Zack Malibu

I thought the Doane/Nemeth series was good, so I don't think it's been all Punk/Albright carrying him.

Coach is now a full fledged representative of The Upstarts. Caboose has been turned face, for the most part, due to his Originals affiliation.

They could do a lot worse than call up Doane.

You know the deal. Will let you know when done. Tony, Eski, if you feel anything should be edited or added, go for it. DING! DING! DING! The ringbell sounds to gain the attention of the fans, as we are ready for our next contest on HeldDOWN~! Ring announcer extraordinaire Michael Buffer is already in the ring, ready to do his thing, so let's take it to him! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest, set for one fall, is an opening round contest in the Anderson Cup! "Quiet" hits immediately following Buffer's proclomation, and it signifies the entrace of the former OAOAST World Tag Team Champions, and two of the Originals. BUFFER Introducing first, weighing in at a combined weight of five hundred, twenty six pounds, they are the former OAOAST World Tag Team Champions. Tony Brannigan, Dan Black...BLACK T! Brannigan and Black, two of the most dangerous competitors in company history, hit the ring ready for action. Despite their tendencies (Black's especially), the duo gets a respectable amount of cheers from the crowd as they hit the ring. Once their music fades, the sound of "My Own Summer" by The Deftones hits, and it's a new theme for two old faces, back once again to ply their trade on HeldDOWN~! BUFFER Their opponents, weighing in tonight at five hundred, twenty three pounds, this is the team of "Strong Stylin'" JAMES BLONDE, and "The Samoan Tsunami", FAQU! The pair, who started off their careers hating one another, yet stuck together realizing they made quite the team, hit the ring with their "new look", as Blonde now wears long red tights with a black tribal design down the leg, black kneepads, and black boots. Faqu now sports semi-short tights, white with a wave design to reflect his Samoan Tsunami nickname. The team, who has spent much time in Japan working for the HI-YAH promotion, enter the ring and standoff with Black T, who look ready, yet unimpressed with the rejuvenated duo. COLE This should be an interesting contest. We haven't seen Blonde or Faqu for some time, but we do know that they are staples of the HI-YAH promotion over in Japan. COACH Sometimes people need a change of scenery to refresh themselves. Nobody gave these two any credit four years ago when they couldn't get past Mario Logan levels of usefulness, but here they are in the Anderson Cup. Dan Black, an international superstar in his own right, opts to start things out for Black T. James Blonde lets his partner off the hook and starts out for his team, and three dings later the match is underway! Collar and elbow tieup in the middle, and Blonde shows a decisive strength advantage by forcing Black back, pushing him into the corner. Referee Charles Robinson immediately calls for a break, and Blonde does, backing away slowly while Black keeps both eyes zoned in on him. Blonde smirks and waves Black towards him, and the two lock up again, and once again Blonde forces Dan Black back to the corner, then breaks and backs away smirking! CABOOSE OK, are we gonna wrestle here, or what? COACH Man, I think my batshot last week made you MORE bitter. CABOOSE Yeah, but then you run to your buddy Axel to have the imaginary handcuffs thrown on me to protect your ass. COACH Hey, if you need to earn a living so bad, play by the rules, playa. Inside the ring, Black sneers at the cocky look on Blonde's face, and ties up with him again, but as Blonde starts forcing him backwards towards the corner, Dan drops out of the lockup and puts him on his back with a double leg takedown! Black then mounts the upper body of Blonde and starts clubbing at him with forearm shots before deciding to break, and bring Blonde up to his feet. An Irish whip to the ropes sends Blonde bouncing back towards Black, who drops his head and then throws the international star up and over with a high elevation back bodydrop! Blonde squirms as he comes up off the canvas, not noticing Black crouched in the ready position behind him. Blonde staggers to his feet and spins around, right into a kick to the gut...BLACKOUT...NO! Blonde pushes Black away and does the stop, drop and roll routine, right out to the floor! COACH Good man, good thinking! Props to James Blonde! COLE Props for running away? Blonde runs his hand through his hair and backpedals around ringside, but when he turns the corner he's floored by a running lariat from Tony Brannigan, who picks him up and throws him back into the ring! The crowd lets Tony know they approve of the move, while Blonde is both stunned and angered as he comes to his feet. COLE I don't think that this is the week that James Blonde is going to want to take Dan Black and Tony Brannigan lightly. COACH Timing is everything, Cole. Their minds are so warped with what's going on in the company that mentally, they're not prepared to face this duo of Blonde and Faqu. Upset city right here, I'm callin' it! CABOOSE Kind of like the GPX and the Diablos last week, right Coach? Blonde shouts over the ropes at Brannigan, but that's put to a stop when Dan Black swings Blonde around and connects with a hard chop. And another! And another! Black fires him towards the ropes, but it gets reversed, and it's Black who gets sent in. Blonde tucks his head for a back bodydrop, but Black puts on the brakes and yanks on Blonde's hair, sending him down to the canvas on his back! Black then goes and takes his legs, pulling them apart, and then delivers a hard stomp to the wide open midsection, causing Blonde to curl up in agony! Black then goes and tags in Brannigan, who gets right to work, pulling Blonde up and applying a side headlock. COLE The former World Heavyweight Champion is now the legal man, and so far Black T has looked as dominant as ever, here in this Anderson Cup bout. Tony wrenches the head of Blonde, but is eventually shoved to the ropes. The weary Blonde drops to his stomach, but Tony leaps over him and runs to the far side...but as he rebounds Blonde swings his body around, rolling from his stomach onto his side and sweeping both of Tony's legs out from under him! Blonde gets to his feet, then jumps onto Tony's chest, driving both feet into it with a stomp, and then tags in the big man, Faqu. COACH Oooooh boy, this could get interesting. The Samoan Tsunami steps through the ropes slowly, eyeing Brannigan the whole way. Tony rises to his feet clutching his chest, no doubt angered at being stomped on. Faqu offers an evil sneer towards his opponent, and the two circle the ring before tying up...although they don't get that far, as when Tony throws his arms up, Faqu connects with a roundhouse kick to the ribs! Faqu then tilts Tony's head back and brings his open palm down across his with a chop that staggers Brannigan! The large Samoan then scoops Tony up...but before he's slammed the canvas Brannigan slips free, then turns Faqu around and levels the 290 pounder with a scoop slam! COLE Thunderous slam by Brannigan! Faqu rolls to his feet almost immediately, fighting off the effects of that slam, when Brannigan bounces off the ropes and nails him with a running kneelift! Brannigan hits the ropes again, but this time runs right into a side savate kick from the Samoan Tsunami (c'mon, TRY to say that three times fast), and the resulting impact turns him around as he staggers towards the ropes...where Blonde takes him by the head and drops his throat on the top rope! Brannigan then reels backwards, right into the waiting arms of Faqu, who hoists him overhead and drops him on the back of his neck with a release German suplex! The big man then gets up and charges to the ropes, coming off with a BIG SPLASH~! that drives the wind out of Tony's body, and resulst in Blonde and Faqu making the first pin attempt of the contest! ONE! T-KICKOUT! CABOOSE The first pinfall didn't go so well for Blonde and Faqu, but the very idea that this team, at one time relegated to lowercard matches, have come so far in recent years that they can hang with Black T and be entered into this tournament is a testament to their abilities. Faqu pries Tony off the canvas and immediately whips him to the corner, but when the big man charges in, Tony kicks both feet up into his chest, driving him back! Tony bursts forward with a lariat, but Faqu ducks it, and when Tony turns back around, he's grabbed in a hug (but not an affectionate one, oh no) and laid out with a belly to belly suplex! Faqu drags Tony towards the ropes and tags in Blonde, who slingshots over the ropes at the same ti the huge Samoan star hits a STANDING MOONSAULT, and together they land on Brannigan with tremendous impact! COLE AMAZING! A near 300 pound man with that agility is a force to be reckoned with! Blonde covers, hooking the leg... ONE! TW-NO! Black runs in and hits a boot to the head of the Strong Stylin' Superstar, breaking up the pin! COACH See, now this match would be over, but in typical Original fashion... CABOOSE ...typical ORIGINAL fashion? As if you and The Upstarts haven't... COACH Uh uh, 'boose. Remember, show an unbiased effort, or those checks you bring home are going to stop. The blackmailed broadcaster hushes up, but it's against his will, as Blonde gets up and complains to the referee about Black's involvement. Blonde turns his attention from Robinson back to Brannigan, but is caught by the veteran with a fireman's carry that dumps him on his back! As Blonde gets up, Tony goes up with him, and takes him by the wrist, then follows up with an arm wrench, and finally, a hard chop that echoes throughout the building! Blonde reels, then fires back with one of his own, equally as hard...so Tony fires back with a right hand that drops the blonde bomber! Blonde staggers to his feet, right into an inverted atomic drop, and then is taken over with a snap suplex, complete with Tony rolling over into a cover on Blonde! ONE! TW-KICKOUT! COLE Tony looking to put the duo of Blonde and Faqu away, but it's not as easy as he may have thought. Tony pulls Blonde up and rocks him with another suplex, and then tags in Black, who steps through the ropes and starts putting the boots to Blonde. He hoists him up and sends him to the ropes, and Blonde rebounds