Bruce Blank

You shut your face about a sport that's not only boring but usually attracts fans who thinks a fist to the face is a way of communications. did I mention it was boring? 22 guys and an inflated pig bladder they run around after nudge with their feet for lord knows how long yup boring

I've seen that comment/joke made more than a few times while I've been here but I guess it's one of those "you had to be here in 1872 when this guy said something funny about a banana" moments isn't it?

Oh dear God!! so many people, so very deluded, so very sad. but at least it's not Football (European version)

he's bald like Austin... now he walks like Austin? all kidding aside I'd love to know exactly what caused the blow up, so any vague rumors that we can blow totally out of proportion?

I can't believe Andre would do any matches after WrestleMania VII - I mean every time he was on WWF TV he was walking with 2 crutches and all just to make it to the ring. or was that a work? but for a guy who's body was falling apart he seemed to have been in a shitload of matches after I thought his active career was totally over.

Ultimo Guerrero might come in? SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!

More approriate names would be "belt warmer" or "Ronnie Garvin" (if you get the old school reference)

Curling is a full contact sport in the SWF *thumbs up*

well at least it's not Cricket so it's got that going for it and on a side note: Danes suck at the Winter Olympics so it's not that I "care" as such about the actual Olympics which is why I thought of the SWF version of the events

I used to love the old WWF ads they would run now and again (one starred Razor Ramon that always cracked me up) And with me being bored I whipped one up that plays off the winter olympics.

