It’s a shock everybody’s alive inside the STAPLES Center as we roll into the main event. Be it via trampling from riotous celebration, blunt force trauma from being unfortunate enough to be in the path of objects that would otherwise have gone into the ring, or asphyxiation due to the high amount of tension (and, being in Los Angeles, smog) infecting the arena’s oxygen supply, surely somebody must have kicked the bucket by now. But if any amongst the 18,997 Angelenos have fallen, the noise level has not shrunk a bit, and it certainly shows no sign of doing so as the Smarktron, recently showing the events of the Clusterfuck, kicks back into life and flashes up the most anticipated graphic of the new year, featuring the two men that form the aforementioned object of anticipation.
On one side is a man new to the main event scene, but, being the longest-reigning Cruiserweight Champion of all time, certainly not new to high-profile matches. He wears a track jacket, he wears a scowl, and he wears what looks like a week’s worth of stubble surrounding his neatly trimmed goatee, giving him the dual appearance of somebody you’d find on the street and somebody you’d find at the bar of the nightclub the guy you found on the street just got kicked out of. Add slicked-back black hair, beaucoup tattoos, and a shitload of anger to vent, and you’ve just perfected the recipe for the challenger. In the case of this concoction, serves 0.
THE CHALLENGER
JJ JOHNSON
“YEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!”
On the other side is a man that has been in more PPV main events than he can count on two hands, has been in more high-profile matches than his opponent has years alive, and is the longest-reigning World Heavyweight Champion of not only 2006, but 2005 and 2003, as well as the longest-reigning in history. He wears an arrogant sneer, he wears zero facial hair, and the most attire he has apparent in the camera shot displayed on the screen is his omnipresent Mexican flag, giving him the dual appearance of a guy you wouldn’t want to run into in a dark alley and the most prolific World Champion in the history of the SWF.
SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
EL LUCHADORE MAGNIFICO
“BOOOOOOOOO!!!”
The boos for the champion are not as loud as they could be; the high percentage of loyal Hispanics in the arena prevents a deluge of jeers overcoming any sound the SWF system could make, but make no mistake. The hate is still there. And then four more words flash up on the screen...
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
“YEEAAAAHHH!!”
...and the collective mood of the STAPLES CENTER immediately swings upward, the two men on the screen freezing into place and the camera panning from their digital forms, across the crowd (revealing such signs as “SUJETE JOHNSON HACIA ABAJO,” “ELBOW A TOOTH MY WAY,” and “I SWAM 100 YARDS FOR THIS?!”), and, as the INS immediately swarm to that section of the audience, over to the announce table that houses the best commentary team in the “bid’ness”, as the play-by-play man might say.
“Ladies and gentlemen, the Clusterfuck has gone by, the tag titles have been decided, and now, it is time to get down to bid’ness,” says Pete - told you - once the camera is focused on he and his partner, “with a match, fueled by...we’ll say ‘distaste’, that is 43 days in the making.”
“Indeed, Pete,” says King, “and the events leading up to this match have certainly had their ups and downs.”
“They sure have, King,” agrees the Longdogger. “Why don’t you go over them?”
“Gladly,” says the Heartbreaker, “first off, an up. Magnifico pried the cruiserweight title out of Johnson’s dreadfully boring clutches. A down, by doing so he gave said title to Zyon. An up, he showed off his national pride! A down, Johnson gutted him like a fish with said national pride. An up, he almost got Johnson fir-”
“Wait wait wait wait,” interjects the Miami Menace, who really should have known beforehand that the Gambling Man would be anything but impartial, “I did not ask for revisionist history.”
“Revisionist history shmevisionist history,” says King, abusing a time-old tradition, “all of those events occurred, regardless of your opinion as to where they rank on the ‘up/down’ scale.”
Pete sighs. He has a point.
“Regardless of what has gone on in the weeks preceding tonight,” says the former leader of X Force 9, “tonight is all that matters. Johnson and Magnifico finally get it on one-on-one tonight, and no matter who wins, given recent weeks, it will be a violent affair.”
King takes all of that into mind, looking for something to disagree with; it’s what he does, he’s antagonistic by nature. But before he can give the words a good thinking over, and formulate a witty comeback that serves to make the Longdogger want to slap him...
...the lights drop out.
“HE HAS NOT CONFESSED, HE HAS MADE NO STATEMENT, CHARGES OF MURDER HAVE BEEN ACCEPTED AGAINST HIM.”
The roof of the STAPLES Center proceeds to fly straight off of the building, sail upwards through several layers of pollution, lose it’s momentum and come crashing down to the raucous arena as the first two notes of LA’s own Fear Factory’s “Scapegoat” blast out of the sound system, the lights flashing red-and-white in time with the grinding industrial tones. The notes hit once more, the lights flash again, and the Smarktron rumbles to life, showing highlights from Johnson’s various matches; dropping Zyon on his head with the Avalanche Dragon Suplex, shoving his boot through Manson’s face with a springboard Shining Black, and spiraling through he sky to hit Air Canada on none other than El Luchadore Magnifico. The beats hit a third time, the lights fade up to red, and smoke begins billowing out of the entranceway as the tempo kicks up. The intro reaches a climax...
RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
...and that climax is shortly followed by the battle cry of Burton C. Bell! The lights begin flashing full-time now, doing their best to highlight the smoke - or more specifically, the person in it, striding through the thick clouds to reach the vision of the crowd, one that no normal person lacking earplugs would dare do right now. But as we’ve seen in the past, Johnson is anything but a normal person.
”YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!”
The roof flies off again as Johnson emerges from the cloud, his slicked back hair catching the light from his entrance as he makes his way down the ramp, completely oblivious to the 19,000 screaming fans surrounding him. He’s never been one for playing to the fans. He has always, however, been one for kicking ass, and if things go his way tonight, he’ll kick ass and walk away with some gold.
“142 days as Cruiserweight Champion, 16 days as Hardcore Champion, and an unprecedented 9-match winning streak to finish out 2005,” begins Pete, “are what people are thinking about JJ Johnson right now. He has not accomplished as much as Magnifico - nobody has accomplished as much as Magnifico - but some would say he’s well on his way.”
“And some would say he’s going to lose, lose embarassingly,” says the Heartbreaker, “and then Magnifico will dust his hands off and move on to put his title of ‘Greatest World Champion Ever’ even further out of reach.”
