Jobber of the Week

Man 1: Okay, pretend it's a Senate race, and you've got Washington, Abe Lincoln, Thomas Jefferson, and Ben Franklin all running.. Man 2: Uhuh. Man 1: And then you have one coach Mike Ditka. Man 2: Okay, does Ditka have a platform issue the others don't? Man 1: No, and Abe Lincoln has summoned Godzilla and he's there, too. (longish pause) Man 2: I'm going to have to do with Ditka. Man 1: Me too, you see all he has to do is wait for Godzilla to stomp on the other three guys and then all he has is Lincoln and a weakened Godzilla and, pffffh, that's easy. Man 2: Then he moves from this job to the Oval Office and you know who makes up his cabinet? Both: DA BEARS!

Oh. My.... GOD.

I'm not a heterosexual. While I have a position on the issue, I don't find it really important at all and have long list of issues I'd rather get taken care of first.

That's actually exactly what I'm proposing if you read it harder. Keep in mind the church will now be able to soley decide who gets married or not. So you still won't be able if you're not a member of the church and/or the church won't let you, which is likely to happen if this scenario occurs. So straight people will still get married, gay people still won't but will still get the same benefits, and people like you will still be anal about this even when it's just a fucking word.

Technically they will be, becuase in such a senario marriages are purely religious in nature. The new John & Jane Doe will trumpet to their neighbors that they "got married," but to the government it's the same thing. Doesn't matter if you subscribe to a ceremonial union called "poked in the eye with a sharp stick", to Washington it's a civil union all the same.

Kind of extreme to compare a reactionary war involving many countries to us going and picking a fight with someone on our own violition.

This is simply culture, and culture changes over time. A civil union sounds like a business proposal because that's what it is, a government process that requires no more than two people in love. Marriage is simply a bunch of extraneous religious mumbo-jumbo piled on top. Think about this: A funeral is a funeral, but different religions have different rituals complimenting the typical funeral stuff.

Sorry, SpiderPoet, but while I've disagreed with you on things before, I've never really lost respect for you like I can when you endorse those programs that "reform gays" through religion. All these programs do is encourage people to change by making them hate what they've done with their life, and to me that's much more of a negative program than a positive one. re: "Liberal teachers" and how wrong they are. In my own opinion, although I'm not a churchy fella, I don't see how gays and the church can't coexist except people on both sides are extreme enough to never be able to accept the other. A few more sinners isn't going to be the end for the church, since supposedly we're all sinners in the first place and Jesus showed love for everyone who would simply accept it.

Not really. A civil union will be viewed as what happens when two people love each other. Marriage will be considered a bunch of crap on top of that. Anyway, sourcing the Bible as cause for legislation in any circumstance is stupid.

Condoms aren't perfect, but it's what's around. Development of all things takes time. Could you imagine similar levels of protection available 30, 40 years ago? Hah. Good thing we didn't have similar outbreaks going on back then, especially in the late 60s with all that free love and sex orgy shit. That said, promoting nothing but abstinence is one of the dumbest Bush administration policies. So dumb that I don't even argue with conservatives about it because we all wind up agreeing. Abstinence-only education only makes people dumber and more ignorant about sex because they know nothing, and will only cause us more similar problems in the future.

I have said this five times. I will say it again: They should have used Rey, Noble, and Kidman in a 3-person feud for the cruiser belt, and teamed Paul London up with Shannon Moore instead. This would not only have allowed London to continue using the SSP (and possibly develop it into an angle with Kidman donw the line), but all they'd have to do is have Moore grow his hair out again and BOOM, an all-new Hardy Boyz face team who men love for the bumps and women love for the OMGSODREAMY, and they won't even have to mention Matt & Jeff to get the same vibe going.

Fun fact: Bret once complained that Goldberg "reads too much of his own PR." If irony was an ice cream, I'd be asking you if you wanted chocolate or butterscotch RIGHT NOW.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHHA Great help that'll do, guys.

ReplayTV. While I don't need to explain to any DVR owners why the technology rocks, my Mom uses it for evil, unfortunately. Recording everything she's ever wanted to see and then lounging in front of the TV for hours never getting anything done. It got so bad we turned off DirecTV. =/

The full text of the memo actually names NYC as a target. And saying "but this is what Gore would do" is a total cop-out and a piss poor way of diverting blame for mistakes. Gore isn't President. Bush is.

"That's a nice song, but there's no chance in hell we're going to hear it! PLAY MY SONG AGAIN!" I imagine Ashcroft's Dance Party would be 30 minutes of everyone sitting there with no music and no dancing. "Join us next time when John Ashcroft's Dance Party takes place from the Reagan Memorial Library."

Bad as Ashcroft is, he's still better than the she-male Reno. -=Mike Bah! I'd like to see John Ashcroft throw a dance party and then we'll see... Oh wait, he doesn't dance because it's the devil's motions or something. Damn.

Well that does it. This calls for DISTINGUISHED VIETNAM VETERANS WHO AREN'T AFRAID TO ADMIT IT! Go, ketchup fortunes, go!

One other thing I feel like complaining about in this article: Kind of inappropriate for a guy who phoned in so many matches that he wound up spurring the catchphrase "five moves of doom" to complain about something like that. Keep in mind that I wasn't watching wrestling during all but the most recent chapter of Flair's career, and I missed Bret's career entirely, and I even missed Montreal having started watching only in 99, so I don't really have any nostalgic favoritism here.

WHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNEEEEE It's sad, too. Bret was really starting to sound like he got over it in recent months. Obviously not bonding enough with Vince to appear on WWE TV, but he no longer had to sit and bitch about 1997 to everyone who'd listen. He's shown his true colors again. Sigh.

Paper: "Bin Laden determined to attack inside America." Bush: What is this bullshit about? I think I'll forget about it. Richard Clarke: Uh, sir... Bush: Not now, Zorro is on. Clarke: Yeah, okay, guess I'll leave my papers on the desk. Americans: *blissfully unaware* Bin-Laden: Me turn planes into boom booms. Americans: Well, at least they caught us unaware. Clarke: Actually, it was pretty friggin' obvious. Americans: WHAT? Congressional Investigators: Uh, yeah. He's right. Oops. Bush: Hey, check this out! I got a plan for a scenario that we have absolutely no hunches could ever happen! Be prepared, but in case you aren't, we've moved the terror scale from "steady as she goes" to "En Garde!" Americans: Shouldn't you be paying attention to real issues or something? Bush: If I start, you'll expect me to keep it up. I'm going to go talk about the threatening dangers of gay marriage now. Bye. MikeSC: Brilliance!

Like Monty Python said, look on the bright side of death.

This just in: Dames is going to tempban you and you'll come back in six months without the mask. Or the mystery. (Kidding. Duh )

^^ Aiyeeeeeee it is a sad day for kayfabe. Anyway, I don't really believe this yet. Vince thought he was getting another Rey Mysterio with Ultimo, and was shocked to find he got another Jamie Noble. I suspect he'd rather be happy to clean his hands of the guy, than bring him back.

I wouldn't count out the Xbox game yet. I don't know who's making it, but it's a whole new group of people since the Raw/2 crew was fired and then Anchor lost the license shortly after that. So don't let the Raw games affect your view of the upcoming one.