(Bruce has practically no background established other than what’s in his profile – so I figured I’d do a couple of flash backs to various points in Bruce’s wrestling career. After all he is a 16 (almost 17) year pro in the sport, so why hasn’t anyone really heard of him before joining the SWF? That and other stuff will be explained in these flashback promos, complete with “Commentary Track” and all) Chapter 1 The Beginning ”Did you know I’ve been in this business almost half my life now? Yup I started in 1989 when I was just 17 years old – had to lie about my age but no one really cared.” “1989 it was, Dallas, Texas. The world famous Sportatorium actually” “I’d been a farm hand on the Von Erich ranch over the summer and also learned a few things from Kevin instead of getting paid, money was tight with the Von Erich’s those days. The USWA had replaced WCCW and well they were not making much from the business.” “Anyways I was working as a farm hand when Jerry Jarrett saw me one day, now I was tall but man was I skinny back then, nothing like today. Anyways Jarrett saw me, found out I knew the basics and then hired me to work the next Sportatorum show” “It wasn’t even 50 bucks but it beat shoveling cow shit” “Or so I thought” There Bruce was, a kid of 17 entering the USWA locker room, well the low end locker room – no Jerry Lawler or Jeff Jarrett or Eric Embry here no sireeebob. Bruce got to change with Bubba Fangman, Jeff Gaylord and some blond dude who wouldn’t quit bitching – Steve something or other. “Erm Mr. Jarrett told me I he would meet me here” the young, insecure Bruce stutters as he looks at the others “Well Hell son why don’t you just sit down and take my spot, that’s what want anyway isn’t it?” the blonde said, obviously not happy with something – maybe it was his neon colored tights that were bothering him, maybe it was his already thinning hair. Bruce didn’t say anything he just waited for Mr. Jarrett. He hadn’t brought anything since he was actually told not to – Jerry Jarrett had a gimmick in mind for him and all. After 10 minutes or so Jarrett enters the locker room and totally ignores everyone else in there, I mean it was so obvious that the blonde fellar started to mutter something about “Chris never told me it’d be like this” “Hey Bruce you ready?” he says with a smile “Erm… sure” Bruce replies with all the confidence of a 17 year old skinny boy who really doesn’t have any confidence. “Alright now here is the plan. Do you know Kamala?” He asks. “The Ugandan Giant? Yeah I’ve seen him on TV” Bruce answers hoping he didn’t mean “Know” in the biblical sense. “Excellent, excellent. Well we’ve got him coming in for a run and well Lawler is keen to work with him but we can’t send him straight for the big guy now can we?” Jarrett says with all the sincerity of a used car salesman. “I.. I guess not” is all Bruce can think off. “So that’s where you come in kiddo – You’ll be Kamala’s first vic.. erm opponent before he chases after Lawler.” “Okay” “Well get excited boy! We’ve cooked up something really special for ya” Jarrett says as Bruce looks uncertain “Mr. Jarrett – I’ll do it, whatever it takes even if I have to shave my head bald or whatever” Steve says begging for something, ANYTHING to do “That’s nice …” Jarrett says and then turns away from the blonde and back to Bruce. “Now when I saw you I thought you’d be perfect for the part. I mean you’re tall, you’re skinny, you’re pretty pale and all – I think with a few modifications you fit the bill.” “What’s the gimmick?” “Oh it’s awesome! Jeff came up with it and I love it, that boy is going to be a world champ one day” Jarrett says The loudmouthed Steve has a hard time containing a snigger but manages to do so. “You will be “Reverse Kamala”” he says with a big smile. You could hear a pin drop in the room after Jerry Jarrett spoke. “Where he’s fat you’re skinny – where he’s dar.. erm.. bla.. erm African you’re white. Where he’s bald you’ve got lots of hair – See you’re like the total opposite of him” Jarrett explains as suddenly none of the other guys in the room really want to take Bruce’s spot any more. “So… that’s it? I’m just “Reverse Kamala” like that?” “Lord no son! First of all we’ll get you a loincloth that has the opposite colors of Kamalas and we’ll give you a … hmmm… we’ll give you a bow, that’s kinda the opposite of a spear isn’t it?” Jarrett says “Well actua… “ but that’s all Bruce gets to say as Jarrett wasn’t really soliciting opinions. “Of course you’ll have to paint half moons on your chest and a 6 pointed star over your belly button… and wear facepaint that’s white where Kamala’s is black and so on” he explains Ever word out of Jerry Jarrett’s mouth hits Bruce like a ton of bricks, it goes from bad, to worse, to worst but Bruce is just not the kind of guy to say no or stand up for himself. “And you’ll have to wrestle barefoot” “If I was opposite Kamala shouldn’t I wear shoes?” Bruce asks “Don’t be silly son – how would the fans know you were supposed to be the opposite of Kamala then?” Jarrett says demonstrating his grasp of logic and sanity. “No, no it’s all mapped out. I got your loincloth and your face paint right here – so get ready you’re opening the show in 3 hours” Jarrett says and hands Bruce a bag full of stuff before he leaves. Bruce sits down and looks in the cracked mirror –is this really what he wants to do? Some stupid gimmick cooked up by some stupid promoter because he thinks fans will care? Maybe he’d be better off not going into wrestling? “It’s just one gimmick” Bruce tells himself as he looks in the bag, after Kamala leaves Bruce will demand that he gets a less embarrassing gimmick – yeah that’s it, work the program with Kamala and THEN demand to be yourself. Bruce felt pretty good about that decision; he knew that soon he’d be allowed to be himself instead of some lame ass gimmick. ”Of course I was fooling myself back then. SIXTEEN years it took before I could escape the stupid and idiotic gimmicks cooked up by various promoters, but those stories are for later chapters” “And yes the gimmick bombed – no one got it, or well if they got it they didn’t care enough to even boo me. To make matters worse Kamala decided to not do the tour but go to Puerto Rico instead so I ended up working 3 shows as “Reverse Kamala” without a Kamala” “Brilliant!” “I wish I could say that was my worst moment in wrestling” “I wish I could say that, but that would be a lie” Next Time: With brisk business and a semi-strong Peso Bruce works south of the border in 1990

Or BOTH!! *shifty eyes*

no it became the "RoH title that was defended in England once" it mayb be "called" the World title but so are a lot of federation's main titles, cause it sounds awesome or whatever. RoH is just not on a level where it's a "World" title - hell they don't even tour all of the US. so it's a world title in name - but so was the XPW title. By my reckoning there have been 3 true world titles over the years: the NWA/WCW title, the AWA and the WWF title The WWE now have two titles which on some level would be considered equal and then still a world title for each brand (it's lame but it's still the best there is) The 4th title that someone could make a case for was the ECW title. But that's it - nothing else has the level or exposure or the touring schedule that would make it a true "world" title in my eyes.