“For the last time, King, ‘some’ is not an acceptable substitute for ‘I’,” sighs Pete as Johnson jogs up the steps, just out of reach of the fans mobbing at the rail to get so much as a touch of the number one contender. The Canadian steps through the ropes and immediately jogs to the corner, throwing his arms wide in a gesture that, two months ago, would have been met with boos. But not now, not with the opponent Johnson has. The Ultimate Fighter hops down from the second rope and puts his back to the corner, turning his head towards the entrance and staring. It’s time.
“HEY HEY!”
*BOOOM!*
“BOOOOOOOOO!”
“See, Pete, now this is where the smart money is,” says King, pointing towards the entranceway, “on the man that has a win over Johnson, something Johnson cannot say he has over Magnifico.”
And so, minus the pyrotechnics and jeering audience, goes the intro to Atake FDD’s “Tu Final”, the bouncing reggaeton beats thumping out of the speakers and creating a sense of uneasiness throughout the arena. Then the curtain parts, and the first thing everyone sees is a gold belt coming through the entranceway, followed by the waist it’s attached to, and bringing up the rear, the infamous Mexican flag. Some of the crowd cheers for El Luchadore Magnifico, seeing as, dickhead or not, he’s 50% of the SWF’s Hispanic representatives, but for the most part, jeers are the only things headed his way. And he’s loving every minute of it as he bobs his head to the bass, his ever-present arrogant smirk not quite reaching his eyes as he rests his flag against the guardrail before walking up the steps and into the ring, being very sure to keep at least one eye on Johnson. Johnson, for his part, looks impassive, but everybody - Magnifico especially - knows that can change in an instant. Magnifico gets settled in his corner as the massive Oregonian that is SWF ring announcer Funyon slides into the ring before popping to his feet and bringing the microphone to his mouth.
“Llllllllllllladies and gentlemen the following contest is your MAIN EVENT, scheduled for ONE FALL, and it is for the Smartmarks Wrestling Federation Heavyweight Championship of the World!”
“YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!!”
Funyon smiles; he always enjoys fan enthusiasm. Then it’s back to business, and the microphone is once more raised.
“Introducing first, on my left, the challenger. In the red shorts with the white trim, he stands six feet, one inch tall and he weighs in tonight at 219 pounds. From Windsor, Ontario, Canada...THIS! IS J! J! JOOOOHHNNNSOOOOONNN!!!”
“YEEEEEEEAAAAAHHH!!”
Johnson throws his fist up, as is the MMA tradition, then immediately unzips his jacket and hurls it carelessly to the outside, where Gus has to grapple with a fan in order to get it and take it to the back. Funyon then turns his head to the other side of the ring, and the cheers die down considerably, as well they should.
“And his opponent, on my right. In the black tights, with the red trim, he stands five feet, eleven inches tall, and weighs in tonight at 210 pounds. Hailing from Mexico City in el Distrito Federal de Mexico” - this is met with cheers - “he is your reigning AND DEFENDING SWF HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD...EL LUCHADOOOORREE...MAAAGNIIIFFIIIIICOOOOO!!!”
Magnifico points to the flag resting on the outside, prompting a few cheers, before stripping the belt off of his waist and handing it to referee Matthew Kivell, who raises it high and shows it to all sides of the arena before beckoning both athletes to the center.
“Alright, guys,” begins Kivell, “you know the rules. No foreign objects, no closed fists, no hitting below the belt, and no hair-pulling. Here’s to a clean fight, and best of luck to both of you. Now shake hands.”
Johnson and Magnifico consider Kivell’s command, and then simultaneously turn their backs on each other and head back to their corners, at which point Kivell shakes his head - they never shake hands - before handing the belt to timekeeper David Blazenwing and ordering that he ring the bell to begin the match.
DING DING DING!
“And away we go!” cries Pete, fully expecting a rush of action, a flurry of elbows, and lots of swearing to start the much-anticipated encounter. The crowd is also buzzing, a humming reverberating around the STAPLES Center as if somebody took a beehive, shook it, and threw it in the nearest trash can – this is a big deal.
And Magnifico and Johnson, to look at their face, seem to not care in the slightest. Magnifico has his usual cocky sneer, doing his best to get inside the challenger’s head before a blow is struck. Johnson also has his usual facial expression, that being the “Make one wrong move, and I gut you like a fish” scowl that he has made famous since October. Neither man moves.
“Bravo, Magnifico!” applauds King, clapping politely, nodding in approval, and ignoring the mouth-agape stare that he’s receiving from his announce partner for encouraging Magnifico’s motionlessness, “Don’t let Johnson try and intimidate you!”
Magnifico would love to follow the Heartbreaker’s advice; really, he would. But as he stands there, staring across the ring into the piercing hazel eyes of the Canadian, he involuntarily reaches up and rubs his fingers along the now-healed gash in his forehead, and can’t help but think that he’s gotten himself into deep trouble.
Across the ring, Johnson snorts before sending a rather unhygienic wad of saliva and phlegm over the top rope, then cracks his knuckles before striding to the center of the ring and doing something that nobody in the world, much less the STAPLES Center, imagined he would ever do to Magnifico.
He sticks out his hand for a handshake.
“BOOOOOOOOOO!!”
“What!?” Pete blurts out, a mixture of shock, confusion and maybe even some rage crossing his mind as the champion suspiciously – and rightfully so – inspects the show of respect that Johnson has put forth in the form of an open hand.
“Don’t be so shocked, Pete!” assures the Heartbreaker, “Johnson has simply decided to be respectful for once, and maybe not look like such a putz when Magnifico sends him packing back to Iceland or wherever he’s from.”
The Magnificent One has apparently decided that the hand is safe, and so he sticks out his own hand and approaches the Canadian, albeit still with some caution…caution that serves him well when Johnson pops his hip and sends a brutal roundhouse kick on a collision course with his skull!
*HISSSS!*
Fortunately for Magnifico, his lucha training and instincts immediately kicks in, and he rolls under the offending foot before popping back up to his feet and sending a basement dropkick straight into the side of Johnson’s knee! The leg bends at an awkward angle, and Johnson stumbles, which is all Magnifico needs to shoot in and secure an airtight front facelock! Perhaps it is not as airtight as he hoped, however, and Johnson proves so by spinning out of the hold and into a facelock of his own, which he only holds momentarily before using his free arm to hook one of Magnifico’s…
*BANG!*
…and rattle the spine, as well as torque the neck, of the champion with a vicious snap half-hatch suplex! ELM’s momentum, combined with his reaction to the pain, places him in a seated position, and Johnson wastes zero time in grabbing an arm and pinioning it under his own before reaching his arm around to lock on his dangerous Buffalo Sleeper hold…
…but the ever-prepared Magnifico borrows a move from Zyon and uses what room he has to get to his feet before backflipping over and serving the dual purpose of relieving the pressure on his arm and placing himself behind a surprised JJ Johnson!
