WWE Raw March 12th, 2007
We kick things off with them showing a picture of the late Ernie Ladd. Rest in peace Big Cat.
Show highlights of what happened last week on Raw between John Cena and Shawn Michaels
John Cena makes his way to the ring and grabs a microphone. He says that he does not know whether or not he can trust Michaels. He also does not care if he can trust him, and pursues to call out Shawn Michaels. Michales makes his way to the ring. Cena starts yelling about how he is told that Michaels has his back. Hoewver, that is only because of the WWE Championship. Michaels agrees with him, and tells him that he is not going to win the award for Good Samaritan of the Year, atleast not this year (However, he did win the award in 2002 and 2004). Michaels said he is doing a good job of watching Cena's back. However, he wants to know when Cena is going to turn on him. Cena is about to go after Michaels when The Coach shows up. The Coach does not want them to beat each other, and the crowd starts a "You Suck" chant. He tells them with Donald Trump there tonight he cannot be bothered with Cena and Michaels. The Coach then lets them know that they will be running the gauntlet. Three matches, all for the titles, and if they make it to the third match it will be in a steel cage.
That sets up tonight pretty well.
A limo shows up. Is it? Can it be? THE DONALD!!!
The last Money In the Bank Match is tonight between Ric Flair, Carlito and Randy Orton
All celebrities talk about the Hair Vs. Hair Match at WrestleMania, including the gay guy from Entourage and George Costanza.
Rocking it from the nation's capital tonight.
Money In the Bank Triple Threat Match: Ric Flair Vs. Carlito Vs. Randy Orton: There has to be two decisions in this match, elimination rules. Randy Orton looks to be taking on both right away. Orton backbody drops Ric Flair, I love that, it looks like he is backbody dropping your grandfather. Carlito begins to go after Orton, and they double team on Orton. Both Carlito and Flair with chops on Orton. Flair gets a two count on Orton. Carlito now goes to work on him, and he gets a two. This is incredible, they are both double teaming on Orton. I figured they would turn on each other at some point. Flair is looking down Carlito though. Carlito with a reverse elbow on Orton, and Flair looks to go for the figure four. Finally, Flair pushed Carlito out of the way, and Carlito hits him with the back cracker. Orton launches Carlito over the top rop, and hits Flair with the RKO, gets the three count. Carlito and Orton are left, and Carlito gets a near pin. Commercial break. A battle royal and Mick Foley, tomorrow night on ECW. We get back to action and Orton has Carlito in a Boston Crab, after he hit him with a DDT while Carlito was hanging in the ropes during the break. Orton is stomping a mudhole in Carlito. He hits with a knee, and gets a two count. Orton continues to beat on Carlito. Orton puts Carlito in a headlock. Carlito is able to supeplex Orton, and start a comeback. Orton stops that in a hurry. RKO is ready to hit with an RKO doubleheader. Carlito stops the set up with a HurriCarlito (Thought of that on the fly), and he is now working on Orton. Carlito was sent to the turnbuckle, and did a Ruben Sierra shuffle prior to jumping on the rope and hitting Orton on the way down. Carlito (Who is moving in slow motion) went to hit Orton in the turnbuckle, but Orton caught him, and threw him on the top rope. He suddenly hits with an RKO and gets the pinfall. Good match for modern day Raw, and Orton is going to the Money In the Bank Ladder Match at WrestleMania. **3/4.
I pick Fit Finlay to win the Money In the Bank Match, and I pick Niagra to win the NCAA Tournament.
They show Vince McMahon and Bobby Lashley from WWE Smackdown two weeks ago. Followed by Lashley giving McMahon the handshake of doom last week on ECW.
Some jacked guy in a kilt is on fire on Deal or No Deal.
The Slam of the Week is presented by the movie TMNT, and is Khali attack Kane on Smackdown.
The Masterlock Challenge: This week Chris Masters takes on... no music, Bob Backlund? He says nobody in the back will take the challenge, so it has to be someone out here. Rob Van Dam? He once washed Ted Dibiase's feet. Lilian Garcia? No, Super Crazy!!! He just attacks Chris Masters, and is on a roll, but then he gets caught in the Masterlock. Masters lets go. It is over. Should have kept on Deal or No Deal.
Another limo is here. Can it be? Is it? Vince McMahon!!!
McMahon talks to Donald Trump's driver, and he wants the driver to inform the Donald that Vince's limo is bigger than his. I think he means his limo is bigger than his.
This new Hardknocks (Or whatever it is called) Mick Foley book sounds awesome.
