Bo runs the length of the apron and nearly takes MD’s head off with a clothesline! While his partner drags himself out the ring, Logan attempts to chuck Zack into the ropes. But the POP reverses the hold and sends Mann heading to the cables. Unable to think of a counter attack, the three time tag champ is upended with a back body drop! “MALIBU! MALIBU! MALIBU!” Zack is feelin' DAT BABYFACE FIYAH~! And beats his chest to an approving audience. Yet, this flood of testosterone costs him dearly; Christian Wright surprises him with a bulldog! Without waiting for the alzheimer’s ridden referee to realize this is illegal, Logan rolls out the ring to make Wright the legal man. CW quickly takes advantage of his trickery by planting a pair of elbows into the back of Zack’s head. With Malibu groggy from the shots, CW guides him to his feet and assails him with a bit of verbose trashtalk. Zack may not be able to understand what the hell CW says, but it doesn’t make him any less angry, and he recalls his strength to batter The Natural with wild right hands. Wright looks on the verge of tipping over into an early KO, but he’s kept aloft by the POP whipping him into the corner. Just seconds after hitting the post, Wright must deal with the irking sight of Malibu charging him. Out of sheer desperation, he throws up his loafers and that’s enough to stop Zack’s attack and cause him to stagger backwards. As Malibu attends to his blurred vision and sore face, CW scoots onto the top rope. He then flies towards Malibu and sends him tumbling to the canvas with a dropkick. While the Steamers applaud his showing, he hooks Zack’s leg for a fall… ONE! TWO! The massive forearm of Bohemoth ends the pinfall, and has Christian demanding Buzzlefoxer control his former bodyguard. Wright soon shifts his attention away from old man Clam and back to Zack, roughly shoving the Franchise into the neutrual corner. He reddens his chest with several European uppercuts that leave Malibu wincing in agony and covering his tormented chest. Wright isn’t much for mercy and furthers his assault with an Irish whip towards an opposite corner. He follows the Prep in, expecting to hit a body splash. But Zack evades his charge and he slams full force into the posts! Staggering backwards Wright falls into the Angle Slam! “YEAAAAAAA!” the Anaheim audience erupts, as Zack falls on top CW for a pinfall. He waits and waits for the referee to count, thinking Clem is merely undergoing another narcolepsy spell. In reality, Abdullah has distracted him with verses from his holy book. Without a second of hesitation, Zack reaches the speaker for the prophets and headbutts him off the apron! The audience’s delighted reaction is the complete opposite of the mortified Cleveland Steamers. COACH Hope you enjoy your trip to hell, Preppy! MACKENZIE I don’t think he will. Hell doesn’t have an Applebees for him to take his bastard child to that looks like the Hispanic guy next door. Zack turns back to Wright with the thought that The Natural is still down for the Angleslam. Erroneous thinking on the POP’s part as CW runs through him with a spear! A pinfall follows… ONE! TWO! Zack gets his shoulder off the canavs. Rolling off Malibu, Wright keeps his hands within his sandy blonde hair in order to bring him off the mat. Now upright, Malibu regains his spirit and tags CW with a left-right combo that leads right into a jawbreaker! Feeling as though every tooth in his mouth has been loosened, The Natural wobbles aimlessly before suffering a mercy killing as Zack brings him to the mat with a double leg takedown. He drags The Natural to his corner where he applies the tag to Krista! Huge cheers rush from the mouths of the fans for their fellow Californian, but Krista isn’t quite ready to enter as she’s reapplying her lip gloss. “Hurry up, ya dike!” Mister Dick shouts from across the ring. ‘Hey, racist, you no who else is? Ben Stiller, Adam Sandler, hall of famer Rod Carew-“ “He said dike not kike.” Zack chimes in. “Oh, honey, I’m sorry.” Krista apologizes and to make up for her gaffe decides to give CW a free make over. Ignoring his protest, she crazily scribbles her lip gloss across his face. But he continues to complain, and not one for ungratefulness, she shoves him to the ground! Unsympathetic to his associate’s misery, Moneymaker gruffly orders him to fight. With no room for debate, CW is quick to his feet, but just as he stands Krista’s ten thousand dollar legs spin him around in a twisting head scissors. On the verge of vomiting, CW stumbles upright but is caught by a five thousand dollar knee strike! The attack knocks him off balance, but he recovers with quickly enough to charge at the walk of famer. But, Krissy meets his arrival by tightening her arms around his neck. He exhausts every effort to break free of her grip, but all her work is futile and she drops him with a Blonds Never Pay A Cover (side effect)! COLE Wright paying the ultimate price for being in the same ring as Krista at the same time. Wright tries to get off the mat under his own power, but this is made maddingly impossible when a Fendi platform heel slams into his noggin. The other half of the 675$ pumps lands its strike, and then the whole pair mangles his face with a dropkick. The heels take her to the ropes, but her hands bring her back in a graceful cartwheel that ends with a knee driven into CW’s skull. A furious headache immediately consumes Wright, and urges him to get to his corner. Thus he rolls off the canvas, but as he does so Krista is bouncing off the ropes. When she reaches her rival, her arms hook beneath his and haul his lip glossed face down against her knee. Quickly, she scurries behind him and further mutilates his facial features with a one handed face crusher! Wright cries out in miserey. “Oh, honey, you’re gonna raise your voice to me right now?” “I’m not raising my voice! By the gods, I’m injured!” “For the sake of the baby, honey, I think we need some space.” Wright’s situation takes another huge downturn as Krista makes the tag to the Meterosexual Monster! CW attempts to make a speedy retreat to his corner, but his escape is halted by BO’s fingers clamping down on his curly hair. The giant throws him into the corner, and ignoring Wright’s cries for mercy, ravages him with a series of overhand chops. Logan realizes that Bo might very well shred Wright straight to his bone, and enters the ring to rescue his fellow Steamer. Unfortunately for him, Bo spots his arrival and nearly saws him in half with a powerful lariat! The audience cheers and Bo roars with adrenaline, neither one noticing a recovered CW standing on the second rope. Thus its to both their surprise when he vacates his perch to pelt his former employee with a diving forearm. Satisfied with that one offensive strike, CW tags in The Billion Dollar Heir. Together they lift a groggy Bohemoth off the mats and throw him at the ropes. He returns with both arms raised for double clothesline, but that only makes it easier for The Enterprise reps to throw him over with a double hip toss! As Wright departs the ring, his boss hands Bo A Fistful of Dollars and then goes for a fall. ONE! TWO! Bo powers his way out the pinfall, leading Moneymaker to stomp around the canvas in a lunatic tantrum. Putting his rage to a “healthy” use, he returns to the big man to collar him and blast his face with punches. After drawing a sprinkle of blood from Bo’s forehead, Moneymaker realizes his hold to stand back up and drive his red boots into the top of his rival’s head. Yet even as Moneymaker throws all his strength and anger into his stomps, Bo still succeeds in finding his way back up. Unwilling to give the monster a chance to mount a counter attack, Moneymaker irish whips Bo away. As he returns, the Messiah hops into the air for a leap frog, but the South Carolinian is a hair ahead of him and smashes him into the canvas with a spine buster! “YEAAAAAAA!” COLE Is there anyone in the OAOAST with the might and power of Big Bohemoth? While Bo takes a moment to shake out the cobwebs Moneymaker’s kicks struck him with, The Steamers’ captain rolls to his corner where