Bruce Blank

(woops failure to communicate, I thought IL would send this on to the proper people - this is supposed to be part of Smarkdown) We return to the ring where we find Joseph Peters front and center with Janus and a couple of his security staff members ensuring that the peace is kept for this segment. Why does the peace need to be kept? Well when Joseph Peters gets in the ring and has Bruce Blank, flanked by his brother Wayne and Insane Luchador in there as well peace definitely needs to be kept – and Janus is just the man to do it. Towering over the small SWF chairman alternating between looking serious and looking deadly serious Janus watches both wrestlers closely. “Ladies and gentlemen” Peters starts after clearing his throat “I have asked for both Mr. Rickmen and Mr. Blank to be here because I want to contain the violence between them before it gets too out of hand and others are hurt by it” Peters looks at Insane Luchador, then at Bruce Blank in a way that indicates that he didn’t seem to mind if they just tore each other apart, he just can’t let it spill over to the rest of the federation. “I’ve heard you both make demands of the other. Bruce claims that Luchador isn’t worthy of a title shot and Luchador claims that Bruce isn’t worthy of the title… we seem to be at a dead end don’t we gentlemen?” Peters says as he looks at Bruce. “There is one way to solve it” he adds YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!! LET THEM FIGHT!! LET THEM FIGHT!! LET THEM FIGHT!! Bruce quickly grabs the microphone from Peters, a move that gets Janus attention even if Bruce tries his best to ignore the Hell Machine. “WHOA NELLY! I’m the champion, I decide who I defend against. I appreciate you being in charge and all but you can’t dictate any title defenses except against #1 Contenders” Bruce says with a smirk. The crowd easily sees where this is going and starts to boo “And this little twep isn’t the #1 contender. Too bad, so sad” Bruce adds with a smirk and then hands the microphone over to Peters again. “Yes thank you Bruce for a lesson in what I can and cannot do. You forgot that I can strip you of the title!” YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! “I can also fire you!” YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! That comment draws Insane Luchador into the game as HE grabs the microphone from Peters. “NO!! I don’t want him stripped of the title – I want to TAKE it from!! I don’t want him fired – I want to put him in the hospital. IL!! IL!! IL!! IL!! IL!! IL!! IL!! ”Seems like the fans agree with you” Peters says as he takes in the fan reaction to the idea of IL putting Bruce out of commission. Peters stands there for a moment and mulls something before holding the microphone up to his mouth. “Alright Bruce YOU want Luchador to “earn” a title shot?” Peters asks to which Bruce nods vehemently in response. “Alright I’ll give you what you want.” Luchador looks very pissed off over the decision and starts to say something, but Peters quickly whispers something to him off microphone that seems to appease him. “At “From the Fire” Insane Luchador will fight for a shot at you Bruce – You specifically, not the Ultraviolent title or anything like that – YOU in a 1 on 1 match under Ultraviolent rules that you can’t run away from” Peters starts out “And YOU get to pick the opponent and the stipulation” Bruce rubs his hands with excitement as Peters tells him that Bruce has the power to pick and choose. After conferring with Wayne for a moment or two he turns back to Peters and Insane Luchador and motions for the mic. “Thank you Joe, I always thought you were a fair main” Bruce says with a monster smirk on his face and why not? Things seem to be going his way “Now I have to pick a guy that I can trust, someone I KNOW will get the job done without a doubt. I’ve seen a lot of supposed “SWF Superstars” in the ring but there ain’t a single one of them I’d trust to fight on my behalf, not a single one of these bastards who wouldn’t relish the chance to stick it to me” WHITEEEEEEEEEEEEE TRASH!! WHITEEEEEEEEEEEEE TRASH!! Bruce ignores the chant and just keeps on “There is one guy though” Bruce says and pads his little brother on the shoulder “Who I DO trust. There is one guy who’d do ANYTHING to win. If only he can be persuaded with a little… incentive eh Wayne?” Bruce turns and looks at Wayne who acts all surprised that he was talking to him. “Well gosh, darn it Bro – I’d love to rassle for ya, but I ain’t got no contract, I don’t work for the S-Dubba-F” Wayne hamming it up like he was William Shatner. “That’s a good point Wayne. Maybe Joe here could give you a little incentive to win… maybe an SWF contract instead of just managing me?” Bruce asks Peters. Peters is well aware of what Bruce and Wayne are up to, Wayne is a notorious trouble maker and hasn’t been able to wrestle for a North American federation in over a year. Can he risk it? Peters looks at Wayne and then at Insane Luchador. Then slowly he nods “Well alrighty!! Wayne you’re on deck for “From the Fire” Bruce says as Wayne just grins from ear to ear like he just stole the last pie in the shop. “And the match? How about a ladder match… an Ultraviolent Ladder match” Bruce states “Wait, wait, wait Bruce – does that mean there’ll be barbwire??” Wayne asks all excited. “Oh there’ll be plenty of barbwire” Bruce says in an ominous tone. “How about thumbtacks?? Uh-uh-uh! or how about glass? I’d love to throw him into some glass” Wayne asks in his annoying little yappy voice “Thumbtacks, glass, weapons of any type you can think off… it wouldn’t be Ultraviolent without it” Bruce says before handing the microphone back. “So how about it? Do you accept the match?” Peters asks Insane Luchador who’s remained totally unemotional through the announcement of his opponent and the stipulation. “Do I accept? Do I accept the chance to turn this little creep into road kill? Do I accept the chance to send a message to the entire inbred Blank family? Do I accept an opportunity to guarantee a shot at this idiot??” Luchador asks and then holds the microphone up in the air. HELL YES!! “I look forward to it! I don’t even care if I qualify for the TLC match or not, I will be there and I will kick your skull in Wayne!!” Luchador adds after the crowd accepted on his behalf. “Now as for you Bruce” Peters says much to Bruce’s confusion. “You need to defend the Ultraviolent title at From the Fire as well… and who better to pick your opponent and your stipulation than… “Peters says and turns his head to look straight at Insane Luchador YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!! “How about it? He needs to prove that he deserves the title right??” Bruce shakes his head and tries to back out of the deal for a moment or two, not sure of what Luchador could pull out but Wayne calms him down after a moment or two reminding him that he could blow the whole deal right then and there. “Yes he does. He also needs to stay the hell AWAY from the Ultraviolent ladder match! Bruce I don’t trust you to stay out of your brother’s match, so how about we send you AWAY from the arena?” Luchador says as anger flares up in his voice and in his eyes. “And honestly I’ve got a great desire to see you knocked the F*Beep* out!” YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! “Last Man Standing…. “Blood on the Ice” and I’ll make sure your ass is thrown against EVERYTHING in the hockey arena, I’ll make sure your head is driven through the damn ice until you’re nothing but a smear of blood on the ice” Luchador says informing everyone of the Last Man Standing brawl set in a hockey arena as Bruce’s match. Bruce looks a bit worried, a hockey arena is a new one – but he did win the “Hide and Seek Hockeytown edition” and all so he’s not totally put off by it… not totally. “As for who you’re going to face. I’ve told you that by MY standards you’re a joke… that compared to the people I’ve competed with and against in you time you hardly stack up I think it’s time to prove that” Luchador says as he looks at Janus for a moment. That half second of eye contact between the Hell Machine and the Insane Luchador turns Bruce pale white. “There is someone I trust, someone who’s a friend as well as a fierce competitor – someone I have no doubt will show you what being OLD SCHOOL TOUGH is all about!” “Quit stalling and tell us!” Bruce yells anxious to find out who his opponent is. “I don’t think so Bruce, no I think you need to worry a bit, I think you need to look over your shoulder and wonder who or what is coming your way” Luchador says with a smirk, the fact that he’s got Bruce so rattled pleases him no end and he’s not about to end it just yet. “So I’ll tell you who you’ll face. . . eventually” Bruce explodes in rage and lunges for Insane Luchador but is quickly stopped by Janus’ security force and pushed back, away from Peters and IL. “Don’t worry Peters, I’ll tell you and everyone else who I’ve got in mind on Storm” Luchador says before handing the microphone over to Peters and leaving the ring. * Fade to commercial *

