Zack Malibu

Are you saying I should be whoring here, and not on myspace? Blasphemy!

I don't pop my collar, but at least you didn't go with the passe Saved By The Bell insult. A for effort and all that jazz.

I used Dama's pic and got laid for six weeks straight.

Ken Doane and Johnny Jeter are so far above this gimmick it's not even funny. If Doane had remained in OVW for another year, or even two, he'd still have been only 21 upon his callup. He's the closest thing to a can't miss prospect they have, and he's stuck doing this shit. He's green, but even green he's much much better than some people currently on the active roster (Sylvain, Jordan, Lashley all come to mind). Jeter's always been a good worker, and should have been called up a while ago. He really hit his stride as the dickhead heel this past year, and would easily be able to be a midcard/possible upper mid guy in the vein of Jericho or Christian, but again, he's stuck as a face in the crowd of the Spirit Squad. The gimmick is fine for Mondo, and even Nemeth. Mitchell has a serious back injury, which is why he doesn't get involved much or at all, so there's no telling what's in his future.

The idea for the ending was somewhat based on the ending for Against All Odds, when Christian won the World Title. Being that everythings been peachy for The Upstarts, the fact that a wrench has been thrown into their plans leading into the biggest show of the year was made to be the feel good moment of the pay per view. And HOLY SHIT is that Alf match monster. I have to finish reading the show tomorrow during some downtime, because I had too much to do today to get it all in.

I think we all just got too busy with using our own characters, and in some of our cases, already having to write multiple characters. Much like WWE, we've let our developmental system fall by the wayside!