he makes a tag with Logan Mann. Showing no fear of the monster, Mann charges into the ring. But his bravery is rewarded with a flap jack that brings him down throat first across the top rope cables! “YEAAAAAAAA!” Logan stumbles away from the ropes, heading straight towards the snarling and furious beast. As he has little intentions of enduring any further beating, he resorts to cheap tactics and rakes Bo’s eyes. Blinded, Bohemoth can’t stop Logan from hooking his gigantic arms behind his back. Thankfully he recovers his sight just in time, to boot a charging Wright in the face! As the fans pop for his counter, the big man breaks free of Logan’s hold and whirls around to hammer him with a punch. But Mann moves quick, and stabs him in the gut with a swift boot. His hands go around his neck in a front facelock and the dreaded finger twirl signals the percussion! “BOOOOOO!” But Bo fights off the finisher that has put down so many superstars by shoving Mann to the ropes! Little does he know, he just gave Mister Dick the chance to make a blind tag. The MACHO macho Mann darts Bo, sliding beneath the lumbering brute’s legs. Distracted by Mann’s frantic movement, Bo can’t prevent the Human Hard On from pasting him in between the eyes with a double axe handle smash! The attack doesn’t succeed in flooring Bohemoth, instead knocking him straight towards Mann who captures him in another setup for a Percussion DDT! Once again Logan is unsuccessful, as Bo lifts him up and runs clear across the ring to dump the rockstar over the ropes! Not even waiting to see where poor Mann landed, the Meterosexual Monster now turns on Mister Dick. Though rumbling back with full speed, Bo is casually ensared by the waiting arms of The Cocky Prick. With almost inhuman strength, Mister Dick hoists the two hundred seventy five pounder onto his shoulders, and let’s the world marvel at his awesome power. Finally he throws Bo off his shoulder and on the big man’s descent he drives his knees straight into his gut! The fans are distraught, and Zack looks panicked on the ring apron, both watching Bo tumble lifeless onto the canvas. COLE The Cock Block! Smiling broadly, Mister Dick leans back across Bo’s body for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! THREE! A cascade of angered boos rushes down from the stands as Mister Dick only enflames the fiery situation by using his boots to remove Bo from the ring. Standing in rapture is his fellow Cleveland Steamers, scarcely able to stop themselves from pouring into the ring and celebrating their fantastic odds. BUFFER Boheomth has been eliminated! MACKENZIE Can we finally kill the myth that this guy is worth anything? He’s like a guy at a gym telling everyone to clear way so everyone can see his monster dunk, then proceeds to jump only 1inch in the air and fall on his ankle wrong and have 2 guys carry him off the court crying. Though repeated taunts and threats of violence from the Steamers make it seem as though Zack and Krista are pilots about the Hindenburg, the two captains affix their bravest and most resilient looks on their face. The audience still feels the sting of Bohemoth’s elimination, but now throws their full support behind their resolute heroes. COACH Cleveland Steamers came through and shitted on they lives, cuz! Laid feces and excrement on they heart and soul! Straight pulled down the chinos and dropped a deuce on a whole gang of niggas. That’s whats up! Things don’t get off to a rollicking start for the dream team, as Mister Dick grabs onto Krista’s hair and throws her into the ring. Immediately she tries to stand up, but she’s halted by a bombardment of punches from Dickzilla. Abruptly, MD ceases his strikes but this is only to make a savage attempt to choke the life out her. Ignoring the warnings from Buzzlefoxer and the cries of the audience, MD continues to tighten his hold around her neck. Only when Buzzlefoxer threatens a DQ does Mister Dick finally relent. None too pleased about having to stop choking Krista, he expresses his displeasure by spitting on her! COACH I’ma tell you what the Dream Team feels like, right hurr. Its like you simpin on a ho on facebook , then you send a message and she doesn't reply. So you write on her wall where you know she has to see it....and she still doesn't reply...then you see her friends have left messages. But it looks like she hasn't replied to them either...so you take a sigh of relief...only to log back on and see has uploaded new photos...but she still hasn't replied to you...so you send a note to her inbox....and she still hasn't replied...and then you see her at Lennox mall with another guy! FUCK YOU ELLEN HOPKINS! Meanwhile, Mister Dick whips Krista to the ropes. Unexpectedly, she snaps his neck back like a tether with a ferocious diving forearm! Kipping back up at the exact same moment her angered foe gets to his feet, Krista lures him into her. He takes her bait and nearly has his testicles ruptured with an inverted atomic drop! As the horrific pain freezes him in place, he can do nothing to stop her from leaping upwards , collaring her hands around his neck and spiking it off the canvas! The audience applauds with great enthusiasm, as Krista strikes a covergirl pose for the throng of photojournalists. Eager to take advantage of her vanity, Wright runs into the ring. But, The Franchise protects his teammate from harm by wiping out CW with a springboard crossbody block! “YEAAAAA!” Unaware of what just happened with Zack and CW, Krista wonders why both men are laid out, but merely chalks it up to the usual being floored by her beauty, and decides to head to the ropes. Unfortunately, Mann lowers the third cable and the Hollywood starlet is upended out the ring! On sheer luck alone, she’s able to land on her feet, but its an off balance landing and she stumbles into the barricade. Sensing a sliver of vulnerability, Moneymaker targets her with an axe handle smash. But her perceived weakness disappears, and after she glides out the way he slams into the steel guardrail. Draped over the railing, he’s deluged with insults from a decidedly hostile audience. Unlike most performers who would take this moment to try and put their foe through the nearby announce table, Krista is satisfied to gather up whatever refreshments she can from the fans and shove them into Moneymaker’s tights. Once his red tights are filled to capacity with skittles, popcorn, snickers, and hotdogs, she retrieves a chair from the timekeeper area. “Hey Clem, California law says if you don’t close your eyes once per match you get raped by Judd Nelson!” Unable to pass up such good legal advice, Clem shuts his lids and that’s what allows Krista make the ickiest culinary concoction by slamming her steel chair into Moneymaker’s BUTT! Distressed cries of pain and rage fall out his mouth, but are quickly washed away by the uproarious laughter of the audience. While, Moneymaker has to deal with the gooey junk in the trunk, Krista sets up her steel chair inches away from him. Backing towards the other end of the floor gives her the running start she needs to use her tool as a launching pad that sends her scorching to Moneymaker with a double stomp. She comes down across his head with the force of an atom bomb, and with even more deadly precision as she imprints his skull into the concrete floor of the stands. KRISTA & THE FANS Through with celebrating with her fellow Californians, Miss Money In The Bank darts back into the ring. There a Stiff Kick from Mister Dick welcomes her! But she rolls beneath the signature strike, and comes up in front of her corner to make the tag with the Pissed Off Prep! The moment Zack steps into the ring, the newest Deadly Alliance member tries to steamroll him with a polish hammer. But Malibu greets his charge with a knife edge chop, and then hammers away with forearms. His furious attacks collide with MD’s noggin several times before he sends the Human Hard On charging towards the ropes. A blind tag is made by Christian Wright, but that’s of little use to Dick as Zack drills him with a running elbow smash. Zack takes a moment to admire his handiwork