right into a back elbow, then gets hooked by the waist and dumped on his head with a quick back suplex! Black pulls him up and fires off a pair of forearms to the back of the neck, then shoves Blonde to the ropes again and tries a hiptoss, but Blonde prevents himself from being tossed over, strikes Black with a knee to the gut, and hits a double underhook release suplex that sends Black across the ring! COACH Nice distance on that toss! Black pushes up to his feet, but as he does Blonde comes over and springs off the canvas onto his shoulders, snapping him over with a quick huracanrana! Blonde then paces himself, not wanting to overdo his efforts, and as Black pushes up off the canvas again, Blonde hits the ropes and comes behind Black with a running lariat, blasting him hard across the back of the head! COLE A Northern lariat has just dropped Dan Black, and we've got a cover going on in the ring! This could be it! ONE! TW-NO! Dan Black rolls a shoulder right at the count of two! Blonde traps Black in a front facelock and brings him towards his corner, tagging in the big man, who enters and delivers a kick to the open ribs of Black. A chop across the back follows, and then Black is rocked by a European uppercut...but musters the strength to fire one of his own and nail Faqu! Faqu responds with a hard chop to the chest, and Black responds with one of his own to that as well, then blinds him with an eye rake! Black then sets Faqu up as if for a Russian legsweep, but instead delivers a back mule kick between the legs that keels the big man over! Robinson protests the low blow, but Black bounds right past him, and comes off the ropes with a swinging neckbreaker to his opponent! Black gets up and nails Blonde with a punch, knocking him down to the floor, before rolling Faqu onto his stomach and leaping into the air, coming down with a hard knee to the back of the neck! COLE Dan Black has succeeded in getting the big man on the mat, and...WAIT! Heart of Ice coming up! Black lays on the mat and pulls back on Faqu's head, and nearly locks on his patented crossface hold...until Blonde reaches in and drags Dan out to the floor by his ankle! Blonde delivers a kick to the stomach and then cracks Black between the shoulder blades with a hard forearm, but as he sets Black in a standing headscissors position, Dan manages to grab his arm and twist, going behind him with the arms locked behind his head... ...AND THEN DROS JAMES BLONDE WITH A RELEASE DRAGON SUPLEX ON THE FLOOR! CABOOSE HIS NECK! MY GOD! COACH Oh yeah, what an accomplished broadcaster, uttering a whole four syllables. "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" Black gets up, as the crowd chants in shock. All of a sudden, Faqu dusts himself off and gets to his feet, then hits the ropes, DIVING THROUGH THE ROPES with a bodypress that floors the stunned Dan Black, and further shocks the crowd! COLE HE'S TWO HUNDRED AND NINETY POUNDS AND HE JUST SOARED LIKE AN EAGLE! We've never seen that out of Faqu before! COACH Seems like HI-YAH has paid off for these two. The "holy shit" chants don't stop with the Dragon Suplex, as they continue for the big man's dive. He gets up and tosses Blonde back into the ring, then hops up on the apron...AND HITS A SLINGSHOT SENTON ON DAN BLACK! COVER! ONE! TWO! NO! FOOT ON THE ROPE! COACH That was pure luck! Faqu drags Black away from the ropes, then runs into them, getting some momentum before he leaps in the air and comes down on Dan Black with another splash...BUT LANDS ON NOTHING BUT KNEE! Faqu curls up into a ball, while Black rolls onto his stomach and crawls for his corner. COLE Dan Black's got to make the tag here. CABOOSE I don't think anyone will stop him. Certainly not James Blonde! Black makes the tag with ease, and a crowd pop comes up for Tony's entrance back into the match! He rocks the recovering Samoan with a trifecta of right hands, then sends him to the ropes and lifts the big man off his feet, rocking the ring as he drives him to the canvas with a hard powerslam! Tony hooks the leg, and Robinson dives to the canvas to make the count... ONE! TWO! T-NO! ...but the big man escapes, getting his shoulder up at the last second! COLE He's fighting, but how much more can Faqu take, especially without a partner to tag in? CABOOSE Imagine defeating Black T despite those odds, though? What a coup that could be! Tony brings Faqu up, but a throat thrust knocks the former World Champion back a few steps...and a jump spinning wheel kick knocks him down to the canvas! Brannigan holds his jaw and makes sure it's not dislocated as he rolls around on the mat, while Faqu heads for the corner and starts climbing the ropes. He looks down on the floor to see his partner still laid out, but then continues his climb up to the top...but a groggy Tony stumbles towards the ropes and shakes them enough to crotch the big man on top! Faqu falls hard, then falls back to the mat with a resounding thud, and Tony is right there to pick up the pieces. He sends the big man into the ropes, and waits with open arms, catching im with the OUT OF BODY...NO! Faqu boxes the ears of Tony, then sends him to the ropes...where Black makes a blind tag! Faqu catches Tony and presses him up over his head, but before he can drop him Black comes in and delivers a kick to the stomach, which drops Tony on his feet behind Faqu...AND THEN BLACK HITS A BLACKOUT ON FAQU~! The big man teeters, but he's caught before he falls and spun around by Tony, who shows his strength by hitting THE OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE on him, leaving him prone for a Black cover! ONE! TWO! THREE! DING! DING! DING! "Quiet" hits, but the fans are anything but, after that impressive victory from the most acclaimd tag team in company history. COLE Like their methods or not, they have advanced in the Anderson Cup! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen your winners, advancing on in the tournament...BLLLLLAAAAAAACK TEEEEEEE! Dan Black hovers over the big Samoan, sneering, then looks up towards the hard camera and chuckles a bit. Tony goes and gets on the second rope and raises his hands up, then turns to the camera as well and offers a nod, showing that both men know just how good they are. CABOOSE Tough loss for Blonde and Faqu, ESPECIALLY the former, who is still out at ringside! COACH The loss will be easier for him to take that way. As Tony poses on the ropes, he looks across the crowd, smiling...but the smile fades as he locks eyes with one man in the crowd. A look of confusion crosses Brannigan's face as he spies Hoff, the former star applauding the dominant Black T victory. COACH Uh-oh. COLE It looks like Tony Brannigan has caught sight of Hoff...and I don't think he likes what he's seeing! Tony climbs down from the ropes and immediately steps through the ring ropes, hopping onto the floor below. As the fans in front stretch their arms, trying to get a feel of T-Bod's chiseled physique, Brannigan puts his hands on his hips. The carefree attitude Hoff has sported all evening is gone in an instant, replaced by a look of hesitance and confusion. Hoff shrugs as the words "what are you doing here?" are heard coming from Tony's lips. CABOOSE Well, it's about time that somebody took offense to that man's presence. Tony is shouting at Hoff, gesturing wildly with his hands. Hoff, taken aback, can only hold out his hands, trying to calm the former OAOAST champ down. Brannigan, though, is having none of it. At this point, Dan Black, who had been jawing with some fans on the other side of the ring, slowly makes his way to the scene, not really understanding what's going on. COLE It looks like...it looks like Tony is taking offense to Hoff's presence-- CABOOSE Wouldn't you? COLE ...but Hoff doesn't seem to want any of it! Brannigan, agitated, waves Hoff off and turns to leave, but after a step, he doubles back, getting right in Hoff's face. Pressed against the guardrail (giving one lucky lady a hell of a show!), Tony waves Hoff on, begging him to get out of his seat. CABOOSE Don't waste your time, Tony, the man's a coward. COLE Caboose, like him or not, Hoff hasn't done anything tonight, he seems like he's just here as a fan. CABOOSE After what he did, I'll never trust him. Hoff shakes his head, turning away from Tony and sitting back in his chair. Disgusted, Tony grabs the Pepsi-Cola cup out of a young girl's hand and hurls it in Hoff's face! The fans "oooooh" as the cup explodes on Hoff's cheek, sending the cola spraying all over the big man's face, hair, and white shirt. COLE Oh...my. COACH It's on now! COLE Tony has... Hoff's eyes widen, his jaw drops, and his fists clench as, in an instant, the big man is on his feet. Fans start cheering as Tony pulls his arm free from a genuinely surprised Dan Black, smiles a dark smile at Hoff and waves him on. Hoff breathes deeply, then snaps his arm up, aiming an index finger squarely at Brannigan. Hoff shoves a couple fans aside and steps up a row. The two men jut their heads out, nearly nose-to-nose as the insults fly. CABOOSE Come on, Tony, let him have it! Black looks on incredulously as the two powerhouses seem ready to come to blows-- but out of nowhere, OAOAST Security is on the scene! Carl Winslow leads the charge, grabbing Tony by the shoulders, and Black helps out, actually pulling his partner from the fight! Meanwhile, the same detail that escorted Hoff to his seat has grabbed his arms, pulling him back and ushering him away! COLE It's a good thing security has arrived, because these two men were ready to go! COACH Good thing? We could have had Tony Brannigan taken out! CABOOSE You watch your mouth, you punk. The arena buzzes as both men are slowly led away. Once Hoff is halfway up the steps, Tony is let go, and the veteran superstar levels a glare at Hoff, telling him "don't you EVER set foot here again." Hoff's eyes are wild as the cola drips from the bottom of his shirt, snarling as he's escorted from the building. COLE Well I cannot believe what we have just seen! Hoff is gone, but he--he definitely made an impact! Good lord! Brannigan holds up his arms as he walks backwards through the curtain, playing to a cheering crowd. Security follows him, and Dan Black, with a smug grin, brings up the rear. COLE Well Black T successful in the Anderson Cup, proving again how great they are as a team. We'll have more great action, right after this.

