Bruce Blank

Can't make it easier than that I guess

This just in Mexico City is in the United States so not only can't they book - they don't know geography either LOL

Oh lord bad ideas?? yup I had an idea of an old vet travelling with his estranged 15-16 year old teen age son. THe old man was a face, a nice guy but his son was a total and utter asshole who was always starting shit and then ran to his old man and had him finish it for him. My favorite that I ALMOST went with here was the son of a very high up "Legitemate businessman" *wink*wink* who just didn't have the gene for crime - he was kind of an embarrasment to dad so Dad allows him to follow his dream of wrestling, but he has 2 old crusty vets on his payroll and they're ordered to help him out - he'd be a HORRIBLE wrestler in the ring, but enthusiastic and all faceish, what he doesn't know is that his trainers usually helped him win - either by threatening the opponents to take a dive or spike their drinks so they'd get sick and other underhanded tricks. "Mizark Ice" A.K.A. Mark Cortizone... I was THIS close || to using him

What's King and Pete dressed like for this show?

Nope he's better looking than Dace as for D@mnation in a box - no it's not - but then again it's not a "rubber chicken on a pole" match or a "Loser must wear eyeliner and black nailpolish" match either, very observant *thumbs up* but it will out horrify D@mnation in a box MUA HA HA HA HA