Oh lord the AWA are now a "tribute federation" - next we'll have Hulk Hokum and Randy Salvage

really now Roh is a WORLD title? I'm sorry but what? the TNA title is the closet thing to a second world title there is after the WWE one, and even they just stay in Florida with occasional "guest apperances" Roh is too small time to be considered a "world" title - get real now

I got one responce to that rant: "Point to anyone in the WWE that are "Steve Austin or Rock" level stars" Once you get back to me on that one we'll talk further

intriguing - I like a good bit of mystery build, keeps me coming back for more

The Coyote angle is one of the things I plotted out so that it helped advance the angle but I didn’t push it in an angle the participants didn’t want to go. I intentionally kept it vague if Coyote actually did touch the floor instead of making it obvious that he either did or he didn’t. Mainly because the Coyote / Hearford stuff has been more backstage and between the two and all so I didn’t want Hearford to look like a total biased douce by kicking Coyote out if it was obvious to everyone in the arena that he didn’t touch the floor. On the other hand, if it was obvious Coyote touched the floor and then complained and bitched he’s just look like any other whining heel – but there is more to him and more to the angle. I think it worked better that way. And if you notice I make mention of Hearford being out at ringside even before Coyote enters, to establish his presence and not just have him suddenly appear - he had to be at ringside and actually see what was going on. Btw – my favorite spot has to be the spot where Landon eliminates Todd only to be flipped over the top rope by Max. Max turns around and celebrates eliminating Landon but Landon actually landed on Cortez and his feet never touched the ground – Maddix back in the ring and the Landon/Max fight is ON!

Ninja Ocelot huh? Vince McMahon: "That'll never work... but guess what WILL work? I see a.... Ninja Ocelot" Asskissers: "Oh that's a great idea Vince" *smooches* Vince: "Get Bruce, he'll do any old gimmick as long as he gets paid" ====================== and I'm sure my past will take Bruce through the WWE and loads of places no one has even heard off now I just have to figure out how Bruce went from skinny timid teen to a power house of an arrogant SOB I think beer was involved in the transformation

Well if we treat this like a Storm (and Raynor did post the card like he usually does for Storm) then the stuff should probably go to Zed/Realitycheck according to the schedule. But that’s just my guess

I was hoping it wouldn't end at the ClusterFuck cause that feud still has a lot of milage in it, I'm so glad to see it continue Ad thank you to those that have given me feedback on my match, it turned out better than I thought it would - which I think is a result of the build we gave it, my first "Blow off" match so to speak and it did add another dimension to the match. I did kick myself for forgetting one aspect of the Bruce/Akira feud though (I didn't remember until after I sent it in) but that was the first time Bruce had pinned Akira in the 9 matches we've had against each other, in Bruce's other victories it's been someone else that's been pinned or you didn't win by pinfall. But I forgot to play off that *d'oh* still happy with it though. It is a shame that JJJ isn't scheduled for a rematch cause that was a great match he wrote too.

the Bruce Blank segment has been updated from a "possibly" to a definitly *thumbs up*

Holy shit! We both made Matt Myers "Superman"

Well I am a Ghostie and I thought the entrance was PPV worthy I did try to push more than just my win with the write up as well - Wes & Ghost got logevity and loads of action and damn it I want to see them face off, so I wrote it into the match Spike & Zyon and also Landon & Max had their issues pushed through the match but I didn't impose any developments on them they may not be ready for. I had Spike be more business, more focused and opportunistic but I didn't take any steps towards turning him heel just upping the Spike/Zyon tension. I also put Lanon in the last three to tease the repeat posibility until the very last moment I even gave the 70s Dude and the Joshi Dragon something to settle in the ring one day I tried to work in all sorts of touches to give people something from the match - in fact I do believe I looked like the weakest CF winner ever as others did most of the work as I bled on myself . I think I hit a lot of good notes, but with the word limit I think the segment from #20 enters till we're down to 3 was a little rushed, could have paced it better.