Consider your day made then http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDFcObjG-CM...road%20warriors The original Japanese cheesy "The Road Warriors are coming" vignette - hilarity

God damn it I was expecting to see Chris Benoit headbutt his keyboard and then have half the posters here proclaim it the best thing ever writen. Denied

The Drunken Wonder has picked up sticks and moved out.

And if you want to be a condesending git about it then hey go for it without me I'm out

Stupid? blind? No just fed up with people shitting all over me. You need to rebook the main event, cause I'm taking this show off

You talking to me Z?

I agree. Blank's been defending the title non-stop. Give him a break. GOOD LORD WON'T YOU GIVE HIM A BREAK, PEOPLE! HAVE A GOD-DAMN HEART!! Coming from a guy who was GIVEN the tag-team titles and haven't defended them once to a guy who's had like 10 title defenses in his title run including double duty at the PPV and a title defense after the PPV I can only offer you a great big hearty FUCK YOU Especially considering that both Lockdown and From the Fire bookings will be Ultraviolent title related action. Since I'm actually going to be fully booked up on each and every show from now on THROUGH the PPV I wanted to make it clear to the winner that it can't realistically be until after the PPV.

Alright because A) BlAmy is boned LL wise and can't actually make it to the "Pool Winner Vs Pool winner" match and B) Justice forgot to forward my booking request for Smarkdown if we didn't have a lottery match I'd like to request that the Cross/Crusader winner doesn't actually get this title shot until after From the Fire because I'm booked up to my eyeballs through the PPV (Lottery match on Storm, "booking request" on Lockdown after that and if you know anything about me by now you should know I'm planning ahead and have a PPV match already lined up) First chance after the PPV though, first competitive show instead of recap show and you can book the title match against the winner. (of course I do have a couple of opportunities to lose the title before that but I'm just saying ) thank you in advance