The shot pans over the crowd at the Fargo Dome as SWF Lockdown returns from another commercial break. The fans are fired up, eagerly looking forward to the main event where El Luchadore takes on Todd Cortez and other exciting matches yet to come. But the excitement quickly turns to boos and hostility as 'Don't Ask Me No Questions' kicks in, hailing the arrival of the one and only Trailerpark Messiah. "What is Bruce Blank doing, King? He doesn't have a match scheduled!" Pete queries, looking towards his announcing partner. "You know damn well he doesn't, Pete. He's not allowed to compete on Lockdown right now. Apparently his style isn't Family Friendly." The Gambling Man's tone of voice indicating just whose side he's on in THAT argument, as Bruce steps through the curtains and into the arena. The crowd takes no time in lifting the roof with their derogatory chants, which brings into question how the show can be entirely Family Friendly if they can diss the superstars. "WHITEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TRASH! WHITEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TRASH!" Bruce's blood splattered jeans have been replaced with a regular pair of black, clean jeans to go with the family friendly image. Along with this, the barbwire-wrapped Ultra Violent Title has been left in the back too, yet another move to push the show as something the whole family can see, as Bruce swaggers calmly towards the ring. "It's a shame they didn't totally bar him from the building, King." "Bar? That's positively un-American, Pete. Don't make me call Homeland Security on you." King answers. "Now hush up, Bruce is obviously here to speak his mind." The self-proclaimed Ultra Violent Champion steps into the ring and then holds out his right hand, demanding that Funyon hand over the microphone. The ring announcer does so as the crowd continues to let him have it with the resounding 'White Trash' chant, that doesn't seem to phase him one bit. "WHAT UP BISMARK!" is the first thing out of his mouth, causing the crowd to boo him loudly and heartily. "Now if you'll all just put your fingers back up your noses and sit down we can get down to bidness" Bruce looks ready to continue his little speech, but has to stop as the crowd boos him some more for stealing Longdogger Pete's traditional way of pronouncing the word 'business'. After a few more moments Bruce finally puts the microphone back up to his mouth, pacing back and forth across the ring in thought. "Alright now, bidness! You are looking at the man that the SWF fears. A man who's not been allowed to compete on Lockdown – it would seem that I'm not 'suitable' for this show!" Bruce pauses, mockingly making the quotation marks for 'suitable' in the air before continuing. "A man who's devised the Dust 2 Dust challenge... yet hasn't found ANYONE to take up the gauntlet I have thrown down!" The crowd doesn't like that. But Bruce simply laughs out loud and waits for their chanting to die down before continuing his speech, having stopped his pacing to gesture at the crowd as he continues. "Oh, you know it's true! None of these midgets or monkeys can compete with me in the Hardcore environment! Absolutely no-one can bring the pain like I do! I mean, you're looking at the guy that's managed climb on top of the most ultra violent mountain in the SWF - and stay there! Supposed tough guys like Dace Night aren't even CLOSE to doing what I've been able to do in and out of the ring." "Listen to this man, King, can you believe a word he's saying?" Pete shakes his head. "Sure I can!" King smiles. "He might be white trash, but he's actually telling the truth for once!" As the two commentators return their eyes to the ring where Bruce is continuing his diatribe, the crowd has mostly gone quiet, as if focusing all their animosity and hatred into the ring will kill Blank where he stands. Unfortunately for them it's not working, and so they start up a resounding chant of 'White Trash' once more that the Trailerpark Messiah completely ignores as he continues his speech. "Even if there's no place for such a thing on this show, it's still a fact! Supposed greats like the Insane Luchador were never able to hold on to the belt as long as I have. Even the 'Straight Edge Sensation' Toxxic can't hold a candle to what I've been able to achieve in the field of violence and destruction. The fact of the matter is – I AM THE MOST ULTRAVIOLENT COMPETITOR THE SWF HAS EVER SEEN!" The lights go out. For a few moments there is nothing but silence and the confused hum of the crowd, as a single spotlight illuminates the ring and the Ultraviolent One before swinging away to pan across the crowd as if searching for something. And after a long pause, the long and wailing sound of a siren echoes from the speakers, and the crowd holds its breath in suspense as a phrase flashes up on the Smarktron, a phrase not seen in quite some time. [HEIGHT: 7'2] "That's..." Pete begins speaking. [WEIGHT: 360lbs] "Oh... hell." King adds as the words turn a blazing red. [sTATUS: RELEASED!] The opening chorus of Fear Factory's "Resurrection" blazes out across the speakers, bringing the crowd to its feet with a thunderous roar of surprise! As