JJ Johnson

Below is copy and pasted from an AIM convo I had with Janus, during which I provided running commentary on my 1-hour Ironman match against Benoit. And get my ass handed to me. Enjoy! -------------------------------------------- jdreiSWF (9:21:26 PM): Now to try something I've never done: beat Chris Benoit in a one-hour Ironman match on Expert. jdreiSWF (9:21:47 PM): With frequent pauses to update you on the action, of course. coreoftheproblem (9:21:54 PM): Huzzah! coreoftheproblem (9:22:05 PM): An hour in game time? Or is it literally sixty minutes? jdreiSWF (9:22:13 PM): Literally sixty minutes. jdreiSWF (9:23:16 PM): Pins are on, submissions are on, DQ is on, first blood is off, KO is off, rope breaks are on, entrances are off, and the ring-out count is 20 seconds. jdreiSWF (9:23:57 PM): Because the outside is my house. jdreiSWF (9:25:02 PM): Christ, the pyro that forms an arc of flames is awesome. jdreiSWF (9:26:21 PM): Two chops from J3, goes for a punch but Benoit blocks. jdreiSWF (9:26:33 PM): Dragon Screw from Benoit. jdreiSWF (9:26:52 PM): LARIATOOOOOOO~ jdreiSWF (9:26:59 PM): from J3. Gets 1. jdreiSWF (9:27:58 PM): I go for a German, blocked, switch, Benoit hits me with elbows to the back then Germans me. jdreiSWF (9:28:46 PM): Nagata Lock from me, but Benoit succesfully guesses what I was trying for and it's immediately broken. jdreiSWF (9:28:52 PM): Okay, that requires explanation. jdreiSWF (9:29:40 PM): There's four options: Submit, Drain, Rest Hold, and Taunt, each chosen by pointing the C-Stick in their respective direction. You pick one, and the opponent picks one. If the opp guesses the same one you did, the hold is broken. jdreiSWF (9:31:02 PM): CROSSFACE jdreiSWF (9:31:17 PM): But I reverse, and roll out of it jdreiSWF (9:31:25 PM): And earn a finisher to boot! Huzzah! jdreiSWF (9:32:09 PM): AMAZING IMPACT jdreiSWF (9:32:14 PM): 3 count coreoftheproblem (9:32:26 PM): How does that work? Finisher earning I mean. coreoftheproblem (9:32:40 PM): The SD series needs MAJOR work in that regard and how deadly finishers are, on a sidenote. jdreiSWF (9:32:44 PM): The same as on the Smackdown games. Build up your meter doodad until you get a finisher. jdreiSWF (9:33:18 PM): And yeah, finishers are either completely lethal or ever-so-wimpy in the SD series. jdreiSWF (9:33:24 PM): J3: 1 Benoit: 0 56:59 remaining jdreiSWF (9:34:11 PM): Punch from Benoit...BLOCKED! ROLLING ELBOW! jdreiSWF (9:34:21 PM): LARIATOOOOOOOOOOO~ jdreiSWF (9:34:26 PM): MISSESOOOOOOOOOO~ jdreiSWF (9:34:42 PM): BRAINBUSTAH~! jdreiSWF (9:34:54 PM): Benoit kicks out at 2 jdreiSWF (9:35:42 PM): CROSSFACE jdreiSWF (9:35:46 PM): PICKED WRONG jdreiSWF (9:36:01 PM): J3 TAPS jdreiSWF (9:36:16 PM): J3: 1 Benoit: 1 55:42 remaining jdreiSWF (9:37:53 PM): STERNNESS DUST...Benoit flips out jdreiSWF (9:38:13 PM): CROSSFACE jdreiSWF (9:38:17 PM): J3 TAPS coreoftheproblem (9:38:28 PM): Man. coreoftheproblem (9:38:33 PM): Move acquisition is right quick on this. jdreiSWF (9:38:39 PM): Benoit: 2 J3: 1 54:31 remaining jdreiSWF (9:38:58 PM): He reversed a finisher, thus earning him a finisher. jdreiSWF (9:39:22 PM): And his momentum is way up, so his meter is filling faster. jdreiSWF (9:39:58 PM): GERMAN FROM J3 jdreiSWF (9:40:01 PM): REVERSED jdreiSWF (9:40:05 PM): GERMAN FROM BENOIT jdreiSWF (9:40:07 PM): REVERSED jdreiSWF (9:40:16 PM): BACKDROPDRIVAAAAHHHHHH~! jdreiSWF (9:40:38 PM): 2.9999 count! jdreiSWF (9:41:14 PM): Single-leg crab jdreiSWF (9:41:17 PM): J3 taps jdreiSWF (9:41:29 PM): Benoit: 3 J3: 1 53:32 remaining jdreiSWF (9:41:45 PM): Benoit gets his finisher... jdreiSWF (9:41:48 PM): Johnson bails! jdreiSWF (9:42:14 PM): Benoit rolls Johnson back into the ring! jdreiSWF (9:42:17 PM): CROSSFACE! jdreiSWF (9:42:28 PM): I pick the right one, submission thankfully broken. jdreiSWF (9:42:48 PM): ROARING ELBOWWW~~!~!~!~!~!!!!~ jdreiSWF (9:43:02 PM): 2 COUNT?!? jdreiSWF (9:43:08 PM): The FUCK?! jdreiSWF (9:43:42 PM): STERNNESS DUST~! jdreiSWF (9:43:45 PM): Rope break jdreiSWF (9:43:55 PM): SECOND STERNNESS DUST~! jdreiSWF (9:43:57 PM): ... jdreiSWF (9:44:00 PM): Oh my fucking God. jdreiSWF (9:44:09 PM): He didn't. jdreiSWF (9:44:17 PM): He DID. jdreiSWF (9:44:22 PM): BENOIT KICKED OUT. coreoftheproblem (9:45:04 PM): Benoit > you. jdreiSWF (9:45:11 PM): Apparently. jdreiSWF (9:45:39 PM): So, he's kicked out of the Elbow, and the STERNNESS Dust. jdreiSWF (9:45:57 PM): That leaves the 450, and the Boilermaker. coreoftheproblem (9:46:24 PM): I half expect to hear you tried the Boilermaker. coreoftheproblem (9:46:31 PM): Only to have Benoit Orange Crush you Flesher/Ejiro stylez. jdreiSWF (9:46:44 PM): Nah, Orange Crush isn't in the game. That's something you can lord over me. coreoftheproblem (9:46:59 PM): Hah. jdreiSWF (9:47:23 PM): AMAZING IMPACT jdreiSWF (9:47:35 PM): Too close to the ropes jdreiSWF (9:47:51 PM): Koppu kick jdreiSWF (9:47:55 PM): Climb to the top rope jdreiSWF (9:48:04 PM): WORLD'S MOST IRONIC DIVING HEADBUTT~! jdreiSWF (9:48:22 PM): 1 count. Stop kicking out of S moves, you bastard. jdreiSWF (9:48:42 PM): AMAZING IMPACT IN THE CENTER OF THE RING jdreiSWF (9:48:56 PM): ...ANKLE LOCK?!?!?!? jdreiSWF (9:49:06 PM): ... jdreiSWF (9:49:12 PM): Damn game. coreoftheproblem (9:49:46 PM): ANKLE LOCKS~! jdreiSWF (9:50:06 PM): Whip to the corner. jdreiSWF (9:50:18 PM): Punch. (In place of a SHORYUKEN~!) coreoftheproblem (9:50:27 PM): SHORYUKEN! > punch. jdreiSWF (9:50:32 PM): Get Special. coreoftheproblem (9:50:55 PM): You should KO him somehow. And get like five pins off his corpse. jdreiSWF (9:51:02 PM): Boilermaker. I'm lifting him to the top rope when I paused it, and he hasn't reversed it. It's gone into the animation, so I'm definitely going to hit it. jdreiSWF (9:51:09 PM): And I really regret turning KOs off. jdreiSWF (9:51:21 PM): Unpaused. jdreiSWF (9:51:39 PM): BBBBBBBRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNBBBBBUUUUUSSSSSSTTTTTTTAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAHHHHHHHHH~!!!!!~!~!~!!~!~!~!!~!!!!