Well I’ve got time so why not? Even though I haven’t been around the fed that long so most of my answers will be based on the last 6 months or so is as I haven’t read that much older stuff in detail. SWF Favorite Writer(s)? 3J and Muzz is a recent addition with the awesome Wes Davenport Favorite Match(es)? That’s a tough one as very few stand out as something I remember 2-3 months down the line – but ClusterFuck 06 is definitely one of them! Favorite Promo(s)? Crimson Skull’s early work, Wes’s pre-debut shenanigans Favorite Character(s)? Janus, Crimson Skull, Wes and Ghost Machine V2.0 Favorite Spot(s)? GHOSTING UP!! Favorite Move Names? Erm – I dunno Favorite Stipulation(s)? Anything that takes the match out of the arena (Dust 2 Dust, Hide & Seek etc) Least Favorite Stipulation(s)? I’d hate to ever have to do a submission oriented type of match Favorite Match(es) and Promo(s) (Written by you)? The Dust 2 Dust match (Yes I lost but I still think it was my best work shame Tom didn’t but then again I did face Janus) FAO Schwartz Brawl Promos: Comedy: The Chop Block of DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! Serious: “I didn’t do it” after Bruce invades Lockdown Dream Matches? For me? Bruce Vs IL, Bruce Vs Dace Knight, Bruce Vs ELM, Bruce Vs Va’aiga Dream Angles? That’s hard to say but some times being a “lone wolf” in the SWF ain’t all it’s cracked up to be Funny Moment(s)? the original Calvinball match, hasn’t been surpassed yet Fondest Memories? Haven’t been here long enough for it to be “memories” just yet Any Regrets? Not always shutting up when I should have I've became most friendly with...? the man behind Akira’s mask Wrestling Favorite Federation? The WWE – when they’re good they’re really good, when they’re bad they’re REALLY bad – usually they’re in between so I hang in there and hope for more good than bad Favorite Worker? Eddy Guerrero no doubt! And Old School Road Warriors!! Oh and Bret Hart Least Favorite Worker? Jeff Jarrett (from the USWA to “Country Dork” the NWA angle to him being the kingpin of TNA – blech) Favorite Match(es)? Royal Rumbles (92 stands out as the best of them) Favorite Stipulation? “Come as you are” street fights – especially the Chicago Streetfights of Road Warrior fame Dream Matches? Eddy Guerrero Vs Bret Hart. Hulk Hogan Vs Bret Hart. The Rod Warriors in their prime Vs Demolition in their prime If I worked for a company it'd be... a disaster My style of wrestling would be... clueless Face or heel? Yes Dream Matches (that includes you)? Oh lord – more like Nightmare matches Personal Name? Martin Age? 32 Single? Married Biggest Turn On? Intelligent women Biggest Turn Off? Plastic bimbo sluts Religious? In a way, not organized “go to church” religious though Favorite book(s)? The Stand – Stephen King, by far and above anything else Favorite movie(s)? Batman Begins, Space Balls, Star Wars (original) Favorite actor/actress? Erm… let’s go with Christian Bale, yeah why not Favorite bands? I dunno really, I’m musically illiterate Favorite song(s)? Sweet Home Alabama (Living the gimmick) Most Recent Accomplishment? Hmmm does an awesome performance review at work count? No? well shit Most Recent Failure? Oh lord – it usually includes what I choose to wear to work My biggest flaw... that I just can’t shut up at times I like my... Wrestling tape collection? No? erm… hell I dunno Future Goal(s)? well I got the job, I got the wife – but I’d like to live in the US one day Do you write outside the SWF (if so, what do you write)? I do, but it’s all in the same vein as it’s in Feuding feds. Heroes? My dad – never had a day where he didn’t have a job, always treated my mom like a queen. I would love to meet... I dunno Hardest moment of my life... leaving my family for a year Greatest moment of my life... getting married Would you want to be famous? Not really no Favorite swear word? Shit (in a southern drawn out, slow kinda way - shieeeeeeeeeeeeeet) Favorite food? Steak! God made us carnevors and I’m always up for voring some carne What would you want God to say if you want to Heaven? “Here are a couple of tickets to Eddy Vs Owen” What would you want the Devil to say if you were in Hell? “What’s the matter little fellar?”