Well this lost, shame really since I think it's got a lot of things going for it like how it's NOT your standard Tag-Team match story like well 95% of the regular rules tag matches I've read since joining It made Bruce / IL actually seem like a BIG deal and I thought it handled Coyote/LDP heading for an actual match in a creative way. Obviously I was alone in thinking that Oh well that's life innit? Note: Mike had no part in this, the suckage is purely my own. ======================================= “The following tag-team match is part of the Lethal Lottery Tournament” Funyon says we return to the ring “Introducing first from Easton, Pensylvania…” That’s all Funyon has to say before the crowd goes nuts and starts to chant for Insane Luchador, once “Man in a Box” kicks in the crowd response grows tenfold. *FWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSHH!!* *FWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSHH!!* *FWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSHH!!* *FWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSHH!!* *FWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSHH!!* YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!! Insane Luchador comes out from the back sprinting to the ring as he looks both fired up and pissed off mixed into one 201 pound frame as he holds his Lighttube sword up in the air. “You can tell Rickmen has been looking forward to this match since Storm, he wants a chance to get his hands on Bruce” Hardy states as IL starts to do a circle around the ring high fiving everyone who has a sign that puts down Bruce. “Where the hell did you come from?” King says leaping a good foot into the air as he notices that Ben Hardy has taken the position next to him instead of Longdogger Pete. “Well… erm … they thought it was best if Pete wasn’t out here for this match” Hardy starts to explain that the SWF felt that maybe it wasn’t a good idea to have Longdogger Pete and Kevin Coyote in the vicinity of each other right now. “So I’m stuck with you? Congratulations you’ve done the impossible” King says “What?” “You’ve made me miss Pete” King states with a grin. As IL makes his around the outside of the ring a figure in red and black crawls out from under the ring behind him with a folding chair in his hand. “Is that Wayne Blank?” King asks without really expecting an answer. Luchador hasn’t seen Wayne and is thus taken totally off guard by the chairshot to the back from the younger Blank brother. The impact of the seat of the chair makes IL drop his lighttube sword on the ground. *THWACK!* Bruce quickly comes running to the ring from backstage to join in the attack. Wayne has enough time to strike Luchador in the head with the chair two times more before Bruce makes it down the ramp and over to where the action is. “He hid under the ring all night just to attack Insane Luchador?” Ben asks in disbelief. “Yep he’s THAT dedicated” King says admiring Wayne’s devotion to his craft. Bruce quickly scoops up the dazed Luchador and puts him over his shoulder facing forward. With a good grip on his opponent / victim Bruce runs forward and rams Andrew Rickmen’s face into the ringpost with a sickening thud. *CRACK!!* After backing up a couple of steps Bruce ramps IL face first into the ring post again busting him wide open on impact. The crowd watches on in horror as Bruce twists his body and swings the side of IL's head into the ringpost for a third time. *CLANG!!* “Oh my god!! Insane Luchador is dead!!” Hardy yells out without realizing just how tasteless that remark is when it comes to IL. Wayne raises the chair as Bruce yells something to him, then as Bruce tosses Luchador’s limp body forward Wayne swings the chair and DRILLS Insane Luchador in the head with it. *WHACK!!* BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Bruce can’t help but smile as he looks down at IL who’s out cold. When the EMT crew appears on the ramp it’s decided to quickly cut to a commercial break while the mayhem in the ring is cleared up. *** Commercial Break *** Buy “Stuff”®© Do it … NOW!! (“Stuff” is a trademark of Frost Inc.) *** End of Commercial Break 5 minutes later *** We return to the ring with Bruce in his team’s corner as he jaws with fans at ringside over what just went down. During the commercial break both Amy Stephens and Kevin Coyote have made their way to the ring and the two of them look like they’re ready to lock up. “Welcome back fans” Ben starts out “During the commercial break the EMTs took Allan Rickmen to the back to treat him for his injuries and it looks like Coyote will have to wrestle on his own” “Luchador can usually take quite a beating but the Blank boys caught him totally off guard without a chance to protect himself – and he paid the price. If Coyote was smart he would have just stayed in the back and let Bruce and Amy win by default – but just like his old man he’s too stubborn to do something like that” King explains “One of the very few things they have in common” Ben adds. *DING*DING*DING* To say that Kevin looks pissed off is an understatement, he’s absolutely disgusted with the whole 2 on 1 situation as Amy starts to circle opponent. Kevin just stands there, hands planted on his hips, staring at Amy without moving a muscle as she waits for the right time to attack. LONGDOGGER!! LONGDOGGER!! LONGDOGGER!! “He’s not here!” King says annoyed that fans chant for someone not even in the arena, that’s like chanting USA in a match between a Canadian and a guy from Japan. “It’s called “fan support” King, you may not recognize it since you haven’t ever received it” Ben says actually getting a shot in at the King. At first the chant doesn’t phase Kevin but as it goes on he shakes his head in disgust and raises the “one finger salute” to the crowd. That’s the opening Amy was looking for, she races in the moment Kevin takes his attention away from her, but it seems that it was just a ploy as Coyote’s left hand swiftly and with force clips Amy on the jaw. *POW!* The blow takes Amy totally by surprise and drops her straight on her back as Kevin scores the first blow of the match. Being quick to follow up on the surprise blow Kevin drops to his knees and lands a barrage of gut shots to Amy while she’s still on the ground. “Coyote has his work cut out for him tonight if he’s going to survive against 2 opponents, he really needs to keep Amy away from Bruce and essentially turn it into a 1 on 1 match” King says providing his trademark “amazing insight” “That’s what a smart, seasoned pro would do” Ben agrees “You saying Kevin isn’t smart?” “I’m saying he’s a rookie King, I’m saying that he wasn’t prepared for a 2 on 1 match tonight” Ben replies making a good point for once in his career. When Amy sits up Coyote quickly takes her down once more with a low flying clothesline that Kevin rolls through and onto his knees. With one hand holding on to Amy’s hair Coyote quickly sends a barrage of blows to the head and neck of the Punk Rock Princess. “He’s going to make Amy regret cheating her way to a win on Storm” King says “She didn’t cheat King” “Oh don’t even try that! I was there, I clearly saw her kick Coyote in the Fallopian tubes” King states revealing that he is indeed the master of anatomy. Coyote keeps his opponent grounded with a couple of more blows to the head before he gets back up to his feet. Kevin gets in position and then aims the point of his elbow straight at Amy’s face and drops forward. “NOTHING BUT CANVAS!!” Ben yells out as Amy manages to roll about 5 inches to the right and thus avoid the elbow to the face. Bruce stretches his arm out as far as it can go as Amy slowly starts to crawl over towards her corner hoping to tag out. At first Coyote is focused on his hurt elbow but when he sees that Amy is close to tagging out he tries his best to ignore the pain and grabs Amy by her pink and black Van to stop her progress. