JJ Johnson

I'm torn, because Genesis IV is undoubtedly the best PPV of all time. But one more Genesis in Madison Square Garden and I strangle somebody.

From the Fire was when Clark beat Thugg by coming off a truck through a car, and I was exaggerating on the money. It's at least a dime.

WC also wasn't around for Thugg being active, Toxxic. Although he was around for Thugg's ringer Bastion. So Wildchild, you are a damned dirty liar, and for that, I fine you 2 dollars Canadian. I expect my American nickel very soon.

Also, the Alamodome is in San Antonio. Since that's where the Alamo is.

Cross, pay attention. The kick at the end of the promo hits something, thus making it being Bob Sapp impossible.

Man, mine's going to be pathetic. Also, the title of Grand Slam Champion belongs to a Mr. Andrew "Sacred" Blackwell.

It's me, you guys.

Hey, I debuted that show. Wicked. History of the Title stuff is awesome, especially if you can keep this going.

Yep.

Velociraptor asked me to post these for him, you guys. Wrestlers Name: A Velociraptor Real Name: Deinonychus (Velociraptor is just a gimmick) Height: 4'11" Weight: 190 pounds Hometown: Mongolia Age: 70,000,000 Face/Heel: High-flying cocky heel Stable: The Pack, with 3-6 other velociraptors. Ring Escort: The Pack Weapon(s): A 6-inch razor-sharp claw on the middle toe of each foot Quote: "EEEEEEEEEEEERRRKK!!!!" Looks: A velociraptor. Ring Entrance: John Williams' "Journey to the Island" plays as a velociraptor comes down the ramp. Then, with the opponent paying attention to that raptor, the real A Velociraptor attacks from the side. Stats: ¯¯¯¯¯ Strength: 2 (Seen his arms? Holy shit, he's like Captain Wimp, but in raptor form.) Speed: 8 (Cheetah-speed. Still not quite as fast as WC, though.) Vitality: 5 (Took a T-Rex to kill him, holy shit.) Charisma: 5 (Top heel of the Jurassic Park Wrestling Federation, and for good reason.) Style: Lots of kicks, having no upper body strength to speak of. Signature moves: Yakuza Kick Bite (when the ref isn't looking. Or when he is. Like he cares.) Springboard Front Dropkick Common moves: Kicks Lurk in the shadows Headbutt Be distracted by loud noises Fail to kill small, dorky hacker chick Fail to kill smaller, dorkier electrocuted kid Fail to kill Alan Grant Fail to kill Ellie Sadler Fail to kill John Hammond etc. Rare moves: Kill an important character: Never been used before. Sell it appropriately. Finishers: 1) Slash across the stomach with big motherfuckin' claw. PM ME BEFORE KICKING OUT Notes: A velociraptor. Bio: Marshall, Will and Holly! On a routine expedition! Met the GREEEEAAAATEESTT EARTHQUAAAAKEE EVER KNOOOOWNN! High up on the rapids, it struck their tiny raft! AAAHHH!! And plunged them down a thousand feet beloooooowww! To the LAAAAAAAND OF THE LOOOOOOOSTT!!! (Lost-lost-lost!) RARR!! And then this guy ate them. Don't front.

Your angle has terrible hygiene.

We should've had this in the fuckin' Land of the Lost, man. Marshall, Will and Holly! On a routine expedition! Met the GREEEEAAAATEESTT EARTHQUAAAAKEE EVER KNOOOOWNN! High up on the rapids, it struck their tiny raft! AAAHHH!! And plunged them down a thousand feet beloooooowww! To the LAAAAAAAND OF THE LOOOOOOOSTT!!! (Lost-lost-lost!) RARR!!

16 minutes - I passed the damn test, too - and I'd gladly mark if you Commu-hippies would let me.

Who?

Opening promo.

Huzzah, for it is Galaween!

Like hell. Milano's my hero. THE MAIN EVENT - TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Tom Flesher and Charlie "GRAPPLAH" Matthews vs. Kerry Staunton and Scott Rageheart -BIG TAG TEEM BATTEL. -=-=-=-=- The New Doomtopians vs. Michael Stephens and Landon Maddix -The New Doomtopians after Milano Collection AT runs in and puts Stephens in the Paradise Lock for his blasphemy, and the ref doesn't care because holy shit, Milano Collection AT is awesome. -=-=-=-=- Grendel vs. Michael Cross -Michael Cross via armbreaker. -=-=-=-=- Mike Van Siclen vs. Bruce Blank -Bruce needs to introduce a brother named Cardboard Blank, and have people constantly lose when booked against him because they write him as a cardboard cutout instead of a brutal mat technician with a mean streak - and a heart of gold - from the icy plains of Greenland. He also needs to win this match, and he will. -=-=-=-=- Trent Hawk vs. Zyon -Zyon, but an upset from Hawk would be wikked stylez and whatnot. -=-=-=-=- Insane Luchador vs. Ciro Vitale -Semi-tough call, as IL is more experienced, but he's also much less likely to show. In theory. Unrelatedly, Ciro should have a move called Cirohsis. Liver diseases rock. He should also cut promos about how "Dook's gunna win it all, youse guys!" For purposes of wordplay, I pick Vitale. -=-=-=-=- Wildchild vs. Ced Ordonez -Tricky. It really is. But I guess Wildchild. -=-=-=-=- JJ Johnson vs. Martin Hunt -STOMPINGU! -=-=-=-=-

Tom's promos were brilliant. More in-depth comments later, I promise.

For?

So drop out of the match. Just because you have plans for GZ doesn't mean others do, and to cast aside those who perhaps need something to do for the pay-per-view simply because you've got other things to do is, frankly, rather phallic.

Torneo Cibernetico (the O is important, the tournament is masculine and Torneo Cibernetica is an egregious change of tense), or the Cybernetic Tournament, is an elimination style tag match, usually four on four or five on five, but with a tagging order. For example: Sly, Manson, ???, Blank vs. Landon, Zyon, Spike, Akira Sly can only tag to Manson, who can only tag to ???, who can only tag to Blank, who can only tag to Sly. Landon can only tag to Zyon, who can only tag to Spike, who can only tag to Akira, who can only tag to Landon. Should one team be completely eliminated and more than one member remain from the surviving team, those members fight, elimination-style, amongst themselves. It all holds together very nicely, gives the opportunity to be dickish, and is a high-scale match for a high-scale title.

*cough*Torneo Cibernetico*cough*

I wouldn't be surprised if it was - I know mine wasn't - but there might be others like me, in that I don't post losing matches unless begged, because I can use those spots later.

It also massively increases the no-show win likelihood. Of course, Raynor, you realize this calls for a Torneo Cibernetico.