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RavishingRickRudo

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Everything posted by RavishingRickRudo

  1. RavishingRickRudo

    Can anyone confirm this rumor?

    They can't use the scratch logo. They can use the logos before it. They are currently appealing the ruling.
  2. RavishingRickRudo

    Keith be damned

    Shamrock should be in the HOF, but I'd say more because of his influence in training and the Lions Den than as a fighter. With that said... NAIMARK EXAMINES KEN SHAMROCK (by Mike Naimark) This issue’s theme isn’t one that lends itself well to the intense world of MMA competition. Without pre-determined results contingent on the good will of a booker, the ambitious MMA competitor has little incentive to offer a willing orifice to a promoter in hopes of getting a push in any but the most literal sense. And yet, the world of MMA is a business, and just like any business, the ladder to advancement is rife with clandestine opportunities to skip a rung or two at the expense of your less-cutthroat colleagues. And I can’t think of anybody in the world of MMA who has a greater perception of achievement with less actual, uh, ACHEIVEMENT, then the subject of today’s review. Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present to you a man whose gaudy career turns utterly pedestrian under the harsh lights of scrutiny, and man who was given favorable treatment from promoters for reasons other than what he had accomplished once the bell rang. Weighing in at 230lbs of solid muscle wrapped around a creamy center of bullshit, the Buff Bagwell of MMA, KEN SHAMROCK! Ken Shamrock actually started out in the world of professional wrestling before becoming a star in the Japanese Pancrase MMA promotion in 1993. Pancrase is a more grappling-oriented style of fighting which places numerous restrictions of striking, resulting in many fights resembling a girly slap-attack until both men tumble to the ground and each grab a leg, rolling like they were aflame in a desperate attempt to sink in an ankle pick or kneebar. Yep, that’s Pancrase in a nutshell for ya. As forgettable as his pro-graps career was in these early days, Shamrock soon became a major celebrity in Japan for his fighting prowess and brawny gaijin looks. Entering the first UFC in November of ’93, Shamrock was considered a favorite by many observers because of his success in Japan, not to mention that intangible factor – he LOOKED like a fighter, with bulging muscles and a gnarled nose, while much of the rest of the field looked like taxi drivers, plumbers, and Arena Football dropouts. One fighter decided to wear a single boxing glove for his match, and only looked like an idiot. Let’s take a look at Ken Shamrock’s dynamic debut in the UFC, and the glory that followed: 1st Match – Ken Shamrock vs. Pat Smith: Shamrock totally outclasses the befuddled Smith, tapping him out with an ankle pick in about a minute and a half. Pat Smith would go on to fight in Japan and Brazil in addition to another couple of tours with the UFC, and his current career record stands at 8 wins, 8 losses. 2nd Match – Ken Shamrock vs. Royce Gracie – Royce was probably the least-intimidating looking fighter in the field that night, a svelte 170lbs of swarthy Brazilian manhood looking like he’d be more at home teaching tango lessons than trying to make grown men scream in pain. It takes Royce a mere 57 seconds to make Shamrock tap-out to a choke. Shamrock begins his long tradition of making excuses after his poor showings, explaining, “I’m not used to this kind of stuff”, presumably meaning real fights. Royce’s career record currently stands at 12-2-1. Having underwhelmed the martial arts world with his unimpressive showing, Shamrock returned to the ‘kind of stuff’ he presumably DID know, Pancrase in Japan, and racked up a mediocre 5-3 record in Pancrase before returning for UFC3. Was Ken ready to dominate? 1st Match – Ken Shamrock vs. Christophe Lenninger – Lenninger’s background is in judo, and he wears a fabulous blue gi which matches his dreamy eyes. One problem many traditional judokas had in MMA was that their tournament experience tended to make them rely on throws which were more effective against clothed opponents. Against Shamrock’s slippery carcass, Lenninger can’t initiate any offense and takes a beating before taping out. Lenninger’s career MMA record stands at 0-4. 