~~!!! jdreiSWF (9:51:52 PM): ... jdreiSWF (9:51:55 PM): I fucking quit. jdreiSWF (9:52:21 PM): Not even a 2 count. jdreiSWF (9:52:43 PM): AMAZING IMPACT gets a two. coreoftheproblem (9:53:34 PM): .... coreoftheproblem (9:53:37 PM): Make him tap. jdreiSWF (9:53:49 PM): That would be awesome, if I had any submission moves. jdreiSWF (9:53:54 PM): Wait a minute. jdreiSWF (9:54:00 PM): I have the Cobra Clutch in my sigs. jdreiSWF (9:54:22 PM): And, thanks to the magic of stealing finishers... jdreiSWF (9:54:45 PM): Lets try one more STERNNESS Dust. jdreiSWF (9:55:00 PM): And the 450... jdreiSWF (9:55:07 PM): That Benoit rolls out of the way of. jdreiSWF (9:55:10 PM): God dammit. coreoftheproblem (9:55:13 PM): On a rnadom note, you remind me the SD games need better dodging counters. coreoftheproblem (9:55:24 PM): Watching Janus do backflips over people just isn't right. jdreiSWF (9:55:39 PM): Benoit goes for the headbutt! jdreiSWF (9:55:48 PM): Unfortunately for him, I am standing, and simply move out of the way. jdreiSWF (9:56:02 PM): Pin, gets 1. jdreiSWF (9:56:41 PM): CROSSFACE jdreiSWF (9:56:43 PM): Taps. jdreiSWF (9:56:57 PM): Benoit: 4 Johnson: 1 46:52 remaining jdreiSWF (9:57:12 PM): Well, I lasted seven minutes. jdreiSWF (9:58:29 PM): Cross armbreaker. jdreiSWF (9:58:39 PM): Benoit has now forced a tapout on every one of my body parts. jdreiSWF (9:58:50 PM): Benoit: 5 Johnson: 1 45:51 remaining jdreiSWF (10:00:24 PM): I go for the lariat... jdreiSWF (10:00:33 PM): BENOIT CATCHES ME IN THE CROSSFACE jdreiSWF (10:00:54 PM): 6-1 Benoit. 44:15 left. jdreiSWF (10:01:15 PM): I hit the lariat! jdreiSWF (10:01:26 PM): And don't even get the chance to scream when he kicks out. He no-sells it. coreoftheproblem (10:01:29 PM): Benoit Is God. Literally. You can't keep him down. o.o jdreiSWF (10:01:42 PM): And he can make me submit at will. jdreiSWF (10:02:27 PM): Crossface. 7-1 Benoit. 43:33 left. jdreiSWF (10:02:32 PM): See what I mean? jdreiSWF (10:03:44 PM): I GRAB A FUCKING KENDO STICK AND SWING IT AT HIM jdreiSWF (10:03:53 PM): He reverses into a gutwrench suplex. That dick. jdreiSWF (10:04:51 PM): CROSSFACE jdreiSWF (10:04:57 PM): I guess correctly, for once. jdreiSWF (10:05:43 PM): Two Sternness Dusts in a row. He kicks out at one. jdreiSWF (10:07:03 PM): DRAGON SCREW jdreiSWF (10:07:10 PM): Get Special, go up top for the 450... jdreiSWF (10:07:15 PM): I'm out of stamina. jdreiSWF (10:07:29 PM): This game is fucking rigged. jdreiSWF (10:08:28 PM): I climb onto the apron, Benoit comes for me. I suplex him to the outside. That'll teach that sumbitch. jdreiSWF (10:09:04 PM): I've dropped him on his head at least 8 times. What happened to his surgically repaired neck? jdreiSWF (10:09:30 PM): Crossface, 8-1 Benoit, 38:58 left. jdreiSWF (10:09:56 PM): This is interesting, because I wasn't aware the rule was 'no ropebreaks unless I'm doing the move' jdreiSWF (10:10:27 PM): Rolling Germans, I kick out at 2. jdreiSWF (10:11:13 PM): ... jdreiSWF (10:11:15 PM): ... jdreiSWF (10:11:16 PM): ... jdreiSWF (10:11:21 PM): Knife-edge chop from Benoit. jdreiSWF (10:11:25 PM): 1-2-3. jdreiSWF (10:13:02 PM): I just got pinned off a damn chop. coreoftheproblem (10:13:44 PM): ... coreoftheproblem (10:13:47 PM): Rigged. jdreiSWF (10:13:54 PM): Exactly. jdreiSWF (10:14:07 PM): This warrants a Community/General topic once I'm done. jdreiSWF (10:15:06 PM): I'm going to blame Dream Theater. I've been listening to one of their songs on repeat for the last 20 minutes. jdreiSWF (10:16:21 PM): Rolling germans, 10-1 jdreiSWF (10:19:08 PM): Yeah, this is definitely becoming a Com/Gen topic. jdreiSWF (10:19:51 PM): I bust him open with an elbow. jdreiSWF (10:21:19 PM): 11-1, cross