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Coyote manages to stop Amy from tagging out and drags her towards the center of the ring by the feet. Amy flips over on her back and then kicks upwards hard striking Kevin on the jaw with her foot. Stephens gets back to her feet and scowls at Coyote as she looks like she’s FED UP with the whole thing and lets loose with a headbutt. *BONK!* The Nottingham Lager Lass quickly fires off another couple of headbutts that sends Coyote into the ropes. When Coyote staggers back out from the ropes Amy quickly takes him down with a Thesz press and then a series of punches to the side of the head of her rookie opponent. Let’s go A-my!! *clap*clap*clap* After landing 7-8 punches in succession Amy gets up and then looks over at Bruce who’s calling for a tag. The crowd may not want a tag but it seems that Amy is more willing than the crowd as she walks over towards Bruce. But before she can get a tag in Coyote demonstrates just how tough he is by getting to his feet and then kicking Amy in the lower back. “OH RIGHT IN THE OVARIES!! That’s like a low blow on guys!” Ben says as if he needed to explain what the ovaries are. Amy clutches her back in sheer agony as Coyote just grins and struts. “That’s right Kevin, take it to her like she was a man!” King shouts as Kevin runs towards his opponent. Amy hopes to catch Kevin mid attack with a kick to the mid section but Coyote shows instincts way beyond his rookie experience and manages to trap her foot in mid air. Amy jumps a few times on one leg as she balances and tries to hit Kevin but not being able to connect. Then she jumps up in the air and tries to kick Coyote with her other leg, but once again Coyote anticipates the move and grabs her OTHER foot as well dropping her face first straight to the mat. “LONGDOGGER DENIAL!!” Hardy bellows out as he’s surprise by Coyote’s use of the move. “It’s Coyote’s Denial now, he did it much better than Pete ever could” The move drives Amy face first into the mat without her being able to put up her hands for protection. Kevin laughs as he taps the side of his head, then suddenly he flips backwards over the top rope to the floor and walks over to where King and Ben are sitting. “HE CALLED YOU AN ASSHOLE!!” King states as he points at Ben “I guess my dear old “Daddy” isn’t here?” Kevin says as he gets up in Ben’s face “So why don’t you pass this one on to him!” And with that Kevin slaps Hardy across the face with enough force to knock the temporary commentator off his chair and to the floor. LONGDOGGER!! LONGDOGGER!! LONGDOGGER!! “BWAAAAAAAAAAAA HA, HA, HA, HA, HA! Kevin – you’re my new hero” King says as he high fives Coyote in a sign of total impartiality. Coyote rolls back in the ring at the moment where Amy finally gets back to her feet and groggily looks for Bruce and the tag. Coyote races across the ring hoping to intercept Amy before she tags in Bruce. Let’s go A-my!! *clap*clap*clap!* Just about a foot and a half away Let’s go A-my!! *clap*clap*clap!* Less than a foot now Let’s go A-my!! *clap*clap*clap!* Mere inches from Bruce’s outstretched hand “SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!” King yells out as Coyote drives his shoulder into Amy’s mid section lifting the Punk Rock Princess into the air before he drives her to the canvas out of Bruce’s reach. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Kevin gets to his feet with the biggest, most arrogant smirk you can imagine knowing that he’s in full control of the match right now. The rookie just stands back and allows Amy to slowly pull herself back to her feet, he’s actually asking for her to get back up as he positions himself behind her. “Oh I know what’s coming now” King says “… of a bitch” Ben says as he finally got his headset back on “Ah he didn’t get the job done, dang” Coyote spins Amy around the second she’s back on her feet and just totally LEVELS her with a stiff clothesline that drives Amy into the ground with Kevin on top in the perfect position for a pinfall “Is the girl man enough to take the Coyote Takedown?” King asks as Izzy Slappowitch drops to his knees. ONE!! “Oh she’s man eno… eeerm” Ben says before he catches on to what he’s about to say. TWO!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! THR-FOOTONTHEROPE!! “That bastard Bruce pulled her foot up on the rope” Ben yells out in anger as Bruce quite rightly DID pull Amy’s foot up on the bottom rope. He even makes a big production deal out of calling Izzy’s attention to it so that it breaks the count before Coyote can win the match. Once Bruce is back in his corner he’s confronted by an enraged Coyote who curses and yells at Bruce for the cheap ploy. “Oh go back to beating up your daddy” Bruce says. “At least I know who my father is” Coyote spits out “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH BURN!!” Hardy adds as he tries to be young with the young but misses by like 15 years. That comment seems to have pissed Bruce off as he steps one leg over the rope ready to enter the ring when Slappowitch step between the two to break up the fight. After a staredown between the two Coyote turns his attention back to his opponent, something he should have done earlier though as Amy is back on her feet and leaps forward towards Bruce with her hand outstretched. Coyote catches her with a shoulder to the midsection as she’s mid air but he’s just a inch too close to Bruce’ corner and the two manage to touch each other. “Coyote’s in DEEP SHIT” Ben says sounding like that’s completely alright with him. “Bruce is totally fresh while Coyote has already had quite a hard fought match with Amy” King says “He made a rookie mistake and now he’s paying for it.” To show that he’s not about to make another rookie mistake Kevin backs away from Bruce and Amy’s corner so that they cannot execute a double team move on him in the 5 seconds they have to trade places. Instead he just stands back and watches as Bruce steps over the top rope into the ring and rubs his hands in anticipation. “You think he wishes he hadn’t pissed Bruce off now?” Ben