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Bruce Blank

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Posts posted by Bruce Blank

  1. Posted · Report reply

    But Sullivan-era WCW 2000 was BETTER than XPW? Sorry, sir, we will have to disagree entirely here. At least XPW had forward motion, even if the vacating of their "World" title three times in its first year of existence was a horrible booking idea, or pitting Rob Black as the top heel was shit since a good chunk of the fans there didn't give two shits about him, or pushing itself as "out with the old, in with the new" hardcore wrestling while basing most of their early main events off of wrestlers who made their name in ECW wasn't so bright...

     

    ...BUT AT LEAST SHIT HAPPENED, MAN!

    Yes "shit" happened very aptly put. You're comparing ALL the events that happened over the course of XPW to the short time Sullivan booked WCW (few months) then yes it had more forward motion but you're comparing several years to a few months, naturally more will happen in years since it's chronologically longer and you can fit in more stuff even if the stuff was crap then yes a lot happened - but is "something happening" in itself something to aspire to? are you saying that a turd rolling down the hill on fire is something to aspire to? a booking era that saw Chris Benoit win the WCW world title trumps anything and EVERYTHING that XPW did.

     

    You're saying yourself "it was crappy" and I'm agreeing with that.

     

  2. Posted · Report reply

    I suggested this a long time ago and I still think it has merit - of course it's BEST to have two men writing and well a two man writing team has a natural advantage over someone writing a match in isolation but I see nothing wrong with someone writing team matches or one singles match per. team member for a show.

     

    Like Tox said we get the "thrown together" kinda team where we usually just wait to see what their breakup angle will be - and who says a team has to have a break up angle? I agree that there should be ground rules to keep 1 guy from having two seperately active guys and feuding with himself (OAOAST, it's right below us, check it out) but I think it could work.

     

    Hell if this had been a rule I would have returned as a team ;)

  4. Posted · Report reply

    XPW can make the same boasts, though. Johnny Webb, The Messiah, Dynamite D, and Homeless Jimmy were all very entertaining in the ring. As were Kid Kaos, Steve Rizzono, and Carlito Montana. Let's not forget about the ECW/WCW guys who stopped in, namely Juventud Guerrera, The Sandman, Jerry Lynn, Shane Douglas, Chris Candido, and Sabu. Are you telling me that NONE of those have ever had a good match? The only one I'd put above the "above average" mark, in truth, is Jerry Lynn, but each are good enough, and often better than what we saw on WCW television each week due to various restrictions. WCW's booking was so bad it hurt the in-ring product. XPW was overall bad, but it was entertainingly bad. XPW were the Troma/Cult B-flick of wrestling: they're bad, but it was fun to watch.
    LOL no they can't make the same claim about talented people - Dynamite was entertaining but not talented the other guys you mention have their place, in garbage matches which isn't the same as talent. Sandman, Douglas & Candido were over the hill by the time they came to XPW, even more so than when they worked for WCW. Juventud? sure he was entertaining. Lynn? Talented and entertaining. Sabu? If you like that kind of thing yes, he can fly, yes he can (sometimes) land on ya but his bread and butter is the garbage match NOT wrestling. and I'm saying that few of the people named in the time period they were in XPW put on entertaining wrestling matches and none as consistently as the WCW guys, few were as talented as WCW's mid-card.

     

    By your own admission they were "good enough" and "overall bad". It wasn't so bad it was fun to watch, it was JUST BAD period. they're the only wrestling tapes I ever threw out after buying them, it was that horrible.

  8. Posted · Report reply

    We see resident ditz / interviewer Emma Dumas waiting in the parking lot, eagerly looking around as she waits for the arrival her subject.

     

    “You sure this is the place?” she asks her cameraman

     

    “He’s driving in from the airport right? He’s booked tonight right?” a voice from off screen says

     

    “Well yeah, but why would he come here? It’s dirty and filthy” Emma says and points to the parking lot.

     

    “Because this is where he’d park his car?”

     

    Emma doesn’t say anything, she just waits in silence passing the time by chewing gum and trying to file her nails at the same time but failing at it because two things at once is just too much for her. Then after a moment she spots a car coming

     

    “Oh this MUST be him” she says with an excited giggle while jumping up and down, thus revealing why the SWF keeps her around.

     

    A loooooooooooong black stretch Volvo Amazon pulls up next to Emma Dumas who bends over and tries to look through the darkened glass.

     

    “Fans Emma Dumas standing by ready to get a word with the newest SWF wrestler and Clusterf*ck winner El Ho…”

     

    Emma is cut off when the door opens and out steps the impeccably dressed Rikard Fleihr

     

    “WØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØ” Fleihr lets lose with his trademark sound as he looks down Emma Dumas’ dress. “The Four Norsemen are here, the Spaced Mountain is ready for business”

     

    Emma stands there, looking dumbfounded as Arne Andersen, Olaf Andersen and Tolland Blankhardt step out of the stretch Volvo behind the leader of the pack.