You know the deal. COLE It has come down to this. It's main event time tonight, and it's a match that favors one participant in particular. It all started several weeks ago, when charter Upstart members Scotty Static and Johnny Jax verbally assaulted the duo of James Blonde and Faqu, targetting their home promotion of HI-YAH, our Japanese affiliate, in particular. HI-YAH officials were understandably upset by the slander, and a compromise was made that instead of the OAOAST World Title being on the line in tonight's main event, that Peter Knight would have a night off, and instead Christian Wright would defend the HI-YAH Heavyweight belt against an opponent chosen by HI-YAH officials. That man turned out to be Zack Malibu, the sworn enemy of the Upstarts, which no doubt angered everyone in that group. COACH That ain't the half of it. COLE However, Axel decided to turn this negative into a positive, using the loophole that while HI-YAH booked the opponent for Wright, they couldn't book the match. So Axel used his political power as GM to make this a special contest, one with a special referee...Christian Wright's muscle, Bohemoth, and stated that the match can only end via his count or his call. CABOOSE Zack's going to have a lot to deal with tonight. Wright is a hell of a competitor in his own right, I'll give him that. I'd go so far as to say he might not need the favortism, but it is what it is. If anyone can beat the odds, it's Zack Malibu. COLE Let's go up to the ring where Michael Buffer awaits, ready to introduce us to all the participants in tonights main event. DING! DING! DING! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest, scheduled for one fall is your main event of the evening, and it is for the HI-YAH HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE WORLD! "Back In Black by AC/DC hits as soon as Buffer's last word echoes throughout the arena, and down the rampway comes the official for the contest, sporting a tight fitting referee shirt with a popped collar! COACH What style...he even makes the zebra stripes look good! Bohemoth steps through the ropes and paces the ring, as Buffer introduces him to the crowd, who already seem to know him well judging by their loud jeers. BUFFER Introducing first, the official for tonights matchup...BOHEMOTH! Bo stands by the ropes and smirks, while the crowd lets him have it. After his music fades the lights drop, and pulsing strobes of blue and gold flicker on the entranceway, as the opening bass lines to "Getting Away With Murder" hit. Once the song kicks in, the appearance of the OAOAST's longtime defender draws a large pop from the crowd, as the fans go wild when Zack makes his way to the ring. BUFFER Coming down the ramp, he is the challenger tonight. Weighing in at an even two hundred pounds, hailing from Providence, Rhode Island, this is ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALIBU! Zack steps through the ropes and climbs up on the middle rope, sliding off his hooded vest and throwing it out to the crowd, then pounds his chest and throws his arms up, working the crowd into more of a frenzy! Malibu hops down and circles the ring, giving a glare to Bohemoth, who just smiles back at him cockily. He finds Knight's box and, mimicking Alf earlier, hops onto the turnbuckles and glares at him as Knight holds up the World Title belt, telling Zack "It's mine!" The lights stay dim as "Slither" hits, and the crowd is deflated, their frenzy turning into a chorus of boos as Zack's opponent is introduced. BUFFER His opponent, he is the current reigning and defending HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion...from Raleigh, North Carolina, weighing in tonight at two hundred, thirty three pounds, he is "The Natural", CHRIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSTIAN WRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT! Wright throws his hood back and walks to the ring, locking eyes with Zack on his path to the squared circle. Wright enters and paces back and forth as he removes his entrance attire, revealing the sixteen pounds of gold wrapped around his waist. The lights come up and Wright removes the belt, and he and Zack meet in center ring, as Wright hands the belt over to Bo, who holds it in the air. COACH All right, see, he's playing it down the middle so far. CABOOSE The match hasn't STARTED yet! DING! DING! DING! COACH You were saying? Lockup to start, and Wright quickly uses a go behind, and wraps his arms around Zack's waist. Malibu fires back a pair of elbows to stun Wright, and then counters with his own go behind, then releases and hits a thunderous chop to the back of Wright, nailing him right in the middle of the back! Wright reels, and Zack takes him and holds him in a side headlock, but then finds himself shot to the ropes. He stops short of Wright's leapfrog attempt, and then opens up on the scholarly Upstart, hammering him with right hands before sending him to the ropes and connecting with a spectacular dropkick, one that sends Christian Wright bailing out of the ring! COLE Only moments into the match and Christian Wright is looking for the high road, despite the fact that the odds are in his favor! COACH How do you figure? The man was shoehorned into this main event slot simply as an act of vengeance from both the HI-YAH and OAOAST Corporate Offices! They go and stick the poster boy over there against him, and you're telling me the odds are in Christian's favor? COLE He's got the backing of the General Manager, the OAOAST World Champion watching his back along with the rest of your crew, and his BEST FRIEND is the referee for the match? How is Zack NOT the underdog here tonight? COACH PK is up in that luxury box and, like Caboose said earlier, that's a long way from the ring for him. Malibu looks to exit the ring, but Bo puts a stop to that, blocking Malibu and telling him to get back while he counts Wright out. Zack glares at the official, but bites his tongue, knowing that he's going to have to play by the Upstarts rules for the time being if he expects to obtain championship gold here tonight. COACH That's right Zack, step back and let Bo do his job tonight. To his credit, Bohemoth gives a fair count, although one would wonder if he'd actually count to ten should Wright remain on the floor. Wright slides back in at the count of seven and comes face to face with Malibu, and shoves him back...so Malibu connects with a slap across the face that surprises the HI-YAH champ! Christian takes a wild swing, but can't connect with the haymaker, as Malibu hooks the arm and swings behind him, trapping his head in an inverted facelock and lifts...but Wright floats over and takes Zack by the waist and runs him to the ropes, rolling him up with a cradle! ONE! Malibu kicks out instantly, as Bo can't get to two, and the force of the kickout sends Wright towards the ropes, but he grabs the top rope and slingshots himself out to the apron. Zack gets up, and Wright tries a springboard, but Zack rushes over and pushes his feet off the rope, back to the apron! Zack takes him by the head and runs him across the apron to ram his head into the turnbuckle, but Wright puts a foot up to block! He tries to mash Zack's head into the turnbuckle, but Malibu blocks as well! The two men inch away from the post, each one with their hand on the other's head...and then Wright jumps down and snaps Zack's throat across the top rope! Malibu staggers back, allowing Wright to enter the ring and pick him up, then slam him down on the canvas. Wright then bounces off the ropes and falls forward, dropping an elbow into Zack's throat before rolling him onto his stomach and bringing him to his feet. Wright nails Zack with several chops as they both come up to their feet, and then fires him into the rop...NO! Zack puts on the brakes and swings around, taking Wright down by his legs and then delivering a hard stomp between the legs, much to the delight of the crowd and the fury of the referee Bohemoth, who pushes Zack away forcefully and berates him for such a tactic. Zack is silent as Bo threatens to disqualify him, but the big man then steps aside and allows Zack to continue on with the match, despite being unhappy with what he just did. COACH So let me ask you this, Michael, or you too, 'boose...do you approve of tactics like that? CABOOSE You're looking for the honest answer, right? COACH Yeah. CABOOSE I think he should have used both feet. COACH See, that's what I mean! That's the type of hypocrisy the Upstarts try to prevent. We do it, we're the bad guys, we're the renegades who didn't conform. Zack Malibu does it, and these fans jump up and down like they won the Powerball, and applaud it! COLE After what you've put that man through in the last several months, a kick to the nuts should be the least of Christian Wright's worries! Malibu moves towards Wright and nails him with a European uppercut that floors him, and sends him falling back against the ropes. Malibu drags him away and hoists him up for a vertical suplex, letting Wright dangle upside down and have the blood rush to his head...but Wright kicks his legs and manages to come back down and plant his feet on the mat, then lifts Zack with his own suplex, but Malibu slides out and falls behind, then takes him to the mat with a rear waistlock takedown, and then paintbrushes him across the back of the head! COACH See! Listen to these fans, cheering such unsportsmanlike conduct! Wright is incensed at Malibu's taunting, and so he charges...falling face first thanks to a drop toehold! Wright rolls over and sits up, holding his mouth, as Zack positions himself behind him, and then blasts him with a soccer kick to the back! Zack then hits the ropes and comes off with a soccer kick to the chest of Wright...but his leg is grabbed, and Wright clings onto it as he stands up, then takes Zack over with a Dragon screw! Wright then follows up with stomps before hitting the ropes and dropping an elbow...that misses! Zack rolls out of the way and gets to his feet, and then he drops an elbow...but that misses too! Wright covers quickly, but Bo hasn't even counted one before Zack pushes Wright off! They both get to their feet and Christian charges, but Malibu hits a monkey flip that sends Christian airborne...and he lands on his feet! He quickly leaps onto the middle rope and springboards backwards with a crossbody, wiping Zack out, and hooks the leg for a cover! ONE! T-KICKOUT! Zack pushes Wright off him