asks. “No – Coyote doesn’t strike me as a man who regrets anything he does” Bruce approaches his opponent and goes for a collar and elbow tie up, but Coyote ducks under his opponent’s massive arms and strikes Bruce in the mid section with a knee instead. Bruce quickly shakes the blow off and turns around to face Coyote once more. Once he turns around he’s greeted with a drop kick to the chest that sends the big man backwards into the corner. Coyote takes a moment to celebrate the move only to be attacked by Bruce as the big man comes blasting out of the corner going for a lariat. “Man I thought Bruce was going to take his head off, but Kevin spun that into a beautiful drop toe hold” Ben says almost admiring Coyote for a second. “I knew you were a Coyote fan deep down Ben” “AM NOT!” “Yeah you are, he’s the reason you’re out here in the first place – admit it you’ve got little pictures of him all over your wall” With Bruce down on his stomach Kevin is quick to strike with a couple of elbows aimed at Bruce’s left ear, the same ear that took the damage in the Japanese Deathmatch. After staggering Bruce a bit with the elbow shots Coyote gets back to his feet, bounces off the ropes and then lands a double stop right across Bruce’s shoulders *STOMP!!* “You’ve got to admit that he’s doing pretty well in a 2 on 1 situation King” Ben says. “Well his partner was next to useless anyways, It’s not a “smashy-smashy” match so what can Insane Luchador really do?” King says dismissing the importance of Coyote’s partner. “Are you serious? If Luchador would have been ineffectual what about Bruce? That’s his whole STYLE!” says Ben angrily. Coyote is quickly back on his feet and drags Bruce up by the hair as well. Coyote swiftly bounces off the ropes and leaps at Bruce vertically to take him down with a Thez Press type of move, but the big man manages to wrap his arms around Kevins’ waist and then stagger backwards for a few steps until he’s in his own corner. “Oh trouble” is all King can say And he’s quite right as Amy leaps up and grabs Coyote by the hair and then both members of Drunk and Disorderly drop Coyote throat first on the top rope. Amy quickly tags herself in after the double team move and pulls Coyote back to his feet into a front face lock. “Oh I love to see this in slow motion… really get a good view of the Double D…. DT” Ben says dreaming of something other than a wrestling match right now. “Pervert” King says sending the “Irony Meter” to 11. Amy quickly whips her whole body backwards driving the top of Coyote’s skull into the canvas to quite a pop. After quickly and discreetly checking that everything is still where it’s supposed to be Amy climbs up on the second rope and leaps off for a leg drop straight across Kevin’s chest. “Now we’re seeing the 2 on 1 advantage at work” Ben says “It was only a matter of time since Luchador abandoned his partner” King states “ABANDONED?” Ben screams as his face turns red “I’m glad to hear you agree with me Ben” King just says calmly as Ben blows a gasket. Amy quickly reaches over and tags in Bruce, giving them yet another chance to double team Kevin Coyote. Bruce places Coyote’s head between his legs and pulls him up into a pile driver position while Amy climbs up on the second rope, just as Slappowitch starts the 5 count. By the count of 3 Amy leaps off the 2nd rope, grabs Kevin’s feet and spikes the piledriver as Bruce sits backwards. A split second later Amy rolls out under the bottom rope before the 5 count. “They’ve been working on that?” King says all surprised “I thought they were busy drinking” “Coyote just isn’t able to fight off the relentless onslaught of both Bruce and Amy, he’s tried, he’s had his moments but this is a 2 on 1 situation” Ben points out because NO ONE at home had realized it until now. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! “What happened?? What happened?” King says all confused as none of the action in the ring really warranted such a huge reaction from the crowd. “Look down the aisle” Hardy says The cameras quickly turn towards the entrance where Insane Luchador is making his way towards the ring, his head is bandaged up, he's wearing a plastic neck collar, his clothes are covered in blood and one of the EMTs is trying to stop him from going but IL just shoves him out of the way and makes his way to the ring as he tears the collar off in anger. IL!! IL!! IL!! IL!! ”I don’t believe it!!” King states as he and most of the crowd in the arena are surprised to see Insane Luchador returning to the match after being brutalized by Bruce and Wayne Blank. “I do! This guy is triple tough, once he sets his sights on you there is no stopping him” Ben says as IL walks up the steps and stands in his corner, arm outstretched to give Coyote the chance to tag in. Bruce had not seen Luchador come to the ring and is shocked when he turns around and sees the bandaged Extremist on the apron, so shocked that he totally forgets that he’s in the midst of a match with Kevin Coyote and lets him tag in IL without doing anything about it. FUCK HIM UP!! FUCK HIM UP!! FUCK HIM UP!! The crowd comes completely unhinged as IL steps into the ring with Bruce Blank. Blank backs off wanting nothing to do with IL on a fair, 1-on-1 basis, while Rickmen stalks his opponent with a look in his eyes that clearly shows that “Insane” is the right nickname for Andrew Rickmen. “Oh Bruce done messed up! He thought he had taken him out before the match” Ben says with excitement as Bruce and IL are finally in the same ring at the same time together. “This isn’t going to be pretty” King boldy predicts. Bruce shakes his head and puts up his hands as he backs away from Insane Luchador, but IL doesn’t care and quickly leaps onto Bruce, wraps his left arm around Bruce’s neck and then lets his right hand hail down over Bruce’s face in an unmerciless storm of fists. It doesn’t take long to drive Bruce back into the corner where IL is able to shift his weight and stand on the ropes instead of having Bruce basically carry his weight and then attacks with BOTH fists. “Oh come on now!! This is supposed to be a normal match” King laments. “He has it coming, that and so much more King” Ben states. “Oh so that makes it alright then? I say Pete had it coming too – so it’s okay what Coyote did right?” King sputters. The referee half-heartedly begins a five count as Insane Luchador keeps blasting away at the side of Bruce’s face. One Two!! But before he gets to three Coyote runs over near where Bruce and IL are to distract the referee and break the count – after all it’s to his advantage if Insane Luchador beats Bruce into a bloody pulp. IL!! IL!! IL!! IL!! Rickmen bends over and actually BITES Bruce on the left ear and pretty soon after the side of Bruce’s face turns red with blood. “OH COME ON!!” King yells out “Funny you didn’t complain earlier when Bruce and Wayne attacked Insane Luchador” Ben says “Funny *wah-wah-wah* earlier” King says mocking the way Ben speaks. Bruce manages to wedge a hand in between himself and Insane Luchador and then pushes back with all his might sending IL flying across the ring ass over elbow. The second Bruce starts to move in the direction of his partner the enraged Luchador springs back to his feet, leaps at Bruce once more, this time twisting his whole body as he kicks off against the turnbuckle and manages to take the big man down with a thunderous Tornado DDT *WHAM!!