2nd Match – Ken Shamrock vs. Felix Lee Mitchell – I remember someone commenting that Felix Lee Mitchell sounded like the name of a hired killer. Mitchell was a prison guard from Memphis, a city noted for having among the most violent prisons in the country. But without his nightstick, Mitchell is overwhelmed by Shamrock and taps out to a choke in short order. Mitchell fights once more and loses again before returning to ELV-OZ and his side job dealing tits. 0-2, skidoo. So Shamrock should have been headed to the finals after winning against two fighters who had never won a fight in their entire careers, but no, Shamrock displays another of his questionable qualities – in the span of these two short, one-sided fights, he appears to have hurt his hand, and withdraws. Royce Gracie, in the other bracket, also withdraws after his thrilling fight against Kimo, and we end up with the worst finals in the history of the UFC, Harold Howard v Steve Jennum. So it’s back to Pancrase for The Sham, and a string of victories before returning at UFC5 for a ‘Superfight’ against Royce Gracie. Gracie, of course, was an undefeated 3-time UFC champion and considered to be a legend. Shamrock, uh, well, he looked good in a Speedo and was tapped out by Royce in under a minute. Former UFC executive Bob Meyerowitz later confessed to having placed Shamrock in such a prestigious position within the promotion based largely on his ‘look’, and Shamrock didn’t disappoint in that department, subsisting on steamed fish, tweezing his eyebrows to arched perfection, and doing thousands of crunches in preparation for his….. SUPERFIGHT – Ken Shamrock vs. Royce Gracie – In an embarrassing show of timidity, Shamrock spent the entire fight in Royce Gracie’s guard, offering no real offense and essentially maintaining position without ever attempting any techniques which might lead to victory (or, more likely, to defeat). The match goes the time-limit; Shamrock lands a single punch in the overtime before the fight ends and is ruled a draw. Outweighing his opponent by nearly 50lbs, one might think Shamrock would show some deference and humility to the undefeated Brazilian jiu-jitsu wizard who had won 3 UFC titles since he tapped Shamrock out in their last fight. But no, that just wouldn’t be Shammy’s style, would it? “I wanted Royce Gracie to try everything he knew to try and beat me, and he tried different leg chokes and different armbars, but I had worked on this. And it was a test for Royce Gracie to try and beat Ken Shamrock and I'm gonna put him through a beatin'. His monkey ass has never seen anything like this, a beatin' like this.” And here we see another facet to Shamrock’s disingenuous pattern of self-promotion paired with self-deception – by not losing to Royce Gracie in quick and decisive fashion this time, Shamrock essentially claims victory. By refusing to initiate any offense from the guard, he can claim to have instead deftly foiled Royce’s offense from the guard! Shamrock sinks even deeper into his pit of classlessness: “"I stuck him with the right hand. And as you see when he hits the ground, he's done. Right at that point and time, Royce Gracie's life will never be the same. That punch has destroyed Royce Gracie's warrior mentality. Look at his eyes, Royce Gracie is done. Royce Gracie will never be the warrior that he used to be. Royce Gracie will never, ever be the same because of that punch” Some years later, Royce Gracie will have a fight in Japan against Kazushi Sakuraba which will raise the bar for MMA endurance and technique to levels previous thought unreachable. Ken Shamrock competes on that same card, which I will discuss below. And Ken’s empty self-promotion pays off for him in the UFC. With the UFC promoters adding judges and time limits to their fights, Royce bows out, still undefeated and in possession of three tournament victories. By virtue of only losing to Royce Gracie once in two fights, Ken Shamrock and his chiseled abs are promoted to Superfight status for UFC6, despite having never even fought in a UFC finals, much less won a tournament. His opponent will be Dan Severn, who lost to Royce in UFC4 before winning the tournament at UFC5. Ken Shamrock vs. Dan Severn – Shamrock’s finest moment in the UFC, as he catches Severn on a shoot and chokes him out with the guillotine. Severn’s career record is an impressive 27-5-3, and I note this for one reason only: this is the ONLY win Ken Shamrock ever records over an opponent with a winning record outside of Pancrase. Shamrock shows his traditional level of class when interviewed on the fight: “So he won a few tournaments. Big Deal. I’m the submission specialist, I’m the striker, I have all the arsenal." For UFC7, Shamrock is again matched up with a more accomplished UFC tournament winner, this time Oleg Taktarov, the Russian sambo master who took the UFC6 championship with a choke-out of Tank Abbott. Ken Shamrock vs. Oleg Taktarov – In another listless display of non-technique, Shamrock again sits in the guard for the entire fight and offers no sort of offense, which might lead to either a win or a defensive counter-attack. The fight goes the time-limit and is ruled a draw. Oleg’s career record stood at 8-5-2 when he retired last year. Shamrock was invited to the Ultimate Ultimate 1995, the UFC’s tournament of champions, but was injured and unable to compete. At UFC8, he was again asked to defend the title he had never won, that of ‘Superfight’ champion, against the winless Kimo Leopaldo, best known for his thrilling loss to Royce Gracie in UFC3. Ken Shamrock vs. Kimo – Joe Son was noticeable by his absence, and my disappointment was equally noticeable. Shamrock eats a right hand from Kimo, which nearly swells his eye shut before sinking a kneebar and forcing the big Hawaiian to tap-out. Shamrock quickly seizes on his win over Kimo to ‘prove’ his superiority to Royce Gracie again: “Kimo basically beat the monkey