the beats of the song echo around the arena, the fans seem all too excited to see Bruce Blank get what's coming to him. Though the spotlight never leaves the curtain, no one emerges and the song peters out, leaving the crowd feeling disappointed as they sit back in their seats. In the ring, the confused Blank just smiles and shakes his head at the attempted shock tactic and opens his mouth to address the crowd, who rise again with a second roar as the lights come back on, revealing the titan standing directly behind the Trailerpark Messiah! The long white trenchcoat looks like it hasn't missed a day of service. The hair is black, streaked with white, and the eyes are a deep and ominous red. But strangely enough, the Hell Machine lifts his hand and waves to the crowd, grinning that ominous grin as Blank finally turns around and jumps at the huge figure that seems to have materialised from the air. Bringing a microphone up from his coat, the giant Australian's voice is soft and full of menace. "Ultraviolence?" he asks quietly. "You come into this ring, and speak of ultraviolence? You have no idea of ultraviolence, Bruce Blank... no matter what you've done. Ask Spike Jenkins about ultraviolence, when Dace Night drove a weedwhacker into his abdomen. Or Toxxic, after Aecas put him through a table with a Grave Digger. Ask the many bodies that felt the Equaliser's sting about ultraviolence. Next to men like us, you are NOTHING." "Hold on..." Blank grins. "You're that whackjob with the split personality, ain't you? Am I meant to be impressed, big white and loony? I'm just plain better than your friends, and better than YOU!" here he jabs a finger into the chest of the Australian. "Just see how long I've held this belt, and what I've done to keep it! Stop wasting my time, old man... if you want to prove it, you can pry this belt from my cold dead fingers." "..." Janus seems to consider this as Blank turns his back. "Very well... I'll stop wasting your time..." "Strong words from both the champion AND... of all people... Janus!" Pete calls. "Who would have expected THIS sort of appearance!?" "This won't end well, I'd bet my reputation on it." King shakes his head. Blank just nods his head and turns around to address the seven footer once more, only to see the white trenchcoat fall to the floor along with the microphone, and a pair of arms pinning his own limbs against his torso as Janus snatches the Ultra Violent Champion up into the Hell Crush! The crowd roars with approval as Bruce squirms and growls in pain, trying to wriggle his arms free, opening his eyes to stare into the bright red orbs of the monster crushing his ribcage. "Ashes to ashes..." the giant snarls. "Dust to dust..." The Trailerpark Messiah lets out a cry of relief as he's dropped to the mat, where he catches his breath. A thick boot lands on his chest as Janus scoops up the microphone and pins Blank under his foot momentarily, leaning over to stare down at him once more. The crowd holds their breath as the Hell Machine rolls his head from side to side and finally speaks. "You wanted a challenge, Bruce Blank!?" he roars into the Ultra Violent Champion's face. "Consider your proposal accepted! I'm going to tear you apart piece by piece, just like everyone wants to see! And when I'm done, I don't care if you keep the title or not, but you will know your place! You are just a drop in the ocean compared to the gallons of blood I and others have shed! You will know ultraviolence when it meets you at Ashes to Ashes!" Breathing heavily, a snarl etched on his face, the Hell Machine spikes the microphone into the canvas and picks up his coat, wrapping it around his shoulders as the fans cheer themselves ragged for the monster Australian. Once more the sound of Resurrection thunders over the speakers, and the giant drops and rolls out of the ring, stalking down the aisle and completely ignoring the fans cheering his name or reaching out to pat him on the arm or shoulder. "An incredible encounter here on Lockdown!" Pete shills. "The Hell Machine comes back from retirement to tell Bruce Blank that he's NOT as bad as he thinks, and accepts his proposal for Ashes to Ashes!" "Blank's mean, Blank's cruel, Blank's nasty, but he might've met his match in that man." King frowns, knowing Janus' reputation. "At least the buy rates are up now!" "I wouldn't be surprised if Janus was penalised for his sudden attack, King, this IS Family Friendly Lockdown after all..." "Is he even on the roster?" the Gambling Man asks curiously as the camera swings back to the ring. In the middle of the ring, the Trailerpark Messiah has pulled himself back into a sitting position. Pain radiates through his body as he hears the sound of Fear Factory in the air and watches the lumbering Australian monster disappear down the aisle. One could almost see the glint in his eyes as he rolls to the floor himself, breathing heavily as the cameras focus on how he holds his ribs. He doesn't need to speak as we begin to fade to black, as the look of both worry and expectation vie for dominance on his face. Someone would DEFINITELY be filling a grave come Ashes to Ashes. And Bruce wasn't so sure he'd be the victor anymore...