“Ha!” chuckles King, “never thought you’d see Magnifico take a page out of Zyon’s book, did you, Johnson? Wait…neither did…”
But King pushes the horrible thought out of his head almost instantly, instead resorting to a cheesy and over-the-top “GOOOOOO MAGS!” that forces the Longdogger to resort to forehead-slapping and head-shaking as Magnifico, much like Zyon, uses his position and his arm’s situation to tug Johnson to his feet before tucking his head and lifting the Canadian for La Bomba Fantastica…that Johnson slips out of, ending up behind the champion only momentarily before he scoots around to the side and, wrapping his arms around ELM’s waist, bridges back and dumps the champion on his neck for both a saito suplex and the first cover of the match!
ONE!
T-But Magnifico has survived far stronger moves than a saito suplex, and even if one were able to defeat him, it would not be this early in the matchup. The landing he took – right on his shoulders – may have been unfortunate at the time, but it now proves handy as Magnifico is able to roll sideways and onto his feet, ready for anything that a rising Johnson throws at him…that is, if Johnson can get through what Magnifico throws at him, a theory ELM tests by thrusting his foot straight towards the Canadian’s jaw with a super kick!
*THWAP!*
The champion curses his poor hypothetical timing as Johnson immediately puts both of his hands into the path of the kick, securing a firm hold on the boot that recently tried to separate jaw from skull. Magnifico hops in place for a moment, but finally gets some relief when the Canadian nonchalantly tosses his boot away. The champion grins at his luck as he continues his momentum, spinning on the spot before taking a page out of the Book of Fasaki and driving his foot into Johnson’s face with a surprise Dragon Whip!
Which would have been far more effective had Johnson’s face been in the path of his boot. As the situation stands now, Johnson saw the kick coming and ducked, and now Magnifico looks a tad foolish as he is unable to stop his momentum and finishes another full rotation…
*CA-RAAACK!*
…before Johnson stops his momentum for him by completing a rotation of his own and blasting Magnifico with a rolling elbow smash!
“YYEEEEAAAAAAAAHHH!!”
The Los Angeles crowd explodes as the champion drops on the spot, his eyes glazing over slightly after taking Johnson’s signature strike right into his forehead. Knowing that if it got a win over TORU Takahara, the rolling elbow can do the same here, Johnson drops down and hooks a leg as Matthew Kivell follows suit before beginning his count!
ONE!
T-But much like the saito suplex, it’s way too early for a rolling elbow to put the champ away; indeed, Johnson’s win over Takahara came after the Japanese Hammer had already absorbed 2 3/4 falls worth of wrestling. A fact King chooses to ignore.
“Look at that!” lauds the King of Hearts as Magnifico fires his shoulder off of the canvas, a disappointed sigh rising from the mass of Angelenos in the seats. “That strike put TORU away with one good shot! Magnifico takes one head on, and barely even stays down for one. Good show, Mags, good show!”
“King, you do know that-“ begins Pete.
“Hush,” King says quickly, before the Miami Menace can get anything else out and make him look both silly and historically inaccurate.
In the ring, meanwhile, Magnifico has wasted no time in rolling to the ropes, where he pulls himself up to save energy. Johnson, on the other hand, merely kips up, eliciting a cheer from the packed STAPLES Center. Magnifico, on the other hand, is not as easily amused, and he charges towards Johnson…only for the Canadian to throw an elbow smash!
But that’s what the champion was banking on, and the Magnificent One slides under the blow and between Johnson’s legs before hopping up to his feet, reaching back, and hooking the Canadian for a backslide! The crowd takes a collective breath, but they have no need to fear for their hero’s safety as Magnifico takes Johnson and slides him onto his shoulders with a normal backslide pin; he’ll worry about the Baja California Crusher later.
ONE!
T-But not even catching Johnson by surprise is enough to keep him down for more than one on ELM’s first pin of the match! As a matter of fact, the Canadian’s manner of kicking out manages to keep him on the offensive as he simply continues the momentum he got from the backslide and rolls through onto his feet, where he drops down onto a kneeling Magnifico and attempts to hook on his Anaconda Choke!
“YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHH!!”
Magnifico is proving finicky, though, and so Johnson does what he has to do, propping himself up on his own hands…
*CRACK!*
…before tumbling back down to the mat and driving his knee into Magnifico’s skull! The champion flinches, but he knows not to cover his head – to do so would be to sacrifice his sturdy base, and to sacrifice his sturdy base would be to sacrifice his title. Undeterred by the champion’s resiliency, the Windsor native simply props himself up once more…
*CRACK!*
…and sends another knee crashing back to Earth with him, once more pulverizing the cranium of the World Heavyweight Champion.
“See, now this is what makes the Anaconda Choke so intriguing,” begins Pete, shifting into analysis mode, “is that if the opponent isn’t cooperating at first, you’re in a position where you can rain blows on them until they do cooperate. And while it may not look – or sound – like it, those knees do NOT take a lot of energy, and Johnson could conceivably rain them on Magnifico all night.”
“If Johnson gets the chance,” scoffs King. “I think it’s safe to say that El Luchadore Magnifico is a far superior wrestler to that lowly Manson, and will surely find a way out of this primitive and easily-outmaneuvered situation that Johnson ‘has’ him in.”
“That lowly Manson?” asks the Miami Menace.
“Yes, that lowly Manson. He heard me,” says King firmly. “What’s he going to do, melt my head with laser vision?” King chuckles at this. “What an absurd concept!”
Johnson raises himself up for another knee. Perhaps not so coincidentally, it is around this time that Magnifico gets really tired of getting kneed in the head and makes his move, rolling to the left as fast as his hips can take him and ironically using Johnson’s kneeing to take the Canadian’s base out from under him. Magnifico shoves himself to his feet at about the same time Johnson does a most unfortunate faceplant, and the champion wastes no time sprinting to the opposite ropes before bouncing back…
*SMACK!*
…and sending Johnson under the bottom rope and off the apron with a baseball slide! Only one-half of his plan comes to pass, however, as the Canadian is able to shove aside rib pain just in time to come to his senses and plant his feet on the ground, preventing a second painful faceplant in as many 10-second intervals.