crap out of him. Royce Gracie was lucky that Kimo had a ponytail…" Kimo’s career record stands at 3-3-1, but is notable for being the only man with wins over both Bam Bam Bigelow AND Paul Varelans. At UFC9, Shamrock had a rematch with Dan Severn, and the two of them engaged in what I consider to be the unquestionably WORST fight EVER, a plodding affair where both men circled, hands held high, for 20 minutes. Although neither man deserved to win, Severn took the decision, an appropriate end of Shamrock’s ‘Superfight’ status, which he himself had never won in the first place. Shamrock managed to stay healthy long enough to arrive at Ultimate Ultimate ’96 and score a quick win over Brian Johnson (record 4-5) before withdrawing once again with a hand injury. At some point in the evening, Shamrock has an encounter with Tank Abbott, and Shamrock makes a public challenge to Tank on the air. Shamrock then quickly signs a contract with the World Wrestling Federation, and the fight never happens. The UFC puts together a Ken Shamrock tribute PPV in honor of his zero UFC tournament wins, but refuses to pay for UFC7 champ Marco Ruas to bring his wife and two trainers to America for a fight. After a year of pro-graps and being booked towards a stupefying incest angle compliments of Vince Russo, Shamrock leaves pro-wrestling for the PRIDE promotion in Japan. On the same fight card where Royce Gracie, drained of warrior spirit by Shamrock’s mighty right hand, goes a full 90 minutes against Kazushi Sakuraba in an already legendary encounter, Ken Shamrock defeats BattleArts wrestler Alexander Otsuka (career record 2-7) by TKO. Shamrock returned at PRIDE10 and faces Kazuyuki Fujita, a powerful freestyle wrestler who held a win over Mark Kerr. In what I consider to be a supreme irony, Ken Shamrock, the man who won more by doing less than anybody in MMA, throws everything he has against the rock-hard noggin of Fujita – techniques Shamrock had never displayed outside of the protected confines of Pancrase. Powerful punches, quick snapping combinations, even a few high kicks! But Fujita absorbs everything Shamrock threw at him and kept moving forward. Shamrock eventually turns to his corner and begs them to throw in the towel at about 7 minutes into the fight, and they do so. Shamrock, his face drained of color, would briefly lose consciousness in the locker room before returning to his hotel. So here are a few points I want to make about Ken Shamrock: Shamrock’s non-Pancrase MMA record is a solid 7-2-3 (counting the UFC9 debacle with Severn as a draw, which I always do). But this record is highly deceptive. Against opponents with winning records, Shamrock manages a lousy 1-2-3. Against all others, Shamrock fattens his record at the expense of what boxing old-timers referred to lovingly as ‘tomato cans’: 6-0 against opponents with a combined career record of 17-34-4. Shamrock entered three UFC tournaments and didn’t win a single one, but was rewarded with ‘Superfight’ status and his own PPV. Now of course, maybe I’m just picking on ‘The Sham’ because of my generally misanthropic nature; let’s see what his fellow fighters have to say: ROYCE GRACIE: (On his UFC5 Superfight with Shamrock) “No he was just holding onto it, he came in for a draw. HE KNOWS HE CANNOT BEAT ME. He came in for a draw. He knew he just didn't want to lose, that's why he requested the time limit. He knew he just wanted to have a draw, for him that's a victory.” (On Shamrock & Kimo’s physiques): “It's not steroids, it's called performance enhancers (laughing). They just drink milk-they're big boys!” DON FRYE (UFC8 & UUFC’96 champ): “Then at the UFC in Iowa [shamrock] and Mikey Burnett got up there and started talking a bunch of trash about Dan Gable. You know, neither one of those guys was a collegiate wrestler and they have no right to say some of those things about Dan Gable. I don’t know if they’re pulling some WWF angle and just wanted to stir up some heat. That was just unprofessional and asinine of those guys.” “ I think [shamrock] is full of shit and he has been lying to the fans for four years. Hell, he can’t even finish a tournament” TANK ABBOTT: "He's aptly named, SHAMrock. He's a fake, he's a fraud, he's a sham…Well let's put it this way, he had two opportunities to fight me and he pulled out both times, so you go figure out what's going on. I never pull out of a fight. " DAN SEVERN (UFC5 & UUFC’95 champ): “Do I care for his attitude? No. One of us has accomplished it on his own ability. The other has not." And there you have it! Ken Shamrock’s legacy in the fight world is one of half-truths and excuses being overlooked by promotional entities enamored of his physique and self-promotion. While he may not have ever had another man’s genitals in his mouth (not that there’s anything wrong with that – sometimes you just need a ride home), Ken Shamrock nonetheless has had a career that would do any of Bert Prentice’s buttery love-muffins proud! Ken Shamrock, we salute you with the First Annual DVDVR ‘Balls Across the Nose’ Award for MMA Fraudulence! I’m sure you couldn’t be more proud. http://www.deathvalleydriver.com/dvdvr/dvdvr130.html
  3. RavishingRickRudo

