Jobber of the Week

You know the "TERROR TERROR TERROR!" and the "America's Fresh Start" themes are going to collide at some point. And when it does, we're going to see Bush TV ads that show 9/11 with a Kenny G soundtrack.

Harvard Interviewer: Okay, I've got to test you here to determine if you're qualified. I'm just going to ask you some questions, okay? Black Student: Okay. Harvard Interviewer *reading monotone out of a book*: Yo. Sup, G? Black Student: Excuse me? Harvard Interviewer: Let me... What is this, oh... Let me "axe" you something. You go to the corner of fifth and lincoln and pick up the.. Fat? No, I see... The phat grass? Black Student: Uh... I have no experience with drugs, sorry. Harvard Interviewer: Yo. Yo.... *adjusts glasses* Yo yo yo. What good this joint gone be.. I think that's correct... If you don't bang some hoes. Yo. Black Student: I'm sorry? Harvard Interviewer: Who's the real MJ? Michael or Magic? Black Student: Michael Jackson? Harvard Interviewer: *sips a Starbucks frappucino* Naw, dog. I jest going old school. That was trick. Black Student: Well, okay. Harvard Interviewer: Now that that's out of the way, how many "-izzles per minute" can you make? Black Student: I don't know what you're talking about here. Harvard Interviewer: Sorry. You've been rejected because you're not black enough. Black Student: What do you mean by that? Harvard Interviewer: Well, you're Denzel Washington but we're looking for Snoop Dogg. Black Student: Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh god, they had to use that visitor-submitted MoveOn contest ad that compared him to Hitler. Where was the ad with the first Hitler reference? It said paid by MoveOn but I couldn't see it. Oh, wait, another submission, I guess. LOL!!!!!! Bush = Optimism? Last I heard, the war on terror was supposedly the new calling of our time and we should be bracing for youngest children to be fighting it in twenty years because DEFEATING THOUGHT IS HARD.

RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMOOOOOORRRRS Almost everything in this thread is an unconfirmed rumor taken as fact. That's sad. Anyway, I doubt Nintendo will have the edge in the next gen. They're lazy, short-sighted, and now they've gone insane about how they want to change the most basic fundamentals of gaming because somehow the industry is dying. All this dying is restricted to Nintendo. If they took their blinders off and opened themselves up to seeing what other people are doing, they'd see that people are making good money. A game industry run by Microsoft or Sony is a bad thing, so I hope Microsoft can eventually reach the point where they begin making money in the Xbox department, because those two ripping each other's throats out is good for all of us.

I've been recovering from a nasty virus that hit my computer, so I've been out of the fighting for a while here. Look, I think it's unfair and stupid to snipe at Bush for sitting in the room and reading during that time. However, I thought it was equally stupid when I saw the usual crew of talking heads talk about how he was projecting calm and grace under fire. Let's just be honest, people. He was trying to mentally swallow the news just as we were. To villify or glorify those moments is beyond stupid.

Friend of mine sent this to me. Appearantly, Gallup put on some kind a poll asking people what's morally right and wrong by today's standards, and while they've got charts and graphs up at the page for it, this is the data without all their extraneous text SUMMARY TABLE: MORAL ACCEPTABILITY OF ISSUES 2004 May 2-4 (sorted by "morally acceptable") Morally Morally acceptable wrong % % Divorce 66 26 Gambling 66 30 The death penalty 65 28 Buying and wearing clothing made of animal fur 63 31 Medical testing on animals 62 32 Sex between an unmarried man and woman 60 36 Medical research using stem cells obtained from human embryos 54 37 Doctor-assisted suicide 53 41 Having a baby outside of marriage 49 45 Homosexual behavior 42 54 Abortion 40 50 Cloning animals 32 64 Suicide 15 79 Cloning humans 9 88 Married men and women having an affair 7 91 Polygamy, when one husband has more than one wife at the same time 7 91 What the hell? I post these parts again to make sure everyone has done a double take: Sex between an unmarried man and woman 60 36 Having a baby outside of marriage 49 45 Homosexual behavior 42 54 Being loose and easy? Fine? Accidentally getting her preggers and having a baby raised without a "real" family? Well, we'll let it pass. BUT DON'T YOU LET THOSE TWO MEN BUMP UGLIES! I think I'll go to bed and wonder what the hell happened to the world.