Dammit, I want to earn more money so I can buy a house sometime this century. Now that I'm 25, I'm on the 5 year plan, dammit. Wife, kids, house before the big 3-0. Hook a brother up! Make me live tax free!

Spread the wealth, or else I'm going to call and harrass you during the day. Every day. Forever. And ever. Or not. But seriously, kudos to you. And fear not, you know the door is open whenever you've got the time to write something up.

I'm all for it, Alf. I've had Getting Away With Murder since my heel turn in '04, as it fit the persona of Zack thinking he was untouchable. I kept it since it's a very "aggressive" song and fits the whole "aggressive face" mode Zack's been in since turning back to the side of good, but I've also been contemplating changing it to something fresh.

James Blonde and Faqu vs. Black T in an Anderson Cup tournament match. Zack Malibu speaks on Axel's revelation, PK's turn, the NNMX feud, the war in Iraq, how to make more money now, and what to do on a first date. PLUS MORE!

According to the latest WON, Jarrett curbed the rumors of the X-Tag Titles, stating that when you keep adding title belts, you just dilute the value of all the belts you have, which is true. Look no further than WWE for proof of that.

So one of the ideas that's been discussed lately was to lessen the amount of mods who have access to this folder. I'm cool with that if everyone else is, as maybe some element of surprise could be one of the things to get things turning around for the better (well, not that things are bad, but you know what I mean). Anyways, my choices/suggestions for the few mods for GCF would be...::drumroll:: Zack Malibu Tony149 Nice Guy Adam (as long as he continues to help with PPV's and HeldDOWN) ...and PK would be the forth, but there's no need to "make" him an OAOAST mod since he can see it anyways. Same for CC when she has things to submit. This would remove Popick, KC, Eski, Patty, and Chuck from the "mod roster". Let me know what you think, and if it works.

This is done as well, don't forget it!

Getting an early start on things! I'll work on this here and like usual, update when I'm done. COLE Up next we have a first round match as part of the Anderson Cup tag team tournament, featuring last years winners, and one of the newer teams on the OAOAST scene. COACH Yeah, not to mention earlier tonight the Global Party Exchange were put at a severe disadvantage by being jumped by Zack Malibu and the rest of The Originals! COLE Oh please...severe disadvantage? Give me a break. Missy Elliot's "Work It" hits, and from the back, dancing and prancing, come the popular-yet-prissy Mexicans that are taking the OAOAST by storm. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest, set for one fall, is a first round match in the ANDERSON CUP! Approaching the ring at this time, at a combined weight of three hundred and forty pounds, Mariachi and Moracca, LOS DIABLOS DEL FUEGO~! The two fey Luchadores come out, leading Chicks Over Dicks own Alix Spezia by the hand! COACH Well look, it's just mass gender confusion here tonight on HeldDOWN~! As the lights strobe, the Diablos pump and thrust their way to the ring, with Alix following close behind. Some of the male fans at ringside aren't so lucky (or are, I mean, who's to judge...) as the Diablos plant a few smooches on their cheeks before entering the ring. COACH They better not get near me, that's all I know. COLE It'd be the most you've gotten in months! The Mexican Phat Dance is broken up by the sound of "Make Her Say" replacing Missy Elliot's dance anthem, and the once popular theme song receives nothing but jeers upon it's cue. COACH Yeah, here we go! Defending champs right here! Last years winners of The Anderson Cup, and key Upstart members Johnny Jax and Scotty Static, aka the Global Party Exchange, emerge from the back, looking more displeased with their current situation than ever before. COLE It has been a long night for the GPX before they even set foot in the ring, and now they have to contend with this fast rising team out of Cabo San Lucas! BUFFER Now coming down the aisle, the opponents. They weigh in at a combined weight of four hundred, twenty five pounds, and are the winners of last years Anderson Cup...JOHNNY JAX, SCOTTY STATIC...THE GLOBAL PARTY EXCHANGE! The GPX, who at one point bopped and hopped to the ring like they had ADD and took caffeine pills, simply approach the ring quietly and hop inside. Neither man looks happy with what's gone on so far tonight, and having to face the eccentric duo from Mexico has obviously not changed that tune. As the bell sounds, Static and Jax stay put, wary of moving towards the effeminate luchadores who are thrusting their pelvis' in their direction. Jax then pats Static on the shoulder and steps out of the ring, leaving Scotty to take a deep sigh, not enthused about being left to start the contest off for the Global Party Exchange. COLE One of the most dominant tag teams in OAOAST history are about to square off with one of the most unusual teams we've ever seen, and coming from a company like ours, that's saying a LOT! CABOOSE The GPX are looking for a repeat performance in this year's Cup, especially now that their new attitudes reflects their motivation. Winning the Cup would be yet another coup for The Upstarts in their quest to be receieved on the same level as The Originals. Mariachi offers to start, and his partner gives him a quick buttslap before moving out to the apron. As he and Static circle each other. Mariachi drops to all fours and makes a kissy face at Scotty Static, then moves forward...but the homophobic Static rushes out of the ring and hops to the floor! Mariachi rolls to his feet and does a little hip swivel that draws a loud pop from the crowd, while Static slams his hands on the apron and tells the fans to shut their yaps (although he actually says "shut up", but shut your yaps was just so much more descriptive!). That only increases the admiration of the man-loving luchadores, and the crowd finds another way to get under Static's skin. "LOS DIABLOS!" clap clap clapclapclap "LOS DIABLOS!" clap clap clapclapclap "LOS DIABLOS!" clap clap clapclapclap Infuriated by the crowd support for the flamboyant duo, Static slides back into the ring and charges! Mariachi waves him on, then sidesteps the charge, sending Scotty to the ropes! He leaps up for a monkey flip, but Scotty shoves him down to his feet and then grabs a side headlock. He wrenches the Mexican's head, although not in the way Mariachi had hoped...so it fuels Mariachi to slip his head free and grab a rear waistlock...and feel Scotty up! Disgusted, Static pulls away and brushes himself off, while the crowd roars! Mariachi blows a kiss to Static to fuel his rage some more, and when Scotty charges, he runs right into a drop toehold! Mariachi then gets up and hits the surfboard, although not in the usual wrestling sense...instead, he literally stands on the back of Scotty Static and makes like he's riding the waves! Jax comes in and tries to run interference, but Mariachi hops off Static and starts thrusting towards Jax! Johnny puts his hands up and quietly steps back out to the apron as if he was never in the ring in the first place. CABOOSE It seems that the GPX are intimidated by their foes, because they're not able to get this off the ground yet. COLE If you were Mariachi or Moracca you wouldn't want them to get off the ground either! CABOOSE HA! Cole, you kill me. COACH Yo, whattabout... CABOOSE He kills me. I want to kill you. Big difference. Static rises to his feet, but Mariachi takes his arm and twists, and delivers an elbow to Scotty's forearm. As Static staggers, Mariachi pulls him into a standing headscissors, thrusting his hips as he leads Scotty's head between his knees...but Static counters by taking his legs out from under him, then delivering a vicious stomp to the nether regions! COACH Haha, yeah boy! Show 'em how it's done Scotty! Mariachi reels, and an infurated Moracca runs in and clobbers Scotty with some right hands for what he just did, only to be pushed away by Nick Patrick! Patrick orders him out, but Moracca is concerned with the well-being of his tag team and life partner, and checks on his condition, aiding in his recovery by giving him a quick rub! COLE Now that's sportsmanship. Only a true friend could rub another man's genitals in public. CABOOSE ...we're just "work friends", right? Because I can't do that for you. Moracca helps Mariachi to his feet and gives him another buttslap, sending him on his way back into action. Static and Mariachi tie up, and Static goes behind, then pulls the Mexican stars legs out from under him, sending him falling face first into the canvas! Static then drops an elbow to the back of his head, and then starts rubbing his face in the canvas, smearing and grinding it into the mat! Mariachi moans in pain, but it's muffled as Static continues the act of face-mashing. Scotty then pulls him up to his feet and delivers a standing dropkick to the back of the neck, sending Mariachi through the ropes! The luchadore hangs on, and slowly pulls himself up, then clocks Static with a forearm to defend himself as Scotty charges him! Static falls back a few steps, and then Mariachi bursts back into the ring with a springboard spinning leg lariat! Mariachi then hops up on the middle rope, but before he can come down onto his fallen foe, Jax pushes him off the ropes! Mariachi reacts quickly, as he lands on his feet and then shoots his body through the ropes, ramming his shoulder into Jax's stomach! He then reaches over the ropes and takes Johnny over, dropping the other half of the GPX onto his own partner with a suplex! COLE Mariachi just used Scotty Static's OWN PARTNER on him to inflict punishment, and the GPX have scattered! Both members of the GPX roll out to the floor, each one on an opposite side of the ring. After engaging in a celebratory dance with his partner, Mariachi races up the ropes, as does Moracca. With the members of the Global Party Exchange still stunned, the Diablos leap