     

    “I was expecting El Hombre Sin Nombre”

     

    “Well honey you’re getting the kiss borrowing, lending, vending, Volvo riding, First class flying sonuvagun Rikard Fleihr!!” Rik replies, ignoring the fact that this isn’t actually his interview segment.

     

    “And can I just add that Norway was robbed in the European Handball Cup?” Olaf says, sucking up to Rik.

     

    “They should have come to the Four Norsemen for some tips!” Tolland says with a grin.

     

    “Why? Do you guys have a lot of experience with hands on balls??” Emma asks cluelessly.

     

    “Would you like some experience with that?” Fleihr replies, then takes off his gigantic 80ties style smoke coloured sunglasses and looks straight at the camera.

     

    “What you have here is a colle…” Fleihr’s voice trails off as the camera turns and points at a rental car pulling up behind the Four Norsemen’s Volvo. “Hey, hey where are you going!” Fleihr yells as Dumas and the crew run over to the other car.

     

    This time it’s the right car with the masked El Hombre Sin Nombre behind the wheel. The rookie steps out of the car staring at Emma Dumas as she pushes the camera guy out of the way to get into the shot.

     

    “Hi Emma Dumas” she says

     

    “Are you?” El Hombre asks, confused about the frank admission.

     

    “She certainly is” someone in the production staff yells.

     

    “Well okay then” El Hombre says not sure what to say next.

     

    “I’m so pleased to meet you, I’m a big fan”

     

    “Really? But I’ve only had one match” El Hombre says rather meekly, not used to a good old American slut, the Mexican sluts aren’t half as slutty as this (it’s an exchange rate thing, very technical.)

     

    “Yes but what a match, I mean you in there rolling around, getting all sweaty with so many hot guys… “ Emma trails off for a second in her own private fantasy.

     

    “I’m not going to lie to you, it felt great to win the match, I mean I still can’t believe I won it” El Hombre says meekly. “I can hardly remember winning it” he then adds with a chuckle.

     

    “And now you’re getting a World title match at From the Fire, are you excited?”

     

    “Oh yeah its…. Great” El Hombre says in a very unconvincing tone.

     

    “I mean how many rookies win get a shot at the world title in their third match” Emma asks.

     

    “How many rookies are ready for a shot in their third match?” El Hombre Sin Nombre replies.

     

    “You?”

     

    El Hombre doesn’t answer that, choosing to adjust his mask a bit to distract Emma

     

    “Man I bet you’re soooooo hot under there” Emma blurts out.

     

    “It’s actually not that warm, I wouldn’t mind a mask with eye holes and a mouth opening but I can’t wear any other mask than this until I earn it.” El Hombre says totally misunderstanding what Emma Dumas meant.

     

    “If your performance at the Clusterf*ck is anything to judge by you’ll -” Emma starts only to be cut off by Olaf Andersen shooting off his mouth

     

    “He’ll get his ass kicked the entire match and have someone else win for him”

     

    The other Norsemen join in and laugh at Olaf’s joke.

     

    “Que?” El Hombre says, a little annoyed by the four pale (really PALE) riders of the Nor-pocalypse.

     

    “Is the mask blocking your ears little boy?” Olaf says as he and the Norsemen approach El Hombre. “I said you don’t deserve the title shot, your win was a fluke.”

     

    “Fluke?” El Hombre’s English isn’t 100% so he may not understand the word but he understands the tone and intention.

     

    “Yeah a joke, I mean a rookie who has to have a big Samoa help him win” Rik explains with a very condescending voice.

     

    “I’m not a joke!” El Hombre replies angrily.

     

    “Well lookie here the widdle Mexican’t is mad” Olaf says while wagging a finger in El Hombre’s face.

     

    “At least I actually won”

     

    The laughing stops, no one tells the Norsemen that they’re jobbers, even if it’s true.

     

    “Watch it kid” Arne threatens.

     

    “I’m not afra-OUFF~!” El Hombre’s defiance is cut off as Olaf knees the Luchador in the gut followed by the rest of the Norsemen jumping El Hombre Sin Nombre, laying into him with kicks and punches as El Hombre goes into a foetal position on the ground to try and cover up.

     

    “Oh my god stop it!” Emma yells as the Norsemen pummel the helpless and outnumbered El Hombre.

     

    “This is what happens when you get in the Norsemen’s way, it’s not our fault, we’re Viking Warriors and just can’t help ourselves!” Rik Fleihr says, taking a moment out of the beat down to comment and oogle Emma at the same time.

     

    “Security!! SECURITY!!” Emma yells

     

    The threat of the local rent-a-cops makes the Norsemen stop, nervously look around and then scramble off in all directions at the sight of an old man in a grey uniform.

     

    “I’ll see you later kid!” Olaf Andersen yells as Emma Dumas signals for the cameraman to stop filming.

