I don't know if this has been posted yet, but I found it pretty funny...
The Name Game
by Spike Dudley
Sept. 19, 2003
We spend a lot of hours in rental cars. On any given week, we drive hundreds of miles getting from one town to another. One of the more popular ways to kill time is to play the “Wrestling Name Game.” Games have been known to go on for hours. Tommy Dreamer (who claims to have never lost a game) played for eight hours driving with Paul Heyman, Chris Candido and Sunny a few years ago. It’s a test of one’s wrestling knowledge, but the entertainment value that comes out of it far outweighs the competition of the game.
First, let me explain the game. One person starts by saying any wrestler’s name, for example, Chris Benoit. The next player must name a different wrestler whose name begins with the first letter of the previous wrestler’s last name. In this case, the next name must begin with a “B.” Let’s say Brock Lesnar. The next player would then have to say a wrestler beginning with an “L,” and it continues around the car in order of participants. If someone can’t think of a wrestler, he is eliminated. The game continues until only one person is left. There are several other rules that I’ll explain later. Sounds simple enough, huh? Well, it’s supposed to be, but I’ve yet to see a “simple” game played. In fact, I’ve only completed one game because of the controversy and arguments (pure entertainment) that ensue.
Recently, I was in a car with Dreamer and Bubba Ray Dudley, and we decided to play. The first problem we had was the ruling on double-letter names. These are names like Arn Anderson, Rick Rude, Bob Backlund. The traditional rule is the order of the play reverses back to the previous player when a double name is used. Play continues in the reversed order until another double name comes up, reversing play back. If someone used Arn, the player would have to name a wrester beginning with an “A.” Tommy Dreamer and Christian devised a way to speed up the game. The order would not reverse, but the next player would have to name two wrestlers whose name begins with an “A.” If a person names someone with three names starting with the same letter (example, Hunter Hearst Helmsley) the next player would have to name three wrestlers beginning with an “H.” That argument took up about 15 minutes last week when Tommy and Bubba bickered over which game to play. The conversation ended something like this:
Tommy: “This way, the riff raff gets eliminated early.”
Bubba: “Shut up, Tommy, you sloth.”
I’m the neutral party in that car and usually get asked to be the third vote on things. In the Name Game, however, it’s not called a vote, it’s “collaboration.” When a disagreement sparks, the two people must collaborate with the other players and the person with the most people on his side wins. It really is just a vote, but the word “collaboration” is very serious to the game. Winning collaboration is like bonus points. Even if you lose later, you can claim small victories by reminding everyone when you were right and the other guy was wrong.
These come up all the time in long games. When players get desperate for names, they’ll pull anyone out of their hat. Tommy argued that David Arquette should be allowed as an answer because he was the WCW World Champion once. Bubba argued that he is not a wrestler and does not qualify. Again, these debates can kill hours. By Tommy’s rule, anyone who ever took part in anything in professional wrestling should be allowed. Bubba went nuts because this would include the likes of Jay Leno, Cyndi Lauper, Dennis Rodman, Karl Malone, Robocop and the endless list of celebrities who have participated in wrestling at some point. Bubba was disgusted with this. The conversation ended something like this:
Bubba: “So you’re telling me I can use Pete Rose as an answer?”
Tommy: “Yes.”
Bubba: “Shut up, you sloth.”
Once the game got rolling, Tommy pulled out the big guns. He’s the most experienced with the Name Game and he knows a few tricks. Some may be morally challenged, but Tommy takes a lot of pride in his Name Gaming. See, the letter “X” can be a deathblow to any participant. First, only a handful of wrestlers have “X” as a name. And second, the names Tommy has stored away in his vault are so obscure that we haven’t heard of most of them. This brings up more collaboration. Anyway, at about the third round of our game, Tommy gets an “M.” What should his answer be? Mr. X, of course. Tommy was waiting for an “M” because he could pull out Mr. X and stick Bubba with an X-named wrestler. Bubba couldn’t come up with anything and was eliminated. I couldn’t come up with anything and was eliminated. Tommy won in the third round. This stunk because we still had two hours to drive.
Now, Bubba and I both choked because we forgot X-Pac, who should have come to mind. So we deserved to lose. But we couldn’t put up with being whipped, so we argued the legalities of the Tommy’s victory. I thought the move was morally wrong because Tommy knew someone would be eliminated early and the point of the game is to kill time. Tommy went for throat early in the name of victory. The conversation went something like this:
Tommy: “I want to win. I’m undefeated, brother.”
Bubba: “Shut up, you sloth.”
Bubba hammered Tommy about X-named wrestlers. Tommy claimed to know eight wrestlers beginning with an “X.” Well, Bubba wasn’t going to let him off the hook. He demanded Tommy list the names. Tommy didn’t want to give away all his secrets for future games. However, Bubba can be relentless, and Tommy broke down and listed a couple. One he mentioned was Xanta Claus. A gimmick a few years back that ended quickly. Bubba said it was spelled with a “Z,” Tommy claimed “X.” I knew Tommy was right, but I became the collaborator. Well, if Bubba and I lost the game, we sure as heck weren’t going to lose the last collaboration. When it came time for me to decide if Tommy had another X-name, I stammered, “I’m pretty sure it’s spelled with a ‘Z.’” This brought the roof down. We finally decided to use an outside source to collaborate. I called Christian to judge this one, as he’s a super wrestling nerd in useless wrestling knowledge, just like Tommy. I put the phone to my ear. Bubba’s eyes lit up, and he quickly grabbed it from me. The call went something like this:
Bubba: “Christian, how is Xanta Claus spelled? Thanks, bye. Tommy, it’s with a ‘Z,’ you sloth!”
Of course, Bubba was lying (it is spelled with an “X”) but Tommy admitted loss on this collaboration. Even though Tommy beat us soundly, Bubba was ranting about this pathetic victory. At this point, we were a few miles from the next town. So a game that only went three rounds took up close to two hours. Let me tell you that the arguing got a lot nastier than what I’ve indicated. I can’t print 90 percent of the actual conversation because it would be one big bleep. Anyways, we smartened Tommy up later at the arena, continually ribbing him before we did. More importantly, we killed the two hours and had a ton of fun doing so.
