Bruce Blank

Oh d'oh I definitly did not read it in the way that "a 90 minute draw would have been even worse" my bad

And once again I'm left wondering Beyond the "aboots" and "ehs?" what makes CIA stand out as a character? or do I just dig down deep and break out the maple syrup drinking stereotypes of a man and his beaver? That could actually be funny I don't even know if CIA is comedy or serious or seriously comedic HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP

Hey he did get the majority of the prediction votes from all 3 of us I think

Swing and a miss there Hawk My comments were directed at YOU since you were the one going about "just imagine how it would have been" like that in retrospect made the show any better - it was a comment directed at your almost fanatical support of RoH and your propensity for trying to turn EVERYTHING into a proof of how great RoH is - had NOTHING to do with RoH or how they do anything at all. So thank YOU and pay attention yer'self if you weeeeeeeeeeeel and what was said? I said as long as the "surprise" was better than what happened with CM Punk Your "just imagine" comment followed that - so instead of mincing words or anything I'll come out and say it straight up so you can't miss it or it's connection to the line of comments that were made up until that point. "What the hell does "imagining what Gabe would have done" have to do with me hoping that THIS will be better than the last surprise?"

Now I'm just guessing here but my expertise of pulling stuff from my ass leads me to think that he's saying He has short attention span and so do most other people here in the fed so they probably mainly remeber their own matchs and "select highlights" from past shows (At least that's one "spin" on it)

The Ultraviolent title match will indeed be a Barbwire cage match - and not your WWE/WCW wimpy "wrapping the top" version all of the cage is wrapped in barbwire *ouch* and note: so Wildchild's title is the second most prestigious? I'm surprised that you guys would put World at 3rd. I mean then it'd go 1) Ultraviolent 2) International 3) World 4) Cruiserweight 5) Doomtopian *LOL*

I was surprised. Against Davis I was up against someone with mucho talent. But the stips seem to really work for me so I am 110% happy to be in the UV division where weird is the rule and not the exception more comments when I get a chance (shout out to AKira for retaining and to Wildchild for getting a Hawke off his back *thumbs up*)

As long as it's a better replacement than the infamous "this will ROCK THE WRESTLING WORLD FOR YEARS!!" Oh hey it's CM Punk for one night ... yay Just imagine if he ended up doing the 90 Minute Punk/Danielson draw he WAS going to do. and then what? Yes it'd have a good albeit totally pointless main event - wouldn't have lived up to the hype. And is the RoH is judged by "what we imagine" Vs "what they do"? Sorry but I ain't buying that, what happened is what happened and no amount of RoHardon can retroactivly make it "mind blowing because Gabe was going to do so and so" "was gonna do" being the key phrase

Mr. T. is from Chicago...better choice than Perry is this year. Except that when you think Mr. T you don't really think "Chicago" now do you? but when you think of Refrigerator Perry you think of Da Bears! so location wise Perry is one of the best choices they could make

Who'd buy it that this is their "final showdown" though? these two see each other more often than married people do

As long as it's a better replacement than the infamous "this will ROCK THE WRESTLING WORLD FOR YEARS!!" Oh hey it's CM Punk for one night ... yay

"The Big Kahuna" Oliver Humperdink - managed the Samoans in the NWA After Paul E. left in the late 80ties.

THE MAIN EVENT - SWF Cruiserweight Championship Match "The Divine Wind" Akira Kaibatsu © © vs. "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins GUEST COMMENTATOR: Ghost Machine 2.0 - If he's not grounded then Akira Ultraviolent Championship Match - House Rules Fever Pitch Match Bruce Blank © vs. Sean Davis - the guy with the best match Zyon vs. Ghost Machine 2.0 GM is kicking tail but Zyon has shown that he can kick tail so... Zyon surprises Tornado Tag Team Match Insane Luchadore and Amy Stephens vs. Kevin Coyote and The Crimson Skull Bruce haters Vs "Some guys" Bruce hate is pretty powerful I Am Completely Lacking In Originality Triple Threat Stryke vs. Christian Fury vs. Jimmy the Doom I'll go ahead and say that Religious Fury wins it (what? Oh his first name is Christian? well that made a lame joke worse) Opening Bout JJ Johnson vs. David Cross After his brief absense he's back JJJ'ing it in the ring - which means beating Cross

unless that's his boo-boo?