“Damn!” says King, cursing at Johnson’s agility. “If not for that ragamuffin’s speed, he would have landed on his face and Magnifico would be free to have his way with him, as he would no doubt be unconscious.”
“Ragamuffin?” ponders the Longdogger as he checks for the King of Hearts’ hidden thesaurus. ELM, meanwhile, steps out onto the apron and continues his assault on Johnson by coming off of the ledge and planting both of his feet in Johnson’s chest with a missile dropkick! The Canadian goes staggering backwards, and Magnifico shows some agility of his own by landing deftly on his feet….before rushing forward to attempt to beat Johnson at his own game by cracking him with an elbow smash!
*CRACK!*
Johnson does not fall, instead stumbling even further and cracking the back of his head on the ring post. Whereas a normal man would sink to the floor, grabbing at their skull and crying, Johnson somehow manages to use the steel to give himself some momentum, which he promptly uses to put some heat on his shotgun lariat!
ONE!
*WHIFF!*
As Johnson’s lariat goes sailing over the head of the Heavyweight Champion, Matthew Kivell begins counting the two out, albeit with a bit of trepidation – one never wants a World Title match to end on a countout if they can. Neither competitor pays any attention to the count at this point, and El Luchadore Magnifico thrusts his foot out just in time to catch a turning Johnson with a superkick!
*THWAP!*
But Johnson does some superkick catching of his own, and refrains from spinning Magnifico around and opening himself up for another Dragon Whip attempt. Instead, he simply throws the boot to the ground, doubling himself over in the process…and Magnifico rushes forward, hooks both arms of the challenger, and lifts him up for a Cancun Crunch…that never has a prayer of connecting as Johnson continues the momentum he gains from the lift…and ends up behind the World Champion, which he takes advantage of by spinning…
*CRACK!*
…and blasting El Luchadore Magnifico with an enzui-rolling elbow!
“Villainy!” cries the Heartbreaker as the champion tumbles forward, managing to stop himself before he falls to the ground and becomes somewhat easy prey for the predator that is JJ Johnson.
“What villainy?” inquires the Longdogger. “Elbows are perfectly legal.”
“Well, we need to find some way to ban them,” pouts King as Johnson follows up on his elbow to the back of the head…with an elbow to the front of the head, this one succeeding in it’s intended function of dropping Magnifico to the thin mats that cover far less thin concrete!
*CRACK!*
“TWO!”
With the champeen down for now, Johnson swiftly shoos a fan out of his seat before reaching into the crowd and grabbing the recently vacated chair, lifting it high for the STAPLES Center to see.
“YYEEAAAAAAAHHH!”
“What are these nimrods cheering about?” asks King, incredulous at the reaction. “Are they WANTING Johnson to get himself disqualified?
“I don’t think Johnson’s going to hit him with it, Brian,” says Pete, although he looks unsure.
Fortunately, both the fans and the Longdogger’s fears are assuaged as Johnson unfolds the chair and sits it right next to the guard rail before grabbing Magnifico and tugging him to his feet…
*SMACK!*
“WHOOOO!”
…and having his chest lashed with a brutal knife-edge chop! Johnson winces, then his face returns to its usual stoic scowl…
*CRACK!*
…followed shortly by Johnson’s elbow returning to Magnifico’s chin! The champ stumbles backwards and ends up falling right into the chair, in a seated position…
*THWACK!*
…before slumping forwards, courtesy of a brutal roundhouse kick to the side of the head! With his opponent set, Johnson jogs down the ringside area, ending up about 15 feet away from the champion before turning to face Magnifico…and raising his hands into the air, beginning to clap!
“Oh, Jesus,” King catches on immediately. “Not this bullshit again. I thought that was a one-time deal.”
“FOUR!”
But much to King’s chagrin, it is not. Johnson has brought it back, and the crowd catches on immediately, the audience clapping their hands and singing out in unison as Johnson cracks his neck…
“O-LEEEEEEEEE, OLE OLE OLE! OLEE! OLEEE!”
…before charging the 15 feet between he and the champion and driving his boot into Magnifico’s skull, and Magnifico’s skull into the guardrail with an Ole kick!
*CRACKCLANG!!*
“YYEEEEEAAAAAAHHH!!!”
“FOUL! PENALTY! CHEATER!” screams King, leaping to his feet as Magnifico slumps rather uselessly off of the chair, his head no doubt traumatized by being caught between a boot and a steel place.
“King, Johnson did not break any rules with that,” sighs Pete, “and you know it. He didn’t hit him with the chair, and there are no rules against conveniencing your opponent by offering him a seat.”
“What about the rule against inconveniencing your opponent by crushing their skull against the guardrail,” grumbles the Heartbreaker as Johnson drags El Luchadore to his feet via hair-pulling, something the ref again lets slide.
“WHAT ABOUT THAT?!” cries the Gambling Man, pointing an accusing finger at the Ultimate Fighter, who replies with a finger of his own before rolling the limp champion into the ring, sliding in after him, and making the cover!
ONE!
TWO!
T-Magnifico defies blunt force trauma, rocketing his shoulder off of the mat and keeping his record-breaking drive alive as Johnson shakes his head; whether with exasperation or amusement, we may never know.
Regardless of that, Johnson hops to his feet and reaches down to grab the champ and tug him off of the mat…
*CRACK!*
…but Magnifico, who by now is pretty fucking tired of the Canadian pulling his hair, brings his foot up and delivers a laying enzuigiri that sends the challenger stumbling, giving Magnifico more than enough breathing room to roll to his feet and prepare for his next course of action…a course of action that he gets far less time to prepare for as Johnson comes charging forward with a shotgun lariat!
*WHIFFF!*
And the ever-slippery champion ducks, sending Johnson trundling past him! The Canadian recovers quickly, however, and turns around to face Magnifico.
*SMACK!*
“BOOOOOO!!”
…’s boot, the World Champion driving the sole of his footwear into Johnson’s jaw with a superkick! To his credit, Johnson stands tall, a hand clamped on his mouth and a slightly dazed look – and the echo still ringing around the STAPLES Center – the only signs that anything has really happened to him…a situation that Magnifico remedies with a boot to the stomach, a hook of two arms, a lift…and a double-armed brainbuster that compresses the Canadian’s spine and sends him spasming to the mat!
“Cancun Crunch!” glees King as Magnifico slides over, and hooks a leg, looking to capitalize on his devastating double-armed brainbuster!
ONE!
TWO!