armbreaker. coreoftheproblem (10:21:43 PM): You keep hitting him with giant moves and not pinning him. coreoftheproblem (10:21:46 PM): Try something small. coreoftheproblem (10:21:53 PM): Maybe it'd work. jdreiSWF (10:22:00 PM): *armdrag* jdreiSWF (10:22:04 PM): DING DING DING! jdreiSWF (10:22:11 PM): Here is your winner via KNOCKOUT... jdreiSWF (10:22:44 PM): Sharpshooter, 12-1 jdreiSWF (10:23:01 PM): Crossface, 13-1 coreoftheproblem (10:23:03 PM): So unbalanced it's not funny. coreoftheproblem (10:23:12 PM): Okay, it IS funny. coreoftheproblem (10:23:21 PM): But only from the "Haha, I'm not the one playing!" standpoint. jdreiSWF (10:24:25 PM): Sharpshooter, 14-1, just passed the 30-minute mark. jdreiSWF (10:25:06 PM): Wrist-clutch exploder, but now I'm so devoid of stamina that I can't even move. coreoftheproblem (10:25:33 PM): Now he's just going to get up and apply a hammerlock to make you tap. jdreiSWF (10:25:45 PM): I almost jobbed to a rear chinlock just now. jdreiSWF (10:25:49 PM): Luckily, I picked the right one. jdreiSWF (10:29:32 PM): On the plus side, I've gotten him to the third stage of bleeding. coreoftheproblem (10:29:48 PM): Stage? jdreiSWF (10:29:49 PM): To where it's running down his chest, and an elbow sends plasma sailing into the first row. jdreiSWF (10:30:06 PM): There's three levels of bleeding. jdreiSWF (10:30:18 PM): Busted open, bleeding badly, and Muta Scale coreoftheproblem (10:30:38 PM): Swet. coreoftheproblem (10:30:42 PM): ...sweet, even. jdreiSWF (10:31:23 PM): ROARING ELBOW!!! jdreiSWF (10:31:26 PM): ... jdreiSWF (10:31:29 PM): ... jdreiSWF (10:31:32 PM): 14-2~! coreoftheproblem (10:31:41 PM): It's comeback time! jdreiSWF (10:31:43 PM): ON THE COMEBACK TRAIL, BITCHES! jdreiSWF (10:33:06 PM): Two roaring elbows and a lariat later, it's still 14-2 jdreiSWF (10:33:30 PM): ROARING ELBOW!! jdreiSWF (10:33:31 PM): ... jdreiSWF (10:33:36 PM): 450 SPLASH!!! jdreiSWF (10:33:40 PM): 14-3~! jdreiSWF (10:33:50 PM): 23:23 left coreoftheproblem (10:34:39 PM): *starts obligatory FUCK HIM UP! chant* jdreiSWF (10:36:08 PM): Crossface. 15-3. 21:35 left. jdreiSWF (10:36:31 PM): He's immobilized! Thanks, stamina! jdreiSWF (10:38:03 PM): STERNNESS DUST! jdreiSWF (10:38:09 PM): ROARING ELBOW! jdreiSWF (10:38:15 PM): 15-4~! jdreiSWF (10:38:22 PM): 20:10 left. jdreiSWF (10:38:58 PM): AMAZING IMPACT! jdreiSWF (10:39:01 PM): 2 count. jdreiSWF (10:39:58 PM): Okay, now the amount of blood is just disgusting. jdreiSWF (10:40:47 PM): 16-4, Crossface. 18:26. jdreiSWF (10:41:13 PM): 17-4, Crossface. 18:16. coreoftheproblem (10:41:34 PM): Benoit: "Hah! You think you can defeat me? I AM GOD!" jdreiSWF (10:41:54 PM): Earlier, I almost typed 150-3 coreoftheproblem (10:42:39 PM): That honestly would not have surprised me. jdreiSWF (10:42:49 PM): Me either, sadly. jdreiSWF (10:44:09 PM): Triple Germans, leading to the countout. 18-4. jdreiSWF (10:52:47 PM): I quit, with 9:35 to go. jdreiSWF (10:52:59 PM): Final score: Benoit 20, Johnson 4 coreoftheproblem (10:53:03 PM): ....burrrrrn. jdreiSWF (10:53:21 PM): Now to put it on easy and drop him on his head to my heart's content. ------------------------------------------------ In other news, DOR2 now lies in the nearest trash can. Discuss.