You're just saying that to annoy me, huh?

The law is not unbreakable. It is simply a guide. There are punishments for getting caught breaking the law, and except in extreme cases or cases of physical resistance, violence isn't one of them. I agree with Cerebus' post. The complaining by the guy seems a little petty but the situation was clearly under control. I consider the guy's crying foul to be his method of extracting a little revenge out of the situation, and I won't say whether that's right or wrong because I don't know if I'd do that myself if such a beating was handed to me.

Death is death is death. Stick to your guns or not, don't try to justify it.

The problem with Heyman is that none of his ideas have ever drew money. Ideas people have taken from him have drew money, but that's not the same thing according to the boss, especially since the boss was the guy doing the taking.

Better to abstain from voting than vote when you don't understand any of it. That's what I believe, anyway. That's why I didn't vote in 2000.

Flair might be bitter, but Bret has been bitter for YEARS, and has been very public about it. Advantage: Flair. I like Foley more though, both as a guy and as a character.

(unfunny remark about Germany, Hitler, and supersoldiers)

Absolutely not. Our state elections are screwed up enough already. We don't need another Florida. It also encourages waving your voting pen around uninformed, which can be worse than not voting at all.

Well, at least he's quiet about it. I think of Soros more as Scaife than Moon, but I just prefer the Moon comparison becase it makes our guy look less crazy. Well, at least I'm honest.

That would discourage high-speed chases, and would provide me with a lot less entertainment. Rejected. Also: http://www.kttv.com/

Wow. Suddently, George Soros seems like a pretty well-adjusted guy.

I expect an HHH cover on the DVD. With a slogan like "Let the games begin" it just makes sense.

I think it's the old thing about taking a life to save a life. A couple people here in the last few posts have stated that an embryo is a human life but I'm not sure if they realize that opinion is a point of contention. Oh well, I still maintain that you can keep going and eventually reach at "STOP MASTURBATING! YOU'RE KILLING INNOCENT PEOPLE!"

(Note: KKK alert for incoming "Kerry is a veteran" revelation) http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/artic...-2004Jun22.html I'm sure someone will say that this is just payback for the filibusters that occured during the whole judge nominee thing, and it'll simply prove my point that this kind of crap goes both ways.

And here I thought the Kinetic pictures couldn't get any worse than the shot on his hands and knees wearing only his underwear. I was wrong.

Invited a few friends to the house to find that a bunch of kids had broken in and pranked the hell out of it to make it look like a rejected set from a horror movie. Mostly me going around throwing crap out and cleaning up the ketch, uh, bloodstains and crap. Not fun.

Hey, we did the same thing in elementary school. I represented Clinton (minus the blowjob jokes) with a bunch of material I learned from watching one of his informercials. We didn't have a Perot, though. I won, even though our teacher (remember, this is a private school with one teacher teaching a group every subject through the afternoon) twice mentioned that she supported Bush Daddy (once the other kid in the fake election, and then saying she voted for him in the real one.) So somehow I managed to beat the Republican special interests.

I cashed in another unemployment check from the government to buy a sense of humor just for you.

This is right, you are either 100% right or 100% left. This is why I'm listening to Best Of Streisand before leaving for the small locally-owned coffee shop being squeezed by Starbucks across the street, where we will expouse on how a book of poetry found in the Used Books section of the attatched bookstore draws strong connections to the plight of prisoners in Iraq, although the book was written 35 years prior. Then we'll go to a friend's house so we can help him finish taking down all the Howard Dean campaign posters still applied to his house, so we may cover the place in Dennis Kucinich posters. Meanwhile, KKK is in a stately mansion and discussing to his pre-lunch teatime friends (all white, of course) about how business and the free market ought to be able to control everything it can without regulation. He will then need a limo, and request that one of his butlers (all minorities, of course) bring one of the fleet around so he can put some time in at the golf course.