into action...LITERALLY, as they hit stereo flip planchas from the top rope down onto their opponents! CABOOSE Aerial assault! The GPX are down! The fans applaud, as Alix Spezia leads them into a frenzy as she applauds her two amigos (amigas?) when they pop up to their feet and roll into the ring, where they do a celebratory train dance around the ring before breaking apart and giving the crowd some more thrust action! COACH Ya know, what's this yak hanging out with the Fruit Loops for anyways? Doesn't she know she's just wasting her time? CABOOSE Does it bother you that women pay more attention to gay Mexican wrestlers than you? Don't be bitter now. The GPX dust themselves off and come up onto the apron, and Static is pulled back in by both Diablos with a double hiptoss! Jax protests, but Nick Patrick orders him to the corner! Moracca ducks out, but seconds later he's tagged in legally, and the Diablos work together, sending him into the ropes and throwing him overhead with a high elevation backdrop! Mariachi goes out to the apron while Alix directs traffic for the eccentric duo, rooting on Moracca as he backs Scotty into the ropes once again. He sends him off the ropes, but Static reverses the momentum and sends Moracca into the ropes...and right into a kick to the back from Johnny! Moracca staggers right into a rana from Static, and with the alternative lifestyle superstar dizzied from the move, a tag is made to bring Johnny Jackson into the contest! COLE Tag made by Static, and Jax isn't too happy about the way Los Diablos have toyed with them so far. Jax bursts into the ring and clobbers Moracca in the back of the head with a running forearm, then stands him up and breaks for the ropes, delivering a hard lariat as he rebound! Moracca goes back to the mat, but Jax pulls him up and takes him by the head, then runs him to the corner and hurls him headfirst into the top turnbuckle! Moracca reels back, and Jax takes him and lifts him off his feet, then drops him on the top rope and seats him there! Johnny then climbs up as well, but as he attempts to yank the luchadore off the top rope, Moracca fights back by firing some back elbows that knock Johnny down to the canvas, but when Moracca tries to stand on the top rope, Jax gets up and charges the corner, knocking him off balance and causing him to crotch himself on the top! The crowd "oooooooooooooooooh's" with sympathy pains, while Mariachi bites his nails over watching his partner take that hit! Jax then pulls him down into a Tree of Woe and stomps away, wearing him out so that he's even more prone to assault! CABOOSE Johnny Jax is really opening up with those kicks to the chest and chin. COACH Yeah, the two places Alix Spezia likes people to make their deposits, if you pick up what I'm puttin' down! CABOOSE Yes, because talking like THAT will get you laid! COACH Ya mama. Jax moves across the ring to the opposite corner, but as he charges across the canvas, Moracca manages to flip himself off the turnbuckles, and connect with a jumping back elbow to Jackson! He brings Jax up, but Johnny fights back by hooking his arms, and pulling him over with a backslide...but Moracca floats through! He takes Johnny's legs out from under him, putting him on his back...then spreads Johnny's legs and falls on top of him, missionary style! A few quick thrusts is all it takes to have the crowd roaring and Jax rolling away ASAP, seeking refuge in the GPX corner! CABOOSE You know that society is evolving when THAT gets a babyface pop! Jax charges from the corner and fires off a running YAKUZA KICK~!, but Moracca rolls under it and leaps onto the middle rope, then dives off and twists his body around to land with a bodypress on him! Johnny throws him off at the count of one, but as he comes up he gets spiked with a quick DDT from the Mexican jumping bean! A tag is then made to Mariachi, and Moracca slingshots his own partner in, sending him over the ropes with a senton onto Johnny before leaping up to the top rope and executing a corkscrew 450 splash! Moracca rolls out of the ring, leaving Johnny all to Mariachi, and a cover is made! ONE! TW-NO! The count is broken up by Static, who races in and boots Mariachi in the head. Nick Patrick gets up angrily and directs Scotty out to the apron, which causes a distraction as Jax strikes with a low blow behind Patrick's back when Mariachi tries bringing him to his feet! The luchadore crumbles in pain, but Johnny grabs him by the throat and stands him up, then presses him over his head and brings him down onto his knee with a gutbuster! He makes his way to his corner and tags in Static, who hops up to the top rope and dives off in cannonball formation before crashing down onto Mariachi with his full weight! COLE Cannonball senton connects! Static rolls over and covers, but just as Patrick hits "two", Moracca runs in the ring and drags Scotty off his partner by the ankle! COACH YO! Get that cakeeater outta there! GPX woulda won this! Moracca steps back out to the apron, but Scotty moves towards him and piefaces him, sending him down to the floor! Alix rushes over to check on him, then hops on the apron herself, getting in the face of her rival! Static snickers, then piefaces HER as well, but when he turns around Mariachi leaps up and brings him over with a rana, and keeps the legs hooked! ONE! TW-NO! Static kicks out, but when he comes up he's struck with a pair of chops, then sent to the ropes...where Jax makes a blind tag! Scotty slides through the legs of the fey fighter and comes up behind him...so that when Mariachi turns around the GPX connects with their Legsweep/Yakuza Kick combo! Jackson covers immediately as Static disappears to the outside... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! ...but Mariachi manages to get a shoulder up! Jax pounds the canvas and then tells Patrick how to count, even though if Nick didn't he wouldn't have made it past kindergarten. At any rate, after the math lesson Jax brings Mariachi up and lifts him onto his shoulders...but the lucha superstar squirms like he's lathered in baby oil, and manages to slip free! He runs Johnny to the ropes for a rollup, but when Jax clings to the ropes to prevent from going over, Mariachi continues to hump away anyways! The action infuriates Johnny and he turns around and charges...right into a hiptoss! Johnny gets up rather quickly, but then gets blasted with a dropkick to the knee that knocks him down to all fours, and Mariachi follows up with La Magistral! ONE! TWO! NO! The former World Tag Team Champion kicks out, but while he's reeling, Mariachi is able to tag in Moracca, much to the delight of the crowd! Jax gets up in a fog, and when he turns around he sees that Moracca is airborne, springboarding into the ring with a sunset flip! ONE! TW-NO! Jax rolls through, and when he comes to his feet he pulls Moracca up, then plants him with a hard powerbomb before falling backwards! He scrambles towards the corner and tags in Static, and with Moracca laid out in the center of the ring, Scotty takes to the air, leaping off the top and twisting around to deliver his trademark senton bomb known as the STATIC SHOCK! COLE That could spell the end for the Diablos! Static covers, counting along with Patrick...until a springboard legdrop from Mariachi puts an end to the count just before the three count! COACH That is the SECOND time they've done that! CABOOSE Compare it to what the GPX has gotten away with in their matches and it doesn't measure up. Kind of like when you use the urinal next to me. The crowd gives the tactic its seal of approval, but when Mariachi goes to exit the ring, an angry Static floors him with a running forearm to the back of the head that sends him spilling out to the floor! Static then motions for Jax to come into the ring, and together they prepare to deliver the hard-hitting trademark known as the Chain Letter...however as Scotty lifts Moracca up for the powerbomb, the feisty Mexican grabs Johnny's head and kicks off of Scotty's shoulders, floating up and over with an inverted DDT to the larger member of the Exchange! Alix leaps off her feet in celebration, but it's short-lived as Scotty delivers a boot and then butterflies the arms of Moracca...only to have the hold broken, as Moracca twists out and pulls Static towards him, then lifts him upside down...AND PLANTS HIM WITH A MARTINETE! COLE It's illegal in Mexico, but it's fair game here! Moracca covers, and the other halves of both teams out on the floor licking their wounds, nothing will get in the way of the three count! ONE! TWO! THREE! DING! DING! DING! CABOOSE They did it! Los Diablos Del Fuego have just made a HUGE impression on the OAOAST by defeating last years winners in the first round! The crowd goes BANANA~! as "Work It" is cued up, signalling the biggest win of the Diablos career. Mariachi gets up and enters the ring, rushing into his partner's waiting arms! Moracca scoops his partner up and gives him a big ol' love hug, while Alix Spezia comes in and joins the party. COLE Look at how happy they are...and the people love it! CABOOSE Well, gay does mean happy, so it's fairly appropriate to use that term tonight! On the outside of the ring, Jax helps Static, who is holding his head, to walk steadily. The Global Party Exchange have had the carpet swept out from under them by the underdog team, and it's not something that the Upstarts contingent will take lightly. CABOOSE Well Coach, looks like there's not going to be a clean sweep of the tournmanet by any of your Upstart buddies, and look who you have to thank for it. COLE Heh, hey Caboose...these two guys get more women than Coach could, and they don't even LIKE them! COACH Why don't you shut up you half a sissy...you belong up their with them. You Streisand. COLE Eat me. COACH Oh you'd like that now wouldn't you. Los Diablos dip out of the ring and hold Alix's hand as she hops down from the apron. They walk up the aisle fueled by the cheers of the fans, and stop to hug and plant kisses on several (male) fans cheeks before disappearing from sight.