TH-NO! Johnson survives, kicking out forcefully and rolling onto his front to prevent a possibly crucial second cover as the crowd wipes the sweat off of their collective brow. Magnifico, on the other hand, is slightly peeved, but he pushes the semi-frustration out of his head and traps Johnson’s leg before reaching up, looking for his Sangria Stretch…
*CRACK!*
…and, ONCE AGAIN, eats an elbow to the face courtesy of the challenger! Magnifico sits straight up, completely ignoring the throbbing area on his head, and a mask of unspeakable rage crosses his face.
“That can’t be good…” notes King.
And with no further ado, Magnifico rolls Johnson onto his back, mounts him, and begins screaming, throwing a slap with each syllable!
“NO!”
*SLAP!*
“MORE!”
*SLAP!*
“GOD!”
*SLAP!*
“DAMN!”
*SLAP!*
“EL!”
*SLAP!*
“BOWS!”
*SLAP!*
“…wow,” says King, as the entire STAPLES Center slowly goes from raucous to murmuring, staring at the obviously unstable champion in the center of the ring, one who immediately dismounts the challenger and begins walking around the ring, breathing heavily and looking both mighty pleased and might pissed.
“That…that can’t be a good idea,” notes Pete as the STAPLES Center continues murmuring, then goes from their mumbling to a chant. One that has become somewhat familiar to Magnifico in recent weeks.
“JOHNSON’S GONNA KILL YOU…”
Magnifico’s head snaps to attention, the look of rage on his face only worsening. The combined sing-songy voice of 19,000 fans, chanting something for his opponent, something that could come true…with emphasis on could.
“JOHNSON’S GONNA KILL YOU…”
After all, Magnifico figures, he’s beaten opponents superior to Johnson. He’s beaten Tom Flesher; he’s beaten Chris Wilson; he’s beaten Danny Williams. All of them, legends in their own right, and Magnifico has sent them all packing.
“JOHNSON’S GONNA KILL YOU…”
But Magnifico is forgetting one crucial detail; one thing he didn’t do against Flesher, he didn’t do against Wilson, and he didn’t do against Williams.
“JOHNSON’S GONNA KILL YOU…”
Against those three, he didn’t let his guard down.
“JOHNSON’S GONNA KIYYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!!!!”
Magnifico immediately whirls on the spot just in time to see Johnson land on his feet after a kip-up! For a moment, hair covers the Canadian’s face, but then the Ultimate Fighter whips his slightly curly locks back, and El Luchadore Magnifico looks into the eyes of his opponent; earlier, having done this, he’d seen a man bent on defeating him and taking his title.
Now, he sees a man hell-bent on tearing him limb from limb.
Magnifico keeps looking into Johnson’s eyes…before the Canadian ducks his head and brings ELM up…
*BA-BOOOM!!!*
“YYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHH!!!”
…before bringing him down with the mother of all double-leg takedowns! The back of the Mexican’s head ricochets off of the canvas, but he still has the good sense to roll onto his side and away from his back, so that he can’t be pinned. This does not, mind you, stop Johnson from mounting him anyway and smashing the champion’s face in with a brutal flurry of right hooks!
*BAM!* *BAM!* *BAM!* *BAM!* *BAM!* *BAM!* *BAM!* *BAM!*
*BAM!* *BAM!* *BAM!* *BAM!*
“Dear GOD!” shouts Pete as the Canadian continues dropping bombs on a seemingly helpless champion, “look at that punching speed! Somebody has to stop this, or Johnson’s going to be the first man to win an SWF match with a punch!”
“Ahem,” coughs King, “Zenon-Kibagami.”
*BAM!* *BAM!* *BAM!* *BAM!*
*BAM!* *BAM!* *BAM!* *BAM!*
*BAM!* *BAM!* *BAM!* *BAM!*
Pete is not the only who realizes that the brutality really needs to stop, as Kivell decides the match isn’t going to go anywhere if it’s just Johnson punching Magnifico – that, and he has his orders to keep the champion safe. And so, Kivell runs and bounces off of the ropes before coming back and, using all of his – admittedly small – body weight, throws himself into the Canadian, tackling him off of the battered champion!
“BOOOOOOOOO!!”
Johnson is thrown clear of the champion…and wastes no time in lunging back towards Magnifico, throwing what amounts to a 25th right hook!
*BANG!*
However, Magnifico has absolutely zero willingness to sit there and get punched in the face some more, and it is the work of a moment for him to roll out of the path of the blow. For that matter, roll out of the ring entirely. As Magnifico recoups on the floor, his face is in plain view for the first time since Johnson began his 24-“gun” salute.
“Sweet merciful zombie Christ!” cries Pete as he looks as the bruised and bloody face of the World Heavyweight Champion.
“Dammit, Johnson!” snarls King, noticeably trying to look away from Magnifico’s mangled features. He really can’t, though; it looks like a car wreck. “Why do you always have to pummel the meal ticket?”
Pete ignores mentioning how a few weeks ago, Johnson was the meal ticket…especially since said competitor rises to his feet, charges to the opposite side of the ring, and then sprints back, building up a 20-foot head of steam before sending himself, via his usual means of elbow suicida, through the ropes and to the outside of the ring!
And in the split second that Johnson has before impact, he looks ahead and sees El Luchadore Magnifico…dive away. And as Curry Man and Exploding Chicken see the 219-pound projectile cruising through the air to their announce table, they only have time for one thought.
Oh, mierda.
*CA-RAAAASSSHHH!!!*
“BOOOOOOOOOOO!!”
Fortunately, Johnson has the reaction time to tuck and roll in mid-air, to prevent heading face-first into said table; less fortunately, this sends him careening back-first into the edge of the announce position forcefully enough to collapse the table right into the laps of the Spicy One and the…well, the Exploding One.
“Sweet merciful zombie Christ II, Electric Boogaloo!” shrieks Pete, King getting a horrified look in his eyes – not so much for the spine-wrenching scene in front of him as for Pete bringing back awful, suppressed memories of the Breakin’ series.
“HO-LY SHIT!”
“HO-LY SHIT!”
“ONE!”
“HO-LY SHIT!”
The crowd catches on, after their initial reaction, to what sort of spot it is; on the opposite end of the apparent fan-referee spectrum, Matthew Kivell begins counting-out the crumpled heap formerly known as JJ Johnson as Magnifico looks on, a relieved look swiftly turning into a malicious grin. And in the shattered remains of the announce table, the shattered remains of JJ Johnson don’t even twitch.
“TWO!”