Ben Hardy is seen out on the stage at the SWF house show following Smarkdown, ready for a SWF.com exclusive segment (which in other words means not on TV so Ben is less than thrilled) “Ladies and Gentlemen I have been informed that the Ultraviolent champion wants to say a few things so” ”I walk a lonely road The only one that I have ever known” WHITEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TRASH!! WHITEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TRASH!! ”Don't know where it goes But it's home to me and I walk alone” The crowd doesn’t seem to appreciate Bruce any more after his latest title defense than they did before any of his other title defenses and really why should they? He’s just that unlikable – ask anyone and they’ll tell you. ”I walk this empty street On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams” BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Bruce walks out from backstage, Ultraviolent title dangling from one hand as he slowly walks up the 5 steps to the stage, it’s obvious that he’s still hurting from the match with Arch Griffon. An old fashioned bingo number tumbler is situated next to the waiting Ben Hardy who keeps glancing at it with some uncertainty. Dreams Broken: 13 ”Where the city sleeps and I’m the only one and I walk alone” WHITEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TRASH!! WHITEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TRASH!! Bruce waits for the chants to die down and passes the time adjusting his Alabama Crimson Tide football jersey revealing hints of bandages under it. Once the crowd settles down just a little bit Bruce holds up the blood stained Ultraviolent title and points to it “TWO HUNDRED!!” BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! “Boo all you like, it doesn’t change the fact that I’ve been ruling the Ultraviolent mountain for TWO HUNDRED DAYS!!” Bruce says relishing the chance to rub it in everyone’s face. “Bruce. . . Why are we here?” Hardy asks. “It’s quite simple little man – I’m here to explain the “Beat the Champ” challenge to everyone who seem to have a hard time grasping the concept.” Bruce says as he pushes his cowboy hat back with the tip of a finger. “You’ve already defended your title three times in a row” Hardy begins (it’s so cute when he tries to be an investigative reporter) “It would have been FOUR times but someone had a boo-boo” Bruce says with contempt obviously referring to his Aftershock opponent “But yeah three times in a row I’ve gone in there, put it all on the line and walked back out with the gold. And I’m ready to make it four times, five, six – however many times it’ll take between here and Battleground!” “Many people don’t believe you’ll make it 4 in a row, you’re scheduled to face Sean Davis and unlike a lot of your challengers Davis is a THREE TIME Hardcore champion” “Oh he’s got the credentials for a title shot I’ll grant you that, I’m sure he’s all tough and all, I’m sure he’s big and bad and all that” Bruce says not sounding very impressed with the man known as the Perfect Storm. “Maybe he’ll prove it on Storm… maybe he’ll crash and burn like Griffon… Skull… Renegade… Akira…. Ghost Machine… Jimmy the Doom … JJ Johnson and on and on.” BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Bruce just smirks at the reaction, apparently it amuses him no end that the fans show such a distaste for him. “I’ll make him Holla, Holla, Holla!” Bruce adds dancing the fine line of comments that could turn racist. Hardy isn’t really paying attention to what Bruce is saying, he’s busy fiddling with the bingo tumbler. “You curious Benny?” “A little yeah – what is this?” “That right there is an integral part of the “Beat the Champ” challenge – I’m so confident that I can beat ANYONE in an Ultraviolent match that I’ve decided to let Lady Luck pick my opponents, it’s how Arch got the first shot, it’s how Davis got his spot and it’s how I’ll pick the next name after I get done with Insane Luchador on Lockdown!” “So… you draw the name of your opponent from there?” “Hey you’re not as stupid as everyone says” Bruce says and slaps Ben Hardy on the shoulder “This thing contains the names of EVERYONE in the SWF and I’ll be happy to defend against them, champions, rookies, losers… even people who don’t really deserve a second shot at my title. But there does seem to be one name missing from the list right now” Bruce pulls a black marker out from his pocket, then he opens the tumbler and pulls out a plastic ball, holding it up to show everyone that there isn’t anything written on it. “Now Amy girl if you wanted a shot at my title all you had to do was ask. I didn’t originally put your name in there because you seemed to be chasing the Cruiserweight title… how did that work out for you by the way?” Bruce says with a smirk. “Anyways I think that your little hissyfit on Smarkdown meant that you want a shot at my title instead? *tisk*tisk*tisk* a little girl like you actually thinking you’ve got a chance in a MAN’S divison! Why don’t you just go back to playing with little boys in Cruiserweight division?” “I think she’s very serious about wanting a title shot Bruce” “Right, right – so in between her playing sausage factory with Landon she wants to be manhandled by someone who actually knows what he’s doing? Baby girl – all you had to do was ask” Bruce says and then writes the name “Amy” on the bingo ball before dropping it back into the tumbler. “You mean “she’s got it if her name is drawn” is that right?” Hardy asks trying to verify his interpretation of everything. “Yup – it’s the “Beat the Champ” challenge baby, can’t mess with how it’s done. Now your name may… or may not be drawn for the challenge, luck of the draw really – who knows?” Bruce admits looking like he’s got a few tricks up his sleeve. “And your next drawing will be?” “Since I already signed to defend against Insane Luchador on Lockdown there isn’t a need for me to draw a name until I’ve turned him into road kill, so I guess she’ll just have to be a good little girl and wait patiently until then to see if she’s the lucky one. Maybe she can go knit a sweater or whatever girls do while they sit on their asses waiting for life to hand them stuff. Me? I’m gonna go to Louisiana and make another wrestler my bitch!!” And with that closing comment Bruce just walks off, he’s said what he wanted and has no patience for any of Hardy’s stupid questions.