again, but this time as he comes up to his feet, Wright hits the ropes and drives a knee into Zack's back, sending him spilling out through the ropes and to the floor below! As soon as contact is made with the floor, Bo begins his count, seeming a little too eager about the possibile countout that could ensue from this. COLE Again, blatant favortism. Wright's gotten the breaks and breathers so far, but as soon as Zack got sent to the outside, he was positioned to make that ten count! COACH Which is the way it should be with any referee, Michael. Your complaints fall on deaf ears. It's an eye for an eye! Bo gets up to the count of five by the time Zack is standing, and that's when Wright springs into action, hitting the ropes and then using a baseball slide...that gets dodged! Zack then yanks Christian to the floor by his legs and tries a short lariat, but it's ducked by the defending champion, who then turns Zack around, doubles him over with a kick, and hits a snap suplex on the floor! Wright then pulls Zack up by the head and stuffs him back into the ring, then gets on the apron and slingshots himself into the ring with a double stomp to the chest of Zack Malibu! "Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!" Wright walks across the apron and looks to the fans, then shrugs before turning his attention back to Zack. He pulls him up and applies a front facelock, clubbing Zack across the shoulder blades with his free arm. He sets Zack up for a suplex, but Malibu pushes out of the facelock, and when Wright moves forward, he's met with a hard chop to the chest! Christian reels from the blow, and then finds himself dumped on his back with a fireman's carry before being met with a dropkick to the back of the neck as he sits up! Malibu hits the ropes and executes a quebrada, but Wright puts his knees up, and Malibu lands hard and favors his ribs, and his injury enables Wright to easily hoist him up and drill him into the canvas with a stuff powerbomb! ONE! TW-NO! Zack kicks out, but Wright keeps on him, picking him up by the arm and then sending him to the corner, and then follows up with a running knee into the ribs! Wright then starts using shoulderblocks to further weaken Zack, and then lifts him up and seats him on the top rope. COLE Christian Wright is looking for something high-impact here. COACH Thank you, Professor. Wright climbs up, but Malibu pushes him off, doing his best to ward off the attack. Wright lands on his feet and runs right back up the ropes, but he gets pushed off again, and this time lands on his back! Zack uses the opening to start to balance himself on the top rope, but Wright gets up and rushes the corner again, knocking Zack off balance and crotching him on the top rope! Wright then moves up the ropes again, and this time Zack is too stunned to do anything about it, as he's taken over with a superplex by the HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion! Wright rolls on top, and covers, as the crowd watches on, hopeful for a kickout. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaah!" The crowd gets what they asked for, as Malibu rolls a shoulder up to stop Bohemoth's count! Wright looks at his friend, who rolls his eyes in disbelief that Malibu was able to escape. Wright drags Zack to his feet and immediately sends him to the corner, then follows up with a charge...right into a boot! Wright staggers away after Malibu's act of desperation, then charges in again...into a double boot! He knocks Wright back once again, and then props himself up on the middle rope and takes Wright by the head, and then goes for a Tornado DDT...but Wright blocks it and carries Zack around and sticks him right back on the turnbuckles! Wright backs off, but before he can do anything, Malibu leaps off the second rope and uses a sunset flip to take him to the mat, but Wright rolls through before a count is even considered, and tries for the figure four...but Malibu kicks him off and sends him through the ropes, out onto the ramp! COLE Christian couldn't stop his own momentum from taking him out of the ring, but that's the opening that Zack needs to be able to mount a comeback. Wright is up quickly, but once again, when Malibu goes to exit the ring, Bo tells him to keep back. The crowd boos as Bo prevents Zack from keeping his offense flowing, but when Bo turns his back to Malibu and resumes the count, Malibu sprints across the ring and leaps up onto the top rope, launching himself into the air with a springboard crossbody, taking Wright out on the ramp! CABOOSE THERE! Now that's what I like to see, Zacky, take it to him! Malibu rolls off of Wright and lays there looking up at the lights, as the crowd chants him name loudly. "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" Groggy, Zack gets up, and retrieves Wright, but as he pulls Christian up Wright drives his head into Zack's midsection, which drops him to his knees! CABOOSE That was a blatant low blow! COACH It was not! Malibu was pulling him up, and was in too much of a damn hurry that he wound up hurting himself! Wright pulls Zack to his feet, but the challenger then stuns the champion by planting him with an inverted atomic drop, targetting the same area that Wright just punished on Malibu! The defending champion reels, as Malibu takes him and delivers another one before sending him down the ramp with an Irish whip, throwing him up in the air off the rebound and letting him drop back to Earth with a flapjack out on the rampway! "Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!" CABOOSE That was the very definition of a crash landing! He almost went right through the ramp! COLE Wouldn't be the first time. Remember the time Zack got press slammed through it by Northstar. CABOOSE Shattered Dreams. COLE Same person. CABOOSE Different name. COACH WILL YOU GUYS PAY ATTENTION!!? I mean geez, when did you ever expect me to be the one to say that!? Zack yanks Wright up from the ramp and stands him on his spaghetti legs, then chops him, causing him to stumble back against the ropes. Malibu continues to chop, every crack of the chest skin drawing a "WHOO" from the crowd before swinging around with a discus clothesline that drops Wright over the ropes and back into the ring! Wright rolls onto his back, and Malibu slingshots in and lands with an elbowsmash, then once again looks for victory as he hooks the leg of Christian Wright! ONE! TWO! NO! COACH What spirit. What a fighting champion! Bohemoth stands up and backs off, waving two fingers in the air. Malibu eyes him as he brings Wright up and holds him by the wrist, follows up with a wrench of the arm, and then surprises him by taking him down with a sweep kick! Malibu reaches down, but Wright kicks up with both feet and knocks Zack down, then gets up and goes to get Zack...but Malibu kicks him down with both feet! All of a sudden, BOTH MEN kip up and move towards each other, and wind up taking each other out with a double clothesline! COLE AMAZING! Zack thought he had the advantage, Wright tried mounting a comeback, and their efforts have resulted in them laying each other out! Both men are down on the canvas, eyes closed due to the growing weariness this match has brought on. The Metrosexual Monster starts a standing ten count, watching and waiting to see if either man can make it up by the count of ten, because if not, the match will be ruled a draw. CABOOSE Well to his credit, Bo is counting both men down, but I shudder to think what's going to happen if Zack is the first one up! The well-dressed warrior, making even a simple ref shirt look fashionable tonight, keeps counting down both men, who have barely stirred. Concern is apparent on Bohemoth's face as he keeps looking to Wright, which causes this to become the slowest ten count in history! Christian is the first to lift himself off the mat, and Bo takes a deep breath out of relief...only to turn and see Zack coming up as well. Christian doesn't see this as he has his back to his opponent, so Bo quickly spins his ally around, and it enables Christian to drop Zack with a DDT, putting them both back down on the mat! COLE Unbiased my ass! He blatantly helped him out there! COACH If you were wandering around in a daze, wouldn't you want a good soul to point you in the right direction? Wright then rolls Zack over onto his back, but instead of going for the pin, he clobbers him with punches and elbows across the face, pummelling him like there's no tomorrow! Wright then slowly stands up and brings Malibu with him and sends him to the ropes, catching him as he comes off with a facebuster...and then an inverted atomic drop...then an STO! Wright then bounces off the ropes and drops a knee across his forehead, completing the C4, and goes for the cover! ONE! TWO! T-NO! KICKOUT! COLE He kicked out of the C4! Wright slaps the mat, then approaches Bo, asking about the count! Bo shrugs his shoulders and tells Wright that Zack had the shoulder up at two, and apologizes for it! Wright turns around and puts the boots to Zack, not allowing him any space for recovery, then drags him closer to center ring before running out to the apron! Wright then races across the apron and up the ropes, then leaps off with a high elevation frog splash, crashing all of his two hundred thirty one pounds across Zack Malibu! He hooks the leg, and Bo drops down, as the crowd counts along out of habit. ONE! TWO! THRE---NO! CABOOSE HE KICKED OUT! COACH HOW?! COLE Well, he lifted his shoulder up off the mat before the three count, which means... COACH I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS! COLE Then why ask? Wright's jaw drops in shock, and Bo's eyes grow wider, as neither seem to believe that Malibu has escaped defeat! Wright immediately ducks out of the ring and climbs the ropes again, focusing on Zack before sending himself airborne, crashing down on him AGAIN with his Holy Grail of frog splashes! Wright hooks the leg as far back as he can, and watches as Bo counts, mouthing the count along with each slap of the canvas. ONE! TWO! THRE----NO! KICKOUT AGAIN BY ZACK MALIBU! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Wright rolls off of Zack and slams his hands on the mat, having a temper tantrum in mid-ring. Bo helps his friend up to his feet, but Wright brushes him off, going in for the kill as he stomps Zack down before pulling him up and shooting him into the ropes, nailing him with another facebuster, another inverted atomic drop, and another...WAIT! Malibu throws his elbow back into the side of Wright's face, and then it's MALIBU who hits WRIGHT with an STO, putting them both down on the canvas once again! COLE Malibu blocked the C4, and look at how exhausted these two are! CABOOSE I hate to say it, Cole, but no matter which one of these guys wins, they're going to deserve it. Once again, Bo starts a standing ten count, as both competitors regain their breath and try to survive through the exhaustion. They both roll on their stomachs and start pushing themselves off the mat. Malibu manages to do it faster than Wright and hits the ropes, coming off as Wright has his head tucked low and nails him with a ZACK ATTACK~! that knocks him silly, sending him through the ropes and crashing down on the ringside floor! COLE The Zack Attack connected! COACH But he can't win the title with Wright on the floor! Titles can't change hands on countouts! Bo looks over the ropes and checks on Wright, who is holding his head and kicking his legs as he lay face down on the floor. Malibu takes a moment before stepping out to the apron, and then simply crouches in wait, waiting for Wright to get to his feet. The champion pushes up, then balances himself with the help of the security railing...and when he turns around all he sees is the blur of Malibu racing across the apron and then leaping off, connecting with a hard flying lariat across his chest! COLE Apron Run Diving Clothesline connects as well, and Wright is laid out on the floor! Zack gets up, sweat dripping from his forehead, as the crowd responds in kind, enthused by the thought of Malibu getting revenge on at least one of The Upstarts tonight. He pulls Wright up for what seems like the millionth time this match, but Wright shoves him backwards, and Malibu collides with the ringpost, smashing the back of his head! Zack falls to the side, clutching the back of his head, as Wright gets up, only to stumble over! He catches himself on the apron, and then moves towards the timekeepers table, reaching over ring announcer Michael Buffer and grabbing his HI-YAH Heavyweight Title. He grasps it in both hands, the metal center plate exposed, and aims for Malibu, waiting for him to get up...but the referee, a man that Wright sees as his closest ally, slides out of the ring and stands in the way of the potentially fatal blow! COACH What the... CABOOSE I don't think anyone saw this coming! Wright steps back, in amazement that Bo would dare stand in his way. The referee stands his ground, but a frustrated Wright, looking to get a win by any means possible, tries to blow past him...and gets pushed back! The crowd roars as the two friends are nose to nose, and when Wright tries to go by him again, Bo pushes back, and then starts trying to take the title from his hands! Wright tugs on it, but Bo won't let go, and the bickering between the two men has the crowd at a fever pitch...even moreso as Zack gets to his feet and comes over to the two men...AND GETS BLASTED WITH THE BELT AS WRIGHT RELEASES HIS GRIP! COLE NO! CABOOSE But wait, was that...oh would you look at this now! Bohemoth, the referee for this contest, stands over Zack, holding the belt, as the momentum of Wright's release caused Bo to fall back and clock Zack in the head. What looked like an accident seems to have been done with intent, as Bo tosses the belt down and then just shrugs, before reaching down and picking up a bloody Zack in his arms, and rolls him into the ring under the bottom rope! Bo slides in as well, while Wright climbs up on the apron and again ascends the turnbuckles, and hits a THIRD Holy Grail frog splash, crashing down across Zack Malibu! COACH That's it, he's done! He's taken three of these, he's had his head bashed into the ringpost, AND he got busted open by a beltshot. CABOOSE From the referee no less! COACH Accidents happen! CABOOSE Accident my ass. Wright covers, hooking a leg just in case Malibu has any fight left in him, as Bo makes the count. ONE! TWO! THREE...NO! NO! ZACK MALIBU THROWS HIS SHOULDER UP BEFORE THREE! COLE HE KICKED OUT! Wright can't believe it, so he keeps Zack down, pulling back on the leg again, as Bo counts. ONE! TWO! THRE-KICKOUT AGAIN! ZACK KICKS OUT AGAIN! Wright pounds on the canvas, and gets up, stomping Zack down hard before pulling him up and then striking him with a hard kneelift. He then traps him in a front facelock, but before he can Convert any sinners, Malibu pushes him back, and then fires off SCHOOL'S OUT out of the blue...AND IT HITS BO INSTEAD OF WRIGHT! COLE He ducked it! COACH HE HIT THE REF! DQ! DQ! Wright hits a low blow from behind before Zack can do anything, and then drills him with a reverse DDT, spiking his head on the canvas! Wright then goes and tries to wake Bo up, trying to help him come to, but nothing seems to work, as the giant has been dropped by the right foot of the OAOAST's most beloved star! With both his opponent and his saving grace down on the canvas, Wright grows desperate, and exits the ring again, once again taking his HI-YAH Heavyweight Championship belt into his hand! He rolls into the ring and braces himself, egging Malibu on...when all of a sudden somebody hops on the ring apron and yanks the belt out of his hands! COLE What the...it's ALIX SPEZIA! The crowd roars as Alix steals the HI-YAH belt from Wright, who spins around in shock as the spunky superstar tries to hop off the apron with his belt...but he grabs her by the hair! Wright, who has had his problems with the COD in recent weeks, has Alix in his grasp...but he's then spun around by her sistah from another mistah, Krista Isadora Duncan! Krista then hits a low kick that stuns Wright...AND HAS HIM OPEN TO EAT A SCHOOL'S OUT FROM ZACK! COACH Get those girls out of there! Malibu should have been DQ'd for hitting the ref, nevermind the outside interference! COLE COD has simply evened the odds for Zack. Beltshots, blatant favortism...that's nothing compared with a simple kick to the junk. COACH I oughta kick YOU in the junk, punk! Malibu covers, and the fans count to three, but the one person who can make that count official is still groggy. Malibu gets up and goes over to Bo, slapping him across the face and trying to bring him back to life, while COD pounds the apron, adding to the crowd rally for Zack Malibu! COLE Chicks Over Dicks have come out to even the odds, but the referee is down and...oh now wait just a second! The arena explodes in boos as the GPX start coming down the ramp, pointing and cursing at Krista and Alix for watching Malibu's back. The storm down the ramp, but before they can do anything, James Blonde and Faqu charge down the ramp and spin them around, and start brawling with them on the rampway to a loud pop! CABOOSE ALL RIGHT! COACH No...NO! What are they doing out here?! COLE Evening the odds, Coach! Bo starts to stir, and Malibu notices this, so he pulls Wright up...but as he does he has his eyes raked by the champion, and then gets carried over with a Northern Lights Suplex...but there is still no one to count the fall! COACH C'mon Bo, roll over, there's a pin going on! Amidst all the chaos, Bohemoth manages to come to, turning over to see Wright pinning Malibu down with the suplex, and he counts! ONE! TWO! NOOOOOOOOOOOO! COLE He kicked out! COME ON ZACK! Blonde and Faqu drive the GPX back to the dressing room, but the COD stay put at ringside, cheerleading Zack Malibu. Wright pulls Zack up and grips him by the head, setting up for Converting The Sinner...but Malibu takes his wrist and wrenches his arm, twisting his way out of it before yanking Wright in close and grabbing him, lifting him off the canvas with a FALLING STAR DRIVER~! CABOOSE HE JUST BOUNCED HIS HEAD OFF THE CANVAS! Malibu covers, and Bo drops to his knees, counting the pin... ONE! TWO! THRE---WAIT! BO HESITATES, AND DOESN'T BRING HIS ARM DOWN! COLE Sonuva, I KNEW it. I KNEW it would come down to this. COACH See that Zack...all those years of favortism have just bitten you on the ass. It's KARMA, baby! THREE! COACH WHAT THE!? KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN SLID INTO THE RING AND PUSHED BO'S HAND DOWN FOR THE THREE COUNT! WE HAVE A NEW HI-YAH HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! COACH No...NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! COLE Hey, Axel said this match could only end by Bo's hand, and it did! The Upstarts finally got a taste of their own medicine! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner, and the NEW HI-YAH HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD...ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK MAAAAAAAAAALIBUUUUUUUUUUUUU! The crowd EXPLODES, as "Getting Away With Murder" hits, but is barely audible as the crowd goes crazy. Malibu rolls off of Wright and just lays there, while Alix Spezia slides into the ring and drapes the HI-YAH belt over his chest. We go to Knight's box and the champion is livid, tipping over food trays and kicking his couch. The cameras then cut backstage to Axel's office, and he is NOT happy, including the General Manager tossing his desk over and kicking the TV down in a fit of rage! COLE I guess those two won't be going to the victory party tonight! COACH That was robbery, Cole! You know it and I know it! CABOOSE It was fair play. That man fought his heart out tonight, and it could have been all for naught if that goon didn't make the count. Good for COD, and Blonde and Faqu, to help even up the odds! Bohemoth helps Wright up, with Wright nearly falling right back down as he's so worn out from the contest. Meanwhile, other OAOAST Superstars, including Blonde, Faqu, Zack's former partner Leon Rodez, and even Tony Brannigan hit the ring, lifting Zack up on their shoulders as the arena explodes in an awesome fireworks display! COLE Those aren't bombs bursting in the air, that's the sound of celebration! Zack Malibu battled against all odds tonight at Zero Hour, and he has definitely put a wrench in the Upstarts plans for the OAOAST! COACH We'll take care of this! You mark my words, we'll take care of this! Coach slams his headset down and storms off, walking past the ring and up the ramp, glaring at the celebration in the ring. He meets up with Bo and Wright on the ramp, and the three complain about just went on, before the cameras cut back to the ring one final time, showing Zack Malibu holding the belt over his head with both hands, as the crowd chants his name. "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!"