The champion moves in, not being cautious as he was earlier; in fact, he’s almost nonchalant, with the slightest hint of a bounce in his step as he strides over to the motionless challenger. For somebody who recently received impromptu plastic surgery, Magnifico is in a surprisingly good mood.
“THREE!”
“Well,” says King, pushing himself back from the announce table and beginning to rise out of his seat, “I’m going to leave now and beat the rush. Traffic’s a bitch in LA, you know.”
“Sit down!” scolds the Longdogger, “it’s not over until they ring the bell.”
“Or,” counters King, “until one of the competitors stupidly costs himself the match by shattering his spine on the announce table. OH HEY, LOOKY THERE! Gotta go!”
“FOUR!”
Magnifico reaches down and – drawing great deals of enjoyment from this – snatches up a large chunk of Johnson’s hair before using it to tug the challenger to his feet, where he sways and wobbles, but – thanks in large part to support from Magnifico – doesn’t fall. The Mexican grins again – actually, he never really stopped grinning – then takes his battered opponent and, with all the care of a discus hurler, sends Johnson into the ring before rolling in himself. Johnson’s momentum carries him onto his back, and Magnifico forgoes a traditional cover to simply place a boot on Johnson’s heaving chest…which causes the Canadian to suddenly snap into animation, grabbing the leg of the champion and dragging him over before transitioning into a toehold, reaching up for an STF…
…and grabbing his back after the sudden effort, causing the fans to sigh in disappointment as Magnifico wriggles free.
“Johnson was playing possum, but he misjudged his ability to capitalize!” notes Pete as Magnifico scoots around to secure a front facelock on Johnson, allowing for easy lifting.
“See? I told you the match was over. Can I go now?”
“No!”
The champion lifts the challenger to his feet before draping said challenger’s arm over his shoulder and lifting him for a suplex…but despite Johnson’s wounds, he’s still able to reverse the maneuver and float over! Unfortunately, his recycled reversal has now been thoroughly scouted by the champion, and Magnifico proves this by seizing him in a backslide before running to the ropes, stepping up the turnbuckles…
“BAJA CALIFORNIA CRUSHER!” screams King preemptively.
…and Johnson throws all of his body weight backwards, crotching the now-unfortunate champion on the top rope and saving himself from the deadly maneuver!
“VAGABOND!” cries the Heartbreaker, his mood changing from pleased to angry almost as quickly as Magnifico’s face is changing from tan to an unpleasant purple, more than slightly disgruntled about the testicular trauma the champion has received. Magnifico isn’t all that pleased about it either.
“Oh, please,” sighs Pete, “like Magnifico doesn’t deserve to have his balls crushed.”
“Yeah, that’s not racist,” deadpans the Gambling Man.
“But regardless,” says the Miami Menace, brushing off the King of Hearts’ accusation, “this is an important thing to note: Johnson has reversed the Baja California Crusher, a move that has undoubtedly been a crucial part of his previous defenses; namely, the deciding factor. Does Magnifico have another move that he can use to defeat Johnson?”
As King coughs, sounding suspiciously like “Dia de los Muertos”, Johnson turns and climbs up to the second rope, where he tucks his head under the arm of the World Heavyweight Champion before lifting…
…and once again grabbing at his back, unable in his current state to get any sort of leverage on the champion!
“See, now THIS,” says King, pointing at the wincing challenger, “THIS is an important thing to note. How is Johnson supposed to win if he can’t lift El Luchadore Magnifico? And before you cough ‘Anaconda Choke’, keep in mind that Magnifico has already proven Johnson’s ‘durr, I’ma knee you in the head’ setup ineffective, so you might as well render the Anaconda Choke void.”
Meanwhile, in the ring, Magnifico has recovered from his deferens-detrimental landing, and fires a quick back kick into the stomach of the challenger, doubling him over as he turns and places himself in a position much more handy. That being done, Magnifico dives over with his Tequila Sunrise sunset-flip powerbomb…
…but plants his knees into Johnson’s back and forgoes the powerbomb in favor of the mother of all lungblowers!!
*BANG!!*
“BOOOOOOOO!!”
“Ha!” laughs King as Johnson spasms uselessly off of Magnifico’s knees, slumping onto his stomach and grabbing at his back with a noticeable moan emerging from his battered body, “See, Johnson? That’s why you’re doomed; Magnifico innovates, you sit there and get your back broken. It’s not as catchy as the usual saying, but I like to think it applies here.”
“I guess that’s why they call him Mag-knee-f-“ begins Pete.
“MacDougal, if you finish that statement I will slap the taste out of your mouth.”
It is the work of a moment for an extremely cocky El Luchadore Magnifico to roll Johnson onto his back before hooking a leg and pinning his shoulders to the mat, Kivell dropping down to count what may very well be the deciding fall…
ONE!
TWO!
THR-NO! Johnson ignores the pain in his back and shoots his shoulder off of the mat, prompting a grunt of anger from Magnifico as the Canadian makes his best effort to scoot into the ropes. It is not to be, sadly, as Magnifico immediately scoots over and hooks on another front facelock, this one obviously meant as a controlling hold due to the fact that he’s laying flat…but Johnson slips his head out and hooks on a front facelock of his own before punching his hand through and locking his arms, rolling to the side…
“YYYEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!”
…but before Johnson can get the Anaconda Choke cinched in tight, Magnifico uses the momentum bestowed unto him by Johnson’s roll to continue his motion, taking himself into the ropes and preventing the dangerous hold from being sufficiently clamped on!
“See!” says King excitedly, pointing out the situation in the ring as Kivell orders both men to get up, “Magnifico does it again! Just when you think Johnson’s going to get that stupid glorified facelock on, the champion exposes it for what it is and gets out of it. I don’t see why Johnson keeps trying for it.”
“Maybe because that’s the hold that he used to make the generally unflappable Manson tap out to,” suggests the Miami Menace with an over-exaggerated shrug.
Both men reach their feet, Magnifico naturally faster than Johnson, and the champion decides that now is as good a time as any to light up the challenger with some knife-edge chops!
*SMACK!*
“WHOOOO!”
Johnson would arch an eyebrow if he were in better shape, considering that it’s an odd time of the match to start throwing knife-edge chops. But he’s not in better shape; he’s in a bad mood, and now his chest hurts.
*CRACK!*
So he puts a stop to the chops with a vicious elbow that catches Magnifico right in the scar formed from his flag-cutting! Sweat, as well as blood from the brutal punching earlier, go flying as Magnifico tumbles back into the ropes, which he uses to stagger forward like an arrogant boxer desperate for more…
*CRACK!*
…and more he receives, Johnson drawing his arm back and blasting him, again in the scarred forehead, with another elbow! More bodily fluids take to the air as Magnifico once again loses his footing and collapses into the ropes. However, this time when he bounces back, he has a move in mind.