which turns out to be costly thanks to CW shocking him with a side Russian leg sweep. He hastily rolls The Franchise to his feet, and shifts position to hook him into a front facelock. A moment later, Malibu is brought into the sky in the makings of a vertical suplex. But, The Franchise refuses to be brought down by Wright and battles out the hold with several knees to the noggin. Besieged by a crippling headache, The Natural hasn’t any other choice but to relinquish his grip on his rival. Back down on his feet, Zack strikes fast and brings the snooty star down to the canvas with a drop toehold! “MALIBU! MALIBU! MALIBU!” While Christian grouses about a possibly broken nose, Malibu rolls across his back and wraps his arms around his head, applying a front facelock and rising to his feet. On the upright, Zack sends a pair of knees into Wright’s sternum and feels his opponent weaken within his grip. With that in mind he attempts to lift Wright up for an impaler DDT. But CW isn’t as weak as Malibu thought and promptly breaks the hold. That’s but a small victory for The Natural as an enraged Franchise begins peeling apart his chest with knife edge chops! But, before the blows can truly leave their searing impact on Wright, he’s granted a reprieve when Mann reaches into the ring and hauls his opponent to the outside. Caught unawares by such foul play, Zack hasn’t the mind to defend himself against the wicked left hands Logan shoots into his face. With the referee distracted by CW’s explaining the theory of evolution, Malibu is left to the merciless assault of the Steamers. After a spinning left hand from Logan leaves him floored, Mister Dick latches onto Zack’s legs. The fans grow heated, hollering numerous threats against Mister Dick should he be so cruel as to harm the company’s poster boy. MD only smiles amidst their complaints and slingshots Malibu against the steel posts! Zack’s head bounces of the harsh metal, creating a clanging sound that’s every bit as chilling as the pained grunts he lets out as he falls back to the floor. On the ring apron, Moneymaker might enjoy such a sight if he weren’t busy trying to clean peanut buttercups out his tights. Logan returns to the ring, and makes a tag with Christian Wright. As Zack is all but removed from the contest, Mann takes it upon himself to taunt Krista over her imminent demise. “Gee, Logan, I’m sure you said something about demise, but all I heard was ‘Damn, I wish my girlfriend didn’t look like a crack addled Kathy Griffin, coming fresh off a gangbang on the set of Mad Max.” Although bloodied, wounded and possibly concussed, Zack won’t allow his injuries to spell his doom and attempts to climb into the ring. But thanks to those maladies his ascent is painfully slow, and its look as though he may fall back to the canvas at any second. He’s given a “helping hand” from Mann, who reaches through the ropes and drags him up onto the ring apron. Once he’s there, the Vegas native tightens him into a front facelock and brings him into the ring with a vertical suplex. He then floats over into a pin… ONE! TWO! Krista breaks up the pin, and earns a grand ovation from her home state crowd. Zack, however, is far from out the woods; Logan begins peppering him with those dangerous left hands. COACH Zack getting tooled on by Logan Mann. Let’s talk about it! Picture a dignified, handsome, Marvin Gaye type brother like Logan being beaten on by a pea-brained nutjob whiteboy like Zack? He an understimulated ass smurfed out lil son-son! LOGAN Able to get his senses back during Logan’s rocking out, Malibu turns onto his knees and uses them to get to an all too unsteady vertical base. Mann isn’t pleased to see Zack back on his feet and punishes him for his insurgence with more left hands. But Malibu shows the same dynamist that made him a three time world champ, and begins fighting back at the rock n wrestling legend. “MALIBU! MALIBU! MALIBU!” the fans and Krista chant. Their support is rewarded by The Franchise as he slams chop after chop against Mann’s pecs. But his offense comes to a sudden halt when Logan fires a knee into his stomach. Crippled by agony, Zack is easily tangled inside a front facelock for a percussion DDT! COLE Oh no! “The end draws near!” Abdullah shouts. But the speaker for the prophets declaration comes to soon; Zack manages to shove Logan back towards the Dream Team’s corner. Krista strikes him with a slap across the face that stumbles him directly towards a School’s Out! But, Logan snaps to life and makes a sharp U-Turn! Unfortunately, he can’t avoid the springboard dropkick Krista sends at his face! Agonized by the sharp heels driven into his face, he haphazardly falls over before Zack catches him and spins him around with an Angle Slam! On his descent Krista laces her arm around his neck to strike him with an inverted DDT Anaheim nearly cheers itself hoarse in reaction to the double team! COLE He got it! He got the Angleslam! Malibu reaches back and grabs onto Logan’s leg in a cover. ONE! TWO! THREE! BUFFER Logan Mann has been eliminated The Steamers can hardly believe what’s transpired before their eyes, the four on two advantage they had has dwindled to a shaky 3 on 2 matchup. None of the 3 warriors can find the words to describe the wretchedness Logan’s loss has left with their team. The Natural is the first into the ring for his team, and puts Malibu back on the defensive with an elbow drop. Wright then stands up, and brings his foe with him. Malibu begins pelting him with light body blows, but that surge is easily cut short by CW with a knee to the head. With Malibu now subdued, Wright ensnares both of his arms into a butterfly lock and tangles his leg behind Malibu’s. Trapped inside a deadly submission hold, Zack grunts in frustration, as Moneymaker demands he submit. But, Zack strives with incredible vigor to bust free of CW’s submission, but with his every limb under lock and key making it to the ropes is near impossible. Thus he’s forced to suffer a slow death at CW’s hands. COLE Wright and Zack have been at odds many times before, first during the Upstarts feud and now during the In Crowd’s war with The Enterprise. And it looks like CW might win the battle tonight. “Strong men wax weak when stronger men prove unbeatable, eh Zachary?” Wright hollers and gets boos from the audience. Sadly, his haughty demeanor is wrecked by the wonderful image of Miss Money In The Bank performing a “boobie shimmy”. Operating in unified seduction, her torso and shoulders swing side to side, letting her bouncing breasts wash a tidal wave of pleasure over the audience, and Christian. Pleasure soon becomes pain, however, as Zack takes advantage of his distractedness and hip tosses him over! Instantly, CW leaps back upwards to try and reclaim his hold on Zack. But, Malibu dives around him and applies the tag to Miss California! There’s a thundering song of cheers from Krista’s homestate audience as she enters the ring. And these roaring fans scream even louder when she knocks CW over with a leg lariat. With a hand on his aching face, he stumbles upright and gets thrown into the ropes with an Irish whip! On the rebound, Krista catches him in the stomach with a spinning back kick. She then nails her hobbling foe with a beautiful dropsault and lands perfectly on her high heels. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” the fans chant as the California idol bows towards her loving fans. Moneymaker cuts short her celebration by brandishing her with right hands. As the fans boo his intrusion, his fists bulldoze her towards a neutral corner. He weakens her with a pair of elbows to the throat before whipping her to the opposite corner. She hits the ring posts with such awesome force that she wobbles backwards and falls right into his arms. Her opponent lifts her up for a back suplex, but the sex kitten slithers down his back. He hasn’t a moment to curse her counter before her tanned legs are slamming into him with a spinning wheel kick. The fans delight in watching him go shoulder first into the steel post, and are even more pleased when he clumsily tumbles to the outside mats. COLE Is it just me or do the rules only seem to apply half the time when Clem referees? MACKENZIE That’s because he only remembers the rules half the time. Lending credence to Cole’s theory, Mister Dick enters the ring to attempt to decapitate Krista with a Stiff Kick! Though she ducks his signature strike, he still hits paydirt by managing to connect with an unmindful Malibu! Boos fill the arena as the OAOAST poster boy is abruptly dumped to ringside. Adding insult to injury, the former Aggie stands at the edge of the ropes and pretends to masturbate over Zack’s fallen corpse. “BOOOOOOO!” “We live in a terrible, terrible culture. Ya don’t like your spouse, divorce em and take half their assets. Ya don’t like someone you’ve only had 30 seconds of interaction with, kick them in the face and masturbate on them.” Miss Money In The Bank mulls over the odd scene. With philosophizing out the way, Krista gets some revenge for Zack by striking MD with a dropkick. Propelled through the ropes, he’s only able to save himself from Zack’s fate with a tenuous grip on the apron. As he brings himself up, Krista runs to the ropes in order to springboard at him with a dropkick. But Moneymaker brings a violent end to these plans through grabbing onto her ankles and throwing her back to the canvas! The audience admonishes him for his cruelty, but he only turns to them with an innocent shrug. COLE For someone who wrestles once every four months, Moneymaker sure is a crafty SOB. COACH He went to Yale, for Pete’s sake, he could probably figure out how to win the tag team titles with a tit mouse as a partner, using only fireman carries. The Billion Dollar rushes back into the ring with an elbow aimed at his fallen foe’s head. She whimpers in distress, but knowing no help is coming, manages to get herself upright. The Messiah batters her with closed fists, lighting her up with an expert combination of rights and left. But, Krista stuns both he and the fans by whirling around and catching him into a rear waistlock. Despite her incredible fitness model strength she can’t keep Moneymaker under control for a German Suplex, and he wheels out the hold to throw her over with a belly to belly suplex! Leaping to his feet, he mocks Anglesault by dancing in circles and whooooing into the Honda Center sky. “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” Through a hold on her slinky top, Moneymaker lifts Krista off the canvas. He leaves her dizzied with a trio of elbows to the back of the head, before taking off to the ropes. Returning with a lariat, he finds she’s not as bad off as he remembered; the blond beauty catches onto his arm, and uses it to hold him in place as she tears into his stomach with knees. But, suddenly Moneymaker tucks his arm between his legs and swings her over with an Angle Slam! To gasps of immense horror and dread Krista is thrown down onto the ground by the former GM’s finisher. COLE Oh my! We could be looking at 3 on 1 odds for Zack right here. That is not good. Moneymaker hooks Krista’s leg for what he believes will be her final three seconds in this match. ONE! TWO! THRENOZACKBREAKSITUP! YEAAAAAAAA!” Past the wild cheers is the gravely voice of Theodore Moneymaker, lambasting the referee for not doing more to prevent Zack’s intrusion. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA” the fans bleat as their fellow Golden Stater slowly tries to stagger off the mat. She can’t draw on their support, however, as Moneymaker keeps her week carefully measured body blows. He then clasps onto her arm and throws her at the ropes. The cables spit her back right into a diving lariat from the Yale alum. Moving with great haste, he dives on her for another fall… ONE! TWO! Krista’s left shoulder comes off the canvas, stunning Moneymaker into a silence of disbelief. Without so much as a vexed glance towards Clem, Moneymaker grabs Krista by the arm and guides her to his corner. Upon reaching his destination, he applies the tag with The Human Hard On. Entering the ring, MD measures her for the perfect punch, and then throws her against the mat with a lethal uppercut. As his eyes devour Krista’s prone body, he licks his lips over the harm he can cause her. Dropping down to his knees, he intends to turn fantasy into reality and suffocates her with an illegal choke. “Come on,bitch! Say my name! Say my name!” he shouts, totally shunning the official’s warnings. Finally he relinquishes his harsh choke on Krista, leaving her hacking and wheezing on the mat. She hasn’t much time to recoup her breath before the Cocky Prick brings her upright and digs his fingers into her bright blue eyes. Short of breath and nearly blinded, she’s easily whipped into the cables. But as she comes back, she experiences a burst of strength and leaps into her foe to bring him down across her knees with a KIDology (Codebreaker)! COLE Mister Dick just got inducted into the church of KIDology! A mammoth shout of joy rises from the throats of the fans, and Zack pumps his fist in early celebration while Mister Dick rolls over onto the canvas. Krista tries to fulfill their bubbly expectations and pins her hated adversary. ONE TWO! Mister Dick kicks out and an entire arena is left shocked and deflated. While Krista is left to try and piece together how she failed to finish off MD, he decides not to tempt fate any further and crawls away to tag CW. The Natural rushes into the ring and accosts Krista with European uppercuts across the throat. Feeling her weakened by his favorite strikes, the DC native tries to whip her into the corner. But she catches him by surprise and reverses the hold. But he recovers from his shock soon enough to leap onto the ropes to avoid a grizzly collision with the posts. Without wasting a single moment Wrights comes flying off with a forearm! But Krista counters his attack by stabbing her boot into his midsection. He’s hobbled over by the attack, and effortlessly trapped into side headlock. From there the popular starlet swings around and gives CW a taste of Life In The Fab Lane (twist of fate)! “YEAAAAAA!” screams her legion of Golden Staters, coming to life as Krista lays her arm across MD for a vital fall… ONE! TWO! Somehow, CW kicksout! But just getting his shoulder off the canvas, seems to have drained Wright of precious energy and lies spent on the canvas. But, Krista can’t capitalize on his weakness, mortally exhausted herself from the hellish contest. Yet, she can’t take the same time to recover as CW due to Moneymaker returning to the contest to terrorize her with stomps. COLE Now this is ridiculous! Come on, Clem! CLEM Hey! I don’t go to a glory hole and tell you how to suck dick, so you don’t tell me how to do my job! COLE Meanwhile in the ring Moneymaker heads to the ropes, intending on hitting Miss Money In The Bank with a billion dollar kneelift. But he can’t even bounce off the cables before Zack lowers them and causes him to take a cataclysmic tumble to ringside. While the audience cheers Moneymaker’s downfall, their heroine is put down by a bulldog! Quickly, Wright scrambles to the top rope, and forgoing all grandiose prelude, flies off with a frog splash. The Honda Center is overjoyed to watch The Natural plow into Krista’s raised knees! Joining their cheers in the arena soundtrack are Wright’s pained screams as he bounces away from Krista. COACH Naw, man! How you gonna miss ya move like that? How you gonna miss ya move, son? Equally as perturbed is Wright, who lies face down on the canvas, uttering profanities that haven’t been heard since Taming of the Shrew was first enacted. Krista is every bit as fatigued, all the bones in her body feeling has heavy and impossible to move as solid steel. She’d like nothing more than to reach her corner for a much needed tag with Zack, but her burned out body won’t even being to cooperate with her. “LET’S GO KRISTA! LET’S GO KRISTA! LET’S GO KRISTA!” COLE Southern California getting behind its homestate hero! MACKENZIE Only because they know if they don’t, her congressmen daddy will introduce legislation to raise taxes by a billion percent. There’s some life left in Krista; she brings