Done! Kinda shorter than what I was going for, but definitely passable.

You know the deal, part 2. COACH Let's talk about what we've got up next, huh? My boys Scotty and Johnny, the GPX, making an example out of two wannabes! COLE I wouldn't call them wannabes, Coach. Blonde and Faqu have proven they can hang with the best. They've had great showings against Black T, and the GPX in that six man tag just a week ago. COACH And what do those matches have in common, Mikey Cole? They resulted in losses for Blonde and Faqu! Sure, Malibu was the one pinned in that six man by Christian Wright, but if Blonde and Faqu were really as "rejuvenated" as they claim HEY-YO made them... COLE HI-YAH. COACH Whatever. If they were as rejuvenated as HI-HO supposedly made them. CABOOSE HI-YAH. COACH HEY YA? COLE That's an Outkast song! COACH Then where was I? COLE We were about to go to the ring, so don't worry about it. Inside the squared circle is the ever dapper Michael Buffer, the famed announcer who has joined us tonight for our February tradition. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Hard guitars fill the air inside the arena, as the Deftone's hit "My Own Summer" brings forth a stylish young man and his incredibly intimidating partner. The team of James Blonde and Faqu head down the rampway ready for action, looking focused as they head to the ring. BUFFER Introducing first, they are representatives of the HI-YAH promotion currently competing once again inside OAOAST rings. Weighing in tonight at a combined weight of five hundred and twent; three pounds, they are the team of "Strong Stylin'" JAMES BLONDE, and the "Samoan Tsunami", FAQU! Faqu gives the sign for "I love you" to the fans, while Blonde climbs up on the ropes and bounces a bit, nodding his head proudly. He hops down and the two knock hands and talk strategy softly, while their anthem is replaced by an all too familiar, and much more despised one. COACH Listen to this crowd, straight hatin'! "Make Her Say" can't be played loud enough to drown out the catcalls of this crowd, and when Johnny and Scotty start juking and jiving down the ramp, it only enhances the hatred. BUFFER Their opponents, weighing in tonight at a combined weight of four hundred and twenty five pounds, JOHNNY JAX and SCOTTY STATIC, The GLOBAL PARTY EXXXCHAAAAANGE! Static and Jax make their way to the ring, pretending to be in fear of Blonde and Faqu, who tell them to enter the ring. Instead, Johnny and Scotty hop off the ramp and down to ringside, each one circling a side of the ring before coming to the announce table and giving Coach props. COACH WHAZZUP! CABOOSE Soooo four years ago. COLE At least. COACH Haters. Jax and Static then hop up on the apron and toss idle threats out to their opponents. The bell sounds, and Static offers to start for his team, entering the ring. Blonde and Faqu work out who is going to start, but Static mouths "bring the big man on", daring the Samoan Tsunami to start the match with him! COLE So is he changing his name to Scotty Suicide and just hasn't told us yet, Coach? Faqu steps through the ropes, ready to start the match, and Static seems ready to tie up with him. Faqu comes forward with his arms extended for a lockup, but after inching forward, Static puts his arms down and backs up! Faqu sneers at Static, who wags a finger "no", and then the two start circling before they appear ready to lock up again...but after another tease, Static just walks right past Faqu! The Samoan charges, but Static quickly sticks his body through the ropes, causing referee Nick Patrick to back the big man up (verbally, not physically), while the crowd is not happy with the GPX's refusal to engage in battle. COLE It seemed too good to be true that they'd ask for Faqu to start, and now we know that they're still not taking Blonde and Faqu seriously! COACH Would YOU take a guy named James Blonde, or Faqu for that matter, seriously? CABOOSE The name "Scotty Static" doesn't exactly strike fear in the hearts of millions. COACH It should! Static pulls himself out of the ropes and again circles the ring, but as he comes forward, we'll never know if it was another tease or not, as Faqu shoots for the legs and takes him down! The Samoan starts driving elbows and forearms across Scotty's face, and the GPX member covers up and rolls to the ropes! He pulls himself up, but Faqu is right there and fires him off to the other side, then smacks him with a chop on the rebound that floors him! Faqu pulls Static up and hits a headbutt, then pushes his head down and drives his right knee into Scotty's head a few times before dropping him with a scoop slam! Faqu hits the ropes, but Jax kicks him in the small of the back! Faqu flinches for a moment, then turns around and runs across the side ropes, clotheslining Johnny off the ring apron! This works perfectly as a distraction though, as Static runs up from behind and nails Faqu with an elbow, then turns him around and brings him to center ring and locks up with him! Static struggles for a moment until Faqu pushes him down to the mat, but Scotty rolls to his feet and runs in again with another lockup, and grabs a headlock, only to be lifted off his feet...and float over! Faqu bounces off the ropes and Scotty takes him down with a drop toehold, then tries for a legdrop to the back of the head, but hits nothing but canvas, as Faqu moves! Static comes up and Faqu delivers two hard kicks to his ribs, connecting with the instep of his foot, then sends Scotty to the ropes and grabs Scotty for a sideslam, but Scotty floats all the way over and lands on his feet, then pushes Faqu to the ropes and then nails him with a dropkick on the rebound! Faqu staggers, but doesn't go down, so Static charges...and gets backdropped over the top rope! He hangs on, landing on the apron, then takes Faqu by the head and runs it into the corner before climbing up to the top rope and leaping off with a sunset flip that puts Faqu down for the pin...NO! He rolls through the sunset flip and then hooks Scotty's legs, turning him over for a Boston Crab...but Jax races in with a Yakuza Kick to break it up...AND HIS FOOT IS CAUGHT! CABOOSE Uh oh! Faqu holds Johnny's leg, having released Scotty from the Crab. He pulls Johnny up across his shoulders, but Static makes the save, yanking Johnny down to the canvas! The GPX then spin Faqu around and hit a double boot before taking him over with a doubleteam snap suplex, and now Static heads out to the apron, letting Jax take over for him! COLE Was there a tag? CABOOSE Well Patrick seems to be letting it go... Jax stomps at Faqu before hitting the ropes, springing high into the air for a kneedrop...THAT MISSES! Faqu rolls out of the way and chops Jax as he rises up, then fires off two more once he's on his feet, and they have Johnny reeling in pain! He then wrenches Johnny's arm and holds him at bay before hitting a fourth chop, and then Faqu hits the ropes and plows Johnny over with a shoulderblock! Faqu hits the ropes again, this time hopping over Johnny as he rests on his stomach, and when he comes back with a running elbow, Johnny puts up his arms to block the blow, then connects with a standing enzugiri, then hits the ropes and hits a spinning wheel kick that floors the big man! Johnny covers, and Patrick slides to the mat for the count! ONE! TW-NO! Faqu rolls a shoulder, but Jax isn't put off by the kickout, instead keeping control of his opponent by leading him to his feet. He looks to shoot Faqu to the GPX corner, but the big man keeps his ground and doesn't budge! Johnny hits two chops and tries again, but this time Faqu sends him in motion, and Johnny can't shift himself to hit back first, so crashes chest first into the corner, HARD! He staggers back, right into a back suplex from Faqu, who then goes and makes the tag to James Blonde! Faqu then reaches over and grabs his own partner in a facelock, lifting him off the apron like a suplex...but then drops him forward down on top of Jackson! Blonde stays atop Jax and keps him down, as Faqu comes off the ropes and delivers a hard kneedrop to the head of Johnny, then rolls out of the ring so Patrick can count the fall! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! COLE That was some excellent teamwork there by Blonde and Faqu! COACH You want teamwork, you ain't seen nothing yet. They're taking on the best tag team in the world right now! Blonde yanks Jax up and rocks him with a pair of forearms before running to the ropes...but gets struck with a low dropkick by Jax that hits him in the knee! Blonde collapses to all fours, and Jax runs the ropes and delivers another dropkick, this one to the side of the head! He then drags Blonde towards the GPX corner and tags Static in, who slingshots over the ropes, onto the middle rope, and moonsaults backwards onto Blonde! ONE! TW-KICKOUT! COACH See how crisp, how smooth they are? The GPX can work like nobody else can, and every time they're in action it's a reminder of how STUPID this company is to overlook them! CABOOSE And every time you speak it's a reminder of how stupid this company was to hire you! I mean, we were better off with people like Jimmy Beard on our roster than we've been with your annoying arse! Scotty drags Blonde up and wrenches the arm, then moves the arm behind his back, trapping him in a hammerlock. He holds Blonde at bay with the move, keeping a firm grip on the wrist...and then releases on his own, but not before slapping Blonde hard across the back of the head! Blonde swings around with a wild right hand that gets ducked, and Scotty strikes back with some rights of his own, and dodges when Blonde swings again! Scotty hits another set of punches, then backs Blonde to the ropes and fires him off, dropping his head for a backdrop...but Blonde hits a front dropkick to the crown of Scotty's head! Static drops to one knee, holding his head, and it allows Blonde the opening to hook his waist and throw him over with a gutwrench suplex! Blonde then drags Static near his corner and lays him on the mat by the ropes, then tags Faqu, who starts climbing the ropes! COLE No good can come of this! Faqu gets to the top, and leaps off with a back senton...but Static rolls under it, and Faqu slams hard on the mat! Johnny Jax then runs in and nails him with a basement dropkick as he sits up, then rolls out to escape, as Patrick ushers him from the ring. With Patrick occupied, Static starts unraveling his wrist tape, and then wraps it around the throat of Faqu and starts choking him out! CABOOSE Oh come on! COACH Like you never did that? Hypocrite. Patrick turns around and sees Static choking the big man out with his tape, and tries to pull him off, but it's not easy. Scotty then takes him and drapes him across the middle rope, driving his knee between Faqu's shoulder blades and forcing his throat down on the ropes before running to the far side and then leaping onto Faqu's back, driving all the air out of him! Faqu slumps down to the mat, and Static pulls him away from the ropes, and goes for the pin! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Static tells Patrick to "count faster next time" as he pulls Faqu up, stunning him with two forearm shots before taking the big man over with a vertical suplex, and then rolls to his feet and drops a quick elbow! He then rolls to his corner and tags in Jax, who slingshots in with a senton across Faqu, and then hurries to cover him while he's wounded, hoping it will keep him down! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! COLE The GPX are moving quickly and furiously with quick tags and double teams, but it's still not enough to defeat a duo that they don't find on their level. COACH Of course they're not on the level of the GPX. That's like comparing McDonald's to a Porterhouse steak. It's like comparing Old Navy to DKNY. It's like comparing The Click Five to Duran Duran! CABOOSE Who's the Click Five? COACH Exactly my point. The GPX double up on Faqu again, pounding on him with forearms, but as he comes to his feet, the "Samoan Tsunami" unleashes a tidal wave of pain, striking both members of the Global Party Exchange with hard chops, until they dominate him again with repeated forearm strikes! They hurl him towards the ropes and connect with a double back elbow, but when they back up and try for a double clothesline, Faqu breaks the clothesline in half, then rams the heads of Static and Jax together! Scotty drops and rolls out of the ring, while Jax staggers back, and Faqu hits the ropes and delivers a jump spinning roundhouse kick that floors Johnny "Jam"! Both men rest on the canvas, but Faqu crawls to his corner and makes the tag to "Strong Stylin'", who slingshots in and hits the ropes, coming off with a hard shoulderblock that bowls Jax over! He then reaches down and rolls Jax to his feet, then drops him with a downward spiral as soon as he is up! Blonde hits the ropes again, but this time Static reaches in and trips him up, then drags him to the floor! COACH Good lookin' out, Scotty! Scotty rams Blonde's head into the apron, and as Blonde tucks his head, favoring it, Scotty cradles his arms in a butterfly lock, setting him up for Spiked Punch on the floor! Static lifts, but Blonde kicks his legs and forces himself back down, and with his hands tied up, Scotty can't dodge the oncoming YAKUZA KICK~! from Faqu that knocks him silly! COLE HE DROPPED LIKE A SACK O' POTATOES! A wild wave of cheers comes up from the fans, but Patrick slides out of the ring and orders Faqu back to his side. The big man doesn't protest, but as this is going on Blonde springboards himself back into the ring...and winds up getting caught with an unceremonious landing, courtesy of an inverted atomic drop! He's staggered, and Jax hooks his arm and then reaches in, carrying him up onto his shoulder with a pumphandle to signify the Beat Drop...but Blonde slides out, and elevates Jax up in the air back suplex style, only to grab his head on the way down and drive the back of it into the canvas not unlike an inverted Diamond Cutter! CABOOSE WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!? COLE I think it might be victory! Blonde covers, hooking the leg as Jax uses whatevers left to try and kick free, but can't seem to do it, as Patrick's hand hits the canvas. ONE! TWO! THREE! DING! DING! DING! COLE They did it! Chalk one up for the OAOAST/HI-YAH connection tonight! COACH That...that was...THAT WAS A FAST COUNT! CABOOSE It was not. Fast counts don't apply to people as slow as you anyways. "My Own Summer" hits, and Faqu comes into the ring and embraces his partner before they both have their hands raised. COLE What a win for these two, who have set out to prove themselves. The GPX didn't believe they could do it, but the fans certainly did, and they're showing their support right now. These guys deserved this win! CABOOSE Agreed. Good show for Blonde and Faqu! Jax rolls out of the ring, still aching and holding his head. He regroups with Scotty, who is fortunate enough to not have a dislocated jaw after that stiff kick from Faqu. However, all the aches and pains are nothing compared to the feeling of having to swallow their pride, having just been defeated by a team they advertised as an inferior duo. COLE I don't think we've heard the last of this one, and if it's the first of many chapters then I look forward to the future ones, because this was one hell of a contest. CABOOSE Just one of many we're featuring here tonight. COLE You've got that right, Caboose!