Yep there is 5 grades before black - 5 grades of black that you can earn

"Alright, alright enough with the Sales pitch Jerry I'll take him" Quote: Vincent K. McMahon

For those thinking this is a "Spike Vs Flesher" deal where he's just here to put me over - it's not it's going to be a competitive match (I'll even post my match in the losers thread )

Awesome costume!! Southern Gentlman... it's a stretch for Bruce but frankly my dear... I don't give a damn *watches as all of SWF groans in unison* Duct tape - there is your answer Spike comes out with his lower abdomen all duct taped up DDP "Internal injuries" style mark out city!

Spike will now have to challenge for the title with his guts in a zip-loc bag that'll be a sight to behold And I guess sending a promo to Chuck didn't work out for me damn! so I'll post it on the side and you can all just pretend it happened between a match before or after a Tag-Team skit you don't want to miss it I tells ya.

hmm I hope they at least compensate by moving Smarkdown back too then

There is a place called "Loveland" in Colorado?? dang and from one newbie to another - welcome, most of us don't bite

4. Keep the owner and his daughter off-air. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Now to be fair if Jeff's hair gets just a little bit longer he could be mistaken for Jerry's daughter instead of son as for this segment?

Location: Craggy Island Parochial house. Time: Late evening Weather: a lovely autumn rain storm that’s been going on for (checks watch) 7 months now. The fever: Travel fever!! Father Ted is standing by the window of the living room of the parochial house, staring out at the rain, the dark unrelenting rain, that’s not relented for 7 whole months now, which is why it’s called unrelenting “I can’t wait to get the feck out of here” Father Ted utters as he pulls the curtains shut. In the background Father Dougal McGuire enters the room wearing a cork belt, inflatable water wings, swimming flippers, a diving mask and snorkel. *FLAP*FLAP*FLAP* “Ah hello Dougal, ready for the trip?” Father Ted asks when he sees the ridiculous outfit the younger priest is wearing *mumbles* “No, no Dougal you have to take the snorkel out when you want to talk to me” Ted says as Dougal just mumbles something indistinguishable. Dougal quickly removes the snorkel. “I guess only fish can understand you when you talk like that eh Ted?” Father Dougal says in his simpleton ways. “Are you ready to go Dougal?” Ted Asks again ”Go?? Where are we going?” Dougal asks as a confused look creeps over his face. “We’re going to American Dougal” Ted reminds him. “Really? America?? OOH Ted that sounds really excellent – when did you decide this?” Dougal asks. “I told you the other day, and the day after that – I’ve been telling you on the hour, every hour for 4 days now that we’re all going to America” Ted says with badly hidden annoyance. “Oh right – right, so it was just decided now eh?” Dougal says totally ignoring what Father Ted said. “So why are we going to America Ted?” “I have to perform a special funeral ceremony” Ted says as he holds up an “Ashes 2 Ashes” poster and smiles, he looks forward to the opportunity to get on television and make a bit of cash on the side – a bit of cash that he isn’t really planning on telling the catholic church about. “Oh I hate funerals Ted, they’re always so depressing and full of dead people and really boring guys in black talking about god and other mumbo jumbo” “Dougal?” Ted says as he points to his priest collar to remind him younger friend that they are indeed both priests. “Oh yes right… right. So what’s this special ceremony Ted?” “Well Dougal – I have been selected by Bishop Brennan to take part in a television show in the states called “Ashes to Ashes” – There will be this whole segment starring me… and some wrestlers I suppose.” Ted starts to explain “Ashes 2 Ashes Ted?” Dougal says as his eyes light up. “That’s that SWF Pay Per View! This is amazing! We’re going to the show! We’re going to the show!!” Dougal says as he jumps up and down in place for a moment or two. Then he stops and looks at Father Ted in a suspicious way. “But Bishop Brennan hates you Ted? Why did he select you for the job?” Dougal asks suspiciously. Ted just laughs, it’s not like Bishop Brennan would send him to America to try and keep order in some cemetery while a bunch of people fight and try to break each other’s necks and he may potentially end up hurt now is it?. “Maybe he saw my funeral