    You can't See Me.

    RRR: Held down by the man.
  4. RavishingRickRudo

    You can't See Me.

    Does "White" mean "WASP"-white, or like any-kind-of-white. Some Japanese are "white" skinned, but aren't "White". Some "white" people are more tanned than white. Where do places like Brazil and Spain fall? ... in other news, this is all very stupid.
  5. RavishingRickRudo

    Minor WWE News From The Torch

    That's the spirit, Sakura.
  6. RavishingRickRudo

    Who is smark-proof?

    Wrestlers can be similar (lord knows the OVW guys seem to mass produced) but they aren't the same. There are differences. Matt Morgan and Batista, for example. They both do the sit-out powerbomb, they both are big. I like Batista more than Morgan, though. Batista has a nice clothesline, the way he pops up from the spinebuster is cool, and the indifference he shows in his entrance rules. Little things. Smarks tend to pick on those the most.
  7. RavishingRickRudo

    Who is smark-proof?

    Nah, there's always something different. If two guys look similar (same hair, same body, same tights) they probably have different promos, or throw different punches, or work the crowd differently.
  8. RavishingRickRudo

    You can't See Me.

    Oh Anglesault, that's such a white thing to say.
  9. RavishingRickRudo

    Who is smark-proof?

    Elaborate.
  10. RavishingRickRudo

    Who is smark-proof?

    I looooooooved Monsoon. \!\Fuck all yall hataz/!/ Quite frankly, no one is smark proof. Even if a wrestler was perfect, there would still be some people saying that he was "too perfect". People have different tastes, people like and dislike different things, and every wrestler is different.
  11. RavishingRickRudo

    Minor WWE News From The Torch

    Forget YOU. Canadians are people too ya know? And people deserve to watch the UFC!
  12. RavishingRickRudo

    Goldust Not Getting Renewed Contract

    I liked Goldust right up to about his RR match with Razor. That was such a cool feud with Goldust playing to Razors homophobia - some really cool psychology. I enjoyed that. I thought that Marlena was a man in drag the first time I saw her. I liked the vignettes leading up to his arrival, cause it was just really different and I dig movies. But pretty much well everything after was crap (cept for Bookdust, which ruled). The tortured dustin was soooo bad, and the controversial goldust was annoying. One of my favourite angles involved Dusty and Dustin on SNME where Dibiase and Virgil beat up Dustin -drew colour- and Dusty came down and sacrificed his body to protect his son. They haven't really done an angle like that since. And I was a big fan of Dustin and Barry in WCW - they were a neat lil tag team. Nothin too flashy, just got the job done. If this isn't a drug thing (which it probably is), the WWE is stupid in getting rid of him. They don't do as many "comedy" matches as they should. They have guys like the Hurricane, Rosie, La Rez, Spike, etc. which they could really have fun with but don't.
  13. RavishingRickRudo