This guy on Deal or No Deal is broke. I am sure he can throw some kegs over a wall, and win some dough on ESPN 2 at 2:00 a.m.
People talk about the late great "Big Cat" Ernie Ladd, R.I.P "Big Cat."
Orton and Edge are in the locker room together. Orton lets him know that he will also be in the Money In the Bank Match at WrestleMania. Edge lets him know about his ladder match history, and his WrestleMania unbeaten streak. Orton says he is only unbeaten because he has never faced RKO, and they exchange good luck in some way.
A special public service announcement. What is this about? The Rock is reading the L.A. Times!!! Where did that come home?!?! FINALLY, The Rock has come back to Monday Night RaWii! He talks about the Hair Vs. Hair Match at WrestleMania, and he picks The Donald. He also tells Vince that Umaga means shriveled up monkey penis, and he cannot win with that. He guarantees Lashley and The Donald will beat Umaga and Vince at WrestleMania, if you smelll whatttttt...... The Rock......... is cookin.
Cena is shown walking around with both titles, looking like he is clueless of his surroundings.
They show Ashley, not to get mixed up with Bobby Lashley, doing her first ever Playboy signing in New York City. The last kid they showed could not be any older than eight.
The guy had $1,000,000 in his case, but quit early. Second time tonight, damn.
Tag Team Title Gauntlet Match: Shawn Michaels & John Cena (Champions) Vs. The World's Greatest Tag Team: We start with John Cena and Shelton Benjamin. Cena is just beating him up to start the match, but Charlie Haas broke that up with a cheap shot from the outside. Haas is now in, and he going to work on Cena. Somebody with a Cuck Fena sign in the second row. I wonder if the WWE gave him that sign. Cena is able to fight back and hits with a modified bulldog (I sound like Jim Ross). Shawn Michaels is in and punches Haas, fired by a flying elbow and an atomic drop. Michaels is beating up on Haas and Benjamin. Cena tagged in, but it was not pretty. He hits Haas with the STFU, and it is over. Quick match, whatever. *3/4.
Tag Team Title Gauntlet Match: Shawn Michaels & John Cena (Champions) Vs. Cade Jindrik & Dick Murdoch: Cade Jindrik and Dick Murdoch are beating the snot out of Michaels here. Wow, the tag team division on Raw these days is awful. Michaels finally hits with an enzugri, and Murdoch comes in as does Cena. This is an anti-Cena crowd tonight. Cena is beating up on Murdoch and is going for the five knuckle shuffle, followed by the FU. Michaels Super-Kicked Murodch while Cena held him for the FU, and then Cena got the pin. What an awesome finishing manuever. Not as good as the first, but with that awesome finisher. *3/4.
Tag Team Title Gauntlet Cage Match: Shawn Michaels & John Cena (Champions) Vs. M & M: Joey Mercury and Johnny Nitro are beating up John Cena when we get back from break. Mercury has Cena in a headlock, but Cena starts to break the hold. Shawn Michaels is in. Joey Mercury sends Michaels into the cage, and tags in Nitro who keeps the pressure on Michaels. Mercury is back in, he works on Michaels, and tags in Nitro. Nitro goes for a move off the top rope, and misses. Nitro tags in Mercury, but Michaels cannot tag in Cena. I see Michaels and Cena finally going at it tonight, but Cena gets tag in, who knows. Cena is beating up on Mercury and Nitro, and send them both into the cage. Michaels is now getting in on the fun, doing a little anything you can do, I can do better. Cena sets up Mercury for the FU, but Michaels goes for the Super Kick again, therefore, Cena drops him. Michaels Super Kicks Mercury and Cena gives him the FU, and Cena gets the three count. All of the participants come back in, but Cena and Michaels clear house, and Cena nearly clobbers Michaels with a chair, but does not do it. This was entertaining **3/4.
The contract signing for the Battle of the Billionaires is still to come!!!
Jeff Hardy Vs. The Great Khali: Edge starts babbling about how the Washington Redskins show a racial slur on Native Americans, haha. He does not want to compete in this match, because of the racial slur, and therefore brings out the Native American, The Great Khali. Jeff Hardy tries to punch the Great Khali, but forget about it, Khali is going to town on him. He throws Hardy down. As Edge celebrates Kane's pyro goes off, and he coems to the ring with some chain with a hook. Everyone took off. Apparantly Kane used this hook in See No Evil, and Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler got done, but Kane hooked and took down there table. This was almost as entertaining as the Shawn Michaels and John Cena stuff. 1/2*.