Done and done. And done, even!

COLE Welcome fans to the first HeldDOWN~! of two-thousand-six! We are live from the Nashville Arena in Nashville, TN, ready for a great night of action and...well look who decided to show up! CABOOSE Jerry Lawler? COLE Nah, we're not in Memphis. Cole is, of course, talking about The Upstarts. Scotty Static leads the pack of youngbloods that includes his GPX partner Johnny Jax, HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion Christian Wright, streetwise newcomer Jamie O'Hara, and of course the metrosexual monster himself, Bohemoth. They enter the arena with their heads held high, feeling a sense of victory after the OAOAST Home Office Invasion that they commited and recorded just about a week ago. In fact, they're still flaunting it because they're all wearing OAOAST title belts that were stolen in that raid! O'HARA Yo, tell me again why I got stuck wit dis...Adrenalin belt. What the hell is an Adrenalin Championship? STATIC Beats me. You know how the OAOAST just strives to be trendy. O'HARA I gue...OH SHIT! *SMASH* The sound of glass bursting on skin fills the air, as ZACK MALIBU is on the scene, and breaks a light tube across the back of Christian Wright! The Upstarts stop dead in their tracks and pounce on Malibu in defense of their foe, but Zack comes out swinging, trying to nail anyone within reach! COLE Zack Malibu has just jumped The Upstarts in the backstage area! COACH Oh yeah, this was a bright move! The Upstarts pummel Zack, beating him down to the ground with clubbing fists and hard kicks and stomps. Zack tries fighting up, but for every inch The Upstarts give back a mile...until TONY BRANNIGAN AND LEON RODEZ appear on the scene to make the odds better! COLE What the!? Tony Brannigan, as well as Zack's partner Leon Rodez have entered the fray! Tony takes his old rival Johnny Jax and starts clocking him with right hands, then takes him by the head and hurls him across the catering table, sending food flying everywhere! Meanwhile Leon Rodez tackles his nemesis Christian Wright and hammers him...until Bohemoth pulls Leon off him and then sends him face first into a wall! COLE The Upstarts are taking o...wait...Caboose, what are you doing? CABOOSE What should have been done a LONG time ago. The former World Heavyweight Champion reaches under the Sofa Central announce table and pulls out a black bat, a Caboose trademark! He then hops out of his seat and over the table, racing backstage to aid Zack Malibu and the other Originals! COLE It's a melee to start the show, and now Caboose has just put his name in the hat, going to save the day with baseball bat in hand! The cameras are still filming backstage as the brawl ensues, and when Scotty Static moves towards Malibu, he's cracked across the back with the bat of Caboose, and goes down hard! Caboose turns around to see Jamie O'Hara charging with the Adrenalin title held firmly in his grasp, looking for a beltshot...but Caboose swings for the fences and cracks Jamie so hard in the ribs he somersaults over the bat and lands flat on his back! COACH He has no business back there! He belongs out here with us! COLE Back there beating the crap out of your buddies, or out here tormenting the crap out of you? What's the lesser of two evils? COACH Uhhh... Suddenly, an attempt to restore order is made, as a security force arrives on the scene and splits the two factions apart, prying The Originals away from the Upstarts while other security team members make a wall. Everyone is flustered and aching, but time stands still only momentarily, as the security-inflicted truce breaks down into a second melee, with both sides trying to fight through security! COLE The tension has been thick for months, but it hit a fever pitch when these Upstarts burglarized the Corporate Office, ransacked it, and worst of all, literally pissed on the OAOAST! As both sides struggle with security, the forces of resistance crumble, and both factions are going at it again! This time road agents, other wrestlers...anyone and everyone backstage, actually...all hit the scene and try to regain order. In the midst of all this, the fight spills through the curtain and out onto the entrance ramp, drawing a large pop from the crowd, when Bohemoth takes Zack Malibu by the throat and hurls him through the curtain, out onto the aisleway! COLE They're making their way out here now! Malibu tries to get up, but the big man tears off his suit jacket and charges, delivering a hard soccer kick to the ribs that sends Zack rolling further down the aisleway! A security team member rushes down the aisle and blocks Bo's path from getting at Malibu, but he's easily disposed of, as the big man takes him by the throat and shoves him hard into the guardrail! COACH Ooooh they done pissed Bo off tonight! COLE Oh what, did his suit get ruined? COACH Probably! Bohemoth stalks Malibu in the aisle way, then pulls him up by the collar of his leather jacket and throws him under the bottom rope, into the ring. The big man follows and hits the ropes, rebounding just as Malibu is getting up, and LEVELS him with a lariat that spins Zack inside out! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!" COACH Damn right "ooooh!". Your boy is about to get served, Mikey Cole! Seperated from their respective factions, Malibu and Bo are in full view of the audience and away from the backstage brawl. Seeing that he's got the advantage on the man who instigated the brawl, Bo reaches down and pulls Zack up, but Malibu bursts up with great energy, and starts delivering right hands like they're going out of style! COLE Zack Malibu is fighting back! He's fighting off the Bohemoth! (Bo puts a stop to it all by kneeing Zack in the ribs, and then setting him up in a standing headscissors.) COLE Zack Malibu is in grave danger! Bo lifts for a powerbomb attempt, but Malibu slips out and lands on his feet, stepping back before launching his right leg upwards...AND GETS TACKLED TO THE CANVAS BY SECURITY BEFORE HE CAN CONNECT WITH SCHOOL'S OUT! COACH About damn time! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The crowd lets the security force HAVE IT, and Malibu is angered by the interference. Several guards stand between Bo and Zack, while two others pull Zack up by his arms and hold him, making sure he doesn't take off after the big man. Suddenly, a mixed reaction comes over the crowd, as AXEL, the new General Manager, takes the stage with mic in hand! COLE It's Axel! Our new General Manager does NOT look happy! Michael Cole states the obvious, as the scowl on Axel's face only disappears when he has to move his lips to speak. AXEL No no NO! This is NOT the way we are going to begin things, certainly not on my watch! This is a new year and I am the man in charge, and I will not have chaos ruin my first night in control! Zack Malibu, you want to be a hothead tonight, jumping people in the back? You want action that bad? You want at these Upstarts that badly? Then I'll tell you what...I'm going to send Nick Patrick down to the ring, and you and Bo can do all the damage you want to each other, because you two are now competing in a FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE MATCH! COLE YO! COACH ...HEY! The crowd roars, and Malibu is caught on camera mouthing "that's fine" to Axel...but while he's still being held by security, Bo breaks through the guards blocking his path, and clobbers Zack with a forearm that sends him through the ropes! Nick Patrick rushes down the aisleway and waves his arm for the bell to sound, and no sooner does Michael Buffer hit it than Bo sends Zack Malibu crashing into the railing! COLE Fans, if you've just tuned in, right at the start of the hour The Upstarts were seen entering the building, only to be met by an irate Zack Malibu, who started brawling with them all...chaos ensued between The Upstarts and The Originals, and just moments ago, new General Manager Axel came out onstage and made a match between Zack Malibu and Bohemoth, which you are seeing right now! COACH Not just ANY match...but a Falls Count Anywhere match! These guys could go up the road to Graceland and brawl! COLE I wonder if our camera team would get any bonus pay for having to run that far after them. Bo rips off his tie and throws it down on the ringside floor, then unbuttons his top shirt button and loosens his collar before approaching Malibu. Zack, who is also not exactly dressed for a match since he's clad in jeans, a button down shirt and a leather jacket, gets yanked to his feet and hurled across ringside again, but this time he leaps up and lands with his feet on the guardrail, then leaps backwards, twisting his body so that he floors Bo with a diving clothesline! Malibu then pops up and gets that wild-eyed look that he's been synonymous with for years, and calls to the fans for one to give him a chair. Many offer, but all he needs is one, and as the big man is rising to his feet... *WHACK!* ...the steel is sent across his back with a hard shot from Malibu! Bo reels, so Malibu fires off another shot, but the big man only drops to one knee! COLE Bohemoth is just taking it, absorbing those chairshots as if they were nothing! Bo fights up to his feet, so Malibu cocks the chair back over his head, and comes out swinging when Bo turns around...but he's met with a kick to the stomach! Bohemoth then swipes the chair from the popular prep and tosses it aside, then takes Zack by the throat and rams him backfirst into the apron before pushing him up onto the edge of the ring and shoving him in under the bottom rope! COLE It's Falls Count Anywhere, yet Bo seems content on pushing Zack back into the ring. COACH Oh don't you worry, Mikey C. It's alllll part of the plan. Zack staggers to his feet, while Bo steps up on the ring apron...however before he enters, Zack leaps up and delivers an enzugiri to the side of the big man's head, knocking him for a loop and sending him off the apron! COLE Malibu managed to get Bo off his trail, but the big man landed on his feet, and...OH MY GOD!!! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Cole's scream into the headset, as well as the loud roar from the fans, are all due to Zack Malibu's tope, which connected with Bohemoth and send both men splattering to the floor! Malibu pushes himself up before Bo can shake off the effects, and immediately mounts the shoulders of his foe and starts peppering him with fists to the forehead, dazing him! He drags Bo to his feet and tugs on his arm, looking to whip him towards the ring, but Bo puts on the brakes...so Zack drops an elbow on his outstretched arm, cracks him across the chest with a chop, and then snaps him back onto the arena floor with a quick Russian Legsweep! Malibu gets up and pauses for a moment, soaking in the crowd response, then starts unfastening his belt! COLE Oh no, don't tell me he's going to do what I THINK he's going to do! COACH That'd just be plain NASTY! Luckily for Bohemoth, Malibu's not into the literal meaning of "eye for an eye", as he didn't plan on doing to Bo what The Upstarts did to the OAOAST banner. Instead, Malibu folds his belt and clutches it in his hands, then starts whipping the hell out of the Upstarts muscle! The powerhouse tries to cover up, but Malibu strikes every open inch, swinging away like a wildman. He pulls Bo up and tears his dress shirt off over his head like they were in a hockey fight, and then starts whipping again, this time on the exposed flesh of Bohemoth! COLE Look at the welts forming on his back! Can you imagine how hard Zack must be hitting him!? COACH I'd rather not. COLE You know Coach, we've seen incidents like this before. When The Underground struck, Zack Malibu rallied the troops and fought them off. When we were in danger of being bought out by the Hollywood crew, Zack helped lead the charge to save the company from being just another brand of entertainment. Now, for the past six months, he's had to deal with these glory hogs, these