over Owen’s prize sheep and was impressed” Ted says as he lights up a cigarette. “Anyways come on Dougal the plane leaves in 2 hours from Craggy Island International airport, hair care and food supplies.” Mrs. Doyle, their housekeeper, enters the room carrying a tray with a teapot and a stack of cups and saucers. “Ah there you are Fathers – will you have a cup of tea before you go to America?” Mrs. Doyle asks them. “No thanks Mrs. Doyle, I’m quite alright. We’ll be off soon anyways” Father Ted says as he puts up a hand to stop her. “Oh won’t you have just one cup?” She pleads. “No thanks I’m fine” “But you won’t have anything to drink before you get to America Father, won’t you have a cup?” she pleads “You know they do serve tea on the plane Mrs. Doyle.” Father Ted explains but Mrs. Doyle just giggles “Sure Father, next you’ll be telling me that they server food on the plane too” “They do Mrs. Doyle” “Well then… I guess you won’t be needing these” Mrs. Doyle says all offended as she picks up two suitcases that have sandwiches sticking out in a few places. “I made these specially for you *sob*” Mrs. Doyle is about to walk off, sobbing and insulted when Ted stops her. “Hold on Mrs. Doyle – we’ll eat them, just put them over there” he says pointing to a wooden crate. “I knew you were fibbing about them serving food, I mean next you’ll tell me they serve drinks on the plane too” “DRINK!!” Father Jack Hackett utters as he comes out of his comatose state for the first time as he looks around for a drink. Mrs. Doyle comes over to him with a nice hot cup of tea. “What do you say to a nice cup of tea Father?” she asks. “Feck off cup!” Father Jack yells and knocks the cup out of his hand. Both Father Ted and Father Dougal try to ignore the crusty, nasty, abusive Father Jack. “So Ted, who’s in this funeral ceremony of yours??” Dougal asks, hoping to maybe be able to get an autograph or two of some of his SWF idols. “I don’t know much about it but they said there was a guy named Brice who arranged it all?” Ted says, quickly displaying his lack of knowledge of the SWF ”Brice??… Do you think it could have been Bruce? Bruce Blank?” Dougal the SWF superfan quickly asks. “Yes I suppose it could be” Ted answers… then he gets a little suspicious. “Why? Do you know him?” “Oh yeah Ted, he’s the Hardcore champion – he’s mad. He likes to hit people with barbwire bats and throw them off buildings – it’s great fun. “He sounds like a bit of an eedjit to me Dougal.” Ted replies. “Oh don’t let him catch you saying that” Dougal warns. “I wonder who his opponent is?” “No one mentioned any other names. It could be that they’re having a hard time finding anyone who’s willing to participate, or maybe it’s a surprise Dougal” Ted says “Oh I love surprises” Dougal says ”Yes, yes Dougal we all do” Ted says hoping to stop the conversation right there. “Like the time Father Jack surprised you in the bathroom and then taped you to the toilet with sticky tape and you were stuck there for 5 days” Dougal says while laughing. “That was not funny!” Ted says angrily. Father Jack just giggles as he looks at Ted and then looks at a roll of tape. “That reminds me Ted – how are we going to get Father Jack on the plane?” Dougal asks, knowing how problematic travelling with Father Jack can be. “Don’t worry Dougal, I got it all figured out.” Ted says and winks. Then he holds up a bottle of whiskey in front of Father Jack’s face “DRINK!! DRINK!!” Father Jack shouts as he begins to lick his lips all excitedly, not taking his eyes off the bottle for a moment. “Go get it Father Jack” Ted says as he throws the bottle inside the wooden crate in the corner. The old crusty priest quickly leaps out of his chair and runs after the bottle inside the crate. Seconds later Father Ted slams the lid shut and begins to hammer nails in. “Come on Dougal help me nail it shut before he’s drunk the whole bottle” “This will be fun Ted, we’re going to America – to SWF.” Dougal says with a smile. “Maybe they’ll let me introduce the match? I’d be dead good as a ring announcer or something” Fade out as Father Ted and Father Dougal nail the box shut and then slap a sticker on it that says “Dangerous Animal: Do not feed” on the side. ----------- For those that do not know the brilliance of “Father Ted” then here is a visual aid to help you get the images of Father Ted, Dougal, Jack & Mrs. Doyle in your head. (Left to right: Father Ted, Father Jack (Seated) Father Dougal and their housekeeper Mrs. Doyle on the right.)