her arm off the canvas, shaking it as though she were trying to will all the strength in the world to come to her. The audience sees her admirable sprit and increases the volume behind their already loud chants. Off to the side, Wright is forced to rely on his own will and the ropes as his support. Though, paltry they combine in bringing him to his feet. As the fans reach their loudest point yet, Krista finds her footing. Wishing to draw first blood, she rushes across the ring and leaps at Wright for her KIDology. But, Christian counters her in mid leap and leads her into the air for a Wright Off! However, she locks her lovely legs around his neck and hauls him downwards in a hurricanrana into a pinfall! Buzzlefoxer drops down to score the fall as the audience explodes with glee. ONE! TWO! THREE! “YEAAAAAAAAA!” BUFFER Christian Wright has been eliminated! COLE The Dream Team has even upped the odds and turned a dream matchup into a nightmare for The Steamers! Moneymaker hasn’t the slightest clue how to continue; he doesn’t know whether to bury his head into his hands and cry, or to use those hands to plug his ears in protection from raucous ovation of the Honda Center. Unnoticed by Moneymaker in his bewilderment, is an outraged Wright procuring a chair form beneath ringside. Very much aware of Wright’s actions, the audience blasts him with heat as he enters the ring. Their words change from that of hatred to that of warning as he winds up to take a swing at Krista. But she ducks bellow his incoming attack and the metal object slams into Buzzlefoxer’s head! “OOOOOH!” reacts the audience as the 86 year old capsizes to the canvas. MACKENZIE That’s what you get for that glory hole crack. God don’t like ugly, Clem. Wright hasn’t the slightest bit of concern for the fact he may have killed the oldest person in the OAOAST. Instead he directs all his energy and focus to turning around and smashing Krista in the back with his chair! Krista crumbles to the canvas, hollering as agony bursts all across her back. There’s no chance for CW to celebrate as Malibu wipes him out with a diving forearm! The two exchange punches, jumbled in a tangled heap that rolls them straight out the ring. After hitting the floor they both speed to their feet, but Zack isn’t quick enough to best CW and The Natural punts him in the testicles with a brutal kick! “BOOOOOO!” the fans hiss at CW, as Zack is left paralyzed by the pain that explodes throughout his netheregions. “Though my flame in this blazing fire has been extinguished, you Zachary Malibu, you will find that your end is neigh!” Wright shouts over his shoulder, sulking back up the ramp. MACKENZIE So much for those evened up odds. Life is so, so good when you’re bad! Meanwhile inside the ring, Mister Dick dives upon Krista for a fall. COLE What is he doing? There’s no referee. How wrong you are! Allison comes charging down the ramp, attired in referee garb. Met with a chorus of jeers and disdain, she slides into the ring to make Krista’s loss official… ONE! TWO! Krista kicks out of certain defeat, drawing a grandoise shout of happiness from the audience. Their noise level is amazing, a huge outpouring of cheers and chants, all with the single task of bringing about a victory for the walk of famer. COLE The Dream Team is hanging on, somehow they’re hanging on! The support of the audience is an invigorating potion that restores Krista with the life she needs to get upright. Unfortunately for her fresh foe does the same, with full intention on bringing his rival’s time in the match to an end. Mister Dick pounces on her and bombs forearms across her back that permit him to irish whip her to the corner. Moneymaker now enters the ring to try and lacerate her with a lariat. But she thrills her homestate, by rolling beneath his arm. While the Billion Dollar Heir is nauseated by his violent crash, Krista unfurls her body and lays out MD with a high knee lift. Just as Moneymaker is beginning to recover, Krista closes the gap between them and knocks him over with her buns of steel! Terribly exhausted from this latest burst of energy, she makes a mad dash to her corner to tag in The Franchise before collapsing! “YEAAAAAAA!” comes the mighty scream of the audience, and even though Moneymaker doesn’t see Zack he knows well enough to make a hasty retreat. Thankfully his escape is given aid by Allison who runs interference by lecturing Zack on his many personality flaws. Of course Zack isn’t keen on being dressed down, and brushes Allison, still screaming, aside. But Allison’s annoyance worked to Mister Dick’s benefit as he’s able to meet Zack with a pair of left hands. But the blows are taken in stride by the POP and he comes back with left hands of his own! Realizing the punches are doing nothing to hurt Zack, MD launches a lariat at him. But Malibu ducks and the errant strikes cause MD to go in a clumsy twirl. Unable to regain his balance Mister Dick is forced onto Zack’s shoulders in a standing fireman’s carry. COLE What does the In Crowd founder have in store? Whatever it is, Mister Dick wants no part of it and furiously elbows Zack in the head. Though Malibu tries to hold strong, the culminated damage of the attacks proves too much and he finally relinquishes the Human Hard On. But Zack doesn’t go on the defensive, instead throwing out a snap School’s Out! Yet, Mister Dick catches the Preppy’s boot and throws it back down to the canvas. Having thrown Zack off a little bit, MD grabs onto his arm and whips him into the corner. He runs right after him and leaps upwards to ram his Shiny Metal Dick right down Malibu’s throat! COLE The Deadly Alliance’s newest member just laid right into the In Crowd leader, and you know Alfdogg is sitting backstage loving that. As Zack comes staggering out from his position in the corner wounded by a severe headache, Mister Dick leaps onto the top rope. He makes a dick sucking motion to an elderly lady in the front row, and once that disgusting bit of business is over dives off the top rope to bring Malibu down with a shoulder tackle. Mister Dick then stretches across Zack for a fall… ONESUPERFAST! TWOSUPERFAST! Zack’s left shoulder finds its way off the canvas! Angered, MD smashes his hand against the mat, feeling that an already unfairly fast count wasn’t fast enough. Allison is unmoved by MD’s complaints and orders him to finish off Zack. The problem is Malibu is pushing onto all fours, with a wild look clouding his eyes. MD snarls in defiance and charges him, but Zack pounces forward and dives to the side to roll him up with a school boy! ONE! TWO! Moneymaker breaks up the pinfall, and then exits the ring as fast as his feet will carry him. Still wishing to lay hands on The Messiash, Zack runs after him with the mania of a feral wolf. But his chase is cut short when MD snares him into a full nelson and gives him Pure Penetration! COLE He hit it! Mister Dick hooks Zack’s leg for a pinfall SUPERFASTONE! SUPERFASTTWO! SUPERFASTHREE...NO! The crowd roars, and Mister Dick can hardly believe his horrible luck. He gets up and approaches Allison again, then waves her off and forgets about it, pulling Zack back up and hitting him with a second Pure Penetration! MACKENZIE So nice, he had to do it twice. Mister Dick makes another cover, and Allison makes another ultra fast count. SUPERFASTONE! SUPERFASTTWO! SUPERFASTHREE! FOOT ON THE ROPES! COLE The Dream Team is still in this contest! The fans are on their feet and so is The Human Hard On. But while they may cheer their lungs out, Mister Dick is tearing his hair out in a mad fury. At Allison’s behest, he let’s go of his hair to grab hold of Zack’s and bring the prep to his feet. He throws Malibu to the ropes, and lowers his head, expecting to be leapfrogged. But The Franchise throws him for a loop and kicks him in the chest! MD rockets upright, screaming in pain. But his shouts are muffled into silence when Zack corrals him into an inside cradle. ONE! Moneymaker into the ring! TWO! But Krista dropkicks him away! It doesn’t matter however as Mister Dicks pops out the unexpected pin on a well delayed two count by Allison. COLE