*SMACK!*
“WHOOOOOO!”
Johnson’s jaw drops, but it stays down only for a moment before the Canadian spins on the spot and obliterates the Heavyweight Champion with his signature rolling elbow!
*HIISSSS!!*
Magnifico plays possum, much like Johnson did earlier, and turns around to face the Canadian JUST AS JOHNSON CONTINUES HIS SPIN AND MASSACRES HIM WITH A BRUTAL ROUNDHOUSE!!
*SMAA-AAACCCKKK!!!!*
“YYYEEEAAAAAAAHH!!”
Magnifico’s eyes glaze over as he collapses to the ground, the kickpad ricocheting off of his skull not a very good feeling as Johnson takes a moment to hold his back; not too long, though. Adrenaline is starting to kick in now, and he hardly feels a thing. Magnifico probably wishes he could say the same right now, but Johnson doesn’t particularly care as he drops down and hooks Magnifico’s leg.
ONE!
TWO!
THR-NO!!
Kivell hops up onto his knees and throws his hands skyward, two fingers raised on each as he signals the count not quite reaching match-ending quantity. Johnson’s finally got the momentum in his favor now, though, and he’s certainly not going to kill that and give Magnifico a chance to bring him down before he can get the gold. So the Canadian hops to his feet and, taking even greater enjoyment than Magnifico did, grabs the champion’s hair and tugs him to his feet before hooking him in a facelock and reaching down, looking for a Fisherman’s Suplex…but Magnifico crumples down into a small package!!
“Small package!!” cries King! “It’s what beat Johnson 6 days ago, and fittingly describes him as well!”
The crowd is on it’s feet with hopeful looks on their eyes, remembering the events of the previous Smarkdown, as Kivell drops for another count!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
NO! Johnson kicks his way out of the dangerous roll-up…before using the positioning of his arms to punch one under Magnifico’s chin and lock them together, looking for another Anaconda Choke!
“YYEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!”
The crowd may be getting ahead of itself, but Johnson would much rather they be correct as he rolls onto his front, Magnifico planting his arm – as is recommended – to stabilize his vertical base and prevent an easy roll into the hold! Knowing exactly how to counter this, though, Johnson draws himself up…
*CRACK!*
…and blasts Magnifico with one of several ensuing knee strikes!
“Oh, and here goes MMA McOnedimension with his goddamn knees again,” sighs King.
*CRACK!*
Johnson cannot hear King’s taunting, but it is doubtful that the Canadian would give two shits about the yammering of the Gambling Man if he could hear him. Johnson raises himself up for another knee, but the World Champion is about to get inventive, getting to his feet before flipping forward and hooking Johnson in a sickle hold…from which he drops down before rolling over and clamping his hands around the Canadian’s face, tugging backwards with his Sangria Stretch! Pain shoots down Johnson’s neck, and only then does he remember the excruciating pain his back used to be in; so, saving the match, he reaches out and grabs the nearby ropes, breaking the dangerous submission hold and causing Kivell to shoo the champion away from the challenger. Johnson rises, but Magnifico shoots in with a lariat!
THAT JOHNSON DUCKS BEFORE APPLYING A REAR WAISTLOCK AND DROPPING EL LUCHADORE MAGNIFICO ON HIS MOTHERFUCKING SKULL WITH A DANGEROUS GERMAN!!!!
*CRUNCH!!*
“YEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!”
The crowd leaps to it’s feet in glee as Magnifico hits the mat hard, bouncing as he skids along the canvas and finally ending up on his face with dazed look in his eye and a stinging pain rocketing down his spinal column. Johnson, on the other hand, grabs at his back some more, the effort it took to bridge so far, so quickly taking it’s toll on HIS spine.
“DANGEROUSGERMAAAAAAANN!!!” shouts Pete in what was formerly King’s job, the Heartbreaker looking mildly annoyed as the Miami Menace goes all Japanese on him.
Johnson takes a deep breath – he can hurt when he’s champion – and lunges forward, piling all of his weight on Magnifico’s shoulders and reaching out to hook a leg as Kivell drops for the count and the STAPLES Center rises as one to get a better view!
“This could be it!” cries the Longdogger.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!!
NO! NO! Magnifico survives the Dangerous German, rolling himself through and onto his stomach, where he takes heavy breaths as he waits for the numbness rolling down his spine to subside. He doesn’t get much of a chance for that, however, as Johnson is more than a little quick to grab him and drag him to his feet…but Magnifico explodes upwards, swatting the Canadian’s hands away and catching him off-guard! With a boot to the gut, Magnifico doubles the Ultimate Fighter over, then hooks a front facelock…followed by a fisherman’s suplex hold, climaxing in a lift…
…and, for possibly the first time in the match, a drop, Magnifico plunging the Canadian onto his cranium with a Barrio Buster!
*BANG!*
“BOOOOOOO!!”
“BARRIO BUSTER!” bellows King as Magnifico takes a turn most unusual for a fisherman’s brainbuster and bridges up for a pin!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
NO! Johnson survives this as well, rolling to his side and throwing the Mexican off-balance, preventing the champion from retaining his title; at least, for now. This does not deter the champion one bit, who swivels his hips and rolls onto his feet where he looks to go for a second Barrio Buster…but Johnson attempts to spin out of it…but Magnifico spins with him and hooks him for a backslide before running to the corner, stepping off of the buckles…
…and Johnson drops to his knees, spiking Magnifico onto his shoulders with a high-angle backslide!
“YYYEEAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!”
King, halfway through a drink of water, immediately sends his beverage flying everywhere courtesy of the shock of seeing a move from his past busted out.
“I SAID HALLELUJAH!” shouts Pete, filling in what King can only stammer and sputter and swear about. “It HAS to have been inadvertent, but Johnson just busted out Edwin MacPhisto’s Encore Cross, and this could very well finish the match here!”
“Who the fuck said he could use that?!” is all King can manage to get out as Kivell drops, counting down the Heavyweight Champion of the World!
ONE!
TWO!
THREEE!!!
NNOOO!! The greatest World Champion of all time recovers from his impromptu head trauma just in time to bend his straighten his body out and hook a toe over the top strand, once again snatching himself away from the jaws of defeat!
“AWWWWWWW!!!”
