Zack Malibu

COLE It was a great closing to the night this past Sunday at Zero Hour, as Zack Malibu was able to defeat Christian Wright for the HI-YAH Heavyweight Championship! COACH It was bullsh...BOGUS even! Zack Malibu is not the HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion. CABOOSE Oh he is. COLE Hey, it was Axel himself that said the match could only end via Bo's hand, and that's exactly how it did, although, well, haha, he did have some female assistance. COACH See, that's what I mean! Zack Malibu should've been DQ'd for interference right then and there! COLE Seeing as how the referee hit him with a beltshot earlier in the contest, and held back from the three count, I think all that came to be was perfectly fair and acceptable. COACH You would. Kissass. Papa Roach is cued up, and the ensuing crowd pop is deafening, as "Getting Away With Murder" is the soundtrack to the new HI-YAH Heavyweight Champions entrance! Malibu, wearing his normal preppy attire, heads down the aisle with the belt draped over his shoulder, looking proud to be a champion once again. CABOOSE Listen to the crowd...you see Coach, this is what it means to be a respected superstar. COACH Please, these people are sheep. I guarantee if we came up with a witty catchphrase, they'd be all up on our jock too. Malibu climbs into the ring and is handed a mic, taking center stage as both the music and crowd noise die down. He looks out to the crowd several times, nodding to the fans in appreciate, before everything settles and he's able to speak. MALIBU You know, I have been through a lot for this company. I've certainly had my moments of glory. I won my first OAOAST World Title at Anglemania II, my second one at Anglemania III, I won that brutal TLC match just about six months ago with Leon Rodez as my partner, I survived the Iron Man Match with Shattered Dreams...but this past Sunday could have been my finest moment yet! *crowd roar* MALIBU I say that not because I have this gold strap draped over my shoulder now. I say that not because I now represent the pinnacle of Japanese wrestling, as well as the OAOAST, I say that because the victory this past Sunday night wasn't just a physical one, or one for a belt. It was a victory for the OAOAST as a whole, because now The Upstarts see that even when they stack the deck, that things don't always turn out the way they want them to! COLE Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-men! MALIBU Nobody gave me a chance going into that match Sunday night. Christian Wright pinned me clean, one, two, three, in the center of the ring two weeks ago right here on this show. Last week, he left me a bloody mess after a shot with the same belt that's here in my hand. Then Axel decides to appoint Bohemoth as the special referee, and everyone was so sure "Zack's gonna blow it." "His temper is going to get the better of him." "He's going to shoot himself in the foot, he'll never be HI-YAH Champion." Well, you know what, you were WRONG. Because I did what I do best...I fought from underneath. I fought back against the odds. You think I have such an ego, Axel, Peter Knight, whoever...then why do I LOVE being the underdog? Because that's when I know YOU have made the mistake. It shows your insecurities. It shows kinks in the armor. It shows that deep down, you're afraid. You KNOW your time is limited as champions, as general managers, as members of this roster. You know, and I've said it before and I'll say it again now...I'll take everything you throw at me. I'll take you all on, or one at a time. I'll take anything you want to put me through. C'mon and take your best shot, because me on my worst day is better than any of you on your best day. You think that because you have the power, the gold, that it makes you superstars. That it makes you mean something? You know what makes you mean something? Not when you win a match, or a title, but when you win the RESPECT of your peers, the respect of the population, the respect of each and every single one of these people here, at home, overseas, EVERYWHERE. WORLDWIDE RESPECT. That is something I've achieved in my career, something that some of you have never accomplished. Something that some of you have pissed away, choosing to try to get to the top quickly rather than work. Well I didn't do that. I might have not always made the right choices, but they were my choices that I fought through, that I suffered through. I chose to stand against you nearly one year ago when this "revolution" came to be. I chose to play peacemaker amongst my peers, to get us all on the same page, and it is my own choice to stand in this ring and take what comes next, because this is MY company, this is MY home, and I'm not going to rest, I won't even stop for a breath, until I've beaten you all so badly, so much, that you finally accept defeat. I... "Wait just a minute, mate." "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Malibu stops short, and turns and looks up the aisleway, as the suited up General Manager, and the man who helps head The Upstarts cause, AXEL, comes out to the aisleway. AXEL You know, I was generous enough not to pull this time from the format. I figure you'd make a proud victory speech, rubbing salt in our wounds and getting everyone to agree that praise be to the almight Malibu, for he has emerged victorious yet again! Now what happened Sunday night, I don't like it one bit. Everyone knows that that pinfall shouldn't have counted...BUT...I can admit where I was wrong in stating that the match needed to end by Bo's hand, since Corporate took it literally. Combine that with the fact that those two acid-tripping trollops went to Corporate with complaints of "Equal opportunity" this and "Sexist enviroment" that, and now they've got me under watch by feminist groups worldwide. But I digress. You should be thankful you have friends like COD, and James Blonde and Faqu, who watch your back, Zachary. You should feel so proud that they've devoted their lives to aiding you and not me, because they'll have to pick up the slack while you're gone. COLE Wha...GONE? CABOOSE What's he talking about? AXEL Zack, like every good businessman, I turn negatives into positives. I've got ideas, and I use them to see that my goals come to fruition. Now you were right with what you said a few minutes ago...you ARE the glue holding this place together. You've united friends and enemies alike to defend the honor of this company. You're the glue holding the OAOAST together as we slowly shatter the glass wall you've built up. However, you won't be here to protect your own turf, not for a while at least, because now that you're the HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion, you've earned yourself a first class ticket to the Land of the Rising Sun to defend that title! Malibu backsteps. He knows his responsibilities, but he's not happy with Axel's taking advantage of the situaiton. AXEL That's right Zack, and you're such a proud champion, such an honorable man, that you wouldn't deny HI-YAH your presence. The OAOAST is still walking on eggshells with them, and you, Mr. Company Man, don't want to be the reason for the downfall of a wonderful business arrangement, do you? Malibu takes a deep breath. He's being cornered by his own M.O. AXEL I thought not. Such a sad thing too, for these people. For your friends. For me though, I say pack your bags and get out of my ring, because I have a show to get on with. You've got a flight in the morning. Now's going to be the true test for the OAOAST, Zack. How can they survive without you? Axel vanishes behind the curtains, and the crowd boos his departure as much as they booed his arrival. Malibu stands in the ring, having had the wind taken out of his sails since this was supposed to be a night of celebration, as we fade to black.