Wasn't Annie one of the guest commentators at last years Ground Zero? the England portion? or is Annie Onita totally different from Annie Eclectic?

Armwrestling in a cage? yeah I can see how that's not stupid Oh wait no I can't

LOL the beauty of irony is that it's so ironic

deal! I originally had "sausage fest" but that just had a homosexual connotation to it so the fest became a factory

I second that thanks - now I can focus my research on waxing and how loud someone would scream for a first time brazillian wax

He hasn't gotten over it, not even close. Every mention of his name, the Montreal screw job, Survivor Series 1997, Vince McMahon, "Ring the bell", "Bret SCREWED Bret" - the hate brews within him and he goes to his room and locks the door, crying himself to sleep. RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT and what do you have to support that? the orifice where you pulled it from? Now how good is he? He's the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be (How can you resist a set up like that?)

Alrighty we’ve leapt From the Fire and we’re heading for a Battleground in Florida and it’s time for the first competitive show of the run. Time for Smarkdown!! Good show all round for those of us that showed, a more action focused than promo focused show (leading up to From the Fire it had more promos than matches I think) so that’s a nice change of pace Interesting wins with Ghost taking it over Spike and Bruce’s arch foe losing to the man that’ll be Bruce’s next challenger (they each had a partner let’s not forget their contribution to it of course) I think the best word to describe it is SOLID! It was a very solid show.

LOL it falls under the category "shit happens" - no problemo

Someone forgot to actually POST MY MATCH! talk about being no sold *shakes fist*

If you’ve read Storm in detail instead of just skipping to the winners you’ve probably read how the Crimson Skull bought a title shot this week (if you just skipped to the winners – shame on you, it was a good show ) He bought it with his “Most deadly weapon” – stored in a black box and no one knows what it is. Turns out I’m not sure either LOL. I want to give Bruce a signature weapons, being the kind of character that he is I figured he’d have a signature weapon instead of just the old “Generic Barbwire Baseball bat”. So that’s what the box is for, but the contents are still undecided though. My problem is that I don’t know what kind of “signature” weapons have been used in the SWF before – outside of a barbwire cricket bat and that bad ass flick blade 7 foot scythe – and I want it to be something unique and not just a rip off of what someone else did and have it be a Sledgehammer So help me out fellow fed’ers – can you list any signature weapons that actually got some sort of fame? I don’t mean some guy coming in with a 7 foot barbwire wrapped spade in his profile but never used it – a weapon that played a part in SWF history. Oh and while you’re at it – feel free to throw out suggestions for what’s in the box (fraid I already considered and then rejected “Smelly underwear on a stick” as a potential weapon) Lil’ help for the (still a) n00b?