Finito!

I've never liked The Andy Griffith Show, so he'll always be Mr. Furley to me. Now neither of the landlords are with us.

It was actually an Italian eggroll. I had never seen one stuffed with angel hair and diced tomato, but it was good eatin'!

He did get get an eggroll with it though.

I don't know where the fuck DA was going with that, but damn if it didn't make me laugh. And I suppose the TWITS and their RACISM are worse than having a man BLADE when infected with a BLOOD-BORNE VIRUS, huh? Like they said on that MST3K ep, "I must EMPH-asize words!"

OK, see that logic you just used about Bob Orton? Try using it when you bring up that Harris Bros. shit. Things happened, both were rectified by the guilty party being reprimanded in some way (although in Orton's case, he took the fall for Ace's idiocy). Animal should have been used to put over guys like MNM or the Mexicools, not destroy them. But hey, you're so pro-WWE, why not hang out in that folder more. I'm sure they'd LOVE to have you.

And neither Joe nor Punk should be relegated to OVW hell. Some house show tours at first before debuting, sure. But OVW has become the place where WWE sticks the signees they simply don't want TNA to have. Also, when Ace made the remark "Joe could be the Samoan heel Rikishi couldn't be", RIGHT THERE that should be an indication that they don't have a clue what to do with a talent like Joe. The two couldn't be more different other than heritage, but then you get a comparison between a well-traveled, well-rounded wrestler and a former midcard/comedy act talent.

I do feel that with the proper build, Christian vs. Joe and Sting vs. Joe (the latter happening before the former to further establish him) could be matches that draw very well.

I don't see any relation to the two events. Daniels and Styles signed through 2008 last year yet they're still confined to the X Division.

Look at 'em go.

Done!

BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this next contest, is scheduled for ONE FALL! "What's The Difference" hits, as we are welcomed back to live arena action by Michael Cole, Caboose, and The Coach, the announce team known globally as Triple C. COLE What a match we have for you right now. Just days away from Zero Hour, and we're going to see one of the OAOAST's true talents taking on the man most synonymous with the company, and a man who will challenge Christian Wright for the HI-YAH Heav... COACH Oh will you get off Malibu's jock already? As the announcers exchange Banter, Reject makes his way down the aisle, adjusting his wrist tape, as announcer Michael Buffer introduces him to the crowd. BUFFER Coming down the aisle, weighing in tonight at two hundred, thirty five pounds...from New York City, this is REEEEJECT! A mixture of boos and cheers comes over the crowd, although Reject's cockiness in posing and smirking while on the ring apron probably helped draw more boos than cheers. He steps in the ring and warms up, while his music fades out, and is replaced by that of his opponent. BUFFER His opponent, hailing from Providence, Rhode Island, and weighing in tonight at two hundred pounds, he is "The Franchise" of the OAOAST, ZAAAAAAAAAAACK MAAAAAAAAALIBU! Malibu powerwalks to the ring, as the cheers of the fans nearly drown out "Getting Away With Murder". Zack hits the ring and hops on the apron, but then Reject pounces before the bell, attacking Zack as he steps through the ropes with forearms across the back! Reject then fires Zack off to the ropes, and leaps up with a dropkick, but Malibu bats it away! As he comes up off the mat, Reject catches a kick to the jaw by Zack, and then gets backed up by a flurry of chops before Malibu propels him to the ropes and leaps up, connecting with his own dropkick! Zack gets up and waits in a fighting stance, but Reject bails, throwing up his hands as he circles ringside, getting out of Dodge before Malibu overwhelms him. COLE Something tells me that Reject's plan to take Zack out before Zack had a chance to fight back has backfired! Reject climbs up on the apron and pauses, warning Malibu to stay back as he steps back in the ring. Reject enters cautiously, never taking his eye of Zack, but once he's back in the ring he springs forward and locks up with the popular prep! Reject takes Zack by the head and locks him in a side headlock, and when Zack tries to push him off, he hangs on, bringing Zack with him! Reject wrenches on Zack's head, but Malibu lifts him up off his feet...and Reject floats over and then takes Zack down with a schoolboy! ONE! T-KICKOUT! Zack kicks out of the flash pin rather quickly, and as he comes up he's trapped once again in a side headlock. He struggles again, and this time when he pushes Reject off Reject goes with the momentum, bouncing off the ropes and colliding into Zack with a shoulderblock...but neither man budges! Reject tries again, but this time Zack switches it up, using a drop toehold to take him down, and then comes off the ropes with a low dropkick, nailing Reject on the cheekbone as he rests on all fours! Reject rolls out of the ring again, while the crowd applauds loudly for Zack's ability to keep him at bay! CABOOSE And again, Reject bails! COACH So? Give the man some credit for avoiding potential defeat. CABOOSE It's hard to defeat someone who's always running! COACH Exactly my point! CABOOSE I was talking about the fact that he won't be able to beat Zack that way. COLE Plus, for every time he exits the ring, he's allowing Zack a rest period as well. CABOOSE See? COACH Yeah well, whatever. Charles Robinson starts the count, as Reject paces ringside, thinking of his next course of action. Once again he enters the ring slowly and circles the ring, keeping an eye on Zack just like Zack is doing to him. They move forward for a lockup, but Reject jabs a thumb in the eye, and then connects with several right hands before sending Zack to the ropes and dumping him over with a back bodydrop! He brings Zack up and lifts, trying for a powerbomb, but Malibu slips out and lands on his feet in front of Reject, then scoops him up and slams him down! Zack hits the ropes, but before he can do anything, Reject logrolls across the ring, under the bottom rope and again finds solace out on the floor! COACH Good man Reject, don't let him get on you! Break the momentum! The crowd is really on Reject's case now for all the stalling, and it gets to Zack as well, as this time he gives chase! Reject runs away from Zack and rolls back into the ring, and as Zack climbs in, Reject ducks out the far side of the ring and back out to the floor! COLE Come ON! Get in there! Reject doesn't take too kindly to the boos, telling one fan at ringside "Why don't YOU get in there, and I'll sit in your seat?" The heckler backs off at that point, but he winds up being a detriment to Reject, as Malibu seizes the opportunity to slide out of the ring and take Reject and send him back in! Zack follows him back inside the squared circle, and as Reject gets up and pleads, he's struck with two hard chops, and then taken over with a snap suplex! Reject comes up, but again Malibu suplexes him over, and this time rolls through with it, trapping Reject in a front guillotine choke! CABOOSE Now he can't run! Malibu keeps the hold locked tight, as Reject waves his arms, trying to find a way out of the hold. He pounds at Zack's side, but to no avail, as the blows aren't strong enough to warrant a break. Malibu then pulls him up, still with the head locked, and lifts him off the canvas, carrying him to the corner and planting him on the top rope before striking him with another hard chop! Zack climbs up, but Reject headbutts him, then pushes him off, however Zack lands on his feet and runs right back up the ropes, and hiptosses Reject from the top rope back down to the canvas! Reject lands hard, and screams from the pain surging through his back, which isn't helped when Zack comes running and nails him with a soccer kick between the shoulder blades as he tries to sit up! Zack then covers, hooking the leg, as Robinson drops to his knees for the count! ONE! TW-NO! Zack pulls Reject up and again stuns him with a pair of chops, then hits an inverted atomic drop on his foe before bouncing off the ropes. Malibu comes back towards Reject, who throws up a back elbow to drive Zack away, then picks him up and drops him across his knee with a backbreaker! Reject then hits the ropes and somersaults across the mat, hitting Zack with ROLLING THUNDER~!...or not, as Malibu rolls under the Thunder! Reject slams down on the canvas, and when he rolls over to push himself up, Zack hops over him and cradles him with an Oklahoma Roll! ONE! TWO! NO! Reject again kicks out, and as he comes up Malibu grabs him in a headlock, but he winds up being sent across the ring, as Reject sends him to the ropes. Reject falls to his stomach, causing Zack to have to hop over him on the rebound. Reject then leaps up and tries for a monkey flip, but Zack shoves him off. Reject charges and Zack ducks his head, elevating Reject up and over the ropes, but Reject lands on the apron, throws Zack down to the canvas, and then slingshots over the ropes and lands with a legdrop on Zack Malibu! Reject then gets up and hits the ropes again, and this time with Zack a little more worn out, he connects with Rolling Thunder, crashing down atop the popular prep! COACH The thunder rolls, and the lightning strikes! CABOOSE OK, you just so proved your whiteness by quoting Garth frickin' Brooks! Seeing he's close to the ropes, Reject drags Zack away from them, then springs onto the middle rope and twists in midair, delivering another legdrop to Malibu before covering! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! The crowd roars as Zack rolls a shoulder, but Reject continues to dominate, pulling Zack up and rocking him with a kneelift before hitting the ropes and executing a handspring back elbow...BUT GETS CAUGHT BY THE WAIST AND CARRIED OVER WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX! COLE Ouch! Zack keeps the waistlock applied and rolls through with the move, hitting a second German, then rolls through and hits a third before slowly rising up to his feet, pulling Reject up with him, and then pulling him up for the ANGLE SLAM~!!??!...but Reject slides free, spins Zack around...EULOGY...NO! Zack shoves him off, chest first into the turnbuckles, and then catches him as he stumbles back...ANGLE SLAM~! COVER~! ONE! TWO! TH-NO! REJECT PUTS HIS FOOT ON THE BOTTOM ROPE! COLE So close! COACH Some ring veteran! Zack should have known better! Zack sets Reject up in center ring, keeping an eye on his fallen rival as he exits the ring and climbs the turnbuckles. He sets himself up on the top rope, and waits for a groggy Reject to get to his feet. Once Reject comes up, Malibu flies towards him, sending himself airborne with a high crossbody block...BUT GETS DROPKICKED OUT OF THE AIR BY REJECT!! Malibu goes down in a heap, holding his ribs, and as he comes up, Reject takes him by the head and spikes him into the canvas, nailing him with the EULOGY! COACH HAHA! That's it! Your boy is finished! FINISHED! The crowd gasps as Reject drapes himself across Zack, a smug look on his face as he pulls Zack's leg back, throwing up his fingers along with Robinson's count. ONE! TWO! THR-NO! Reject's waving of three fingers was premature, as Zack Malibu kicks out of the pin! Reject rolls off and pounds the mat, the confronts Robinson before running his hands through his hair in disbelief. Reject then pulls Zack into a standing headscissors, and signals for PITCH BLACK, but at the last second Malibu backdrops his way out of it out of desperation! CABOOSE Malibu counters! COACH Ooooh, a big backdrop! Yippee. Reject will get up from this and... SCHOOL'S OUT~! CABOOOSE You were saying? BUT IT'S CAUGHT BY REJECT! Reject then throws the leg down, and turns his back, reaching back as he prepares to deliver another Eulogy...but Zack pushes him towards the ropes, and Reject can't stop himself from propelling back towards Zack, who springs forward and delivers a SCHOOL'S OUT as he bounces back off the ropes! COLE He ran right into his foot! Did you see him drop! Zack falls on top, and hooks the leg, as the crowd counts along, feeling this is it. ONE! TWO! THREE! DING! DING! DING! COLE What a victory! "Getting Away With Murder" comes over the speakers, as the crowd stand and applaud Zack's victory. Robinson takes the hand of the prep and raises it in the air, as Malibu wipes the sweat from his brow with his free arm. Malibu looks out to the crowd and salutes the fans, but as he turns to exit the ring... COLE What the...Zack, look out! ...he's blasted with a BELTSHOT~! from the HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion, Christian Wright! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Wright, clutching the belt in his right hand, stands over Zack's body, watching as the fresh cut on his forehead starts to drip blood. Wright then motions for the microphone, which a reluctant Charles Robinson gives him. CABOOSE You made your point, now you want to give us a speech!? COACH Let the man speak! Wright hesitates, glaring at the crowd who is still loudly booing, before taking the mic. WRIGHT Zachary...Zachary, can you hear me? It seems that our General Manager has come up with an ingenious scenario for this Sunday, one I think you're going to love. I know I do. You see, if HI-YAH and the OAOAST Corporate Office want to see you challenge me, well then we can't look at that as a negative, oh no. You will get your championship match at Zero Hour. However, nobody ever said what the stipulations needed be, now did they? Due to that lack of thought in the match making process, Axel has informed me to inform you that this Sunday, when you get your shot at the belt held in my hands at this very moment, there will be a special referee for the contest. A man that I have put full faith and trust into in the past, and one who will surely be impartial. This Sunday, when you get your shot Zack, the referee will be BOHEMOTH! COLE WHAT!? NO! COACH YES! Way to go Axel! CABOOSE God damn...sneaks! That's all you are! You can't let the man get a fair shake, can you? COACH After what The Originals have done to us all this time, it's about time we put the odds in our favor! After his announcement, Wright exits the ring, once again raising his belt up above his head as the fans boo his assault. The cameras then close in on Zack, who is being tended to by Robinson, blood dripping down his face, as we cut to commercial break.

Congrats, CDub. Make sure the kid is raised on a healthy diet of teen shows and pop music.

He looks like Danny Trejo.

Because they actually have (had) a lot to offer, had you seen them in OVW. Just like the Heartbreakers/Throbs, another act killed by creative and left to die, solely for sophmoric jokes made at their expense.

Kane and Big Show won't (shouldn't?) have the tag titles by then. At least I'd hope not. I could see one of the SD tag teams being sent to RAW in the "trade". Something like The Dicks for Tomko and Cade, or something like that. Although they'd get the Heartbreakers treatment anyways. Another horribly misused team, those Dicks.