* IL!! IL!! IL!! IL!! Luchador doesn’t even bother with a cover but instead strikes Bruce square in the throat with an elbow drop to deprive Bruce of any air. Seconds later Luchador grabs Bruce by the hair, drags him to his feet and then grabs hold of the King of Pain’s dirty mullet with BOTH hands. “Hey ref the hair, the hair!” King complains. But before the ref can count Insane Luchador uses both handfuls of hair to hip toss / throw Bruce to the mat. “See he let go right away, don’t be such a whiner” Ben replies relishing the opportunity to get a shot it at King. Bruce lands on his stomach and quickly uses the position to slide backwards on his knees as he pushes with his hands. Unfortunately for the big man he isn’t quite aware of just where he is in the ring and ends up sliding straight into the ringpost with one leg on each side instead of escaping the ring as he had planned. “He’s trapped – the idiot trapped himself” Ben says getting bolder in his commentary as he believes that Bruce can’t hear him right now. Insane Luchador shakes with rage as he stands in the middle of the ring, his entire body trembles with adrenaline as the crowd chants his name. “If you look at Insane Luchador and Bruce you’d think this was a Hardcore match, they’re both bleeding all over the place” King says as Insane Luchador’s stitches have popped and he’s bleeding from his forehead once again. “Can you imagine what would happen if there were no rules?” Ben asks “Sheer carnage” Insane Luchador reacts before Bruce can crawl away from the ring post and lands a stiff sliding drop kick right to the face of the trapped and helpless Blank. *BLAM!!* IL!! IL!! IL!! IL!! Bruce writhes in pain both from the kick to the face but also from his groin being pushed into the ring post AGAIN. Insane Luchador has rolled back onto his knees after the kick to Bruce’s face and is admiring his handy work as a down right depraved smile creeps onto his blood covered face. Luchador slowly gets back to his feet as Bruce manages to drag himself out of the corner thus bringing his private parts back in “safe” territory. “This… “ is all Ben can say as the brutality has stunned him “Wise words Ben” King sniggers. Insane Luchador turns to the crowd and raises both hands in the air to draw a monster reaction from all the fans in St. Paul. With his back momentarily turned he doesn’t see that Bruce manages to pull his cowboy boot off and then holds it heel up ready to strike at Insane Luchador when the opportunity arises. Once Bruce gets to his knees Insane Luchador turns around to face his opponent once more. When he gets closer Bruce grips the boot tightly and prepares to swing it Only to have Coyote reach in and grab Bruce’s arm to stop it before Bruce can swing his steel tipped cowboy boot. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! “Are they cheering for Coyote?” Ben says in disbelief? “Yes cause Minnesota is totally “Anti-Longdogger”” King says not bothering to explain to Hardy that they probably just popped because Bruce’s cheating attempt was foiled. Insane Luchador runs across the ring and plants a right foot right across Bruce’s cheek knocking the big man down once more. After the kick Kevin leaps into the ring, kicks the loose cowboy boot away and then starts to attack the Ultraviolent champion. “I guess Coyote just couldn’t stand being on the apron any more” Ben surmises. “Or he objected to Bruce’s foot odor and wants to do something about it” With both Luchador and Coyote in the ring Amy quickly steps through the ropes as well and joins in the action, why should they have all the fun after all? It doesn’t take long for the match to degenerate into an all out brawl between the four competitors and the referee really can’t do much other than just stand by and watch. “It looks like Slappowitch just gave up on keeping them separate” King says as Slappowitch just stands back and looks like he wants no part of it. “He’s giving them some leeway King, it’s within the rules” Ben says revealing that once again he’s got no clue what he’s talking about. Amy and Coyote exchange lefts and rights with such speed that it’s hard to keep up with the flailing fists. Meanwhile Insane Luchador has Bruce in the ropes and takes him over the top as he uses his own body to drive the big man over the top rope with a clothesline. Luchador ends up on the apron while Bruce tumbles all the way to the floor only to be struck by a Luchador elbow drop seconds later. IL gets back to his feet and sees Excalibur on the floor where he dropped it before the match. His taped up hand wraps around the handle as the crowd explodes in cheers FUCK HIM UP!! FUCK HIM UP!! Luchador isn’t one to disappoint the crowd as he swings the lighttube bundle over his head bringing it down across Bruce’s neck with a mighty *KRESSSSH!!* *DING!*DING!*DING!*DING!* Insane Luchador looks up in surprise as the bell rings, apparently Slappowitch caught the action on the outside and has called for the bell. Wayne Blank comes racing out from the back before Insane Luchador can do any more damage and quickly steps between IL and his brother as he brandishes his cattle prod in IL’s face “What just happened” Ben asks all confused. It’s especially confusing as Kevin Coyote and Amy Stephens are still fighting in the ring, rolling on the mat as they exchange fists like it was going out of fashion. “Ladies and gentlemen” Funyon starts up after Slappowitch has informed him of his decision “Referee Slappowitch has no choice but to disqualify Insane Luchador for the use of a foreign object” BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! “The winners of the match, DRUNK AND DIISOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORDERLY!!” It’s not a decision that sits well with the crowd, especially not the cheap way Bruce got the win. It doesn’t look like the win pleases Amy either as she finally stops battling with Coyote and just rolls out of the ring looking annoyed that a good fight was ended before she was done kicking ass. “Look at Wayne, he’s dragging Bruce to the back” Ben says as Wayne helps Bruce to the back while keeping Insane Luchador at bay. “I know it’s a cliché but this is FAR from over” King says “You know Bruce and Amy may have won but I don’t think anyone can say that Bruce came out of this looking like a winner” Ben states as IL raises the remains of his lighttube sword in the air to a HUGE response. “Oh just get the hell out of here Ben, Coyote is leaving the arena and I don’t have to put up with you for one more second.” King snaps at Ben.