Holla.

Good man. Lushus is automatically Mr. Black.

I agree. Though Chave's fine and Zack's Zack. Meaning?

Surely a man of your status already owns it. Or at least burned a copy.

Mr. Blonde here. Michael Madsen represent.

Done. Spaceman Spiff has come to help.

You wanna keep that ear?

He randomly IM'd me a few times, and hooked me up with some porn once, but now I apparently threaten his existence. I think adolesence, college life, and mp3 players have taken their toll on him.

Your shining moment was Tiff. Memories.

Do me. I bet Czech makes a "Mr. Pink" joke.

Fuckin' A, another reason why you roll with me. Old Bay is the shit.

It's alright StylesMark, you roll with me and Chave and you're set.

You mean with us. We're like Reservoir Dogs.

Never thought I was the wittiest one around. My shining moment was during one of the Zack/Leena debacles at The Pit, where I told her she was just mad I wouldn't leave my kids on her chin, and everyone thought it was a classic line. Maybe Czech feels the same way. Sorry buddy, it's not like that.

I don't know what Czech has against me. Like it's my fault my microwave still works. Oh, and Matt Young, I don't know if you were playing snitch or busting balls, but s'all good. For some reason, Czech is being driven to madness. Might as well have fun with it.

Duran Duran had a tiger. Duran Duran rules.

I hope it's open bar.

HA! You noticed. I did that slip up on purpose, just so you could correct me. I WIN THE THREAD!

Zack Malibu has the HI-YAH Heavyweight Title, and The Upstarts are PISSED. What will come of this? TUNE INTO NIT, er, HELDDOWN TO FIND OUT!

WJM is on myspace, though.

I normally Chave every other day. If I did it everyday, the razor rash would be unbearable. Black Lushus is here. It should always be served after the main course.

Carnival is here. Carnival's are a good time. Cotton candy!

It's almost as if he doesn't give a fuck about trying to impress you. Touche.

Pssh, that panda wanted it. What do you expect, walking around all comfy and furry?