I thought it was LA that won the MLS doodad.

My grandfather used to babysit Gordie Howe's kids. True story. As for the topic, Judge is right. I haven't been there, but if you'd made stuff up, I would've believed you. Creativity is key to matches like these (hence my awful record in the hardcore division), and you shouldn't let the fact that you've never been hinder your gallons upon gallons of imaginative writing. If you can pull off a stilts match, you can pull off a match in a sports-themed cafe.

No, real hockey.

Hockey team. One of the better ones.

*GASP!* BLASPHEMY!

Yeah, this should be Smarkdown. And now that Janus mentions it, I haven't marked anything in a while either.

That's nothing. Back in MY day, we had to defend fifteen miles in the snow on the way to school, uphill. Both ways.

Nice try, Ja Rule. Like I'm going to pay 15 bucks for a blank CD.

Replace "PPVs" with "CFC stuff", and you've got me.

Well, any combination of Landon, Jay and I can be put together.

May WE see the CC list of tag teams, so you don't have to keep saying "Yeah, we've got you"?

Oh yeah, I'm definitely going to cry right there. Seconded.

COLD FRONT CLASSIC SEEDING BATTLE ROYALE Spike Jenkins v. Jay Hawke (SWF International Champion) v. TORU (SWF Tag Champion) v. the Wildchild v. The Masked Crusader v. Candace "The Joshi Dragon" Okimura v. JJ Johnson (SWF Cruiserweight Champion) v. Johnny Dangerous v. Manson -Me. Because I'm a dreamer, baby. HIDE AND SEEK HARDCORE TITLE MATCH: HOCKEYTOWN EDITION! Landon Maddix vs. Bruce Blank -If it were any other kind of stip, I'd likely say Landon. But it's a wacky hardcore stip, and thusly, I am forced to go with Bruce. CRUISERWEIGHT RULES MATCH Wes Davenport and ‘The Rage’ Jason Von Dierch -Muzz amz teh winning. FAMILY FRIENDLY OPENING MATCH Akira ‘The Divine Wind’ Kaibatsu vs. ‘The Magician’ Matt Myers -Myers, because I'm a jerk.

I prefer the "first guy out is gone" rules. Especially considering I've already eliminated people.

Cold Front Classic is a tournament on the various free shows leading up to the XMas PPV, with the winner getting a World Title shot at said PPV.

Had about 4.5k, hated it, so I scrapped it and I'm starting over. I hope this doesn't come back to bite me in the ass, as this match is vastly important to me, as various people know. I'm at 1k on the dot, and I'm going to be updating this for every additional 3k I get, plus when I'm done. If it ends up the way I want it to, I'll have three updates and a finish.

Wrist-clutch fisherman's suplex lift into a Death Valley Driver.