”I ain’t no manager Bruce” Wayne complains (for the 50ieth time) as they get out of the truck. “Well no one is hiring you as a wrestler, we need some way to make it legal for you to be back stage and come to the ring with me” Bruce states as they begin to heard towards a building with the sign “State Athletic Committee” “But a manager? I ain’t no Mr. Fu-Jay!” Wayne whines. “Look at it this way, either you get a manager’s license or Janus and his security team declares open season on Wayne Blank – Do you want that?” Bruce asks. “So you’re afraid of Janus?” “Got nothing to do with Janus, I ain’t fraid of him or anyone else” Bruce says “You’re afraid of Rickmen” Wayne mutters “What’s that?” “Erm… “you’re ain’t fraid of no man” is what I said” Wayne quickly says to cover up. “So if you’re not afraid of him, why do this?” “What did daddy always say?” “I’m going for cigarettes?” Wayne says not sure where Bruce is going with this. “No dumbass! He said “Pick your battles” and that’s what I’m gonna do. We get you legally in the door and we don’t even have to think twice about Janus or his little security detail, we can focus on what’s important.” “YEAH!!... dinner right?” Wayne says with a smile *Sigh* “Just remember all those tapes we watched” Bruce says hoping to god that his brother is able to pass the test, it’d be the first test Wayne EVER passed. “Yeah, yeah I done seen them all: Heenan, Cornette, Hart, Fu-Jay and on and on – I got this bro, I mean how smart do you have to be to get a manager’s license?” Wayne says with all the confidence of a man who’s very confident. “Just go in there and take the test” Bruce says and points to the front door. “Alright, alright keep your britches on” Wayne says with a smirk, he’s got this handled. *** Ten Minutes later *** Wayne is in the examination room with the test booklet in front of him and 2 chewed up #2 pencils at the ready – not #1 or #3 or the much maligned #4, but good old “State approved” #2 “Alright gentlemen, open your booklets to page one – you have 1 hour to answer the 40 multiple choice questions” the exam supervisor says as he starts the clock. 40 questions?? Wayne didn’t think there’d be quite that many, he figured they’d ask him like 5 questions and he could fake them – this was not good at all he thought as he begins to panic while flipping through the page after page of questions. “Alright Wayne, calm down and do what you usually do when I doubt – FAKE IT!” He quietly says to himself as he grabs a pencil and turns to question number one. Scenario: You are the manager of the pretty successful tag-team known as the Hartfoundation but you see great things in this brother team from Quebec – what do you do? (1) Stick with the Hartfoundation, they deserve your loyalty (2) Release the Hartfoundation from their contracts before you talk to the other team (3) Sign a match where the winners get your services. (4) Sign the other team as well as the Hartfoundation, what do you care if the Harts are screwed over you get paid either way. Wayne sits there for like 10 minutes and just stares at the question in front of him, the pencil hovering over the paper. Then finally he closes his eyes and picks option 2 randomly. “Ah now that was easy” Question 2 Scenario: Ted Dibiase approaches you and wants to buy the contract for one member in your “Family”, a person who’s not been winning that much lately but could do well as Ted Dibiase’s slave. – What do you do? (1) Refuse. Family is thicker than cash (2) Ask. If the family member is okay with it then sell the contract (3) Give him away. He’s obviously not flourishing under your management, maybe a change of pace will help. (4) Sell him. The loser isn’t making you money otherwise, may as well make some cash on selling his contract. “Ah Crap” Wayne says out loud but is quickly shushed by everyone in the room. This would apparently be a VERY long day for Wayne. *** 90 minutes later *** Bruce has been pacing in the parking lot for the last 30 minutes or so, waiting for Wayne to come out and tell him his test score and hopefully bring his brand new manager’s license with him. When Wayne finally appears Bruce draws a sigh of relief, Wayne looks pretty pleased. “So you got the license?” “Yup sure do bro” Wayne says as he holds up a plastic card. “I’m sorry for doubting you Wayne, I wasn’t sure you’d pass the test” Bruce says with a smile. “I didn’t” Well that’s the end of that smile “I got 4 out of 40 right, I was close thought Bruce – real close, just 16 more and this here license would actually have had MY name on it” Wayne says as he hands the card over to Bruce. Bruce looks at the card, the picture sure isn’t Wayne and the name says “Juan Lopez Villalobos Jr.” “So you stole a license?” Bruce asks. “Yup, should have done that before I even took the dang test. Steve still does fake IDs and stuff right?” “Yeah” Bruce says “That’s quick thinking Wayne” “You know we should have done that in the first place, I don’t do well on tests” “Yeah I know Bro, why pass a test when you can cheat” Bruce says “That’s what mama taught me” Wayne says as he puts the stolen Manager’s License in his back pocket and heads for the truck. Well at least now Wayne APPEARS to be legally licensed as Bruce’s manager, and who really checks paperwork in wrestling? I mean that’s like expecting people to really retire in a “retirement match”. * Fade Out *