egomaniacs who just want the spotlight on themselves, tell him that he needs to step aside. COACH We aren't just telling them, we're doing something about it! COLE And it looks like Zack's doing something about it right now! As Bo staggers away from Zack, putting his arms up to try and deflect the BELTSHOTS~!, he makes the mistake of turning his back to Zack, who jumps up on his back! With the belt in hand, Malibu wraps it around the throat of Bo and pulls back, as he's now looking to choke the big man out! COACH He's strangling him! Bo fumbles around, carrying the weight of Zack on his back while simultaneously being robbed of his air supply thanks to the black leather belt wrapped tightly around his neck! Zack leans back, trying to bring the big man to the floor in the choke, but Bo shifts his weight, looking like a human Weeble Wobble who just won't fall down. He FINALLY reaches back and manages to grab Zack by the head, and snapmares the former World Champion over hi shoulder and onto his back, before ultimately collapsing onto all fours himself. COLE Both men are currently strewn about in the aisleway, but this fight is far from over... Malibu gets up and approaches his fallen foe, but Bo bursts forward like a charging bull, wrapping his arms around Zack's waist and driving him all the way back into the ring apron, smashing him against the ring's hard edge! Zack reels from the blow, and then gets struck with a pair of body punches from the brute before getting pushed under the bottom rope and into the ring once again. COLE Axel said this was Falls Count Anywhere, but it seems as though the big man wants to isolate Malibu and keep him in the ring. COACH Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do, as long as you win. Bo doesn't follow his opponent in just yet, choosing to remain at ringside for several moments and regain both his breath and his composure. Before entering the ring, he notices Malibu's belt left in the aisleway, and snatches it for his own use. The big man hops up on the apron and steps through the ropes, wrapping the belt around his fist with the buckle end exposed. He takes Malibu by the shoulder and spins him around, and goes for the fatal blow, but Zack ducks it and hits the ropes, coming off with a clothesline that only staggers Bohemoth! Zack hits the ropes again, and a second clothesline yeilds the same result! Bo staggers a bit but won't fall, so Malibu hits the ropse again, only this time Bo sees it coming and throws up a boot...THAT GETS CAUGHT! Malibu delivers a HARD field goal kick to the nether regions that doubles the big man over in agony, then hits the ropes once again and drills into him with a devestating spear! COLE Zack got him down, and now he'll look for the victory! ONE! TW-NO! Patrick gets to his feet and holds up two fingers, which draws a loud reaction of boos from the fans here in Nashville. Malibu continues to battle his opponent and keep him at bay by ramming the back of his head into the canvas several times before pulling him up to his feet. He takes Bo and sends him to the corner, then follows up with a diving corner splash that sandwiches Bo between Malibu and the turnbuckles! Zack pulls a dazed Bo out of the corner, but at the last second the monster fights back, clocking Zack with the belt wrapped fist and then wrapping it around his neck as he's stunned! COLE God no! Bohemoth is now strangling Zack Malibu! COACH Oh and NOW you don't like it! Zack kicks his legs in the hopes of freeing himself, but Bo pulls back on the belt, angry at Malibu's attempts to choke him earlier. Zack's struggle lessens the more Bo puts pressure on, but it's Bo who lets go by his own will moments later, turning the weakened Zack to face him and then lifting him up into the air, overhead... ...AND TOSSING HIM DOWN TO THE FLOOR WITH A PRESS SLAM! COLE Crash landing to the floor! Zack Malibu has awakened a sleeping giant in The Bohemoth tonight! COACH See, Mikey Cole...Bo's a nice guy. Real mellow...but then Zack had to go and jump The Upstarts in the back, then try to choke him to death! You think he's going to play nice after incidents like that? COLE The man PISSED on the flag bearing this company's logo, what did you THINK the repurcussions would be? COACH Right now, there don't appear to be any! As Zack struggles to regain equilibrium after being dropped unceremoniously down to the concrete, Bo steps out of the ring and moves over to the ring stairs, pulling them from their normal position and then taking them into the aisleway, dropping them several feet from ringside. He then turns his attention back to Zack, who has barely moved since being tossed out of the ring, and retrieves him from ringside, pulling him up to his feet and then off of his feet...then crotches him on the guardrail! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!" Zack winces and tilts over, then is yanked off by Bo, and slumps back to the floor. Bo then grabs the guardrail and uses it to hold onto as he takes his right foot and stomps on Zack's sternum, then blocks Zack's air passage with the heel of his shoe! Malibu is once again dragged to his feet by his larger rival and then drilled with a knee to the ribs before he's pressed up over Bo's head. The big man showcases his power by keeping Zack up high, but then lets him drop, pancake style...FACE FIRST INTO THE RING STAIRS! COLE What a vicious assault! Malibu clutches at his face in pain, and Bo quickly falls on top for the cover, looking to make sure Nick Patrick is close by to administer the count. ONE! TWO! NOOO! COACH Dammit! C'mon Bo, give him s'more! The crowd yells with glee as Malibu rolls a shoulder, but their motivation for Zack only further angers the typically calm big man. He pulls Zack up and simply shoves him backwards into the guardrail, smirking as Zack crashes hard. He then charges in, but Malibu turns to the side at the last second and throws up an elbow, and it catches the big guy square in the jaw! Bo stumbles back, tending to his mouth, and the momentary distraction allows Zack to come and scoop him off his feet and plant him with an inverted atomic drop! COLE Malibu has been manhandled by Bohemoth, but as long as there is air in his body, there will be fight left in him! Zack takes Bo by the head, then hops up and sits on the guardrail before kicking off and swinging himself through the air, taking Bo's head and spiking it on the st...NO! Bo counters by simply throwing Zack off of him, but Malibu instantly fires back on offense, racing towards Bo and jogging up the ring steps before leaping into the air with a spinning wheel kick that knocks the big man down like a lumberjack would take out a tree! COACH YO! COLE ...did you just "yo" something MALIBU did? COACH Force of habit. Stop pointing out my faults! COLE That'd be a REALLY long HeldDOWN, let me tell you. Patrick falls to the floor and counts, as Malibu covers Bo just as soon as he connects with the kick! ONE! TWO! NO! WAIT...The count is broken up by Jamie O'Hara! COLE What's he doing out here? COACH Well Einstein, he's a member of The Upstarts, and... COLE I KNOW why he's out here. COACH Then why did you just ask? The crowd boos loudly as O'Hara kicks at Malibu, then pulls him up and runs him toward the ring, smashing his face on the apron! Zack gets tossed back into the ring again, this time by the rookie star, who then hops up on the apron and springboards in, crashing down onto Zack Malibu with a Springboard Sky Twister Press! COACH Can't no one fly like my man! He makes Lear jets jealous! O'Hara "throws down" and trash talks Zack, who is rolling on the canvas after having the rookie crush his ribcage with that splash. Jamie brings him to his feet and then immediately delivers a dropkick that sends Zack through the ropes, but at the last second Zack grabs the middle rope to keep himself from falling to the floor! COLE It's a damn two on one assault! And how did that punk get past security? COACH We got skills, playa! Seeing Zack on the apron, O'Hara races up the ropes and balances himself there, ready to launch at any moment...however Zack shakes the ropes as much as he can to crotch the young thug! Zack then steps through the ropes but then climbs up the turnbuckles himself, slapping O'Hara across the face hard before pulling him up across his shoulders....AND THEN FLATTENING HIM WITH THE HONOR ROLL~! COLE YEAH ZACK! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" The crowd is electric as Malibu battles back from the two on one odds, having just disposed of O'Hara. Zack gets up and takes off his leather jacket, throwing it aside, as he looks at Bo moving towards the ring...SO HE RACES ACROSS THE CANVAS AND SOARS THROUGH THE AIR, CRASHING DOWN ON THE BIG MAN WITH A SOMERSAULT PLANCHA! The momentum knocks Bo for a loop, but also puts Zack on his feet, and he runs and stands up on the guardrail, pounding his chest and pointing to the fans while those near him clamor for a quick touch! "MAL-AH-BOO" "MAL-AH-BOO" "MAL-AH-BOO" COLE Listen to this crowd! The Nashville Arena is full of life, as Zack Malibu battles for company pride here in what wasn't even scheduled to be our opening match! Malibu goes back over to Bo and yanks him off the ground, but as he's being brought up Bo runs Zack backwards into the ringpost, and the current World Tag Team Champion smacks the back of his head on the steel beam! Zack staggers forward holding his head, right into the waiting arms of Bohemoth, who scoops him up, then swings the body of Malibu outward, as he looks to connect with The Erotic Awakening of B ON THE FLOOR... ...BUT ZACK COUNTERS WITH A DDT IN MID-ATTEMPT AT THE LAST SECOND~! COACH (slamming the desk) DAMMIT! I swear, we could nuke this arena and the only thing left would be cockroaches and Malibu! Zack, still groggy from going headfirst into the post, slowly gets up, but when he does the first thing he does is grabs the steel chair at ringside! Zack takes the chair and then goes over to Bo, whose eyes are barely open, and lets him stand on his own...so that he can blast him with the steel chair! Bo falls to one knee as the blood starts to trickle from his forehead, and his worn state leaves him defenseless to a second chair shot that levels him! Zack throws the chair over the ropes and into the ring, feeling as though he doesn't need it anymore. He then drags the big man to his feet, holding him by the head with one hand and then paintbrushes him with the other, but Bo is too dazed to respond. "You want to f*ck with this company, you son of a bitch? Huh?" Malibu's question goes unanswered, as Bo probably doesn't even know his name at this point. Malibu lets go of him, but before the big man topples over, Malibu strikes one last time with a parting gift... ...SCHOOL'S OUT ON THE BLOODY BOHEMOTH~! COLE Sorry Coach, but you guys aren't exactly starting the year off with a bang! Down at ringside, Malibu covers, and Patrick hits the floor to make the count. ONE! TWO! THREE! DING! DING! DING! Patrick calls for the bell, and Getting Away With Murder hits just as Malibu rises off of Bo. Patrick comes over and raises the hand of the OAOAST's most beloved star, while Zack looks down at his now defeated opponent. Although he's just won a hard fought brawl, Malibu still has a look of disgust on his face, as if he's not completely satisfied with what he's done. COLE For a guy who got thrown into a match on a whim, and had to deal with two Upstart members instead of just one, he doesn't look like he's in a celebrating mood. COACH And he shouldn't be. One battle doesn't win a war, Cole. COLE Well, that's very profound of you to say. COACH Damn skippy, playa! COLE ...OK, but that wasn't. Malibu walks up the aisle to the dressing room, looking around as the fans rant and rave over his victory. Still, though he's won the match, the look on his face proves one thing. That this Civil War has gotten to him, and the concern over what The Upstarts will try next is running deep.