The Donald asks the girl who does Vince's hair if it real or not.
Hall of Fame Announcement time!!! This week they announce that the next hall of famer is Mr. Fugi!!!
Todd Whatisface interviews Mick Foley who talks about his new book, which is actually called Hardcore Diaries. Ashley shows up to trade her Playboy for Mick's book, but Mick cannot look at naked girls he knows. However, she shows him, and Mick Foley and Ron Simmons both stare in awe, which leads to an obvious DAMN!!!
They show the tale of the tape for the Battle of the Billionaires. Vince is now talking to the lady who does his hair, and asks who has a better head of hair, Vince or The Donald? The Coach says Vince, but he does not like The Coach being there, because he is bald.
Snoop Dogg is part of the Raw Nation, nice.
The WWE Rewind which is brought to you by Just For Men is Melina and Mickie's match from last week, and then Ashley shoving Melina on her rear end.
Melina Vs. Torrie Wilson: This is a non-title match, and has a Thing You Do-esque theme song. Torrie Wilson starts the match with a rest hold. Always a good start. These two exchange slow moves. Melina seems to have the advantage, and gets a two count. Torrie responds with a pinning manuever, and gets a two count. I think there has been six hair throws in this match so far. Torrie hits with a supeplex, but Melina is able to come back and roles up Torrie for the three count. Melina attacks Torrie after the match, and then Mickie James comes in to save Torrie and Victoria comes in to save Melina. Everyone clears out, but Melina, and Ashley comes down and beats up Melina. That was whatever, *.
Vince is on his way to the ring for the contract signing when he is stopped by Edge who says Rated-RKO is outraged over Lashley putting his hands on Vince. He thinks Randy Orton should take on Lashley on ECW tomorrow night, with Edge in Orton's corner. Vince is thankful for the thoughtfulness, but he will worry about it tomorrow.
WrestleMania Reversal Night next week, WrestleMania rematches, sounds cool.
Vince comes down to sign the contract. I hope The Donald's theme song is Money Money Money, The Apprentice style, not Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase style. Vince is yelling at the crowd already, because they laughed about him nearly falling. He is saying that The Donald is going to be upset that he made this deal. Vince introduces Umaga, who I just realized wears braces, like legit braces. He should use that to his advantage. The Donald is here, and it is somewhat of The Apprentice style of Money Money Money. It is the same song, but sung by like the same guy who sung the Saved by the Bell theme song. The Donald is yelling at Vince like he lost as the Activity Manager on The Apprentice and is going home. The Donald introduces the ECW Champion, Bobby Lashley. The Donald loves Bobby. Vince will sign first. I think Lashley would be much better on the show, compared to The Donald's daughter. The Donald thinks Lashley will kick Umaga's ass. Lashley also looks like a Barber or Shawn Alexander. They talk smack, when the glass breaks, and it is Steve Austin. Who will arrive, raise hell and leave. However, prior to raising hell he is going from turnbuckle to turnbuckle doing his thing. Some people give a hell yeah for Vince beating The Donald, but I just think those people were not paying attention. More people, who woke up, give a hell yeah for The Donald beating Vince. Austin is quick talking to The Donald. Austin is rocking the sneaks tonight. He is letting The Donald know how it is. If The Donald pisses Austin off he will open an $8 billion can of whoop ass and serve it to him, nice. He now goes, and is letting Vince what is good. Austin wants to know if Vince has a problem with bald headed people as Vince stares at Austin and Lashley. Austin reminds Vince of the past. He lets both of them know what is going on, and names all different types of man haircuts, and then he takes off. This is going on forever. Vince takes the microphone again, and tells The Donald that when Umaga beats Bobby Lashley at WrestleMania, Vince and Austin will shave The Donald's hair, and Umaga and Vince leave. The Donald takes the microphone, and tells Vince that he has been seeing him all over the country. The Donald shows Vince what he would look like bald. He tells Lashley that he just wants Vince to suffer. The Donald challenges Vince one on one, and Vince begins to go, and backs off. The Donald wants Lashley to take Umaga, and The Donald will beat up Vince. Vince returns, says something to Lashley, and is going to challenge The Donald, and gets in the ring. It is 11:15 EDT. The Donald shoves Vince over a table. That was somewhat great. Cool way to end the show.
The Bottom Line: A good show actually, atleast we had some storyline developments. Not to mention the tag team gauntlet situation tonight. Also the historic The Donald owning Vince.
Thanks.