But... But.. But I like fireballs

I could see this working in the SWF - every match is a "Blindfold match" now if we can only blind William Hearford to introduce the gimmick... a Fireball perhaps?

If I'm not mistaken then HB is the European version of a #2 pencil

Looks like it's too late for that

I've got like 90% of everything Colliseum put out and I've never seen more than the clip job of that match

Yeah but does it really matter he was back in a month regardless. You could also build it up that he gave everything to take on the Warrior and took a huge chance and it did not pay off. I think it could have worked. Thanks. So he returns in an angle TOTALLY UNRELATED to the Warrior (who was gone) and then we're reminded that he was a HUMONGOUS idiot for putting his career on the line? And each time he's back in the ring the announces can go "You know he put everything on the line and lost... oh watch him kick ass!" Remind the fans that they totally renegged over the stipulation every time he's in the ring?? his "loss" doesn't seem so big when he's already back in the ring, it's just remind people that Savage had a 4 month vacation for "putting everything on the line" Your idea was supposed to HELP Savage right? No thanks

No on Impact Jarrett told him to do it. He wasn't actually told to go out and film Sting. I doubt he really stalked Sting, though. So what was he told to do by JJ? and well DUH he's not real life stalking Sting

http://www.yucubetoo.com/moves16.html Move 393 should give you the gist of it - A Villaño speciality

No, no, no I have it on good authority that his backstage pet name is "Layla"

And the Proxy brings it back "home" - BOO-YAH!!

No, no, no, no you got the angles mixed up Luchador was the one that was a dead corpse Blank isn't one... just yet

No on Impact Jarrett told him to do it.

the Perfect Storm kicking about in the shadows eh? I'm a big fan of your Sean Davis work so that's pretty cool The posibilities in that are intriguing And the fact that both characters have held the title I've later renamed *strokes chin* also interesting.

you know Longdogger is only what 38? it's not like he's older than most of the guys main eventing the WWE these days, so it's not totally unfeasable that he could return to the ring for a while. I know I'd personally mark the hell out love the promos *thumbs up*