If ever a movie is made on my life, I want this title used.

I don't care either way personally, I just figure it's open for discussion. If you want more "surprise", then we can lessen the mod amount. Or just post less in this folder.

Moore was doing this schtick in WWE before getting the boot. In fact his action figure is in full Prince of Punk regalia. So it's not a new TNA thing, although now he has the chance to utilize the fact he has a character.

According to WON, Homicide hurt his shoulder on a dive where Steve Corino failed to catch him, and then it was worsened when Corino worked on the shoulder during a match/brawl they had. He needs surgery, but doesn't have insurance, and can't afford to take the time off to let it heal. If he opted to get surgery he'd a)lose his paychecks, which he'd need to pay for the operation, and b)lose his spot in TNA, since his job is to be the workhorse of the group.

As my final act before I head out on vay-kay, let me say Happy Birthday to my good buddy Hoff. Hope it's a good one, pal.

Do not speak ill of Los Diablos!

Second Speech: The Usual Suspects Recieve the TV MOTY Award for the TLC match. The crowd roars, and many, if not all (save for The Upstarts, who remain bitter) stand up and applaud the duo of Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez as they walk onstage, where they're presented with the award for winning what was voted the OAOAST's Television Match Of The Year. RODEZ Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww yeah baby! Leon takes the Angle Award and holds it up while pounding his chest, while Zack takes his Angle Award and holds it up high. The tag champs absorb the adulation from their peers (well, most of them), and Leon then hugs his partner, which draws a chuckle from Zack, who has had to get used to Leon's overly affectionate ways at times. Once the crowd dies down it's time to take the mic, and Leon kicks that off for The Suspects. RODEZ Thank you guys, thank you so much for voting for the Tables, Ladders and Chairs match. Thank you for recognizing our efforts that night, which paid off in full since we are the WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, YEEEEEEEAH! Leon backs away and pounds his chest again, then kisses the Angle Award and holds it over his head, while Malibu takes over on speech duty. MALIBU Like Leon said, we're very humbled by this, but not only was this a brutal match featuring eight of the best competitors, it was also the first time Leon and I competed as a tag team, and here we are months later still holding the gold, and now being recognized by the company as two men responsible for putting on a classic contest. Still, despite the friction between people involved in that contest, right now I want to say that you people...Tony, Dan Black, The SK8R BOIZ and the GPX, you were a part of history with us, and you should applaud yourselves for that. Everyone, give THEM a hand, because they were a part of the formula that night, they put in one hundred and ten percent, and THEY helped make that match just as memorable as our victory did. Give it up for them, right now! Malibu and Leon start clapping, and rally the crowd to applaud their fellow Originals, the new and improved Sk8r Boiz, and even the hated Global Party Exchange. All except the GPX thank Zack and give their props right back to the tag champs, who come off the stage and shake the hands of their opponents from that fateful night. When they approach the Upstarts table the GPX rises, but no hands are shook, as instead Jax knocks Leon's hand away, and Static spits in Zack's face! The Suspects break into action, but security is on the scene quicker than a papparazzi on a Lindsay Lohan nipple slip, and the sides are seperated before things break down into a ruckus that could damper the rest of the evening.

First up, Best Heel Speech for the GPX! The room fills with boos, except for the small Upstart contingent who are all seated together. Jamie O'Hara gets waaaaaaaay too into it, busting out the old Arsenio Hall "whoop whoop whoop" arm motion until Christian Wright calms him down. Scotty and Johnny take the stage and make the "quiet" motion to the crowd, and then begin their acceptance speech. JAX *AHEM*...coughcough...hnnnnnnnnt... STATIC Well, while my partner graphically chooses to clear his throat, allow me to thank you all for this award. Although, I'm not sure how one, or in this case, two, can qualify for best heel...I mean, isn't that just subject to opinion? It's only fitting that the OAOAST gives us this award, seeing as how in THEIR eyes we're heels, but to our fellow Upstarts and to all those people who have felt held back from achieving the greatness they are destined for, we're role models. Heroes. Saviors. We have begun a revolution that the wrestling world will not soon recover from, and surely not the OAOAST! JAX We would like to thank the OAOAST for actually recognizing us for something...we know it must have been a bitter pill to swallow, but this is just more proof that the Global Party Exchange can and will not be denied their rightful place in the history books. We'd also like to give props to the people like Christian Wright, Jamie O'Hara, Bohemoth, and everyone else who supports the Upstart cause, because as the numbers grow so does the sound of our voices. WE WILL BE HEARD! WE WILL NOT GO DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT! POWER TO THE PEOPLE! I HAVE A DREAM! Jax loses his breath shouting out to the crowd, whose mood has gone from attentive to confused. Static just shakes his head and blocks Johnny from getting back to the mic, telling him that he'll handle it. STATIC 2005 was just the beginning, people. 2006 is the year of the Upstarts. You can believe that. As the days of '05 run out...so does the Originals luck. Static then grabs the Angle Award and walks offstage, throwing up the deuce for his Upstart partners. Jax looks to make sure his partner is offstage and then returns to the mic, but is ushered away by security. JAX All right, all right, I'm going! Jax gets thrown off stage by security, which infuriates the superstar. He removes his blazer and tries running back onstage, but Static hooks his partner in a waistlock and pulls him back to the Upstarts table before a brawl breaks out.