Doctor James Henderson sighs. It's been a very, very long day. He could have been home, should have been home two hours ago. His shift ended at 9, and it's a 45-minute drive back to his home in Ann Arbor. But just as he was leaving, the phone rang. When he answered, a calm voice with the slightest Ohio accent had been on the other end, with the same drone that Henderson's four-year-old son gets whenever he's reading something out loud. Before the man had even finished, Dr. Henderson knew what the letter was about, and now here he is. Instead of in Ann Arbor, in his bed, he's in Detroit, in his office, waiting for quite possibly his most important patient. He sighs again, then looks at his watch. 11 o'clock. Henderson rolls his eyes. "If he isn't here in fifteen minutes, I'm leaving, and he can go keep someone else awake." But no sooner than those words leave Henderson's mouth, there's a knock at the door. Henderson takes a moment, then puts on his best pseudo-friendly smile before saying "Come in." The door opens, and in walks JJ Johnson. There's no sign of the title that usually never leaves its position slung over Johnson's shoulder, but then again, a man would look rather foolish carrying 15 pounds of gold around with him. And he would BE rather foolish to carry a valuable item in plain view in downtown Detroit. The Canadian sits down, and there's an awkward silence. Henderson looks down at his desk, around at the walls, at the clock (which now reads 11:04. Henderson swears under his breath). Johnson just stares a hole through the doctor. Finally, Henderson breaks the silence. "So, it's been ten months now." says Henderson, prompting a calm nod from Johnson. "Almost eleven. How's your throat feeling?" Johnson thinks for a moment, then makes the "so-so" hand signal. Henderson smiles a little at this. He's been going on the "nods, hand signals, notes scribbled on paper" system of communication with Johnson since the injury, and it'd grown very tiresome after a few weeks, since it was with great difficulty that Henderson was able to get anything more than a grunt, or a shrug out of the former UFC Heavyweight Champion. There's another awkward silence, and then Henderson breaks the silence once more. "I've got very good news." says Henderson, beaming, as Johnson leans in closer with an eyebrow cocked. The doctor smiles again, as if he finds Johnson's interest amusing. The look on Johnson's face changes from interest to one that blatantly says "continue stalling, and see how amused you end up". The smile drops, and Henderson continues. "Like I said, it's been nearly 11 months since the accident-" At this, Johnson snorts. Henderson knows by now that Johnson is convinced Liddell was gunning for his throat from the start, but continues talking. "-and by now, the damage is largely superficial. You haven't been talking lately, because you haven't been able to take time out of your schedule to see me, and thus you haven't known whether or not you can speak." Johnson's eyebrow arches back up, almost as if he doesn't believe what the beady-eyed little man in front of him is saying. "You can talk, but there are some conditions." says Henderson, getting a bit enthused now. "One, plenty of water. Probably should drink a bottle for every ten minutes or so that you speak, to prevent your throat from drying out and scarring again. It's fine if your throat is dry at other times, but you want it wet when you talk." Johnson nods. Water is not a problem, seeing as how Jay insists on drinking a gallon before every title defense. "Makes it that much easier to sandbag", he says, although Landon and JJ are skeptical as to whether or not a gallon makes any difference. "Two, no raising your voice." Henderson continues. "At all. If you can feel it in your throat, you're too loud. No yelling, no screaming, no loud talking. No raising your voice, period." Again, Johnson nods. He didn't raise his voice much before the injury, so like water, it shouldn't be too hard to do this. Henderson stands, and extends his hand over the desk, not-so-subtly glancing at the clock as he does so. It's 11:15 now. Henderson sighs, and feels a firm grip on his hand as Johnson also rises. The SWF Cruiserweight Champion makes his way to the door, Henderson FINALLY packing up, and opens it. He's halfway out before he pauses. Henderson looks up from his packing. "Yes, JJ?" Johnson hesitates a moment, as if deliberating what words to use in his first complete spoken sentence in almost a year. Finally, he decides. "You could've called me, you son of a bitch." And with that, Johnson is out the door, on his way to the airport to catch his flight to Bismarck. Henderson smiles for the fourth time in that fifteen minutes, and goes back to his packing as he shakes his head. "And they say eloquence is a lost art."

What we see. What WWE most likely sees.

I'd say the second one, but Piper made a good movie.

The only Canadian that matters right now is Petey Williams but that would change if Jericho and Christian decide to move to the South. Jericho lives in Tampa, and I believe Christian does as well.

Hence the quotes around "actual". I probably should have just said the Meltzer list, since that's what I was looking for.