    WWE Smackdown

    Is there a Benoit interview in it?? Or was that the last magazine?
  14. RavishingRickRudo

    Minor WWE News From The Torch

    - MMA insider Scott Christ says that UFC is "closer than most people would probably admit" to getting a weekly cable deal. Talks with UFC and Spike TV heated up enough that Spike suits went to Vince to get his approval, and Vince was like "sure". But Fox Sports Net is also mentioned as a possible home. Today I saw BINGO on TV. B I N G O. I just sat there and thought to myself "There is something truly fucked up with Bingo being on TV but MMA is not." Spike TV would be the perfect spot for the UFC - moreso than Fox SN cause I don't get FSN.
  15. RavishingRickRudo

    Anybody tape Pride: Final Conflict?

    They are airing it all month long on Viewers Choice PPV up here - but that might be for digital cable only.
  16. RavishingRickRudo

    WrestleMania XX's main event

    Why would they give Flair a legends ceremony? He's only been in 2 WM's.
  17. RavishingRickRudo

    HHH likes it Old School

    I wouldn't say Jealous cause he had to get married to Steph in order to do it - but let's just say, if someone offered me full control over the video library I wouldn't say no
  18. RavishingRickRudo

    Going to see UFC 45 live!

    Lawler and Hughes are on the same team. The best bet would be Pete Spratt vs. Hughes, Hallman vs. Hughes, and George St. Pierre (if he beats Spratt on the 29th). For the second time this year I was perfect with my predictions I can't wait to hear what Army has to say about the show.
  19. RavishingRickRudo

    HHH likes it Old School

    I figured it was more a jab at Jericho My HHHate grows... lucky bastard...
  20. RavishingRickRudo

    Anybody tape Pride: Final Conflict?

    Sorry bro, tis the season for long shipping. But I can help... I suggest going to mma.tv and sign up to the underground forum. There's a rather large Canadian section and you'd probably find someone there who'd ship ya it or lives near.
  21. RavishingRickRudo

    Anybody tape Pride: Final Conflict?

    Where d'ya live?
  22. RavishingRickRudo

    WrestleMania XX's main event

    I'd rather see Benoit/Michaels. That would be... really.... really... interesting. HBK/Jericho had a good story, but the execution of that story was lacking.
  23. RavishingRickRudo

    WrestleMania XX's main event

    They've booked Goldberg poorly. His "quest" for the title sucked, his title reign has been lacklustre, and he isn't nearly the same wrecking machine he was in WCW. He isn't "Da Man!". Brock hasn't looked especially strong either. The whole appeal of Brock vs. Goldberg is that it's two "unstoppable forces" colliding and they both are "regular guys" right now living off their past when people actually wanted to see the two go at it. Cena vs. Brock... *shudders*
  24. RavishingRickRudo

    Going to see UFC 45 live!

    It's going to be a "solid" show. I can't really see any "bad" fights on the card and the past 2 UFC's have been excellent. With that said... I'm not getting it. I just don't have any real interest in any of the fights. I got UFC 43 because of Liddell vs. Couture, I got UFC 44 cause of Tito vs. Couture, I got the Prides cause... well the list is too long -Cabbage vs. Tank should be fun. -Ricco vs. Rizzo could be really good or REALLY bad. -Hughes vs. Trigg ... I don't know how to call Hughes' matches. A lot of them have been boring and it's usually up to the opponent to "make" the fight. -Baroni vs. Tanner has promise -Edwards and Lawlers respective fights should have some good stuff in it as well. Like I said, it's a good show but I can't see myself going insane like I did at the last Pride show, or the last UFC.
  25. RavishingRickRudo

    WrestleMania XX's main event

    I have no desire to watch WM 20 as well. Unless they stack it with 3 *awesome* matches (And I'm talkin legit awesome) it won't be worth the $500 you have to pay for it.
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