Suddenly, as Triple C are verbally battling one another, the screen goes snowy. Static fills the screen, but not Scotty Static...until the actual static fades and the face of the Upstarts resident spokesman is seen in the clear. STATIC Testing...testing...are we on? A voice off-camera asks "is the red light on?" STATIC Uh, yeah. Off camera, Jamie O'Hara is heard shouting "We in the red light dissstriiiict!". The camera pans over to him, and catches Christian Wright slugging him in the shoulder. WRIGHT Way to give us away, Feminem. O'HARA You steppin' to me son? Just 'cuz you use hundred dolla words don't mean your fists are money too! O'Hara goes ghetto and is about to throw down, when Bohemoth, wearing sunglasses despite the fact it appears to be about 7pm EST and pitch black outside, lowers them, intimidating the young thug to back down. STATIC Easy you two. Johnny J., you got that camera ready for this? JAX Let's do it. Jax's camera work is shaky, as he follows behind the group of Static, O'Hara, Wright and the big man, Bohemoth. All of a sudden, Static breaks into a voiceover as he leads the group through an empty parking lot and towards a tall office building that appears to be closed for the holidays. STATIC Gentlemen, welcome to the first ever tour of the OAOAST Home Offices, provided kindly to you by the Global Party Exchange on behalf of The Upstarts. Due to a scheduling conflict, no one will be in the offices during the tour, so you will not get to see those asses that have been smeared with the lip prints of The Originals for the past three years. However, you will find such important information as home addresses for your Christmas card needs... JAX Scotty...it's the 27th, dude. STATIC Do you only send out Christmas cards one year and then stop? JAX Well, no. STATIC Exactly! Get a jump on things! O'HARA Yo man, I'm chillin', and I don't mean chillin'...can we get in here and get our heat on or whizz-at? JAX Damn Jamie, Scotty and I had to play the role of slang spewin' party boys for years and I still have no idea what the hell you just said. BOHEMOTH Inside. With that one word uttered, Bo readies to use himself as a human battering ram and charge through the door, until Scotty jumps in his way. STATIC Whoooooa big man, hold up. I just happen to have the key to the problem! WRIGHT What if they've taken the proper measures for security, Scotty? STATIC Dude, would YOU be afraid of Charlie Hoss? Static reaches into his pocket and pulls out...a key! (c'mon, what did you THINK he was going to pull out?) (PS: Anyone who took that in the perverted sense needs to stop. Now. kthxbye. We now return to the segment.) A chuckle breaks out from each individual in the group at the mention of the OAOAST's former Head of Security for HeldDOWN~!. After fumbling for a minute, Static gets the door open! The Upstarts enter the home office, but the victory is short-lived, as the alarm to the building sounds as soon as the door shuts behind them! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WRIGHT Jesus, that's more annoying than a COD interview! Did you get the alarm code? Static looks at Wright, puzzled. WRIGHT Aw, fu... STATIC Haha, gotcha! Of course I got the code! Wright just rolls his eyes as Static makes his way to the codekey and punches in the numerical sequence that stops the annoying alarm. STATIC All right gentlemen, we are in business! The Upstarts scatter, each of them moving into different rooms and through different hallways. Johnny Jax can't keep up with everyone, so he chooses to tag along with Wright and Bo first. WRIGHT Well looky here, Bo. Looks like we found ourselves in the home of a cowboy! JAX Look what else we found...check out this note on his desk! Wright comes over to the desk and picks up the paper, holding it up VERY close to the camera lens, then pulling back and reading it. WRIGHT Call Agnes...fax contractual options...dear Lord this company must be desperate if they're offering Agnes a contract again. Actually...let's see... Wright picks up the paper and tears it in two, then in fours, and eventually just makes it into confetti and throws it in the air. JAX It's a celebration, bitches! WRIGHT Well yessir indeedy, that's how we do it here on the ranch, like that fellow John Wayne did to them redskins back in the day! Bo snickers at Wright's attempt at Southern twang as he moves around the office of Bill Watts, who has been positioned as a figurehead of sorts for the company by the corporate office. Wright starts opening every drawer in sight, when suddenly the phone rings, and he freezes. Bo just looks down at the phone, and neither seem to know what to do. JAX Should we get that? Wright inches towards the desk, and then quickly grabs the phone before he rethinks it too much. WRIGHT OAOAST Corporate, how may I direct your call? REALLY!? Well, I'll be damned. What can I do for...no, no I'm sorry we can't. No...no seriously, we can't . There's not any space on the roster for you. No, we're still having trouble getting the dead weight off of ours...I'm sure you know what that's like! Yes but...look, no, no we're not interested. I said NO! Have you taken too many guitars to the head? Look, I don't give a damn if that's how you roll! Wright's face is red with anger, while Jax laughs, causing the camera to shake. Before Wright can snap completely, Bo takes the phone from him and just hangs it up, then nonchalantly exits the room. JAX Christian, you have fun, I'm gonna go see what the others are up to. Jax turns and goes down a hall, then stops dead in his tracks and focuses in on a large framed photograph at the end of the hallway. JAX Guys, check this out! Jamie O'Hara is the first on the scene, peeking his head out of an office door and then coming into the hall, stuffing something into his pocket. JAX What'd you get? O'HARA Pens. JAX What the hell do you need pens for? O'HARA Who said I needed them? If it's free, it's fo' me! JAX Whatever man, but look at that. Guys, check it! The sounds of the rest of the Upstarts coming together in the hall can be heard, as Jax plays with the zoom lens, closing in (and then pulling back, and then closing in again) on a framed photograph of an OAOAST legend... ...FRANK STALLONE~! STATIC Dear God, that'd give me nightmares if I had to look at that every...Jamie, what the hell are you doing? O'Hara moves towards the photo and takes it by the sides, sliding it off the wall. O'HARA I might be able to get a few Benjamins fo' this on Ebay! STATIC That's Frank Stallone, Jamie. If you ship that to someone, they'd probably hunt you down and stab you to death with a salad fork. O'HARA Fuck it, I'm takin' it. WRIGHT Fuck it. Ah, what an eloquent young man. O'HARA You know, I don't know the meaning of that word, so I'm gonna take it as disrespect. Watch yo' mouth, cousin. WRIGHT I can assure you wholeheartedly that we are of no relation. O'HARA Yeah, cuz yo' mama didn't have sex! WRIGHT What!? O'HARA You know! Wright mumbles something incoherent as the group continues through the offices. Static starts flipping through a pile of papers during the walk, making sounds of disgust as he does. JAX Whatcha got their, partner. STATIC Just a few copies of contracts. Do you know Caboose gets more money to sit on his ass on that damn sofa than we do combined? JAX No shit? And they say we don't have good reasoning to do what we do. STATIC Damn straight, Johnny Jam. Let's see, who else do we have in this pile. Tony...screw him. Sooner Bruisers...NRG...what the? Who the hell is Max Zorin? A collective "Who" emerges from the mouths of all the Upstarts. STATIC Says he was in The Boogie Knights with a guy named Kotzenjunge? Another collective "Who" comes from everyone. STATIC Eh, if we ain't heard of 'em, they're nobodies. JAX Boogie Knights? Sounds like a second rate GPX to me. STATIC HA! Get this...apparently Bohemoth's real name is Walter! Everyone freezes, and the big man turns and lowers his glasses, glaring at Static, who takes a big gulp. STATIC J..just, uh, kidding man. Everyone keeps walking, but you can hear Static nudge cameraman Jax and whisper "not really" as they continue ransacking the place. The "tour" continues, and the Upstarts come to a door that leads them into a large storage wharehouse portion of the building. Again they scatter, picking items off the shelves and surveying them, although O'Hara does it slowly as he has to make sure not to drop the framed photo of Frank Stallone. STATIC Look at this stuff...ha! Check it out Johnny, our first action figures! Kids, bug your parents to get these, they're definite collectors items! JAX Dude I hate the way they made my face. Real scan technology my ass. I look like I'm taking a shit. STATIC What'd you guys find? Jax twirls around and zooms in on Wright, who is displaying a T-shirt for the camera. WRIGHT Check it out...Northstar T-shirts! These things are still in production? JAX No, I just don't think they sold any. WRIGHT HAHA, excellent point J... "AAAAATCHOOOOO!" WRIGHT Ugh, dammit Bo, cover your mouth. I just bathed myself in your flem and mucus. Here. Wright tosses Bo the Northstar shirt, and he proceeds to blow his nose on it, then folds it up nicely and sticks it back on the shelf. BOHEMOTH Good as new. Bo and Wright continue surveying the shelves of shirts, looking to see what other treasures they find. Meanwhile a little further down, Jamie O'Hara goes klepto, shoving DVD's into his pants, and throwing a GPX logo hat on, tilting it to the side for full ghetto effect. WRIGHT I'd hate to think of how many Damaramu shirts are left. STATIC That's easy...none. WRIGHT You serious? STATIC They never bothered to produce them. One of the few smart things this friggin' company has managed. Talk about a money loser. All of a sudden, the door swings open, and the Upstarts all turn, fearful that they're about to be busted by... ...the maintenance man. Wearing a brown derby hat that covers his eyes, and a red and green striped sweater, the janitor starts tending to the floor, as if he doesn't even notice The Upstarts in the room. O'HARA Yo, uh...'scuse me? But we're kinda busy in here. Suddenly, the janitor starts laughing. First it's soft, but as the laughter grows, so does the sound level. Hahahahaha...hahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! O'Hara steps back, eyes widened, as the other Upstarts just shrug when he looks to them. JANITOR HAHAHAHA...BOO! BOO! I'M THE BOOGEYMAN, AND I'M COMIN' TO GETCHA! O'Hara just stands there with his eyebrows raised, pens in his pockets, DVD's in his underwear, and a Frank Stallone photo in his arms. O'HARA No you're not, you're the janitor. JANITOR I, uh... STATIC Wait, he's not just the janitor, he's Mario Logan! Look! Scotty Static pulls the hat off of the janitor to reveal the OAOAST's longtime horror freak, and leader of the Dungeon of Doom. LOGAN So, you guys were wondering what happened to me, huh? Static puts an arm around the Freddy fan, and walks with him, as Jax captures the moment. STATIC Actually Mario, I don't think anyone gives a damn. JAX HEY! Wait, Scotty...you know Logan was one of the ORIGINAL OAOASTers! STATIC HE WAS!? Oh well in that case then... Static pulls away from Logan, and delivers a back mule kick to the nuts! Logan cowers, and then Wright picks up the mop bucket and dumps it over his head, sending dirty mop water spilling all over the place before Big Bo delivers a running big boot to the bucket covered head of the freakshow superstar! The Upstarts stand over Logan, and O'Hara reaches down and picks up the hat, then puts it on his head over the GPX logo hat, as all the Upstarts just stare at him. O'HARA What!? WRIGHT Hey, check it out! Wright calls to his allies, pointing out a large trophy case, displaying historical OAOAST Title Belts! WRIGHT Are you pondering what I'm pondering? STATIC OK, you just sounded like the guy from Animaniacs, and that scares me. I think I know how we can get this open... Before even asking, Bohemoth backs up, then runs forward and drives his boot through the glass, sending shrapnel into the air and the Upstarts ducking for cover! O'HARA Yo, watch yo'self homey! STATIC DAMN IT! Bo, why did you do that? BOHEMOTH You said you knew how to get it open. STATIC Yes, maybe with THIS!? Static reaches into his pocket and reveals another key, which Bohemoth simply shrugs off. STATIC All right let's see what we got...one for you, one for you, one for... O'HARA Yo playa, what the hell is an F13 Champion? JAX I think Crystal was given that belt after taking on that many guys in the locker room at once. O'HARA Snap, Crackle, Pop, playa! As Bohemoth looks down at the OAOAST HardKore Championship that has been handed to him, he questions stealing the belts. BOHEMOTH Are you sure this is a good idea? Static, who is too busy fastening the OAOAST Adrenalin Championship around his waist, is quick to retort. STATIC Dude, they have like what, EIGHT belts on the show right now? They probably won't even notice! The Upstarts drape themselves in championship gold, stealing all the retired championships from the case. O'Hara is the last one to the case, left with the OAOAST European Championship, which he quickly fastens around...his neck? O'HARA Bling bling, playa! I'm ballin' now! Static looks at the belt he's got in his hand, the OAOAST North American championship, and tosses it to Jamie. STATIC You can have this one, you need something to keep those pants up. O'HARA Hater. WRIGHT Well, what have we here? Christian Wright makes another discovery, this time finding a rolled up banner. They tear the ropes that have fastened it together apart, and unravel it to reveal... ...THE OAOAST LOGO BANNER! STATIC Christian, Bo, Jamie...grab this. I've got an idea. Bring that with us. Johnny, keep that camera rolling, this is gonna be goooooooooooooooooood. JAX Whatever it is, make it quick, I got a flashing battery light here, brah. STATIC Nah, this shouldn't take long. Here, back to the parking lot. Static opens one of the side doors, and the group exits the structure, walking back outside into the chilled winter air. They walk towards one of the lights in the lot, and unravel the banner under it, laying it on the pavement. WRIGHT So, what act of tyranny do you have planned for this fabric? Static comes over and huddles up with the Upstarts, and Wright is quick to pull away. WRIGHT That's vile, that's downright reprehensible. I LOVE it. STATIC Let's get to it then. Johnny, you might not wanna zoom in on this though. JAX What the he...WHY ARE YOU GUYS DROPPING YOUR PANTS? The Upstarts, with their backs to the camera, fiddle with their zippers and reveal more of themselves than was ever needed to be seen on an OAOAST show, though thankfully they have their backs turned, so it's left to the imagination. Moments later, a soft sound, similar to a buzzing noise is heard. The Upstarts are PISSING ON THE OAOAST BANNER! JAX Hahahaha, this is so aces. They're gonna haaaaaaaaaaaaate usssssssssss! Wright, Static, and O'Hara finish, but Bohemoth is still going strong. O'HARA Damn, big man, what'd you do, drink two Big Gulps and break the seal today? STATIC Hey, a big guy like that just has some extra storage space. O'HARA YOU LOOKED? You queer! STATIC I didn't look! And who are you calling a queer...you're parading around with a picture of Frank Stallone under your arm! O'HARA I told you, it's not for me! STATIC Oh whatev...wait...you hear that? The Upstarts stop dead in their tracks, and the faint sounds of sirens can be heard in the distance. WRIGHT That bastard Logan must have called the authorities on us! O'HARA Then let's get to steppin', kid! C'mon! The Upstarts all make a break for it, running to their SUV parked across the parking lot...except for Bo, who's still letting the yellow juice loose! Static gets behind the wheel of the vehicle, with Jax taking shotty and the others piling into the back, and they peel out, driving rapidly through the parking lot before Scotty slams on the brakes besides Bo. Jax, who still has the camera out, zooms in on Bo's face, because the wide shot is not exactly family friendly viewing. JAX Dude, are you done or what? BOHEMOTH Yeah yeah, hang on. Bo zips up and calmly gets into the vehicle, and Static throws it back into drive and speeds off before they get caught red-handed, while Jax closes in on the piss-stained logo of the company as they veer off, the sight of police cars filling the OAOAST Home Office parking lot the last thing we see before the battery in the camera dies.

If some of you who left feedback notice something missing, it's because a certain segment you commented on was not supposed to be shown on HD, but rather the NYE special. It wasn't even in complete form, but it'll be on and in full on the NYE show.

Fuckin' A, this is for the NEW YEARS EVE SHOW! GAH! I removed it from HD...it's not even a finished segment yet!