Dammit this isn’t fair! Malibu could never have enough patience to argue with Allison over her miserable officiating, and so instead continues to battle MD. He drags him up by his curly brown hair, but halfway up, the Cocky Prick blasts his foe with a low blow. As the fans boo the lowdown tactic, MD takes a step back to admire his treachery. Done with self congratulating he sends his foot forward in a School’s Out! But Zack ducks the finisher theft and runs beneath the former Aggie’s lanky leg. As MD turns around to get a bead on Zack, the former world champ clocks him with the School’s Out! The fans come unglued for the legendary finisher as Zack drops down onto The Cocky Prick for the pivotal fall. COACH Come on, Mister Dick! You gotta kick out! Actually, no he doesn’t, as Allison flat out refuses to perform a count. No excuses. No pretending to see a fly. She simply refuses to count. These shenanigans devour any chivalry Zack once had, and his eyes blaze with ill intent towards Allison. Thankfully for his good guy image Krista does the dirty work and spears her to the canvas! The lovely ladies roll across the ring and dump themselves to the outside. Allison isn't any match for the 4 time tag champion, and against her will is slung across Krista's knee. Cackling with mischievous glee, Krista arches back with her right hand brings it across Allison's BUTT! Then sudden she reaches back once more and delivers another stroke over Allison's ass. Krista continues to spank Allison at will, while Zack's former lady love shrieks for help that will never come. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Zack’s enjoyment of raunchy show is snuffed out when The Billion Dollar Heir strikes him from behind with a running axe handle smash. COLE Here we go! Zack Malibu and Theodore Moneymaker hooking up for the first time since Angleslam! Round 2 of Malibu/Moneymaker, goes the Billion Dollar Heir’s way as he manages to push Zack into the corner with a flood of elbow strikes. Moneymaker then punishes his archenemies with furious knees to the gut that leave Zack weak and nauseous. He sezies on Zack’s vulnerability by hooking him into a front facelock for the Spear Of Longinus! But The Messiah can’t keep his hold for more than a few seconds before Malibu’s regained strength allows him to power out his grip . Now free of Moneymaker, The Franchise tags him with a rapid fire series of jabs! COLE That’s gotta feel good for Zack! Unfortunately the joy isn’t long lasting; Moneymaker puts an end to Zack’s flurry with a jawbreaker. Attempting to finish Zack before he can gain his second wind, Moneymaker pounces on her with the Bank Vault sleeper hold. The affects of the signature move are immediate, a painful constricting of his breathing. This is more then a mere rest hold, for Zack this is onerous battle to remain conscious. Moneymaker does his effort to stay awake no favors cranking on his neck as roughly as his strength will allow. The supportive crowd continues the task of rallying the babyface, singing his name. Drawing strength from their kindness, The Franchise hammers his elbows against Moneymaker’s stomach. At first they have little effect but overtime they serve to weaken once epic restraints, and Zack breaks free of the finisher! COLE He’s out! Zack stuns Moneymaker with an inverted atomic drop that doubles him over, then hits the ropes. As Zack comes off, his feet come off the canvas, and the point of his knee is headed for the side of Moneymaker’s head...The Messiah avoids certain concussion by sliding his head out the way and Malibu whiffs on the Zack Attack attempt. Moneymaker takes a moment to breath a sigh of relief, and once his breath is caught he grabs Malibu in a front facelock for the Spear of Longinus. But Malibu angrily shoves him back that sends the deadly School’s Out his way! Moneymaker dives backwards as if he were trying to escape the swipe of a grizzly bear. And with Zack snarling at him like that very animal, the tycoon realizes its best to let Malibu have this victory. Thus with his health relatively intact he slides beneath the ropes, and hastily retreats up the ramp. Though he hangs his head in defeat, he's at least content with the knowledge he'll live to fight Zack another day. “BOOOOOOO!” hisses the audience as Zack leans over the ropes and demands he return with a voice full of fire. As Moneymaker continues his trek without even acknowledging his calls to action, Zack sees he has no choice but to fetch his foe himself. But, his mission is put on hold by Mister Dick coming in and dropkicking him in the side of the face! MACKENZIE We’re still in this, or so it would seem. MD waits for Malibu to stand, and when he does, The Human Hard On surges forward to connect with the Stiff Kick! Down goes Zack crumpling as though a sword was just driven through his face. Mister Dick dives on top of him, looking to close the book on this match once and for all. Referee Charles Robinson slides into the ring to make the count… ONE! TWO! A returning Krista breaks up the fall, bringing a gigantic eruption from the city of Anaheim, and an eruption of anger from Mister Dick that materlizes as him lunging at tanned goddess! But, he falls right into Krissy’s trap; her legs jump into his upper body and her knees cave in his chest with the KIDology! While the audience continues to sing with joy, Krista rolls him onto his back to win this war… ONE! TWO! MISTER DICK KICKSOUT! COLE I don’t believe it! I don’t believe it! The fans fall back into their seats, unable to comprehend the incredible fight Mister Dick has shown tonight. More hopeful than Anaheim is Miss California, who drags MD off the canvas. Krista traps the still stunned Real American Dick into a butterfly suplex, but though she has the will, she’s lacking the strength to suplex him over. Her futile efforts cost her dearly; Mister Dick powers out of her grip to hoist onto his broad shoulders. “You gonna get cock blocked, bitch!” Mister Dick bellows to wrathful booing of the audience. COACH It’s that time! But Mister Dick’s finisher is interrupted by a School’s Out that impacts precisely with his chin! Eyes roll back into his head, blood flies from his mouth, and the 6’4 powerhouse topples over with Krista landing on top of him. COLE That could be the biggest School’s Out of the night! Zack and the audience hold their breath and hope against all hope as they watch Robinson count this latest fall… ONE! TWO! THREE!!! MACKENZIE 35 minutes next to Michael Cole, just to watch my team blow a 4 on 2 lead. Could it have been any worse? I suppose I could’ve spent 45 minutes next to Michael Cole. COLE I also could’ve been naked. And erect! A shout of euphoria comes from the stands and the rocks the arena to its very core. The Franchise falls to his knees, overwhelmed by feelings of small joy for the victory, and extreme disappointment over Moneymaker’s cowardly escape. Krista tries to cheer Zack out of his doldrums, but nothing short of Moneymaker’s lifeless body at his feet could bring a smile to the In Crowd leader’s face COLE They did it. Zack Malibu and Krista Isadora Duncan came form behind to overcome the odds and pull off a miracle. What a triumph from our biggest male star and our biggest female star! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the survivors of this contest…ZACK MALIBU AND KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN! The remaining members of The Dream Team enter to fantastic cheers the OAOAST Marks. Bo helps up Zack up and gives him the most non-homosexual hug he can manage. The Blonds check on Krista’s health and Ned offers profuse apologies Krista plays nice and doesn’t wonder why of all the things Ned should apologize for, he picks a DQ in a wrestling match. With the two survivors in good health, the Dream Team joins hands and lifts their arms in exultant celebration. The standing audience does the same, cheering as loud as their voices will allow as red white and blue conffietti rains beautifully down from the ceiling.

I'll have the 5 on 5 match done later tonight, I swear. I didn't realize how busy the weekend would be here.