Bruce Vs Skull? I always wanted to do a really comedic match and well I do believe the Skull will qualify Oh and he may have issues about the identity theft (If Janus accepts - then we could have Bruce/Skull on Storm in something with a truely "Super villanous" stipulation?)

It’s a dark and stormy night at a cemetery in “Parts Unknown” Bruce Blank is seated on a tombstone in the middle of the pitch black cemetery, only the full moon illuminates the scene. He’s leaned forward resting his head on top of his hands which in turn are rested on the handle of the barbwire bat. The moon turns the blood stains on his hands an eerie black, blood that’s most likely from his match with KOJI. Bruce doesn’t even look up as the camera moves in closer, instead he starts to talk in a low, raspy voice “Ashes to Ashes… Dust to dust” Bruce looks up, the brim of the cowboy hat casts a shadow over his eyes revealing only his demented grin “Some things just go together – Like Bruce Blank and the Ultra Violent Title” Bruce says as he taps the title around his waist. “This might as well be a tattoo cause it’s not leaving my possession unless I chose to part with it.” “Ashes to Ashes… Dust to dust. Again something that just naturally goes together, At Ashes 2 Ashes… there will be Dust 2 Dust, if anyone has the guts to step up against the Ultra Violent champion.” Bruce stands up, flexes his neck and then he starts to walk across the cemetery passing tombstones with names such as “J.J. Johnson” and “Devon Walters” both victims of Bruce Blank in the past. “If you think you have a chance in hell against me just step through those iron gates” Bruce says as he uses the barbwire bat to point to the front gates of the cemetery. “I’ll be waiting” Bruce stops at the edge of an open grave and looks down into the darkness. “50 days, 50 days into my reign of terror” He starts “Longer than Insane Luchador managed to hold on to the title. A full 11 days more than the so called High Priest of Horrorcore Dace Night was able to keep his hands on it” Bruce says with a demented chuckle at Dace’s name, like it was a joke to him. “Longer than such joke champions as Zyon or Longdogger Pete or J.J. Johnson who had no business holding such a title.” Bruce says with distain “Even longer than the “precious legend” Toxxic managed to hold on to the belt before coughing it up” Bruce pauses and looks at the tombstone by the empty grave, it does not have a name on it but it has the date for “Ashes 2 Ashes” carved in it and barbwire wrapped around it. “And there is no end in sight – I’ve gone out there and torn the house down every time the title has been on the line! But it’s not enough, I want more!! More blood!! More pain!! MORE ULTRA VIOLENCE!!!” Bruce grips the handle of the barbwire bat as his eyes light up with sick and twisted glee. “I’m far from done with the title – MY title. So I’m inviting anyone with a death wish to come to the cemetery. Ashes 2 Ashes: Dust 2 Dust… A new name will be added to my list… or names if more than one fool is brave enough to step forward.” Bruce turns his back to the camera and walks away, the moon painting a silver silhouette around his large black figure. As he walks away Bruce makes one final comment. “I don’t like reruns so if I’ve already defended the title against you – don’t waste my time” *Fade out* ------------------------------------ To clarify: The ”Dust 2 Dust” match breaks down like this: It takes place in the cemetery of “Parts Unknown, USA” and anything found inside the cemetery walls is legal including tombstones, mausoleums and the likes. Also on the grounds is a small, creepy, gothic looking church complete with gargoyles, painted mosaic windows and everything else a church can contain. Somewhere on the cemetery is an open grave, you win by putting your opponent in the grave and shovel some dirt on him (Buried alive style) The whole thing is overseen by Father Ted Crilly who will be presiding over the whole match, he’ll call the winner by reciting the funeral verse of “Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust…” in full before the opponent can get out of the grave. Special Apperances by Father Dougal McGuire and Father Jack Hackett sould be expected as well (the names probably don't mean anything if you're not familiar with the Brit-com called "Father Ted") If more than one person is interested in this halloween themed challenge then that can be accomodated too - if it's a 3 way then there are 2 graves spread out over the grounds. if it's a 4 way then there are 3 graves (elimination style) but the limit should be 4 guys, no higher than that. With title defences against JJ Johnson, KOJI, Crimson Skull, Akira and Jimmy the Doom under my belt I’d love to tangle with someone else at Ashes 2 Ashes if possible.

(There was no post here mistaken SMarkdown for Lockdown *waves hand in a Jedi way*) So - erm I guess it depends on if I can lure a certain retired legend into the graveyard for one more match cause if so I'd probably be dressing up as the legendary Janus - complete with promo, Equalizer and wrestling style If I can't lure him out (if my masculine charm fails me... again) well then I'll go with whatever, I don't mind embarrasing

Go on Janus... you know you want to the barbwire bat Vs the Equalizer... the chance to hurt a red neck... a redneck who's 7 days from surpassing your longest Hardcore title reign you know you want to

Bruce is looking for love! Or at least just BUTT sex. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Pervert maybe I'm just looking for a manservant to service my every need

Well damn - if Ultra Violent and Family friendly wasn't like fire and gasoline I'd have loved to take over your spot in that match.

only if it's a barbwire wrapped hug got an image to uphold and everything (just didn't want my comment misconstrued as critism)

Oh shit! before I forget I do appriciate the nice words about my writing - for some weird reason (that a shrink would probably have a field day with) I enjoy writing the bloody, brutal hardcore matches more than any other type of match. On some boards I have a disclaimer in my signature: "Never take anything said by this poster seriously - it could be damaging to your health"

*Sigh* alright since this seems to be big bad bruce here can I just say that the comment i made when I said "Well then thank you for adding to my win colum" was NOT boasting he had told me he no showed, it was an angle and we'd kinda gone off on each other, so to call and end to it I went "Well alrighty then - thank you for adding to my win colum with your angle" not once did I boast that I beat him (since it wasn't a contest at all) and you all seem to think I'm just talking about the 2 losses after Genesis when I said I hadn't seen him win a match in the time I was here? But that's it - I'm not talking about it, I'm not commenting - I'm not even making a mental note directed at Spike. so no worries, just resum with the listings of everyone's top five thank you and good night