Magnifico immediately rolls out of the ring, grabbing his neck, wincing and swearing as another mask of rage comes over his face – he knows not to slap Johnson this time, a lesson he probably should have learned from the last few times people have slapped the Canadian. For his part, Johnson is being very patient, crossing his arms and waiting for Magnifico to get his ass back in the ring, so as to continue the match.
“ONE!”
“Very smart of Magnifico to take a break here, with that lunatic running loose and using underhanded tactics,” snoots King. Yes, snoots.
“Yes, underhanded tactics,” Pete says, rolling his eyes, “like preventing yourself from taking possibly the most effective move in the SWF today. That cheating bastard.”
“Sarcasm will get you nowhere, Drain-Clogger,” pouts the Heartbreaker.
“TWO!”
Magnifico looks back into the ring, back at the Ultimate Fighter standing there…waiting. Just…waiting. It’s unnerving. But Magnifico does have to win this match.
And so, reluctantly, he strides back to the ring, up the steps, into the ring, walks right up to Johnson…
*WHIFF!*
…and ducks the elbow that he knows is coming before sprinting off of the ropes and coming back with a dropkick that catches Johnson high in the head!
*CRACK!*
“BOOOOOOOO!!”
Johnson staggers into the ropes, bouncing back just in time for Magnifico to wrap his arm across his chest, hook him in a chickenwing, and drop to his knees!
*BANG!*
“BOOOOOOOOOO!!!”
“MONTEZUMA’S REVENGE!” cries King as Magnifico hops back to his feet, preparing for his next move. “That was an EXPLOSIVE jawbreaker!”
Pete looks nauseous at the thought of explosive Montezuma’s Revenge, but soldiers onward as Magnifico scoops Johnson up onto his shoulder…and readies him, as the crowd goes silent, for Dia de Los Muertos.
“Wonderful!” applauds King as Magnifico maneuvers Johnson into place for the dreaded Fire Thunder Driver. “NOW I can leave.”
But King had better not call for the valet yet. Knowing the predicament he’s in, Johnson takes advantage of Magnifico’s stop to take a rest by taking his elbow and cramming it into the World Champion’s shin! The champ doubles over, and Johnson plants his feet before turning around...so that it is Magnifico facing upward…and then around…and then around again…AND THEN MAGNIFICO HOOKS HIS ARMS FOR A BACKSLIDE BEFORE SPRINTING FORWARDS, UP THE TURNBUCKLES, AND BACKFLIPPING OFF WITH THE BAJA CALIFORNIA CRUSHER!!
Cameras go off around the STAPLES Center as fans, despite themselves, despite what’s happening to their favorite, snap pictures of the athletic move, wanting to commemorate their trip to an SWF event forever. Some make their way out of their seats, attempting to beat the rush of people leaving the event because they’re masochistic enough to watch Magnifico celebrate.
And then Johnson throws all of his body weight forward, and their outlook changes entirely.
The motion is enough to throw Magnifico’s momentum off, and send his arms loosening to where he can’t hold on, can’t keep the arms hooked, can’t complete the move.
Magnifico goes flying off of Johnson, falling and falling towards the mat, the canvas rushing up to meet him far faster than he’d like as the challenger loses his balance and falls to the mat.
And then, Magnifico joins him.
*BANG!*
The unflappable champion is bounced up to his knees by the impact, his eyes not clouded despite the recent head-drop he just took. He begins to fall forwards, and as he slumps downwards he notices Johnson has recovered from his considerably-less-painful fall and is shooting forwards…and applying the Anaconda Choke, punching his arms through and locking them together before rolling to the side!!
“YEEEEAAAAAAHHH!!”
Magnifico, however, has prepared for even this. Using his superior core muscle strength, Magnifico twists his abdomen back the other way, rolling himself onto his back with Johnson rendered nothing more than using a fancy cravate.
“Ha! See, Pete? I told you that Johnson’s hold was a stupid joke of a hold,” laughs the King of Hearts.
And then Johnson takes advantage of Magnifico’s position by releasing the hold, swinging his legs up, and scissoring them around the arm of the champion before pulling back with a juji-gatame!
“YYYEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!”
But Magnifico brings his other arm up and locks his hands, preventing the deadliest hold in wrestling from being locked onto him! Both men’s muscles bulge to the fullest extent, an extraordinary amount of effort going into their pulling; Johnson, using both arms and both legs to attempt and pry both the title and the left arm off of Magnifico, and Magnifico, using what must be the superhuman strength a mother gets when lifting a tree off of their child – Magnifico is just protecting his child, in this case the title, from the nasty tree that’s trying to rip his arm off.
“Yes, Magnifico! Fight it!” shouts the Gambling Man, encouraging the champion that can’t actually hear him.
“He better fight it,” notes Pete as he watches the struggle in the ring, “because as we’ve seen in the past, that hold ends careers.”
“Shush, you’ll discourage Magnifico!” scolds King as Magnifico and Johnson continue to grapple, the two men starting to quake with the effort.
*CRACK!*
Suddenly, Johnson brings his leg up before swatting it back down into Magnifico’s face!
*CRACK!*
Johnson repeats the process, and much to Magnifico’s horror, he can feel his grip slipping.
*CRACK!*
*CRACK!*
…slipping further…
*CRACK!*
…and further…
*CRACK!*
…until finally…
*CRACK!*
*CRACK!*
”YYYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!”
“SHIT!” screams King before taking his headset off and throwing it against the table, resting his head in his hands.
And at the center of all of this attention, Magnifico’s grip has failed him, and Johnson has applied the juji-gatame full-on. The champion thrashes about, looking for a way, some way to retain his title. He can’t roll towards Johnson, the Canadian is pinning him down with his legs.
He can’t reach the ropes, they’re too far away.
And he knows now that there is only one way out.
*TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP!*
DING DING DING!
Johnson breaks the hold instantly as the STAPLES Center explodes into cheers beyond words, the noise flooding the arena like no other as Jay Hawke and Landon Maddix come jogging down the ramp, sliding into the ring in order to celebrate with their associate. And despite their presence, the fans are just as supportive of Johnson as they were at the beginning of the match. Kivell immediately goes over to David Blazenwing, who hands the twenty pounds of gold called the SWF World Heavyweight Championship over to the ref. With no further ado, the ref hands it to Jay Hawke, Johnson spreading his arms wide as confetti begins to fall from the ceiling.
“JJ Johnson has done it!” shouts Pete, over the sound of barely audible sobs from the Heartbreaker, “JJ Johnson has beaten the unbeatable!”