The bell sounds to signal the start of the action, and from across the ring, Malibu locks eyes with the captain of the opposition. Everyone on Malibu's team clears out to a loud pop, and Malibu gets in the ready position, waving Moneymaker on. Looking disgusted by Malibu's bravery, Moneymaker clears his team out, telling them to get out on the apron. All four do so, and Moneymaker rolls his wrists, ready to lock up...then turns around and tags in Christian Wright! COLE Oh come on, already with the cowardice! COACH Cowardice? That's one of the smartest men in the world, Mikey Cole. Why should he have to get his hands dirty right off the bat? That's the team captain! Wright dashes in, and he and Malibu lock up before Malibu can protest Moneymaker's backing down. The two struggle for position, and Zack sends Wright to the ropes, then drops down onto his stomach. Wright goes over him, and Zack comes up then leapfrogs over him on the rebound charge. Wright hits the ropes a third time, and Zack nails him with a beautiful dropkick! Wright dusts himself off and comes up, but Zack follows with a charging clothesline to put him over the ropes and out to the floor, then turns to the corner and shouts for Moneymaker to come at him...and Teddy responds by sending in Logan Mann! Logan charges in, a bit overzealous, and gets hiptossed over by Zack. He gets up, but walks right into an inverted atomic drop, then thrown overhead with a belly to belly suplex! Aching, Logan rolls out under the bottom rope, and now Moneymaker is pissed, as he, Synth and Dick hop off the apron to regroup with CW and Mann. COLE Malibu took this match, hoping that he would finally get his hands on the man hellbent on ruining his reputation, but Moneymaker is sure doing his best to avoid that confrontation! Just as flustered as his captain, Mister Dick hops up on the apron and mouths off to Malibu before stepping through the ropes. Zack, all too eager to take on the former Gunslinger ties up with him, but finds himself shoved down to the canvas! The crowd boos as Mister Dick pounds his chest in triumph. Zack gets up and SHOVES Dick, drawing his ire, then rolls under a clothesline attempt! He pulls Dick into a headlock, but gets shoved off towards the ropes. Malibu comes off and leapfrogs over Dick, then makes a quick tag to Bo as he hits the far side! When Zack rebounds, he slides through Dick's legs, and Dick drops his head as to not lose track of Malibu...but when he comes up, it is he who is blasted with a hard lariat, as Bohemoth bursts into the ring! COLE Nice, quick tagging and teamwork there by the member of The In Crowd! Bo gets Dick and hurls him into the corner, then charges in with a shoulderblock to the ribs...but Dick gets a knee up, and Bo eats it! The Metrosexual Monster staggers back, and Dick pushes himself up onto the middle rope...but Bo races towards him and hurls him down to the canvas with a military slam! COLE I bet Dick is sore after that! COACH That's not the first time you've said that tonight, is it? Angered, Dick stands up, favoring the small of his back, then tags in Christian Wright once again. The man who brought Bohemoth to the OAOAST in the first place comes into the ring and goes eye to eye with his old charge, then slaps him across the face, telling him "you're here because of ME!" Caught off guard, Bo snickers at the slap, then wraps his hands around Wright's throat and lifts him off his feet into a hanging tree choke...but Wright rakes the eyes to save himself! He clubs Bo across the back, then readies him for a suplex...but the big man puts the brakes on! Second attempt is a failure as well, but then Bo reverses, lifting him up for a suplex but throwing him down face first! Wright reels from the toss, but as Bo moves in for him, he quickly uses a go-behind and shoves Bo into the heel corner, where all four of Wright's teammates lean over the ropes and get their licks in! The Blondes, Zack and Krista all protest, but all referee Clem does is issue a stern warning over the infraction, and backs away as Wright finally gets off his suplex, taking Bo to the canvas. Wright then stands up and rakes the laces of his boot across Bo's eyes, then runs the ropes and drops an elbow on the prone big man. Wright then rolls to his feet and tags in Logan Mann, the Macho Macho Mann himself! Bo gets doubled over by a kick to the gut, and then Mann quickly tags in Synth. The Heavenly Rockers now double up on Bo, sending him to the ropes and using their combined strength to press him up and then hotshot him on the top rope! Bo then gets dumped by a double clothesline, and The Rockers celebrate by taunting the crowd, then turning and blocking the referee's view as Dick hops off the apron and scoop slams Bo on the floor, then puts the boots to him! COLE What a dick! COACH That's MISTER Dick to you! The Beverly Hills Blondes rush the ring, moving fast past the ref and brawling it out with the Heavenly Rockers! Christian Wright comes over and aids Dick in stomping on Bo, but they don't notice Malibu race across the apron and nail the BOTH of them with an Apron Run Diving DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE~! Moneymaker is furious, kicking at the guardrail on the outside, and turns around just in time to see Krista launch herself over with a pescado, wiping him out as well! COLE The Dream Team is taking control! COACH Well the referee certainly isn't! Who the hell is legal anymore!? The Blondes have the Rockers set in opposite corners, and call out to each other before sending their foes running...but the Rockers reverse, sending the Blondes crashing into each other! Or not, as Simon leapfrogs over Ned, landing with a Thesz press onto Logan, while Ned tackles Synth to the ground, and both Blondes go to town on the Rockers as the crowd goes wild! COLE Listen to that, Coach. A sound we never thought we'd hear...the crowd is going CRAZY for the Beverly Hills Blondes! Growing frustrated with his inability to keep all hell from breaking loose, Clem Buzzlefoxer pries Ned Blachard up, or at least does his best to get the BHB member out of the ring, and urges Simon to get out as well. The Rockers protest, but as they do, Bohemoth comes back into the ring a little more perturbed, and spears the hell out of Synth! Logan then gets sent over the top by his head, crashing hard at the floor below! Bo whips Synth to the corner and hits a brutal charging corner clothesline, then tags in Krista, who slingshots over into a monkey flip that sends shivers up Synth's tailbone when he lands! Grunting, Synth gets up and turns around...right into a Blue Ball Special, causing his jaw to drop and a scream of agony to emit from his mouth, the likes of which hasn't been heard since Paris Hilton's The Hottie and The Nottie was released upon the moviegoing audience! COACH I'll say this, Mikey Cole, that's one way to take control! COLE I doubt ol' Clem is about to try that one, though. Synth takes a wild swing, but Krista ducks while still holding on to his flesh colored Christmas ornaments. Finally, he grabs her by the hair and snaps her down to the canvas, then hobbles away, tagging in Mister Dick! Krista's nemesis comes in and brings her up, smiling as he presses her over his head...but showboating too much and allowing her to escape! Krista runs him towards the ropes and tries to roll him up, but Dick hangs on, and Krista winds up rolling backwards on her own! Dick rushes her and tries for his patented running boot...but Krista ducks it! The feisty femme fatale hits the ropes and leaps onto Dick's shoulders, but he pulls her up as she tries to bring him over with a rana, leaving himself with a view of what many, MANY men long for. Krista, not happy with the positioning, hammers down on Dick's temple with her fist, releasing herself from his grasp and falling to her feet. Krista then connects with a strike, followed up by a second and a third, and the crowd roars as she reaches for her compact mirror...but a dazed Dick snaps out of it just in time to knock the mirror out of her hand and step on it! The crowd LETS HIM HAVE IT for that one, and so does Krista, as she rears back for the final Vanity Punch...but Dick grabs her wrist and doubles her over with a knee, then hoists her up and drops her across it with a gutbuster! Dick then pulls her up and hoists her into the air, letting the blood rush to her head as she's held upside down for nearly half a minute before being dropped to the canvas! Mister Dick gets up and tags in Theodore Moneymaker, who finally enters the contest as a legal participant, and drops a fist between Krista's eyes, then goes for the cover! ONE! T-NO! COLE It's nice to see the team captain ready to get his hands dirty! Moneymaker brings Krista up and sends her to his corner, then works her over with several back elbows. He sets her up on the top rope, but as he climbs up, she starts firing back, knocking him off! The leader of The Enterprise lands on his feet, but Krista leaps over him, doing a tuck and roll as she lands and comes up in her corner, tagging