  9. Posted · Report reply

    Apolo (German Figueroa), who signed recently with WWE, is in jail for a month after missing a court hearing in Puerto Rico regarding his domestic abuse case with wife Habana (who also works as a valet). This is a grand level of stupidity because both sides had agreed to dismiss the case and all Apolo had to do was show up to court. But he'd missed a few court dates and this one set the judge off, so he ordered him imprisoned until the next court date on February 25th.
    shortly to be followed by

     

    "the WWE wishes Apolo all the best in his future endeavors"

     

  15. Posted · Report reply

    This is really weird, I wrote it from Friday to Sunday and as you can probably tell I rushed it in several places just so that there wouldn't be another "no-show" situation. From what I read on the forum I wasn't actually the only one to turn in a match? And against a surprising new champion (come on Tox losing to anyone is a surprise), a writer & character I've never encountered before?

     

    One word

     

    "Weird" or in Mexican "El Weirdo" (no wait that's my nickname)

  21. Posted · Report reply

    I love the fact that Zyon made "Hollywood" Matt Myers.
    Funny because that's the only part of the match I had a problem with - Myers dresses up to entertain the crowd, to make them laugh and have a good time.

     

    When was the last time SPike Jenkins made someone laugh (Intentionally) and have a good time? Plus he's a heel so he's a choice that Myers just wouldn't go for. My suggestion? 14th President of the United States Franklin Pierce (Myers) and Vice President William R. King (Matheson) (With a comedic twist to it), it's Sports Edutainmnet :D something totally off the wall.

  23. Posted · Report reply

    Real Name:What ya'll don't think my real name is "Bruce Blank"? Alright it's Martin

    Characters Portrayed: Bruce Blank, Wayne Blank, Ghost Machine V3.0 (I know you're shocked), Nemesis (according to some people) Matt Myers

    In SWF Since: Right before Genesis VI

    Real-Life Height: 6'5'' I think

    Real-Life Weight: somewhere over 220 pounds

    Real-Life Age: 33

    Real-Life Location: Copenhagen Denmark.

    Picture: Not happening

     

    Education: Engineering Degree

    Accomplishments Outside of SWF: Marrying my wife, becoming an IT Manager by the age of 30

    Favorite Band: Sort Sol (Danish Group)

    Favorite Song: "Let your fingers do the walking" by Sort Sol

    Favorite Movie: Hard to pick I'm partial to Star Wars IV & V

    Virgin? Explain.: Nope, should I draw a picture?

     

    Accomplishments Within SWF: Won stuff by beating people over the head with other stuff (in other words: Hardcore champion) - part of like 10 "We're making a go of it" tag-teams that never did make a go of it.

    Favorite SWF Moment: The Japanese Death Match Vs Akira at last year's 'Fuck

    Favorite SWF Writer (All-Time): Tom Flesher

    Favorite SWF Writer (Current): the comedy stylings of Alan Clark at this very moment

    Why You Joined The SWF: For the fame and fortune of course! Well because I'm a big wrestling geek and this looked like it'd be fun

  24. Posted · Report reply

    Man this really is a shitty situation, I don't want the fed to close down but then again I'm not sure what to really do to change it.

     

    I think some people just needs to know if this announcement is "we're definitly closing down" or more of a "Well if this doesn't pick up we'll close down": No hope or a glimmer of hope so I understand Landon's reaction and comments 100%.

     

    I dunno what else to say.

  25. Posted · Report reply

    Bonus Prediction: Will the federation thrive until October?

    I hope so, I'll try to do my part (On that note, we need more feuds! Who wants to kick Myers ass? Come on now you all know you want to)

     

    NON-TITLE MATCH

    Gabriel Drake© vs Ricky Barbosa

    Barbosaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! As surprising as the end of Pirates of the Caribean 2

     

    SWF INTERNATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP #1 CONTENDERSHIP

    Alan Clark© Vs Michael Stephens

    probably NOT as surprising as the end of PotC 2 with Toxxphens winning

     

    HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

    Insane Luchador Vs Jimmy the Doom ©

    tough one if both writes, hella easy if only one writes ;)

     

    in a pinch I'll go with IL

     

    HARDCORE MATCH

    Matt "Insert Gimmick Here" Myers (with James "Insert Adjunct Gimmick Here" Matheson) vs. Zyon

    I'll take side bets on what gimmick I wrote, come on you know you want to guess :D

     

     

    TAG TEAM ACTION

    JJ Johnson and Manson vs. Asia Underground (Michael Cross and Akira Kaibatsu)

    Asian Underground promises team work, unity, motivation - WORKRATE~!

     

    So I'll go with JJ'N'M

     

    SINGLES MATCH

    Johnny ‘the Barracuda’ Dangerous Vs Calvin Szechstein

    C-Alvin the chipmunk

     

    NON-TITLE SINGLES MATCH

    Wildchild© vs Zack Malibu

    This should be a hell of a match since these guys are some of the best match writers I've ever seen

     

    WC takes it since he only has SWF focus

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