in Zack! COACH Oh...oh no... Moneymaker turns around, and all he sees is a blur of blue and gold as Malibu is racing towards him...and Moneymaker dives out of the ring! Zack gives chase, and as Moneymaker rounds the corner, both Beverly Hills Blondes hop off the apron and block his path! Moneymaker begs off, trying to gain some sympathy from the reformed rulebreakers. When that doesn't work, he turns around, coming eye to eye with Zack! Moneymaker quickly rolls back into the ring to avoid Malibu, and tags in Synth of the Heavenly Rockers, drawing a tremendous amount of boos as he's again successfully avoided Malibu! COLE I certainly hope this isn't considered leading by example, because it doesn't speak well for the confidence level of the Gang of Five! COACH It's brilliance, Mikey Cole. It's ring generalmanship. COLE Is that even a word? COACH How should I know? Cool people don't carry around dictionaries. Synth comes in and goes after Zack, but Malibu sidesteps him and lets him come off the ropes. Zack looks for a hiptoss, but Synth blocks, then swings around Zack's back and pulls him down with a backslide! ONE! Malibu breaks free of the hold and rolls over to his feet, but is soon grabbed by Synth. Before he can be sent to the ropes, Malibu uses his free hand to knock Synth's grip away, then blasts him with a pair of European uppercuts, but misses an enzugiri attempt! Synth drops an elbow, but Zack rolls out of the way of that, and then the two come up, with Zack dazing him with jabs, one after the other, until nailing another European uppercut that puts the Rocker on his back! Malibu then bounces off the ropes and goes for a bulldog as Synth comes up, but Synth stays grounded and throws Malibu off! Synth leans over and tags in Logan, and together the Rockers utilize their tag team expertise, both hitting a kick to the gut and then yanking Malibu down to the canvas. Logan then lifts Synth as if for an atomic drop, but drops his partner into a legdrop on Malibu! Synth heads back to the corner as Logan takes over, striking Zack with a couple of punches to daze him before sending him into motion, bound for a crash into the corner! Malibu takes the impact hard, and Logan comes running with a back elbow that nails Malibu! The former World Champion finds himself snapmared over into a seated position, then Logan hops up on the middle rope and leaps over Malibu, bringing his head forward as gravity brings him down! COLE Necksnap off the middle rope, and the Rockers are having their way with Zack Malibu. COACH They've had their way with everyone in their path...their rock stars! COLE Coach, I think you and I are on two TOTALLY different wavelengths right now. Logan brings Zack up and whacks him across the back of the neck, then hooks an inverted facelock. He tugs at Malibu's waistband and brings him over for a reverse suplex...but Malibu allows the momentum to carry him over and lands on his feet! He hooks a rear waistlock quickly and brings Logan down to the canvas, then stays on top of him as he struggles to get up, striking him with hard crossface shots! Synth comes charging in to break it up, but Zack spears him down when he sees him coming, and then mounts his shoulders, nailing him with hard elbow smashes! Clem urges Zack to get up and stop beating on the illegal man, and Malibu obliges. He turns around and tries for a lariat on Logan, but Logan ducks it and reaches back, snapping Malibu with a neckbreaker! He goes to the corner and tags in Christian Wright, and the INTENSE~! intellectual comes in, first striking Malibu with chops before sending him to the ropes and nailing him with a high knee! Wright then pulls Malibu up and uses an arm wrench, followed by another blistering chop, and then a European uppercut to knock Zack against the ropes! He pulls Zack to the middle of the ring and tries for a butterfly lock, but Zack counters with a fireman's carry and throws him over! Before Zack gets up though, Wright grabs him in a side headlock and takes him down to the mat, but Zack kicks his legs up and scissors Wright's head, using them to pull him off! The two technical wizards come up to the their feet and tie up, with Zack using a go behind, but Christian breaks free and hiptosses Zack over! He leans over to get at Zack, but Malibu kicks him off, and again, both men come up to their feet. Wright charges, and Zack sidesteps him, allowing him to bounce off the ropes. Zack leapfrogs his charge, then spins around just in time to nail Wright with a dropkick that catches him flush on the chin! Wright struggles to his feet and as Malibu charges, he drops back down, sending Zack over the ropes...NO! Zack hangs on, and lands on the apron! He launches himself into the ring with a springboard lariat, but Wright dropkicks him in the ribs on the way down! Zack comes up clutching his ribcage, and Wright plants him with a DDT, then covers and hooks the leg! ONE! TW-KICKOUT! Wright rolls Zack to his feet, and drags him to his corner, where Mister Dick gets tagged back in! Wright puts Zack in an abdominal stretch, allowing Dick to clobber Zack across his exposed ribs! Dick then hooks Zack in a bearhug and wrenches his thick arms around Malibu, squeezing the air out of his body and putting pressure on his ribs! Over in the Dream Team's corner, all four of Zack's teammates lead the rally, stomping and clapping and holding their hands out, hoping that Malibu can perservere and make a tag! COLE Malibu's been getting worked over for a little while now, and he'd best get the tag to remain as fresh as possible. With all ten competitors still in this, we've got a long way to go tonight! Zack struggles, but Dick runs him backwards into the heel corner, ramming his back into the turnbuckles, then drags him towards the middle of the ring and applies the bearhug again! Malibu squirms but can't break free, so he does all that he can muster...and headbutts Mister Dick right in the face! Dick covers his face with his hands, thus unable to see Malibu recover and nail him with a bicycle kick! Malibu then hits the ropes, and when he does, Moneymaker lifts his knee up, driving it into the small of his back! Angered, Malibu lunges for him, but Moneymaker hops off the apron again, only to be grabbed by the Beverly Hills Blondes! The BHB grab Moneymaker and roll him in to a big pop! Malibu waits for him, but Mister Dick nails Zack from behind as he waits, then takes Malibu and hurls him out to the floor. Dick goes after him, but the Blondes have Moneymaker in the ring, sending him into the ropes and both sending him up and down with a high back bodydrop! A double dropkick follows, and then Moneymaker gets sent into the corner, while Ned then whips Simon in, nailing the main man of The Enterprise with a corner splash before whipping him out of the corner, right into a Simon spinebuster! The crowd is electric as the Blondes have unleashed the fucking fury on the Most Hated Man in the OAOAST...but now Clem is waving them off, and calls for the bell to be rung! COACH Ha! He counted Zack out I bet! COLE Did he? I can see Mister Dick and Zack brawling it out over here, with Dick doing his best to keep Zack away from Theodore Moneymaker, but if Zack's gone then Dick has to be gone too! Clem, who has HAD IT, scolds the Blondes and points to the aisleway, telling them to get out of the ring. Simon and Ned, completely confused as to what his issue is, are just as surprised (and let down) by Michael Buffer's following announcement. BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, the referee is disqualifying BOTH Ned Blanchard and Simon Singleton, citing illegal double teaming! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH HA! Thems the breaks when you don't want to play with the winning team anymore! Simon and Ned argue their points, and Bo and Krista come in to back them up. CW, Logan and Synth all come in to tend to Moneymaker, and both teams scream and shout from across the ring! Begrudgingly, The Blondes exit the ring and head up the aisle, while down the floor Dick has been sent into the guardrail...not only into it, but OVER IT, as the impact causes him to flop over the barrier and into the front row. Malibu then runs into the ring, amidst the chaos that's been going on since The Blondes were dismissed from the contest, and he is NOT HAPPY! COLE Zack's disposed of Dick, but I'm not sure he realizes what's going on. COACH True dat. He was so busy getting his bell rung he might've confused it with the actual bell ringing! Zack gets into the ring and, after a moment with Bo, confronts the referee, who explains what's going on. Malibu protests, but Clem stands his ground and says they're out of here. Moneymaker laughs heartily at the injustice, while Malibu is left fuming on his side of the ring. Bo, Zack and Krista start to talk strategy, but Malibu is turning redder by the minute!

I'm slowly but surely finishing up my portions of the five on five match...I'm at work though, so bear with me.

Left 4 Dead is listed as being on sale, yet rings up at $56.99 on Amazon now.